How old is too old ?

[jacdnwarrior]

Recently I saw in the news where Steve Martin (actor) became a father at 67. Read about another story about a guy having a child at 80+. That just sounds nuts to me, chasing some chick decades younger to have a kid with her is just weird to me.

Now to people reading this, they may be laughing thinking I'm crazy. My view is the energy a person needs to deal with children, which you probably won't have at 60+ or 80+. Second, those old men chasing some young girl to make sure they pass their DNA, seems creepy to me. When I see cases like a Steve Martin, I wonder, why ? Why have them at such an advanced age ? We can't all have them when we're young but for shit's sake.

Do you think you're ever too old to have kids whether you be a man or woman ?
What do you think is the best age or situation to have kids and what do you think about people who have kids at advanced ages like 60, 70 or 80+?

 

[Coco]

I'd say that if you're incapable of caring for and providing for a child, you're too old. That said, that threshold comes much later in life for the wealthy (which I'm sure Martin is). With money, you can afford to pay someone else to look after a child most of the time. An impoverished 67 year old taking care of a child is far different than a wealth 67 year old providing for that same child.

As for the creep factor, I'm not bothered by it. I don't believe that ageing means you lose any paternal instinct you might have or the desire to fuck younger women. It's really down to the feelings of the people in that relationship, but it doesn't trouble me. Of course I realize that many people feel differently on the matter.

 

[GI Cake]

Quite frankly I don't see the big deal in the argument against older men and women wanting to have children. It's 2013, if they finally want to put their career to the side and have a kid, fine with me. Do I find it weird? Of course, then again old people in general give me the creeps, but I will be damned before I tell someone otherwise about how to live their life.

Bottom line, if Steve Martin finally wants to settle down, let him. He made plenty of money to take care of his offspring, and as long as he gives them a healthy home, that's the only thing that really matters. The same goes for any other senior citizens that want to finally have a family.

 

[HBsam31]

I think there are things to be considered. First and foremost, are you going to be alive long enough to see the child grow up. I can't see the point in satisfying your own need to have a child if you are going to die when that child is 10 or 11 years old. I know that can happen to young people as well, but your chance of dying when the child is young is much greater if you are 70 yourself. My wife and I are 32 and have a one year old and me and my wife are exhausted most if not all of the time. A 67 year old that does not have enough money to pay for child care imo would put himself in a much sooner grave. A rich person is different as someone else would mostly likely be doing all of the grunt work. Think about this too, how would you like to be the elementary school kid with the 75 year old dad lol? That kid better have some thick skin. All of this said it is ultimately up to the person, and if they feel they can do it then who am I? Old guys wanting to bang younger women is something that I imagine is pretty common. Old guys chasing younger women to spread their seed is weird and I felt weird even typing it lol. Again these are just my opinions. People are going to do what people are going to do whether I find it strange or not.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

I hate to make judgements on decisions people make to start a family. When people are critical of poor, non-married, same-sex, or single moms/dads I get pissed at their intolerance. But I'm a huge hypocrit because I don't think there are many folks over 50ish who have much business bringing a new life in to the world. I know children of older adults are never going to say they wish their parents never had them but I also know every child that loves their parents want them around and healthy as long as possible and they want parents who are going to share in their life experiences the same way as other kids. They want their parents to be around and healthy certainly well in to the point where they can help take care and help raise the grandkids. It's just highly unlikely that is going to happen with 50 year old parents unless the next generation is trying out for Teen Mom.

Plus I've had my two kids in my mid-30's and I'm fucking exhausted. They need so much attention and even more love and guidance. Being even a half way decent parent is tough work.

So yes, Obama should arrest all people over 50 who have kids and the children should be used for medical experiments, slave labor or give them to gay couples.

 

[lowandmighty]

This could be controversial saying this, but I think for someone who's a multi millionaire many times over like Steve Martin, Dave letterman and other people that old who've had kids in the last few years its ok. Its only ok because they're so rich and their wives are young and hopefully they've written in their wills that their children will inherit fortunes.

However for everyone else very early 40's at the latest. Most people just can't afford to raise children unless they're still young and employable for at least the next 20 years.

I'll probably get killed for this but personally, these days I don't think anyone who isn't already a millionaire or certain to be one should have children. (and I'm definitely not a millionaire by the way)

The reason for my horrible opinion is that the world is dying partly due to over population - of humans. The same thing is happening to the world as what happens to your body when you have a virus.

The virus multiplies inside you and eventually the body heats up too much to function and you die. Thats whats happening to the earth, there's too many of us and we're chocking the world to death.

The majority of the world needs to be culled and America is one of the main culprits. China and India are the worst though, most of Asia needs to be wiped out, most of Europe and sadly a big part of USA. I'm not forgetting about Africa either. When loggers in the Amazon rain forest complain that they need to cut down trees to live they should be told, the world needs them not to live to live.

If it was going to preserve the future for everyone else (or at least a reasonable amount of people) I would gladly volunteer to be one of the people to go since I know I'm only making things worse by being here.

Soylent Green comes to mind.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Plus I've had my two kids in my mid-30's and I'm fucking exhausted. They need so much attention and even more love and guidance. Being even a half way decent parent is tough work.

True. In fact, it's an awesome responsibility that many folks are completely unprepared for. When you add up the people who are far too young to have a child and add them to the ones who wait till after 35, you can really appreciate the people in their 20's who have the youth and resources to take on the task. As George Steele's Barber said, he's exhausted raising his two kids in his mid-30's.....it's got to be hard, hard work that people don't consider when deciding to have kids. They think of the pleasure they'll get from the kid without having any idea of the investment in time and how much their lives are going to change because of it.

I don't set policy, but since this question is being asked, I say that after 35 you're getting into dicey territory. I'm 34, at the outer edge of that limit, and although I have no intention of ever having children, I can recognize that living on my own terms all these years and being set in my ways to a certain extent, the idea of incorporating a new being into my lifestyle would be extremely hard, especially since that new person demands everything you've got.

As for Steve Martin having his first at age 67, while he's surely considering his own desires, I wonder if it ever occurred to him to think about the child, who is going to have their father for a much more limited portion of their life than someone whose Dad was 40 years younger when they were born.

Hell, Steve might not even make it to his kid's Bar Mitzvah.

 

[H33LTurn]

I doubt it has anything to do with spreading DNA. If you have all the money in the world why spend your last days with someone you find unattractive when you can fulfill most male's fantasies and date a beautiful young thing. However, I have to agree with you that a 60 or 80 year old man will not be able to keep up with the duties of being a father. Its also irresponsible to have a child knowing you wont be there for them when they graduate from college, get married, have children. Imo if you're famous you have a good chance of being an absent parent as it is. Now to top it all off hes going to have a child at this age? Its beyond ridiculous.

 

[Nova Secura]

I don't really think that it's right for anyone who's no longer capable of taking care of themselves to be allowed to bring children into this world. Obviously I can't say that we should create laws that prevent people from having consensual unprotected sex with one another, but I do think we should try and limit the age at which society deems it socially acceptable to have a child.

That's the issue with this kind of situation, no-one's actually brave enough to bother with standing up to any of this complete and utter bullshit. Who's going to say that if a guy's sixty three years of age that he shouldn't have children, not me nor anyone I know that's for sure. Perhaps when someone's deemed unable to care for themselves and live independently that's when we should draw the line. I mean that's why the legal adoption age has its' limits isn't it ? Because if we let every person over seventy adopt a child there's an extraordinarily high chance that a lot of these children would be used as servants and helpers rather then being treated as a child should be treated.

The issue with this is that it revolves entirely around the age of the person who's involved in said situation. We can never, ever judge a group of people by their age. Hell I'm twenty years old and I'm damn sure that their are people ten maybe even twenty years older then me who are in better physical shape. Basically it suffers from the same problem that the legal sex age in any country does, you cannot judge a whole group of people based on their age, though it's more commonly accepted that the older you are the more mature you are that's not always the case and the same could be said here.

Just because someone's old does not, under any circumstances mean that they shouldn't or aren't able to raise and support a child. We as a society seem to focus far, far too much on things like age rather than the abilities and well being of the person that we're judging. I suppose what I'm trying to get here is that the only limit we should really bother to impose is peer pressure. If it's looked upon as a negative by society it should put the majority of people off of doing it when they get to the age when they're no longer capable of taking care of a child.

In short there's really no definitive age that can be given for something like this, it's really up to the people who are doing it and unfortunately for the children that are produced as a result of this, they may end up seeing their parents die before they leave Secondary Education.

 

[Loveless]

I'm of the opinion that having kids is an 18 year contract minimum and that if you can't do the job for that period of time at a reasonable level, then you shouldn't be having them. With that in mind I'd say anyone having kids after 60 is being irresponsible & selfish.

 

[LSN80]

With that in mind I'd say anyone having kids after 60 is being irresponsible & selfish.

Care to expand on this? Because Id love to hear it.

If you're capable of caring for your children and providing them a life with the emotional and physical necessities they deserve, why should there be an "age limit" capping when you have children. 17 years ago, my uncle and aunt couldn't have kids, and at 61 and 49 respectively, adopted twins. It wasn't as if they didn't try previous, both traditionally and through adoption, and were unsuccessful. But they wanted kids, and more importantly, knew they could provide a stable, loving home for their now 17 year old son.

I'd say they've done pretty well, as their son, my cousin, is headed to Penn State on a full academic scholarship in the fall, and at 78 and 76, other then minor health problems, nothing has prevented them from being great parents.

I can see the argument, I suppose, that my uncle and aunt won't be there in his 30's and 40's to see grandchildren, so there's that. I'm 30 and thankful my parents are still alive and only in their late 50's, as they've been invaluable in guidance with me in helping to raise my own daughter. My cousin won't have that luxury with his own parents, most likely, and that sucks. But technically, a parent's responsibility to their child ends at 18, and my uncle and aunt have fulfilled that, and then some.

I'd suggest that parents who have kids later in their life are more motivated to provide a proper upbringing for their children, else, why have them? There's nothing irresponsible or selfish about that, in fact, it's one of the most selfless things I can think of. To spend your twilight years raising children, the time when it's supposed to be about you, well, there's something pretty damn special about that.