How many different things can you call CM Punk in two paragraphs?

[Uncle Sam]

I think WWE.com holds the record:

Interrupting another boastful speech from WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio, CM Punk questioned The Mexican Aristocrat’s claims that no one could beat him. Pointing out that he pinned him as recently as a month ago, The Voice of the Voiceless challenged the champion to put his title on the line against him. Unsurprisingly, Del Rio scoffed, saying the Chicago native wasn't a worthy challenger.

The tense moment brought out Interim Raw General Manager John Laurinaitis who awarded Punk his WWE Title Match for Survivor Series, but there was a catch. Explaining that The Straight Edge Superstar had to revere him before he gave him a championship opportunity, the executive commanded Punk to tell the entire WWE Universe that he respected him. The incendiary Superstar sarcastically obliged, but it wasn’t good enough for Mr. Laurinaitis who told the tattooed rebel he’d take a week to think about the title bout. The Straight Edge Superstar then gave both the GM and Del Rio something to think about by nailing Ricardo Rodriguez with the GTS.

They *****ed out by using "Punk" and "Straight Edge Superstar" twice, frankly.

 

[Vega]

Add Second City Saint.

 

[Uncle Sam]

Skinny fatass.

 

[King Patrick Star]

They forgot Mr. Moneys In The Banks, Second City Saint, Straight Edge Savior, Leader of the New Straight Edge Nexus Society and most importantly, The Best In The World (self-proclaimed if you ask me, wait, did I just sound like Hollywood when he dissed the Rock “so much for the People’s taste”??).

 

[Mr. Artistic guy]

CM Punk is a lovely man.

In contrast to that, CM Punk is very silly.

I lose.