House Show 6: Wilhelm Wunderbar vs. Andy Simmons

[Phoenix]

WZCW is providing another one of its famous house shows in your local area and one match pencilled in is two trialists in the form of Wilhelm Wunderbar and Andy Simmons. Their performances are being watched by WZCW executives who will report back to the Board of Directors as to whether they deserve a contract or not.

Thread to be used by Wilhelm Wunderbar and Andy Simmons only

Deadline is Tuesday 27th July 23:59 EST

 

[The Vintage One]

The camera fades into the training area of Andy Simmons. Andy is training with his trainer Ryan Williams as they are preparing for Andy’s trial match against Wilhelm Wunderbar.

Come on Andy you got this.

Andy is doing pull-ups to build his upper core.

95!!!

Only 5 more, dig deep.

Andy is struggling to get up.

Never give up, must not quit.

As Andy searches deep down in his heart, he magically beings to lift himself up

96, 97, 98, 99, 100.

YEAH!!!!

My pecs are killing me.

That’s good, that means you worked hard. I am proud of you bud.

Thanks Coach, we only have a week left before my first ever match in WZCW.

Slow down there bud, this is only a trial match, and if you impress the board, then you are on the official WZCW Roster.

With the power of God, and everybody else up there….

Andy gives a quick prayer

There will be no stopping me. I will do whatever it takes to win, I must get this contract, no more living on the streets. It is a miracle I am alive today, and WZCW will help me turn my life around. Ryan, apparently I am facing some dude names Wilhelm Wunderbar, and he is some German who hates everything about America.

He is bigger and stronger then you, but you got one thing on him, and that is your heart. I need you to give it your all out there, and you will pull through. I will be alongside you throughout this whole thing, and you know you got your Momma up from above through God and will give you the strength you need to get past this guy. Now go hit the showers, and get dressed, as one of the interviewers is coming here in 30 minutes, and she is here to meet you and give you your first professional interview.

That is awesome, give me 20 minutes and I will be out and ready to go.

As Andy is in the shower, he starts talking to himself.

Man, this is huge for me. Wilhelm Wunderbar, a trial match, this is my one opportunity. I fail here, it is over for me.

Andy slaps himself in the face.

Andy: I can’t think like that, got to be focused on the prize, I know I c an beat this dude. He is a big and aggressive, decent wrestler, how do you beat that? Got to think, got to think. That’s it!!! Work his legs, with my high speed offense, if I can take out the knees, I can then use my arsenal and slow him down. He won’t catch up with me.

Andy hears a knock on the shower door.

Who’s there?

It’s Ryan… you ready?

Uhh yeah give me just a sec.

Alright, hurry up, the interviewer is going to be here any minute, and we don’t want to get a bad reputation before we even start here.

Good point. I am about to get out and go change, be out in a jiff.

Good stuff my man.

Andy heads out the shower, and he continues to think to himself about his strategy as he gets dressed, and heads to the training room. As he gets inside, he sees Ryan talking to WZCW Interviewer Becky Serra.

And here he is. Andy this is Rebecca Serra, and she is from WZCW and here to interview you.

Please, call me Becky.

Well hello Becky, very nice to meet you, may God bless your heart.

Why thank you, but now lets get started with the interview now shall we?

Why of course.

Johnny you ready?

The cameraman nods, and puts down the countdown with his fingers.

3.

2.

1.

Hello WZCW, Becky Serra here with a man who is about to get his trial match at the next house show against Wilhelm Wunderbar, “The Underdog” Andy Simmons. Now Andy lets get to know about you first, where did you come up with the nickname “The Underdog”?

I have always been down in my life. I was the short one, the weakest one, never really had many friends, and was basically considered a “loser” throughout my life. I have been poor my whole life, never have seen my father, my moth died at the age of 12. I struggled to find for food, I had to live on my own and fend for myself on the streets for most of my childhood. I lived in a box, and if it wasn’t for Ryan I wouldn’t be here today. That is why I call myself “The Underdog”.

Well you certainly will be consider the underdog in your trial match against Wilhelm as you are a 5’11” and 175 pounds while your opponent is 6’3” and 275 pounds. How do you plan to beat a man with that big a size advantage?

Well you see I got one think that will be bigger then Mr. Wunderbar will ever have, in fact it will be bigger then anybody in the history of WZCW will ever have, and that is heart. I will have to dig down real deep, but I will never give up. I need this contract, this may be my only shot, and I don’t want to go back to the streets empty handed, in fact I don’t want to live on the streets ever again. I don’t plan to be rich, but I just want to have a home, normal food, and you know what I will get that. I have the power of my mother up above as well as the great one himself. But heart will not just win it alone but I also need a strategy and I got a good one.

And what exactly is that?

What is my strategy for this fight? I plan to work his knees, as I have a very fast, high flying arsenal, and he is also pretty quick for his size, so I got to slow him down. If I weaken his knee, I can complete my arsenal and hopefully land The God Bless Splash and get the victory.

Well since you mentioned it, I figured I will tell you this.

Tell me what?

According to my files, Wilhelm Wunderbar , his left knee was injured as a child, and it has never fully recovered.

Exactly, I must exploit this weakness of his. I will do whatever it takes, I know it won’t be easy, but I will get to that knee, and when I do, I will prove to the whole world that “The Underdog” can win in life, and I will make my first impact in WZCW, and Mr. Wunderbar, I am sorry that you will have to face defeat as I will go to no limits to win this match fair and square.

Well Mr. Simmons, thank you for your time. WZCW fans this is Andy Simmons, and make sure you fans go see him at WZCW’s next house show.

Cameraman: And we’re out.

Thanks Becky, I appreciate it.

No problem, have a nice day Andy.

You too Becky, and may god bless.

Becky walks out of the training arena with the cameraman

Alright Andy lets put your master strategy to work, lets get back to training.

You got it boss.

As Andy and Ryan head back to the gym, the camera fades out.

 

[Remix]

In a light, nondescript room, a phone rang. A fairly tall, well built blonde man answered.

Guten Morgen, Kaizer Wilhelm Wunderbar speaking. How can I help you?... the WZCW board of directors have reviewed my application and decided to grant me a trial match at the next house show? Excellent, who will be my opponent? Andy Simmons?

Wilhelms’ grip tightened on the phone.

Das ist kein Problem. (sigh) I said that’s not a problem. I will see you at the house show.

He hangs up, clenched his fists tightly and breathed deeply, clearly in an attempt to control himself. He walked over to a metal basket, which despite there being no pool table in the room contained a large number of pool cues. He removed one and looked at it, a look of intense rage and hatrid on his face.

Andy Simmons? My first match is against Andy Simmons?

Wunderbar snapped the cue in two across his good knee and roared. Breaking the inanimate object clearly calming him down somewhat. Still agitated though he threw the pieces to the ground and stormed out of the room.

Thirty Minutes later

Wilhelm was at the gym, beating the hell out of a big punchbag with fast, hard, precise punches. A number of spectators had gathered, one looking particularly concerned.

What’s pissed you off Bill?

Wilhelm turned to face the speaker. His face making him wish he’s held his tounge.

What did you call me?

Bill

My name is Wilhelm Wunderbar. Not William Wonderful, Billy Brilliant or any other disgusting corruptions of my name that you Americans can think of. Do you understand?

He nodded and Wunderbar landed a sickening roundhouse kick at chest height on the bag, receiving a particularly impressive thump as his foot and shin connect with the bag. In his mind the bag no longer existed. In front of him was Andy Simmons, motionless except in response to his punishing blows. A plan to defeat the real American would come later. But for now, this was therapeutic. Wilhelm smiled, this was fun.

3 days later

Since calming down, Wilhelm had begun preparations for the match. This meant he was hard at work researching Andrew Simmons’ strengths, weaknesses and devising strategies to lead to defeat him. A knock at the door snaps Wilhelm out of his reverie. He answers the knock, to reveal WZCW interviewer Leon Kensworth stood in front of him, looking apprehensive.

Mr Wunderbar, I’m...

I know who you are, Kensworth.

He gestures into the house, and lead him to the same room where he first found out about the trial match.

And it doesn’t take a German brain to figure out why you’re here. If you want to interview me, you’d best make it fast. I’m busy.

That’s fine. You guys ready?

The cameraman and soundman both nodded and the interview begins.

Your try out match with WZCW is against...

Andrew Simmons.

Right. Is he someone you’d particularly like to face?

Andrew Simmons is a man who represents everything I despise. EVERYTHING from his pious to his ridiculous offence annoys me. When I heard I had to spend time in the ring with him, I was filled with a fire that I have not felt in years. This fire shall burn the pious Arschgeige to a crisp. So to answer your question Leon, yes I am looking forward to wrestling Andy Simmons. And there is no moment in that match that will be sweeter than when I lock in the Kaizerlock, when I feel the pain running through his veins, when he realises that his god is powerless to help him and no matter how big his heart is, there is no way to escape. The only release is to admit that he is beaten. To admit, like the cowardly American he is that he is nothing more than a bitch.

do you have any final words for your opponent?

Yes I do. Simmons, you and I have our similarities. We are both without family. We are both survivors. But there are two things that separate us. Firstly you are American, and that means you, like the companies spawned by your exploitative companies are a cancer on the planet. The most important one though is that you are weaker than I am. You might be able to walk without a limp, you might be able to jump higher than I can. But deep down you know as well as I do how weak you are. You put your faith and your trust in others because they can do things you can’t. Where I worked my way from the gutter to the ring, you were handed a rope. Where I believe that nobody but myself is responsible for my destiny, you believe in a God who shapes yours. Let me tell you Simmons, there is no God, your mother is rotting in her grave, and I have your medical files.

He paused to look in a folder

Your heart is actually undersized. You should see a doctor about that.

He closes the folder again.

Andrew, the best thing for you to do would be surrender before this match takes place. We both know that I am both stronger and better than you. If you surrended, at least you get to walk home, rather than get driven to hospital in an ambulance.