klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Hog Wild
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
So it’s a Saturday night in South Dakota. That’s not something you hear that often, but here we are with the first PPV in the NWO Era. This is one of WCW’s weirder traditions that would up being called Road Wild due to Harley Davidson complaining about the name so in essence this is a one off show before next year if that makes sense. The main event is Giant vs. Hogan for the title. Any guesses there? Other than that this is a fairly dull card but this is the dawning of a new era, so let’s get to it.
We get a graphic saying the opinions of the NWO do not reflect that of Turner. That’s saying a lot.
Oh also since this is held at a biker rally, there was no money brought in as there could be no tickets sold. Brilliant right?
I’ve never gotten the point of this, but the scenery actually is gorgeous. I was amazed by it when I was there as a kid.
Dusty and Tony are dressed like bikers. When I say bikers, I mean they look like they’re homosexual lovers. Not saying they look stupid (which they do), but that’s the first idea you would get when you saw them too.
The fans really aren’t likely to be wrestling fans so expect some odd responses.
Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio
They of course mess up and call him Ultimate Dragon. Tenay comes in to save the biker boys for this one. Tony and Dusty are in leather jackets, dew rags and bad sunglasses with leather pants. You figure out why I said what I said earlier. After both guys come out, Tony says good night. They had aired everything up until that point on WCW Saturday Night.
That’s a brilliant idea actually to hook in a few extra viewers if it worked. Rey is champion here, having won it like a month or so ago. Dragon is 29 here and Rey is 21. I never would have guessed Dragon was that old. We hear about the lawn dart moment which scared the hell out of me back in the day as I was a big Rey fan. The fans chant USA for a guy based out of Mexico against a guy based out of Japan. Brillaint.
These two are freaking fast. Dusty gets the name of a kick right and FREAKS over it. That was kind of amusing. Even Sonny Onoo is dressed as a biker. This is creepy. Great dropkick to the chest by Dragon. Oh and Dragon is heel. Dragon busts out a Liger Bomb but doesn’t cover or anything stupid like that. We hear about Dragon’s run in the J Crown tournament where he beat Liger in 2 and a half minutes.
Also we hear of Liger having a brain tumor. He would recover which is always good to hear. The ring here is up on a platform that’s probably two and a half feet high and then it’s just the ground. Rey dives over the top and lands on Dragon on the ground. Looked AMAZING to put it mildly.
Rey was just fun to watch. That’s the only way to put it. They both just start busting out the high spots which the crowd love of course because you don’t need backstory for stuff like this. Rey goes for a rana from the top but it’s blocked so he does it again and gets the pin. I kind of like that.
Rating: B. For an opener, this was about as good as you were going to get it. The crowd is wide awake now as that’s the kind of match that you don’t need to have much stuff explained to you to have it work. High spots are the best choice for opening a show and this was no exception.
The announcers pretend to know something about motorcycles.
Scott Norton vs. Ice Train
This is a grudge match allegedly. They used to be Fire and Ice and now they’re mad at each other. I guess they’re fighting over who forgot to rewind Forrest Gump since they had to pay a fine for it at Blockbuster. We immediately start talking about the world title match because that’s light years more interesting than this bullshit. Ice Train’s arm is taped up due to the Giant.
A smart wrestler would work on it. Norton is apparently a smart wrestler. He beats the living crap out of Train’s arm and head. For some reason I used to like Ice Train a lot and I have no idea why. This is all just big power moves so far and it’s not very good. The arm work is smart if nothing else so I’ll give him credit for that. They used to be an effective team apparently. That’s just amusing. Train gets a powerslam and some clotheslines but that’s about it. An armbar ends it with Norton winning.
Rating: D. This was pure filler and nothing more. I’ll give the usual boring Norton credit for the psychology though as some people would probably have worked on the leg of all things while Train’s arm was all taped up. At least this made sense and ended something I suppose so I’ll give it credit for that.
We recap a Flair interview from Saturday where he talked about the NWO injuring Anderson which I think was how they wrote him off for his injuries which he never came back from. He had Eddie Guerrero tonight though so this didn’t make a ton of sense but it’s not exactly bad.
Madusa vs. Bull Nakano
This is a Battle of the Bikes where I think the winner gets to break the loser’s motorcycle. What? Don’t you have one of those lying around? Nakano is the chick with the hair that stands up. These two had some great matches in WWF and Japan so I’m not complaining here. Madusa is of course cheered incessantly. Nakano has a nungchuck (Mikey’s weapon on TMNT) and beats the hell out of her with it which doesn’t get a DQ somehow.
Ok so the winner gets to destroy the other person’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. I didn’t know HHH was in WCW at this point. Heenan still has his pro-Japan tendencies. Nakano goes for a Scorpion but stops halfway so it’s like the old submission hold Edge used around 2002 but she hooks her arms under Madusa’s and pulls them up. DAMN that looks painful.
We get about 100 near falls but on the last one, a German Suplex by Nakano, the referee slaps the mat for three but Madusa gets her shoulder up which the referee calls. In essence he couldn’t stop his hand from coming down. Makes sense. Anyway, Sonny grabs the sledgehammer and beats up Madusa’s bike, which somehow gets a DQ. Uh….sure. Madusa breaks Nakano’s bike for good measure. Tony is confused as hell, and I mean even moreso than usual. He thinks there was a pin or something but whatever.
Rating: C-. This was exciting at the end with all of the near falls but Heenan’s comedy actually hurt things here. Ok apparently Nakano got pinned in that? They really went with that ending? Yeah I originally had this as a B-. That gets it a big slap in the face as that’s just freaking stupid.
Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit
This works. Jimmy Hart is with Malenko. Now there’s an odd combination. Liz is in leather. This WORKS. Even Woman looks good. Dusty says Benoit is coming out with two devilish women and he’s talking about Woman and Liz. Wow I thought you meant the two flies on his head. So Malenko is the hired gun of the Dungeon apparently to get Benoit out of the way in the endless Dungeon vs. Horsemen feud.
I would tell you they start with some technical stuff but I figured that was obvious. That goes away soon and we’re in straight physical stuff here with Benoit being in control less than Malenko. Dusty talks about the women at ringside which makes sense as he says Dean has to watch out for them. Ok, that’s fine. Tony uses this to talk about Konnan who isn’t on the main card tonight. Benoit takes over and just beats Dean up a lot.
NOW we hit the technical stuff and the pinfall reversals that you knew were coming. DAMN these guys are crisp as hell. That was very impressive. Seriously did you expect anything else? Benoit does the short arm scissors lift that Davey Boy Smith was so famous for doing to Shawn Michaels, showing that it’s more of a leverage thing than power. Tony says these two are the wrestlers of the new century for WCW.
That’s just amazing to hear knowing what’s coming. Tony tries really hard to not insult bikers, which makes him all the more insulting. Heenan talks about how awesome the midcard is and my mind continues to be blown over how WCW managed to fuck everything up with the talent they had. Malenko gets a jumping tombstone as I’m trying to figure out who is face and who is heel here.
That was the issue with the NWO: EVERYONE became at least half face. That’s fine in some cases, but for others it just didn’t work at all as there are some people that you just don’t want to cheer. It’s fine if you have people that are never associated with the NWO angle, but EVERYONE was. That can’t work and it didn’t at all. Damn these two are physical. Heenan plugs the TV shows which you likely needed to watch in order to see this show. Brilliant indeed Bobby.
Benoit hooks the Liontamer before it’s called that. Benoit busts out a dive over the ropes as the fans are DEAD. That’s in no way the problem of the wrestlers either as this has been a great match. This is the problem with having non-fans, who we now go to a wide shot of, being in attendance as they’ll cheer Hogan. I’d bet on it. Dusty talks about how tired they are and points out that he’s talking about the guys in the ring.
Damn where would I be without the Dream? Benoit hits a nice powerbomb which he should have used more often. We hit a minute to go, which means this match had a 22 minute time limit. And there’s the draw. Actually scratch that as we’re getting a 5 minute overtime. SWEET. The fans boo the HELL out of this. Yeah screw this incredible match that has two guys busting their asses for YOUR entertainment at a show you’re not even paying to see.
I guess because they’re not 6’8 and don’t weigh 300lbs they’re not worth watching. One person shouts to get this shit out of the ring. I didn’t know fans like that could get in the ring in the first place. Also, don’t call yourself shit. It’s not nice. Benoit is clearly pissed off at the fans and I can’t blame him a bit. Benoit hooks the Cloverleaf on Malenko to be evil. Benoit goes for the knee and Dean is in trouble. Fans continue to be dead for this.
We have a minute to go and Benoit is dominating. Dean gets a rollup at 3 seconds left for two. WE GET ANOTHER OVERTIME BABY! We’ve gotten 25 minutes of Benoit vs. Malenko….and you can’t hear Dusty over the fans booing. I’ll spare the rant for the rating.
Benoit hits his finisher, the Dragon Suplex (Full Nelson into a suplex) for two as the Crossface didn’t exist yet for him. Malenko gets the Cloverleaf but as Benoit is almost in the ropes he shifts into an STF. And then Woman goes for Malenko and Benoit hooks a rollup to end it. Damn good match.
Rating: A-. This was great stuff but the ending hurt it a lot. These two had mad chemistry together and this was no exception. Giving them nearly half an hour is fine as they looked like they had been out there for about 5 minutes at the end. It’s no wonder that they were such sought after guys by WWF. However, there was one reason why this match was hurt, which brings me to this.
This match sums up WCW’s demise in a nutshell. Everything they wound up doing wrong to just die is summed up right here. To begin with, they’re making NO gate money for this show. The fans can come and go as they please. In other words, with five thousand people here at say 20 dollars a person, that’s 100,000 dollars they’re just not getting, and that’s being conservative with it.
We’ll also ignore any potential money from parking, concessions and likely merchandise as there is no indication of anyone wearing anything other than leather out there that I can see. The reason we’re in Sturgis, South Dakota of all places and having a wrestling show at a biker rally you ask? The only answer I can find anywhere is that Eric Bischoff likes motorcycles. Seriously, THAT’S why we’re here.
If that’s not enough reason, as soon as Bischoff was out of power, this show was canceled. They came here FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. But wait, remember that there was a line in there about these two being the wrestlers of the century for WCW. Well since these four PPVs were around the end of the century, one could assume that they would have moved closer and closer to the main events right?
Let’s see. Benoit’s position on the card over these four shows: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, Off the card, 5th out of 9. Malenko: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, 7th out of 9 (as a referee and not a wrestler), 3rd of 9. On the other hand, let’s compare these guys to Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash. Nash: Next to last, next to last, next to last, main event. Hogan: Main event all four years. But remember that Hogan and Nash were DRAWS BABY!
Yeah the fans are going to pay to see them….except at this show because WCW didn’t get any ticket money here but pay no attention to that. Keep in mind that the fans will boo these two but cheer Hogan. Why do I have an image of Hogan talking to the higher ups and saying well they cheered me and booed those guys. What more proof do you need that I should be on top of the card?
The problem is these fans are all drunken bikers that likely never even watch the show. Yeah, coming from a damn biker rally really looks cutting edge doesn’t it? I’m sure this got away completely from the wrestling fans are hicks theory. It was an amazing match, but it’s a microcosm of the things that killed the biggest wrestling company in the world.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat
Heat come in with the belts. They also get booed out of the place. Well why shouldn’t they? I mean they’re BLACK! Given the reaction of the crowd and a bit of what’s being shouted at them and the lack of appreciation for great wrestling seen a few minutes ago, what other possible conclusions can you come to? I’ve always liked Booker T/Harlem Heat’s theme music. It just works. Dusty says he’d never go NWO. Pay no attention to the lying blob.
Bobby says Dusty was the biggest star in the business. That’s just amusing. Actually no it’s not. That’s just saddening. Heat get booed out of the building. Ok we get it you guys can rev your engines. Bischoff, I freaking hate you. Scott beats the hell out of the heels as apparently the match was going for awhile but they were just standing around. Sure why not. ALL Steiners at this point.
We get a Hank Williams Jr. line (he sings the Monday Night Football theme) and look at Parker and Sherri a lot. Heenan says no one has left this area. That’s just amusing. The bikers are driving me insane. Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown which is kind of funny. Heenan is sounding DRUNK all of a sudden. Well if I had to look at Tony and Dusty I’d likely hoist a few as well.
Stevie hooks a chinlock on Rick and Sherri screams at the top of her lungs: BREAK HIS NECK! Well at least he’s direct. I love that move Rick does where he catches a leapfrog into kind of a powerslam/powerbomb move. That’s just awesome looking for some reason. Rick gets knocked to the floor and it’s all Harlem Heat here. Heenan is BOMBED. You can hear what sounds like a beer can being opened during a lull in the commentary as the sun is going down.
Dusty gets an iffy transition by saying the sun will not set on WCW tonight. I’ll give him that one. Heenan can’t tell the Steiners apart. Yeah he’s fine. Hey let’s rev our engines even though nothing of note is happening. Booker misses an elbow and Spinaroonis up for a Harlem Side Kick without missing a beat. Very nice one there.
Dusty rambles a lot. The leather is starting to rot his brain I guess. This is the Scott Steiner that could still pop his hips to throw a damn suplex. Parker throws powder which misses but he drills Scott with the cane for the pin and a chorus of boos. Heenan speaks for the first time in like 3 minutes by saying he got him.
Rating: D+. Heenan was the highlight here as he’s just DRUNK as hell. The match was nothing special to put it mildly. The tag division would become dominated by the Outsiders in like two months so…enjoy this while you can I guess. WAY too long here though as this nearly got twenty minutes.
US Title: Ric Flair vs. Eddie Guerrero
Flair has the belt here but would have to vacate it soon due to a shoulder injury. Heenan begins sucking Flair’s dick before the match even begins. Flair was 47 here but still looks like he’s in great shape. That’s his cardio stuff coming in again. Damn Woman looks good. They actually botch some stuff with Flair possibly hurting his wrist. That’s not something you see that often. Hey did you know we had a big crowd here?
I didn’t think the big shot we gave you every 8 seconds was enough proof. This has been a chop/slug fest so far which is about par for the course I guess. I think some of the lights went out as it’s getting harder to see. Surprisingly the bikers are cheering for Eddie more than anyone else. That’s just odd indeed. Heenan says no one has sat down. He must have counted them all. Best bet for him would be to take some doughnuts out there to give them for their sitting preferences. Hell it’s what I’d do.
Heenan likes Guerrero I think which isn’t something you hear that often from him. Heenan keeps talking about the gams on the girls (legs). Dusty of course thinks he says hams and would rather talk about them. Make your own jokes. Dusty offers some solid insight by talking about all his matches with Flair. That’s something he’s valuable for if nothing else.
He may be fat and he may be old and he may be annoying, but he was right there in the 80s and never just sat around and collected a paycheck. The guy was enthusiastic so I can’t take that away from him. Eddie gets a figure four on Flair to really be original. Flair is shaking his head yes for some reason but since that’s not the finish it doesn’t count I guess. Eddie struts which is kind of funny. He was a showman if nothing else.
Flair gets slammed off the top. At least some things never change. And let’s see Flair’s ass. I think I’ve seen that more than his face over the years as the announcers make ass jokes. The Frog Splash hits and Eddie conveniently hurts his knee. Figure Four is hooked by Flair and Eddie….actually gets pinned. That’s not something you see every day to put it mildly.
Rating: B-. Not bad here but kind of a pointless match. Still though Flair could bring it still at this point so having a fifteen minute match with Eddie was good for him at this point. Also, Eddie would be the next champion after Flair had to vacate the belt due to a shoulder injury. Pretty decent match with a different ending.
Giant says he’s not afraid of Hogan and talks about betrayal. He’s gotten FAR better on the mic in about 10 months which is a great sign. It’s still corny, but it’s definitely passable. Damn have we had any other promos tonight?
Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger
Well here’s your first half of the main event. They actually haven’t talked much about these matches tonight so that’s a perk. Oh and there’s supposed to be another member announced tonight. So far it’s still the original three. Sting and Luger get more pyro than should be humanly allowed for a single team. Tony makes an interesting point, likely his last ever, by saying Luger never got a chance to really compete against Hall and Nash. That’s very true.
Heenan says that no one cares who wins or loses. Well ok then. They point out the total lack of Savage here which I was thinking about before this match. Hall and Luger start us off and it’s all Hall so far. Now THIS Hall I could buy as this great worker that everyone heralds him as. Again we see the problem with this crowd as the mega heels get NOTHING as far as heat goes while the faces get the same.
Luger does the Pec Dance and Nash wants Sting. And we immediately see the problem that would dominate the company for over a year: the NWO is dominating. That was the problem: they never lost at all. I get that they need to look dominant early so this is fine. Around the new year or even Halloween though the WCW guys needed to start scoring some major wins.
It wouldn’t be for many months beyond that for such a thing to happen though. Sting takes Snake Eyes and it’s all Nash who gets cheers of course. Heenan insists no one has left. Sure why not. Heenan accidently implies he wants the NWO to win. How in the world did he never jump? He goes on a small rant about how the NWO has a mastermind. Uh wasn’t that Hogan? This has been ALL Outsiders and Heenan is cheering for Hall.
He was hilarious when he wasn’t even trying to be. Razor’s Edge is blocked and Sting makes his hot tag. He had charisma if nothing else. Luger just beats the hell out of everybody and signals for the Rack on Hall as Nash is in the Scorpion on the floor. We then get the beginning of an angle that went on FOREVER as Patrick gets kicked in the face by Hall and “accidently” lands on Luger’s leg and fast counts Luger. If he could have done that at Starrcade 97 WCW could have stayed in business.
Rating: C+. The Outsiders dominating was just boring. You need to let the faces get something in but of course they didn’t because that doesn’t make the NWO look strong. Even still though this was at least ok and made sense given the circumstances. Now if only they had changed the formula.
WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan
The NWO music plays prematurely for a bit before the intros start. Oh there goes the damn revving again. Hogan of course gets a face pop. Giant’s name graphic is in green for no apparent reason. Maybe he’ll think it’s a vegetable so he’ll eat it or something. Tony says this will be a battle of epic proportions but says he doesn’t want to overstate it. EVERYONE cheers for Hogan, more or less making this look like a joke.
But hey, Bischoff got to ride his motorcycle at the biggest rally in the world! Hogan stalls of course. He’s like a bad car at times. Heenan more or less laughs as he points out how he’s told everyone about Hogan for years, which is absolutely true. Ah there’s a bell. Hogan’s punches do nothing so he runs. Tony says Giant should win this in like a minute. That’s his advice. Yeah just go beat the most successful wrestler ever in a minute after the biggest heel turn ever. Sure why not.
Hogan tries to yell at the fans and it doesn’t work at all since they cheer him louder. Hogan stalls more than a bad writer. We’re nearly three minutes in here and we’ve had about 30 seconds of actual contact combined, much of which was from punching. Heenan rambles about Andre as Jimmy is SCREAMING into the Megaphone. The world’s longest test of strength puts Hogan down for a bit.
Hogan works on the arm to mess with our minds for a bit. Oh this is going to make my head hurt as we’ve been in an arm lock for like a minute now. This isn’t a fifteen minute match and we’ve spent almost ten percent of the whole thing in rest holds already. That’s ten percent of the whole thing, not what we’ve seen so far. Also, Hogan works the left arm which doesn’t stop any of Giant’s stuff.
To change things up, Giant goes for an arm lock of his own. That lasts all of 8 seconds and Giant is in another hold. Good night this is boring. Giant headbutts Hogan to the floor and we waste MORE time. Tony: what happens if Hogan wins the title? Dusty: he becomes WCW World Heavyweight Champion. I love lines like that. Tony follows that up by saying Hogan is bad and that he’s not good. You can tell how bored they are here.
Dusty mentions Rey Mysterio, marking the closest he’ll ever get to a WCW PPV main event. Giant GIANTS UP in a cute segment. He would trump that at I think Backlash 2000 though with the full on parody that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in wrestling. There goes the strap and here’s Hall. And here’s Nash.
Dusty brings up a great point: WHERE IS WCW? It took like 8 seconds for the Outsiders to be here and no WCW guys come out. Giant knocks them both out but a belt shot puts him down for the title. Now keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. Hogan would lose it a week before the next Sturgis PPV.
Rating: F. This was a 14 minute match and about 11 of that was nothing more than just resting and stalling. Just a horrific match if there has ever been one for a title change. I was so bored with it and am just glad it’s over. At least the title change happened and I don’t think anyone is surprised as he’s the leader of the heel stable. Wow this was a bad match though.
And here’s Brutus Beefcake with a big old cake. It’s Hogan’s birthday! Giant hasn’t moved in two minutes now. Hogan says the Booty Man has joined the NWO and cue the beatdown in a few seconds. Hall is holding the world title. That’s a strange visual. Hogan is 43 today in case you were wondering.
Apparent we’re getting Flair vs. Hogan at Clash of the Champions next week. Hogan talks about how Beefcake is his best friend and there’s your beatdown. Oh and Giant has now been out cold for over five minutes straight. Then in a famous moment the belt is spraypainted and we end the show with Giant being completely unconscious for 8 minutes straight from a single belt shot.
Overall Rating: B. Well we have one bad match but it’s historic. What more can you ask for with that? Other than that just about everything is pretty good here with one very good match. The crowd is freaking idiotic though as is the show in general. This was a decent show despite everything it had going against it.
Thankfully we’re going back to the arena stuff for Fall Brawl which should be solid. At least the main event is. Not bad at all here though as we have a bunch of at least decent matches and one great one plus some historical stuff. Can’t ask for much more than that.
Date: August 10, 1996
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
So it’s a Saturday night in South Dakota. That’s not something you hear that often, but here we are with the first PPV in the NWO Era. This is one of WCW’s weirder traditions that would up being called Road Wild due to Harley Davidson complaining about the name so in essence this is a one off show before next year if that makes sense. The main event is Giant vs. Hogan for the title. Any guesses there? Other than that this is a fairly dull card but this is the dawning of a new era, so let’s get to it.
We get a graphic saying the opinions of the NWO do not reflect that of Turner. That’s saying a lot.
Oh also since this is held at a biker rally, there was no money brought in as there could be no tickets sold. Brilliant right?
I’ve never gotten the point of this, but the scenery actually is gorgeous. I was amazed by it when I was there as a kid.
Dusty and Tony are dressed like bikers. When I say bikers, I mean they look like they’re homosexual lovers. Not saying they look stupid (which they do), but that’s the first idea you would get when you saw them too.
The fans really aren’t likely to be wrestling fans so expect some odd responses.
Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio
They of course mess up and call him Ultimate Dragon. Tenay comes in to save the biker boys for this one. Tony and Dusty are in leather jackets, dew rags and bad sunglasses with leather pants. You figure out why I said what I said earlier. After both guys come out, Tony says good night. They had aired everything up until that point on WCW Saturday Night.
That’s a brilliant idea actually to hook in a few extra viewers if it worked. Rey is champion here, having won it like a month or so ago. Dragon is 29 here and Rey is 21. I never would have guessed Dragon was that old. We hear about the lawn dart moment which scared the hell out of me back in the day as I was a big Rey fan. The fans chant USA for a guy based out of Mexico against a guy based out of Japan. Brillaint.
These two are freaking fast. Dusty gets the name of a kick right and FREAKS over it. That was kind of amusing. Even Sonny Onoo is dressed as a biker. This is creepy. Great dropkick to the chest by Dragon. Oh and Dragon is heel. Dragon busts out a Liger Bomb but doesn’t cover or anything stupid like that. We hear about Dragon’s run in the J Crown tournament where he beat Liger in 2 and a half minutes.
Also we hear of Liger having a brain tumor. He would recover which is always good to hear. The ring here is up on a platform that’s probably two and a half feet high and then it’s just the ground. Rey dives over the top and lands on Dragon on the ground. Looked AMAZING to put it mildly.
Rey was just fun to watch. That’s the only way to put it. They both just start busting out the high spots which the crowd love of course because you don’t need backstory for stuff like this. Rey goes for a rana from the top but it’s blocked so he does it again and gets the pin. I kind of like that.
Rating: B. For an opener, this was about as good as you were going to get it. The crowd is wide awake now as that’s the kind of match that you don’t need to have much stuff explained to you to have it work. High spots are the best choice for opening a show and this was no exception.
The announcers pretend to know something about motorcycles.
Scott Norton vs. Ice Train
This is a grudge match allegedly. They used to be Fire and Ice and now they’re mad at each other. I guess they’re fighting over who forgot to rewind Forrest Gump since they had to pay a fine for it at Blockbuster. We immediately start talking about the world title match because that’s light years more interesting than this bullshit. Ice Train’s arm is taped up due to the Giant.
A smart wrestler would work on it. Norton is apparently a smart wrestler. He beats the living crap out of Train’s arm and head. For some reason I used to like Ice Train a lot and I have no idea why. This is all just big power moves so far and it’s not very good. The arm work is smart if nothing else so I’ll give him credit for that. They used to be an effective team apparently. That’s just amusing. Train gets a powerslam and some clotheslines but that’s about it. An armbar ends it with Norton winning.
Rating: D. This was pure filler and nothing more. I’ll give the usual boring Norton credit for the psychology though as some people would probably have worked on the leg of all things while Train’s arm was all taped up. At least this made sense and ended something I suppose so I’ll give it credit for that.
We recap a Flair interview from Saturday where he talked about the NWO injuring Anderson which I think was how they wrote him off for his injuries which he never came back from. He had Eddie Guerrero tonight though so this didn’t make a ton of sense but it’s not exactly bad.
Madusa vs. Bull Nakano
This is a Battle of the Bikes where I think the winner gets to break the loser’s motorcycle. What? Don’t you have one of those lying around? Nakano is the chick with the hair that stands up. These two had some great matches in WWF and Japan so I’m not complaining here. Madusa is of course cheered incessantly. Nakano has a nungchuck (Mikey’s weapon on TMNT) and beats the hell out of her with it which doesn’t get a DQ somehow.
Ok so the winner gets to destroy the other person’s motorcycle with a sledgehammer. I didn’t know HHH was in WCW at this point. Heenan still has his pro-Japan tendencies. Nakano goes for a Scorpion but stops halfway so it’s like the old submission hold Edge used around 2002 but she hooks her arms under Madusa’s and pulls them up. DAMN that looks painful.
We get about 100 near falls but on the last one, a German Suplex by Nakano, the referee slaps the mat for three but Madusa gets her shoulder up which the referee calls. In essence he couldn’t stop his hand from coming down. Makes sense. Anyway, Sonny grabs the sledgehammer and beats up Madusa’s bike, which somehow gets a DQ. Uh….sure. Madusa breaks Nakano’s bike for good measure. Tony is confused as hell, and I mean even moreso than usual. He thinks there was a pin or something but whatever.
Rating: C-. This was exciting at the end with all of the near falls but Heenan’s comedy actually hurt things here. Ok apparently Nakano got pinned in that? They really went with that ending? Yeah I originally had this as a B-. That gets it a big slap in the face as that’s just freaking stupid.
Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit
This works. Jimmy Hart is with Malenko. Now there’s an odd combination. Liz is in leather. This WORKS. Even Woman looks good. Dusty says Benoit is coming out with two devilish women and he’s talking about Woman and Liz. Wow I thought you meant the two flies on his head. So Malenko is the hired gun of the Dungeon apparently to get Benoit out of the way in the endless Dungeon vs. Horsemen feud.
I would tell you they start with some technical stuff but I figured that was obvious. That goes away soon and we’re in straight physical stuff here with Benoit being in control less than Malenko. Dusty talks about the women at ringside which makes sense as he says Dean has to watch out for them. Ok, that’s fine. Tony uses this to talk about Konnan who isn’t on the main card tonight. Benoit takes over and just beats Dean up a lot.
NOW we hit the technical stuff and the pinfall reversals that you knew were coming. DAMN these guys are crisp as hell. That was very impressive. Seriously did you expect anything else? Benoit does the short arm scissors lift that Davey Boy Smith was so famous for doing to Shawn Michaels, showing that it’s more of a leverage thing than power. Tony says these two are the wrestlers of the new century for WCW.
That’s just amazing to hear knowing what’s coming. Tony tries really hard to not insult bikers, which makes him all the more insulting. Heenan talks about how awesome the midcard is and my mind continues to be blown over how WCW managed to fuck everything up with the talent they had. Malenko gets a jumping tombstone as I’m trying to figure out who is face and who is heel here.
That was the issue with the NWO: EVERYONE became at least half face. That’s fine in some cases, but for others it just didn’t work at all as there are some people that you just don’t want to cheer. It’s fine if you have people that are never associated with the NWO angle, but EVERYONE was. That can’t work and it didn’t at all. Damn these two are physical. Heenan plugs the TV shows which you likely needed to watch in order to see this show. Brilliant indeed Bobby.
Benoit hooks the Liontamer before it’s called that. Benoit busts out a dive over the ropes as the fans are DEAD. That’s in no way the problem of the wrestlers either as this has been a great match. This is the problem with having non-fans, who we now go to a wide shot of, being in attendance as they’ll cheer Hogan. I’d bet on it. Dusty talks about how tired they are and points out that he’s talking about the guys in the ring.
Damn where would I be without the Dream? Benoit hits a nice powerbomb which he should have used more often. We hit a minute to go, which means this match had a 22 minute time limit. And there’s the draw. Actually scratch that as we’re getting a 5 minute overtime. SWEET. The fans boo the HELL out of this. Yeah screw this incredible match that has two guys busting their asses for YOUR entertainment at a show you’re not even paying to see.
I guess because they’re not 6’8 and don’t weigh 300lbs they’re not worth watching. One person shouts to get this shit out of the ring. I didn’t know fans like that could get in the ring in the first place. Also, don’t call yourself shit. It’s not nice. Benoit is clearly pissed off at the fans and I can’t blame him a bit. Benoit hooks the Cloverleaf on Malenko to be evil. Benoit goes for the knee and Dean is in trouble. Fans continue to be dead for this.
We have a minute to go and Benoit is dominating. Dean gets a rollup at 3 seconds left for two. WE GET ANOTHER OVERTIME BABY! We’ve gotten 25 minutes of Benoit vs. Malenko….and you can’t hear Dusty over the fans booing. I’ll spare the rant for the rating.
Benoit hits his finisher, the Dragon Suplex (Full Nelson into a suplex) for two as the Crossface didn’t exist yet for him. Malenko gets the Cloverleaf but as Benoit is almost in the ropes he shifts into an STF. And then Woman goes for Malenko and Benoit hooks a rollup to end it. Damn good match.
Rating: A-. This was great stuff but the ending hurt it a lot. These two had mad chemistry together and this was no exception. Giving them nearly half an hour is fine as they looked like they had been out there for about 5 minutes at the end. It’s no wonder that they were such sought after guys by WWF. However, there was one reason why this match was hurt, which brings me to this.
This match sums up WCW’s demise in a nutshell. Everything they wound up doing wrong to just die is summed up right here. To begin with, they’re making NO gate money for this show. The fans can come and go as they please. In other words, with five thousand people here at say 20 dollars a person, that’s 100,000 dollars they’re just not getting, and that’s being conservative with it.
We’ll also ignore any potential money from parking, concessions and likely merchandise as there is no indication of anyone wearing anything other than leather out there that I can see. The reason we’re in Sturgis, South Dakota of all places and having a wrestling show at a biker rally you ask? The only answer I can find anywhere is that Eric Bischoff likes motorcycles. Seriously, THAT’S why we’re here.
If that’s not enough reason, as soon as Bischoff was out of power, this show was canceled. They came here FOUR STRAIGHT YEARS. But wait, remember that there was a line in there about these two being the wrestlers of the century for WCW. Well since these four PPVs were around the end of the century, one could assume that they would have moved closer and closer to the main events right?
Let’s see. Benoit’s position on the card over these four shows: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, Off the card, 5th out of 9. Malenko: 4th out of 8, 3rd out of 9, 7th out of 9 (as a referee and not a wrestler), 3rd of 9. On the other hand, let’s compare these guys to Hulk Hogan and Kevin Nash. Nash: Next to last, next to last, next to last, main event. Hogan: Main event all four years. But remember that Hogan and Nash were DRAWS BABY!
Yeah the fans are going to pay to see them….except at this show because WCW didn’t get any ticket money here but pay no attention to that. Keep in mind that the fans will boo these two but cheer Hogan. Why do I have an image of Hogan talking to the higher ups and saying well they cheered me and booed those guys. What more proof do you need that I should be on top of the card?
The problem is these fans are all drunken bikers that likely never even watch the show. Yeah, coming from a damn biker rally really looks cutting edge doesn’t it? I’m sure this got away completely from the wrestling fans are hicks theory. It was an amazing match, but it’s a microcosm of the things that killed the biggest wrestling company in the world.
Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat
Heat come in with the belts. They also get booed out of the place. Well why shouldn’t they? I mean they’re BLACK! Given the reaction of the crowd and a bit of what’s being shouted at them and the lack of appreciation for great wrestling seen a few minutes ago, what other possible conclusions can you come to? I’ve always liked Booker T/Harlem Heat’s theme music. It just works. Dusty says he’d never go NWO. Pay no attention to the lying blob.
Bobby says Dusty was the biggest star in the business. That’s just amusing. Actually no it’s not. That’s just saddening. Heat get booed out of the building. Ok we get it you guys can rev your engines. Bischoff, I freaking hate you. Scott beats the hell out of the heels as apparently the match was going for awhile but they were just standing around. Sure why not. ALL Steiners at this point.
We get a Hank Williams Jr. line (he sings the Monday Night Football theme) and look at Parker and Sherri a lot. Heenan says no one has left this area. That’s just amusing. The bikers are driving me insane. Sherri is shouting about having a nervous breakdown which is kind of funny. Heenan is sounding DRUNK all of a sudden. Well if I had to look at Tony and Dusty I’d likely hoist a few as well.
Stevie hooks a chinlock on Rick and Sherri screams at the top of her lungs: BREAK HIS NECK! Well at least he’s direct. I love that move Rick does where he catches a leapfrog into kind of a powerslam/powerbomb move. That’s just awesome looking for some reason. Rick gets knocked to the floor and it’s all Harlem Heat here. Heenan is BOMBED. You can hear what sounds like a beer can being opened during a lull in the commentary as the sun is going down.
Dusty gets an iffy transition by saying the sun will not set on WCW tonight. I’ll give him that one. Heenan can’t tell the Steiners apart. Yeah he’s fine. Hey let’s rev our engines even though nothing of note is happening. Booker misses an elbow and Spinaroonis up for a Harlem Side Kick without missing a beat. Very nice one there.
Dusty rambles a lot. The leather is starting to rot his brain I guess. This is the Scott Steiner that could still pop his hips to throw a damn suplex. Parker throws powder which misses but he drills Scott with the cane for the pin and a chorus of boos. Heenan speaks for the first time in like 3 minutes by saying he got him.
Rating: D+. Heenan was the highlight here as he’s just DRUNK as hell. The match was nothing special to put it mildly. The tag division would become dominated by the Outsiders in like two months so…enjoy this while you can I guess. WAY too long here though as this nearly got twenty minutes.
US Title: Ric Flair vs. Eddie Guerrero
Flair has the belt here but would have to vacate it soon due to a shoulder injury. Heenan begins sucking Flair’s dick before the match even begins. Flair was 47 here but still looks like he’s in great shape. That’s his cardio stuff coming in again. Damn Woman looks good. They actually botch some stuff with Flair possibly hurting his wrist. That’s not something you see that often. Hey did you know we had a big crowd here?
I didn’t think the big shot we gave you every 8 seconds was enough proof. This has been a chop/slug fest so far which is about par for the course I guess. I think some of the lights went out as it’s getting harder to see. Surprisingly the bikers are cheering for Eddie more than anyone else. That’s just odd indeed. Heenan says no one has sat down. He must have counted them all. Best bet for him would be to take some doughnuts out there to give them for their sitting preferences. Hell it’s what I’d do.
Heenan likes Guerrero I think which isn’t something you hear that often from him. Heenan keeps talking about the gams on the girls (legs). Dusty of course thinks he says hams and would rather talk about them. Make your own jokes. Dusty offers some solid insight by talking about all his matches with Flair. That’s something he’s valuable for if nothing else.
He may be fat and he may be old and he may be annoying, but he was right there in the 80s and never just sat around and collected a paycheck. The guy was enthusiastic so I can’t take that away from him. Eddie gets a figure four on Flair to really be original. Flair is shaking his head yes for some reason but since that’s not the finish it doesn’t count I guess. Eddie struts which is kind of funny. He was a showman if nothing else.
Flair gets slammed off the top. At least some things never change. And let’s see Flair’s ass. I think I’ve seen that more than his face over the years as the announcers make ass jokes. The Frog Splash hits and Eddie conveniently hurts his knee. Figure Four is hooked by Flair and Eddie….actually gets pinned. That’s not something you see every day to put it mildly.
Rating: B-. Not bad here but kind of a pointless match. Still though Flair could bring it still at this point so having a fifteen minute match with Eddie was good for him at this point. Also, Eddie would be the next champion after Flair had to vacate the belt due to a shoulder injury. Pretty decent match with a different ending.
Giant says he’s not afraid of Hogan and talks about betrayal. He’s gotten FAR better on the mic in about 10 months which is a great sign. It’s still corny, but it’s definitely passable. Damn have we had any other promos tonight?
Outsiders vs. Sting/Lex Luger
Well here’s your first half of the main event. They actually haven’t talked much about these matches tonight so that’s a perk. Oh and there’s supposed to be another member announced tonight. So far it’s still the original three. Sting and Luger get more pyro than should be humanly allowed for a single team. Tony makes an interesting point, likely his last ever, by saying Luger never got a chance to really compete against Hall and Nash. That’s very true.
Heenan says that no one cares who wins or loses. Well ok then. They point out the total lack of Savage here which I was thinking about before this match. Hall and Luger start us off and it’s all Hall so far. Now THIS Hall I could buy as this great worker that everyone heralds him as. Again we see the problem with this crowd as the mega heels get NOTHING as far as heat goes while the faces get the same.
Luger does the Pec Dance and Nash wants Sting. And we immediately see the problem that would dominate the company for over a year: the NWO is dominating. That was the problem: they never lost at all. I get that they need to look dominant early so this is fine. Around the new year or even Halloween though the WCW guys needed to start scoring some major wins.
It wouldn’t be for many months beyond that for such a thing to happen though. Sting takes Snake Eyes and it’s all Nash who gets cheers of course. Heenan insists no one has left. Sure why not. Heenan accidently implies he wants the NWO to win. How in the world did he never jump? He goes on a small rant about how the NWO has a mastermind. Uh wasn’t that Hogan? This has been ALL Outsiders and Heenan is cheering for Hall.
He was hilarious when he wasn’t even trying to be. Razor’s Edge is blocked and Sting makes his hot tag. He had charisma if nothing else. Luger just beats the hell out of everybody and signals for the Rack on Hall as Nash is in the Scorpion on the floor. We then get the beginning of an angle that went on FOREVER as Patrick gets kicked in the face by Hall and “accidently” lands on Luger’s leg and fast counts Luger. If he could have done that at Starrcade 97 WCW could have stayed in business.
Rating: C+. The Outsiders dominating was just boring. You need to let the faces get something in but of course they didn’t because that doesn’t make the NWO look strong. Even still though this was at least ok and made sense given the circumstances. Now if only they had changed the formula.
WCW World Title: The Giant vs. Hollywood Hulk Hogan
The NWO music plays prematurely for a bit before the intros start. Oh there goes the damn revving again. Hogan of course gets a face pop. Giant’s name graphic is in green for no apparent reason. Maybe he’ll think it’s a vegetable so he’ll eat it or something. Tony says this will be a battle of epic proportions but says he doesn’t want to overstate it. EVERYONE cheers for Hogan, more or less making this look like a joke.
But hey, Bischoff got to ride his motorcycle at the biggest rally in the world! Hogan stalls of course. He’s like a bad car at times. Heenan more or less laughs as he points out how he’s told everyone about Hogan for years, which is absolutely true. Ah there’s a bell. Hogan’s punches do nothing so he runs. Tony says Giant should win this in like a minute. That’s his advice. Yeah just go beat the most successful wrestler ever in a minute after the biggest heel turn ever. Sure why not.
Hogan tries to yell at the fans and it doesn’t work at all since they cheer him louder. Hogan stalls more than a bad writer. We’re nearly three minutes in here and we’ve had about 30 seconds of actual contact combined, much of which was from punching. Heenan rambles about Andre as Jimmy is SCREAMING into the Megaphone. The world’s longest test of strength puts Hogan down for a bit.
Hogan works on the arm to mess with our minds for a bit. Oh this is going to make my head hurt as we’ve been in an arm lock for like a minute now. This isn’t a fifteen minute match and we’ve spent almost ten percent of the whole thing in rest holds already. That’s ten percent of the whole thing, not what we’ve seen so far. Also, Hogan works the left arm which doesn’t stop any of Giant’s stuff.
To change things up, Giant goes for an arm lock of his own. That lasts all of 8 seconds and Giant is in another hold. Good night this is boring. Giant headbutts Hogan to the floor and we waste MORE time. Tony: what happens if Hogan wins the title? Dusty: he becomes WCW World Heavyweight Champion. I love lines like that. Tony follows that up by saying Hogan is bad and that he’s not good. You can tell how bored they are here.
Dusty mentions Rey Mysterio, marking the closest he’ll ever get to a WCW PPV main event. Giant GIANTS UP in a cute segment. He would trump that at I think Backlash 2000 though with the full on parody that is one of the funniest things I have ever seen in wrestling. There goes the strap and here’s Hall. And here’s Nash.
Dusty brings up a great point: WHERE IS WCW? It took like 8 seconds for the Outsiders to be here and no WCW guys come out. Giant knocks them both out but a belt shot puts him down for the title. Now keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. Hogan would lose it a week before the next Sturgis PPV.
Rating: F. This was a 14 minute match and about 11 of that was nothing more than just resting and stalling. Just a horrific match if there has ever been one for a title change. I was so bored with it and am just glad it’s over. At least the title change happened and I don’t think anyone is surprised as he’s the leader of the heel stable. Wow this was a bad match though.
And here’s Brutus Beefcake with a big old cake. It’s Hogan’s birthday! Giant hasn’t moved in two minutes now. Hogan says the Booty Man has joined the NWO and cue the beatdown in a few seconds. Hall is holding the world title. That’s a strange visual. Hogan is 43 today in case you were wondering.
Apparent we’re getting Flair vs. Hogan at Clash of the Champions next week. Hogan talks about how Beefcake is his best friend and there’s your beatdown. Oh and Giant has now been out cold for over five minutes straight. Then in a famous moment the belt is spraypainted and we end the show with Giant being completely unconscious for 8 minutes straight from a single belt shot.
Overall Rating: B. Well we have one bad match but it’s historic. What more can you ask for with that? Other than that just about everything is pretty good here with one very good match. The crowd is freaking idiotic though as is the show in general. This was a decent show despite everything it had going against it.
Thankfully we’re going back to the arena stuff for Fall Brawl which should be solid. At least the main event is. Not bad at all here though as we have a bunch of at least decent matches and one great one plus some historical stuff. Can’t ask for much more than that.
