History of Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday with KB

[klunderbunker]

Welcome to a new series, albeit a shorter one. Back in 2004 there was an idea to try to kill two birds with one stone. First of all there was a new PPV night apparently, which had been done back in 91 and bombed but they’re doing it here too I guess. Also, the matches or stipulations are decided by the fans’ vote. After two years this would be moved to Sunday but we’ll get to that later. There’s not much else to say about this so let’s get to it.

Taboo Tuesday 2004
Date: October 19, 2004
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Well here we are. It’s Raw only here so of course HHH is world champion. His opponent tonight is one of the options: Benoit, Edge or HBK, with the losers getting a tag title shot. The other main event is Flair vs. Orton where it’s either a cage, submissions or falls count anywhere. Flair here goes 12 years between main eventing PPVs which is an impressive feat. Other than that this is a fairly weak time for the company as we’re waiting on Cena and Batista to break through the ceiling but that wouldn’t be for another 7 months or so. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the fans getting to pick things tonight and the wrestlers having next to no control of any of this. As Norcal and I argued forever, this should have always been a three hour Raw supershow instead of on PPV.

The arena is like EMPTY, with the upper half and even middle deck mostly tarped off.

Coach is MC tonight and we’re ready to go. We start with picking what the Divas will wear in the Fulfill Your Fantasy Battle Royal. They’re standing on a huge keyboard which is a nice touch. The options are nurses, French maids or schoolgirls.

Nurses – 17%
Maids – 30%
Schoolgirls – 53%

That’s for later though. The first match we’re going to see is for the IC Title. The winner gets Jericho and I’m not listing 15 people and 15 percentages. Ten of them are bottom of the card guys (Rodney Mack, Rosey etc). We’ll go with the top 3 instead. Coach lists off all 15 just to fill in time. Val Venis was supposed to be in this but was injured so Coach is in it instead.

Shelton Benjamin – 37%
Batista – 20%
Coach – 7%

According to Wiki, the next closest was Christian, but this was a total landslide.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Chris Jericho

This was just after Shelton had come to Raw and beaten HHH in three matches but got hurt. This is his big return. Jericho gets backdropped over the top and might have hurt his back. He was in a big funk at this point as he had no direction whatsoever. He also had the medium length hair and it looked horrible. Running enziguri gets two and the Canadian takes over.

He works on the back as there’s not a lot of direction to this at all. The crowd being painfully small isn’t helping much either, but that could have something to do with the show being on a Tuesday night. Both guys work on the others’ back with Jericho hitting a backbreaker and Benjamin hitting a top rope suplex. I love the Dragon Whip. Lawler suggests that if the bookers had anything to do with it then this match may never have happened.

Lionsault misses but he actually crashes on it in a thing I’m not used to doing. Shelton hits a nice diving clothesline off the top but the Stinger Splash misses. This is getting better but the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Lionsault hits this time but of course it only gets two. Jericho goes up but jumps into the T-Bone to give Shelton the title. Ross and Lawler seem to be the most excited though. So much for that idea. Is there anyone Jericho won’t put over? Shelton would hold the title until June which is the longest title reign since Rock in 97.

Rating: B-. Pretty good match here as Jericho wasn’t prepared for Shelton so he had to do his usual stuff which didn’t work because Shelton knew what to prepare for. The crowd is pretty weak here and it’s not a good sign for the rest of the show. This was a good push for Shelton, even though nothing really ever came of it as he has more untapped potential than anyone in a long time.

Edge says he should get the shot because it’s fair.

Benoit says he’s tired of HHH and Evolution and he’ll stop them.

Shawn says he’ll give whatever he has left if picked.

Benoit – 28%
Shawn – 39%
Edge – 33%

They announce Shawn as the winner before they show the results. This means Edge and Benoit vs. La Resistance too.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jazz vs. Nidia vs. Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly vs. Victoria vs. Stacy Keibler

This is the schoolgirl battle royal and yes Trish is defending the title in a battle royal. She’s pissed and a heel here. Jazz isn’t someone I want to see dressed like this. Why can’t Lillian be in this? I’ve never been sure if Nidia is hot or not. Gail looks good too. She never meant a damn thing after her debut though. Molly is growing her hair back after having it shaved at I think Mania. Victoria (Tara) looks great like this. Stacy is perfect for it with the legs.

It’s not over the top either. The crowd is more into this than the first match. Nidia’s top falls off and she gets knocked out. Jazz is hanging on to the bottom rope and Victoria accidently hits her with a baseball slide to put her out. Gail is out. There isn’t much to say here at all. Stacy gets the biggest pop of the night for doing a Nash leg choke on Victoria.

This is mainly just a way for Lawler to freak over underwear shots. Molly and Trish get rid of Victoria, leaving the two of them and Stacy. This is boring as all hell. Stacy is supposed to be the big face here and she makes a bit of a comeback but Molly puts her out easily. Trish is almost out earlier but holds on and sneaks up on Molly to put her out and retain.

Rating: D-. This was bad on all levels. I’ve never gotten the appeal of the schoolgirl thing and this was no exception. Nothing came from this at all but at least it was quick. It was boring as hell on top of that too so there we are. At least it’s over.

La Resistance says they don’t think it’s fair to have to fight a team they don’t know of until just now.

We recap Kane vs. Snitsky. The idea here is that Kane got his wife Lita pregnant and then he had a match with a guy named Snitsky who knocked Kane onto Lita and made her lose her baby. This is a weapon of choice match. The video also shows Kane in regular clothes, which is very weird. This also led to the it wasn’t my fault line from Kane.

The choices are chain, chair and pipe.

Lead Pipe – 29%
Chair – 30%
Chain – 41%

That’s very surprising as the pipe had been an important thing in the angle. Also….a chain?

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

Lita comes down and the chain is huge. It’s something you could have a strap match with if it was a strap. Lita is here and is just gorgeous. When her hair was straight she looked epic. Kane has control here which makes me think this sounds like a game show or something. Snitsky takes over and beats the hell out of him with the chain.

This is the only thing that Snitsky ever really meant which isn’t saying much. It was an ok angle but at the same time it never really went much of anywhere. It’s amazing to think that Kane is the World Heavyweight Champion at the moment. I’m glad to be able to say that too. Ross says that Kane is fighting for air. I wonder if Lita told him to come but he was already there.

Kane makes his comeback but walks into a sideslam. He pulls a Taker and sits up which is one of his signature moves now too. Snitsky is dominating but Lawler says that it’s even for some reason. This is going WAY too long here as we’re already at about ten minutes and there’s no sign of it ending anytime soon. Gene, which is a great name for him for some reason, grabs a chair and hits Kane in the throat with it, somehow not getting disqualified.

Three straight shots to the neck/throat with it and Kane is just about dead. Snitsky actually Pillmanizes Kane’s neck and throat which is a spot you don’t see that often. He starts spitting up “blood” in a good visual and the referee calls it. Snitsky wants a pin anyway and makes the referee count it. How did this guy never get a monster push? Oh that’s right: HHH didn’t want to lose the world title.

Rating: D. WAY too long here as it ran nearly 15 minutes which is the second longest match of the night. The dominance looked great but at the same time this needed to be cut in half for it to be an actual good match. The time is the real problem here along with a lack of the chain. I think they expected the chair to win which explained the ending. Snitsky looked great though.

Kane does a long stretcher job to leave. I don’t think this really led anywhere. Snitsky jumps him afterwards.

Edge bitches about getting a tag title shot which he’s held a ton of times.

Bischoff vs. his nephew Eugene is next with the loser having something done to them. We don’t find out the winner until after the match apparently.

Eric Bischoff vs. Eugene

Bischoff is Eugene’s uncle for your explanation. Eric uses the power of martial arts to start which makes sense to anyone who follows tournament karate, according to Tony Schiavone. He feigns injury and kicks Eugene in the head. It’s Hulk Up time and there’s an airplane spin. The big boot and legdrop ends this.

Rating: N/A. Damn Eugene was over at this point. Even I loved him.

Loser Wears a Dress 21%
Loser is the Winner’s Servant 20%
Loser is Shaved Bald 59%

Oh dear. This would be the end of Bischoff’s black hair. Coach tries to talk Eugene into accepting the servant thing for five minutes. And here’s Vince, apparently interested about something. Damn Nick Dinsmore played that character to perfection. Vince says that the crowd has spoken so the shaving is happening.

Eugene does the cutting and Bischoff’s face is great. Coach gets put in the dress for no apparent reason. Vince tells him to take his shirt and pants off. I honestly wonder how many other men he’s said that too over the years. The mannequin the dress was on has balls. Vince: “Button that dress up! Don’t be a ****!” Vince sees the gray roots of the hair and has a field day with it. He totally steals the show here and it’s great.

Raw Tag Titles: Chris Benoit/Edge vs. La Resistance

This is Conway and Grenier for you La Resistance fan out there. Grenier sings the Canadian national anthem in French to waste a ton of time. Benoit’s music finally kicks on to break up the “singing”. This is right around the time of Edge’s real heel turn and he was really getting good at it. He jumps Conway to start and there is no combination that the champions could use to have an advantage here.

I love that snap suplex from Benoit. That’s always so awesome looking. The crowd is, amazingly enough, dead for the most part here. Edge goes out in front of the barrier to argue with some fan that must have said something evil. I think he might not like Edge but I’m not entirely sure.

This crowd is DEAD. They aren’t moving at all and are barely making any noise at all. It’s like they’re working in front of a ghost town. Benoit has barely been in there at all but unless they pop like crazy for him, this match can more or less be considered a failure in the crowd’s eyes. Benoit comes in to about as great of a roar as the opposing team’s mascot would get.

King thinks the most important thing to the champions is to retain their titles. You can’t buy experience and analysis like that people! A depressing let’s go Benoit chant starts up and dies even faster. The referee doesn’t see the tag to Edge so it isn’t allowed. I love classic things like that. And there goes Edge as he leaves Benoit alone. Well alone with three other guys that is.

In the back Edge gets his bag and leaves. Back in the arena, Benoit hits a top rope suplex but can’t cover. Benoit reverses their finisher (Au Revoir) and shoves Grenier to the floor before locking in the Crossface on Conway for the tap out and the titles. Why look at this: champions that aren’t a real team that hate each other. NEW IDEAS RULE!

Rating: D+. This was like 17 minutes long and NOTHING happened. This was supposed to be big because of Benoit doing it on his own but when he’s on his own for like 3 minutes and the champions dominate for the rest of the time, it’s not a good match but rather just boring as hell. This wasn’t good at all.

HHH is mad because he can’t have any strategy. He also doesn’t believe Shawn’s knee is really hurt. That made me smile as I typed it. We then get clips of Shawn’s knee being hurt last night. King thinks he’s faking.

We recap Christy vs. Carmella. The Christy is Christy Hemme and Camella was also in Playboy. They argue over what kind of “match” to have. The options are aerobics challenge, lingerie pillow fight and bra and panties. Also in the Diva Search that they were the finalists of were Michelle McCool and Maria plus two other girls that also made it to WWE.

Coach is still in his dress for this. Lingerie gets over half the vote. There are semi-see through screens for them to change in. Christy more or less strips and Carmella won’t get near the screen. They take forever and a day to get dressed and the whole thing is just stupid. GET ON WITH IT. They’ve spent like 8 minutes getting ready. Finally.

Christy vs. Carmella

Carmella has false boobs in and Christy rips them out. The feathers get unleashed and this is just idiotic. They roll over top of each other and Christy gets a pin less than two minutes in. Move on now.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels

This HAS to be good right? Remember that Shawn has a bad left knee. Lawler doesn’t think Shawn is hurt and Ross goes OFF on him, asking if Lawler can think about anything but puppies for one second and acknowledge that the man is hurt. HHH goes to the knee and takes complete control. It’s all HHH here as he just works the knee as much as he can.

We bust out the figure four and Shawn is in trouble. HHH even puts it on the right leg, as in the correct one since it’s Shawn’s left knee that is hurt. He begs the referee not to ring the bell and pulls him down when he tries to. Shawn FINALLY gets the ropes and his knee is pretty much destroyed. And of course Shawn can stand on the knee, but at least he’s not standing straight up. He’s selling it but not as well as he could have.

So of course Shawn uses atomic drops on the bad knee. I get that it hurts him, but how could he be able to stand up? This is what gets on my nerves when they use the HEART justification to explain this. It’s cool once in awhile but when the guy does it for like ten minutes it’s just idiotic. He gets a low blow and a DDT (which is more or less the generic big move for everyone) to set up a top rope elbow.

Yeah my head is hurting again. The fans get into the show for the first time in over two hours as Sweet Chin Music is set up. And here’s Batista for the interference but the kick connects! Edge pops up to spear Shawn and kick off their feud which ran until I think the Rumble. That gets the pin for the Game.

Rating: B. This was a good match, but the selling by Shawn was questionable here. It was like the more HHH beat on the knee the stronger it got, which makes absolutely no sense but whatever. This was solid as you would expect from these two, but seeing HHH use simple psychology (HBK has a bad knee, HHH goes after it the whole time) is a weird thing as these two usually hit 2-3 finishers each to end it. Good match, but nothing is going to save this card at this point.

Bischoff is mostly bald and isn’t happy about it.

We recap the night which takes up like 5 minutes because we have nothing but the main event left to go.

Flair says Orton will never be a legend until he beats him. Orton couldn’t get a title shot while HHH was champion. I kept telling people I wanted an Orton face run and now look where he is. Flair was showing signs of a face turn which never came.

The final vote is for the stipulation here.

Falls Count Anywhere – 20%
Submission – 12%
Steel Cage – 68%

Randy Orton vs. Ric Flair

It’s weird seeing Orton’s arms. Orton used right and left hands back then which is a cool sight actually. Not many people do that and the only other two that I can think of are Sting and Shawn, so if nothing else he’s in good company. Flair goes low a few minutes in and we hit the no rules part of this. Orton is busted and it’s fairly bad.

We talk about politics for some reason as it’s all Flair. Orton comes back and we see Flair’s ass for no apparent reason. Is that a running joke in wrestling or something? Flair gets another low blow which is the smart thing to do here as it’s perfectly legal so why not do it? Flair is busted open too. While he’s up against the cage, Orton dropkicks him into it. That was different.

Orton hits a top rope cross body in a nice nod to Flair’s original Starrcade world title win. Flair tries to escape which doesn’t work. Brass knuckles to Orton gets two. Why is he hiding them in a no holds barred match? Instinct of a great heel if nothing else. The old dude gets a chair in the cage somehow but misses and RKO ends it. I love that move and it was awesome back then too as he didn’t jump as high so it was like a Diamond Cutter. They shake hands to end the show.

Rating: B-. Not bad but this was wasn’t anything that special. Flair was game here though and showed that he could still pull off a decent match when he had to. It’s saying something else that they gave him the main event spot. Orton was awesome at this point so of course they turned him heel and then sent him to Smackdown so he wouldn’t get too over. But remember, HHH NEVER played politics at all. Never. Not him. Nope.

Overall Rating: F+. Oh this was BAD. There was nothing at all worth watching on this and almost nothing worth even talking about. Shelton winning his first title could have been on Raw….much like the rest of this damn show. This show just didn’t work as the angles went nowhere after this because it was more or less a bunch of one off matches. Terrible show and not even worth watching for the novelty.

 

[Little Jerry Lawler]

This show was pretty awful except for the last two matches. I was bored by the HHH/HBK match as Michaels' screams of agony were annoying halfway through but I did enjoy the back-and-forth between JR and Lawler. I was surprised that the Flair/Orton match went on last but it was a pretty good match. Like you, I also saw hints of a Flair face turn which never happened. This PPV felt like a three-hour episode of RAW and it didn't get any better when they kept having it year after year.

 

[klunderbunker]

Taboo Tuesday 2005
Date: November 1, 2005
Location: iPayOne Center, San Diego, California
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler

We’re back for the final one of these Tuesday shows before we switch to the traditional Sunday. This is again a Raw show and is based around Cena vs. Angle vs. a person the fans will pick. The other good match on here is HHH vs. Flair for the IC Title where you pick the stips. Flair begged for it to be a cage match so what do you think was picked? Other than that there’s an interesting deal with Austin that we’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about having power, which involves being a military general for some reason.

Edge and Masters come out before we had a chance to even have Jerry and Joey say who they are. Todd Grisham is the host just like last year. This is Raw vs. Smackdown and we get to pick the two Smackdown guys to be in the match. The choices are Christian (his contract was up and he showed up here and I think tomorrow on Raw as a courtesy before heading to TNA for about four years), Matt Hardy, Hardcore Holly, JBL and Rey Mysterio with Matt and Rey winning by wide margins.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Edge

This was during the Hardy vs. Edge war. Masters was a monster at this point but didn’t mean much. The keyboard on the stage is all random and isn’t anywhere near what a traditional one looks like. Rey as the hometown boy gets a huge pop. Something I hadn’t realized: Eddie died 12 days after this. Edge says he has nothing to prove here so he’s not wrestling.

Matt Hardy/Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters/Snitsky

Yeah this isn’t a bait and switch in the slightest. We have two referees in there too which is kind of odd. Rey gets a small package and both go for counts, resulting in an argument. It’s weird hearing commentators say last night and refer to Raw. Rey goes for that body scissors into the bulldog and they botch it. My guess would be Masters botched it but whatever.

Matt comes in to a bigger pop than Rey got which is really weird. Side Effect is called a Uranage by Joey. Matt kind of botches a top rope something and it turns into a DDT for two. This is sloppy beyond reason. Maybe it’s the Tuesday thing but with two of them being Smackdown guys this should be normal for them. I’m not sure if I get the idea of bringing in Smackdown but whatever.

Joey is only here for one night since Coach is wrestling and JR was fired due to some overly complicated storyline involving the McMahons that we’ll get to later. Now the fans want Christian. Damn they’re greedy in San Diego. Matt is working the majority here to set up the hot tag to Rey. There it is and Rey cleans house. Well most of it at least since he can’t reach the top shelves.

Masterlock goes onto Rey though and Rey is in trouble. He kicks off the corner and lands on Masters for a cover but the referees mess things up again. A pair of top rope dives take out the heels and a springboard sunset flip gets two. Masters does a spinning rack into a neckbreaker which is a move I’ve always kind of liked. 619 into the Twist of Fate into a springboard splash ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a great match but for an opener this worked pretty well. Rey and Matt are both popular guys and got the crowd going rather well. Edge not being in there is kind of crap and the double referee thing was overkill for sure. They really messed up with Matt though as he could have been a big deal but they just botched it. Not bad though.

Foley is in the back with Maria who is in his Mankind mask and he’s got her lingerie for later. Nudity allegedly ensues.

Ah apparently Edge was legit injured. If that happened on Raw or something that’s fine then.

Time to pick Eugene’s Legend partner. The choices are Kamala, Snuka and Duggan with the guy that dove off a cage winning barely over Duggan. I’m not bothering with the percentages this time.

Rob Conway/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/Jimmy Snuka

Conway was a cocky guy with a legend hating gimmick which was dumb since Orton had just gotten done doing that. So is the mentally ******ed guy supposed to carry this team? Snuka looks out of shape here, nearly three and a half years before he was at Mania last year. Eugene and Tomko start us off and we’re already into the comedy portion as Eugene does the one hand up one hand down routine for the Test of Strength.

Conway wears his sunglasses during the match. Ok then. Eugene and Conway were more or less the most dominant tag team in the history of OVW, winning like 9 tag titles. Jimmy is going to be on the outside for the most part here due to a high level of old. There’s the hot tag to him anyway and Snuka just looks confused. Then again he looked that way in his prime.

The faces play ping pong with Conway using headbutts. Eugene hits a Rock Bottom and the splash ends it after about 15 seconds of setting up. Tomko gets back from writing his novel or whatever he spent the last few minutes doing and Kamala and Duggan make the save. At least they kept it short.

Rating: D. This was a bad match but what did you expect? We knew Snuka would win with the splash but seriously, was Tomko the best they had available as a partner? He had nothing to do with this feud or angle or anything like that. This was a glorified handicap match that just wasn’t interesting at all. Like I said though, at least it was short.

Ad for the Taker Tombstone DVD, which I’ve never seen.

We determine which persona Foley will fight Carlito in. Mankind more or less dominates it, setting up this.

Carlito vs. Mankind

As Carlito makes his debut they plug Survivor Series in Detroit and they spell Joe Louis Arena as Joe Lewis instead. I know this place was bad back in this era but come on now. Foley had been a guest on Carlito’s Cabana and said Carlito wasn’t cool. This did result in us getting one of Foley’s awesome morphing promos where he starts as Love then shirts to Jack and then Mankind, which shows just how versatile Foley is.

Carlito is just such a waste of talent. He could have been awesome but was so painfully lazy in the ring that there was no choice but to get rid of him. It’s all Foley to start and we go to the floor. Foley even throws in a baseball slide of all things. Carlito takes over by slamming Mankind’s head into a chair and we’re clearly in a formula here which is ok.

Double clothesline and both guys go down. Mankind starts Social Outcasting Up and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to the floor where we get an elbow on top of that. Double Arm DDT and Socko end this. It never ceases to amaze me how Foley can use like 5 moves and have such a successful career.

Rating: D+. Pretty bad match here and I’m not sure if I get the idea of having Carlito job to a guy with Foley’s stature. I know Foley has had matches that mean more than Carlito’s entire career but I’m not sure I get the logic behind him going over. Although to be fair, the idea of Carlito pinning Mick’s corpse just sounds wrong. Maybe this was the right idea after all.

Vince arrives and wants to hear about the Raw vs. Smackdown match of all things. He jumps down Eric’s throat for losing the match and Eric blames Teddy Long who is relatively new as GM of Smackdown. Vice yells at him and tells him to get it together.

We pick the third guy in the main event tonight: Kane, Big Show or Shawn. Gee I wonder who is going to win this. Kane gets a surprising 38% but it pales in comparison to Shawn’s 46. Kane and Show get a lovely parting gift.

Raw Tag Titles: Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Big Show/Kane

Few quick notes here. Joey says they’re two tough Texans but are billed from Nashville. Also Lillian says they weigh 501. Not 501 pounds but just 501, as in she said five oh one. Not even five hundred and one. Just weird. Show has a beard here and Lillian slips up on HIS intro too. What is going on here? Murdoch starts with Kane and isn’t happy about it.

This is one sided so far and now I’d expect that to change just as I say it. Murdoch kicks Show a bit and that doesn’t work in the slightest. Can Show do anything other than chop? Kane goes for a big boot and somehow manages to hit Cade in the lower back. How are there so many mistakes in one single show? Murdoch shoves Kane to the floor off the top to finally give the champions an advantage.

Kane gets beaten down for awhile and then sits up just because he can. The champions just can’t threaten Show and Kane in the slightest. Show comes in to a lukewarm tag and after some domination, a double chokeslam to Cade ends this. Show gets interviewed afterwards but has to stop for a double chokeslam on Murdoch for fun.

Rating: D+. The lack of drama really hurt this as it was painfully obvious that the titles were changing. Like Kane and Show had any chance of losing here. I mean really did you expect otherwise? This was one of the staples of the show but it became pretty clear nothing would happen from it. Their reign lasted like 5 months and the next reign after theirs would end at the next one in this series.

Vader and Goldust are here. I guess I better explain since I’m going to have to in a bit anyway. So Ross had been fired for laughing at Austin stunning the McMahons at Raw Homecoming and Linda of all people fired him. Austin was going to have a match for Ross’ job against Coach (who brought in Vader and Goldust for no apparent reason to help him) and was booked to lose.

He left, not to be seen again for about five months. Batista was brought in and the Ross aspect was dropped. The firing (Ross actually was having health problems) was why Joey was here also. He would call Raw until May when he did a worked shoot where he bashed WWE, resulting in him taking over as commentator for the revived ECW the following June.

The Fantasy Battle Royal for the Divas will be in lingerie of course.

We recap the Austin being replaced by Batista thing where Austin leaving was blamed on an “accident”.

The choices are street fight, arm wrestling or verbal debate. Moving on.

Batista vs. Jonathan Coachman

Vader and Goldust are just with Coach here and aren’t actual participants. Vader is embarrassingly fat here. The street fight breaks 90% which is relatively low all things considered. Batista is Smackdown Champion here as if we needed any more assurance of the destruction here. The lackeys are in the ring too but it’s not like it really matters. This is back when Batista is still one of the hottest things in the world and just a freaking machine.

Goldust gets a kendo stick and beats up Big Dave with it and coach grabs a belt from the timekeeper. Batista gets loose after being whipped and it’s whipping time all over again as Batista of course destroys everything in sight, even managing what was supposed to be a spinebuster on Vader but he’s just too fat. Batista gets him up the second time though and it’s decent considering the size of that ass. Batista Bomb kills Coach to end it.

Rating: N/A. Given one week to set this up, this was about as good as it was going to get. Batista is no Austin, but then again who is? At least they got a big star to fill in which is as nice as they could have done. This was all on Austin and WWE did what they could for once, which is a very rare sight for them.

Shawn, who has won the main event vote twice in a row now, says he’s going to win. Angle, looking like he’s physically ill, comes up and says they don’t like each other but they agree they don’t like Cena. An alliance is offered and Shawn says he’ll think about it.

Raw Women’s Title: Battle Royal

Trish Stratus, Ashley Massaro, Mickie James, Maria, Candice Michelle, Victoria

They’re in lingerie and Trish comes in as champion. Mickie is brand new here and crazy/lesbian to an extent. The fact that they’re usually in lingerie makes this kind of stupid but Trish in underwear never gets old. What kind of battle royal has six people in it? Mickie saves Trish and there’s of course no flow or structure to speak of here. Joey says you have to go over the top and Maria of course goes through the ropes to get rid of her.

Candice does her stupid Go Daddy dance on the apron and Ashley drills her and we’re down to four. Victoria puts Ashley out and this needs to end. And then after Mickie saves Trish a few times she and Victoria go out at the same time. This was awful. Mickie steals the interview time by saying how great Trish is. She was really good at this psycho girl.

Rating: N/A. This was about the girls being hot and that pretty much worked but considering the clothes they usually wear, this is nothing special.

For buying Taboo Tuesday you get a month free of 24/7 online. Not bad.

We recap HHH vs. Flair. HHH had been gone after losing a Cell match vs. Batista. He came back for a tag with Flair and of course turned on him afterwards. The explanation was that HHH gave Flair another chance at greatness but it was only by association. That makes sense and is a solid reason for a match. Simple stories sometimes are the best choices and this is a prime example of that.

Flair begged to make this a cage match and of course that’s what it is. The other options are one fall to a finish, as in a regular match, submission or cage. Cage of course breaks 80% to win.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. HHH

Flair is champion here and while HHH said it was mediocrity for Flair, he doesn’t mind trying to win the title. Some have called this Flair’s last great match, although I think that was before the Shawn match at Mania. It’s pin/submission/escape here. HHH sits on top of the cage to do the water spit. For some reason I can’t take this serious as a blood feud considering Flair is all in pink. Ah good the tights are black and the boots are red. I can live with that.

Flair drops a very audible F Bomb and says give me your best fucking shot. Chops vs. punches begin here and HHH is in trouble, although it’s a minute in so far. Flair can really only throw chops here but then again it’s relatively early in it. He’s the first one to go into the cage and he’s of course busted badly. I love when he’s on the mat and screaming for mercy. It’s hilarious for some reason.

HHH rakes his face across the steel and is in complete control here. With Flair leaning against the cage, HHH hits a running splash. Yes that’s correct and it looked painful. Flair is bleeding a gusher and the fans begin to cheer for him. Both guys get crotched as Flair stops HHH from leaving. HHH gets a chain from somewhere which I think he had stashed on the cage.

It’s been about 80/20 HHH in control thus far. Flair can curse with the best of them. HHH gets the Figure Four on Flair as this is probably going to go for a long time. The third F Bomb in about twelve minutes is uttered and Flair gets to the ropes for the break. Yep in a cage match. I can’t stand rules like that at times. HHH gets busted open and it wakes Flair up somehow.

This is a bloodbath for the most part and some idiot has to chant boring despite this being a good match so far. Flair goes after the bad knee of HHH that was torn up in 2001. Flair gets the Figure Four and HHH is in trouble. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Flair looks horrible as the hold is broken. He hits the top rope shot, which is a jumping chop/punch.

Flair almost gets out but is stopped, not before he gets a chair though. He did this last year and I never got why. Flair grabs HHH by the balls to stop a beatdown though. That’s always an odd move. Some chair shots to the head of HHH and Flair actually wins this clean. He looks mostly dead but he won it.

Rating: B. I can’t go higher than that for some reason but this was a great match. It was old school Flair here as he just went insane to beat HHH here which isn’t something you see out of him in this era. This was a very old school style match where it was more about violence than escape or anything like that.

The idea was for Flair to get one last hurrah, but it kind of makes HHH look pathetic that he can’t beat Flair at this age. Still though, by far the best match of the night. HHH gets cheered as he’s carried out.

Ad for the Mania Anthology, which really was awesome to have finally.

Raw World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena


This is really about Shawn vs. Angle but they needed another guy in there I guess since Vince needs his triple threat. This is also about starting up Cena vs. Angle since Jericho retired and that was the big feud for Cena at the time. This is Cena’s first title reign, having won it at Mania from JBL in what should have been a longer match.

This is also a very different Cena as he’s still kind of a glorified midcarder without the luster about him. Batista is by far the bigger star at this point and Cena could be the weakest guy in this match. He might not even have the STFU yet.

It’s your usual match to start us off as everyone controls for a little bit. The whole team up thing mentioned earlier is thrown out within ten seconds. Kurt starts throwing people all over the place and gets Shawn’s ankle. Finishers are countered early on and Cena gets some near falls. They double team him and the fans get hyped over it for the first time in a good while.

The destruction of Cena begins and he goes through the announce table. Angle and Shawn start hammering on each other as we’re REALLY into the formula part here. Shawn vs. Angle is always worth seeing though so I can’t complain at all here. They do their usual great match for about five minutes while Cena regains life on the floor. Running Angle Slam from the top gets two.

Cena pops back up and cleans house with those shoulder blocks. I love moves like those where you just throw yourself into the other person. How can you block something like that? Shawn takes over now and I’d expect Kurt to do the same very soon. Angle pops a belly to belly over the top in a great looking spot. Cena goes insane as he’s known to do but winds up in the ankle lock.

Two kicks don’t break the hold and the leg lace is on. Shawn of course takes the long way to break it up, dropping an elbow so that Cena is in the hold for like a minute straight. Kurt gets kicked and then Cena pops up for the FU on Shawn to retain. Good to see that ankle heel in less than 30 seconds.

Rating: B-. If there as a B- - it would get that. When a match’s longest segment is Shawn vs. Angle it’s pretty clearly going to be good. This definitely wasn’t bad but there was never any real drama to it as Shawn and Angle were clearly going to cancel each other out. This got the ball rolling on Angle vs. Cena which was the title match at Survivor Series. Good match, but the selling by Cena hurt the ending a lot in my eyes.

Overall Rating: D. This show was pretty bad. The cage match is good and if you’re a fan of old school style or Flair it’s worth checking out, but it’s an acquired taste. The main event is pretty good but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen other times. Overall, this show comes off as unnecessary.

Other than Flair winning the match which didn’t end the feud and the new tag champions, nothing of note comes out of this and the title switch could have been at any show. This just didn’t need to happen and wasn’t that good. It picked up a bit with the shift to Sundays but other than that it just never was worth the time. Take a pass.

 

[klunderbunker]

Cyber Sunday 2006
Date: November 5, 2006
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 7,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re obviously on Sunday now as this should be a bit better of a show, at least in theory. We have a main event of Champion vs. Champion vs. Champion as Big Show vs. Booker T vs. John Cena is the main event. The vote is which title is on the line. This also has a very long Rated RKO vs. DX match on it and one of my favorite comedy moments ever in wrestling if not my favorite. All that being said let’s get to it.

The video is about how we have the power and it lists off most of the matches and the stipulations we can pick.

The first vote is who fights Umaga with the choices being Sandman, Kane or Benoit. Benoit, the US Champion, is last as Kane more or less dominates the poll with nearly 50%. And what a coincidence that these two had been feuding!

Umaga vs. Kane

Umaga had sent Kane to either Smackdown or ECW recently so again there’s a point to this, which is just so convenient no? It was Smackdown apparently. Umaga is still undefeated here. Kane can’t hurt him with a headbutt as it’s good to see that Vince is keeping up with his stereotypes. Total slugout to start and Kane no sells a bunch of stuff. Pretty boring match so far but what do you expect?

The Samoan hits a downward spiral of all things to take over. This needs to end already and we’re like three minutes into it. The running ass shot has Kane reeling. Ok apparently it woke him up. Is this supposed to make sense? A massive Samoan ass in your face wakes you up? Also what is it with Samoans and asses in the corner?

Kane starts his comeback and has the...uh….small man in trouble. Estrada gets up on the apron to do nothing of note and Kane sits up after the Samoan Drop. This has gotten better if you couldn’t tell. He jumps off for the clothesline but jumps into the Samoan Spike and another one ends it.

Rating: D+. This got better but still not by much. It’s ok but that’s about all it was. Umaga would get a main event push very soon but it never really went anywhere either. This was a pretty decent opener I guess but the crowd was pretty much dead for it which is really weird. Kane jobs again. What a shock that is.

Show and Sharmell talk and Sharmell tries to talk Show out of the match. Oh wait she wants them to team up. This is generic and stupid but it’s standard fair for shows and matches like these.

Cryme Tyme vs. Viscera/Charlie Haas vs. The Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The options are Texas Tornado, Fatal Fourway or Tag Team Turmoil with the insane one winning. Texas Tornado means everyone is in the ring at the same time. No titles or anything but rather just a match to fill out the card. Tornado gets half the vote and it’s a big mess. I remember Viscera and Charlie as a team but have no idea why. This is a total mess of course.

Who would imagine that JTG would be the only one left in the company at this point and that Viscera is the most famous name in this match somehow. I’m not even going to try to keep track of what’s going on here as it’s a free for all. JTG and Charlie are the only ones in the ring. Great German suplex by Haas to take over but they’re replaced almost immediately by Shad and Viscera.

Shad has been arrested 23 times for assault. The Highlanders get rid of the fat man as Cade and Murdoch take over. And then JTG hits a kick to end it. Sure whatever. They dance on the announce table after the match and teach JR the handshake. And there goes King’s laptop. Racial stereotyping FTW! Yes I said FTW.

Rating: D. Total mess here with no flow or story in sight but that was the idea I guess. It was just a big disaster with everyone all over the place. It was to put Cryme Tyme over but of course they never wound up doing anything. They would get fired sooner or later here but I’m not sure when. It’s not like it matters or anything so whatever.

Ok, this is one of my favorite bits ever. I’m not going to describe it, so here it is.

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That’s just awesome and absolutely hilarious every time I watch it.

The next pick is for Jeff Hardy’s opponent with the choices being Johnny Nitro, Shelton Benjamin and Carlito, who wins in a LANDSLIDE with over 60% of the vote.

Intercontinental Title: Carlito vs. Jeff Hardy

The title was getting a bit of a rejuvenation around this time before dying again soon after this due to one Santino. I think both are faces here but I’m not sure. They shake hands so I’d assume so. They do some mat/technical stuff but it’s botched pretty badly. And there’s another semi-botch. Either they’re doing a really weird style or they’re just botching a lot of stuff. Someone really wants Carlito to cut his hair.

Hardy’s rail running clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a decent looking move. Twist of Fate is reversed as this is getting better. The one that isn’t on national TV at the moment controls as we’re just waiting around a lot at this point. What we’re waiting for I’m not sure but the fans think this is boring. I can’t say I disagree. We’ve had a lot of Carlito using a reverse bearhug on the mat. Yes he’s being lazy. I’m shocked too.

From that we head to a sleeper. I bet the concession stand people are loving this. Crowd is pretty dead for this and I can’t blame them at all. I love people complaining about Cole and Lawler now as he and JR are botching a ton of lines here. Jeff makes a comeback but the Swanton hits knees. Whisper in the Wind gets two as this part at least is good. Carlito misses a hurricanrana and the Swanton finally ends it.

Rating: D+. The ending made it watchable but DAMN the stalling here was stupid. They just laid around here far too long and it just was boring for the most part. It’s about 13 minutes long but the majority of that is just Carlito doing rest holds. This could have been good if Carlito wasn’t so lazy, but then again if he wasn’t he’d still be employed.

Ad for one of Hogan’s DVDs.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which was about Orton and Edge teaming up to take Raw back from DX and its selfishness. This was a cool idea for an angle but of course HHH got hurt as he was known to do. Naturally this allows us to have a DX montage package since that’s just what you do. The choices here are Vince, Coach or Bischoff.

D-Generation X Vs. Rated RKO

DX’s intro takes forever of course even though they come out first. Bischoff gets sixty percent of the vote, beating Vince and Coach combined. This makes me question the legitimacy here as Bischoff getting that many especially with Vince in the poll is REALLY odd. He’s going to be against DX here for no adequately explained reason. It says a lot when HBK, probably the best and biggest star of these four, is the one with the least world titles on his resume.

We see Edge’s ass as Shawn pulls his tights down. We’ll he’s had it done so often to him I guess he had to return the favor to someone. HHH says he’s coming in off the top then says screw it and just climbs down. That was kind of funny. It was completely pointless but it was kind of funny. All DX to start here but I think that was more or less expected. Lots of punching here so far but we’re only a few minutes into it.

Orton is really arrogant here and is perfect as the total jerk. He’s not quite as good as he was two years before, but he was great back then so it’s hard to call him at his best. Shawn comes in and we get the forearm and nip-up like five minutes into this. Orton stops Chin Music though and crotches Shawn. He plays Ricky Morton now, which says a lot about how much the Midnights and the Rock N Roll Express changed and influenced wrestling.

Shawn’s selling really is great. You would believe he’s been run over by a bus off of every move he takes, which really makes the other guy look devastating. Naturally, Orton hits a chinlock. Shawn gets out of the way of a spear and down goes Bischoff to a solid pop. Naturally DX waits for a tag to have HHH come in even though there’s no referee. Uh…moral?

Spear takes down HHH and Edge does a crotch chop so he takes a plancha from Shawn for his troubles. RKO puts HHH down and here’s a spare referee to count the two. This all took like a minute so sorry for the commentary. Sweet Chin Music to Orton gets two since Bischoff pulls the referee out of the ring. A chair is brought in and both DX guys get popped with it and Bischoff doesn’t seem to mind. RKO on the chair ends it.

Rating: B-. Not bad here but there was just something missing. It felt rushed even though this somehow was pushing 20 minutes. The beginning is just a bunch of punches and then Shawn got in trouble, setting up the ref bump and the ending. It’s definitely a good match but this could have been more if the time they had was used more properly, which isn’t something you often have to say about a match Shawn is in.

Ad for The Marine, which wasn’t that bad.

Rated RKO says nothing of note.

The Divas come out to be told who to do. Make your own jokes on that one. It’s a lumberjack match.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Lita

Trish retired so we had a four Diva tournament to set this up. Lita is about a month from retiring at this point so she’s more or less destined to win. Mickie throws the absolute worst dropkick anyone with a great rack has ever thrown. This is horrible but at least we get to look at Mickie’s ass. Lita as a heel just doesn’t work from an in ring perspective. She hooks on a sleeper that does fairly well.

Not that it wins or anything since it’s a freaking sleeper but nice try if nothing else. Instead of a match here, Lita seems like she’s just there doing moves on Mickie with no particular rhyme or reason. The girls do their thing of course and nothing of note is going on here at all. Lita blocks/Mickie botches the Stratusfaction and Mickie gets a rollup for two. The other Divas get involved and a spike DDT ends it for Lita.

Rating: D. This was boring as hell really. The only highlights were Mickie’s ass and Lita’s chest. Other than that we were just sitting around watching this bullshit go on and on. The match never went anywhere as it’s clear Lita just didn’t care anymore. Mickie would win the title from Lita at Survivor Series in Lita’s retirement match.

Mania is in Detroit.

Kenny yells at the Spirit Squad and says he’s better than they are so he’s the leader.

Raw Tag Titles: Ric Flair/??? vs. Spirit Squad

The vote is for Flair’s partner. The choices are Piper, Slaughter and Dusty. Piper, looking VERY old, gets the nod. Is there supposed to be a connection between Slaughter and Flait that I’m just not getting? Piper takes his shirt off and I get mad at him. How could he not tell us he was 8 months pregnant? He even has breasts full of milk! Dusty and Slaughter come out to back up the old guys for this.

Kenny and Mikey are the two in the ring at the moment. Ross says this is like Lebron vs. Michael Jordan. Well no one ever claimed Ross toned things down. Both tag and Piper is pathetic looking. Piper gets beaten up as Flair is by far the ace of the team. That’s either awesome or sad and I’m not sure which. The heels dominate for the most part while Piper just kind of lays there.

The hot tag brings in Flair and Mikey is in the figure four but Kenny saves with his top rope legdrop. Are we waiting on the Piper hot tag now? It’s clear that Flair is the only guy on his team in any semblance of shape. Figure four goes on again and OLD GUYS WIN! Dusty and Slaughter come in to stop the big beatdown. Rhodes’ music of all things plays them out. Ah ok it’s so they can dance.

Rating: D-. This was pretty pathetic really. Flair is passable but Piper was clearly just in nothing close to wrestling shape. He would at least wear a t-shirt for the rest of his time in the ring which is a nice break. They would drop the belts in 8 days to Rated RKO so at least this wasn’t long or anything. The match was bad though, namely due to Piper.

Booker tries to get Cena on his side and Cena says ok, but he wants one night with the Queen. Can’t say he’s not smart as Sharmell is rather attractive. Booker sends Sharmell out and then says ok to a HUGE shocked pop. Cena asks if he’s crazy as that’s Booker’s wife. He leaves and makes up a story to Sharmell about this weird orgy that he gets to watch. Funnier than it sounds, and Ron Simmons says DAMN.

Ad for Survivor Series, where it’s brand vs. brand vs. brand.

Some Bengals are here.

We see how all three champions got their titles in a cool package.

Basically you’re voting for who you want to win here since no title is going to be unified here. Booker wins by a landslide.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. John Cena vs. Big Show

Booker is knocked to the floor almost immediately and it’s Cena vs. Show for a long time. We swap that out for Booker vs. Cena as it’s clearly going to be a basic triple thread with two guys fighting for awhile as the third is down. Show gets two and Cena makes the save. A double clothesline puts the big man on the floro and something tells me that’s the last we’re going to see from him for a LONG time.

Of course I’m wrong as he makes a save off a Fisherman’s suplex from Cena. Show gets the stairs but gets a dropkick to his knee, driving his head into the steps. Ok that’s how they get rid of him. Book End gets two in the ring. Just to mess with the internet, Cena hits a belly to belly suplex and goes for a top rope splash. Lawler points out Cena has nothing to lose here which is true.

It’s been Booker vs. Cena for about 4 minutes now with Show on the floor. Both counter the other’s finisher and we’re about even. STFU doesn’t work as this just isn’t that much at all, mainly because we know nothing is coming from this since Show is going to be back eventually to stop whatever is going on here. Token plug for the Marine follows as Cena is in control.

After about seven minutes Show is finally up. That’s part of the issue with matches like these: a move like that would never keep a guy down that long but here it’s perfectly normal. A missile dropkick puts Show down and takes Cena down with him since Cena was on Show’s shoulders. Wow that came out awkward but you get the idea. Show takes over now and takes Cena to the floor.

And so much for that theory as Show gets put down (and booed loudly) before the 5 Knuckle Shuffle has Booker in trouble. FU to Sharmell as she tries to hit Cena with a belt. STFU on Booker and KEVIN FREAKING FEDERLINE comes in and blasts Cena with a belt. A belt shot from Booker lets him keep the title.

Rating: D+. Just a bad match overall. There was no way a title was changing here and since Show couldn’t stay in there longer than like two minutes at a time due to general fatness, this was a glorified one on one match. It’s a cool idea on paper but other than that it’s really not that much. The over twenty minutes did go by quickly though which was nice.

Overall Rating: D. These shows just aren’t that good. The voting thing is a cool idea but the problem comes when the matches simply aren’t any good no matter what you throw out there. The Champion of Champions match was a good idea but it was really weak given Show laying on the ground for most of it. Like I’ve said for a long time, these should be TV specials rather than PPVs. Nothing big ever happens and the tag titles changing hands is almost predictable at this point. Bad show, but not too bad.

 

[klunderbunker]

Cyber Sunday 2007
Date: October 28, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Attendance: 10,097
Commentators: Michael Cole, JBL, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Joey Styles

It’s the next to last one of these and thank goodness for that. These shows just are not that good overall and it shows badly. The main event this time is Batista vs. Taker where the vote is for the referee. Austin, JBL and Foley are the choices. I think you get where this is going. Other than that the card looks ok as they’re mainly going with picking opponents here. This looks better than the last few so let’s get to it.

The opening video is about voting for the right candidate like it’s an election which is a cool twist on things. Our votes can alter history here. Oh I’m sure it will.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

You pick the stipulation, which can be stretcher, shillelagh on a pole or No DQ. I don’t remember this feud at all but I wasn’t huge on Smackdown at the time so a lot of the show just kind of came and went. Stretcher wins but it’s rather close. Wow this match doesn’t sound interesting at all. In a cool spot Finlay throws Rey under the bottom rope where he lands on the stretcher and slides partially up the ramp.

They head to the aisle to tease some endings and brawl a lot. Finlay apparently turned heel like two days before this to set this match up. No wonder I don’t remember the feud because there hasn’t been much of a feud at all. Ah scratch that as it started at No Mercy yet they were a team on Friday. These years generally sucked for WWE and particularly Smackdown so there you go.

Finlay goes up the pole for the club (the real name is hard to type) because that’s perfectly fine here. Rey hits a baseball slide to the crotch which has to hurt like hell assuming a lack of a cup. Rey gets the club and keeps it for about two seconds. Rey crashing onto the stretcher is a cool looking thing for some reason.

It’s been mainly Finlay here as he is just beating Rey up. That of course tells me that Rey will win but whatever. That being said, this hasn’t been a very interesting match. I’ve never gotten the appeal of these matches. And there’s a modified 619 and a front flip splash onto Finlay onto the stretcher. They break the stretcher and botch it as the stretcher gets caught on a cord. Finlay charges and hits the stretcher, knocking it and himself over the finish line.

Rating: D+. It’s ok I guess but this just wasn’t that interesting at all. Nothing really happened here and nothing really got going at all. Stretcher matches are pretty pointless but at least they have a history involving a stretcher, which we’ll get to in the No Mercy series. This wasn’t as bad as I expected but this just never got going at all and wasn’t very interesting at all.

Matt Hardy might not be able to fight tonight due to a BAD cut on his head. He’s in the back and looks horrible. MVP comes in and gloats. I think the original match was about them in a tag match or a one on one match but it’s not like it matters. Matt has gotten Vickie to set up MVP in a US Title match and it might be against Mark Henry, Khali or Kane.

JBL is campaigning to be the referee tonight. I like the whole election theme here which is a change of pace at least.

The Divas are having a Halloween costume contest. Maria is a cat. Victoria is a sumo wrestler. Ron Simmons doesn’t know what to think of this.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. ???

The options are Morrison, Big Daddy V and that Miz guy. Miz and Morrison are a tag team and Punk beat Morrison for the title. V had been built up as a monster (with Matt Striker as his manager of all people) and MIZ of all people wins it. You can hear the legit shock of everyone as he was more or less thrown on there as a nothing guy here. This would be like picking Santino or something.

I can’t get over how different Miz is now. We have a basic back and forth sequence to start where Miz actually wins a bit of it. That’s different if nothing else. The announcers sound legit shocked by Miz getting the shot. Miz controls with basic stuff which is the extent of his offense at this point. The fans think Miz can’t wrestle. This makes where he is nearly three years later all the more amazing.

Punk misses a cross body as Miz rams the knee in which was a nice spot. This is more or less Miz’s coming out party, of which he’s had like 5 so far, but he’s showing off here and it’s working well. Punk just starts going off on Miz throwing kicks and knees. Springboard clothesline and down goes Miz for two. GTS is countered, Miz gets a rollup for two and then walks into the GTS to end it.

Rating: C+. Decent little match here but not a classic or anything like that Miz got a chance to showcase himself here and soon after this he and Morrison would start getting their push, which is where things really get rolling in both of their careers. Fun match though but nothing that you wouldn’t see as the main event of ECW at this point.

Ad for the ECW Monster Mash Battle Royal. It sucked.

Mickie James is an Indian. Damn.

Torrie is a football player. This is really stupid.

We recap No Mercy which is where Orton was handed the WWE Title then lost it to HHH and then won it back later that night. It was also the first LD I participated in. We’re going to vote on who his opponent is tonight: Shawn, Hardy or Kennedy (Anderson for you REALLY young guys out there). Shawn had recently come back after Orton beat him up and put him out, so this is about as much of a given as you could imagine. He and Kennedy had been feuding lately too and since the two losers fought each other this really is a no brainer.

Shawn of course dominates the poll with Kennedy getting a meager 10%.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy is one of the most popular guys in the company at this point and the Intercontinental Champion but this is non-title. They do a lot of reversals and jockeying for position which is entertaining if done right. Jeff hits a nice dive to take down Kennedy on the floor as this is better than their TNA stuff, but of course this would get a THIS IS WRESTLING chant in TNA.

They’re not doing anything really special here but it’s pretty decent so far. Kennedy is controlling for the most part and he takes the head off of Hardy with a clothesline. Hardy hits a hurricanrana which isn’t something that he hits that often but it wasn’t bad. Both of these guys can throw a damn clothesline.

Hardy starts his comeback as this is picking up. This hasn’t been bad at all and far better than them having a bad tag title win that no one cares about. Hardy misses that slingshot dropkick in the corner that he does on occasion and it’s enough for Kennedy to get the pin. That came out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. Fun match here and better than most of what they’ve done in TNA. This would have been a much better match if they had more time. This needed about another five minutes or so and it would have been much better. Still though, good match and Kennedy winning perfectly clean over the IC Champion was a nice boost for him.

Cole votes for Kane to fight MVP.

Michelle McCool is Eve from the Garden of Eden. She wears less when she wrestles.

Melina is a showgirl and is more or less in a bikini. Damn again.

Foley yells at cardboard cutouts of Batista and Taker but JBL cuts him off, saying he has an advertisement. This is well done and rather funny. Ah those are Fatheads, not cardboard. Fathead is the sponsor tonight so this makes sense.

US Title: MVP vs. ???

MVP is half of the tag champions with Hardy here too. The vote goes to Kane by a wide margin. MVP immediately runs which makes sense. This is more or less unannounced so I guess you can’t complain about them not giving us a good replacement. This was a fairly long running feud so it makes sense at least. MVP hits a running big boot in the corner which is patented apparently.

We hit the rest/wear down hold almost immediate which makes me think very little of this match already. MVP works on the ribs which are injured from an attack on ECW. See what a basic idea like that can do for you? It gives you a basic idea and story for a match and often times that’s all you need. Kane takes over with power stuff. I love basic stuff like this where a guy the size of Kane can do basic stuff but a guy selling well can make it look far better, which is what MVP is doing here.

MVP gets laid up along the top rope and gets punted in a cool looking spot. Both guys have their ribs worked on and it’s mainly Kane here. And then he gets knocked to the floor and just takes the countout. Why does that not surprise me? We were having a fairly decent match here so I should have seen the bad ending coming.

Rating: C. Good match but the ending just crippled it. This could have been good with an actual finish but with the way they did this it just didn’t work. I get that they didn’t want to give the title change of course but I just wish we could have gotten a better ending out of it. Then again it’s a Kane match so like he’s going to get to have a clean ending.

Save Us video, which turned out to be the return of Jericho.

Ad for Survivor Series. That wasn’t a bad show and the main event, Batista vs. Taker in the Cell was very good.

Layla is a cop.

Kelly is a Diva, which means ho without saying it. She looks great.

We get a video of Orton beating up Shawn which Randy introduces. Mainly Orton just injures his head.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Like I said this was a long feud so this is really a no brainer at this point. I like Burn in My Light better than Voices actually but I’m probably one of about 3 people that do. Wow that title just doesn’t look right with Orton. Shawn hits the plancha early on and is dominating. They go to the mat where of course Shawn is more comfortable. Shawn gets out of a front facelock and sends Orton’s left arm into the post.

In a cool move, Orton takes a neckbreaker on the arm. I’ve never seen that in that manner before. Again Shawn does the smart thing by using a wide variety of moves to work on the arm which keeps things fresh, including a hammerlock slam ala Arn Anderson. Orton oversells the arm but at least he’s trying which is better than underselling. He takes over on the floor and slows things WAY down.

Just like in every other match with Shawn in it, the guy works on his back. Why does no one get that that just doesn’t work? Orton can throw a great dropkick. Ah there’s my chinlock. Good to see that Orton never changes. He gets his backbreaker which JR calls the Security Wall. That’s a new one on me. Orton sells the arm later in the match even as he sets for the RKO. Little things like that can make a match.

RKO is blocked into a backslide for two. Both guys are down and what do you think Shawn does? The nip up sets up the basic comeback. He sets for the kick in the corner and after stomping about 9 times, Orton has a clue of what’s coming and punches Shawn in the balls for the DQ. Punt misses as Shawn hits Sweet Chin Music. I love how Orton sells that as he just kind of stands there for a bit and then collapses. I love that for some reason.

Rating: C. Not bad but again just nothing special. It felt like a house show main event which while good isn’t worth much since this is a Pay Per View, not a house show. It’s just ok, which is the issue. This was one of their big matches but it never really went anywhere after this. The fans chant for Y2J as they know what’s coming. WWE held off forever on the reveal and when they did it the moment meant nothing, but that’s a different story.

Wrestlemania is at the Citrus Bowl in 08, which was the first one in Florida which is odd.

Brooke is a jungle girl. Why are snakes supposed to be sexy?

Jillian is Brittney Spears. I think that’s all of them.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga which is fallout from DX vs. HHH as Horny was revealed as the kid so HHH is getting all over Vince for it. He brought in Umaga as the hired gun more or less. The choices are street fight, first blood or cage. It’s nice to have three choices where there is a legit chance of all three of them. Street fight wins by a wide margin which is a bit surprising.

HHH vs. Umaga

HHH comes out first for some reason. In something we need more of, we hear a small reference to the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl. Go look THAT one up if you want to see a brawl. Good luck finding it though. HHH runs straight at him and it’s on in the aisle. They’re fighting on a massive keyboard which just looks weird. This is a big brawl to start so at least they have the idea right.

HHH knocks Umaga through a wall in a pretty cool looking spot. This isn’t falls count anywhere so this is just a fun beating. I like HHH better when he just beats on people rather than wrestles them as he can get pretty vicious. In the ring now and Umaga misses a splash, slamming his head into the post. Somehow that doesn’t take him down so HHH busts out the weapons.

The Samoan Drop reverses things. Is that a requirement for all Samoans to learn? I don’t remember the Wild Samoans using that move like ever. This has been a fun brawl that has been very hard hitting. Umaga hits a thumb to the forehead. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to hurt or not but it looked really weird. Umaga hits a bear hug, which at least makes sense as he worked the ribs earlier. Rest holds can work if they’re done right and if they fit the story.

Running ass smash gets two and Umaga tries to eat the referee in a cute spot. Chair time but HHH hits a DDT on it which barely works since he’s a Samoan. HHH goes lucha as he tries a cross body. Take a guess as to how that works for him. Back on the floor and a chair shot misses as we hit the Spanish announce table. Whoever makes those is either really good or really bad. Are they supposed to be that breakable?

Solid match so far as Umaga is dominant. He does the run across three tables for the splash on the third table spot which is rather cool. HHH is basically out so I’d bet on him kicking out here in a SHOCK. A top rope splash misses and Umaga lands head first which looked good. Sledgehammer is brought out and Umaga gets popped in the head with it and the Pedigree ends it.

Rating: B+. That’s probably high but I really liked this. This was a very hard hitting match where they both just beat the crap out of each other. That’s how you do a match like this as it felt like these two just wanted to beat each other up and hurt the other as much as possible. That’s how you do a street fight and these two did very well. HHH is a great brawler when he needs to be and this is no exception. I really liked this.

Ad for WWE Magazine which isn’t something you see that often.

Mickie wins the costume contest. Can’t argue much there as she looks hot.

We recap Batista vs. Taker, which really was a great feud. They’re probably Batista’s best matches ever, of which he has better ones than he’s given credit for. The first one was at Mania which Taker of course won. The rematch at Last Man Standing and a cage match on Smackdown both were draws. This is the fourth match as Batista got the belt back by beating Khali.

We get ready to announce the referee but JBL cuts Todd off. He insists he’s the winner no matter what the totals say but here’s Mick Foley instead. Some people call this filler. Some people call it drama. I call it annoying as I want to see the main event. Foley doesn’t even say anything as Austin gets about 80% of the vote. Foley and JBL fight for a bit until the glass shatters. Austin stuns them both and gets the biggest pops of the night as it’s unlikely Batista or Taker are going to top that.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Batista

I was able to check my voicemail and call the guy back before Taker got in the ring. That’s rather amusing. It’s very cool to see Taker and Austin in the same ring again given the battles they had. The battles weren’t like good or anything but they were built up huge. Batista gets the hometown boy pop which is definitely weaker than Austin’s. The machine gun thing Batista did for his pyro was always cool.

Austin holding up the big gold belt is a strange sight. They’re off early and you can tell this is going to be a hard hitting match just like the last one. Taker goes for the arm, including throwing punches at it as he channels Rocky Marciano. Taker dominates to start. Lawler is on commentary with Cole because JBL is gone from the Stunner. Austin threatening people with DQs is very funny for some reason.

Taker hits the jumping clothesline, which for once is something that it’s ok to call vintage. Taker blocks a top rope suplex for two. They head to the floor and the fans chant for Austin, showing the issue here. Running legdrop on the apron connects and it’s all Taker here as it has been for the majority of the match. This is basically both guys countering each other’s big moves, which is fine as it shows respect from both guys for the other.

Batista catches Old School in a spinebuster in a cool looking move. Taker counters the cover into a triangle choke. In another nice counter, Batista rolls a bit so that Taker is covered and has to let go to kick out. Chokeslam is blocked once but not twice for two. Crowd is WAY into this. Taker blocks the Bomb again so Batista breaks out the drop toehold of PAIN!

Like the idiot that he is, Batista does the ten punches in the corner against the freaking Undertaker so the Last Ride gets two. Spinebuster and Taker sits up. Batista Bomb gets two to a HUGE pop. Big Dave snaps and the Bomb hits again, this time ending it.

Rating: A-. Very fun match as the crowd was WHITE hot here. These two know how to have some damn incredible matches as it was just two monsters pounding away on each other in a war of attrition. This was a huge win for Batista, so of course he lost to Edge next month since Vince loves Edge. This was a good match and definitely a PPV quality main event and then some. Great match.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely the best show of the four so far, but there are only two really good matches here. Other than that this show is pretty weak overall. The two last matches are very good, but outside of that it’s another show where nothing really works that well and nothing is worth going out of your way to see. It’s good, but it’s still a far cry from being a PPV worth going out of your way to see. The last two matches are the only ones worth watching and the street fight won’t please everyone. Good show, but nothing great and not really worth seeing, but there are worse things to spend three hours watching.

 

[klunderbunker]

Cyber Sunday 2008
Date: October 26, 2008
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker, Todd Grisham, Jim Ross, Tazz

We close out the series here. I remember this show rather well actually. This was right around the time I joined the staff here so I was trying to be more of a leader. The main event here is more or less a token title defense between Batista and the champion Jericho, as he had won the title in the Scramble at Unforgiven and just came off the feud with HBK. Other than that we have a last man standing match with Big Show and Taker which was looked at pretty badly if I remember right. Other than that there isn’t much here, so let’s get to it so I can move on to ANYTHING else.

A lot of guys say they don’t care who votes or not. And now they want you to vote. This is a bit odd but it’s different at least.

The set looks like a massive cell phone as you could text in votes this year.

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

The options are 2/3 falls, no holds barred or falls count anywhere. This is during the Kane is psycho phase #18 or so this year. No holds barred wins but it’s rather close. Both guys charge early as the ropes are red, white, red. That’s a very odd combination. Rey busts out a kendo stick and some other stuff which doesn’t work. The big guy hits a baseball slide into Rey into the post which looked cool.

This angle was never really explained other than Kane didn’t like the mask. I have never been able to get into this feud at all and I still can’t now. It makes Kane look like a bumbling idiot when he barely ever beats a guy the size of Rey. At least he got the clean win last week at Summerslam. Kane’s rest holds look awful here as it looks like his arms are just on Rey with no pressure at all.

We hear about his big heart and I continue to say he needs to see a cardiologist about that. More stuff on the back as this is just dull. Rey makes his standard comeback and hits an enziguri that just happens to put Kane on the middle rope. They remember that this is a no holds barred match and Kane gets a chair. Rey is swashbuckling now. Oh dear. Where’s Paul Burchill when you really need him?

Rey hits a chair shot and Kane is up at one. He jumps into Kane’s uppercut for two as Kane is controlling again. We bring in the stairs as this really isn’t much of anything at all. The weapons use is helping a bit but it’s still weak. Drop toehold into the steps and a seated senton gets two. The chair shots set up the 619 which is countered again. Third time it and the springboard splash end it.

Rating: D. Yawn. These two are just completely boring together. What a shock: Rey beats a monster that on paper he shouldn’t have a chance against. These matches were so predictable and I’ve never been able to get into them. Also, this was supposed to be a no holds barred match and it just failed for the most part on that front. Bad match overall.

More Halloween costumes this year. Michelle is a soldier and that works.

Katie Lea is a vampire. Nothing of note.

Lena Yada is a ninja. Moving on.

Candace is Marilyn Monroe. Again moving on.

Jericho runs into Legacy, including Manu. He thanks them for costing Punk the title, which makes me wonder how we never got Punk vs. Orton. They say they won’t do Jericho’s dirty work.

Teddy Long and Tiffany come out and dance a bit. They’re here to announce who Hardy defends his title against. The choices are Evan Bourne, Mark Henry or Finlay. I wonder who gets this. Yeah I think they’ll pick Henry. Clearly the most interesting guy there. Bourne gets about 70% and was that ever really in doubt?

ECW Title: Evan Bourne vs. Matt Hardy

Henry got an embarrassing SIX percent. That’s just funny. Bourne has been around 8 months at this point? Really? He’s been around almost three years? I wouldn’t believe that if they hadn’t said it. Yeah that’s not right. He’s been there like 5 months and debuted in June of 08, so he hasn’t even been around two and a half years yet. That’s more like it. This is the rare face vs. face match which can work well if done right.

Bourne hits a NICE standing moonsault for two. This is a solid back and forth match that there isn’t much to say about as there isn’t much to make fun of. Bourne is good by the way, despite what people want to believe. Matt hooks an abdominal stretch and Matt picks up one of his legs to make that look even more freaky. Bourne counters Splash Mountain, which is a Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb.

Side Effect gets two as Bourne really only has the Shooting Star in his arsenal but getting that move set up is easier said than done. His offense has evolved a good bit since then and he’s a more complete wrestler now. He counters…..something, with a spinwheel kick, making me smile since that’s one of my favorite moves. Striker throws out a bunch of obscure title changes that have happened here because SO many people care that Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett beat Big Bossman and Ken Shamrock in Phoenix.

The Shooting Star misses but the Twist of Fate is countered here. This has cranked WAY up, and just as I say that the Twist of Fate hits to end it. This was one of Hardy’s more entertaining matches in a long time. He was in a groove at this point and he looked very good here.

Rating: B. Solid match as Matt was very entertaining at this point. He was good for the ECW Title since he was a big name that didn’t belong as world champion or anything like that, but he could go out there and pop the crowd, which is the idea of a character like him. This was a very entertaining match as they let Hardy be more like his old self and get a veteran finish, which was nice. It’s not an instant classic like Todd wants us to think, but this was good.

Mania tickets go on sale in 12 days.

Beth is a gladiator. Not sure if this is hot or not.

Jillian is Batgirl. Not bad. The black hair really works for her.

Maria is a bunny. She plays the ditzy role to perfection.

Kelly is a sailor. Basic but it works.

You pick the tag match here which is a cool idea I think. Choices are Mickie/Jamie Noble vs. Layla/Regal, which was a boring as hell feud that went nowhere, Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison or Punk/Kingston vs. Legacy. The second choice wins it.

Cryme Tyme vs. The Miz/John Morrison

This is based on a rivalry from WWE.com, which is a unique idea if nothing else. Miz and Morrison were awesome back in this time period, which is weird to say since this was two years ago. Less than that actually as this was October of 08. Morrison and JTG to start. Who would believe Cryme Tyme would mean nothing at this point while Miz and Morrison are where they are?

The racial stereotypes dominate to start as you would expect. On paper they should dominate here but that’s why it’s on paper. Apparently the paper is correct here though so what do I know? Morrison gets beaten down for a good while and gets sent to the floor with Miz. JTG can fire up a crowd if nothing else.

One of the options, Punk/Kingston vs. Legacy, would have been for the tag titles. That’s saying a lot when the fans didn’t pick a title match but rather one based on an internet feud. I’m not sure what it says but I think it’s that the titles mean jack. Shad’s jeans are falling off. Why is that considered cool in the slightest? I’ve never gotten that at all.

Hot tag to JTG and with Miz sitting down he hits a running Blockbuster. Not bad but I really like that move. You can see a lot of what would make Miz the guy he is today here but none of this stuff means anything here. He has a yin yang on his ass. Well that’s different I guess. After a smart sequence, Shad comes in and cleans house.

Morrison dodges a big boot in the corner and puts his feet on the ropes for two. I love basic heel tactics like that. It’s cheap heat and it never fails. Cryme Tyme really does work well together. Miz interference allows the Midnight Ride (front flip neckbreaker) to end it.

Rating: C-. This was really just a longer Raw/Smackdown match, but the good thing they did here was allowed the fans to pick. That’s a very smart idea as they can’t really complain about the match being good or bad since they picked it. This wasn’t bad though and came off pretty well for what it was, which is a ten minute tag match that means very little at all.

Tiffany is a nun. Hotter than it sounds.

Brie Bella is Cleopatra. Without the twin thing it doesn’t really work.

Natalya is a cop and it doesn’t work at all.

Eve is a ninja turtle and DOES THE SONG! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!

Show vs. Taker will be a submission match, last man standing or knockout match. Results coming later.

Jericho is trying to get someone to be in his corner and it’s Khali. He says no, which takes like 30 seconds to say.

Cena is coming back from his neck injury at Survivor Series.

Time to pick a legend to fight Santino for the IC Title. Beth looks MUCH better in her usual attire. Santino talks for a bit and we see the Honk-a-Meter, which would have been a lot better if it had come closer than a year away from passing Honky’s record. We get a basic promo about Phoenix being full of old people like Shaq, and he’s in the front row, ending the promo quickly. Oddly enough the Cardinals would make the Super Bowl this season so the joke kind of backfired.

The choices are Honky Tonk Man, Piper or Goldust. The vote is far closer than expected with everyone getting over 30%. Piper looks FAR better than last year and probably 35 pounds lighter.

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella

How brilliant is a wrestling Elvis impersonator? That’s just awesome. As a good amount of you might know, his cousin Jerry is on commentary here. He looks old but still decent. I wonder how many people actually know who he is though. It’s weird as hell seeing him as a face in a match. We get a little dance off which is rather awesome.

Total comedy match with the big wrestling move being a headlock. Beth hits him with the belt for the DQ about a minute in. Santino yells at her for no apparent reason and the beatdown follows for Santino as Piper and Goldie come out. Beth is absolutely gorgeous. It really is good to see Piper look so much healthier. Considering about a year earlier he had Hodgkin’s Disease, this is a great thing to see.

Rating: N/A. Just for a feel good moment and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially in a one minute match.

The 800th episode of Raw is coming. The 900th is in like 9 days.

For the first time tonight, which is over 70 minutes, we hear from JR and Tazz.

Maryse is a French maid. Simple but effective.

Layla is Princess Leia. Uh yeah.

Victoria is a banana. Stupider than it sounds.

Mickie James is Lara Croft. Hell yes.

We recap Taker vs. Show, which is one of the most overplayed feud ever in wrestling. The idea this time is no one can withstand Show’s punch, which knocked out Taker last month. Taker cost him the title on Smackdown too.

Vickie is here and brings out Chavo for nothing at all. Vickie was hitting on Show at the time if that clears anything up. Vickie misreads the results by saying it’s I Quit when it’s Last Man Standing. The crowd is very confused and understandably so. Oh well the lights go out so they don’t care.

Undertaker vs. Big Show

To clarify, it’s last man standing. Taker’s entrance time: 2 minutes and 14 seconds. He’s getting faster. His music plays for another minute or so as I watch some of Harry Potter 4. There’s nothing good on TV on Saturday nights anymore so that’s a rare treat of a good movie. It’s boxing to start us off which makes sense here.

We hit the floor and Taker hits a Stunner onto the barricade to break the momentum. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. A chair shot and Show is in trouble. Scratch that as the power of fat prevails. A headbutt by the bald one gets six and we hit the floor again. Taker gets a chair shot to Show’s throat as this isn’t as interesting or good as it sounds. The apron legdrop hits and of course Show is up first.

Taz says Taker has zuzu behind his punches. It’s mainly power stuff both ways here which is what it likely should be. Somehow an I Quit match would favor Show here. I don’t get that as Taker had never lost by submission at this point but then again Tazz had never been the smartest commentator in the world. Taker counters the chokeslam into a DDT for 8. Show rips off a turnbuckle pad which won’t mean anything until later.

Running clothesline gets 9 as you know it’s not ending in ten minutes. Taker goes over the top and hits something that might have been his foot on the steps on the way down. We go to the tables and Striker runs away which is rather funny looking. He breaks the chairs the ECW guys sit in with ease. Chokeslam from the barricade through the table and Taker BARELY beats the count.

The fans think Matt Striker is a pussy which has nothing to do with anything but whatever. Taker is more or less dead but that’s his character so it fits perfectly. Another DDT puts Show down and Taker sits up. Another chokeslam takes down Taker as he goes for Old School. Naturally he’s up at 9 and there’s the knockout punch. Funny sign: YAY! No Cena!

He sits up at 7 and is up at 9, even though there are 5 seconds going between each count. Show caves in his head with a chair then slaps him, but Taker grabs Hell’s Gate! Show taps and Show is in trouble. Taker beats the count and Show is out cold. It came out of nowhere, I’ll give it that.

Rating: D+. This is a lot better than it was the first time I watched it. The ending was a cool thing as it’s how they ended their house show cage matches too. That choke out came from nowhere and looked painful to say the least. That’s the idea here though and it worked pretty well. I don’t like Taker no selling EVERYTHING for the most part as those things should have easily kept him down, but since it’s Taker and sitting up is his thing, I can live with that. Fun but not very good at all. Now please, NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN!

Ad for Mania.

Jericho talks to Mike Adamle about getting rid of the referee aspect of the match and kind of threatens Mike. The GM stands his ground.

Mickie wins the costume contest, which is a great choice. Big brawl of course ensues.

The next vote is who gets the match with HHH: Jeff Hardy, Kozlov or both. This is destined to be a landslide and everyone knew it. That’s one of the small perks about this show: you can get a hint of what the fans want to see. Hardy wins with 57%. Kozlov on his own gets 5%. The triple threat happened at Survivor Series, but it was the stairwell incident, which still wasn’t the worst match of the year no matter what Dave Meltzer wants you to believe.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Jeff Hardy

HHH takes him into the corner and says Jeff gets so close but can’t get there. Twist of Fate is blocked as they’re pretty fast paced to start us off. Fans are completely behind Hardy. That could have been the Wrestlemania moment, it really could have been. Not sure if it should have been, but it could have been. Jeff goes for the Whisper in the Wind but gets shoved to the floor.

Game goes after the shoulder for some psychology and Hardy is in trouble. So much for that as he turns it around to take over. I barely remember that happening, which isn’t a good sign as someone taking over should be something that is a good thing. A forward suplex gets two which the crowd thought could be a finish apparently. In a cool spot, HHH countered the slingshot dropkick into a spinebuster.

HHH busts out the Crossface because he’s HHH and can invoke murderers. The purple hair is weird looking to see in a Crossface. Hardy is about out cold but he YELLS and isn’t out yet. He rolls backwards and manages to get a two out of it in a nice move. We hit the floor and HHH hits the steps in a pretty weak looking bump. Poetry in Motion up against the railing takes HHH down.

Whisper in the Wind more or less misses but that’s never stopped them before. He does it again for a two count as HHH is in trouble. There’s the slingshot dropkick which I’ve always liked for some reason. Twist of Fate and Pedigree are both countered and a rollup gets two for Hardy. And now we get a sleeper. It was off before I got the word “now” typed. Twist gets two.

Swanton hits but the second one gets knees. Hardy is a big stupid head of a person. That must freaking kill the knees and back too when he lands on them like that. Pedigree is blocked again and a mule kick puts HHH on the floor. Swanton doesn’t work again and in a cool spot, HHH hooks the Pedigree while Hardy is crotched on the top. Jeff can’t counter while he’s pulled down from there and it’s over.

Rating: B-. Solid here but this feud was reaching the point where Hardy looked bad because he couldn’t beat him. Allegedly HHH wouldn’t job to him, so they had to bring in Edge to be the month long transitional champion. This was a decent enough match though as Hardy was more of a wrestler than a high flier here which made things much better from a main event perspective. Good match but hardly a classic or anything like Ross wants us to believe.

Cena is STILL coming back at Survivor Series. That hasn’t changed in the last hour and a half or so.

The referee for the main event will be Orton, Michaels or Austin. Why do they both having these polls? Why not what shirt should Austin wear as referee?

The recap video more or less just says Batista is awesome and that he wants the title back. Does Batista vs. Jericho just sound completely boring to anyone other than me? This video comes off like there’s no real story here at all as they just wanted to say here’s your main event now pretend to care about what we’re talking about.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Batista

Lillian looks very good in a short silver dress. I think you get that Austin won the poll. Jericho looks very Canadian here. I have no idea what I mean by that either. Naturally Austin wins in a landslide and Jericho just looks like a sad panda. The bell rings and Jericho yells at Austin. The Canadian walks out and tries to leave. The table from earlier where Taker went through it is just laying in pieces there and looks funny for some reason.

Austin says if he gets counted out or disqualified then Batista is champion. Uh….really? Austin using rules instead of threatening to come out there and kick has ass? Really? Nice baseball slide by Jericho and Big Dave is down on the floor. Springboard dropkick completely misses though and Batista’s leg gets caught in the ropes. This is kind of going nowhere so far.

There’s a story here now, but seriously, Jericho vs. Batista just does nothing at all for me as a fan and it’s kind of failing. Chris switches knees in the middle of the match which is just odd. He then hooks what is more or less a Tazmission which gets him nowhere. This just isn’t interesting at all. Batista tries to imitate Undertaker with the Last Ride out of the corner but it doesn’t work.

Can’t you hear the enthusiasm in my voice here? The leg is just fine now as a powerslam hits for Batista. Ah that’s right I’m supposed to limp. Good animal! Walls of Jericho go on and of course he won’t quit. Austin pulls Jericho off when he won’t break it and we get something censored. This thing is DRAGGING.

Batista’s shoulder hits the post as we play switch the limb for awhile. He comes off the top with a shoulder block. Big Dave I mean. That would be freaking scary to see coming at you if nothing else. Austin goes down and the Codebreaker hits. Here’s Shawn to take forever to count, since apparently he’s a referee tonight too. Superkick is teased but Batista hits the spear.

And here’s JBL of all people to stop the pin. Randy Orton marks the third run-in in the match and Jericho hits Batista with the belt for two. Well at least something is happening now. Stunner for Orton and I like how he took it as he never left his feet. Stunner for Jericho and a spinebuster too. Batista Bomb ends Jericho which was COMEPLETELY unexpected. It was also completely meh but whatever. He would lose it eight days later and Jericho would drop it to Cena in the most uninteresting title change I can remember in a long time.

Rating: D+. It’s ok at best but that’s it. This just DRAGGED for about 12 minutes until Austin went down. Had it not been for him I shudder to think what this would have been like. The leg and shoulder things went nowhere at all and the whole thing just never got anywhere. It’s not terrible I guess, but sweet merciful crap this was boring.

Overall Rating: D+. Total meh show here and I think that’s the most times I’ve ever used that word in a single day. This show was ok but it was ok at best. Batista is just completely uninteresting as world champion so thankfully they took it off him in just over a week. I’ve seen worse shows but this just wasn’t interesting at all. There’s some ok stuff, but you won’t miss anything at all if you don’t see it.

That’s another series done and the only thing I can think of to say is the same thing I’ve said about these shows for years: they don’t belong on PPV. They’d be ok as TV specials I guess, but there’s just no point at all to making these PPVs. The voting stuff really adds nothing at all to the shows and they’re just boring for the most part. You get some good matches on occasion, but nothing that you couldn’t see on more or less any other given PPV. This series wasn’t really good and while there’s some ok stuff in it, there’s really nothing worth going out of your way to see. It’s an ok concept, but leave this on TV like they did a few months ago and it’ll be much more worthwhile. No Way Out, a FAR more interesting series of shows is the next series I’m doing so until then, I still will be searching for a catchphrase to end these with.