Happy Birthday To Me+ Santo Reviews His Birthday Presents

[Big Papa Santo]

I seriously just grabbed a beer, and lit a candle on a cupcake. My fiancee is at work(Don't worry i'm sure good ole Santo can pull out a present from her tonight...do you get it?...How about now? Ok moving on) And I didn't even care to make a party with my friends, so lets reflect on my life. I'm now 26, i've been watching old episodes of 1999 Law and Order all day, and I didn't get one damn present......not even a "Thank You" From the KGB for being a sleeper agent here in America while we are waiting to take over your pitiful country. Not even some neighborhood kids writing "Go home Commie" on my door, not even a little token of appreciation for living 26 years. 2-6 years. You really put your life into perspetive when you have almost lived longer than Jimi Hendrix. Well i'm being overly dramatic, I did get some presents,

Remington Pivot Flex Razor- From: Sister
I don't even have a beard. NEXT

Hulk Hogan "My Life Outside The Ring"- From: Dad
At first I was like, well atleast its the thought that counts, and then I read that he picked it up in a bargain bin for $5.99, NEXT

Paul Harveys America- From: Sister(Other)
What? NEXT

Literally just 1 Black cigar in a bag- From: Mom
Bad enough that I don't smoke, but she literally just took one from a box of cigars. NEXT

Applebees $20 Gift-card- From: Brother
He does realize that we live in the black part of Baltimore right? NEXT

Motown: The Complete Anthology- From: Fiancee
Weird that my future-wife knows more about me than any of my other family do, by far the best gift i got.

Dislcaimer: I know that I sound like an ungrateful asshole, but all this stuff excluding the Giftcard and the Motown Anthology, were less than $15. I still love my family though.

 

[The Crock]

You ass.

Happy birthday.

 

[¡Roján!]

what is this i dont even

 

[Uncle Phatso]

A review of my gifts for my birthday.

My mother- Nothing
My family- Nothing
My friends- Nothing
My girlfriend- Nothing

Quit bitching, be happy. You are one year closer to getting off this rock. Happy Birthday.

 

[ScreaminNormanSmiley]

Yes, but people actually love Santo, so he rightfully should expect more from them.

 

[klunderbunker]

Heaven forbid they're not expensive. I mean, how dare they think about you on your birthday and not spend money on you. What jerks!

Seriously, grow up.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Yes, but people actually love Santo, so he rightfully should expect more from them.

Yeah, its only fitting.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Ungrateful? First off, this thread is meant to be satirical, I mean my birthday isn't that far from Christmas so its understandable why I didn't get a Ferrari or a yacht, hell its not like im a better gift-giver than my family. I'm grateful for everything else that they have given me, my parents who even though were immigrants gave me and my siblings an amazing childhood, my amazing siblings who I know that I can go to for anything, and my amazing fiancee who will be giving me the gift of a wonderful child. They honestly don't even need to give me gifts because they have already given me so much. Again, I love all of these people and this thread isn't a totally serious one.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

I'm thoughtful, I would have bought you a reasonable amount of mayo.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

I'm thoughtful, I would have bought you a reasonable amount of mayo.

See people, at least this guy knows what to get me.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

See people, at least this guy knows what to get me.

Don't think I would forget you.

I would have bought you a giant portrait of EL Santos with the colors of the Russian all over it.

 

[Big Papa Santo]

Don't think I would forget you.

I would have bought you a giant portrait of Dos Santos with the colors of the Russian all over it.

Thats my boy, and its El Santo, the Lucha Libre legend.

 

[Paralyzer Z]

Thats my boy.

Hold on I mad a mistake I meant to say El Santo.

 

[Dave]

I thought it was a good read. Keep up the good work, funny man.