klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Greed
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
So here you are: the final WCW PPV. The company would be bought by Vince in less than a week and Vince would be on Nitro in 8 days. The main event here is more or less inconsequential but its DDP vs. Steiner in a falls count anywhere match for the title. I think the company knew it was dead at this point but no one wanted to admit it. The TV slot was about to die and no one cared here but its famous in wrestling history since its the last WCW show, so lets get to it.
This was around the time that they stopped calling their shows anything sensible like Souled Out or Uncensored and went with Sin and Greed respectively. What they have to do with this show is never explained but thats par for the course at this point.
Page says his idea is the Diamond Cutter. Yep thats it.
The arena looks TINY. Tony says if its pro wrestling it must be Greed. What the hell does that even mean?
Kwee Wee vs. Jason Jett
Jett is more commonly known as EZ Money from ECW and would get a solid push in the final weeks of the company where he was fairly awesome. Jett hits a huge plancha immediately and gets the crowd going. Its amusing to hear the announcers talk about the future of WCW since that would be about 8 days at this point. Jett is more or less awesome so they put him with Kwee Wee who won the Miss TNA pageant in their early days.
He misses a suicide dive and Jett hits a DDT off the apron to continue dominating. Jett gets launched to the floor and Kwee Wee snaps, going into his zone. He gets compared to Thesz for the Press. Kwee Wee morphs into Angry Alan which is his angry side or something like that. Tony says he goes too far because of a reverse chinlock. HES SO ANGRY!!!
Apparently Falls Count Anywhere was added earlier tonight. Before then it was just a regular match. Wow and they wonder why they never got any buys. Jett goes for a powerbomb off the top but Wee reverses in mid air into a rana which looked awesome. Hes a lot better than he was built up to be and certainly is here. And now hes out on the floor. I must have missed something. A top rope elbow misses (Jett played possum and signaled to the fans to be quiet about it which you NEVER see anymore) and the Crash Landing, a release vertical suplex, ends it.
Rating: B. For an opener between two guys youll never hear from again, this was a damn good opener. The Cruiserweight stuff could have been very good in the next few months given who they had in there that was going well. It also shows the issues of the company as theyre in financial peril and they bring in new guys still. This was a very good and fun match though, so Id bet its also the highlight of the show.
We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Title Tournament which sets up the first title match here.
Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio
Skipper is a Deion Sanders character, even having the same catchphrases. Romeo is a guy that is famous for nothing and dances a lot. Im sure you know the other two. Also in the tournament was a team called Air Raid, which was comprised of two guys named Air Paris and Air Styles. Air Styles would be in the first match for a company called TNA in 15 months under the name AJ Styles.
Kidman and Romeo start us off with Kidman being far more awesome than Romeo. Then again he went home and screwed Torrie Wilson so that kind of makes it impossible to overcome. I think I was the only person that liked Skipper. Reys knees still work here so hes completely awesome. Hes also unmasked here but he could still move.
We hit the floor and you can really see how small the arena is. The faces hit a pair of running dives off the stage to take out both guys which looked awesome. They add in a double chokeslam (WTF?) on Skipper for two. Romeo is pretty much the arrogant jerk and does really weak covers. Hudson keeps trying to tell us how great these belts are and how important they are which is really funny yet also annoying.
Kidman takes over again with a sitout spinebuster from the middle rope. Hot tag to Rey and he cleans a lot of houses. Romeo hits a dive, leaving Kidman in the ring but he hits a huge dive to take out everyone. Everybody is down on the floor as we kind of stop for a bit. The match more or less breaks down at this point. Skipper has had a bad shoulder for most of the match.
Tiger suplex into a guillotine legdrop gets two on Rey. I thought that would have been it. The faces hit a double team move for two as well. Good freaking night I cant stand the Bronco Buster. Its just freaking annoying. Kidman and Skipper go to the floor but back in the ring Romeo hits Emerald Flosion for the pin and the first titles.
Rating: B. Another solid match here as they put both matches that they had that were exciting on first so that the exciting guys didnt steal the spotlight from the major guys later on. Well why would you do that as it might make people think that these guys are good. This was a good match though with lots of high spots that got the crowd going after they did that just before. This is another thing WCW messed up on: match placement. You have a fast paced opener and then you put this on maybe 4th or so to keep the crowd going or wake them up a bit later. Now theyre spent 35 minutes into the night with over two hours left. Its simple stuff like that which can make or break a PPV.
Buff Bagwell goes into Flairs locker room. This is during the Magnificent Seven angle, including the HUGE star of Road Warrior Animal. Flair has spiked hair here too. Theyre feuding with Dustin and Dusty Rhodes. See where were at here? Someone jumped them last week and theyre mad. This didnt ever get resolution I dont think. Its a documentary of some kind.
Stacy Keibler is dating Shawn Stasiak now and is Ms. Hancock again. Bam Bam Bigelow is mad about having to listen to her complain or something, setting this up.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says hes great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. Its a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.
Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know its a dark time for the company (ok thats an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. Its really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.
Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Cant you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but heres Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.
Rating: D. Boring as hell match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. Thats about all Ive got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.
The Cat is here and his girl is ticked off at Kanyon.
The new Cruiserweight Tag Champions are WAY too happy with their new belts but shake hands before it gets too homosexual.
We kind of recap Team Canada vs. Morrus/Konnan. Yeah whatever.
Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan
Team Canada is Mike Awesome and Lance Storm, since after a lot of months fighting for American, Awesome remembered he was Canadian and joined them. Its that kind of a company. No anthem plays for Storm and hes mad about it. Morrus is the laughing man again and no one cares at all. He runs out alone and here comes Konnan like 10 seconds later for no apparent reason.
Awesome and Morrus start and its a brawl all the way. Cant you see how riveting this match is going to be? I didnt know Konnan had a job at this point actually. The heels do their blind switch which is as basic of a heel tactic as there ever has been. Tony talks about how Morrus and Konnan are locker room leaders. For some reason that comes off as bullshit to me.
Konnan is in trouble now as his team hasnt had control at all the entire time here. The fans chant USA to get their Mexican guy fighting harder. They stop as I guess they realize their idiocy. Storm misses a dropkick so bad that it just looks awful. Naturally it gets two so at least that wasnt the end. A piledriver that belonged on a celebrity gets two again as this is just not interesting at all.
Konnan has a cover and doesnt realize it so he rolls off to tag Morrus in. Awesome Splash gets two as this squash needs to end. An American gives a Canadian a German suplex but cant hit the moonsault. Storms interference lets the running Awesome Bomb end it.
Rating: D+. Ive seen worse. Its certainly not great but it could have been worse I guess. Was there supposed to be a point here? If there was I certainly didnt see it. Storm and Awesome were so painfully wasted in WCW and its just pathetic to see so. Total filler here with no point at all.
Dusty and Dustin are getting ready for the kiss my ass match as he has burritos brought in. Yep this is their idea of comedy.
The documentary continues as we talk to the US Champion, Rick Steiner. What does that tell you here?
Palumbo and OHaire say theyll keep the tag titles. Luger had been bitching backstage about having to job to these rookies. Keep that in mind.
Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero
They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. Hes Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has a kick ass finisher called the Vertebreaker.
They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but its not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.
Chavo takes over and apparently hes the heel. Its not a good sign when about halfway through this match and Im just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I dont get this crowd: they just dont seem to care about anything at all and its rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.
Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.
Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.
Jarrett continues the whole documentary thing by talking to Flair. For some reason I get Sam Malone from Cheers here out of Flair. No connection at all but thats what I got there.
Booker says hell win tonight and get the final title hes never won.
Like geniuses they show us a wide shot where the upper arena is totally empty.
We recap the feud with Totally Buff vs. Palumbo/OHaire. The only thing I can tell here is that Luger helped get Palumbo here and now theyre more popular so Luger is mad.
Tag Titles; Totally Buff vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean OHaire
Its Luger and Bagwell as Totally Buff. Luger just looks old and worthless here. Bagwell has to be one of the longest tenured guys in the company at this point. They invoke the name of Goldberg, knowing hes gone. The champions have techno music here which is kind of odd. Its a big brawl to start and the champions are dominating. Superkick from Palumbo sets up a pair of Seanton Bombs to end this in less than a minute. This was Lugers punishment for being a whiny bitch like I told you about. Yeah they start punishing guys 5 days before theyre bought. Nice guys. No rating of course but Palumbo looked good in the tights.
Steiner is warming up and yells at Page about everything and is of course is scary here.
We recap Kanyon beating up Cats chick Ms. Jones. Also the big black stereotypical bodyguard of Kanyon was involved somehow.
We have to delay the match as Totally Buff is down still. Holy crushing Batman.
The Cat vs. Kanyon
To this day Im not sure if Miss Jones was hot or not. They start brawling on the stage and Kanyons bad hand is worked on. He has a bad hand? Good to know I suppose. I never got the appeal of Miller. He wasnt a good talker and could only kick. All Cat to start and very limited responses from the crowd. Why did no one call his mama? No one ever did that and Ive always wondered why. It cant be hard or anything like that.
Kanyon hits a top rope clothesline to take over as the crowd just does not care. Its actually really weird to hear them being this silent for almost passable wrestling. Theyre not even booing. There is just nothing going on here. Theres action and theres decent stuff, but at the end I just think so what. What here is going to mean anything? I dont mean for the company as nothing matters, but this just feels like two guys doing wrestling moves on each other for no apparent reason.
Cat dances and kicks a lot. He has a James Brown elbow. Give me a break. A big kick which may have been his finisher gets two. Kanyon puts his feet on the ropes and gets three but the referee calls it off because of the feet. Rollup for Cat gets two as I want this OVER. Ah ok THERE is the finisher for two.
A cast shot gets two as I am begging for this match to end. Kanyon hits the referee and Miss Jones gets in. She of course accidently kicks Cat and then fights Kanyon. A big spinning kick from Cat ends it. See what I mean about the whole he can only kick thing? Its the same issue I have with Kaval but not so bad in the NXT case. Kanyon jumps Miller afterwards and the I guess former Kanyon bodyguard makes the save.
Rating: D. Like I said it was ok from a wrestling perspective but GOOD NIGHT this was boring. I kept watching the whole time and wanted something to care about. Miller was pushed forever in the vain hopes that someone cared about him. This was just twelve more minutes of nothing at all.
Bagwell and Luger argue.
The Rhodes talk about Dustys ass after he ate those burritos. Moving on.
Booker was out hurt and came back, challenging for the US Title. He might be hurt. Thats about it.
US Title: Booker T vs. Rick Steiner
Yeah Rick Steiner is the US Champion in 2001. Like I said, you get the idea that things werent that good around this time in the company. Booker is thrown into the front row to start the match as Steiner is dominant early. He was known for not selling ANYTHING at this time and it seems that way to start here. Steiner looks weird without the headgear.
Booker lands a few punches and Steiner doesnt even go backwards. Double Underhook Powerbomb gets two and its chinlock time two and a half minutes in. Steiner kicks him again to stop having to sell. Hey look its another rest hold. Booker hits an Angle Slam and Steiner beats him to his feet. A belly to belly gives Rick control back since he has to have it because otherwise .well Steiner wouldnt have control.
Were on rest hold #3 in three minutes and 30 seconds. Booker fights out of it and Steiner shrugs off elbows. Even GOLDBERG sold more than this. Forearm and Steiner is up in less than two seconds. He dead weights him on a spinebuster so Booker looks weak as hell with it. The Axe Kick is called the Ghetto Blaster, which is the name of Bad News Browns finisher from back in the day.
Steiner is of course back on offense maybe 5 seconds later with a German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Steiner cant get a cover since hes dominating at the time. Shane Douglas pops up and hits Rick with the cast. HE DOESNT EVEN FALL DOWN. He swings but winds up in the Book End (Rock Bottom) for the pin. This gave Booker every heavyweight title in the company.
Rating: D-. Thats out of pity for Booker. Total and complete lack of professionalism from Steiner here as he was knocked back maybe a total of 3 inches by about ten punches from Booker. He wouldnt even sell a cast to the back of the head. This was ridiculous to say the least and Booker did everything he could here but there was no way this was going to be passable. Just an awful match, but Steiner is the vast majority of the problem here.
Buff is in Steiners locker room and is out cold. Animal is looking down at him and Luger suggests it was Animal. Pretty sure the attackers identity was never revealed.
We recap the Rhodes vs. Flair/Jarrett feud. This included a Dusty imitation by Jarrett which is like a requirement to be a pro wrestler. They just dont like each other with no real explanation.
Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair
The losers have to kiss the winners ass. Flair is in a Hawaiian shirt as we talk about burritos. Something tells me this is going to be a comedy match minus the comedy. Animal is here too. Dustys music is a cover/parody of his WWF music of all things. Uh sure why not. Jarrett is fighting on his own apparently. Ok never mind no he wont be. Animal gets thrown out before we get started.
Dustin TOWERS over his dad. Jarrett and Dustin start us off. The faces are of course dressed in cowboy stuff since thats all they can wear. Let the crotch grabbing begin! Flair comes in and beats up Dustin for a bit as we wait for the hot tag to the guy in the mid-50s. Dusty comes in and gets a standing ovation. Yeah Flair vs. Dusty, the main event of Starrcade EIGHTY FOUR is the biggest thing of the night. Thats a horrible sign for a wrestling company.
Dusty cleans house before Dustin comes in. Shattered Dreams is blocked by a low blow. Its called the Dust Buster here to continue making my head hurt. Jarrett goes after the knee since everyone has to use a Figure Four. And there it is. Dusty of course does nothing about it because that would be naughty. Both guys get tags after the hold is broken and Dusty cleans house.
Dustys big elbow gets two. Flair shouts NO but doesnt roll out of the way or anything like that. I guess that would make too much sense or something. A pair of low blows and the heels go for a double figure four, which fails. Dustin manages to screw up a small package but pins Flair anyway. Post match Dusty drops his pants and kind of does a Stinkface but its awful. Can we move on please?
Rating: D-. Somehow this was better than the previous few matches. Dusty is the high spot of the show though and thats never a good sign. It says that no one buys the young guys and would rather see the old guys from like 15 years ago. Its the worst thing you can have and the idea is to have the old guys put the young guys over. WCW never got that but whatever. Match sucked.
Recap of Steiner vs. everyone. Steiner has eliminated all of the faces but DDP so thats his goal tonight.
WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner is the young guy here at 38. Falls Count Anywhere and its No DQ. Theyve remixed DDPs music here because a catchy theme song simply wasnt needed. Slugout to start and Page wins early. Top rope clothesline for two. They brawl to the announce table and Steiner takes over. Now were in the crowd. The falls counting anywhere is a good stipulation here as it makes the brawling seem important. Theres a brawl by the Spanish Announce Table. Sure why not.
Steiner steals a crutch from a kid wearing a DDP shirt and shoves him down. How appropriate. Page puts him through a table for two. Theres a trash can with trash in it. Theres a new one. Steiner shoves a fan and steals something from him to hit DDP in the head. No clue what it was but it looked like a vinyl record. This is an ok match but its not a classic or anything.
We hit the fifth belly to belly because we need like 9 in a Steiner match. Page hits some punches to come back as we have to be close to the ending here. Feet on the ropes gets two for Scott. NICE jumping DDT for Page gets no count but a sign for the Cutter. Diamond Cutter hits on the second attempt but Rick Steiner makes the save. AIR PAGE as he dives over the top to take out Rick.
The referee goes down but gets a two on a rollup by Page. Down goes the referee again and a belt shot makes Page bleed for two and a BIG pop from the crowd on the kick out. And heres a Boston Crab. Ok then. Page is WAY busted. The horrible chinlock doesnt work so Rick punches Page again. Its a No DQ match so why does the referee have to be distracted? Lead pipe shots to Page sets up another Recliner to end it.
Rating: C. Not bad here as it was just a big old brawl for the most part. I have no idea what the booking was supposed to do as there were no faces left for Steiner as he beat Booker for the title and everyone else was gone. This wasnt much of a match as it was really just a big and long fight. Still good though as Page had the crowd behind him. Can we get Rick shot now though so we dont have to see him again?
Overall Rating: D+. Well, it didnt suck. Thats certainly true as there were two very good matches to start and a good main event. In between though .eh it wasnt that bad I guess. The Cruiserweight match was ok and there was some other decent stuff in here also. The ass kissing match was AWFUL as was a lot of the other stuff. Its more good than bad, but not by much at all. I liked it and it went by quickly so thats a good thing. This wasnt terrible, but given that they were done in 8 days it really doesnt mean much. Not worth seeing although the first two matches are good.
Date: March 18, 2001
Location: Jacksonville Municipal Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 5,030
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson
So here you are: the final WCW PPV. The company would be bought by Vince in less than a week and Vince would be on Nitro in 8 days. The main event here is more or less inconsequential but its DDP vs. Steiner in a falls count anywhere match for the title. I think the company knew it was dead at this point but no one wanted to admit it. The TV slot was about to die and no one cared here but its famous in wrestling history since its the last WCW show, so lets get to it.
This was around the time that they stopped calling their shows anything sensible like Souled Out or Uncensored and went with Sin and Greed respectively. What they have to do with this show is never explained but thats par for the course at this point.
Page says his idea is the Diamond Cutter. Yep thats it.
The arena looks TINY. Tony says if its pro wrestling it must be Greed. What the hell does that even mean?
Kwee Wee vs. Jason Jett
Jett is more commonly known as EZ Money from ECW and would get a solid push in the final weeks of the company where he was fairly awesome. Jett hits a huge plancha immediately and gets the crowd going. Its amusing to hear the announcers talk about the future of WCW since that would be about 8 days at this point. Jett is more or less awesome so they put him with Kwee Wee who won the Miss TNA pageant in their early days.
He misses a suicide dive and Jett hits a DDT off the apron to continue dominating. Jett gets launched to the floor and Kwee Wee snaps, going into his zone. He gets compared to Thesz for the Press. Kwee Wee morphs into Angry Alan which is his angry side or something like that. Tony says he goes too far because of a reverse chinlock. HES SO ANGRY!!!
Apparently Falls Count Anywhere was added earlier tonight. Before then it was just a regular match. Wow and they wonder why they never got any buys. Jett goes for a powerbomb off the top but Wee reverses in mid air into a rana which looked awesome. Hes a lot better than he was built up to be and certainly is here. And now hes out on the floor. I must have missed something. A top rope elbow misses (Jett played possum and signaled to the fans to be quiet about it which you NEVER see anymore) and the Crash Landing, a release vertical suplex, ends it.
Rating: B. For an opener between two guys youll never hear from again, this was a damn good opener. The Cruiserweight stuff could have been very good in the next few months given who they had in there that was going well. It also shows the issues of the company as theyre in financial peril and they bring in new guys still. This was a very good and fun match though, so Id bet its also the highlight of the show.
We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Title Tournament which sets up the first title match here.
Cruiserweight Tag Titles: Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio
Skipper is a Deion Sanders character, even having the same catchphrases. Romeo is a guy that is famous for nothing and dances a lot. Im sure you know the other two. Also in the tournament was a team called Air Raid, which was comprised of two guys named Air Paris and Air Styles. Air Styles would be in the first match for a company called TNA in 15 months under the name AJ Styles.
Kidman and Romeo start us off with Kidman being far more awesome than Romeo. Then again he went home and screwed Torrie Wilson so that kind of makes it impossible to overcome. I think I was the only person that liked Skipper. Reys knees still work here so hes completely awesome. Hes also unmasked here but he could still move.
We hit the floor and you can really see how small the arena is. The faces hit a pair of running dives off the stage to take out both guys which looked awesome. They add in a double chokeslam (WTF?) on Skipper for two. Romeo is pretty much the arrogant jerk and does really weak covers. Hudson keeps trying to tell us how great these belts are and how important they are which is really funny yet also annoying.
Kidman takes over again with a sitout spinebuster from the middle rope. Hot tag to Rey and he cleans a lot of houses. Romeo hits a dive, leaving Kidman in the ring but he hits a huge dive to take out everyone. Everybody is down on the floor as we kind of stop for a bit. The match more or less breaks down at this point. Skipper has had a bad shoulder for most of the match.
Tiger suplex into a guillotine legdrop gets two on Rey. I thought that would have been it. The faces hit a double team move for two as well. Good freaking night I cant stand the Bronco Buster. Its just freaking annoying. Kidman and Skipper go to the floor but back in the ring Romeo hits Emerald Flosion for the pin and the first titles.
Rating: B. Another solid match here as they put both matches that they had that were exciting on first so that the exciting guys didnt steal the spotlight from the major guys later on. Well why would you do that as it might make people think that these guys are good. This was a good match though with lots of high spots that got the crowd going after they did that just before. This is another thing WCW messed up on: match placement. You have a fast paced opener and then you put this on maybe 4th or so to keep the crowd going or wake them up a bit later. Now theyre spent 35 minutes into the night with over two hours left. Its simple stuff like that which can make or break a PPV.
Buff Bagwell goes into Flairs locker room. This is during the Magnificent Seven angle, including the HUGE star of Road Warrior Animal. Flair has spiked hair here too. Theyre feuding with Dustin and Dusty Rhodes. See where were at here? Someone jumped them last week and theyre mad. This didnt ever get resolution I dont think. Its a documentary of some kind.
Stacy Keibler is dating Shawn Stasiak now and is Ms. Hancock again. Bam Bam Bigelow is mad about having to listen to her complain or something, setting this up.
Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Oh please make it quick. Stasiak says hes great and is the Mecca of Manhood apparently. This is the Shawn and Stacy Show and we see why Stasiak never gets to talk. Its a shame that this match had to happen. We had two very good matches to start us off and then we got to look at Stacy who looks hot like that. And that ends the good stuff here as Bigelow is just WAY past his usefulness at this point.
Is there a reason why this is on a PPV? I know its a dark time for the company (ok thats an understatement) but seriously? Tony keeps calling this The Greed Pay Per View. Its really weird sounding. We pause to see if Stasiak needs a replacement tooth due to a clothesline. And now he wants a time out. Bigelow hits a dropkick to the thigh or so and we hit the floor again.
Bigelow gives chase this time and we brawl for a bit. Cant you tell how riveting this stuff is so far? Stasiak hits a top rope cross body but stops to pose. Top rope headbutt kills Stasiak but heres Stacy to look hot. She throws Stasiak hairspray and a neckbreaker ends it.
Rating: D. Boring as hell match here with nothing of note happening. Again, this is what they went with on PPV? At least Stacy looked good. Thats about all Ive got as far as good stuff goes here. The match was just boring and never got going or was never good or anything like that. Terrible match but at least it was short.
The Cat is here and his girl is ticked off at Kanyon.
The new Cruiserweight Tag Champions are WAY too happy with their new belts but shake hands before it gets too homosexual.
We kind of recap Team Canada vs. Morrus/Konnan. Yeah whatever.
Team Canada vs. Hugh Morrus/Konnan
Team Canada is Mike Awesome and Lance Storm, since after a lot of months fighting for American, Awesome remembered he was Canadian and joined them. Its that kind of a company. No anthem plays for Storm and hes mad about it. Morrus is the laughing man again and no one cares at all. He runs out alone and here comes Konnan like 10 seconds later for no apparent reason.
Awesome and Morrus start and its a brawl all the way. Cant you see how riveting this match is going to be? I didnt know Konnan had a job at this point actually. The heels do their blind switch which is as basic of a heel tactic as there ever has been. Tony talks about how Morrus and Konnan are locker room leaders. For some reason that comes off as bullshit to me.
Konnan is in trouble now as his team hasnt had control at all the entire time here. The fans chant USA to get their Mexican guy fighting harder. They stop as I guess they realize their idiocy. Storm misses a dropkick so bad that it just looks awful. Naturally it gets two so at least that wasnt the end. A piledriver that belonged on a celebrity gets two again as this is just not interesting at all.
Konnan has a cover and doesnt realize it so he rolls off to tag Morrus in. Awesome Splash gets two as this squash needs to end. An American gives a Canadian a German suplex but cant hit the moonsault. Storms interference lets the running Awesome Bomb end it.
Rating: D+. Ive seen worse. Its certainly not great but it could have been worse I guess. Was there supposed to be a point here? If there was I certainly didnt see it. Storm and Awesome were so painfully wasted in WCW and its just pathetic to see so. Total filler here with no point at all.
Dusty and Dustin are getting ready for the kiss my ass match as he has burritos brought in. Yep this is their idea of comedy.
The documentary continues as we talk to the US Champion, Rick Steiner. What does that tell you here?
Palumbo and OHaire say theyll keep the tag titles. Luger had been bitching backstage about having to job to these rookies. Keep that in mind.
Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Chavo Guerrero
They put the wrong graphic up for the match just to show how inept they were here. Helms and Guerrero were more or less perfect in this division at this time so this should rock. Helms has his own rap song and his own dance team called the Sugar Babies. Hes Sugar Shane Helms if that clears up anything else. He also has a kick ass finisher called the Vertebreaker.
They start off rather slowly with Shane being a fast paced guy and Chavo being more of a Dean Malenko style guy. Very nice technical and mat basted stuff gets us to a standoff. Shane is a heel here I think but its not exactly clear. Regal Stretch, which is different than the STFU, by Chavo and Helms is in trouble.
Chavo takes over and apparently hes the heel. Its not a good sign when about halfway through this match and Im just getting that. Huge dive to the floor gets no reaction. I dont get this crowd: they just dont seem to care about anything at all and its rather annoying. Shane does some basic stuff to take us back to even and both guys are down. Decent match so far.
Shane keeps kicking out and the Tornado DDT is blocked. Nightmare on Helm Street, the Eye of the Hurricane later on, gets two. Top rope cross body gets two in a cool looking move. Shane did it which I left out somehow. Vertebreaker hits on Chavo to let us hear that rap song again as Shane wins the title which I think was the final title change until the WWE stuff.
Rating: C+. Entertaining match but it never clicked to get it up to that top level. This was pretty good here though although the crowd just flat out did not care. I think you can chalk this up to the company just being dead at this point though. The match was good though, but it just never really got off the ground well enough to be very good. Solid use of about 15 minutes though.
Jarrett continues the whole documentary thing by talking to Flair. For some reason I get Sam Malone from Cheers here out of Flair. No connection at all but thats what I got there.
Booker says hell win tonight and get the final title hes never won.
Like geniuses they show us a wide shot where the upper arena is totally empty.
We recap the feud with Totally Buff vs. Palumbo/OHaire. The only thing I can tell here is that Luger helped get Palumbo here and now theyre more popular so Luger is mad.
Tag Titles; Totally Buff vs. Chuck Palumbo/Sean OHaire
Its Luger and Bagwell as Totally Buff. Luger just looks old and worthless here. Bagwell has to be one of the longest tenured guys in the company at this point. They invoke the name of Goldberg, knowing hes gone. The champions have techno music here which is kind of odd. Its a big brawl to start and the champions are dominating. Superkick from Palumbo sets up a pair of Seanton Bombs to end this in less than a minute. This was Lugers punishment for being a whiny bitch like I told you about. Yeah they start punishing guys 5 days before theyre bought. Nice guys. No rating of course but Palumbo looked good in the tights.
Steiner is warming up and yells at Page about everything and is of course is scary here.
We recap Kanyon beating up Cats chick Ms. Jones. Also the big black stereotypical bodyguard of Kanyon was involved somehow.
We have to delay the match as Totally Buff is down still. Holy crushing Batman.
The Cat vs. Kanyon
To this day Im not sure if Miss Jones was hot or not. They start brawling on the stage and Kanyons bad hand is worked on. He has a bad hand? Good to know I suppose. I never got the appeal of Miller. He wasnt a good talker and could only kick. All Cat to start and very limited responses from the crowd. Why did no one call his mama? No one ever did that and Ive always wondered why. It cant be hard or anything like that.
Kanyon hits a top rope clothesline to take over as the crowd just does not care. Its actually really weird to hear them being this silent for almost passable wrestling. Theyre not even booing. There is just nothing going on here. Theres action and theres decent stuff, but at the end I just think so what. What here is going to mean anything? I dont mean for the company as nothing matters, but this just feels like two guys doing wrestling moves on each other for no apparent reason.
Cat dances and kicks a lot. He has a James Brown elbow. Give me a break. A big kick which may have been his finisher gets two. Kanyon puts his feet on the ropes and gets three but the referee calls it off because of the feet. Rollup for Cat gets two as I want this OVER. Ah ok THERE is the finisher for two.
A cast shot gets two as I am begging for this match to end. Kanyon hits the referee and Miss Jones gets in. She of course accidently kicks Cat and then fights Kanyon. A big spinning kick from Cat ends it. See what I mean about the whole he can only kick thing? Its the same issue I have with Kaval but not so bad in the NXT case. Kanyon jumps Miller afterwards and the I guess former Kanyon bodyguard makes the save.
Rating: D. Like I said it was ok from a wrestling perspective but GOOD NIGHT this was boring. I kept watching the whole time and wanted something to care about. Miller was pushed forever in the vain hopes that someone cared about him. This was just twelve more minutes of nothing at all.
Bagwell and Luger argue.
The Rhodes talk about Dustys ass after he ate those burritos. Moving on.
Booker was out hurt and came back, challenging for the US Title. He might be hurt. Thats about it.
US Title: Booker T vs. Rick Steiner
Yeah Rick Steiner is the US Champion in 2001. Like I said, you get the idea that things werent that good around this time in the company. Booker is thrown into the front row to start the match as Steiner is dominant early. He was known for not selling ANYTHING at this time and it seems that way to start here. Steiner looks weird without the headgear.
Booker lands a few punches and Steiner doesnt even go backwards. Double Underhook Powerbomb gets two and its chinlock time two and a half minutes in. Steiner kicks him again to stop having to sell. Hey look its another rest hold. Booker hits an Angle Slam and Steiner beats him to his feet. A belly to belly gives Rick control back since he has to have it because otherwise .well Steiner wouldnt have control.
Were on rest hold #3 in three minutes and 30 seconds. Booker fights out of it and Steiner shrugs off elbows. Even GOLDBERG sold more than this. Forearm and Steiner is up in less than two seconds. He dead weights him on a spinebuster so Booker looks weak as hell with it. The Axe Kick is called the Ghetto Blaster, which is the name of Bad News Browns finisher from back in the day.
Steiner is of course back on offense maybe 5 seconds later with a German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Steiner cant get a cover since hes dominating at the time. Shane Douglas pops up and hits Rick with the cast. HE DOESNT EVEN FALL DOWN. He swings but winds up in the Book End (Rock Bottom) for the pin. This gave Booker every heavyweight title in the company.
Rating: D-. Thats out of pity for Booker. Total and complete lack of professionalism from Steiner here as he was knocked back maybe a total of 3 inches by about ten punches from Booker. He wouldnt even sell a cast to the back of the head. This was ridiculous to say the least and Booker did everything he could here but there was no way this was going to be passable. Just an awful match, but Steiner is the vast majority of the problem here.
Buff is in Steiners locker room and is out cold. Animal is looking down at him and Luger suggests it was Animal. Pretty sure the attackers identity was never revealed.
We recap the Rhodes vs. Flair/Jarrett feud. This included a Dusty imitation by Jarrett which is like a requirement to be a pro wrestler. They just dont like each other with no real explanation.
Dusty Rhodes/Dustin Rhodes vs. Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair
The losers have to kiss the winners ass. Flair is in a Hawaiian shirt as we talk about burritos. Something tells me this is going to be a comedy match minus the comedy. Animal is here too. Dustys music is a cover/parody of his WWF music of all things. Uh sure why not. Jarrett is fighting on his own apparently. Ok never mind no he wont be. Animal gets thrown out before we get started.
Dustin TOWERS over his dad. Jarrett and Dustin start us off. The faces are of course dressed in cowboy stuff since thats all they can wear. Let the crotch grabbing begin! Flair comes in and beats up Dustin for a bit as we wait for the hot tag to the guy in the mid-50s. Dusty comes in and gets a standing ovation. Yeah Flair vs. Dusty, the main event of Starrcade EIGHTY FOUR is the biggest thing of the night. Thats a horrible sign for a wrestling company.
Dusty cleans house before Dustin comes in. Shattered Dreams is blocked by a low blow. Its called the Dust Buster here to continue making my head hurt. Jarrett goes after the knee since everyone has to use a Figure Four. And there it is. Dusty of course does nothing about it because that would be naughty. Both guys get tags after the hold is broken and Dusty cleans house.
Dustys big elbow gets two. Flair shouts NO but doesnt roll out of the way or anything like that. I guess that would make too much sense or something. A pair of low blows and the heels go for a double figure four, which fails. Dustin manages to screw up a small package but pins Flair anyway. Post match Dusty drops his pants and kind of does a Stinkface but its awful. Can we move on please?
Rating: D-. Somehow this was better than the previous few matches. Dusty is the high spot of the show though and thats never a good sign. It says that no one buys the young guys and would rather see the old guys from like 15 years ago. Its the worst thing you can have and the idea is to have the old guys put the young guys over. WCW never got that but whatever. Match sucked.
Recap of Steiner vs. everyone. Steiner has eliminated all of the faces but DDP so thats his goal tonight.
WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Steiner
Steiner is the young guy here at 38. Falls Count Anywhere and its No DQ. Theyve remixed DDPs music here because a catchy theme song simply wasnt needed. Slugout to start and Page wins early. Top rope clothesline for two. They brawl to the announce table and Steiner takes over. Now were in the crowd. The falls counting anywhere is a good stipulation here as it makes the brawling seem important. Theres a brawl by the Spanish Announce Table. Sure why not.
Steiner steals a crutch from a kid wearing a DDP shirt and shoves him down. How appropriate. Page puts him through a table for two. Theres a trash can with trash in it. Theres a new one. Steiner shoves a fan and steals something from him to hit DDP in the head. No clue what it was but it looked like a vinyl record. This is an ok match but its not a classic or anything.
We hit the fifth belly to belly because we need like 9 in a Steiner match. Page hits some punches to come back as we have to be close to the ending here. Feet on the ropes gets two for Scott. NICE jumping DDT for Page gets no count but a sign for the Cutter. Diamond Cutter hits on the second attempt but Rick Steiner makes the save. AIR PAGE as he dives over the top to take out Rick.
The referee goes down but gets a two on a rollup by Page. Down goes the referee again and a belt shot makes Page bleed for two and a BIG pop from the crowd on the kick out. And heres a Boston Crab. Ok then. Page is WAY busted. The horrible chinlock doesnt work so Rick punches Page again. Its a No DQ match so why does the referee have to be distracted? Lead pipe shots to Page sets up another Recliner to end it.
Rating: C. Not bad here as it was just a big old brawl for the most part. I have no idea what the booking was supposed to do as there were no faces left for Steiner as he beat Booker for the title and everyone else was gone. This wasnt much of a match as it was really just a big and long fight. Still good though as Page had the crowd behind him. Can we get Rick shot now though so we dont have to see him again?
Overall Rating: D+. Well, it didnt suck. Thats certainly true as there were two very good matches to start and a good main event. In between though .eh it wasnt that bad I guess. The Cruiserweight match was ok and there was some other decent stuff in here also. The ass kissing match was AWFUL as was a lot of the other stuff. Its more good than bad, but not by much at all. I liked it and it went by quickly so thats a good thing. This wasnt terrible, but given that they were done in 8 days it really doesnt mean much. Not worth seeing although the first two matches are good.
