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I blacked out. The last thing that I remembered was waiting for the cold embrace of death. I felt its touch on my skin. It crawled, as the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Nothing could have prepared me as I felt the breath being driven from my lungs. My voice caught in my throat. I fell to the floor in a heap. After what felt like an eternity, I slowly opened my eyes. I heard voices. There were people in the room. A nurse bent down to check on me. I remained motionless. But I heard another sound too, one that seemed to block out everything else. It was the sound of a heartbeat. A strong heartbeat. While Sasukes heart never stopped beating while comatose, it was always weak. Many medical professionals had not given him long to live. But the sound I was hearing now was that of a normal heartbeat. I heard gasps. One nurse screamed in shock.
Hes awake! By God hes awake!
I wanted to lift my head to get a better look, but I had no strength. I clenched my fist and tried in vain to pull myself to my feet. I couldnt even move myself forward one inch before collapsing back down onto the concrete.
Is this real? Is he really awake? Or am I dreaming?
I assumed that I had died and was now about to reunite with my old sensei in the afterlife. If so then that really sucked. I was prepared to die. I thought it was the only way to atone for what I had done. But it was all meaningless if Sasuke died too. Was I so worthless that my life couldnt even be traded for another? I didnt want to think about that. Suddenly the room became filled with people. No less than a dozen nurses and staff members were now crowded around Sasukes bed, taking his vitals. I still laid on the floor, forgotten in the moment, until one of the nurses turned towards me.
Miss, can you move?
I tried to open my mouth to respond, but all that came out were a few jumbled noises. Nothing resembling actual speech. I felt woozy. The room was starting to spin. I was glad I was already on the floor. It took two nurses to help me to my feet, and I collapsed under my own weight immediately. I could not walk. They led me to the chair beside Sasukes bed. I eyeballed a Styrofoam cup and did my best to point at it, while signally for something to drink.
Would you like some water?
I nodded, as another nurse approached me. He didnt appear to be hostile. He looked just as baffled by the situation as anyone else. I had been the only one in Sasukes room when the power had gone out. And when order had been restored, Sasuke had somehow woken from his coma. I imagine he had a few questions.
Miss, can you tell me what happened here?
I shook my head. I was just as baffled by the whole thing as everyone else. Another nurse handed me my glass of water and I downed it quickly. I rubbed by throat. It was sore. The male nurse nodded and left me be. This was one of those situations that might have been considered an act of God. A miracle. Something divine. Thats what I believed it was. And for whatever reason I had had been spared death.
I looked over and caught a glimpse of Sasukes face. His eyes were opened just slightly. He looked completely lethargic, but his vitals were beginning to stabilize. I tried to raise my hand to his, but I found that I still lacked the strength to move my body. I opened my mouth and managed to choke out his name.
SSah-uke?
I felt so elated, like the icy grip on my heart was finally starting to melt. And along with it went my pain, and my worries, and most importantly my guilt. I couldnt help but smile. I was so happy. I felt the tears beginning to fall. I cried out in pure bliss. I was finally free.
---
I left the hospital shortly afterwards. The nurses had practically thrown me out. They werent trying to be cruel; I understood. The man had just woken up from a coma that had nearly lasted two years. No one had expected him to survive. The doctor on call had taken one look at him and I saw his jaw almost hit the floor. His skin had turned white as a sheet. Immediately he contacted more of his colleagues. Sasukes case had already baffled the medical community. Even a skeptic like Derrick, who didnt believe in the supernatural, had no real answer behind the coma. I think it was his rational in the scientific that gave him enough comfort not to leave me sooner. Even when we got back together, I knew that he couldnt forgive me for doing this, because deep down in his mind he knew that there was not scientific answer.
Everything that had happened to me he always found a way to justify it rationally. When I kicked him out, he blamed the depression. When I had lost my mind, and became increasingly paranoid and started chasing ghosts, he blamed the drugs that I was taking and my terrible sleep schedule. But through that whole experience he never once mocked me. He never once badmouthed my beliefs. He simply used his belief in science as a way of bringing me back down to reality. But he never could wrap his head around Sasukes condition. And I think because of that he became afraid of me. I suppose that was natural, as people tended to fear what they did not understand. And I wondered if Sasuke would grow to fear me too. I wonder if he would hate me for what I did. And I wouldnt blame him.
It was my own selfish desires that caused all of this. The effects of which I am still feeling. All I wanted was to be like Sasuke. I wanted his strength, so that I could accomplish something that I didnt think that I could do by myself. I was afraid of becoming a failure. But looking back on the past two years, I realize that all I have been doing is failing. I couldnt defeat Ramparte. I didnt win the Lethal Lottery. I couldnt win the Elite Openweight title. I couldnt defeat Titus for the Eurasian title, despite being considered a heavy favorite. I was kicked from the Gold Rush after being defeated by an opponent that I had previously defeated. In the past, I might have sunk to newer and newer lows to justify my own sense of self-worth, but now I know better. I learned something these past two years. I dont need Sasukes strength, or his intellect, or his abilities to accomplish great things. Somewhere along the way I stepped off my path as a wrestler, and tried to walk the exact same one that Sasuke did. That was a mistake. Because in the process I abandoned my identity. I became disillusioned, and drunk with power. I thought having the book by my side would give me the power to do anything. I was wrong. The curse had nearly cost me my life, and Sasukes too. And now I understand that I had the power to make my dreams come true all along. I never needed the book at all. What a fool I have been.
It was in that moment that I decided that I would keep fighting. I would show the world my true strength. My true value. All the fans that had supported me the past few months deserved more. My opponents deserved more. I was not a weak, unstable woman destined to be someone elses punching bag. And at Ascension 119, I left it all in the ring
Cohen: That may have been Kagura's last gas.
Flex grabs Kagura by the legs and executes Spin-and-Win, spinning her around. The rotations go by 1, 2, 3, fans counting along, 7, 10, 13, the count increases, faster and faster, 15, 17, 20, 23, but suddenly, Kagura twists herself mid-spin and using the momentum, applies the Third Dance of Amenouzume no Mikoto. A Victory Roll, cradling and pinning Flex's shoulders to the mat. 1.......... 2........... 3!!
Cohen: Wait, WHAT?!
Anderson: HERE IS YOUR WINNER, KAGURA!!
As Kagura releases the hold, both competitors collapse in complete dizziness. Elizabeth Prince raising the arm of the winner, while the #1 Contender can't even react in shock as his world spins.
Connor: I do not believe it! What an upset! That- That came from out nowhere!
Cohen: It was a complete fluke! A sham! She lucked into that victory.
Elizabeth helps Kagura up, holding her arm in victory as Flex is assisted outside. As he starts to come around, he can't believe what's just happened.
That was no fluke, Jack. That victory was the result of all my hard work. I knew Flex Mussel. I hadnt forgotten his fighting technique, and I simply used his momentum against him to win. I dont know if he came into the match underestimating me. I doubt it. Im sure he had been stewing over the last time I defeated him, because I felt his determination. His self-pride. He wanted to beat me, just to show the world that he could. But that night I proved that Im still one step ahead of him, because I have returned to my original path; the one that I left so long ago. Maybe in the beginning when the book gave me power, and I thought I could do anything, I found a new resolve. But now things were different. Im not going to stoop to new lows just to get what I want. Theres no honor in that. I do not want to become a monster again.
I had thought long and hard about this. There was no way I was ever going to betray myself, my family, my friends, or my fans like that again.
I will continue to fight and claw my way forward until I succeed, because I want to make something of myself. I want to hold my held high and say that my accomplishments were achieved through the result of my own skills and abilities. And I think deep down, thats always been my resolve. And now that I realize that, Im not going to let anything stop me. I have one more opportunity left in front of me: The King of a Day elimination match. If I can win that, then I can challenge for any one of the prestigious championships in the league. And I want to become the world champion. Thats always been my dream. My goal. And even if I do fall short in the long run, then Ill keep trying. Ill keep walking this path of mine, because I am fighting for something here.
My opponent at Gold Rush was another man that I had beaten before: Vee A.D.Z. We fought each other at Meltdown 137. That was right after I had my first encounter with the onryo, the horrific spirit that had possessed the book. I had lost my voice that night. During our match, I came out the winner. Since then my journey has been very different from his. I do not know Vees affairs, but through all the twists and turns we found ourselves fighting once more.
Im not going to pretend to care to know exactly what youve been doing these past few months, because our roads up to this point have been different. But the fact that we are both here fighting for the same opportunity must be fate. Im also not going to pretend that you dont have a goal that drives you forward. However, I plan to test that resolve of yours. I have been through Hell these past few months. Losing my voice was the tip of the iceberg. I have been thrown into an entire sea of ice. My health declined. I lost sleep. I lost my sanity. And I very nearly lost my life. It was so cold in that ocean of despair. For months, I treaded water. I almost drowned when the water filled my lungs. I had the life choked out of me. But through it all I kept fighting. I never stopped. I suffered two concussions. I overdosed on pain medication. My heart stopped and I nearly went into cardiac arrest. I went weeks with practically no sleep. After everything that I have been through, theres no doubt that I have probably shortened my natural lifespan. But it was worth it, because my body never quit. I understand how strong I really am. And at Gold Rush, you wont stop me. We have done this dance once before, and the result will be the same. Now that the ice has melted, I can see my way forward. And if I must go through you again, then so be it. I have known you to be an honorable man, so once the dust settles and my hand is raised in victory, I will be sure to shake yours.
---
The night of Gold Rush was to take place in St. Louis. I had known that for a long time. In a perfect world, Sasuke would be well and would be by my side as I walked to the ring. But that was not to be. I would be doing this solo. At least the fighting part. As for companionship, I still had Derrick by my side. Sasuke had barely known him. If I recall they had only interacted a handful of times before the incident. At the time, Derrick and I werent particularly close. He remained in our little group because I had the book, and he wanted to keep an eye on it. He still had his job to do. Slowly our relationship became platonic, and then sexual. Our relation evolved from one of lust, to one of hatred, to one of unconditional love.
I can say that over the past few months that I have fallen for him. Hes been the most devoted person that I have ever met in my life. And he saved me from myself. I wonder what Sasuke will think, when I reintroduce him as my lover?
I shook my head. It was funny. My father died years ago, and the only family I ever really had was my grandfather. Ever since I began training with him, I had come to see Sasuke as the father figure that I had lost. And here I was worried that he might not approve of the man that I loved. The hospital was only about 20 minutes from the Scottrades arena. I wanted to see him one last time before my match. The nurses let me through after I explained that I wasnt going to stay long. I just wanted to check on him. Derrick opened the door for me, and we stepped inside the dark room. He was sleeping, but he was no longer hooked up to the machine. He was breathing on his own. His heart rate was still steady. That made me smile. I wondered at night sometimes if I had dreamt the whole thing up, and Sasuke was still lying there, unresponsive on his bed. To see him breathing on his own at least gave me a guarantee that I wasnt crazy, and that what I had seen that day was real. I reached out and held his hand, as Derrick placed his hand on my shoulder. I tried to speak, but all that came up was more incoherent noise.
SSah-uke
My throat was still sore. There were many things that I wanted to say. I wanted to apologize, but I knew those words would have to wait. It hurt to use my vocal chords. I stared at him. He looked so peaceful. That made me happy. I reached into my bag and took out a single white camellia flower, and laid it by his bedside table. In Japanese custom, these flowers were a sign of bad luck for warriors, but I was willing to make that gamble. As a warrior, I had managed to survive more than what a normal person could have endured these past few months. Sasuke had survived even worse, but he didnt live by the warrior code anymore. The flower had another meaning in the West, and I wanted to show him that I loved him.