I'm not going against you here I was just recalling a presentation we had in our school somewhile back and our presenter had told us that there is an increased level of hyper parents out there. I'm in no way telling you that you are a bad parent. I'm simply just throw it out there
I know the thread was not specifically dedicated for me, to think such a thought would be ludicrous. I was speaking
as a Parent, not as an individual poster. You directed this toward everyone, however it's in direct relation to Parenting. (ie. Something I contribute to doing) Thus, it involved me.
Again what your doing is fine. I was simply referring to the people who take all this so far. My sister has a child and shes constantly checking in on her(calling her phone at least 4-5 times a single night)Always checking in on her friends parents to make sure the activities they do are appropriate with her and if there not then she might as well kiss that friend good-bye. You say your a proud parent? Good for you. What your doing is fine but there are people out there who do go to far.
What you're claiming your sister does, still, is not considered over protective. A bit much for regular Parenting, to a slight degree, but not to the point that it's outrageous. Again, for the most part who are any of us to tell any other Parent(s) how to raise or deal with their child(ren)?
What she is doing is merely checking up on her child, making sure she isn't in any trouble, or doing anything disruptive. Calling someone 4-5 times in a single night could be viewed as a bit much, I'll agree, however you need to go deeper and look into exactly what each phone call is for.
Now, if all 4-5 calls are the exact same
"Hello, what's my Daughter doing?" Then yeah, that's a bit much and further more it shows your Sister isn't trust-worthy of the people she left her child in the care of for that night. That merely means she didn't do the proper investigating work on her Daughter's friends' Parents, to see if they were good people or not.
As for the activities, it isn't wrong of a Parent to like/dislike certain activities to be used/played around their child. It could fall into any type of religious belief, or personal reason. It isn't over-protective, it's just a specific way of Parenting.
I get people, Parents, who come into my video store all the time and ask about specific movies for their children (ranging from ages: 4-16) and saying they don't want a whole list of things involves in them. (ranging from: sex, language, drug use, etc.) That is perfectly understandable.
Personally, I don't force my Daughter out of the room if I'm watching a PG-13/R rated movie - because I've taken the time to explain that it's a movie, and not something that people should go do in real life. (In other words, she's smart enough to know not to go grab a kitchen knife and attack me with it.) I'll only pause the movie, or stop it, if there is any type of sexual interaction involved.
She knows not to use some bad words, and if she's never been the type to just randomly go around repeating words she's heard but does not know.
There is nothing wrong with it, I'm just pointing out that there is a higher level of parents who want their children being home schooled these days. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with it. Again I'm just presenting this in a manner to try and create a bit of awareness like our presenter did to us. I'm not trying to condemn anybody for being a bad parent. But there is a point where a line has to be drawn.
I guess I don't understand what you're trying to get at here. On one hand, you say there is nothing wrong with being home schooled.. but then you turn around and go on about how it's becoming more and more common to happen, and a line has to be drawn. What line? And for what reason? Where is the crime, or uncalled for nature of being home schooled?
My opinion - you lose contact with other children and thus you become less likely to be social in public. While, to me, that'd be horrible because I'm a very open and people friendly person - I can certainly understand some Parents mindsets on why they don't want their young children feeling open and perfectly okay with talking to anyone and everyone. (ie. Strangers)
Another thought is that perhaps home schooling is being done more and more because it's a widely known fact that Teachers aren't what they used to be. In other words - they don't teach as hard, they don't try with their students as much. If a child is continuously failing at something, the teacher(s) don't try to work with them; they simply tell the school board and request the child(ren) be removed from their class(es) and put somewhere else, for someone else to deal with.
NOT ALL TEACHERS ARE LIKE THIS, but more are than when I went to school. And it's becoming a bigger issue in today's world, than back when I was a child. Thus, home schooling is a more vital part of today's education than back then.
You don't think Id had taken that into consideration? I was thinking like you, that though the odds are relatively slim, they are still there.
Bold.. + this..
But its utterly ridiculous to think that a lot of parents could think this would possibly happen to their child when the odds are pretty low. To pull your kid out of school to be home schooled because you don't trust the teachers because of what some other sicko did? Not all teachers are like that, in fact there is probably only a handful.
Then you're wrong, because you weren't thinking like me. And you're also contradicting yourself. You say you understand, albeit the odds are slim - they're still there. Then you go on to say it's
utterly ridiculous to think Parents could... ... .. happen to their child.
Well, that's the mindset of almost every respectable and good Parent I know. To be protective and understand any level of threat, regardless of how big or small. How Slim or otherwise.
Also, you claim there are likely only a handful of Teachers like the "other sicko", but do you know where they are? So (in your own words, mind you) it would be
utterly ridiculous and more specifically
very naive to think it
couldn't happen to your child. To place yourself in a false sense of security is normally when very bad things tend to happen.
Okay I might have misinterpreted this one a bit. Of course a parents are going to watch their children(you would be a piss poor parent if you didn't) But there are parents out there who will literally walk there kid to the bus stop stand there and wait with them until the bus arrives(There's even some cases where the parent gets on the bus with them and rides with them to school) Now I understand the need to protect your child for the kidnappers and molesters but they have always existed, this is not a new phenomenon that has just developed in the last decade. The children in the past have done just fine without their parents breathing down there back 24/7.
Where is the crime or over-protective nature in walking your child to the bus stop, or waiting there with them? Uhm, if anything that secures TWO situations.
1. You make sure your child gets safely on the bus.
2. You make sure your child (if older) doesn't try to skip school.
That's common sense and very logical to do.
I'll agree that actually
getting on the bus and riding with your child to the school - that is above and beyond anything I've ever heard, so any Parent doing that; yeah, that's way too much. But once again, it isn't in me to determine how any other Parent should or shouldn't raise their child.
It's kinda funny that you brought up kidnappers and molesters always being around.. and also connecting how the rate of kidnappings have dropped in recent years. Hmmm, perhaps that's because the "over-protective Parents" (as you may see them) are doing what could be considered a better job of guarding their children, than Parents from yester-year; when the rates of kidnapping were even higher? (I haven't checked rates of kidnapping, or sexual abuse, so I'm only going off what you mentioned earlier about rates being low now.)
Parents take the news all to seriously, just because you hear something bad on the news that has happened in no way means that it will happen to you or your child! It dosen't hurt to be cautious but there are people who will go to excessive lengths to make sure nothing happens to their child.(mini cameras on the child backpack for instances) There is studies out there that prove that these kind of behaviors from the parent can effect the child's social development throughout their youth.
Once again, this can go either way. You say they're going too far with being overly protective in seeing bad things on the news. But I'm almost sure
any Parent would look at something bad, and instantly relate it to
"Wow, what if this happened to my own child?" It's just a Parental instinct.
As for the camera in the backback, while I haven't gone that far - and doubt I would, I see that as a decent idea to be honest. It solves a lot of issues.
1. Bullies. (Schools won't punish for what they don't see, and bullies often don't act unless it's in secret, or in front of others who won't acknowledge the acts.)
2. Abuse. (If a Teacher/Baby Sitter isn't doing their job properly, I highly doubt they'll come forward at the first opportunity to explain that. So catching them with a hidden camera is sometimes the only way you'll know for sure.)
Now, are hidden cameras overly-protective? It could honestly go either way. They're a bit much, and it falls into a type of obsessive compulsive disorder, but it's also the best way to know the truth when you don't fully know whether to trust someone. I'd only use a camera if my child told me something was happening; that way I'd know for sure.
How I'm I saying your being overly protected? Did I base my thread entirely on your relationship with your children? Hardly not, The inspiration came from my old school presentation and the way my sister acts with her daughter. What your doing from what you've explain is fine its just I'm talking about people who will go to the extremes to run their childs life when in reality that kind of behavior on the parent could have negative effects on the child in the long run.
Once again, I didn't reply based solely on the assumption you made this thread to single me out. I replied because I'm a Parent, and it involved Parenting. I suppose I should've put "In conclusion, if you was to think what I wrote above makes me an over protective, or bad, Parent". My apologies.
Theres a difference between being a bad parent and a hyper parent.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/article685268.ece
This is funny, actually. The first thing I noticed when reading through this was the idea that an over-protective Parent is one that uses flashcards, and specific programming, and even handholding.
1. Flashcards have helped my children both learn at a curve above normal. (In other words, they're smarter than average children)
2. Specific Programming can go either way. I'm not going to banish
Ghostbusters because it has violence or fictional ghosts in it. But at the same time, I do encourage my children to watch learning shows - which, once again, I'm proud to say have put both of them at curves above regular children.
3. Handholding can go either way as well. I want my child holding my hand while crossing the road (self-explanatory), and even when I'm in a crowded store. I think it's going a bit far to never let the child's hand go, especially if you're both near each other and it's in an area with no danger.
I'm not buying a book, and all this link does is send me to a page to buy a book.
Obsessive parenting? Yeah, one of my biggest pet peeves are children on a leash. But I don't think this has anything to do with obsessive parenting. I think it has everything to do with lazy parenting, which I think is the worst problem in this country.
Sure, parents don't want to lose their children, but they don't want to have to watch them either. So, in order to have their cake and eat it too, they put a leash on their children so they can put the minimal amount of effort into paying attention to their children without the risk of losing them. It's quite sad, when you think about it.
My opinion on leashes specifically? Your child is not a fucking dog, get rid of the kid-leash.
I can agree that the leash idea was probably not the best one a child inventor came up with, but I disagree that it's because Parents are lazy. Once again, as I explained earlier I have used one of these once before and it was due to being at that time - one Parent, with two children, and not being able to go in two opposite directions at once.
A lazy Parent is one that has a Nanny, Relative or Friend raise their child and barely has any interaction with raising them. Knowing where your child is at all time, while not having to specifically cage them inside a shopping cart is allowing the child to have
some freedom, as long as it's in the same direction you're going. (ie. not lazy)
So, yeah, I can agree the leash is a bad idea - but your wording (lazy) is wrong.
