Now, you come to me and you say, "Sam, did you hear? I know you're upset because Randy Orton went and-- I mean, for an undetermined reason, because nothing happened, but they're doing a Survivor Series tournament thingy. Surely, surely, 'What is this thing you call humans call "love"?' will reassemble! You, Jake, NorCal, jmt and - who could ever forget - Marquis. It was the greatest team of all time!"
And I tell you no, that time is done. Let's not drag it out and nWo it.
"OK then, I get that. What now then? I know! A British dream team! You, Jake, Tastycles, Lee, Dave. You'd be unstoppable."
Once again, no. I'm all about diversity, you see. Don't want to be accused of hate crimes or anything.
"Alright, that's fine. Let me guess--"
That's quite enough out of you. I'll bring you all out of suspense and tell you this; I have assembled the greatest team in not only forum history, but wrestling history! Perhaps even world history! Evolution, The Four Horseman, DX? Pah! Mere cockroaches! The Union, SES, Immortal? Closer, but still lightyears away. The BNP, the Tea Party, Al-Qaida? Bah! None of my elite members are getting dropped in the ocean. So without further ado, let me introduce us:
Firstly, there's me, Uncle Sam. The captain and the glue of the team. The man so good that I placed at 11 in the greatest posters of WrestleZone history. Yes, that's 1 twice. I'm that good. I'm certainly a formidable figurehead, but I couldn't do it alone.
My right hand man is, you guessed it, Numbers. As if to spite the intellectually and genetically inferior, he's not only good with numbers but also letters. It's almost unfair on everyone else. He'll use the entirety of his keyboard and leave you dizzy. Be afraid.
Secondly, thirdly or maybe even fourthly, we have Leafy Shuffleboard. He's leafy, he's shuffley, he's bawdy. More importantly, he's a master of phonetics. He'll take those sounds coming out of your mouth and twist them into unrecognisable monstrosities. Shake in your boots.
In the middle is our unstoppable core. The man that's likely the second biggest Zack Ryder fan in existence - the first, obviously, being me. Yes, that's right, Find'er Woo'er Ryder is our fourth. You think you're a pretty good poster, but how good are your Zack Ryder puns? Exactly! You're pretty shit if you think about it.
Speaking of puns, is there any better than Dwayne_Jason? If you answered to the affirmative, you're a fucking liar and you deserve to be repeatedly punched in the groin. Who'd have thought that underneath that genius name there'd also be quite a good poster. It's not even a competition any more, is it?
Containing this tour de force is the name of Fox Force Five, a reference to the greatest film of all time. We could have tried other names, sure, but they'd have simply burst off, like a small bra trying to contain a pair of massive tits. Make no mistake, we are all massive tits.
So, fuckers, if you're not in that list above, you're on notice. You're the baby tomato and we're gonna fucking squash you.
And I tell you no, that time is done. Let's not drag it out and nWo it.
"OK then, I get that. What now then? I know! A British dream team! You, Jake, Tastycles, Lee, Dave. You'd be unstoppable."
Once again, no. I'm all about diversity, you see. Don't want to be accused of hate crimes or anything.
"Alright, that's fine. Let me guess--"
That's quite enough out of you. I'll bring you all out of suspense and tell you this; I have assembled the greatest team in not only forum history, but wrestling history! Perhaps even world history! Evolution, The Four Horseman, DX? Pah! Mere cockroaches! The Union, SES, Immortal? Closer, but still lightyears away. The BNP, the Tea Party, Al-Qaida? Bah! None of my elite members are getting dropped in the ocean. So without further ado, let me introduce us:
Firstly, there's me, Uncle Sam. The captain and the glue of the team. The man so good that I placed at 11 in the greatest posters of WrestleZone history. Yes, that's 1 twice. I'm that good. I'm certainly a formidable figurehead, but I couldn't do it alone.
My right hand man is, you guessed it, Numbers. As if to spite the intellectually and genetically inferior, he's not only good with numbers but also letters. It's almost unfair on everyone else. He'll use the entirety of his keyboard and leave you dizzy. Be afraid.
Secondly, thirdly or maybe even fourthly, we have Leafy Shuffleboard. He's leafy, he's shuffley, he's bawdy. More importantly, he's a master of phonetics. He'll take those sounds coming out of your mouth and twist them into unrecognisable monstrosities. Shake in your boots.
In the middle is our unstoppable core. The man that's likely the second biggest Zack Ryder fan in existence - the first, obviously, being me. Yes, that's right, Find'er Woo'er Ryder is our fourth. You think you're a pretty good poster, but how good are your Zack Ryder puns? Exactly! You're pretty shit if you think about it.
Speaking of puns, is there any better than Dwayne_Jason? If you answered to the affirmative, you're a fucking liar and you deserve to be repeatedly punched in the groin. Who'd have thought that underneath that genius name there'd also be quite a good poster. It's not even a competition any more, is it?
Containing this tour de force is the name of Fox Force Five, a reference to the greatest film of all time. We could have tried other names, sure, but they'd have simply burst off, like a small bra trying to contain a pair of massive tits. Make no mistake, we are all massive tits.
So, fuckers, if you're not in that list above, you're on notice. You're the baby tomato and we're gonna fucking squash you.
