Favorite Jerry Lawler Lines

[mork83]

Jerry Lawler has had some classic one-liners over the years, especially when he was a heel. Some are corny and flop, but others crack me up. I was watching Summerslam '99 and right before the Undertaker/Big Show v. X-Pac/Kane match he said (about X-Pac) "He's more nervous than a pizza on it's way to Paul Bearer's"

Anyway, what are your favorite lines from "The King"?

 

[48.7 is Approximately 49 Times Better Than You]

Puppies!

 

[Starchild]

There are a couple things that come to mind here. One of his most memorable in my mind was one that was coupled with a famous J.R. line. It was at KoTR '98 during Undertaker vs. Mankind HIAC. Foley had already gone off the top the cell and through a table, came back, and then he went through the roof of the cell.
J.R. said, "Enough is enough. Will somebody stop the damn match."
And in what is the King quote that stands above all others for me, he said,
"That's it. He's dead."

Obviously he is also famous for his "Puppies!" line and for that little scream he does.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

It's been so long I just can't think of any.

Adamle > Lawler. FACT.

 

[48.7 is Approximately 49 Times Better Than You]

It's been so long I just can't think of any.

Adamle > Lawler. FACT.

Lawler isn't so great for me when he isn't an ass. Ever since he became buddy buddy with JR and no longer was an ass to him, he's been meh.

 

[RabidChihuahua]

any of you remember the Pretty Mean Sistahs storyline with Terri Runnels, Jacqueline and "Sexual Chocolate" Mark Henry? They had Henry tied up in the back with the sexual innuendos just going everywhere. The scene changed back to announce table and King was on the phone where he was talking to someone backstage and said...

"How many gerbils?"

I laughed my ass off that night. The details might be a little off, but the gist is correct, and that is my favorite Jerry Lawler line.

 

[santinoistight44]

i was watching backlash 07 last night and laughed when mileena came out and king goes "let me put my phone down... and get out my binnoculars" i thoght that was pretty funny

 

[OIL]

When Goldberg debued on RAW.

King: "Where is he?!"
JR: "He's here in Seattle!"
King: "AAAAAAAAAAH!"

Couldn't stop laughing at that. Youtube it. It's when Goldberg is just about to come out of the curtain, when he's going up the steps.

 

[AnthonyMango/NoFate007]

I love Lawler as an announcer, but I can't think of any off the top of my head.

I do have to agree, though, that the one that stands out the best to me is simply "That's it. He's dead."

That was so soft-spoken and sincere that it goes right along with the atmosphere that the whole crowd was thinking. Obviously not a funny line, but its just a good line for the moment.

 

[Dead Kennedy]

I remember something along the lines of this in some Divas match...

King: A slobberknocker. I provided the slobber, they provided the...
JR: We get ya.

 

[SAMOAJOE187]

i love jerry when a divas match is about to start and he goes

"puppies"

also when he a shocker occurs like the one mention about goldberg

 

[samus500]

I remember an old one:

"I bet when Yokozuna wears blue, people try to mail letters in him"

others:

"I sold the 123 kid a box of Cherrios for $100, and hes using them as hula hoops"

"I gave Virgil a bottle of hair hegrowth the other day, it didnt work on his head but did you see how hairy his fingers are?"

""OMG, Bastion Booger is the long lost brother of Macho Man, is his name Bastion Savage, or is your name [talking to Macho Man] Randy Booger?"

(the last 3 were paraphrased)

 

[The Heartthrob]

Oh come on...does nobody remember any of the material he did on the Hart Family? I was at WrestleMania 12 in 1996, and during the Free-For-All preshow, when the then-WWF was doing the Billionaire Ted sketches at the time. Lawler made note of The Huckster and The Nacho Man, and the fact that both Stu Hart and Jose Lothario were in attendance for the Iron-Man Match. He then said, "We saw the Huckster and Nacho Man earlier, JR...hey...think about it...we could have the first ever Geriatric Tag Match with The Huckster & Nacho Man against Stu Hart and that old fart Jose Lothario!"

Then of course the classics like,

"I heard Helen Hart went into an antique store yesterday and they tried to keep her"

"Bret Hart is the 13th of 12 children"

"Somebody wake up Stu over there...he's gonna miss the rest of the match!"

 

[eastbaystunna]

At wrestlemania 23 when vice got his head shaved he said.
"If vince wants to run his fingers through his hair, he's gonna have to cut a whole in his pants."

That was fucking great lol

 

[The Mark of Zur-En-Arrh]

I was always partial to 'Rey Mysterio is so short you can see his feet in his driver's license photo'

Or

'He looked a lot bigger on the Lucky Charms Box McMahon' (referring to Taz)

 

[Rated TSS]

pupies is my favourite comment of all.

PUPIES!!!

 

[Wisoid]

It was No Way Out 2001, I think. Street fight. HHH vs Cactus Jack.

Jack hits HHH in the balls and Lawler's response is.

"Castus just delivered that shot right to the testicles of the game!" or something to that degree.

There was something about Lawler's high pitched annoncing voice saying testicles with that over excited enthusiasm that just made it hilarious.

 

[samus500]

there was another one focused on yokozuna that was pretty funny:

"Somewhere out there, theres a Toyota without any seat covers."

 

[The Mark of Zur-En-Arrh]

J.R. - We thank all our great fans for joining us tonight for Wrestlemania throughout the great country of Canada

King - ....Except Stu and Helen (Hart)

(WM 12 during HHH v Owen Hart)

 

[Uncle Sam]

"I've come... for your soul!"

Wait. Wait. That's The Undertaker, isn't it?

 

[Kyphael]

This was only funny if you saw it but it happened in King of the King 2000. It was the Dudleys vs. DX and Tori. They had delivered the headbutts to the groin on X-Pac, Road Dogg and when it was Tori's turn, King screamed "No, don't do that! My turn!" I miss perverted Jerry Lawler. He still is but he toned it down now and he can't even scream "puppies!" anymore.

 

[ThePhenom13]

u guys dont remember wrestlemania 24 during the bunnymania match?the lights went out and jerry said"the lights went out.is the undertaker here?"lol the way he said it was really funny.and me and my friend looked at each other and we laughed our ass off.

 

[Y 2 Jake]

Yeah man, me too. Funny stuff.

 

[Enigmania]

For the life of me I can't remember a specific one but watch the midgets match at Royal Rumble 1998. Lawler was at his best taking the piss out of Max Mini and also his jealousy of Sunny and Max.

Hilarious!

Watch that match, hell watch the PPV!

King has became less perverted over the years which is a shame. He needs to be the heel commentator again.

I miss Adamle on the annoncers table

 

[Jack bruce]

Umm I remember these Two off the top that kept me laughing for a while

J.R"If The godfather loses this match to steven richards here tonight he has to give up his pimping ways"

King"and that cant happen cause no ones a bigger fan of godfathers hoes than me i got the bills to prove it too."

another

Kanes been set on fire more times than smokey the bear