Everyone loves a ****!!

[Mighty NorCal]

But they don't, do they? I am here to try my best to understand why, exactly.

Many of you are familure with my extensive experiences with females. I stopped keeping count when I was 18, because keeping count is a teenager thing to do. Its not hunting, its not a game, its dealings with other human beings. Anyways, from 2010 - 2012, I was at quite the staggering clip, usually 2-3 (partners) per month(sometimes less, never more then three, I dont think), for two years(this is a rough estimate, taken from a very good memory). This, added to everything for my entire life combined up to there. Traveled the world, heard girls have orgasms in languages which were not english. Etc, etc.

Now, generally, men would come in to this thread and make great claims and praises to my supposed prowess, and strength (though im sure there will be no shortage of white knights jumping at the chance to proclaim me some type of scoundrel as well, despite the fact I never one time mislead anyone, or even talked to any two simultaneously)...My question here is...


Why is it so different for girls? On a serious, logical, realistic level, why is it different for girls? What does it matter? Why is it such a concern for people entering a relationship? (assuming everyone involved has a clean bill of health, OBVIOUSLY, so none of you take the easy way out)

My take on all of this is a very simple formula...

Life is short, sex is fun.

Would I encourage others to do things as I did? Probably not, because not everyone can eschew all that soceity tells us what sex is supposed to be, and the conotations attached to it, which would bring many great guilt and mental anguish.




Tell me all about why it is so much different for girls to enjoy themselves before settling down, than it is for guys to do so.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Much like a gay and lesbian relationship to a straight relationship there is no difference, the only difference is whatever society and people have made up in their head. There is nothing wrong with a female being promiscuous and having fun, nothing at all, its their decision, their life and who am I to tell them how to live it? As long as they aren't purposely fucking around with peoples emotions I certainly don't see any problem, doesn't matter what a persons gender is.

The only reason we are even talking about this is for the longest time many cultures didn't see women equal to men, many cultures today STILL don't see women equal to men and that's where all of stems from, America was in the same boat 40 years ago too. When people live their lives a certain way for a long period of time they become accustomed to how things are, often not questioning why things are a certain way, its easier to go with the flow than to go against the grain. It has only been recently that more people have started questioning why things are and its only been recently that matters like this have started to get resolved. The problem with all of this is you can't undo what has already been done, you can only make it better going forward and it takes a very long time to essentially break thousands of years of bad habits. Try not to take this as a equality rant or a religion has damaged society rant, I'm just trying to state how things were and how things are. Matters such as this have gotten a lot better over the last 30-40 years (or at least in my experience they sure have) but its going to be a while until the issue is as resolved as society can possibly get it (much like many social issues they never completely go away, they just get diminished greatly).

Forever women were held to a different standard than men, there were not given as much freedom and had a much stricter rulebook than men did. In the old days if a married man decided to get his jollies using every wench in the village it was no big thing, if his wife slept with just 1 man that wasn't her husband she would get scrutinized and treated like a ****e. Unfortunately that mentality still exists among many today and although its improved it hasn't gone away. It isn't fair but it is what it is.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Tell me all about why it is so much different for girls to enjoy themselves before settling down, than it is for guys to do so.

I am not a scientist but from what I remember watching television and having bar talk is that a woman secretes a chemical in their brain during sex that is the same as the chemical that they secrete when bonding with their babies. I'm not sure if that is true or but if it is it would make me think that while a double standard isn't for men and women isn't fair it may be found as reasonably necessary to protect women from the psychiatric trauma of having a chemical occurrence that is not reciprocated by her partner.


So like fish on Fridays the notion that women should not be having sex perpetuates itself in time (and I defer to Barbosa for any actual historical knowledge beyond my speculation) through the protective nature of fathers and brothers plus the social engineering of religion and politics and a sprinkle of jealousy from ex-boyfriends, reflected suitors, and fat chicks.

Speaking as a man, I agree with you that women should not be judged. Speaking as a father of a young girl I don't want any man to touch a hair on her head. I want her to spend her youth bettering herself through school and positive live experiences. Sex can get in the way of all that.

In summary, I'm not the person to argue with but I understand there is more to the argument than "cuz that's what the Bible says".

 

[klunderbunker]

My first instinct would be to say because women can get pregnant. As mentioned, men sleeping around is almost considered a right of passage, whereas when women do it you often hear about the risks associated with it. If a woman gets pregnant, there's an obvious sign, almost like a scarlet letter associating her with it. At the same time, there's no sign on the man that impregnated her. Both of them were equally involved, yet only the woman has potential visible effects. With men it's something that you're supposed to do to prove your manhood, as long as it's behind closed doors and never spoken of. As soon as everyone knows, it changes from being impressive to being shameful. Only women show that they've had sex and it makes the unspoken truth obvious.

 

[Slash-LN]

This is one of those things that people put way too much thought into. Not the people posting but I mean the people who we socialize with.
When we die are people going to stand around our caskets and talk about how many people we've fucked? If that's all someone can talk about at your funeral then they probably shouldn't be there in the first place.

People don't need that kind of negativity in life. Especially when it's something so minor and stupid.

Only women show that they've had sex and it makes the unspoken truth obvious.

What about herpes? Men show that. And I'm pretty sure that's shameful.

 

[jmt225]

The funny thing is, this whole "**** shamming" thing... women are way more guilty of it than men these days. I think men today understand a woman having her fun with sex as well. The generations of men before us had a problem with it, but I believe we're growing out of that mind-set. And when I say men, I of course mean men, not teenage boys on Twitter who go the extra mile to make girls feel shameful about having sex, but I think the majority of them will grow out of that immature mind-set as they grow older.

Women, on the other hand, well... let's call a spade a spade, a lot of women are hypocritical, emotionally wrecked creatures who all hate one another and will go the extra mile to humiliate each other. It doesn't matter if a woman fucks a different guy every night for an entire year (while being quiet about it), she'll still turn around and call another woman a **** for sleeping with one guy if she doesn't like that person and wants to hurt her.

It's that, or it's these ugly/bitter women who no one wants to deal with, who take out their anger on women who guys actually do like.

So really, this is honestly a problem among women. Men will crack jokes about a girl sleeping around but at the end of the day, hardly anyone really cares and I think the majority of men understand and don't judge.

 

[Mustang Sally]

The only reason we are even talking about this is for the longest time many cultures didn't see women equal to men, many cultures today STILL don't see women equal to men and that's where all of stems from, America was in the same boat 40 years ago too.

Sure, but I keep coming back to the reactions of folks to the "revelations" of the sexual prowess' of Wilt Chamberlain and Magic Johnson. Both claimed to have slept with thousands of women, right?

When the Magic story came out, I recall lots of people (mostly men) saying: "Wow. What a guy, what a man, what a stud!"

Okay, but if a woman claimed to have slept with thousands of men, what does society call her?

 

[Poop Master Flex]

Sure, but I keep coming back to the reactions of folks to the "revelations" of the sexual prowess' of Wilt Chamberlain and Magic Johnson. Both claimed to have slept with thousands of women, right?

When the Magic story came out, I recall lots of people (mostly men) saying: "Wow. What a guy, what a man, what a stud!"

Okay, but if a woman claimed to have slept with thousands of men, what does society call her?

They call her a ****, it still doesn't change anything I've already said, it doesn't change the fact that this stuff has only recently started to get better and it doesn't change the fact it will still be a while before society doesn't go straight to "she's a ****" for sleeping with a ton of dudes.

I don't disagree that society in general goes straight to that notion but I will say that I've seen quite a few people start calling men "****s (or man ****es)" for sleeping around a lot and I will also say I've seen quite a few people refraining from going off on a woman because she has slept around. Although it's far from being anywhere close to where it should be in my experience it has gotten better.

I'm just saying when society goes over a thousand years calling promiscuous women ****s its going to take a good chunk of time to change that line of thinking.

 

[Reflection]

I guess not everyone... My ex girlfriend (a Britisher) used to get mad at pretty much every lady on facebook that dressed in the slightest bit of seductive way. She used to hurl abuses at them and call them ****s. That's the best acquaintance I have with the word
Me personally, I just can't like/love/respect someone (male or female) too much as a person, if they go around having sex everywhere. Maybe its because of coming from a conservative country, or because I don't get as much pussy as I'd have liked (or at all), or whatever.

 

[Mustang Sally]

I'm just saying when society goes over a thousand years calling promiscuous women ****s its going to take a good chunk of time to change that line of thinking.

No doubt about that....and, in fairness, even though I found the initial reaction to Wilt and Magic to be largely positive, we subsequently read many folks disapproving comments about them, especially in light of Magic contracting HIV and spreading it to heaven-knows how many women.

It should also be noted that of the "cast of thousands" whom these guys bedded, I doubt any of the gals were unwilling participants.....an indication that most of the women knew there was no chance of a continuing relationship between them and the basketball dudes. They just wanted sex with a celebrity, so it might be said that "****" is in the eye of the beholder.

 

[Tastycles]

I don't know how many people I've slept with. In the last month, it's about 4. There's a number of interesting tales in there, but other than that, I really couldn't care less. The only one of them I regret is the person for whom it meant a deal more for me.

I look at the only two girls that are currently in my life that I'd one to engage in a relationship with - one of them has a physical list that numbers in the forties, one has slept with three people. For both of them, I see it as an attractive thing. For the former, she is like that because she does what she wants and she wants to sleep with people. For the latter, it's because she would only sleep with someone she truly cared for. I think both attitudes are noble, and the only thing that people should care about is can they look themselves in the mirror and be happy with what they have done in that respect. I know there have been times when I can't do that, and that for me is far more telling and important than a tally chart. I don't care how many people people have slept with, which is probably why I get told so often by others.

 

[jacdnwarrior]

Hypocrisy. Plain and simple

Women will say women can do whatever they want with their bodies but will be the very first to shame women who don't conform to their own values on sex and how they think women conduct themselves.

Men will have no problem with men fucking every thing in sight but will blast women who sleep with too many men.

Women are slowly talking about not liking men who have too many female conquests (which is nonsense, imo) but nowhere near it is for women.

My take, mind your own damn business. If you want to lead a life of one lay or a thousand lays do what you want but do it responsibly and respectfully of the people you're involved with.

 

[Dagger Dias]

Now that I'm an adult my views on this have become more open. I used to be very firmly against any sexual activity before marriage. When it comes down to it, I'm in the minority and disagree with men sleeping around just as much as I do with women. For me it's religious reasons.... but unlike my teenage self I am not here to rant about this or force any beliefs on anyone. Just simply sharing my thoughts. I waited for someone I loved who shared the same values as me. It made me impatient and dang near miserable during some parts of my youth, but I do not regret my decisions. I had incredibly high standards for the girls I dated and when I was younger I looked down on those who chose to sleep around, regardless of gender. That was the "me" from many years ago though and as of roughly 8 years ago that's hardly the case. I'm a lot more open now as an adult.

The way people wish to live their lives and how far they are willing to go in their dating relationships outside of marriage is their own choice. A lot of the negative stigma toward people who have multiple sexual relationships before settling down to marry comes from the religious side of society. The people who try to force their beliefs on people. Anyone who ever had parents who always told them they could not do certain things for no reason beyond "because I said so" always did what.... they'd go do that very thing they were told not to do, out of protest. Same principle applies here. Religious people telling others they have to abstain "or else you go to hell" is just going to be met with eye rolls and result in people doing it anyway.

I won't force my religious beliefs regarding marriage and sex on people as my teenage self might have, but instead might hope that people would at least consider the emotional consequences that sleeping around brings. People should wait for the right reasons and they should enter sexual relationships for the right reasons too. It does happen a whole lot more often that girls get looked down on for having sexual relationships while men get looked up to for it. That is a double standard I disagree with, as I already stated. It's unfair. Speaking as a Christian, no one is perfect and we should not look down on the women who fundamentalists rudely label as "****s". Instead Christians should be trying to help them improve their lives both spiritually and emotionally. I'm one of the few though, sadly more would rather condemn these women than be their friend, let alone want to help them if wanted to move on from that part of their life.

 

[Miko]

I was trying to answer this tactfully, without being coarse, but fuck it, I'll just go balls to cheeks with this one. I always figured it was a "plug" and "socket" thing, or a case of "one key that can open thousands of locks is awesome, but a lock that can get opened by thousands of keys is shit". Basically, I figure if men look down on women for sleeping around its probably because they kind of want to fuck her but are afraid she's seen loads of dicks which are bigger than his, and that she wont register his moment of entry as much as he wants her to. But whatever, that is their problem.

I don't know why women look down on ****s, I could hazard guesses but I figure that its their fucking problem, not mine.

One of my best friends is what many would consider a ****, and another is the kind of person that considers her a ****, ironically they are going out with each other. I've just stopped trying to make sense of anything anymore, especially this post, which is starting to look like a ramble. I'd rather everybody just had the kind of fun they want to.

 

[A11oftheLights]

the thing i love about society these days it is generally expected/okay for men to have as much sex as possible. But women aren't meant to sleep around. So i dont really understand how guys would be able to sleep around. I'm fine with women doing as they please just don't get pregnant if your partner isnt up for it. Which can be a bit out of their control but there is this

 

[Aeon Mathix]

My wife had this issue when we first started dating years back. I had only ever been with 4 women in bed my entire life (im 23 so take it for what you will lol) and she had been with 2 and she was utterly disgusted and concerned that I had been with 4. It was mind boggling and confusing. Sex means a lot to most women or at least ones I know or who I have been with. Not generalizing here. It's a lot more to do with emotions with them as opposed to having fun. Haven't ever met a guy who wanted to have sex to grow emotionally attached and I have myself have never felt that way, but at the end of the day I think it just pertains that particular individual and his or her own perspectives on the matter.

 

[smizzy]

Sex is good ass shit.

I believe Shakespeare or Da Vinci said that once or something. No but, seriously, it's undeniably desirable and a problem with it is that it's considered an accomplishment rather than a romantic act.

I truly believe that if I had waited until marriage (along with my future partner) that the experience would have been much more meaningful. Throw the religion aspect out of the window and consider that you and your partner have only shared the gift of sex with one another and what that means to yourselves. Of course that's not very realistic because everyone desires it. Some just take pride in not indulging as often, or waiting for the right person to share it with.

I personally do look down on women that have slept around excessively. There's a line between being sexual and just being ridiculous. A girl at my work has proclaimed that she's had sex with 40+ people. She's 19. I don't know, I guess if I were to marry her, whenever we have sex, it's like man, I'm number 42 (or whatever). It's still making love, it's still passionate, but shit, she's fucked all these other people.

As for men, I don't necessarily respect a huge number either. I'm in a fraternity at SEMO and you can imagine the alpha male personalities I'm around. There's one guy in particular who claims to have slept with 200 girls. He's 22. I mean, yeah good for you finding 200 people willing to fuck you, but still, there's got to come to a point when it's like...why?

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

I am thinking of a way to state this in elegant terms, but here's a crude way of putting it: women can get fucked by almost anyone they want, an overwhelming majority of men can only fuck women they want nothing to do with.

Have any of your ever noticed that almost all girls that are referred to as ****s are quite attractive? There's two reasons for this: envy and bitterness. Women envy the so-called "****s" that are nabbing and captivating men that they'll never be able to pull as long as there is someone more attractive than them giving it up and men are bitter over the fact that these so-called "****s" seem to be fucking everyone else but them.

Everyone wants to get off, and they'd prefer it if someone else was aiding them in this endeavor. Once we realize this, we're all a step closer to dealing with the true problem of leading people on. Men should ABSOLUTELY be called out and shamed if they're saying things they don't mean and making promises they have no intention of keeping. On the other hand, instead of being shamed for fucking multiple guys, women should ABSOLUTELY be shamed for keeping sad saps on the hook to fulfill their emotional needs even though they have no intention of fulfilling the sexual desires of these men.

 

[PsychoBlack]

I've discussed this on this forum before, however, my viewpoint has changed quite a bit on it. I once felt that a man sleeping around was just him being a man, but if a woman did it she was a ****. If a man and a woman both commit a murder and the gun is found in the same place and the exact same witness gives the exact same testimony the judge isn't going to be any more lenient on one than the other (This might be another thread for another day, but, I'm sure you get the gist.) I still feel that if a woman sleeps around she's a **** plain and simple, if a man sleeps around, he is also a ****. I'm a **** I have no problem being a **** because i enjoy having sex with different people, it's fun. One thing I do however have a problem with is a **** acting as if their not a ****, I feel that with these types of people they have some deep lying insecurity that makes them want to be ****ty, but, ashamed to admit it at the same time.

My view on ****s in a relationship is that it's really to each it's own. If you mind that someone has had a certain amount of sex partners or you know that they will go out looking for sex in other places simply don't be with them. If you don't mind those types of things it's really no one's business except your own.

Simply what it comes down to answering Norcals Questions It's because people can't do one of two things, mind their own fucking business or simply accept who they are.

 

[Alex]

People like to have sex. It's in our DNA, it's a bodily urge.

In regards to women who have sex with loads of people I don't really judge them for having sex with loads of people, if anything if the guy they slept with is an asshole, I'll say something relating to that not the actual sex part, same with if a male friend had sex with the proverbial crazy lady.

Let's be honest men and women fantasize about sleeping with loads of people, you watch TV, a film or read a magazine and you see someone you find attractive you may go 'I'd like to have sex with them' The only difference is promiscuous people will actually do it.

Another thing that I haven't seen brought up is that sometimes if a person is being promiscuous they'll stop doing it eventually once they've found the right person, settle down and not look back because they've found the right person after searching and experimenting as it were. On the flip side you get some people who are relatively reserved when it comes to sex aka not sleeping around who may end up in a for all intents and purposes in a good relationship but feel unfulfilled because they haven't 'sown their wild oats' as it were and may jeopardise their relationship simply to try something different as it were. I'm not saying every person who hasn't had multiple partners will do this but it does happen.

For me I don't care for how many partners you've had. If you're safe when you do it and like doing it go for it. I would.

 

[TWJC: The Beginning]

It's different because most cultures make it different. Look even in the bible. Baby boys are worth more than baby girls to God. Only unfaithful wives are punished. Only non virgin women are punished. Just how it's always been.

Personally, I'm with you. Sex is fun. Be smart about it. Don't judge. I met a Finnish girl and in Finland, it's apparently a lot different. They treat them more as equals. That's how I'd like it to be here. Then again, we still elect people like Rick Santorum and Ted Cruz, so we're a long ways away.

 

[Kodo Sawaki]

Tell me all about why it is so much different for girls to enjoy themselves before settling down, than it is for guys to do so.

Society views are entirely different in most cases. When a guy comes to his friends and says "I fucked 3 girls tonight" everybody will high five him. When a girl says "I fucked 3 guys tonight" even her friends would say to her "You ****". Society just views it differently so man doesnt exaclly suffers too much consecuences for that kind of behavior and women does suffer in most cases. I mean, I personally dont care. Past is past and if she is good with me and acts properlly with me and not like a ****(well except in bed ) I dont mind. But society generally views it differently. In most cases you just cant be respected women if you just go around and sleep with guys. Both men and women are gona judge that kind of behavior in most cases...

Though you could argue on something else and that is: Both kind of behaviors(womens and mens) are not really exceptable if you are pursuing healthy long term relationship. Because no self respecting men would just take a **** if she behaves like she behaves and no self respecting women would turn a blind eye on a fact that you act like a player with some girl in town or even worst her female friends. Because I dont think men or women dont really care if its just "fun" but when it comes to a longterm both of sexes do acctually care if their significant other act in the way that he/she can be called "****".

 

[Lockard23]

Biologically speaking, a man can screw five women in a week and get all five women pregnant. Whereas if a woman screwed the same amount of guys within the same time frame, she could only get impregnated by one of them. I think therefore instinctively that men are meant to pursue multiple women, but women on the other hand are meant to remain monogamous. So it's kind of ingrained in us to call a woman a **** if she's banging multiple people.

That said, there isn't as much of a "double standard" as people make there out to be. I hear men being called "womanizers" and "pigs" by the female ilk quite often.

 

[rmp0012002]

I think it depends on what you're looking for. If you're just looking for a piece of meat and don't mind that her reputation precedes her and don't mind that your just a number than that's your opinion and non of my business but if your looking for more of a relationship that I myself would prefer then I would want the road less travelled. I would like to put a woman at a higher standard but if the choice is going home alone or with a woman that been around we all,know what the choice is.
Women are just catty between each other about everything so that will never change.

 

[Mighty NorCal]

I think it depends on what you're looking for. If you're just looking for a piece of meat and don't mind that her reputation precedes her and don't mind that your just a number than that's your opinion and non of my business but if your looking for more of a relationship that I myself would prefer then I would want the road less travelled.

That is sort of the question here....


Why? Why does it matter?