Every Raw, Smackdown and PPV of 1999

[therockiswwf]

I am going to review what the title says. Before I start I would like to say that I appreciate any feedback whether good or bad. I would also like to say that I have to get a surgery sometime in December or January and I have school so I maybe a little slow getting these out. Also I just had a surgery on my right hand so I can really only use one hand right now. I will grade matches by letter grades (i.e. d+). Please feel free to correct me if I get anything wrong. Alright onto the first review!

Raw is War
January 4, 1999
Cole and Lawler

Intro video to begin.

It starts off with a recap of Vince firing HBK. Then shows a recap of HBK's career for a little bit before Vince comes out yelling to get that off the titantron. Here come the corporation (Rock, Shane, Vince, Boss Man, Kane, Shamrock, Test, and the stooges) walking to the ring. Vince does not have his music yet. Apparently Vince has promised that if HBK shows up they will kick the crap out of him. But HBK has promised to show up on Raw when he was on Heat (who let him in if he was fired?). Fans chant asshole to Vince. Kane has a paper taped to his back for some reason. Vince says Shawn wont show up. The sign on Kane's back says Brisco's Body Shop. Vince says anyone that had anything to do with Shane becoming emotionally scared will pay for it. HBK shown on the titantron walking to the arena. Vince wants his butt kicked. HBK is now on the stage. HBK brings out DX to help him. HBK says his lawyers say that his contract is iron clad. So now he isn't fired, . HBK makes Vince #2 in the Rumble instead of #30. HBK promises a Stone Cold surprise.

Non-title match- IC Champion Ken Shamrock vs Steve Blackman
Apparently Billy Gunn wants a IC title match but Shamrock wont give him one. Which means required by wrestling law Billy Gunn needs to make a run in lets see if I am right. Nothing really happens in the match more or less kick, punch, few other things repeat. And here comes Dan Sevren for some reason. Cole mentions UFC. You can tell its just stalling until something happens. Shamrock punches Dan Sevren off the apron which makes the ref get distracted and yep, here comes Billy Gunn. Fameasser (I think that is how it is spelled) to Shamrock to give Blackman the pinfall victory.

Grade D+, For about a four minute match it wasn't bad but nothing really happened.

Post match
Apparently Billy's special only hurts for a few seconds as Shamrock is in hot pursuit right after the pinfall. Billy and Shamrock fight in the back and refs come to break it up.

Here comes Mankind. Recap of Mankind grabbing Patterson's balls with Mr. Jocko. Mankind now has a new hobby called kicking the McMahon's family asses. Mankind wants a title shot against Rock at the Royal Rumble. Mankind asks if he can say ass on tv. Then says get your ass out here dad (he sometimes calls Vince dad). Vince says he is a monster. Vince says that he would stain the WWF title. Vince says he is stupid for doing everything for them (crowd). Vince says Mankind has not paid his dues and does not deserve a shot. But Vince says he could make his way back up the ladder for a shot at the Hardcore title. Vince makes a match Mankind vs HHH winner gets in the Rumble. And there is a guest Ref for the match, Shane.

Chyna talking with some girl. No way that person is a girl.

Mark Henry vs Goldust
Oh god this is the sexual chocolate Mark Henry that is in love with Chyna. King says Goldust is a perverted, sick person and he usually likes that in someone but not him. Funnier than it sounds. Typical fat man match as all Henry does is punch and club while Goldust gets a spinebuster. Powerslam by Henry. Lawler- who is the smartest man in the world? and Why is Vince. Here comes Chyna and that women that is definitely not a women. Goldust takes advantage and sets up shattered dreams and OUCH to Henry. DQ victory for Henry. Chyna helps him up and offers a 3 way and then Henry faints and probably Lawler jizzed his pants. That women that is definitely not a women name is Sammy.

Grade D-, like the first match they just filled time til something happened.

Jesse Ventura just became the governor.

And Dennis Night (Mideon) is hanging form chains somewhere yelling for help. Why doesn't the camera man help him?

Godfather vs Test
Again more punch, kick, repeat. Slam to Test and Leg drop for two. Hey lets not talk about the match because who the hell cares about what is going on in the ring. And Val Venis is on the stage watching. And we go outside the ring for no reason. Venis still watching and apparently Irish whipping someone into the ring post is a DQ. Test and Venis fight. Oh Test caused Venis to lose a number one contender match for the Hardcore title.

Grade N/A, Again like the first two matches waiting for something to happen.

HHH vs Mankind with Shane as a special Ref.
Shane does not like Mankind in case that is not clear. DX and Mankind are friends. Shane say he will call it down the middle which means he wont. King says Mankind has the future of a ice cube. I like that for some reason. Starts off with Mankind punching HHH with his agggahhh sound effects. HHH knocks Mankind down. Bulldog to HHH but HHH regains control. HHH is wearing red pants, it looks weird. Roll-up from HHH cause a quick count to give HHH the win.

Grade D, Again nothing happened.

HHH says sorry, saying he will take a chance for the WWF title anyway he can get it and then Pedigrees Shane. Mankind then says he will break Shane's f*ing shoulder and wont let go unless Vince gives him a title shot later tonight. Mankind wants it to be a no DQ and Vince agrees and lets Shane go. Rock comes out to complain to Vince saying he is not ready.

Edge vs D-lo Brown
Edge still come out of the crowd here and is apart of the brood. D-lo has been having problems with PMS (pretty mean sisters) (Terri Runnels and Jacqueline). Hurricanrana form Edge to D-lo. D-lo takes over and does a leg drop. They have barely talked about the match. Literally they have said almost nothing. Running powerbomb to Edge for two. D-lo misses an elbow drop and Edge takes over and spinning heel kick. Cross body onto D-lo for two. And apparently Terri is pregnant. Terri looks like that Jeanie from I dream of Jeanie or whatever it was called. And now for one of the most stupidest things ever Terri goes on the apron yells at D-lo and D-lo walks over and she tries to back up but falls and starts holding her stomach going awwww owwww. That is fine and all (for a stupid thing) except for one thing she didn't land on her stomach, she landed on her BACK (I understand that any fall is bad if your pregnant no matter which way you fall but come on). The match is stopped after that.

Grade D+, It was good while it lasted.

Post match
Terri overacting is funny. EMTs taking her to the back and the doctor is checking on her while D-lo is mad at himself.

And the lights go out and here comes Kane. And there goes on of my favorite things Jerry does, gets scared by pyro. The stooges and Shane come out with Kane. Patterson does stuff behind Kane's back. Kinda funny. And now apparently its now Brisco and Patterson vs Kane in a handicap match because they were somehow involved in Shane's emotional scarring.

Kane vs Brisco and Patterson
Comedy match with Shane on the mic. Patterson was going to hit Kane with a chair but Kane turns around before he does it and Patterson sets up the chair for Kane so he can sit down. Kane punts the chair and then Kane is about to Chokeslam Shane but Vince says he will go back to the looney bin if he does and Kane lets go and Vince says Kane wins the match. Vince and Shane hug at the top of the ramp. How cute.

Grade B, Solid as far as comedy matches are concerned.

And Dennis Knight is shown again and the APA (their name at the time is longer and I don't feel like writing it) come and say "he" is ready for you.

Hardcore Title match- Road Dogg (Champ) vs Al Snow w/Head.
Al Snow comes out and puts Head on the ramp and then goes and hides behind the curtain. Road Dogg does his thing with his entrance and I have never figured out who he wanted us to call or know. Al Snow attacks Road Dogg while he is on the stage. Road Dogg throws a chair into Al Snow's face. And Road Dogg gets thrown into the crowd. Al puts Dogg on a table and tries a moonsault but misses and goes through the table while a small ECW chant breaks out. King- I love these Hardcore matches, but he kayfabe hates ECW. They fight up the stage and Al goes through another table. And now they are fighting backstage. Al chokes him with a hose and then hits him with a broom. And Road Dogg regains the advantage nevermind that as Al throws him into metal bars. Road Dogg throws Al into a metal something and he gets thrown in it two more times. Road Dogg tries to spray Snow with a fire extinguisher but it has nothing in it so he hits him with it instead. They make their way outside by going through an emergency door which made the alarm go off. And its snowing out there as this makes me wonder if snow is the child of Al Snow. Okay that made no sense. But its my review so whatever. More throwing each other into stuff. Road Dogg hit Al with those construction and cones and King says its a snow cone. Piledriver from Road Dogg to Al on a wooden crate for the three. The ref YELLS the count or maybe I can hear him more because they are outside with no crowd.

Grade C+, It is a very fun match. Very close to a B-. It goes everywhere and just a fun match although they sometimes got up from stuff a little bit fast sometimes but still a very good match. When Road Dogg runs back in the alarm is still on which makes me laugh. No blood, see a good Hardcore match does not need blood.

The APA take Dennis Knight (Mideon, in case you forgot) and shove him in a door and then a bunch of evil laughs happen. While the APA just stand their and guard the door. Why doesn't the camera man do something? Why don't the APA kick the shit out of the camera guy? Who am I asking these questions to?

Alright back to the show.
DX say bye to HBK as he says see ya later. HHH goes yeah, maybe. Which sounds like something that would be a heel would say but he stays a face so I have no idea why he said that. HBK goes outside to get Stone Cold and he has the wrong keys to the car and can't get back in as the corporation say hey Shawn. To commercials. Ok were back and HBK is more or less dead as he was put through a windshield of a car (think how RVD looked after getting raped by Janice). and off to the hospital for him. How do they know he was attacked as the camera guy fell down and didn't get any of it. He could of done it himself. I say fire the camera guy for conveniently (yes I know it was on purpose) falling down when the attack happened. Yeah, it was stupid. Poor car.

WWF Title Match- Rock (champ) vs Mankind
DX comes out to help Mankind. Why is Mankind an underdog? (Cole calls him the underdog). Corporation comes out with Rock. Rock takes control early. Remember this is a no DQ match. And they are fighting outside the ring to the surprise of no one. Cole says that The Rock is good looking. I will let you judge yourself. Rock destroys Mankind with the stairs. Rock takes Cole's headphone and talks trash and Mankind attacks while he is doing it. King is freaking out and says someone should help rock while King stands right next to the Rock. Mankind takes the headphones and Rock hits Mankind with the bell. Rock Bottom through the table which apparently does not hurt Mankind very much. Cole says he has never seen anything like this even though they have had hardcore matches before. Mankind battles back for a little. King- Mankind is third base because everyone should step on him (not an exact quote). And a corporate elbow (people's elbow) hits for two. Mankind hits a neckbreaker and Rock hits him with a belt but only gets a two. Mankind does his DDT and he was suppose to do it on the belt but Mankind accidentally kicked the belt away for two. And he gets the Mandible Claw on Rock and Shamrock comes in and hits Mankind with a chair. Billy Gunn takes out Shamrock. Stone Cold comes out and hits Rock with a chair to give Mankind the win.

Grade A-, Great match here. With Mankind finally wins the title and I think it's that infamous thing where Tony Schiavone said he would win and said that would put butts in the seats or something like that. But the kickouts hurt this match. Mankind almost no sold a Rock Bottom through a table. Without that this match would be an A.

Overall Grade- C+, This is a very fun show but the matches are just not there. If it had one more good wrestling match then maybe this could be in the B to B+ range for me but it just was not there. It was a fun show and I would recomend the Foley match as it is one of the most infamous things to happen in professional wrestling.

 

[therockiswwf]

I will call it WWF or WWE. Just whatever I feel like writing.
Raw is War
January 11, 1999
Cole and Lawler

Intro video and we begin.

DX music hits and stand on the stage. Road Dogg does his ladies and gentlemen stuff but instead of saying the tag team champions of the world he says the world heavyweight champion of the world Mankind. Billy Gunn says if your not down with Mankind we got one word for ya- Socko. DX leave as Mankind makes his way down to the ring. Vince and Shane are watching in the back. Mankind says its about dam time he got new entrance music. Someone has a sign that says "Mankind put my ass in this seat Tony". Rock is watching in the back. Mankind says winning the title was the best moment of his career. He says Vince didn't want him in the WWE because Mankind doesn't look like a star. Mankind talks about JR and how Jim Ross got him his job. King says he wants to punch JR because he brought Mankind into the WWE. Mankind thanks Austin and DX for helping him win the title. Mankind says main eventing Wrestlemania is his dream. Mankind wants Stone Cold at Mania. Rock's music hits and he comes out with Vince and Shane. Shane calls Mankind a disgrace. Shane makes a corporation vs DX over the top rope corporate royal rumble but every member of DX have to wrestle tonight before the rumble. Winner of the rumble gets to have the number 30 spot in the rumble. Rock gets the mic now. Rock says Mankind never beat him for the title. The Rock says your cellulite ass needed to get help from the biggest piece of trailer park ass walking god's green earth. Rock says he will get Austin back someday. Rock says Mankind is not worthy of being the WWF Champ. Rock says a big monkey walked down to the ring and took a dump and out came Mankind. Funny. Big heat for Rock here. Rock wants a rematch at the Royal Rumble. Mankind says he already beaten Rock's ass twice and says Rock is not championship material. Rock says it will be a no DQ match. Mankind says Rock I smell what your cooking and it smells pretty dam bad. Rock says no count out as well. Mankind says not good enough. Rock guarantees no corporate interference. Mankind wants Rock to check himself into the Smackdown hotel because Rock gets no title shot. Rock wants Mankind to take out his little sock and stick it between his legs and feel around because there is nothing there. Mankind says are you questioning my testicular fortitude. Mankind says he will pull out socko one day and stick it in Rock in a place where the sun don't shine and then he will get a pretty good idea of what The Rock is cooking. Rock says he gives up. Mankind says he accepts. Rock says you accept what you idiot (funnier than it sounds). Mankind wants an I Quit Match. No DQ, count outs, no corporate interference, and no stopping the match for excessive blood lost. Mankind says he will kick Rock's ass. Vince gets huge heat. Vince makes Mankind vs Kane in a WWE title match. Mankind says if you smell-la-la-la what the sock is cooking. That took over 20 minutes.

Stone Cold is here.

New Age Outlaws w/Chyna vs Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett w/Debra- Number one contendership match for the Tag Team Titles.
Billy Gunn and Owen Hart start us off. Billy Gunn dominating here as Jarrett comes in and so does Road Dogg. Faces winning here. Gillberg is debuting next match. Jarrett takes over with a sort of facebuster. Owen comes in as he works over Road Dogg. Fans chant suck it. Owen almost got the sharpshooter but Dogg fought out of it. Jarrett comes in. Dogg and Jarrett mess up a spot where they both go down with double drop kicks but Dogg forgets to jump. Hot tag to Gunn and famasser to Owen but Debra distracts Gunn but Gunn tells her to suck it. Dogg comes in. Debra distracts Chyna which makes Gunn goes over to stop it for some reason. Owen wins with a spinning heel kick (I'm not joking) around the seven minute mark. (note: I will rarely put down the times of the matches). Chyna pushes down Debra to a big pop.

Grade C-,It was a good match but very short. If it had more time it would have been good with the way it was going.

Gillberg debut time. They do the Goldberg cop thing. As I wonder how the cops keep a straight face during this as this is just hilarious. they pipe the Gillberg chants and they admit it to make fun of wCw for doing that with Goldberg. Gillberg's pyro is sparklers and then he chokes on the smoke. This is just funny. He is also light heavy weight champion here. Gillberg says he doesn't want to know who is next he wants to know who is first.

Gillberg vs Luna
He goes for a spear right away but Luna side steps him and he runs into the ring post. Luna throws him back into the ring. Luna does a low blow or punches his leg, I'm not sure. He reverses a suplex and goes for the jack-hammer and Cole says he is staying true to form knowing only one move (spear + Jack-hammer = 2). Luna is too heavy for Gillberg as Luna falls on top of Gillberg. Luna off the top rope for the three.

Grade B+, I'm still laughing my ass off. This was just hilarious. This most of the time wont work but this was just funny.

The person who will become (I think) Torri runs in and attacks Luna (Torri is a fan here so she gets taken away by security).

HBK gets surgery tomorrow.

Dennis Knight comes out saying he is here. He is talking to Cole and Lawler here as the APA make him go to the back.

Val Venis vs ???
Val Venis titantron video is so over the top its funny. I have always liked Venis. He cuts one one of his sex promos. Venis spots someone he likes and does his grinding thing in front of her. Shamrock Runs out and beats up Venis and says you don't mess with my sister. Oh its Ryan Shamrock that Venis did the grinding thing to. Shamrock is so nuts I don't think I would want to even pretend to piss him off. Shamrock walks back to the stage. Billy Gunn is in the ring now saying hold on there Kennith. Gunn moons his sister. Shamrock then proceeds to kick Gunn's ass. Venis gets in the ring but Bossman comes out to help Shamrock. Shamrock gives Billy Gunn a IC title match at the rumble. Shamrock goes over and hugs his sister.

Grade N/A, Duh. No match.

Mankind and Austin are shown talking backstage but you can't hear what they say.

European Championship Match: X-pac vs Al Snow
Snow doesn't have his head as Goldust stole it on Heat. Headlock to start us off. X-pac takes early advantage. Al Snow takes over as he headbutts X-pac in the corner. Chopes from X-pac. As Snow throws Pac to the corner and then gives him a back breaker. Sleeper goes on and then Pac fights out of it and gives Snow a spinning heel kick. Moonsualt missed for Pac as Pac gives another spinning heel kick and then gives Snow a bronco buster. Goldust runs down and drills Snow with head and then Pac gets the x-factor for the three.

Grade D,Not much happened.

Post match
Snow gets right up (literally) after the three count and goes after Goldust but Goldust drills him again with head and now he crawls after Goldust but Goldust gets away.

Kane wants to face Mankind alone.

WWF Title Match: Kane vs Mankind
King doesn't do his yelp when Kane's pyro hits but does when Kane does his in-ring pyro. Kane goes after Mankind before he gets into the ring and throws him into the steel steps. Even though this is not a no DQ match they both use the steps and the ref doesn't care. Both in the ring now and Kane takes over. Mankind gets some punches in. Kane gets a spinebuster. Big boot by the big guy. Kane is now choking Mankind on the ropes. Mankind gets a piledriver that gets a two count. Mankind baseball slides Kane out of the ring. They both go to the floor now as Kane takes over again and throws Mankind back in the ring. Kane does his clothesline off the top rope for two. Chokeslam time and no Mankind gets a double armed DDT and pulls out socko. How can you use it on a guy with a mask? Kane gets out of it and Tombstone but Rock comes in and breaks up the pinfall. No contest as the ref calls for the bell. So using the steps is not a DQ but Rock pulling Kane off Mankind is?

Grade C-, This was actually a good match. Nothing really happened but it wasn't bad.

Post Match
Rock gets a chair and destroys both of them with head shots (which now knowing what damage that can do, makes me cringe). Kane gets hit a few more times in the head not putting his arms up once. Stone Cold comes out and Mankind takes the chair away and Rock runs as Stone Cold gives a stunner to Mankind and Kane.

Commercial time.

Rock is talking to Vince in the back saying he wont let that big red ****** get the title and will make Mankind scream I Quit at the Royal Rumble.

HHH w/Chyna vs Edge
Edge still coming out through the crowd and is apart of the Brood. HHH does his usual DX pre-match stuff. He is not the game yet. Lock-up to start as Edge gets the early advantage. HHH does the ten punches in the corner thing but Edge reverses and starts to choke HHH. Not one mention of what is going on in the ring right now. Flapjack by Edge and finally they start talking about the match. Now they stop talking about it again. HHH does his knee facebuster thing. HHH goes for the Pedigree but Edge reverses it into a catapult. Edge goes for the neckbreaker but it gets reversed into a pedigree for the three.

Grade D+, Good but like most of the other matches it was very short.

Post Match
Brood come out and attack HHH. Rest of DX come out for the save but the lights go out and when they come back on Road Dogg is covered in blood. King- Hold me... I mean come over here.

Commercial time.

Now it is time for the debut of the Ministry of Darkness. They show Dennis Knight on the stage laid out on a table with the APA watching over him. Undertaker's music hits as Cole says uh-oh in a really funny way. Undertaker comes out with Paul Bearer. Taker cuts a freaking awesome and scary promo at the same time. He says hell has relocated to Earth. He is sitting in a throne with his symbol on it. He then proceeds to go over to Dennis Knight and cuts his arm with a knife and bleeds into a cup and makes Dennis Knight drink it. He is now officially Mideon. Taker opens Mideon's shirt and cuts his symbol into Mideons chest. Mideon then starts to float. Thunder bolt to Takers symbol and his symbol is now on fire. This is so over the top that it's actually good. You should look this promo on youtube it's actually really good.

Commercial time.

D-lo comes out with PMS. Because of what he did last week D-lo has to do whatever Terri says. He doesn't want to do what Terri says but he will do it reluctantly.

D-lo vs Mark Henry
D-lo and Mark are friends. Henry comes out in a dress shirt and pants for some reason. They don't want to fight and Mark turns to leave but Jacqueline pushes D-lo into Henry and then Terri low blows Mark Henry and Chyna and women comes out and PMS and D-lo leave while Chyna and women help Henry to the back.

Grade N/A, No match.

Commercial time.

Backstage Women and Chyna are helping Henry.

They recap Vince's training for the Royal Rumble. It's actually really funny. You should look this up.

Corporate Rumble: DX vs Corporation- Winner gets to be number 30 in the Royal Rumble
Shamrock is out first as Shane is now on commentary. Billy Gunn is number two. Shamrock botches a dive over the top rope onto Gunn (Billy falls forward instead of back) to eliminate himself. Gunn then gets his ass kicked. Bossman now out and Shamrock is gone and Billy is in the ring. Billy getting his asked kicked some more. Test comes out next and they accidentally play the Outlaws music. Gunn gets double teamed. Shane is funny on commentary. He should of became a commentator. X-pac is out next. Cole- Shane, you know all about X-pac - Shane- Yeah, whatever. Test eliminates Gunn. Shane is a great cheerleader. Shane being a total dick to Cole is hilarious. Road Dogg now out. Not much happening but the commentary is awesome. Kane out next complete with the lights go out and pyro even though people are in the ring. Kings does his yelp to Kane's pyro. Road Dogg is gone and he did a total face plant on the apron. HHH out next and Cole says he is the last participent in the rumble. Test accidentaly hits Kane and Kane eliminates him. Kane get eliminated by Pac and HHH and Pac gets eliminated by Bossman. HHH and Bossman are left. Horn sounds and Vince is now coming to the ring. He eliminates Bossman and HHH at the same time when Bossman was trying to eliminate HHH. Horn sounds and Chyna comes out. Stooges try to stop here from coming in and she knocks them down. Austin music hits and Vince's face is priceless and the distraction cause Chyna to eliminate Vince. Chyna is now number 30 in the Royal Rumble. Shane overreacting is funny.

Grade C, The match itself was meh at best but combined with the crowd, Shane, Vince's face and other things it was fun.

Overall Grade B-, I enjoyed this very much. It was just all sorts of crazy. With the Ministry debuting and Gillberg's debut among other things made this a good show. But the wrestling has to get better as it's just not there.

 

[Hollywood Naitch]

Great start to this series mate. I agree with the awesome Gillberg debut, that was hilarious and such a blatant two fingers to WCW lol!

Watching that Ministry induct Dennis Knight made me realise how awesome WWE was back in 99, you would NEVER get to do that sort of stuff in the PG era we have know. There is simply no comparison in how enjoyable Raw was back then to how enjoyable it is now.

 

[therockiswwf]

Raw is War
January 18, 1999
Cole and Lawler

A short video on Martin Luther King Jr. (and he happens to have the same birthday as me, 1/15) and then the intro video and we begin.

Stone Cold's music hits and the crowd goes insane. Cole wants to know how he feels about the Royal Rumble match but Stone Cold wants to talk about how Mankind won the title. He compliments Foley some more. Stone Cold wants to face at Wrestlemania. Stone Cold says he know how the Royal Rumble could be his last chance at the title and talks about how Vince put a bounty on his head. Austin says he will win the Rumble. He does his gimme a hell yeah stuff. He talks about how he will beat Vince's ass. Stone Cold does a beer bash on the announce table.

The Rock will face Kane later, Mankind will face the Bossman, Hardcore title match between Gangrel and Road Dogg, and Chyna vs the Stooges in a handicap match and DX cannot interfere.

Chyna has given Mark Henry until tonight to come clean about something. King is very happy about that.

Road Dogg is shown in the back searching for weapons and puts the Hardcore title in a trash can, nice.

Hardcore title match: Road Dogg vs Gangrel
Road Dogg will Boss Man at the Royal Rumble in a challenge match. That match has literally no build for it. This match is a result from last week because Gangrel gave Road Dogg a blood bath. I have always liked Road Dogg for no reason. Road Dogg says tonight he is a vampire slayer. Gangrel's music maybe the most addicting song ever. Road Dogg attacks Gangrel while he is doing the spitting blood thing. I love how in regular matches a chair shot or being put through a table will usually end the match but in hardcore matches you will get right back up. They go outside immediately after the bell rings and Gangrel takes control early hitting Road Dogg with a kendo stick. Gangrel sends Road Dogg into the barricade as Cole and Lawler talk about other stuff. Road Dogg regains control and sends Gangrel into the stairs. They go into the crowd now but that is short lived as they go back over the barricade within seconds. Road Dogg tosses a table into the ring and sets it up. Gangrel then does a low blow and basically does Jack Swagger's finisher to put Road Dogg through the table but only gets a two count. Road Dogg then DDTs Gangrel onto the broken table. King says Road Dogg has hardcore hair. Gangrel regains control by hitting Road Dogg with a piece of the table and then baseball slides him out of the ring. king- You're out. Gangrel hits Road Dogg with the trash can that Road Dogg put the Hardcore title in earlier. Gangrel will face X-pac for the European title at the Royal Rumble because he wants to, I guess. Road Dogg puts Gangrel on a table on the outside and does an elbow drop off the apron and the table does not break. Road Dogg then goes for a leg drop (more of an ass drop as only his ass hits Gangrel) off the apron and the table will still not break. King- That must be a hardcore table. Road Dogg then jumps off the top rope and the table still is not broken all the way. Damn that must be a Sabu table. Cole says exactly what King just said about the table. Gangrel gets up first from that for some reason. In a cool spot (but it is kind of hard to explain), Road Dogg Irish whips Gangrel at the table but Gangrel does a front flip over the front part of the table and lands on the other side. Road Dogg then suplexes Gangrel onto the table. Road Dogg does a chair shot to the head and then does another on but jumps off the apron before he hits him the head for the three at exactly 6:38 (I have no idea why I timed this match). Gangrel didn't put his arms up at all.

Grade C, Good hardcore match albeit a little on the short side.

Austin is shown drinking a beer in the back and that makes Cole question why he is still there. Well maybe because, you know, IT'S HIS JOB.

Commercial time.

Ken Shamrock is shown lacing up his boots in the back while Cole is confused by why he is doing that when he is not scheduled for a match tonight.

Billy Gunn vs Test
Oh look who is conveniently out after they show Shamrock lacing up his boots. His opponent at the Royal Rumble. I think I know what happens here. Gunn cuts a generic I got two words for ya promo. Test went from bad jobber music 2 weeks ago to another jobber music this week. Nothing going on so far. Just punches so far. Literally they are doing nothing. Cole says that the upcoming Royal Rumble is the most star studded Rumble ever. That is very funny. Okay not really but it made me chuckle. They say D-lo and Mark Henry are two of the BIG stars in it. Sorry for not talking about the match but seriously who cares they are not doing anything. Oh Test hits Jack Swagger's special for two. What is up with everyone using his move tonight? Gunn hits a bad fameasser where Gunn pushes Test's head down but his leg never even come nears Test's head. Oh hey Shamrock is now out destroying Gunn. Man who could of guessed that would happen? King tries to hide behind Cole from Shamrock. Shamrock then does a 20 second ankle lock to set up an injury angle.

Grade F+, Who in the hell cared.

Ad for half time heat.

Billy Gunn is shown backstage with Road Dogg and a doctor trying to take off his boot. Gunn says (and I quote) "ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, *@#!$*, *@!$#*," while the doctor takes off his boot. Just a little bit of an over reaction.

From there we go to Kevin Kelly with Owen Hart, Jeff Jarrett and Debra. They talk about how they are the number one contender. They say they will face the tag champs next week on Raw. The tag champs (Big Boss Man and Shamrock) attack them.

Another recap video of Vince training for the Royal Rumble. The music in the background is just perfect as this is just funny. Shane is a great cheerleader. Shane- Number 30 wont work as obviously Mr. Michaels has made you number 2 (originally Vince was number 30 in the Rumble in case you didn't know).

Boss Man is shown backstage beating up Mankind. Where are the refs to stop this?

Dan "The Beast" Sevren vs Steve Blackman
Boring, Boring, Boring. Oh Lawler can he ever just pick one Royal Rumble winner. Sevren low blows Blackman for the DQ. It almost put me to sleep and it was less than three minutes long.

Grade F----, BORING.

They show Stone Cold in the back drinking beer still as Cole and Lawler question why he is sill there. WTF, why are they questioning why he is in the back drinking beers?

Mankind and Boss Man are still fighting as apparently the refs don't fell like breaking that fight up.

Recap of Rock/Mankind feud. Mankind says one of the best lines ever "How does it feel, Rock? That you are in a match that you can't win and I can't lose." Just plain awesome.

Mankind vs Boss Man
They fight their way to the ring. This is a no DQ match. Not much happening. Nothing bad but just nothing is happening. Just normal hardcore stuff. A few weapons and moves mixed in but the hardcore match from earlier was much better. Mankind gets socko on Boss Man but Rock comes out and levels Mankind with a chair. Rock talks some trash hits Mankind again and leaves.

Grade N/A, Almost nothing happened.

Chyna is shown walking to the ring with Henry pleading with her not to do it. He says his mom is out there.

Again they complain about Austin being there. WHY?????? are they questioning what he is doing? WHY??

Vince, Shane, Rock, and Kane are shown in the back. Vince says he can't do anything about the Rock vs Kane match (which I always wished they had a proper feud and PPV match) but he says he knows Kane will do the right thing or its back to the looney bin. The Rock says does the Big Red ****** even know what you are saying. Vince says to Kane you will do what I damn well tell you to do.

Chyna walks down to the ring. Mark says please Chyna no my mom is here look (they then show her). Jerry is very excited about this. I could buy that person as being his mom. Mark admits that he and Chyna didn't do anything; not the wild thang, crazy thang, not any thang (yes he says thang). Chyna says role the footage. It shows that after Chyna left the room last week. The women tried to make Mark feel better by sucking his cock (they only show his upper body so you don't see it) he feels her ass and then feels her front side where her vagina should be but instead its a cock. SHE IS A MAN. I knew it there was no way that person was a girl not even close. Mark threw up afterwards. Chyna low blows him and leaves. Mark then goes over to his mom and his mom spanks him a little and grabs him by the ear and takes him to the back. Cole- Hey King I thought I saw you kissing Sammy before. King- I don't have a son (will he ever admit Brian Christopher is his son). Henry and his mom are shown walking in the back giving him more spankings.

The Stooges are shown fighting over who wants to beat Chyna.

Al Snow vs Goldust- Winner gets head
King looks really weird and he wants to hold head because I guess he loves head. Not much going on but at least this has a mini-feud. Solid stuff but it is still nothing special. Can something please happen? Nope, okay. Snow gets a cool roll-up for the win

Grade F, BORING.

Post match
Goldust does Shattered Dreams to Al (OUCH!!!!). Even though the winner gets head Goldust decides to take it anyways. It makes the match completely pointless.

Again they complain about Austin being there.

Stooges fight about who is Vince's favorite. I like this.

Ministry of Darkness coming out. Taker says they will get a new member at the Royal Rumble. Another awesome promo by him.

The Stooges vs Chyna
Total comedy match here. But it is one of those good ones. During the match the Stooges throw powder in Chyna's face and while she is blind they proceed to smack her ass and touch her boobs. King- I don't think Patterson liked that. Patterson goes for a low blow on Chyna and what do you think happened. Also during the match, she does a double crotch grab. The Stooges fight each other throughout the match. Chyna pins both at the same time to win. Sable was coming down during the match (and I have no idea why) but Luna beat her up.

Grade A, I loved the Stooges. If you ever have nothing to do you should watch this match. This was better than Gillberg.

Austin is still there and they complain again.

Shane and Vince say Kane will do what he is supposed to do.

Rock vs Kane
Whole Corporation come to the ring. Kane comes out next and yes King yelps to Kane's pyro. I cannot tell you how much I love that. Vince tells Rock to do the finger and the chest routine (Finger Poke of Doom). King- oh one of those. Kane does the flip off thing with the arms instead of the middle finger thing. Corporation attack him. Rock in a 500 dollar shirt right now. Rock wants to whip Kane's candy ass on his own. Just plain brawling here and nothing wrong with that. Corporation come back and attack when Kane is about to chokeslam Rock. Mankind comes out for the save. Stone Cold comes out and Mankind whacks Rock with the chair.

Grade C, I know I didn't write much but it was just a big fun brawl.

Overall Grade C-,- It was a good episode but no one cared about most of the matches. The lack of good wrestling hurt this. I almost gave it a D+ but it barely got C-.

 

[therockiswwf]

Sorry for not posting a review in a while. It is just that I don't have a TV (that has a dvd player) directly next to a computer, I have one near a tv but not next to. Since I have a torn ACL, the constant getting up (to see the tv) and sitting back down (to write the stuff) made my knee really sore. I am getting surgery next month. I will continue this once I am better but I wont be better for a long time (6 months or so). I will try to do a few more before my surgery but don't hold your breath. Sorry about this.

 

[therockiswwf]

I'm getting surgery tomorrow so I wont write anything for around six months. As I said before I will continue this. I have written about 10 episode reviews on paper but I was just too lazy to write them on here. So when I come back I will post a lot of episodes at once.

PS- Going to Smackdown on Feb 15, I finally get to sit in the handicap seats .

 

[therockiswwf]

From now on (unless I forget), I will put WWF instead of E. I finally figured out to get the DVDs to work on my computer (which means I may be able to do these more often). I also somehow managed to lose all the reviews I wrote on paper.

Royal Rumble
January 24, 1999
Cole and Lawler

Opens with a recap of Austin/Vince and the theme music for this event later became Vince's theme. 100,000 dollars for whoever can throw Austin out of the rumble.

Hardcore Champion Road Dogg vs One Half of the Tag Team Champions Big Bossman - Non-titleRoad Dogg was really good with the crowd. It is being billed as a special challenge match. Oh and there will be a tag title match tomorrow on Raw. Some theatrics to start. Kind of a slow start. Big Bossman just doing generic stuff to Road Dogg. Road Dogg takes over with a dropkick. Road Dogg does that pull under turnbuckle/low blow thing but doesn't get DQ'd because the ref just felt like looking the other way for no reason. The announcers have actually talked about this match most of the time, very surprising. Bossman takes back over with some power stuff. Now a bear hug because this match can't get any better. Wow, Bossman is the definition of average. Lawler - Bad cop, no donut. Road Dogg is just getting his ass kicked by an offense consisting of punches, kicks and a bear hug. Bossman goes up to the top rope for no reason and Road Dogg takes advantage and throws him off. That makes King go (and I kind of mis-quote) "I want to take Road Dogg by the hair and throw him into the 18th row." And now a slug fest and somehow Road Dogg wins it. Shake, Rattle and Roll from Road Dogg and Bossman goes down. Blackhole slam (which Cole calls a sidewalk slam) out of freaking nowhere and that gets Bossman the victory.

Grade D, The crowd wanted to cheer for Road Dogg but never really got a chance to. This was basically a really long squash match.

IC Title Match - Ken Shamrock (c) vs "Bad Ass" Billy Gunn
This all started because Billy wanted a title match. Oh and because Billy mooned Shamrock's sister. Billy's ankle is injured from Shamrock's ankle lock. Billy Gunn says Ken come down here and get your ass kicked. Really strong and needed promo there. Billy is running on his bad ankle. Great selling there. Billy is not selling at all. Billy with a sleeper and a suplex. Lawler - You got to think... hairy butt crack right in her face. Shamrock just rapes Billy's face with a big kick. Famasser but the announcers don't say anything about it, no crowd reaction and no big kickout...okay, I'm confused??? He did his finisher as a regular move. Ken takes over and just throws billy around on the outside of the ring. Billy does a kind of bulldog to Shamrock from the ring apron to the table. They were on the outside for at least 3:24 minutes, I kept track. Isn't that a count-out? Ankle lock by Shamrock and it was locked on for 2 seconds and now Billy's ankle hurts. A front facelock from Ken and then another one. The ref goes down but Billy's ankle doesn't hurt again even though Ken has been working on it for about the whole match. Now Val Venis comes in and DDTs Shamrock and Shamrock looks dead. Cover one, two, no. So close. Shamrock is now in la la land according to Cole. Billy goes for a double axe handle (number 1 rule in pro wrestling - Never do a double axe handle off the top rope, IT NEVER WORKS) and misses which makes Billy's ankle is now hurt, again. Ken gets another ankle lock and Billy taps.

Grade C, Not bad but not great either. Billy has to learn how to sell because he never looked hurt.

Shane gives an encouraging speech to Vince. Shane - You are the man. You got Austin. That took six seconds.

Euro Title Match - Gangrel vs X-pac (c)
Gangrel was just pure awesome and X-pac well would become X-punk. Hip toss by X-pac to start. Cole has said that both of these guys are working double duty tonight, in EVERY match. Bell-to-belly from Gangrel gets a two. Time to talk about where we are live tonight because that is more interesting than the match. Damn, Gangrel went to the top rope and literally when a little over half way across the ring. Bronco Buster which does nothing. King is complaining about X-pac's educated feet. A three count after a roll-up but doesn't call for the bell. Teddy Long fucked up. X-pac gets the X-factor for the three.

Grade D+, Had some good moves, a ref botch and Gangrel's music. Everything else than that sucked. They re-play the ref botch.

I just realized, No more Vince training videos. Damn, those were awesome.

DX interview. We are all friends but it is every man for themselves. But we will still be friends after it. I didn't sugar coat that at all...

Shane comes out to odd music.

Women's Title Match - Sable (c) vs Luna
This a strap match. Sable's back is hurt, probably from laying on it to much (I tried). Shane's commentary is the only reason to watch this. The ending is the ending of I carry you on my back and touch three then I reverse it and touch the last one. Sable wins.

Grade F, For BORING.

Bossman, Test and Shamrock talking about the rumble for two seconds because they wanted to waste time or something.

WWF Title Match - I Quit Match - The Rock vs Mankind (c)
You should watch the build up for this. The you can't win and I can't lose line from Mankind maybe the best line ever. This is that match where I still don't know how Foley didn't die. OH MY GOD, they bleeped the word bitch out of the build up video. But they didn't bleep out The Rock using the word bitch this past Monday. But all those people told me that PG is only for little kids and they can't say bad words (sarcasm). Rock is wearing his sweat suite thing, I always hated that. And the match is underway. Mankind taking the early going and does his Foley knee thing. Mankind grabs the mic and then just gives it right back to the ref. Mankind asks Rock if he quits, Rock says you can kiss his ass. Rock gets a punch in the face for that and a few mic shots to the head. Mankind "What do you say now you son of a bitch", Rock "The Rock is going to kick your fat ass." Now to the outside. Mankind gets sent into the steps and The Rock grabs Cole's headphones, I love it when he does that. Rock gets mad at King for not saying anything and when King tries to say turn around, Rock says shout your mouth. Mankind now takes over again. Mankind asks Rock if he quits, Rock "You can kiss the Rock's ass." Few more mic shots to the head and now they both go back into the ring. Mankind hits his double under hook DDT and pulls out socko. And he locks in the claw. Rock is out and Mankind says he is going to spit open his ridiculous eyebrow. Cole "This kind of a match for Mankind, is like a kid in a candy store." Now they go out over the barricade. Rock kind of does a belly-to-belly back the barricade and literally just missed landing on his head. Rock gets the bell and a hammer and puts the bell on Mankind's head and rings it. Rock then sings bells will be ringing and hits him again. Rock setting up for a Rock bottom on the Spanish announce table but the announce table breaks right before the Rock Bottom. Rock "Say I quit right now you piece of monkey crap", Mankind "Up yours Rock." Rock spits some water into Mankind's face which makes Mankind very angry. Mankind now just slugs away at him. Cole "This is Mick Foley's type of match", King "Because he is an idiot." They are now fighting there way up the stage. Rock hits a DDT on the concrete. Mankind kicks Rock in the balls and asks him if he quits. Rock "You can go piss yourself." Mankind misses an elbow drop. Rock climbs a ladder up to the crowd and Mankind follows. They are up kind of high and Rock throws Mankind off the ledge into the electrical equipment and they lose the lights in the arena. They start using a spotlight. The announcers are now concerned and now Shane comes out and he begs for the match to be stopped. Rock "No, no, no, that son of a bitch will scream I quit and I will be damned if he doesn't." They are slowly fighting there way back to the ring. Cole is demanding that this end now. Cole "How did Mankind get back to the ring", King "Rock picked him up and threw him in, that's how." Now Rock gets handcuffs and handcuffs Mankind. King "I saw this on cops once." Mankind gets a low blow and King calls him a cheater. Mankind starts biting him and and a KNEE DROP TO THE BALLS. Rock gets up two seconds later completely fine. Rock gets a chair, puts it on Mankind's head and does the Corporate Elbow on it. Rock asks him if he quits, Mankind "Go to hell Rock." Rock "Rock may go to hell but your candy ass first." Here we go with the chair shots to the head. This is hard to watch. Two head shots and even Jerry says that is enough. Rock "Say I quit" (He said that oddly fast). Mankind "You will have to kill me." Three head shots, four, five. Jerry is now begging for him to quit. Six head shots, seven, eight, nine. GOOD FUCKING LORD. Ten head shots. They just play a recording of Mankind saying I quit. Rock wins.

Grade A, This was a great match but the ending was just horrifying. How Mick Foley is even walking after that is a mystery. This was just too much. If you ever think that the WWE shouldn't have banned head shots, go watch this. Cole is actually doing some great commentary here. Mick is walking out on his own, refusing the stretcher. Damn Cole, is actually really really good here.

Promo video about Austin and Vince, no one else is shown. They show a thing where he couldn't get into the building because he didn't have a limo... HOW DID MANKIND GET IN? They kept talking about how Mankind sleeps in his car or motel rooms and stuff, when did he get a limo? Stone Cold got in by getting a monster limo truck. So are there only two people in the rumble?

Royal Rumble
100,000 bounty on Austin here. Austin and Vince are number 1 and 2. King starts complaining about Howard taking to long explaining the rumble rules, funny. Vince comes out to no music and damn Vince is huge. Match is underway and Stone Cold is stomping a mudhole in Vince. Stone Cold is opening a can of whoop ass on Vince. Golga comes out next and the whole crowd is doing an arm wave thing. Golga going straight for Austin but makes quick work of him and Vince goes under the bottom rope and runs for dear life. Austin in pursuit. Droz is out next but no one is in the ring so he just sits there. Vince goes into the ladies room and Austin follows. Its a trap and members of the corporation beat the shit out Stone Cold...wait, wouldn't anyone have noticed or said something about the fact that there are 15 guys in the women's bathroom? The camera man got knocked down. Edge is out next. Droz and Edge are in the ring now. Droz and Edge doing basic rumble stuff. Out next is, GILLBERG. The crowd is going wild. He is King's pick to win. Oh Austin and Vince are still in this. Edge throws Gillberg right out. Damn. Austin is shown laying in the bathroom, he looks like he is dead. I'm still mad that Gillberg isn't in this. Steve Blackman comes out next. Blackman goes right after Droz. Stone Cold is no going on a stretcher. Blackman, Edge and Droz are still in the ring. "The Beast" Dan Severen is out next and Severen comes in and spears Blackman. Austin going to the hospital now and I wonder if anything is going on in the ring as they just show Austin. Tiger Ali Singh is out next. Lets show more Austin. Austin is now taken away in an ambulance. Edge, Droz, Tiger, Severen and Blackman are still in. Blue Meanie is out next and he jiggles his way down to the ring. Vince hasn't been eliminated yet. Horn sounds and no one comes out. Oh its Mabel and he is shown destroying Mosh. Mabel is now in. Mabel eliminates Severen, Blackman and Singh (in that order). Road Dogg is out next as Meanie eliminates Droz and Meanie. Road Dogg eliminates Edge and the lights go out. Undertaker's music hits and the Acolytes and Mideon eliminate Mabel and the Ministry of Darkness surround Mabel. They then kidnap him, nice. They have somehow managed to overbook a rumble. Gangrel is out next. The crowd bobs their heads to his music. Road Dogg makes quick work of Gangrel. King is 0-3 in his picks (Gillberg, Gangrel, Blackman). Kurrgan is out next and the crowd waves their hands again to the music. Kurrgan doing some basic big man stuff. Al Snow is out next. King "We have gone from odd to odder." Snow goes right after Kurrgan. Road Dogg eliminates Snow. Kurrgan beats up Road Dogg some more. Goldust comes out next. King "We go from odd [Kurrgan], to even more odd [Al Snow], to the odd ball [Goldust]." Goldust goes right after Road Dogg. King "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, that is certainly true with Goldust isn't it." Goldust gets a DDT on Kurrgan. Goldust low blows Road Dogg. Godfather (#17) is out next. Crowd chants "We want hoes." Kane is out next. King does a super yelp when Kane's pyro hits, my favorite thing ever. Kane just chucks Road Dogg out. Kane also eliminates Kurrgan, Godfather and Goldust. King is now 0-4 (Kurrgan, Blackman, Gillberg, Gangrel). Kane is now King's favorite. Now white coat people come out and try to take Kane back to the looney bin but Kane chases them. Kane eliminates himself to chase them and now King is 0-5. Shamrock is out next. Vince is back and he just goes to the commentary table. Vince says Austin is not coming back. Which means he is coming back. Billy Gunn is out next. Limping all the way to the ring. Hey, Billy actually sold the injury this time. Billy Gunn almost throws Shamrock out. Test is out next. Undertaker is still trying to kidnap Mabel. An ambulance is shown and its Stone Cold. Someone arrest him, he stole an ambulance. King agrees with me. Austin is coming back out and Bossman music hits but he doesn't come out. Now he is. Stone Cold eliminates Shamrock. This is a clusterfuck. HHH is out next. Billy Gunn goes after Austin. Now HHH goes after Austin. Val Venis is now out. Vince is still on commentary. Austin eliminates Billy. King "Billy Gunn, I have got two words for ya, you're out." X-pac is out next. Mark Henry is out next. Henry, Austin, Bossman, HHH, Test, X-pac, Vince and Val Venis are still in this. They make a Henry/Sammy joke. Vince "That was a mistake." Yes, yes it was. Too much going on to write about it. Jeff Jarrett is out next. Bronco Buster from X-pac to Bossman. Number 28 is D-lo. They talk about the PMS/D-lo killing Terri's baby. I wonder if it was D-lo's fault... Test and X-pac are out. King is now 0-6 (Test) but Cole says he is 0-3. Cole must be really bad at math. Owen Hart is out next. Jeff got eliminated. Austin goes under the bottom rope and threw water on Vince. Austin goes back into the ring. Chyna (#30) is out next. First women ever to enter the rumble match. Chyna eliminates Mark Henry. Austin eliminates Chyna. HHH goes after Austin. King thinks a knee to the face is a Pedigree. HHH eliminates Val Venis. Austin stunners HHH and eliminates him. D-lo, Bossman, Owen, Autin and Vince are left. Owen gets eliminated by Austin. Bossman eliminates D-lo. Austin Stunners and then eliminates Bossman. Austin and Vince start brawling. Austin whoops Vince for a while. Chair shot to the head of Vince. Austin does some more whipping. Rock then comes out and distracts Austin long enough for Vince to recover and eliminate Austin. Vince wins.

Grade D+, It was an overbooked, ridiculous, stupid Rumble. Vince winning was more shocking and surprising than any other Rumble winner ever. It was really stupid though to have Vince win. They should have let Stone Cold win. There wasn't really anyone but Austin who actually could have won this, maybe HHH but Austin was really the only choice. I still don't get why they had Vince win.

Overall Grade D, This PPV actually sucked. The only good match was Rock/Mankind. The Rumble was just total chaos. The undercard was just complete crap.

 

[therockiswwf]

I am very sorry for this but I will not be able to continue this anymore. Something personal (family health matter, it will probably turn out ok, but it will take a long time) time came up and I don't want to discuss it. These take me 2 to 3 hours to do, which is something I really don't have time for anymore. I will still post on the forums, as those don't take me a long time to do. I hate being the cryptic guy here, but none of you need to know what is going on.

(PS - The health matter is not about me)

Since KB has started full years of Raw/Smackdown stuff, he will probably start this one soon (and get them out much quicker than me). Since this matter is going to take a long time (I don't want to make you guys wait this long), one of the mods should close this. Again very sorry about this.

 

[therockiswwf]

1. My dad beat cancer (that was the health issue and the reason I stopped doing these)
2. I will start doing this again

Raw is War
January 25, 1999
Michael Cole and Jerry "The King" Lawler

We open with a recap of the Royal Rumble, its what you would expect. Intro video and the show begins.

We go directly to the ring where Shane McMahon and the Corporation introduces the winner of the 1999 Royal Rumble, Vince McMahon. Huge boovation for Vince. Vince says he is going to Wrestlemania and then turns the attention towards The Rock. Vince is going to give the 100,000 dollar bounty (the bounty was for anyone that could eliminate Austin from the Rumble) to The Rock (in cash) for helping Vince win the Rumble. Vince removes himself as the number one contender for Wrestlemania but he [Vince] will choose the number one contender at a later time. Austin appears on the titantron, Austin is in Shawn Michael's house (HBK was the commissioner at the time) and says he is going to Wrestlemania to face the champion. HBK (who looks fine after he was almost murdered about 21 days earlier) makes Austin vs the champion at Wrestlemania. Austin then challenges Vince to a cage match, to where if Austin loses, he loses his Wrestlemania title match and will never have another title shot. Vince accepts and we go to commercial.
Segment time: 17:23

We see an armored car show up with The Rock's 100,000 dollars in it. Tag team title match will happen tonight. Shamrock/Bossman vs Owen/Jarrett with Debra.

HHH challenges The Rock to an I Quit, WWF title match, tonight.

Goldust vs Billy Gunn with Chyna and HHH
Goldust starts off with the advantage, hitting an Edgecution. Gunn takes over after a failed Shattered Dreams by Goldust. Goldust has Al Snow's head in the corner. Goldust's music starts and here comes Azuldust...I mean the Blue Meanie dressed as Goldust. Bluedust hits Goldust in the head with Al Snow's head and one piledriver later ends Goldust. Blue Meanie leaves with Al Snow's head.
Match Time: Exactly 2 mins
Grade: N/A

Mankind is shown in the back, which for some reason confuses Michael Cole. Commercial break #2.

Oddities are in the ring waiting for their challengers. Here comes...The Rock, who tells the Oddities to hit the bricks (despite being 12 million feet taller than The Rock, the Oddities comply without any trouble). Rock accepts HHH's challenge for an I Quit match. Mankind is shown on the titantron. Mankind beats up the security guarding the armored car and takes The Rock's money. Mankind comes out to the ramp and throws a lot of The Rock's money to the crowd. Mankind figures out that The Rock used a recording of Mankind saying I quit to win the match at the Royal Rumble. Mankind challenges him to an empty arena title match for next Sunday at half-time heat. Commercial break #3.
Segment time: 11:02

Mideon comes out and gives Lawler and Cole an eyeball in a jar and says that evil is coming again tonight.

God dammit, the Oddities come back out for their match.

George "The Animal" Steel vs Droz
The rest of the Oddities leave before the match starts. Please be quick and good lord George has no shirt on. Steel is really fat. Steel exposes the turnbuckle, which Droz throws Steel into the exposed steel for the win.
Match Time: 49 seconds
Grade: N/A

After the match, Droz continues the attack after and the Oddities make the save. Commercial break #4.

During the break, the Stooges give Shamrock and Bossman anti-boner medication so they can focus on the match instead of Debra.

Interview with Debra, who says that no one can resist her. Mark Henry then hits on her.

Tag Team Title Match: Bossman/Shamrock (c) vs Owen/Jarrett with Debra
Debra tries to seduce Bossman at the start of the match but the anti-boner medication works and Bossman ignores her. Not much is going on, just generic offense from Bossman to Jarrett. Owen comes in as I realize both these teams are heels. Shamrock comes in and does nothing of note. Owen hits a big kick to Shamrocks face. Shamrock takes back over as Debra takes her shirt off but Shamrock ignores it. Bossman and Jarrett start to fight on the floor. As the Blue Blazer comes in and hits Shamrock with a guitar, to give Owen/Jarrett the victory and the titles.
Match Time: 5:12
Grade: D+,Boring match but at least we got to see Debra in a bra.

Owen/Jarrett get interviewed after the match and Owen says that proves that he is not the Blue Blazer.Commercial break #5.

We come back with Shane McMahon coming to the ring with the Stooges. Shane says that Kane has made a lot of mistakes but that he forgives Kane. Shane wants an apology from Kane. Kane says I'm sorry. Shane wants Kane to get on his knees to apologize. Which brings out X-pac who says that Shane needs to be a star and needs to stop being a bully. X-pac wants Kane to join DX. X-pac goes after Shane but Kane gets a chokeslam in on X-pac before he could get to Shane. Shane then gives X-pac a bronco buster. Commercial break #6.
Segment Time: 5:24

Ad for Wrestlemania 15. The ad is awful.

During the break, DX ran out and attacked the Stooges (Shane and Kane got away).

The Ministry is shown talking in the back.

They show PMS (Terri Runnels and Jacqueline) making D-lo buy tampons. Of course the cashier needs a price check on them as D-lo tries to cover his face. The cashier recognizes D-lo and he gets all embarrassed.
Val Venis's newest production is up next. Fun Fact: When Kevin Nash was in wCw, he said that one of the reasons that the WWF was beating them in the ratings was because of Val Venis. I love Venis's titantron, it's just awesome. Venis "You all have been wondering what has been going on with my video career" Cole "I have", creepy. The new video is called dating Ryan's Privates. Which just happens to have Ken Shamrock's sister in it, Ryan Shamrock. King is very excited about this.
Segment Time: 3:29

Val Venis vs Test
I wonder when Shamrock will come out. Val dominates early and hits a spinebuster which Test no sells. Shamrock runs out and hits Venis with a chair. The referee was distracted and Test picks up the win.
Match Time: 1:37
Grade: N/A

Post match Shamrock destroys Venis. Gunn runs in (Gunn is supposed to have a bad ankle but he never sells it) and saves Venis.Venis thought Billy Gunn hit him with the chair, so Venis attacks him. Commercial break #7.

Hardcore Tag Team Match: Road Dogg/Al Snow vs The Brood (Edge/Gangrel)
The Brood gave booth Snow and Dogg bloodbaths the past two weeks, nice little mini-feud. Snow and Dogg hide near the entrance and surprise attack The Brood. They go to the back as Snow Dogg (That would be a great name for them) is dominating. They are basically hitting one another with everything they find. They botch a spot where they were going to push Dogg (who was on a stretcher) into a bunch of pole but the stretcher fell before he got to the poles. Snow throws a bunch of spoons at Gangrel. They fight into the women's bathroom and Godfather's Hoes run out screaming. King "Sounded like Pat Patterson in there" Cole slips up and calls this a hardcore tag team title match. The finish comes when all four guys go up on a ladder like thing and Blue Meanie pushes the four guys off and they all fall through a table. Road Dogg lands on top of Gangrel and gets the three count. Blue Meanie also gave Al Snow his head back.
Match Time: 6:02
Grade C+, Fun match and they even had a reason for the match to happen. Nice conclusion of a mini-feud.

We cut to the Ministry of Darkness in the back for about 2 seconds. That was pointless.

Interview with Snow and Dogg and Snow proposes a Hardcore title match between them. Dogg accepts and the Ministry attacks both of them because their evil or something. Undertaker is shown sitting in his evil chair and says nothing of note. Commercial break #8

WWF Title I Quit Match: The Rock (c) vs HHH with Chyna
No more commercial breaks will be taken. The problem with having a big gimmick match on free tv, it feels like a normal match, when it should feel special. HHH takes over early and hits Rock with a baseball slide, thats not something you see from HHH these days. Rock tries to walk away which doesn't work. HHH throws Rock down the entrance ramp (The Rock literally rolled all the way from the top to the bottom of the ramp). They make their way over to the announce table and Rock takes Cole's headset, which allows HHH enough time to recover and punch the Rock right in the face. Nice. They fight to the crowd and The Rock hits HHH with a fan's sign and HHH actually sells getting hit by a piece of paper. Rock tried for a cover after hitting DDT, a Mark Henry like move going for pin in match that has no pinfalls. The Rock hits the most effective People's Elbow ever, he used a hammer instead of his elbow. HHH hits the pedigree and a camera man gets knocked over by The Rock. HHH delivers another Pedigree on the floor. HHH is going for one more on the table but the Corporation run out and threaten to hurt Chyna unless HHH says I quit. HHH quits and the Corporation leaves Chyna alone.
Match Time: 9:12
Grade C, The match was fun but this made The Rock look really weak. HHH dominated this and I don't get why Rock didn't get more offense in.

Post match Chyna turns on HHH by low blowing him because Vince Russo felt like having a swerve for no reason.

Grade C+, This was a good show and it was just plain fun. But the amount of matches that meant nothing hurt the show and the matches that should of meant something had no special feeling to them. This is the fun stuff that people remember from this era, but the product will take a nose dive very soon once the Ministry of Darkness gets rolling. This show also had no segments about the divas, none of them (Debra doesn't count) appeared on the show, today's diva division is light years ahead of 1999's diva division.