ECW Dallas: Round 1, Match 1: #1 Steve Austin vs. #64 Skinner

Steve Austin vs. Skinner

  • Stone Cold

  • Skinner


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Shocky

Kissin Babies and Huggin Fat Girlz
The following matchup is an ECW Region match, which takes place under Extreme Rules, from Dallas, TX.

#1. "Stone Cold" Steve Austin
steve_austin.jpg


vs.

#64
Skinner
2432929241_9f2ce09bec.jpg
 
Some may count out Skinner because obviously hes going up against freaking Stone Cold, but this is ECW rules, and Skinner is just a crazy bastard, who may actually cause Austin some trouble. Don't get me wrong, Austin is crazy to, and Austin will win, and that's who i'm voting for, but you should not count out Skinner in here as he is just a maniac. He'll get some offense in, with weapons, but inevitably Austin will crush him.

Sorry Skinner, but Stone Cold wins here.
 
Really no contest here. Austin always did the business when he was covered in blood in some sort of hardcore environment, and Skinner never really did the business in any environment.

Austin is one of the most important wrestlers ever, and Skinner is one of the most important wrestlers with a Florida Crocodile Hunter gimmick. Austin wins decisively and easily.
 
Heres whats going to happen.

Skinner is in the ring.
Glass Shatters.
BMF walk.
Austin gets on the mic.
Who the hell are you? WHAT? I'm Stone Cold. WHAT? Whats your name? WHAT? I said your name? WHAT?

Wham...Stunner.

Beer bash as Austin moves onto round 2 without breaking a sweat.
 
Yeah this isn't who wins but how many beers can Austin drink while Skinner is getting to his feet for his second stunner. Austin's music doesn't even turn off here as he dominates the whole thing. SKinner might land a punch and that's it. No contest at all.
 
My guess is this is over as Stone Cold runs over Skinner with a beer truck. Or bashes him over the head with a beer can about 20 times. We should open a vBookie on an over/under on how many Stunners Austin will use to win.

Austin will probably still be drinking in the ring when the Aries/Santo winner arrives.
 
Stone Cold's too much of a powerhouse for Skinner to overcome. The argument that Skinner would be able to put up a fight in an ECW ring is silly. Stone Cold can go in a no rules environment. WrestleMania 17 is one example. Give Stone Cold a chair and he'll smash you up good. Anywhere else, it's Stone Cold's match no matter what. So Skinner, you're going home early. Stone Cold to win round 1. If Skinner was to get any sort of offense in, the most would be a kick or a punch here and there but nothing much could be done to stop Stone Cold from stomping a mud hole in him.
 
My guess is this is over as Stone Cold runs over Skinner with a beer truck. Or bashes him over the head with a beer can about 20 times. We should open a vBookie on an over/under on how many Stunners Austin will use to win.

Austin will probably still be drinking in the ring when the Aries/Santo winner arrives.

Very true Austin will still be out there with a scattering of beer cans in the ring as the next match is getting ready to start. Whoever comes out first will get stunned for interrupting him, then when the next guy comes out he will give him a beer then stun his ass too.
 
This match could be shorter than Kane/Chavo at WM 24. Stone Cold gets into the ring, the bell sounds, gives Skinner the Stunner, and pins him for the win. Simple as that.
 
People seem to be forgetting one of the most important elements in this match. Tobacco spit. That's pretty much Skinner's finishing move. How can Steve Austin give him a Stunner, if he can't see?

Unless anybody can come up with an answer I'll be forced to vote for Skinner.

Edit: As an example I'll show you this image:

jurassic6.jpg


This is Dennis Nedry. Does anyone remember what happened to Dennis Nedry? The kayfabe answer is death. It's the exact same situation in this match.
 
People seem to be forgetting one of the most important elements in this match. Tobacco spit. That's pretty much Skinner's finishing move. How can Steve Austin give him a Stunner, if he can't see?

Unless anybody can come up with an answer I'll be forced to vote for Skinner.

Gladly! Here you go:

[youtube]i6uFDHqWfWw[/youtube]

In the shortest match at Wrestlemania 8, Skinner faced "The Rocket" Owen Hart. Owen backflipped into the ring, turned, and got a facefull of dipspit. Skinner then hit his finisher - the Alligator Neckbreaker - and rather than pin Owen, he picked him up and tossed him out of the ring.

Owen "skinned the cat" and rolled Skinner up for a pinfall in about a minute.

Owen is from Calgary. I don't think he's had dip spit into his face before.

Austin is from Texas. It's a weekly occurance there.

You know what'll happen? Austin will wipe it off, flip off Skinner, and fucking stunner him.

And then he'll go start training for a tough match with El Santo.
 
In the shortest match at Wrestlemania 8, Skinner faced "The Rocket" Owen Hart. Owen backflipped into the ring, turned, and got a facefull of dipspit. Skinner then hit his finisher - the Alligator Neckbreaker - and rather than pin Owen, he picked him up and tossed him out of the ring.

Well there you have it. He could have easily beat Owen Hart. But the sadistic beast decided he wanted to inflict more punishment on him. That'll be the same Owen Hart that Austin struggled to beat on numerous occasions. Skinner nearly did it in a couple of seconds.

Sure Skinner took Owen Hart lightly, but he lost and learnt his lesson, he won't do the same with Steve Austin.
 
Well there you have it. He could have easily beat Owen Hart. But the sadistic beast decided he wanted to inflict more punishment on him. That'll be the same Owen Hart that Austin struggled to beat on numerous occasions. Skinner nearly did it in a couple of seconds.

Sure Skinner took Owen Hart lightly, but he lost and learnt his lesson, he won't do the same with Steve Austin.

No it won't. This was the babyface Owen Hart, before his tag team with Koko B Ware in High Energy. Long before his break out match with Bret. It's not the same Owen that a pre-prime Austin had troubles with.

Skinner lacked killer instinct in this match, a plague of his entire career. He didn't learn from that heading INTO the Owen match, so he won't get it now.

And Skinner hit his two major moves on Owen in under a minute - dipspit to the face and Alligator Neacbreaker. And yet, 10 seconds later, Owen was able to skin the cat on the top rope and get a pinfall victory. That should just show you how weak Skinner's finishers were. Austin has kicked out of Rock Bottoms, Olympic Slams, and Pedigrees.

I can't believe Jake has me debating this match.
 
No it won't. This was the babyface Owen Hart, before his tag team with Koko B Ware in High Energy. Long before his break out match with Bret. It's not the same Owen that a pre-prime Austin had troubles with.

Of course it is. We both remember 1992 Irish. The Royal Rumble, the New Foundation, great match with the Orient Express. That match really showcased what Owen Hart could do. Just because he didn't get a solid push until 18 months later, doesn't mean he didn't have the required tools.

Skinner lacked killer instinct in this match, a plague of his entire career. He didn't learn from that heading INTO the Owen match, so he won't get it now.

Lacked killer instinct? Laughable. The guy KILLS Alligators for a living. If you can kill an Aligator, you can kill almost anything. Probably not a shark mind.

And Skinner hit his two major moves on Owen in under a minute - dipspit to the face and Alligator Neacbreaker. And yet, 10 seconds later, Owen was able to skin the cat on the top rope and get a pinfall victory.

Yeah, 10 seconds. How long does it take to pin somebody? Three seconds, 4 in a TNA ring, 5 if you're King Kong Bundy. If he'd gone for the pin straight away he would have won the match. Flash knockout or not, Owen was done for.

Actually he could have pinned him three times over in that 10 seconds. Booyah.

That should just show you how weak Skinner's finishers were. Austin has kicked out of Rock Bottoms, Olympic Slams, and Pedigrees.

How many of those finishers did he take in the first couple of seconds of a match?

Take a promo for example. Say The Rock hit's Austin with a Rock Bottom, how long does it take for Austin to stir? Over three seconds? Yeah, thought so.

I can't believe Jake has me debating this match.

I know. It's almost like you think I'm being serious. Next you'll reply to the El Santo/Austin Aries thread again.....
 
Lacked killer instinct? Laughable. The guy KILLS Alligators for a living. If you can kill an Aligator, you can kill almost anything. Probably not a shark mind.

Ok, so by that logic, Skinner can kill an alligator, but not a shark. No he can't kill Shark Boy. And Shark Boy became Stone Cold Shark Boy, so Skinner cannot kill Stone Cold, ergo he cannot beat Austin.

I win, not on the strength of my logic, but because I used the word "ergo" in a sentence.

Yeah, 10 seconds. How long does it take to pin somebody? Three seconds, 4 in a TNA ring, 5 if you're King Kong Bundy. If he'd gone for the pin straight away he would have won the match. Flash knockout or not, Owen was done for.

I maintain that Owen would have kicked out.

Actually he could have pinned him three times over in that 10 seconds. Booyah.

Ergo > Booyah.

I know. It's almost like you think I'm being serious. Next you'll reply to the El Santo/Austin Aries thread again.....

The internet IS serious, dammit. So excuse me while I head over to the Santo / Aries thread again.

Fact is my phone interviews today suck, so I need this to save me from the banality of the underqualified miscreants who wish to work at my company.
 
Ok, so by that logic, Skinner can kill an alligator, but not a shark. No he can't kill Shark Boy. And Shark Boy became Stone Cold Shark Boy, so Skinner cannot kill Stone Cold, ergo he cannot beat Austin.

Shark BOY. I was on about fully grown sharks. The Jaws type.

I win, not on the strength of my logic, but because I used the word "ergo" in a sentence.

You can't win against me. In the back of your mind, whenever I post you're never quite sure If I'm being serious.



I maintain that Owen would have kicked out.

You're wrong. But to be honest he had been out skinning aligators all day, so he was tired by then. He didn't put as much effort into that match as he could've. No way will he make the same mistake again.



Ergo > Booyah.

I don't actually know what Booyah means.



The internet IS serious, dammit. So excuse me while I head over to the Santo / Aries thread again.

That thread is full of Santo hyperbole and Austin Aries facts.

Fact is my phone interviews today suck, so I need this to save me from the banality of the underqualified miscreants who wish to work at my company.

Be thankful you don't work with me. I'd make your life hell. Purely to amuse myself.
 
Well Jake had me until he said the thing about Sharks, which IC masterfully turned into Stone Cold Shark Boy, and thus, I must vote for Steve Austin now. Honestly, Skinner sucks. He was part of the many reasons that I began to tune wrestling out. The lame gimmick and all of that nonsense, who really cares. The guy amounted to nothing, and is barely memorable at best. I've tried to make a case for almost everyone that someone could win somehow, but not in this situation. Stone Cold, in a mud stomping.
 
Under ECW rules Skinner would just take that big ass knife and cut SCSA. Stone Cold never really thrived in hardcore matches, and he certainly doesnt have anything to combat that knife. So Skinner wins.
 
Stone Cold would take the knife, use if to open a beer can, and then Stunner Skinner.
 
Austin in a snooze fest. Austin will finished a steveweiser before he gets to the ring, open up another in the ring, Skinner will try a sneak attack, Austin hits the Stunner, finishes his cold one and parties the night away with the ECW faithful.
 
Under ECW rules Skinner would just take that big ass knife and cut SCSA. Stone Cold never really thrived in hardcore matches, and he certainly doesnt have anything to combat that knife. So Skinner wins.

haha He wouldnt have chance, Austin will stunner him before he has a chance to cut him. Austin wins within 30 seconds of the match beginning
 
Gladly! Here you go:

[youtube]i6uFDHqWfWw[/youtube]

In the shortest match at Wrestlemania 8, Skinner faced "The Rocket" Owen Hart. Owen backflipped into the ring, turned, and got a facefull of dipspit. Skinner then hit his finisher - the Alligator Neckbreaker - and rather than pin Owen, he picked him up and tossed him out of the ring.

Owen "skinned the cat" and rolled Skinner up for a pinfall in about a minute.

Owen is from Calgary. I don't think he's had dip spit into his face before.

Austin is from Texas. It's a weekly occurance there.

You know what'll happen? Austin will wipe it off, flip off Skinner, and fucking stunner him.

And then he'll go start training for a tough match with El Santo.

Obviously you know nothing about Calgary IC. Calgary is cattle country. Owen Hart had been used to more foreign objects going into his eyes, from Urine to Blood to the occasional spit.

That being said, I believe Stone Cold was blinded in a match. You know what happens? The fans came to his help, similar to the blindfold match with Jake Roberts, and the fans direct him, and the fans will for Stone Cold. Stone cold will hit the ol Kick to the groin, and it is over.
 
Stunner...1...2....3!

That's pretty much how this match would go down. Stone Cold is arguably the second most influential superstar to professional wrestling. The guy had the whole package and most of all, he knew how to wrestle. Skinner doesn't stand a chance here and once again this is a virtual squash match.

Also, since this is in ECW, Stone Cold frequently got "hardcore" as he loved using steel chairs and other weapons to beat the holy shit out of his opponents. This is a warm up match for Steve Austin.
 
Fucking LOL. This match isn't even close. Stone Cold would win in about 3 seconds of entering the ring. Skinner doesn't really look that impressive, and while I cba to do research on him it's quite obvious that Austin would win this. Quite easily tbh.
 
Stone Cold drives a beer truck down squirts skinner with beer, hits him with a steel chair, picks up, stunner, 1 - 2 - 3. Over.

Stone Cold moves on.
 
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