At Money in the Bank, D. Brine won, uh, well, Money in the Bank. As if that weren't enough, he then announced he was going to cash in his briefcase in the main event (or opener or third match from the end) of WrestleMania. I think we can all agree that this means the WWE has decided to invest in Daniel Bryan, and invest big time. You wouldn't know it from the uncoordinated, confusing events that have followed, though.
To me, it just seems that whatever monkey that's chained to the typewriter doesn't really know how to sell him. They're selling orange juice as root beer. They're selling a massage parlour as a brothel. They're selling Booker T as a commentator.
Exhibit A:
The problem with this-- actually, wait, what was the problem with this? It suits Bryan's character down to the ground, doesn't it? Daniel Bryan's flamboyant. He's extravagant. He's theatrical. He's baroque, bombastic, brilliant, camp, chichi, colorful, dashing, dazzling, elaborate, exciting, flaming, flashy, florid, gassy, gaudy, glamorous, jazzy, luscious, luxuriant, ornate, ostentatious, peacockish, pretentious, resplendent, rich, rococo, showy, splashy, sporty, swank and, above all, swashbuckling.
Wait. Shit, I'm thinking of THE Brian Kendrick again. I have that brain disease where I confuse THE Brian Kendrick and Daniel Bryan. It's called THE Brian Kendrick Disease and it will eventually kill me. Only me and the WWE writers have it - it's really rare.
Exhibit B:
[youtube]F40wjqNiOR8[/youtube]
What, did they rip this off the fucking Onion news website? Well, obviously not. Maybe Bryan asked for a push and Vince, fumbling, just gave him whatever was at hand; you know, Brian Kendrick's jacket and a CD with the Night of Champions theme on it.
The reason you didn't like Ride of the Valkyries wasn't because it was a bad theme - it was because nobody popped for it. Nobody popped for it because of how Bryan was booked, not because it wasn't a brilliant and entirely unique theme. Also, they hacked off the awesome build at the start (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU) but I'm not about to get on the WWE's back for butchering Wagner; not after last time.
No real thought has gone into this new push. The entire idea is "Push Daniel Bryan." The next item on the list probably reads "???" and "Profit" after that. To paraphrase Coco the Monkey, they've given him a new jacket, a new theme and some TV time against arbitrary opponents - and when this "half-heartedly throw it at the wall and hopes it sticks" method inexplicably fails, they'll shrug and say, "Fuck it, we tried."
To me, it just seems that whatever monkey that's chained to the typewriter doesn't really know how to sell him. They're selling orange juice as root beer. They're selling a massage parlour as a brothel. They're selling Booker T as a commentator.
Exhibit A:

The problem with this-- actually, wait, what was the problem with this? It suits Bryan's character down to the ground, doesn't it? Daniel Bryan's flamboyant. He's extravagant. He's theatrical. He's baroque, bombastic, brilliant, camp, chichi, colorful, dashing, dazzling, elaborate, exciting, flaming, flashy, florid, gassy, gaudy, glamorous, jazzy, luscious, luxuriant, ornate, ostentatious, peacockish, pretentious, resplendent, rich, rococo, showy, splashy, sporty, swank and, above all, swashbuckling.
Wait. Shit, I'm thinking of THE Brian Kendrick again. I have that brain disease where I confuse THE Brian Kendrick and Daniel Bryan. It's called THE Brian Kendrick Disease and it will eventually kill me. Only me and the WWE writers have it - it's really rare.
Exhibit B:
[youtube]F40wjqNiOR8[/youtube]
What, did they rip this off the fucking Onion news website? Well, obviously not. Maybe Bryan asked for a push and Vince, fumbling, just gave him whatever was at hand; you know, Brian Kendrick's jacket and a CD with the Night of Champions theme on it.
The reason you didn't like Ride of the Valkyries wasn't because it was a bad theme - it was because nobody popped for it. Nobody popped for it because of how Bryan was booked, not because it wasn't a brilliant and entirely unique theme. Also, they hacked off the awesome build at the start (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V92OBNsQgxU) but I'm not about to get on the WWE's back for butchering Wagner; not after last time.
No real thought has gone into this new push. The entire idea is "Push Daniel Bryan." The next item on the list probably reads "???" and "Profit" after that. To paraphrase Coco the Monkey, they've given him a new jacket, a new theme and some TV time against arbitrary opponents - and when this "half-heartedly throw it at the wall and hopes it sticks" method inexplicably fails, they'll shrug and say, "Fuck it, we tried."