Do you feel the need to prove others wrong?

[Mitch Henessey]

Throughout our lives, I'm sure we've all had that one person or a group of people, who tell us we can't do something. Something along the lines of "you don't have what it takes," "you're not good enough," "you're not the type," or they'll simply come out and tell you can't pull it off without a real explanation behind it.

Depending on the situation and the person, I have different reactions to doubters. If I get the feeling it's someone, who's trying to antagonize me for the sake of antagonizing me, I just do my best to ignore said individual, and stay the course without any real problems. If you're already motivated, determined, and focused, then you should have more than enough to push forward with no real problems, while blocking out any stupidity.

But in certain cases, when you really feel someone's going the extra mile to get under your skin, and they truly believe you'll fail, or in certain cases they're rooting for you to fail, it's kind of hard to ignore them and look the other way. The extra motivation push helps, and maybe you're thinking about the one moment of satisfaction, when you can tell the other person they were wrong about you.

So my question to you is, do you feel the need to prove others wrong, when you're trying to achieve your goals or chase your dreams?

 

[Jack-Hammer]

Much of the time, I don't pay it any mind because I can usually tell when someone's saying or doing something for the sake of trying to get a rise out of me. The few times someone is genuine about something, I'll usually just state what I feel, my position on something or do my best at proving them wrong if I think it's worth the time. If I try to do something that I think is worth doing, something that I care about, and I ultimately come up short, I'm fine with it if I've done all I can to accomplish what I set out to do. All anyone can do is their best and if it's not enough, then it's just how it is. Sure, the doubter or doubters will have their little momentary thrill at being able to say "I told you so", but it won't bother me all that much, if any. If I have a goal in mind and try to accomplish it, I'm doing it because it's something I want rather than to just show somebody I can do it. I wouldn't be doing it so I could go nyah nyah in the faces of the doubters.

For instance, if someone wants to debate me on religious beliefs or for me to convince them that they're wrong and I'm right, I usually don't bother with it because 99% of the time, the person's mind is already made up and there's nothing anyone can do to change it. In those cases, it seems those people just want to argue for the sake of arguing because they get some sort of thrill for being able to get under people's skin. I think it's especially true when it comes to something so personal. Some people thrive on conflict and are more interested in the argument itself than whether or not anyone is proven right or wrong. I generally just state my opinion as well as I can, why I believe what I believe, why my position is what it is for whatever the topic of discussion is and leave it at that. If they agree, fine, if not, no real skin off my nose.

 

[Slash-LN]

Kind of split I guess.
I tend to use the negativity as motivation. It's not so much of the "I told you I could do it" though as much as it is the feeling I get achieving whatever it is I'm trying to do.

I do definitely advise people to use that sort of motivation.

 

[CyberPunk]

To me, it's kind of fun proving doubters wrong. There have been many instances when I've been told I can't do certain things. It just makes me work that much harder. I, however, look the other way when someone is simply trying to get under my skin. I'd rather let my actions speak than get riled up. Getting in an argument with someone who is only trying to rile you up is complete waste of time and energy.

I feel it's better to shut someone up through our actions and show what we're made of without really saying anything.

 

[Dagger Dias]

It depends on how well I know the person, and the extremity of the goal that they tell me I will never achieve. Sometimes proving the haters wrong can end up feeling like a bigger accomplishment than the goal itself. I find myself wanting to prove them wrong often if someone I genuinely dislike had hurtful things to say to me along the way while I was working toward the goal for an extended period of time. If it's a short term goal and the remarks were made by someone I couldn't care less about, then I do not feel the need to prove them wrong.

 

[Reflection]

Do what you have to do, give it your best shot... but it shouldn't be because of what some unimportant person said you cannot do, and to prove that person wrong. More often than not, they're not worth your time or effort. It's like those guys at the gym that will try to judge you based on the weight you lift. The people that actually love you will only encourage you, not tell you that you can't do it... and if they have doubts too, then it's worth trying to prove them wrong, but not before reconsidering your decision once.

 

[Rusty]

Yeah I love proving people wrong, I'm a goal-driven person and while I love when I actually achieve them, but it's even better when there are those who doubt your abilities, who don't think you have what it takes.

Hell as someone else stated, it's the negativity that makes you want to do it even more. Take the gym for example, there's no way I could lift what I lift without some of the negativity and general bad shit going on around me, whether it's in the past or present. Boss also doubted my abilities at work when he gave me a big project, turned out to be a massive success and I'm doing a better job than he ever could. It's the little things like that give you confidence in future goals you will have in mind.

People will try to bring you down no matter what you do, it's just jealousy and personality types that clash with what you are trying to do, no matter whether it really concerns them in the end or not. But with all that being said, if someone is just trolling you for the sake of trolling you, I usually don't care as much because those people, in their minds, will never be proven "wrong". They'll just target the next thing you try to accomplish.

Nothing angers people more than success though, it's a sign you're doing something they can only dream of doing.

 

[George Steele's Barber]

Some of these sound like bad promos. "You people doubted me and now I be world champion!"

There is no point in trying to prove people wrong. It accomplishes nothing. The better thing to do is try to understand why the person feels the way they do and then try to build concensus with the person to come around to your way of thinking or devise a plan so that everyone reaches their goals. For me the most effective way of turning around others beliefs is by asking questions. By asking questions you get others talking and make them feel in control. If you can gear the questions in your favor, you can get people to come to your conclusion or completely shut down and start questioning themselves.

Proving someone wrong just makes them mad and just because you believe you proved someone wrong, it doesn't mean they believe it.

But yes, it feels good to prove people wrong and I do it some times.

 

[Mustang Sally]

Sure, the doubter or doubters will have their little momentary thrill at being able to say "I told you so", but it won't bother me all that much, if any.

That's a good thing, because it must be realized that the "You can't do that!" hymn sung by many people is designed to serve them, not you. They can allow themselves to feel superior by making someone else feel inferior; that's been the way of bullies for time immemorial.

If you fail in the task they predicted you'd fail, they somehow feel better about themselves, as if your failure elevates their success at the same effort.....or even gives them an excuse to not try in the first place. ("Hell, if she can do it, anyone can!")

I don't feel the need to prove others wrong. I'd just rather do the task I was aiming at in the first place, and if I succeed or fail.......let 'em work it out for themselves. I needn't involve myself in their efforts to "rate" me.

 

[Trance Metaphor]

I personally don't need to prove anyone wrong, because I never had high expectations for myself to begin with. I've failed countless times, but even with all of my failures, there are so many things I can say that I've done that others haven't and can't do. I'm my own individual, not a duplicate of others. And as far as proving things to others? If I prove them wrong, then what? I'm only silencing them once over one thing and the feeling of being proud? That doesn't really last. Nobody cares. Then again, since I suffer from clinical depression, I'm just generally indifferent about a lot of things, including what other people think about me.

 

[Poop Master Flex]

I feel the need to get to the best answer but not to prove anyone wrong. Sometimes it doesn't seem that way as I can be VERY opinionated but at the same time if I'm wrong I'm wrong. A person isn't going to be right a 100% of the time (although some can get damn close to it) and its important to keep an open mind and not just assume you are right all the time.

If I'm debating/arguing with a person and I feel they are wrong I will say my piece, I will do my best to get my point across but I won't completely discredit theirs unless I know for sure they have no idea what they are talking about. You don't have to agree with someone but I find it best to listen and try to understand the other persons opinion even if you feel it is wrong.

5 years ago I was one of those who felt the need to always be right but over the last few years I've come to understand its not about always being right its about coming to the right or best answer, sometimes you have that answer but there will be times when someone else has that answer for you, you just have to be smart enough to listen when its presented.

 

[Aeon Mathix]

Everyone has doubters and always will. It's a fact of life and every person who has ever achieved something has been told that they can't do it. From Michael Jordan to John Cena.

Life is short and there's only so much time available to us before we are gone. We set goals for ourselves and not anyone else. At that finish line yeah the ones who said never may be standing there and saying congratulations or if we fail they say I told you so but so what? Those people come and go and you can never escape them. It is better to at least try and achieve something and fail rather than never trying at all simply because someone said you couldn't. If it's been done by someone before then you can do it, if it hasn't then be the first to do it. "No heart has ever suffered when it's gone in search of it's dreams" (from the book The Alchemist).

When you have something you want to do and you do everything in your power to attain it, it is amazing what you can accomplish by hard work and perserverence. It can be related to anything from graduating college to become World Heavyweight Champion in the WWE. I was told personally I would never make it the Army. Now I am a sergeant five years into my career. Where are those people who told me I couldn't now? From what I've been told have been kicked out of college or working at Mcdonalds. I believe in me and that's all that damn well matters.

"You are not what you were born but what you have within yourself to be."