Direct To Video Horror

[NSL]

How amazingly awful are these films? Some are so bad you have to keep watching, and laugh until you feel like you'll pee yourself. Others are just so bad, you need to turn them off at the risk of hanging yourself from a tree and blowing your chin through your ear.

One of the horribly funny ones was Jackhammer Massacre. I'm not sure what the story was, or even if there was one, but the "deaths" were so bad, they made spaghetti westerns look like Oscar winners. The script may have been the best part, simply because the killer was tripping off boatloads of something for 3/4 of the film.

One of the downright awful films was Black Dahlia. Not the Hollywood one starring Scarlett Johanssen, but the low budget shitty one with some hot blonde laughing like a deranged schoolgirl who just sucked off Edward Cullen. I can't even begin to explain how awful this movie is...And, I won't recommend it either.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Flight Of The Living Dead was by far one of the most god-awful pieces of shit I've ever seen in my life. It's pretty much a zombie version of Snakes On A Plane. It was sooooooo low budget and the acting by nearly everyone was bad.

I only watched this movie because I thought it might be funny. At least Snakes On A plane made me laugh, but this garbage didn't scare me, didn't make me laugh, and it wasn't entertaining at all.

 

[NSL]

Flight Of The Living Dead was by far one of the most god-awful pieces of shit I've ever seen in my life. It's pretty much a zombie version of Snakes On A Plane. It was sooooooo low budget and the acting by nearly everyone was bad.

I only watched this movie because I thought it might be funny. At least Snakes On A plane made me laugh, but this garbage didn't scare me, didn't make me laugh, and it wasn't entertaining at all.

I almost want to see this, because I didn't like anything about Snakes On A Plane. Zombies trying to take over an airplane just sounds campy, and that's always fun. The "parody"-style name doesn't really bode well, since that's usually reserved for porn flicks.

If I watch it, and feel like pulling my eyes out with sporks, I won't blame you, so don't let that sit on your conscience.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

I almost want to see this, because I didn't like anything about Snakes On A Plane. Zombies trying to take over an airplane just sounds campy, and that's always fun. The "parody"-style name doesn't really bode well, since that's usually reserved for porn flicks.

If I watch it, and feel like pulling my eyes out with sporks, I won't blame you, so don't let that sit on your conscience.

I'm warning you...watch at your own risk. This movie will most likely kill your desire to ever see another zombie flick again...trust me.

As far as Snakes On A Plane goes, it was such a train-wreck I couldn't help but laugh at some parts. You're going to tell me that the part where that couple was having a "good time" in the bathroom and a snake comes out of no where and bites them in places that you wouldn't want to be bitten by anything didn't make you crack a slight smile?

 

[The Doctor]

Dude, that's the POINT of Snakes on a Plane! It's called a stealth parody, a parody done to seem completely serious. Snakes on a Plane was done to be completely ridiculous. Why do you think they altered the script to include lines that originated on the internet? You were supposed to watch Sakes on a Plane expecting a Narm-filled, campy horror movie. A modern-day B-movie if you will.
I did. And it was a pile of fun.

 

[X]

A) Don't fucking hate on Snakes on a Plane. Seriously, if you don't understand the entire fucking point of that movie, you're a moron. It's a fucking B-movie through and through and has no qualms about it, it's a straight-up cheesy horror action movie and it knows it and doesn't try to be anything more. How the fuck could you possibly NOT enjoy that movie? Oh and it wasn't direct to video, because I saw it in theaters, and it was one of the best movie-going experiences of my lfie.

B) Not all direct-to-video horror is terrible. Infact several classic horror movies have come out direct to DVD over the last few years, especially from the French market. Films like Inside, Martyrs, and Frontiere(s) are easily some of the absolute best horror films made this entire decade. Just because something is released direct to DVD or video doesn't mean it's bad, and to think so is fucking stupid. For every shit B-moive that goes straight to DVD, I could show you a Martyrs or Trick R' Treat and show you why so many good films come out direct to DVD.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

B) Not all direct-to-video horror is terrible. Infact several classic horror movies have come out direct to DVD over the last few years, especially from the French market. Films like Inside, Martyrs, and Frontiere(s) are easily some of the absolute best horror films made this entire decade. Just because something is released direct to DVD or video doesn't mean it's bad, and to think so is fucking stupid. For every shit B-moive that goes straight to DVD, I could show you a Martyrs or Trick R' Treat and show you why so many good films come out direct to DVD.

You've got a point. Don't know if anyone has ever seen Midnight Movie. It's about a killer who comes out of the actual movie and stalks and kills a bunch of people in a theatre. It was low budget as hell, but the story was gold, and the acting was pretty alright also. Not all direct-to-video horror movies are shit, but a lot of them are.

 

[kerplin]

Don't know if anyone has ever seen Midnight Movie. It's about a killer who comes out of the actual movie and stalks and kills a bunch of people in a theatre. It was low budget as hell, but the story was gold, and the acting was pretty alright also. Not all direct-to-video horror movies are shit, but a lot of them are.

I loved Midnight Movie. Although most direct to video movies in and of themselves leave something to be desired, like entertainment. I saw one called "Mum and Dad" it was supposed to be a horror movie, and it would probably fit that description, because its actually disturbing that you can manage to sit through it without falling asleep.

Also S. Darko was horrible as well. Donnie Darko was amazing, so I decided to watch this thinking it might be ok. Of course not, it was Darko recycled into a female form with shitty acting.

 

[Cena's Little Helper]

Direct-to-video horror was once a great thing, as what you'd usually pick up was a great foreign horror film that didn't get theatrically distributed in the United States or a low-budget, independent gorefest that was way too extreme to release in theaters. However, there is now (relative to 15 or so years ago) a huge theatrical market for horror films. Therefore, more often than not, those films that go straight to video are horribly made and not even worth their weight in dirt. Of course, there are some exceptions; look to such companies as Magnolia and Dimension (the Dimension Extreme series) for the overwhelming majority of these exceptions.

 

[Mitch Henessey]

Also S. Darko was horrible as well. Donnie Darko was amazing, so I decided to watch this thinking it might be ok. Of course not, it was Darko recycled into a female form with shitty acting.

The original Donnie Darko was a classic. I have it on DVD. But then they go and make this terrible piece of shit S.Darko, and now everytime I think about Donnie Darko, I can't help but have this piece of garbage pop into my head. I wanted to pour boiling acid in my eyes after watching S.Darko.

They should've just left Donnie alone. No sequel needed to be made.

 

[DigitalNight]

Clive Barker's "Midnight Meat Train" was a pretty fun horror flick. It was actually even more 'tiny audience' than Direct-To DVD. It was Direct to Fear.net (on Comcast). Soon after the release they made the DVD a reality.

I enjoyed the movie a lot. It was a sigh of relief from that horrid.. unusually painful Jericho "Video Game" that came out a little while back.