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Destination X 2007
Date: March 11, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
We finish off Destination X with this. This is just after Abyss lost the world title because of Sting so we have a Russo Special: the Last Rites match. Its something like a casket match but of course they managed to make that overly complicated. The main event is Christian (heel now) defending the title against Joe. Angle is here now too and gets Scott Steiner tonight. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about the three aforementioned matches plus AJ vs. Rhyno and fear.
LAX vs. Team 3D
This is a ghetto brawl. LAX are tag champions (still NWA for the next two months or so) but this is non-title. Machete is here for a one off moment as he pushes Konnan in his wheelchair. Its Homicide/Hernandez though so at least you dont have to figure anything out. You can win by pin, submission or putting someone through a table. The show is dedicated to Ernie Ladd who died the previous night.
Johnny Rodz, the guy that trained Team 3D is here as LAX both beat him up recently. Big brawl to start us off of course as the fans want blood. Homicide gets a tornado DDT onto something on D-Von as he cleans house on his own. All LAX to start here as we hear about how Team 3D wants the NWA Titles. Hernandez hits a HUGE dive over the top as Ray uses a mannequin head. When youre stealing ideas from Al Snow, youre in trouble.
Homicide hits Ray in the head and Ray wants more of it. The second one knocks him back so maybe hes not that intelligent. Into the crowd we go with D-Von vs. Hernandez and Homicide vs. Bubba. D-Von uses a crutch on Hernandez and grabs some sunglasses from someone. The pairings get together after about two minutes and they switch off.
Hernandez is thrown into a wall. Tenay: He fought the wall and the wall won. Hes been holding that one in since the end of WCW hasnt he? The fans chant this is awesome and its been pretty solid so far. Back in the ring and D-Von gets a powerslam on Homicide for two. Hernandez throws D-Von around a bit until Bubba comes back in. The garbage cans are black here so they look a bit more realistic.
Ray pelts one at Hernandez who was on top so he can get a superplex. No cover though as Homicide gets a pretty decent top rope rana for two. Whats Up to Homicide and its time .for beers? Ah now its Table Time. A table gets set up but the Latino Nation, which is like 6 guys, runs in for a big beatdown.
Rodz comes in and of course can clean house despite being 67 or so here. LAX gets up and OLD MAN BEATDOWN BABY!!! D-Vons brothers come in and its a total ethnic war. Reverse neckbreaker and Doomsday Device both get two on either LAX guy. Border Toss doesnt work on D-Von as Hernandez walks into the 3D for two as Machete pulls the referee out. The gangs come back so BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL OF THEM!!!!!! WOW!!! Shelley comes down for no apparent reason and hits D-Von with his camera (huge pop/chant for that) and adds a frog splash through the table so Homicide can get the pin.
Rating: B. Fun brawl here which went everywhere and felt like a brawl instead of some stupid tag match. This went 15 minutes and it didnt get dull which is the key to it. Very fun brawl with the gangs actually being a nice addition. Not sure why this was the opener but it was certainly good.
After pitching the text message thing of the night, Rhyno says hes afraid for the Elevation X match, which is a scaffold match. Mistakes can happen apparently, which is why hes afraid. He doesnt even shout GORE.
James Storm/Jacqueline Moore vs. Petey Williams/Gail Kim
This is a double bullrope match because one guy is from Texas. Im thinking itll be guys hooked up and girls hooked up which is as un-PG as anything Ive heard of in awhile. Thankfully they use tape on the wrists instead of the weak knots. The heels (Double Js) jump the Canadians (I think Gail is Canadian at least) to start but get choked out quickly. This is one fall to a finish so no corners or anything like that.
Storm is tied up and slapped around a bit and we head to the floor. Petey and Gail are still in control as Storm winds up in a chair with wheels somehow. Gail manages to tie Jackie to the post and chops away. They talk about Jackies large chest and I shiver a bit. Ive seen most of it and I dont want to see the rest of it. Storm goes into the post as were waiting for the momentum to shift.
The referee gets tied up in the guys rope and theres your momentum shift. The fans chant Brokeback Cowboy which is kind of dated already. Petey gets tied up around the rope and is hogtied upside down. Storm tries for a pin like that but his feet are on the ropes. The girls are still around the ring post and its all Gail for the most part. Due to the laws of wrestling though, since Storm takes over Jackie does also.
Eye of the Storm (spinning release Razors Edge) gets two. Storm wants to try the Canadian Destroyer but gets countered with relative ease. Petey GOES OFF and whips Storm like a dog (as Tenay references David Crockett which a handful of you might get) and adds a Russian Leg Sweep. The girls continue to do nothing as Williams hits a DDT for two. All four in the ring now as Gail gets a belly to back. Down go the girls and a low blow to Petey sets up a superkick to end Williams.
Rating: C. Not bad here but two gimmick tag matches in a row to start the show is a bit much. Pretty decent little match here but at the same time, Jackie continues to be worthless and Gail was handicapped here. Storm vs. Williams isnt much of a feud to carry a match though and that brings it down here. The girls added nothing at all to this.
Steiner hits on the hot backstage chick and talks about Angle a bit. He implies he slept with Karen also. Wow what a ****e. Christian comes in and is all panicky. He needs Scotts help because Tomko is in Japan. Hes trying to get his own life! How selfish can he be??? Christian says Steiner is like his brother and Steiner turns him down because he has to worry about Angle tonight. The champ has an idea though and takes the chick with him.
Austin Starr vs. Senshi
Starr is from TV Land and is Austin Aries. Senshi is Low Ki/Kaval/whatever his name is this week. You have to win with the crossface chickenwing here for no apparent reason. This was during a WEIRD X Division angle with Bob Backlund running around like a psychopath. Starr jumps him to start and Ill be going back and forth with Starr and Aries. Apparently Backlund likes Senshi.
A couple of attempts at the hold get Senshi nowhere as we hear that Backlund isnt allowed to be referee here for some reason. All Senshi so far as he hits a Muta elbow since Muta is in attendance allegedly. This is just a weird match as its just one hold instead of a bunch of them like usual. Starr gets a northern lights suplex and floats over into a chickenwing attempt. I think he was trying for a pin and remembered the rules halfway through it.
TNA really needs to stop with the weird camera angles. It was almost turned sideways on a shot of Aries dropping an elbow. Starr goes up and here comes Backlund. Senshi goes Kobashi with chops as hes favoring his left shoulder. Here come the kicks as Senshi channels his inner Rockette. Shining Wizard misses but a shot to the back of the head doesnt as Starr is in trouble.
Starr goes after the knee for no apparent reason at all. Starr gets a Chickenwing on for only a few seconds before getting dropkicked down again. The problem here is its a regular match and the chickenwing is just there because of Backlund whose involvement isnt really explained that well. Brainbuster by Starr is reversed into a chickenwing attempt for both which gets nowhere. Senshis arm goes into the post but he makes the ropes to break the hold. Starr yells at Backlund and the hold goes on to give Senshi the win.
Rating: D. Match was just barely ok due to it being really weird. The whole ending submission idea was really out there and it held things way down. The psychology was way off also as they were doing very little arm work other than here and there and it made the whole thing not work for the most part. As a regular match this was fine but with the gimmick (third in a row to start things off) it got dragged way down.
Starr puts Backlund in the chickenwing post match.
AJ says Rhyno is out of his element tonight.
Christy Hemme comes out to introduce her mystery team to fight the Voodoo Kin Mafia (Outlaws) but they come out to interrupt her. Its a sexism feud that went nowhere other than getting Christy looking good on TV which is never a bad thing. After some really stupid lines heres the mystery team.
Heartbreakers vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia
Theyre the Heartthrobs, as in the jobbing tag team from WWE that no one remembers and no one cares about here. This is their only major appearance with the company. Oddly enough this team was so over in OVW that it was unreal. The fans chant GO AWAY as the Heartbreakers (Antonio Thomas and Romeo Roselli) do their entrance. BG vs. Thomas to start us off.
That doesnt go well for Thomas so both other guys come in. This is completely hated by the fans as no one cares and I dont think anyone knew who the Heartbreakers were. The match is completely unimportant as it gets down to Christy vs. Kip. Hes wearing a cup which winds up on her face and Lance Hoyt, a VKM associate who would later turn on them, takes her to the back, taking away any and all interest in this match.
The fans cheer for the chauvinist pigs, showing how stupid this really is. Roselli uses a chinlock on Kip as I want to find a hammer to ram into my head. Seriously, THIS is on a PPV in 2007. Someone thought this was a better idea than, oh I dont know, ANYTHING ELSE??? Not hot tag to BG and after a bit he gets a pumphandle slam to one of them to end this. And I thought there were levels of not caring I couldnt reach.
Rating: N. As in No. Just no. This was one of the worst ideas I can think of in years. The whole point was Kip vs. Christy which happened like 4 minutes into this and then the hot chick, the ONLY thing worth seeing in this, is taken out. Horrible, HORRIBLE idea and a weak match. Horrible.
Christian talks to Abyss who is in a cage. Hes trying to find help for the main event again. Christian gives Abyss an autographed picture. This is being written about 10 hours after Christian won the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time so this is almost a weird moment. Christian implies Joe has been talking about Abyss which ticks the masked dude off to the point that he offers a hand pound to Christian who couldnt be happier.
We recap Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin. This is for the X Title and the idea is old school vs. new school. Lynn was one of the first champions and now Sabin is the young cocky champ. You can figure the details out Im sure.
X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin
Since were doing a gimmick PPV it seems (you could REALLY stretch and argue that a mystery team is a gimmick) this is 2/3 falls. Lynn is 19 years older than Sabin. Thats insane when you think about it. They still have the old X Title design which would be replaced in like two months. Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting an extended advantage.
Lynn takes his down with basic offense and Sabin takes a break on the floor. Rana takes Sabin over and we hit the armbar. The fans and referee are looking at something going on in the audience so Id assume its a fight or something or other. Dropkick puts Lynn on the floor where he totally misses whatever he was trying off the apron, more or less having them hit hips which was odd.
The fans are STILL paying attention to whatever is in the crowd and are now cheering for it. They chant TNA but arent even looking at the ring. With the fans paying attention again they finally get going a bit as Lynn gets a tornado DDT out of the corner for the first fall. Lynn .dances a bit I guess and we hit the floor. Springboard cross body off the middle rope over the railing onto Sabin as old guys are flying around all over the place.
Back in and Lynn goes up but gets taken down via a crotch shot. Sunset flip gets two for Lynn as does a powerbomb into a DDT for Sabin. We get into a regular back and forth sequence for a bit here as Lynn gets a spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. Out of nowhere Sabin grabs a powerbomb out of the corner and puts his feet on the ropes to tie us up. Despite not being on a break we look at replays for about 15 seconds. Nice job guys.
Sabin sets for a springboard move but lands on his feet instead and drops a fist. I guess that was supposed to be cocky but it came off as botch looking. They trade pinfall attempts before Sabin gets Cradle Shock .for two. I would have thought that was the ending for a little bit there. Sabin continues to be a jerk and tries the Cradle Piledriver which is reversed into one for Lynn but both guys are down. Heres a guy in a Sting mask (pretty obviously Daniels as he doesnt have a hood or anything on) for a distraction and Cradle Shock ends Lynn.
Rating: C+. This had a few things holding it back, namely the whole crowd distraction thing which was kind of weird. They had a good match otherwise though as Lynn continues to be completely awesome even in his old age. Hes a great example of a guy that goes out there and just does his thing every night which works fine. Very smooth and it worked again. Not sure what the point of Daniels was but Im sure its about him going back to his roots or something like that.
The masked man reveals himself to be Daniels which isnt a shocking revelation or anything and it wasnt supposed to be. Tenay says we knew it was Daniels so this wasnt supposed to be a big surprise. Angels Wings to Sabin and a belt shot to Lynn as Daniels leaves them laying.
Cornette talks about how awesome TNA is and has an announcement on Thursday about Lockdown which I dont remember at all. Christy comes in with a riding crop and rants a bit. Cornette makes sex jokes after she leaves.
Elevation X is lowered.
We recap Styles vs. Rhyno which is in the newest concept match. AJ is heel here I think and is in this match because hes the X guy I guess. The package is about the structure and we dont hear anything about the feud.
Rhyno vs. AJ Styles
Its a scaffold match with a big X over the ring for the scaffold. There have only been two of them and Rhyno has been in both. Rhyno is scared of heights apparently. AJ puts some gloves on to help him climb. They fight on the floor before they even climb up on the structure. No idea if the match has started yet or not at this point. AJ gets the always awesome springboard forearm off the railing to take down Rhyno.
Ok apparently the match started when the brawl started. AJ goes up to some decent cheers and Rhyno is scared. They heel/face dynamic here is totally backwards. AJ stands on the X up there and looks down at Rhyno who keeps walking around. Rhyno literally takes a minute to climb what AJ did in 10 seconds.
And now we enter into the problem of scaffold matches: NO ONE CAN MOVE. Rhyno crawls around while AJ stands in the middle of the X which is really the only spot with any room. AJ casually walks over to Rhyno who is afraid to move. Styles spits on the beardless Rhyno and they slug it out in the middle. This becomes even dumber because every shot results in them having to get their balance.
Rhyno almost falls off and has his feet in the scaffolding under the platform top on the structure. AJ almost falls off as this is just stupid. He gets knocked off but hangs on just barely. Now hes almost under the structure and manages to get in a kick and literally crawls inside the structure to hide. Rhyno thinks hes won as AJ hides. This is like a scene in a bad action movie.
AJ moves around as we play that old game Hide the Phenomenal One. Rhyno figures it out and grabs AJ by the throat. They slug it out again on the top as minutes are passing with nothing happening. Styles tries a Clash from up there but gets taken down and hammered away on. AJ pulls out powder which is knocked into AJs eyes and Rhyno actually hits something resembling a spear. AJ hangs on by his fingers so Rhyno stomps them to win. If this didnt win worst match of the year I want to know what did.
Rating: N/A. This wasnt wrestling. Period.
AJ gets put in a neckbrace and stretchered out. Thats a good image for a hospital: a man in tights with white powder over his face fell off a giant X because a man that thinks hes a rhino stepped on his hands. Only in wrestling.
We recap Angle vs. Steiner. The idea here is Angle getting signed cost Steiner his big contract and Steiner is mad. Various insinuations about Karen were made also.
AJ is still being taken out.
Angle says hes awesome and ITS REAL!
We talk about AJ a bit more because the fans werent bored enough by the match itself.
Scott Steiner vs. Kurt Angle
Steiner has two random hot chicks with him. That rise out of the stage thing is still awesome every time he does it. Steiner has a cross hanging from his beard. Thats a new one. Angle grabs a headlock to start which gets him nowhere. Scott does the same and sends Angle to the floor. Back in Kurt gets a headbutt which is something to do with something Scott did on Impact apparently. They actually explain it which is a nice touch.
Time for the suplexes which were going to see quite a few of here. Clothesline puts Steiner on the floor as theyre stalling a good bit here. Steiner drops him on the steps to take over. I think Steiner is bleeding a bit. Yep he is. Tenay has been on his game tonight with this explaining us things. Off to the chinlock for some reason despite not really doing anything tiring so far.
Multiple suplexes occur from both guys. This isnt bad but theyre kind of stuck in about second gear and its hurting them a lot. Olympic Slam hits and theyre not even pretending that its a possible finisher anymore. Ankle lock goes on and you would think he was having a pastrami on rye based on how the announcers react. Steiner Recliner goes on to even less of a reaction.
Steiner sends him to the floor and into the railing but cant get a countout. Angle Slam by Steiner gets no cover as Scott goes for the Recliner instead. That gets broken and its off to another ankle lock. Scott grabs the rope which doesnt count for some reason so Scott has to kick him off. Up to the top as Steiner tries a belly to belly from there. Angle reverses into a sunset flip for the pin as Scott doesnt even kick his feet. Nice job dude.
Rating: C. Just a match really as there was almost no drama or even any close calls. The match they did was fine but it never got going. There was a story and back and forth work going on, but at the same time it was going way too slowly and was way too repetitive the entire time. Not bad but disappointing.
Joe says tonight he is free and will take his title. The word destiny is used. Shame he wouldnt win the title for over a year.
We recap Sting vs. Abyss. This was one of those stories that went WAY too far and made sense to a grand total of five people on the planet or so. There was something about Sting knowing Abyss did something (how he knew was never really explained) and he found out that Abyss shot his father three times (who would later be revealed to be James Mitchell) and apparently Sting says Abyss has to die to be born.
Sting vs. Abyss
This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what were getting instead.
Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Stings face and hes busted open.
Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. Theres a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.
The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesnt take much to sway their emotions.
Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what were talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesnt care what the fans think.
Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Stings blood was impressive but at the same time its nothing we havent seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.
We recap Joe vs. Christian as Christian is a heel but not 100% yet. He still has some face tendencies and he isnt a coward yet. Joe says destiny, Christian says its his time still. This is Joes first title match.
Christian complains about Tomko and Steiner leaving and Abyss being hurt so hes on his own. Great Muta wanders in for no apparent reason and Christian sucks up to him. He puts his foot in his mouth by implying Muta is done and the headgear comes off with mist going at the locker. Christian bails.
A text poll says Christian wins but its virtually a tie.
NWA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage
Full tribal entrance for Joe. Big match intros take up more time. Joe slowly kicks at the knee to start and Christian hits the floor. Dueling chants go off as they have a very basic start. Joe drills him with a shoulder as its slight advantage fat dude so far but not by much. Out to the floor and Joe is sent into the post to take over. Chair shot doesnt work and Joe slams Christian to the floor.
Out into the crowd as this seems a lot like the title match from the previous year. Joe slams him into a wall multiple times. Somehow that takes almost a minute to do. Back to ringside now but Christian gets a DDT on the apron to take over. Top rope clothesline/elbow gets two and Joe misses a backsplash. In an impressive move Joe is able to get a Musclebuster attempt from one knee. It didnt work but it looked cool in theory.
After Christian hammers on him for a bit, Joe gets a kick to a jumping Christian to take over. They slug it out for control so lets look at a replay instead of the action! Joe fights back and gets two a few times. Unprettier doesnt work and Joe gets a powerbomb for two. Off to a Boston Crab and then an STF as this has gotten a lot better in a hurry. Crossface goes on but Christian escapes.
The problem is that the counter puts him into the Clutch. Christian grabs the referee and the distraction lets Christian get the ropes. Somehow Christian gets an Unprettier for two. Off to a chinlock now as theyre both spent. Out to the floor and Christian is walking away. Various jobbers throw him back and Joe gets a modified tombstone for a VERY close two.
The champ pulls the referee in the way of a big boot and cracks Joe in the head with a chair for no count as the referee is out cold. Joe beats the tar out of him and the Musclebuster hits as the announcers lose their minds. Somehow THAT gets two and Christian hits a low blow to escape the Clutch despite the referee looking right at them. Clutch goes on again but Christian climbs the corner and puts his feet in the ropes to get the cheating pin.
Rating: B+. This would be a lot higher if the opening hadnt dragged so much. Joe had me thinking it was possible which was a good sign. Christian can put on good matches if given time and the seventeen minutes they had here were more than enough to do that. Very good match and definitely worthy of being a PPV main event. Now why cant TNA do this in todays product?
Overall Rating: D+. Thats probably a stretch but other than the main event there isnt really anything here worth going out of your way to see. The opener is good but its nothing of note really since it wasnt even for the titles. The main event is rather good but with stuff like Elevation X and Last Rites and the tag match the bad totally weighs this show down and ruins the good stuff they did otherwise. Angle would get into the world title scene soon enough and things would pick up a bit as the rest of the card fell into place.
Date: March 11, 2007
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 900
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West
We finish off Destination X with this. This is just after Abyss lost the world title because of Sting so we have a Russo Special: the Last Rites match. Its something like a casket match but of course they managed to make that overly complicated. The main event is Christian (heel now) defending the title against Joe. Angle is here now too and gets Scott Steiner tonight. Lets get to it.
The opening video is about the three aforementioned matches plus AJ vs. Rhyno and fear.
LAX vs. Team 3D
This is a ghetto brawl. LAX are tag champions (still NWA for the next two months or so) but this is non-title. Machete is here for a one off moment as he pushes Konnan in his wheelchair. Its Homicide/Hernandez though so at least you dont have to figure anything out. You can win by pin, submission or putting someone through a table. The show is dedicated to Ernie Ladd who died the previous night.
Johnny Rodz, the guy that trained Team 3D is here as LAX both beat him up recently. Big brawl to start us off of course as the fans want blood. Homicide gets a tornado DDT onto something on D-Von as he cleans house on his own. All LAX to start here as we hear about how Team 3D wants the NWA Titles. Hernandez hits a HUGE dive over the top as Ray uses a mannequin head. When youre stealing ideas from Al Snow, youre in trouble.
Homicide hits Ray in the head and Ray wants more of it. The second one knocks him back so maybe hes not that intelligent. Into the crowd we go with D-Von vs. Hernandez and Homicide vs. Bubba. D-Von uses a crutch on Hernandez and grabs some sunglasses from someone. The pairings get together after about two minutes and they switch off.
Hernandez is thrown into a wall. Tenay: He fought the wall and the wall won. Hes been holding that one in since the end of WCW hasnt he? The fans chant this is awesome and its been pretty solid so far. Back in the ring and D-Von gets a powerslam on Homicide for two. Hernandez throws D-Von around a bit until Bubba comes back in. The garbage cans are black here so they look a bit more realistic.
Ray pelts one at Hernandez who was on top so he can get a superplex. No cover though as Homicide gets a pretty decent top rope rana for two. Whats Up to Homicide and its time .for beers? Ah now its Table Time. A table gets set up but the Latino Nation, which is like 6 guys, runs in for a big beatdown.
Rodz comes in and of course can clean house despite being 67 or so here. LAX gets up and OLD MAN BEATDOWN BABY!!! D-Vons brothers come in and its a total ethnic war. Reverse neckbreaker and Doomsday Device both get two on either LAX guy. Border Toss doesnt work on D-Von as Hernandez walks into the 3D for two as Machete pulls the referee out. The gangs come back so BUBBA DIVES OFF THE TOP ONTO ALL OF THEM!!!!!! WOW!!! Shelley comes down for no apparent reason and hits D-Von with his camera (huge pop/chant for that) and adds a frog splash through the table so Homicide can get the pin.
Rating: B. Fun brawl here which went everywhere and felt like a brawl instead of some stupid tag match. This went 15 minutes and it didnt get dull which is the key to it. Very fun brawl with the gangs actually being a nice addition. Not sure why this was the opener but it was certainly good.
After pitching the text message thing of the night, Rhyno says hes afraid for the Elevation X match, which is a scaffold match. Mistakes can happen apparently, which is why hes afraid. He doesnt even shout GORE.
James Storm/Jacqueline Moore vs. Petey Williams/Gail Kim
This is a double bullrope match because one guy is from Texas. Im thinking itll be guys hooked up and girls hooked up which is as un-PG as anything Ive heard of in awhile. Thankfully they use tape on the wrists instead of the weak knots. The heels (Double Js) jump the Canadians (I think Gail is Canadian at least) to start but get choked out quickly. This is one fall to a finish so no corners or anything like that.
Storm is tied up and slapped around a bit and we head to the floor. Petey and Gail are still in control as Storm winds up in a chair with wheels somehow. Gail manages to tie Jackie to the post and chops away. They talk about Jackies large chest and I shiver a bit. Ive seen most of it and I dont want to see the rest of it. Storm goes into the post as were waiting for the momentum to shift.
The referee gets tied up in the guys rope and theres your momentum shift. The fans chant Brokeback Cowboy which is kind of dated already. Petey gets tied up around the rope and is hogtied upside down. Storm tries for a pin like that but his feet are on the ropes. The girls are still around the ring post and its all Gail for the most part. Due to the laws of wrestling though, since Storm takes over Jackie does also.
Eye of the Storm (spinning release Razors Edge) gets two. Storm wants to try the Canadian Destroyer but gets countered with relative ease. Petey GOES OFF and whips Storm like a dog (as Tenay references David Crockett which a handful of you might get) and adds a Russian Leg Sweep. The girls continue to do nothing as Williams hits a DDT for two. All four in the ring now as Gail gets a belly to back. Down go the girls and a low blow to Petey sets up a superkick to end Williams.
Rating: C. Not bad here but two gimmick tag matches in a row to start the show is a bit much. Pretty decent little match here but at the same time, Jackie continues to be worthless and Gail was handicapped here. Storm vs. Williams isnt much of a feud to carry a match though and that brings it down here. The girls added nothing at all to this.
Steiner hits on the hot backstage chick and talks about Angle a bit. He implies he slept with Karen also. Wow what a ****e. Christian comes in and is all panicky. He needs Scotts help because Tomko is in Japan. Hes trying to get his own life! How selfish can he be??? Christian says Steiner is like his brother and Steiner turns him down because he has to worry about Angle tonight. The champ has an idea though and takes the chick with him.
Austin Starr vs. Senshi
Starr is from TV Land and is Austin Aries. Senshi is Low Ki/Kaval/whatever his name is this week. You have to win with the crossface chickenwing here for no apparent reason. This was during a WEIRD X Division angle with Bob Backlund running around like a psychopath. Starr jumps him to start and Ill be going back and forth with Starr and Aries. Apparently Backlund likes Senshi.
A couple of attempts at the hold get Senshi nowhere as we hear that Backlund isnt allowed to be referee here for some reason. All Senshi so far as he hits a Muta elbow since Muta is in attendance allegedly. This is just a weird match as its just one hold instead of a bunch of them like usual. Starr gets a northern lights suplex and floats over into a chickenwing attempt. I think he was trying for a pin and remembered the rules halfway through it.
TNA really needs to stop with the weird camera angles. It was almost turned sideways on a shot of Aries dropping an elbow. Starr goes up and here comes Backlund. Senshi goes Kobashi with chops as hes favoring his left shoulder. Here come the kicks as Senshi channels his inner Rockette. Shining Wizard misses but a shot to the back of the head doesnt as Starr is in trouble.
Starr goes after the knee for no apparent reason at all. Starr gets a Chickenwing on for only a few seconds before getting dropkicked down again. The problem here is its a regular match and the chickenwing is just there because of Backlund whose involvement isnt really explained that well. Brainbuster by Starr is reversed into a chickenwing attempt for both which gets nowhere. Senshis arm goes into the post but he makes the ropes to break the hold. Starr yells at Backlund and the hold goes on to give Senshi the win.
Rating: D. Match was just barely ok due to it being really weird. The whole ending submission idea was really out there and it held things way down. The psychology was way off also as they were doing very little arm work other than here and there and it made the whole thing not work for the most part. As a regular match this was fine but with the gimmick (third in a row to start things off) it got dragged way down.
Starr puts Backlund in the chickenwing post match.
AJ says Rhyno is out of his element tonight.
Christy Hemme comes out to introduce her mystery team to fight the Voodoo Kin Mafia (Outlaws) but they come out to interrupt her. Its a sexism feud that went nowhere other than getting Christy looking good on TV which is never a bad thing. After some really stupid lines heres the mystery team.
Heartbreakers vs. Voodoo Kin Mafia
Theyre the Heartthrobs, as in the jobbing tag team from WWE that no one remembers and no one cares about here. This is their only major appearance with the company. Oddly enough this team was so over in OVW that it was unreal. The fans chant GO AWAY as the Heartbreakers (Antonio Thomas and Romeo Roselli) do their entrance. BG vs. Thomas to start us off.
That doesnt go well for Thomas so both other guys come in. This is completely hated by the fans as no one cares and I dont think anyone knew who the Heartbreakers were. The match is completely unimportant as it gets down to Christy vs. Kip. Hes wearing a cup which winds up on her face and Lance Hoyt, a VKM associate who would later turn on them, takes her to the back, taking away any and all interest in this match.
The fans cheer for the chauvinist pigs, showing how stupid this really is. Roselli uses a chinlock on Kip as I want to find a hammer to ram into my head. Seriously, THIS is on a PPV in 2007. Someone thought this was a better idea than, oh I dont know, ANYTHING ELSE??? Not hot tag to BG and after a bit he gets a pumphandle slam to one of them to end this. And I thought there were levels of not caring I couldnt reach.
Rating: N. As in No. Just no. This was one of the worst ideas I can think of in years. The whole point was Kip vs. Christy which happened like 4 minutes into this and then the hot chick, the ONLY thing worth seeing in this, is taken out. Horrible, HORRIBLE idea and a weak match. Horrible.
Christian talks to Abyss who is in a cage. Hes trying to find help for the main event again. Christian gives Abyss an autographed picture. This is being written about 10 hours after Christian won the World Heavyweight Championship for the first time so this is almost a weird moment. Christian implies Joe has been talking about Abyss which ticks the masked dude off to the point that he offers a hand pound to Christian who couldnt be happier.
We recap Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin. This is for the X Title and the idea is old school vs. new school. Lynn was one of the first champions and now Sabin is the young cocky champ. You can figure the details out Im sure.
X-Division Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Chris Sabin
Since were doing a gimmick PPV it seems (you could REALLY stretch and argue that a mystery team is a gimmick) this is 2/3 falls. Lynn is 19 years older than Sabin. Thats insane when you think about it. They still have the old X Title design which would be replaced in like two months. Feeling out process to start with neither guy getting an extended advantage.
Lynn takes his down with basic offense and Sabin takes a break on the floor. Rana takes Sabin over and we hit the armbar. The fans and referee are looking at something going on in the audience so Id assume its a fight or something or other. Dropkick puts Lynn on the floor where he totally misses whatever he was trying off the apron, more or less having them hit hips which was odd.
The fans are STILL paying attention to whatever is in the crowd and are now cheering for it. They chant TNA but arent even looking at the ring. With the fans paying attention again they finally get going a bit as Lynn gets a tornado DDT out of the corner for the first fall. Lynn .dances a bit I guess and we hit the floor. Springboard cross body off the middle rope over the railing onto Sabin as old guys are flying around all over the place.
Back in and Lynn goes up but gets taken down via a crotch shot. Sunset flip gets two for Lynn as does a powerbomb into a DDT for Sabin. We get into a regular back and forth sequence for a bit here as Lynn gets a spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. Out of nowhere Sabin grabs a powerbomb out of the corner and puts his feet on the ropes to tie us up. Despite not being on a break we look at replays for about 15 seconds. Nice job guys.
Sabin sets for a springboard move but lands on his feet instead and drops a fist. I guess that was supposed to be cocky but it came off as botch looking. They trade pinfall attempts before Sabin gets Cradle Shock .for two. I would have thought that was the ending for a little bit there. Sabin continues to be a jerk and tries the Cradle Piledriver which is reversed into one for Lynn but both guys are down. Heres a guy in a Sting mask (pretty obviously Daniels as he doesnt have a hood or anything on) for a distraction and Cradle Shock ends Lynn.
Rating: C+. This had a few things holding it back, namely the whole crowd distraction thing which was kind of weird. They had a good match otherwise though as Lynn continues to be completely awesome even in his old age. Hes a great example of a guy that goes out there and just does his thing every night which works fine. Very smooth and it worked again. Not sure what the point of Daniels was but Im sure its about him going back to his roots or something like that.
The masked man reveals himself to be Daniels which isnt a shocking revelation or anything and it wasnt supposed to be. Tenay says we knew it was Daniels so this wasnt supposed to be a big surprise. Angels Wings to Sabin and a belt shot to Lynn as Daniels leaves them laying.
Cornette talks about how awesome TNA is and has an announcement on Thursday about Lockdown which I dont remember at all. Christy comes in with a riding crop and rants a bit. Cornette makes sex jokes after she leaves.
Elevation X is lowered.
We recap Styles vs. Rhyno which is in the newest concept match. AJ is heel here I think and is in this match because hes the X guy I guess. The package is about the structure and we dont hear anything about the feud.
Rhyno vs. AJ Styles
Its a scaffold match with a big X over the ring for the scaffold. There have only been two of them and Rhyno has been in both. Rhyno is scared of heights apparently. AJ puts some gloves on to help him climb. They fight on the floor before they even climb up on the structure. No idea if the match has started yet or not at this point. AJ gets the always awesome springboard forearm off the railing to take down Rhyno.
Ok apparently the match started when the brawl started. AJ goes up to some decent cheers and Rhyno is scared. They heel/face dynamic here is totally backwards. AJ stands on the X up there and looks down at Rhyno who keeps walking around. Rhyno literally takes a minute to climb what AJ did in 10 seconds.
And now we enter into the problem of scaffold matches: NO ONE CAN MOVE. Rhyno crawls around while AJ stands in the middle of the X which is really the only spot with any room. AJ casually walks over to Rhyno who is afraid to move. Styles spits on the beardless Rhyno and they slug it out in the middle. This becomes even dumber because every shot results in them having to get their balance.
Rhyno almost falls off and has his feet in the scaffolding under the platform top on the structure. AJ almost falls off as this is just stupid. He gets knocked off but hangs on just barely. Now hes almost under the structure and manages to get in a kick and literally crawls inside the structure to hide. Rhyno thinks hes won as AJ hides. This is like a scene in a bad action movie.
AJ moves around as we play that old game Hide the Phenomenal One. Rhyno figures it out and grabs AJ by the throat. They slug it out again on the top as minutes are passing with nothing happening. Styles tries a Clash from up there but gets taken down and hammered away on. AJ pulls out powder which is knocked into AJs eyes and Rhyno actually hits something resembling a spear. AJ hangs on by his fingers so Rhyno stomps them to win. If this didnt win worst match of the year I want to know what did.
Rating: N/A. This wasnt wrestling. Period.
AJ gets put in a neckbrace and stretchered out. Thats a good image for a hospital: a man in tights with white powder over his face fell off a giant X because a man that thinks hes a rhino stepped on his hands. Only in wrestling.
We recap Angle vs. Steiner. The idea here is Angle getting signed cost Steiner his big contract and Steiner is mad. Various insinuations about Karen were made also.
AJ is still being taken out.
Angle says hes awesome and ITS REAL!
We talk about AJ a bit more because the fans werent bored enough by the match itself.
Scott Steiner vs. Kurt Angle
Steiner has two random hot chicks with him. That rise out of the stage thing is still awesome every time he does it. Steiner has a cross hanging from his beard. Thats a new one. Angle grabs a headlock to start which gets him nowhere. Scott does the same and sends Angle to the floor. Back in Kurt gets a headbutt which is something to do with something Scott did on Impact apparently. They actually explain it which is a nice touch.
Time for the suplexes which were going to see quite a few of here. Clothesline puts Steiner on the floor as theyre stalling a good bit here. Steiner drops him on the steps to take over. I think Steiner is bleeding a bit. Yep he is. Tenay has been on his game tonight with this explaining us things. Off to the chinlock for some reason despite not really doing anything tiring so far.
Multiple suplexes occur from both guys. This isnt bad but theyre kind of stuck in about second gear and its hurting them a lot. Olympic Slam hits and theyre not even pretending that its a possible finisher anymore. Ankle lock goes on and you would think he was having a pastrami on rye based on how the announcers react. Steiner Recliner goes on to even less of a reaction.
Steiner sends him to the floor and into the railing but cant get a countout. Angle Slam by Steiner gets no cover as Scott goes for the Recliner instead. That gets broken and its off to another ankle lock. Scott grabs the rope which doesnt count for some reason so Scott has to kick him off. Up to the top as Steiner tries a belly to belly from there. Angle reverses into a sunset flip for the pin as Scott doesnt even kick his feet. Nice job dude.
Rating: C. Just a match really as there was almost no drama or even any close calls. The match they did was fine but it never got going. There was a story and back and forth work going on, but at the same time it was going way too slowly and was way too repetitive the entire time. Not bad but disappointing.
Joe says tonight he is free and will take his title. The word destiny is used. Shame he wouldnt win the title for over a year.
We recap Sting vs. Abyss. This was one of those stories that went WAY too far and made sense to a grand total of five people on the planet or so. There was something about Sting knowing Abyss did something (how he knew was never really explained) and he found out that Abyss shot his father three times (who would later be revealed to be James Mitchell) and apparently Sting says Abyss has to die to be born.
Sting vs. Abyss
This is a Last Rites match which means a casket match but the casket is above the ring and you have to have it lowered and then pull them to the ceiling where somehow it signifies their death and ascension or something like that. And people wonder why Russo is made fun of. Keep in mind that Abyss was world champion about two months earlier after just having been an unstoppable monster. This is what were getting instead.
Still on the floor as this is just a big brawl so far. As always the splash on the railing misses and Abyss takes over with a chair shot to the back. Into the ring for the first time and there are candles on the corner. Plastic ones mind you but still dude, candles? Scorpion Death Drop puts Abyss down for no cover but he was down for all of a second. One of the candelabras goes into Stings face and hes busted open.
Abyss calls down the casket and the lights go all blue. LOUD fire Russo chant starts up as Sting is pouring blood. Half of the casket is shut and it becomes a regular casket match now. Theres a tombstone. The one made of rock, not the Piledriver. Scorpion goes on and Abyss taps which means nothing. Chair shot puts him down as Sting is bleeding a ton.
The fans chant boring as Sting puts the stone over Abyss head and breaks it with the bat. Sting gets out and Abyss shoves him into the corner with his hand around the throat. Abyss chokeslams Sting onto the casket, crushing it. The fans chant TNA, showing that it doesnt take much to sway their emotions.
Abyss sets up a pair of chairs back to back and puts a tombstone over the top of them. He puts Sting on top for a suplex through it but Sting grabs the candelabra and blasts Abyss in the head with it, knocking them through the tombstone. Sting puts Abyss in the casket to win it before collapsing onto it and having both of them raised into the air. This is what were talking about by matches and angles that no one but the booker gets and he doesnt care what the fans think.
Rating: F+. The FIRE RUSSO chants were right. There were candles, tombstones and a broken casket. On top of that they had only a weak match at best. Stings blood was impressive but at the same time its nothing we havent seen before. Weak match overall and rather stupid to say the least. This feud went on forever and seemingly never stopped.
We recap Joe vs. Christian as Christian is a heel but not 100% yet. He still has some face tendencies and he isnt a coward yet. Joe says destiny, Christian says its his time still. This is Joes first title match.
Christian complains about Tomko and Steiner leaving and Abyss being hurt so hes on his own. Great Muta wanders in for no apparent reason and Christian sucks up to him. He puts his foot in his mouth by implying Muta is done and the headgear comes off with mist going at the locker. Christian bails.
A text poll says Christian wins but its virtually a tie.
NWA World Title: Samoa Joe vs. Christian Cage
Full tribal entrance for Joe. Big match intros take up more time. Joe slowly kicks at the knee to start and Christian hits the floor. Dueling chants go off as they have a very basic start. Joe drills him with a shoulder as its slight advantage fat dude so far but not by much. Out to the floor and Joe is sent into the post to take over. Chair shot doesnt work and Joe slams Christian to the floor.
Out into the crowd as this seems a lot like the title match from the previous year. Joe slams him into a wall multiple times. Somehow that takes almost a minute to do. Back to ringside now but Christian gets a DDT on the apron to take over. Top rope clothesline/elbow gets two and Joe misses a backsplash. In an impressive move Joe is able to get a Musclebuster attempt from one knee. It didnt work but it looked cool in theory.
After Christian hammers on him for a bit, Joe gets a kick to a jumping Christian to take over. They slug it out for control so lets look at a replay instead of the action! Joe fights back and gets two a few times. Unprettier doesnt work and Joe gets a powerbomb for two. Off to a Boston Crab and then an STF as this has gotten a lot better in a hurry. Crossface goes on but Christian escapes.
The problem is that the counter puts him into the Clutch. Christian grabs the referee and the distraction lets Christian get the ropes. Somehow Christian gets an Unprettier for two. Off to a chinlock now as theyre both spent. Out to the floor and Christian is walking away. Various jobbers throw him back and Joe gets a modified tombstone for a VERY close two.
The champ pulls the referee in the way of a big boot and cracks Joe in the head with a chair for no count as the referee is out cold. Joe beats the tar out of him and the Musclebuster hits as the announcers lose their minds. Somehow THAT gets two and Christian hits a low blow to escape the Clutch despite the referee looking right at them. Clutch goes on again but Christian climbs the corner and puts his feet in the ropes to get the cheating pin.
Rating: B+. This would be a lot higher if the opening hadnt dragged so much. Joe had me thinking it was possible which was a good sign. Christian can put on good matches if given time and the seventeen minutes they had here were more than enough to do that. Very good match and definitely worthy of being a PPV main event. Now why cant TNA do this in todays product?
Overall Rating: D+. Thats probably a stretch but other than the main event there isnt really anything here worth going out of your way to see. The opener is good but its nothing of note really since it wasnt even for the titles. The main event is rather good but with stuff like Elevation X and Last Rites and the tag match the bad totally weighs this show down and ruins the good stuff they did otherwise. Angle would get into the world title scene soon enough and things would pick up a bit as the rest of the card fell into place.