enviousdominous
Behold my diction
This is a simple tale, about a simple man tasked to undertake a not so simple quest.
*Crocker and his faithful guide Buck explore a previously undiscovered chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza*
"I have a problem with telling time!" Crocker exclaims to Buck's amazement.
"Master Crocker, please. The secret of life was foretold by you to be in this Pyramid, your vision has led us to what may be the greatest discovery of this millenium and.." Buck began to say before noticing that Crocker is swatting at imaginary objects.
"THEY'RE BACK!! DAMN ZOM-BEES ARE BACK!" Crocker screamed.
"Master Crocker, we've been over this. There are no..." Buck began to say.
"ZOM-BEES! THEY'RE ZOMBIE BEES!! MY BACK HURTS!" Crocker screamed flailing about madly.
Crocker accidentally launches his own body into a wall that breaks when met by his mighty girth.
"Master! You've found the ancient tomb of Cena-Hotep!" Buck said.
"GREAT SCOTT!" Crocker exclaimed before asking "What is that?"
"It's what we've been searching for this entire time, your wife Demi Lovato will be very pleased" Buck said.
"Let's fly our spaceships upside down on the way home and..." Crocker began to say before waking up to John Cena's entrance music.
*Crocker shakes his head and sees himself in the front row during an episode of Monday Night Raw*
"Oh shit!" Crocker screams before checking his iWatch.
"iWatch, what is my prime directive?" Crocker asks his iWatch.
"iWatch doesn't give a flying fuck about you or your stupid prime directive" the iWatch answers.
*John Cena raises his US Title*
"Tonight, I'm not just gonna' give this opportunity to anyone in the back! I'm going to extend my United States Championship Open Challenge to anyone in the arena!" John said.
"YOU STUPID IWATCH!! I HATE YOU!!" Crocker screams before shutting his eyes tight and wildly throwing his iWatch.
"Ouch!" John said causing the entire crowd to go dead silent.
"I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU! I WANT TO SMASH YOU FOR BEING SO DAMN PREDICTABLE!" Crocker continued to scream.
"I think we have a challenger!" John said causing the crowd to erupt in cheers.
"Oh shit! What idiot just challenged Cena?" Crocker said before being yanked over the barrier by security.
"Let's give him a hand everyone!" John said causing the crowd to cheer wildly.
*Crocker limps into the ring with a confused look on his face*
"What's your name kid?" John asks before holding the mic toward Crocker.
"Crocker, Mr. Cena." Crocker said.
"Crocker what?" John asked.
"Crocker." Crocker said causing the crowd to go dead silent once more.
"Crocker Crocker?" John asked.
"Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker." Crocker said.
"Why... what?" John asked confused.
"My dad was big into communism, what the hell is going on here Mr. Cena?" Crocker asked.
*John whips off his shirt and throws it into the crowd*
"You are about to get the opportunity of a lifetime my friend!" John said.
*Crocker peels off his shirt and throws it as hard as he can, causing it to land two feet away from him in the ring*
"Please put that back on." John said.
*Crocker turns to where his shirt lays, and bends over causing his pants to split open in full view of John Cena*
"BY LUCIFER'S BEARD!" John screams turning away.
*Crocker immediately takes advantage and puts John Cena into a small roll up pin*
"COUNT REF!" Crocker screams.
"The match hasn't started yet you dumbass!" John shouts before kicking out of the pin.
*the bell rings three times*
"There we go!" John shouts before running at Crocker for a clothesline.
*Crocker is struck hard and does a backflip from the impact, landing on his stomach causing the ring to collapse under his weight*
"Was this planned?" John asks himself.
*Crocker lies on the mat gasping for air, and finds his discarded iWatch within arms length*
"Help me iWatch! HELP ME!" Crocker screams.
*Demi Lovato crashes through the roof of the arena in an upside down single-passenger spaceship*
"CROCKER!" Demi screams.
*Crocker looks up to see Demi Lovato's lips moving, and shakes his head to show that he can't understand her*
"Does she realize that we wouldn't be able to hear her anyone over the crowd?" John asked Crocker.
"Well, in my humble opinion she has problems with..." Crocker began to answer.
*Demi crashes the small spaceship next to John Cena, causing an explosion that knocks him out cold and launches Crocker on top of him*
"WE NEED A REFEREE!" Michale Cole screamed from his living room while watching the match in the reflection of his toilet water.
"MAGGLE!" John Bradshaw Layfield shouted from the living room.
"What is it dear?" Michael Cole asked.
"MAGGLE! YOU'RE MISSING PRETTY LITTLE LIARS! COME SNUGGLE!" John Bradshaw Layfield said.
"I'll be right there!" Michael Cole shouted back.
*Crocker and his faithful guide Buck explore a previously undiscovered chamber in the Great Pyramid of Giza*
"I have a problem with telling time!" Crocker exclaims to Buck's amazement.
"Master Crocker, please. The secret of life was foretold by you to be in this Pyramid, your vision has led us to what may be the greatest discovery of this millenium and.." Buck began to say before noticing that Crocker is swatting at imaginary objects.
"THEY'RE BACK!! DAMN ZOM-BEES ARE BACK!" Crocker screamed.
"Master Crocker, we've been over this. There are no..." Buck began to say.
"ZOM-BEES! THEY'RE ZOMBIE BEES!! MY BACK HURTS!" Crocker screamed flailing about madly.
Crocker accidentally launches his own body into a wall that breaks when met by his mighty girth.
"Master! You've found the ancient tomb of Cena-Hotep!" Buck said.
"GREAT SCOTT!" Crocker exclaimed before asking "What is that?"
"It's what we've been searching for this entire time, your wife Demi Lovato will be very pleased" Buck said.
"Let's fly our spaceships upside down on the way home and..." Crocker began to say before waking up to John Cena's entrance music.
*Crocker shakes his head and sees himself in the front row during an episode of Monday Night Raw*
"Oh shit!" Crocker screams before checking his iWatch.
"iWatch, what is my prime directive?" Crocker asks his iWatch.
"iWatch doesn't give a flying fuck about you or your stupid prime directive" the iWatch answers.
*John Cena raises his US Title*
"Tonight, I'm not just gonna' give this opportunity to anyone in the back! I'm going to extend my United States Championship Open Challenge to anyone in the arena!" John said.
"YOU STUPID IWATCH!! I HATE YOU!!" Crocker screams before shutting his eyes tight and wildly throwing his iWatch.
"Ouch!" John said causing the entire crowd to go dead silent.
"I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU! I WANT TO SMASH YOU FOR BEING SO DAMN PREDICTABLE!" Crocker continued to scream.
"I think we have a challenger!" John said causing the crowd to erupt in cheers.
"Oh shit! What idiot just challenged Cena?" Crocker said before being yanked over the barrier by security.
"Let's give him a hand everyone!" John said causing the crowd to cheer wildly.
*Crocker limps into the ring with a confused look on his face*
"What's your name kid?" John asks before holding the mic toward Crocker.
"Crocker, Mr. Cena." Crocker said.
"Crocker what?" John asked.
"Crocker." Crocker said causing the crowd to go dead silent once more.
"Crocker Crocker?" John asked.
"Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker Crocker." Crocker said.
"Why... what?" John asked confused.
"My dad was big into communism, what the hell is going on here Mr. Cena?" Crocker asked.
*John whips off his shirt and throws it into the crowd*
"You are about to get the opportunity of a lifetime my friend!" John said.
*Crocker peels off his shirt and throws it as hard as he can, causing it to land two feet away from him in the ring*
"Please put that back on." John said.
*Crocker turns to where his shirt lays, and bends over causing his pants to split open in full view of John Cena*
"BY LUCIFER'S BEARD!" John screams turning away.
*Crocker immediately takes advantage and puts John Cena into a small roll up pin*
"COUNT REF!" Crocker screams.
"The match hasn't started yet you dumbass!" John shouts before kicking out of the pin.
*the bell rings three times*
"There we go!" John shouts before running at Crocker for a clothesline.
*Crocker is struck hard and does a backflip from the impact, landing on his stomach causing the ring to collapse under his weight*
"Was this planned?" John asks himself.
*Crocker lies on the mat gasping for air, and finds his discarded iWatch within arms length*
"Help me iWatch! HELP ME!" Crocker screams.
*Demi Lovato crashes through the roof of the arena in an upside down single-passenger spaceship*
"CROCKER!" Demi screams.
*Crocker looks up to see Demi Lovato's lips moving, and shakes his head to show that he can't understand her*
"Does she realize that we wouldn't be able to hear her anyone over the crowd?" John asked Crocker.
"Well, in my humble opinion she has problems with..." Crocker began to answer.
*Demi crashes the small spaceship next to John Cena, causing an explosion that knocks him out cold and launches Crocker on top of him*
"WE NEED A REFEREE!" Michale Cole screamed from his living room while watching the match in the reflection of his toilet water.
"MAGGLE!" John Bradshaw Layfield shouted from the living room.
"What is it dear?" Michael Cole asked.
"MAGGLE! YOU'RE MISSING PRETTY LITTLE LIARS! COME SNUGGLE!" John Bradshaw Layfield said.
"I'll be right there!" Michael Cole shouted back.
