Close calls.

[Coco]

Okay. So a few minutes ago, I was sitting here in the school library, posting on WrestleZone. I'm minding my own business, red repping people who definately have it coming, when suddenly I'm interupting by the most serene, beautiful singing I've ever heard in my life. I'm on one of the quiet study floors in the library, so noises like singing are frowned upon and uncommon. Thus, they elicit one's attention rather quickly.

I'm sitting in a corner facing away from a set of doors that lead into a hallway that goes into the next building. The stairs that lead one from the lower level of this building to the floor I'm on are across the room and I'm facing away from them as well. Anyway, the singing started around those stairs from what I can tell. The voice was too far away from me to make out the words that she was singing, but the voice... I haven't heard anything like it in literally hours.

Anyway, her singing got louder as she got closer to me (Duh?). Just as she was about to go through the doors into the hallway that led to the next building, after which that sweet, serene belle would be lost to me forever, I got to hear somewhere between one half and one whole line of what she was singing very clearly.

"Bathing in the blood of Christ."

My life flashed before my eyes when I heard this. I was almost certain that I was about to become a victim of a mass murder in the name of religion.

Have you had any close calls recently?

 

[Coco]

More bad news. I forgot to bring my gloves today and had to keep one hand out of my pocket to hold my water bottle. Luckily, it doesn't need to be amputated.

At least my water is good and cold now.

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

What.

 

[Coco]

Que?

 

[It's...Baylariat!]

 

[The Doctor]

 

[gd]

I took a big crap the other day. For a second I thought that it was actually a baby and I was secretly pregant, but alas, it wasn't

 

[Coco]

I've seen TV shows where that totally would have been a baby. You're lucky it wasn't.

 

[Kanye South]

That could have been a potentially racist situation.

 

[gd]

I've seen TV shows where that totally would have been a baby. You're lucky it wasn't.

Or Steven Segal.

 

[J-Dogg]

I had a close call last night, i was talking to FalKon/Jickie Mames of WZ on the phone and a massive storm hit my place it was thundering and the lightning was severe, i was seeing lightning bolts flash nearby. And at about 9pm out of no where a lightning bolt strikes down and hits the ground a foot from my driveway, i was so freaked out FalKon says "You still there?. I have never seen a lightning bolt hit that close.

 

[Coco]

Is FalKon any funnier on the phone? Does all the time he takes putting thought into his posts cut his sense of humor off at the knees?

 

[The Doctor]

Hey, this is gonna be a shocker, but FalKon is hilarious in WZCW.

 

[TheOneBigWill]

I had a similar (in the sense of almost became a victim) experience about 8 yrs ago.

In 2000-01, I was getting things ready for closing at my job and had a guy come in and wonder around for about 20 minutes just staring at me. We never got busy, or anything near the sort toward the end of the night - so I was questioning why this guy was just kinda staring at me.

Well, about 10 minutes until close I went to him and said we were closing in about 10 minutes and wanted to know if I could help him find anything. He replied with "I'm new in town, and was just curious if you'd like to join me at my hotel room."

After I stood there.. puzzled.. scared.. and unsure exactly what to say.. I replied with "Nah, I have a lot of closing to do and a few friends are meeting me after I'm done."

He didn't say anything after that, then left.

I felt like I could've been the victim of a gay rape crime. I question now whether it was M_F or not. Then I think of the opportunity I passed up, because of how beautiful he is now.

 

[Coco]

"Now see, this how it all ends: Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don’t make no sense, and by the time your head realizes, “Hey, this weird guy don’t make no sense”, your guts are all over the window."

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

 

[Kanye South]

Well, I was making out with this girl in the cheerleader's locker room. It was my last day of middle school. And it was my lucky day, I had like 4 condoms in my pocket. We started making out, I started to undress her, and I slipped one on. I thought I was about to get some poon, but all of a sudden, her dad bursts in (i don't know how he got to the girls locker room), and threatens to kill me. I grab my shit and run, never saw her again.

 

[Coco]

Would have been a better story if her vagina turned out to be a shark.

 

[Kanye South]

Yeah, Janet doesn't like for me to talk about that.

 

[ABMorales787]

Like my first date. I told a beer can and instead of drinking it, I shaked it and tossed it away. It reached the not so far away road and nailed a car. I was with my girlfriend in a little vacant lot and it was full of tall grass, so we hid there, we get all horror movie romantic, when the dude shows up looking around with a led pipe in hand. I zip my pants and tell her to crawl quietly and get out. I on the other hand, was stupid and tried to confront him. In the end, I tripped him and ran, went back to a party we snuck away from and I had a mayor case of cockblock. It still plagues me to this day...