CHIKARA: Eye to Eye with KB

klunderbunker

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CHIKARA: Eye to Eye
Date: September 18, 2010
Location: Du Burns Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 150
Commentators: Ultramantis Black, Colin Delaney, Bryce Remsberg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Gavin Loudspeaker

So…CHIKARA (last time spelled in all caps). It’s one of the indy companies around along with ROH, Dragon Gate USA and PWG (yes there’s a review coming of that but it’ll be a few weeks. Also yes I know I left out CZW but I’m not reviewing hardcore shit even if there’s actual wrestling on there elsewhere).

From what I understand, Chikara is more or less a wrestling comic book come to life with insane gimmicks, over the top angles, and wrestling mixed in there. I keep a slight eye (see what I did there?) on the main angles in it on occasion but I’m brand new to the product itself and therefore can’t tell you a damn thing about what I’m about to watch. All I know is Chikara is at war with something called Bruderschaft des Kreuzes which is German for Brotherhood of the Cross and is commonly known as BDK. Other than that I’ve got nothing. Let’s get to it.

After no opening video, no graphic saying what the hell I’m watching or anything like that it’s time to start.

Equinox vs. Delirious

Delirious recently joined BDK and is therefore heel…I think. I’ve seen some of his stuff but I know nothing about Equinox. Our first shot of the arena shows a ton of empty seats and it’s pretty clear they’re in a gym. I get that they’re trying and aren’t very well known but you couldn’t turn down the lights a bit? Apparently there are two people that have played Equinox or people with that name.

BDK has their own ring announcer whose arm is in a sling and is in a neck brace. Delirious is brought out on a least by some member of BDK (remember that I know about two people on this roster so bear with me). This Equinox is apparently named Jimmy Olsen who teamed with Colin Delaney. That name rings a bell for some reason.

Equinox has half blue and half red tights and a matching mask. I dig that. Oh I almost forgot: a LOT of people in Chikara wear masks, like the majority of them do. The fans chant for Equinox. After a brief staredown Delirious dives for him and we hit the mat. Delirious is sent to the floor and the fans seem to start laughing at him. He has a cool beard if nothing else. Back in and Delirious takes over with some basic stuff.

Apparently the guy on the floor is named Ares and is the mastermind of BDK. The way I understand it is that you have BDK, heels and faces (called technicos and rudos here because that’s what they do in Mexico so we need to do it here), as in three distinct groups but no one likes BDK. Equinox fights back with some nice stuff and we hit the floor again. It’s weird hearing a masked guy called Jimmy. He chops the hell out of Delirious so Delirious hides at the feet of Ares.

Back in as the announcers talk about the different phases of Delirious. Running knee strike in the corner as we reference Michael Cole. Rather decent back and forth match here. Some more fans are arriving so maybe the stands will fill out a bit. Jawbreaker by Delirious but stops to yell at the fans for awhile. Claw Hold to Equinox for a bit. We get into the debate of manager’s license which is one of those wrestling rules that changes every week. It’s one of those things that makes wrestling what it is and I love it.

Ton of near falls by Equinox off a bunch of quick shots and holds including a rana. We have a Cibernetico match later which is a Chikara match that I’ve always wanted to see. Ok so more like I’ve heard it and don’t know what it is other than a vague set of rules. Also in Chikara there are seasons which is a cool idea. Delirious goes up and hits a Downward Spiral while Equinox is on his knees.

The crowd is getting into this a bit which is always a good thing. Cobra clutch by Delirious which is a modified version of one of Delirious’ finishers I believe. Brainbuster gets two for Equinox. He sets for some kind of bomb but Ares gets up. He fails in attempt at being evil and Equinox gets a rollup for two. And then a second later Delirious gets a Fisherman’s Suplex which he spins around a bit into a Piledriver to end it.

Rating: B-. Pretty nice fast paced match which was a fine choice for an opener. The fans’ reacting to it is the best thing that you can get. Also considering that this is my first Chikara match I thought it was pretty good. The fans were into it and it was pretty good so yeah this worked as an opener. Good stuff.

A team of what sound like Southern Baptist black guys (only way to put it at all. Think Pope but with less charisma and as faces) called Da Soul Touchaz say that the fun and games are over and tonight they’re going to take care of FIST. I kind of like these guys.

FIST vs. Da Soul Touchaz

Fist is comprised of Icarus/Johnny Gargano/Chuck Taylor. FIST apparently stands for Friends in Similar Tights. I kind of like that. Da Soul Touchaz are Acid Jazz/Marshe Rockett/Willie Richardson. I have no idea who any of these people are. Oh and the Soul guys have a fat mouthpiece manager. The Soul Team (not trying to spell that every time) does an intro cheer kind of thing.

Gargano, who is apparently new to the team having replaced someone named Gran Akuna who the fans chanted for during their entrance, and Acid Jazz start us off. Johnny keeps turning his back and gets his ass slapped. He does that to everyone and now we’re finally ready to get going. This is a Trios match which is a big deal in Chikara. We get some arm work from both guys to start which is as good as anything to start with.

They slug it out with Gargano winning at first until Acid just goes off on him. This is under Lucha tag rules, meaning that if someone goes to the floor another member of their team can come in. Off to Taylor after Gargano hits the floor. Taylor is from Kentucky apparently so I like him already. Ok so he’s the tall one. Got it and also in is Rockette, who has his name on his tights. Chuck is billed from Raccoon City or Murray, Kentucky. I know of both and the zombie filled hellhole is the better place to be.

These two speed it up and Rockette hits a SWEET dropkick. All of FIST is on the floor now to regroup. I’m sorry for all the play by play here as I know nothing as far as characters or backstory so I’m trying to fill in space. Off to Big Willie and Icarus. Icarus sizes him up (Willie is just smaller than Mark Henry) and then hits the floor. Headlock by Willie and there’s some coordinated crowd chant.

The announcers are calling every move Willie does the Urban version of it. Off to Rockette again who is the highlight of this match so far. That man can jump! Gargano vs. Willie now as they’re tagging in very fast. Some double teaming by the Soul guys results in a Sky High from Willie from the middle rope for two. Taylor FINALLY interferes to save his teammate and the heels take over.

Gargano gets a NICE kick to put Jazz in trouble as it’s Ricky Morton time. Camel clutch by Taylor and now back off to Gargano. This lack of tagging thing takes a long time to get used to as they keep coming in and out but aren’t cheating by doing so. Simple but effective double teaming by FIST but Jazz gets a double DDT to Icarus and Taylor.

Hot tag to Willie who fights off all three guys on his own with relative ease it seems. The Soul guys get a nice triple team sequence where corner splashes set up Pounces by Willie. Icarus tries to hide on the apron so Willie suplexes him back in. And in one of the oldest booking methods in the book, Taylor hooks his foot so Willie falls with Icarus on top of him for the pin. Not a fan of that, at least not after about 1993.

Rating: B-. Simple yet effective. That’s how I would describe a lot of what this company does so far and something tells me that’s what I’ll be saying later on. I liked this Rockette guy though. He moved rather well out there and was quite athletic. The stable he’s in is pretty simple but it works. FIST I’ve heard of before but they were somewhat boring. Anyway, fun match, but we need to get to some meat on this show.

Brodie Lee vs. Helios

I’ve heard of Lee before and have seen some of his matches. He’s a big man and somewhat athletic but nothing incredible. Helios is another guy from Kentucky who also wrestles under the name Ricochet who I’ve heard good things about. Power vs. speed is the best combination for a match so this should be interesting. Lee is called Big Rig, meaning a truck driver character. Why mess with stuff that works I guess?

Helios backflips about halfway down the aisle. He’s from the future apparemtly. In the future we’ll be well built masked men that do backflips? This is more or less exactly what you would expect it to be: Helios starts out using speed stuff to frustrate Lee but the basic power is enough to stop that and give Brodie control. The beatdown commences and it’s about as formulamatic as you could ask for. Overhead pumphandle release slam gets two.

A corner splash misses though and Helios goes up top. Lee tries to pull an Angle and run up the corner but gets knocked back. Helios lands a pair of knees to the chest off the top to a standing Brodie to take over. Lots of ranas and leverage moves set up what appeared to be a springboard DDT but Brodie catches him in a spinning Boss Man Slam for two. Super powerbomb is blocked and Helios hits the apron. A springboard move with Lee across the ring is countered by a big boot for the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t anything great at all and is the epitome of average. The small guy used speed and the bigger guy used power and it was a basic match from there on. Not a great match or anything and I was kind of surprised as to how basic it was. It’s not bad but it was really just a match.

Osirian Portal vs. UnStable vs. Obariyon/Kodama vs. Incoherence

Elimination rules here. I’ll do the best I can to have a damn clue as to what’s going on here but please bear with me. Thankfully Chikara gives us a graphic with the names pre-match so I don’t have to rely on my hearing here as the sound isn’t great. The guys that I think are the Osirian Portal say they can get three points tonight. Oh yeah I forgot: to get a tag title shot here you have to win three points, as in winning three matches. Here you can win that in one night.

The Portal is made up of Amasis and Ophidian. I think Ophidian is the one with the bigger mask. As much as I hate to type this, Amasis is a break dancing Pharaoh. Damn ANOTHER one of those? Ophidian is a human snake or something. The UnStable are STIGMA (no more caps) and Vin Gerard. Stigma is in the mask I’d assume. Obariyon/Kodama have green faces. They scare everyone else out of the ring until Incoherence (Frightmare and Hallowicked) get here.

No clue on who is face and who is heel here. Incoherence appears to be face. Ok Frightmare is the shorter one. He has the Young Lion’s Cup which is kind of almost sort of the singles title but not really. They don’t have one for the most part which is kind of hard to explain. No one wants to start as they’re afraid of the green faced dudes. The Osirian guys do a comedy bit to get the other to start.

Amasis and Obariyon start us off. Apparently you only get one point per elimination so three points isn’t guaranteed. Only the winning team will wind up with points. The BDK, the tag champions, like to throw out some of their better guys to keep the champions from ever being at risk so they rarely have to defend the titles. The Egyptians dance a bit before dropping some elbows.

Off to Frightmare as again if you hit the floor someone else can come in. He screams at people and they run in fear. It doesn’t work on Stigma so it’s off to Hallowicked who can’t scare him either. Instead Hallowicked kicks him in the face. Again, why mess with something that works? They’re a bit sloppy but a nice rana takes Stigma down.

Frightmare back in and the UnStable beats the hell out of him. Off to Gerard who is moving out there. Stigma sets for a tombstone but Frightmare gets out of it. A standing moonsault is avoided but a second hits (kind of) to pin Stigma and we’re down to three teams. The green faced dudes bring in Amasis to beat the living tar out of him. Gordbuster by Kodama gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Obariyon comes in and gets an Octopus hold on Amasis. I love that move. A top rope DDT misses and break dancing brings in Ophidian. The green dudes keep changing spots. Ophidian dives out to take out a green dude and it’s back to Amasis and Komada. Somehow a monster like this go goes down to a spinning forearm and we’re down to two teams.

A ton of kicks go off in rapid succession so everyone is down. They do a circle of chops until Incoherence accidently starts hitting each other. Ophidian gets two off a backslide that was started when the other guy was laying on his stomach. That was kind of awesome. The Portal hammers away with strikes and an STO gets two. It was actually three but that wasn’t the ending so we’ll just go with it.

Ophidian vs. Hallowicked now as the whole notion of tagging or two people in the ring at once has gone out the window, over the hills and through the woods and then out of the window of grandmother’s house. A modified GTS ending in a kick instead of a knee by Hallowicked. Frightmare gets on the shoulders of Hallowicked for a super Diamond Cutter but Ophidian hangs onto the top rope.

Sunset flip gets two (it was three again. Damn it make your fucking saves!) on Frightmare. Things speed up again and we get some odd double teaming spots including Hallowicked accidently DDTing Frightmare. More double teaming follows as this is a big mess. Ophidian finally gets a victory roll of Hallowicked to end this and give the Portal two points.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but it was a total mess by the end. Stigma and Gerard were more or less worthless. The ending was completely different than the rest of the match but it worked better as well. Also the comedy stuff got kind of annoying. Half of the time the Egyptians were terrified and half the time they were awesome. Kind of odd. Fun though.

Eddie Kingston says Sanchez is a joke.

Eddie Kingston vs. Pinkie Sanchez

Sanchez is part of BDK. Wow good thing this match is happening or that promo would have been really weird. I wonder if Eddie Kingston is related to Eddie Guerrero. The resemblance in their names is striking. Kingston goes straight at him as the bell rings. This is the first match after the intermission. Kingston hates the BDK and is fighting them in a one man war.

Pinkie is a very small person and is getting destroyed so far. He gets a shot to the knee but Kingston beats on him from one knee. That’s rather impressive. Springboard dropkick to the knee takes Kingston down in a nice move. Kingston gets up and slaps the mouthpiece out of Pinkie’s mouth. You know as opposed to the one in his ear. Sanchez goes back to the knee and Eddie is in trouble.

Kingston comes back with a big lariat for two. Sanchez gets a leg lariat for the same amount and then goes up. Eddie kicks him in the head while he’s on the top and gets a Cutter off the top. All Eddie here and a running forearm to a seated Pinkie has him more or less dead. Spinning backfist ends this with ease.

Rating: C. More or less a glorified squash here as Pinkie got in offense but was never even close to being a threat here. Kingston looked like a train here which is a good thing. Nothing special here and really just an extended squash. I think that was the point though as Sanchez is tiny and likely not much of a threat.

The ring announcer says it’s someone birthday and we cut away before seeing them. Their name is Chris McGuinness and I don’t care enough to look him up.

Jigsaw/Mike Quackenbush vs. Lince Dorado/Tim Donst

Dorado/Donst are BDK. Quackenbush is the legit owner of the company and more or less divine in the eyes of the fans. Jigsaw is a guy I’ve heard a lot about but never actually seen. Dorado is in the mask. Got it. Quackenbush and Jigsaw hit the ring and the fight is on almost immediately. Apparently the Cibernetico match isn’t tonight. Damn I wanted to see that.

Quackenbush goes insane to start us off and cleans house. Off to the masked guys now and they chop the hell out of each other. Gory Stretch by Jigsaw but Donst makes the save. There’s a Japanese female legend here which is a big deal. They more or less say the girl she’s fighting has no chance. Great way to make us want to see the match guys. Off to Quackenbush who gets beaten down as well.

Surfboard by Dorado as Mike has a bad back. Everything goes insane for a bit with massive fourway brawling until a modified Michinoku Driver gets two on Jigsaw. The referee has zero issue with both guys covering Jigsaw. More insanity follows with the BDK being sent to the floor. Jigsaw and Mike bust out stereo Tope Con Hilos to get a Chikara chant going.

Jigsaw and Donst in the ring now with Mike adding a springboard Swanton for two. BDK has more or less double teamed the entire time. Everything goes nuts again and we have Mike vs. Dorado in the ring by themselves. Jigsaw drills Donst on the floor and something apparently called a Quackendriver (kind of a modified gutwrench suplex into a slam/driver) ends it.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t my style at all. It was completely insane with no real semblance of a tag match at all. I’m not a fan of these wild tags like these as they’re pure spot fests. Those can be fun, but at the same time when that’s what the majority of the show has been, it kind of loses its effectiveness. Jigsaw/Quackenbush would win the tag titles before the year was out.

Daizee Haze vs. Manami Toyota

Ok so Toyota is apparently one of the greatest wrestlers ever and the greatest women’s wrestler of all time. I’ve heard all kinds of good things about her online, meaning I’m likely goint to find her overrated. Haze, say it with me, is part of BDK and is a heel here by default. This is her first ever match in America and due to her being Japanese, every fan in the audience knows her.

There are all the streamers which we now have to waste time cleaning up. They shake hands and we’re on. The announcers orgasm as soon as the match starts and Haze gets destroyed. Long chinlock with Toyota playing to the crowd a lot. Did you know she did more for wrestling than any other woman? You know, including Wendi Richter who was the catalyst for a thing called WRESTLEMANIA? Yeah that meant nothing. THIS IS JAPANESE so it’s automatically better!

Bridging Indian Deathlock into a chinlock as well. Everyone oohs and ahhs but I was doing that 13 years ago when Benoit used it as a regular move. I’ve seen these moves before, and yes I’m aware they probably took them from her. She lets Daizee get free shots as the announcers continue to worship Toyota. After some leg work there’s a figure four and Daizee is in trouble.

Haze reverses it for a bit but it gets rolled into the ropes. She manages to get some offense in so that this stops being a squash. Ah never mind as the power of Japan compels Haze and it’s back to Toyota. Haze manages to get a Tumble Weed for two. Toyota gets the same move for two. To sum up my point, the announcers didn’t mention a thing when Haze did it but when Toyota does it: OH MY GOODNESS LOOK AT THIS! Yeah see what I mean?

Toyota hits the corner and apparently wants a moonsault. Haze manages to German her off the ropes….and Toyota pops up. Oh here we go. Kick to the head? No sold. Kick to the head? Here, let me SCREAM at you because that’s what I do after someone kicks me in the head. She ties Haze up in the ropes and misses a charge to send her feet first to the floor.

So let me get this straight. Getting picked up, thrown backwards and dropped on your fucking head doesn’t stop her, but landing feet first on a mat is enough to put her down for a bit. And people wonder why I make fun of puro. Nice cross body off the top to the floor by Haze lands them on the streamers. They have 20 counts in Chikara.

Back in and a couple top rope dropkicks hit for two. Oh but they’re signature moves so they’re AWESOME. Eh that’s not fair as Hogan and Steamboat and a lot of other big names have nothing special for a finisher. Moonsault gets two. German gets two. Electric chair by Toyota is reversed into a victory roll. The fans say this is awesome. I disagree. Good, not awesome. For the third time Toyota goes for the electric chair. Ok so now we finally got this to work. Now let’s see what it is. She spins her around…and then drops backwards for the pin.

Rating: B. Now before everyone and their mother jumps down my throat, let me make it clear: the match was good. If she’s the greatest women’s wrestler ever though, there isn’t much as far as women’s wrestling goes. Of course this could have been an off night for her, but I wasn’t incredibly impressed.

Granted that might be due to the announcers driving me absolutely insane as apparently every single move she did was a SIGNATURE move and we need to shout like we’re seeing a girl naked for the first time. Good match, but annoying as hell and overrated. Also, save me the recommendations for great matches from her. I really don’t care.

Post match Toyota literally walks over Haze to pose. I guess wrestling a competitive and clean match makes you not want to show respect to your opponent after the handshake to start the match.

3.0 says they’ll win the Campeonatos de Parejas Titles. In other words, the tag titles. They used to be losers so now they’re going to win. They don’t know how they got here but they’re going to win tonight.

Campeonatos de Parejas: Claudio Castagnoli/Ares vs. 3.0

3.0 is comprised of Scott “Jagged” Parker/Shane Matthews. Wow I’m sick of that damn song that BDK (Claudio/Ares, the champions) comes out to. This is 2/3 falls as are all title shots. The challengers come out second but Delirious runs out and beats them up pre-match. Ok Shane is in the red. Ares gets a Tiger Bomb and the first fall is over 4 seconds after the bell rings.

Claudio beats up Shane on the floor but then chokes Parker with the streamers than earlier. He is freaking ripped. Delirious is on the floor with them. Apparently Ares is the leader of the stable. There’s a guy in a Nexus shirt in one of the closest seats to the entrance who is kind of distracting. Modified powerslam by Ares gets two. This is totally one sided so far.

Bearhug by Claudio to Parker who fights out. And never mind as he’s in the hold again already. Another powerslam gets two and it’s off to Ares again. There’s some heel miscommunication though and Parker rolls up Claudio for the second fall and we’re all tied up! The fans are stunned as that’s the first time the BDK has ever given up a single fall as champions.

Double chokeslam kills Parker for two. The locker room empties to watch this now. The BDK picks up Parker and rams him into the mat multiple times in a cool looking move. Swanton by Ares gets two. Riccola Bomb is reversed by a rana and it’s finally the hot tag to Matthews. Spinebuster to Ares and Claudio gets sent to the floor.

Matthews goes up and hits an elbow drop for two on Ares. So these guys are supposed to be awesome and one tiny man is beating them both up at the same time. Got it. Eh that’s normal in wrestling though, so according to most wrestling fans that means it’s ok. Back to Claudio and Parker. Parker gets a Codebreaker and takes out Claudio on the floor. Matthews gets a powerbomb for two on Ares.

Spinning belly to back by Ares to counter a bulldog. European Uppercut gets two as does the Riccola (arm trap powerbomb) Bomb. The fans chant for 3.0 as apparently a B average works. Small package to Claudio gets two. Instead Claudio realizes he’s huge and puts on an Inverted Chikara Special (half crab with an arm trap that looks awesome). Parker kicks him in the head but since this is an indy company it’s no sold and there’s the tap out to end it.

Rating: B-. Good stuff here and I kind of like the whole quick first fall and then the rest of the match. They got me into the match in the end which is the whole point here. The locker room emptying out was cool as it shows that EVERYONE wants BDK to lose. This was a fun match and solid for the main event.

Overall Rating: B. I liked this. I’m not sure if it’s something I’d watch on a regular basis but for a one off show like this it worked pretty well. The BDK stuff gets a bit old but what exactly do they do? Is it just that they’re bad for the sake of being bad? That’s part of the issue here: I have no idea why the BDK is bad, but apparently they are.

Anyway, this was fun overall. The wrestling is entertaining enough and the matches all go by rather fast despite being 15 minutes long for the most part. This was a good show and I might take a look at some more of it in the future. Nothing great, but fun and a nice twist instead of it being the same old stuff you always see.
 
Nice review KB and I'm glad to see you enjoyed the show. I had a feeling a lighthearted comic-book lover like yourself would enjoy a promotion like CHIKARA and it appears as I was right. I still have this show's DVD sitting on my desk and have been meaning to watch it for months now but just haven't gotten to it yet. Toyota is the big draw here as this is here first appearance in the US, but I think you may have been a bit harsh on her. You have to remember she's 40 years old and has been wrestling a brutal style of match for over 20 years now. If you're interested in her though I would highly recommend tracking down some old AJW stuff with her from the 90s, as she was one of the best workers in the world at that point, regardless of gender.

Glad you enjoyed the show though, I'll definitely have to get around to this show soon, I'm still stuck back in June of last year in my CHIKARA-watching so I've got alot to catch up on.
 

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