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Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Best of the WWF Volume 12
Hosts: Craig DeGeorge, Johnny V
Commentators: Craig DeGeorge, Dick Graham, Johnny V, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Bobby Heenan
We continue with this series. Im trying to get all 20 volumes but theyre hard to find in full so Im not going to look that hard for them. Anyway this is yet another compilation tape of random house show matches which I tend to love as theyre something you dont see that often. This looks to be from late 87 to maybe early 88. Its definitely past Mania III if nothing else. Lets get to it.
Craig, the Michael Cole of his day, introduces Johnny V as his new partner. There are two new features here: the Dark Match (first time Ive EVER heard that used on an official WWF release) which is Tito Santana vs. Kamala. The other is the Coliseum Classic which is exactly what you would expect it to be: an old match, in this case the Mongols (evil foreigners) vs. Pedro Morales/Gorilla Monsoon (nicer foreigners). Johnny isnt exactly thrilled.
Ricky Steamboat vs. Kamala
I think were in Philly here. Ah yes Dick Graham is doing commentary and he never left that city. Kamala wants a test of strength to start and the commentators arent sure about this. Steamboat naturally tries to speed things up so Kamala busts out a leapfrog of all things. He adds a big kick to take over. Craig asks a good question: why does Fuji have a cane if he doesnt have any issues walking?
Kamala grabs the armpit of Steamboat in a new twist on the rest hold. You know, since were nearly two minutes into the match and hes tired already. Kamala looks fatter than he typically does here. He gets what could be classified as a modified chokeslam to send Steamboat flying. Steamboat has had next to no offense in this.
He tries to get some shots in and since Kamala is a monster, very basic offense is enough to take him down and have him reeling. Steamboat beats up both managers and lands a shot from the middle rope to put Kamala down to one knee. He tries to go up again but gets slammed down thanks to some nefarious means called Mr. Fuji. The big splash ends this clean in rather surprising fashion.
Rating: C. Whens the last time you saw Steamboat more or less get squashed? This is likely when he was about to head to the NWA so Vince was trying to make him seem as worthless as possible. The timing from earlier would seem to agree with that and Kamala wasnt around until about 88 so yeah this is part of the Steamboat Sucks Tour which would result in him winning the world title from Flair. Go figure.
Kamala vs. Tito Santana
Were told this is in Rockford, Illinois and its at a Superstars Taping. Since this is a dark match theres no original commentary so Johnny and Craig do it for us. Neither are any good so the sound is incredibly annoying. Tito tries to stick and move but has to avoid the Wizard and Kim Chee (Kamala always had two managers) at the same time.
Kamala wants a test of strength and holds his hand up for about 45 seconds as were told what a dark match is. Weve been on this Kamala wanting a test of strength thing for over a minute now. The announcers keep offering suggestions as to what hes doing such as wanting a basketball to palm or waving to friends. Shockingly, he was trying to hurt Titos hand. This is idiotic.
Tito steps on his hand but gets chopped in the head for his efforts. More Kamala dominance as he chokes away. Who wanted to see a tape of Kamala dominating like this? This match has been 50% choking, 50% of Kamala holding his hand in the air and 50% Tito throwing right hands. For some reason they keep going to wide shots. The Wizard trips Tito and the splash ends it, thank goodness.
Rating: F. This was AWFUL. I dont know who thought dedicating almost 15 minutes of a tape to Kamala was a good idea, but it certainly didnt work. He was good for crushing jobbers, not Hall of Famers. This was incredibly boring as most of it was choking or that stupid test of strength thing that Tito walked around for a few minutes because of. I see why this was a dark match. Just terrible.
Big Machine/Super Machine/Piper Machine vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan
Ah the Machines. Now this was a fun concept. They were supposedly a new tag team from Japan but they had zero accents whatsoever. If I remember right Super Machine is Ax from Demolition, Big Machine is Blackjack Mulligan and I think you get the other one. There was usually a third guest partner such as Animal Machine, Piper Machine or Hulk Machine. Yes its stupid comedy but it was designed to be stupid comedy, which takes away a lot of the pain in it. This is from 86ish and were in Boston.
Gene is just saying its Piper and he flashes his face to the crowd. Bundy starts with Super Machine. Bundy pounds him into the corner to start but misses the avalanche. Machine gets a cross body for two and its off to Studd and Big Machine. They collide and no one really goes anywhere. Piper wants in and the fans pop big for his tag. He takes the mask off for like the fourth time and pulls it back down. Sunset flip gets two as Piper is cleaning house.
Piper starts his usual antics and pokes Studd in the eye before slapping Heenan. Studd is like enough of this and goes for the bad knee of Piper. Bundy adds some shows and its off to Heenan. Naturally he cant do much of anything so its back to Bundy. Piper ducks underneath the big swings from the bald dude and turns it back to the comedy as he should.
And never mind as Bundy drills him. He tries for the mask and brings in Heenan for no apparent reason. Back to Bundy and/or Studd who destroy Piper for a good while. Another thumb to the eye lets Piper bring in Big Machine. Theyre doing the bodyslam challenge for 50 grand still here but apparently Heenan isnt paying. Wait wasnt that usually 15,000? Bundy misses a knee drop but they stay on Machine.
Studd gets the chinlock going as this is going way too long now. Back off to Piper which is pretty stupid. Studd meets him coming in so Piper is like screw the mask and rips it off. He manages to slam Studd for two but an accidental elbow drop from Bundy ends it seconds later. That was a big surprise indeed.
Rating: C. The crowd carries this one. Its not much of a match but the crowd was white hot the entire time. Ive always had a soft spot for the Machines as they were a straight up fun gimmick. This went on too long but there are times when you need to have a goofy match to give the crowd a laugh and this is a textbook example. Im overrating it but I had fun with it.
Johnny and Craig introduce the next match.
Luscious Johnny V. vs. Brutus Beefcake
Johnny used to manage Brutus which is why this is happening. Back to Boston here. Brutus had given Johnny a bad haircut which also adds to this. Johnny isnt much of a wrestler at all and Brutus is awful at this point. Theres either hair or blood all over the ring as this gets going. All Brutus so far here. Johnny gets in some shots but walks into the sleeper to end this in maybe two minutes. Beefcake cuts his hair post match.
Gorilla Monsoon/Pedro Morales vs. The Mongols
The Mongols are way old school and named Bepo and Geto. Monsoon is HUGE. Hes the Asian Champion and Pedro is US Champion (the WWF version which was gone by the 70s). This is 2/3 falls and were joined in progress. Its in Philly and from sometime in the late 60s. The Mongols are bald other than ponytails. This is the WWWF also. Monsoon is sent to the floor by the International Tag Team Champions.
Geto, the smaller one, drops a bunch of knees off the top on Gorilla to win the first fall. Clipped to the second fall and Pedro is in trouble. One of those Mongols looks a lot like Nikolai Volkoff. And Im right as hes Bepo. Bear hug by Gorilla but Bepo makes the save. This isnt incredibly good. Pedro watches Monsoon getting his ass kicked. The Mongols get disqualified for double teaming so we go to the third fall.
Monsoons back is hurt so FINALLY we get Pedro. He throws some decent dropkicks which gets the pin on Geto. The film starts messing up and looks like its being played in fast motion. The third fall was either clipped or lasted 18 seconds. Pedro looked good if nothing else I guess.
Rating: N/A. Havent used one of those in awhile. This really isnt fair to grade with all the clipping and lack of any story at all. Its not too bad and Pedro looked great. Monsoon was a freaking load and the Mongols were nothing special. Then again it was the 60s so how angry can I really get with it?
George Steele vs. Paul Orndorff
The hosts talk about how evil Heenan is here. He has a poster of Liz with him who Steele was obsessed with in a Beauty and the Beast thing. Bobby rips up the poster when George gets in. Yes lets tick off the madman that no one can control and is called ANIMAL. Steele chases Heenan and gets jumped by Orndorff who takes over to start us off. He stuff the pieces of the poster into Steeles face, again ticking off the guy called ANIMAL.
George gets going and the fans do with him. He stops for a buckle as Gorilla calls it a fetish. Gorilla Monsoon just said fetish. Thats not right. Were in MSG here if I forgot to mention that. Steele chases Heenan to the back and might not make it back in before the count. Theres a ton of trash in the ring. Ah there he is. Oh ok that trash was the poster.
Orndorff comes back in and hits Steele with something. Orndorff gets a cable to choke Steele but misses an elbow in the corner. Steele bites away on the arm and its an armbar now. Steele is a rather amusing character. George sets for the Flying Hammerlock but Heenan comes back with another poster. Steele gives chase with a chair and accidently hits the referee with it for the CHEAP DQ.
Rating: F. I have no idea what the point of this was, but this was terrible. I think it was a comedy/concept match, but it wasnt funny or interesting. The only way to grade this is as a failure and thats exactly what it was.
Womens Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Lelani Kai
Since its sometime in the 1900s, Moolah is champion. Heenan is on commentary here with Gorilla which is always a good thing. Still in MSG here. Kai jumps her to start and the beating is on. This is your usual 80s womens match and nothing all that great. Moolah likely trained Kai so their styles are similar. Naturally Moolah is heel here.
Moolah sends Kai to the floor and after some basic offense does it again. Both to the floor now for some light brawling. Moolah gets a shot with a phone that is at ringside for some reason. Gorilla and I cant believe that it hasnt been a count out yet. Moolah is back in first and is jawing at the referee. Crowd is DEAD. Match is clipped from Kai in control to them circling each other.
Kai gets a cross body for two. This is one of those matches where time goes by but nothing at all happens. Leg lock gets us nowhere and Kai misses a cross body to give Moolah control again. The referee pulls Moolah off. Heenan goes on a sexist rant as Moolah yells at the referee. Kai gets the worst dropkick ever but the referee pulls her off too. Moolah kicks Kai into the referee and gets a suplex for the pin. Awful match.
Rating: D-. The referee thing was weird as hell here. Total meh match that went about five minutes too long. The crowd was dead and I was falling asleep during it. Ive sat through Superstars matches and Herb Abrams UWF and yet this was putting me to sleep. I think that sums things up rather well.
We get a retrospective on Fink wearing bad tuxes. Ok then.
Now we see Gene and Hogan training. This set up one of the worst tag matches of all time, which thankfully isnt shown here. This eats up 2-3 minutes.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Yes Kamala is the focal point of this tape. Allow that to sink in a bit. Thinking this is in Philly but Im not sure. Ah make that Boston. Hogan hurts himself on a slam attempt and Kamala goes to work. I think you know the story here. Kamala tries some chops on the mat but here comes Hogan as he rolls out of the way. He fires away with lefts and drills Kim Chee for good measure.
Kamala drills Hogan as he goes after the manager and gets a shot with a foreign object. Hogan bleeds a bit but at this point even him suffering cant save this. We have five minutes left in this and I could go for some Benny Hill music to get us through it. Lots of choking by the darker skinned man. Nice bit of trivia: both of these two have put out albums.
Kamala goes up but Hogan crawls away so he climbs back down. This is painfully boring as theres no way Hogan doesnt win the match to end the tape. Oh and Gorilla has NEVER seen Hogan take this much of a beating before. Splash gets two and Hulk begins his seizure. If you dont know the rest of this match, youre an idiot.
Rating: D. Typical Hogan match to end this. Hogan matches in the 80s really were a dime a dozen. Thats whats kind of surprising about the Andre match: it was an extended match of what he did every night but it got 90,000+ to watch it. Again, this was the Kamala tape. Do I need to explain to you that this was bad?
Overall Rating: F+. There are some passable matches on here, but for 75 minutes and with the focus on Kamala, how into this could I get? It was awful and one of the least interesting shows Ive seen in a very long time. Nothing going on here at all and Im not complaining a bit that its over. Next show please.
Hosts: Craig DeGeorge, Johnny V
Commentators: Craig DeGeorge, Dick Graham, Johnny V, Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Bobby Heenan
We continue with this series. Im trying to get all 20 volumes but theyre hard to find in full so Im not going to look that hard for them. Anyway this is yet another compilation tape of random house show matches which I tend to love as theyre something you dont see that often. This looks to be from late 87 to maybe early 88. Its definitely past Mania III if nothing else. Lets get to it.
Craig, the Michael Cole of his day, introduces Johnny V as his new partner. There are two new features here: the Dark Match (first time Ive EVER heard that used on an official WWF release) which is Tito Santana vs. Kamala. The other is the Coliseum Classic which is exactly what you would expect it to be: an old match, in this case the Mongols (evil foreigners) vs. Pedro Morales/Gorilla Monsoon (nicer foreigners). Johnny isnt exactly thrilled.
Ricky Steamboat vs. Kamala
I think were in Philly here. Ah yes Dick Graham is doing commentary and he never left that city. Kamala wants a test of strength to start and the commentators arent sure about this. Steamboat naturally tries to speed things up so Kamala busts out a leapfrog of all things. He adds a big kick to take over. Craig asks a good question: why does Fuji have a cane if he doesnt have any issues walking?
Kamala grabs the armpit of Steamboat in a new twist on the rest hold. You know, since were nearly two minutes into the match and hes tired already. Kamala looks fatter than he typically does here. He gets what could be classified as a modified chokeslam to send Steamboat flying. Steamboat has had next to no offense in this.
He tries to get some shots in and since Kamala is a monster, very basic offense is enough to take him down and have him reeling. Steamboat beats up both managers and lands a shot from the middle rope to put Kamala down to one knee. He tries to go up again but gets slammed down thanks to some nefarious means called Mr. Fuji. The big splash ends this clean in rather surprising fashion.
Rating: C. Whens the last time you saw Steamboat more or less get squashed? This is likely when he was about to head to the NWA so Vince was trying to make him seem as worthless as possible. The timing from earlier would seem to agree with that and Kamala wasnt around until about 88 so yeah this is part of the Steamboat Sucks Tour which would result in him winning the world title from Flair. Go figure.
Kamala vs. Tito Santana
Were told this is in Rockford, Illinois and its at a Superstars Taping. Since this is a dark match theres no original commentary so Johnny and Craig do it for us. Neither are any good so the sound is incredibly annoying. Tito tries to stick and move but has to avoid the Wizard and Kim Chee (Kamala always had two managers) at the same time.
Kamala wants a test of strength and holds his hand up for about 45 seconds as were told what a dark match is. Weve been on this Kamala wanting a test of strength thing for over a minute now. The announcers keep offering suggestions as to what hes doing such as wanting a basketball to palm or waving to friends. Shockingly, he was trying to hurt Titos hand. This is idiotic.
Tito steps on his hand but gets chopped in the head for his efforts. More Kamala dominance as he chokes away. Who wanted to see a tape of Kamala dominating like this? This match has been 50% choking, 50% of Kamala holding his hand in the air and 50% Tito throwing right hands. For some reason they keep going to wide shots. The Wizard trips Tito and the splash ends it, thank goodness.
Rating: F. This was AWFUL. I dont know who thought dedicating almost 15 minutes of a tape to Kamala was a good idea, but it certainly didnt work. He was good for crushing jobbers, not Hall of Famers. This was incredibly boring as most of it was choking or that stupid test of strength thing that Tito walked around for a few minutes because of. I see why this was a dark match. Just terrible.
Big Machine/Super Machine/Piper Machine vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan
Ah the Machines. Now this was a fun concept. They were supposedly a new tag team from Japan but they had zero accents whatsoever. If I remember right Super Machine is Ax from Demolition, Big Machine is Blackjack Mulligan and I think you get the other one. There was usually a third guest partner such as Animal Machine, Piper Machine or Hulk Machine. Yes its stupid comedy but it was designed to be stupid comedy, which takes away a lot of the pain in it. This is from 86ish and were in Boston.
Gene is just saying its Piper and he flashes his face to the crowd. Bundy starts with Super Machine. Bundy pounds him into the corner to start but misses the avalanche. Machine gets a cross body for two and its off to Studd and Big Machine. They collide and no one really goes anywhere. Piper wants in and the fans pop big for his tag. He takes the mask off for like the fourth time and pulls it back down. Sunset flip gets two as Piper is cleaning house.
Piper starts his usual antics and pokes Studd in the eye before slapping Heenan. Studd is like enough of this and goes for the bad knee of Piper. Bundy adds some shows and its off to Heenan. Naturally he cant do much of anything so its back to Bundy. Piper ducks underneath the big swings from the bald dude and turns it back to the comedy as he should.
And never mind as Bundy drills him. He tries for the mask and brings in Heenan for no apparent reason. Back to Bundy and/or Studd who destroy Piper for a good while. Another thumb to the eye lets Piper bring in Big Machine. Theyre doing the bodyslam challenge for 50 grand still here but apparently Heenan isnt paying. Wait wasnt that usually 15,000? Bundy misses a knee drop but they stay on Machine.
Studd gets the chinlock going as this is going way too long now. Back off to Piper which is pretty stupid. Studd meets him coming in so Piper is like screw the mask and rips it off. He manages to slam Studd for two but an accidental elbow drop from Bundy ends it seconds later. That was a big surprise indeed.
Rating: C. The crowd carries this one. Its not much of a match but the crowd was white hot the entire time. Ive always had a soft spot for the Machines as they were a straight up fun gimmick. This went on too long but there are times when you need to have a goofy match to give the crowd a laugh and this is a textbook example. Im overrating it but I had fun with it.
Johnny and Craig introduce the next match.
Luscious Johnny V. vs. Brutus Beefcake
Johnny used to manage Brutus which is why this is happening. Back to Boston here. Brutus had given Johnny a bad haircut which also adds to this. Johnny isnt much of a wrestler at all and Brutus is awful at this point. Theres either hair or blood all over the ring as this gets going. All Brutus so far here. Johnny gets in some shots but walks into the sleeper to end this in maybe two minutes. Beefcake cuts his hair post match.
Gorilla Monsoon/Pedro Morales vs. The Mongols
The Mongols are way old school and named Bepo and Geto. Monsoon is HUGE. Hes the Asian Champion and Pedro is US Champion (the WWF version which was gone by the 70s). This is 2/3 falls and were joined in progress. Its in Philly and from sometime in the late 60s. The Mongols are bald other than ponytails. This is the WWWF also. Monsoon is sent to the floor by the International Tag Team Champions.
Geto, the smaller one, drops a bunch of knees off the top on Gorilla to win the first fall. Clipped to the second fall and Pedro is in trouble. One of those Mongols looks a lot like Nikolai Volkoff. And Im right as hes Bepo. Bear hug by Gorilla but Bepo makes the save. This isnt incredibly good. Pedro watches Monsoon getting his ass kicked. The Mongols get disqualified for double teaming so we go to the third fall.
Monsoons back is hurt so FINALLY we get Pedro. He throws some decent dropkicks which gets the pin on Geto. The film starts messing up and looks like its being played in fast motion. The third fall was either clipped or lasted 18 seconds. Pedro looked good if nothing else I guess.
Rating: N/A. Havent used one of those in awhile. This really isnt fair to grade with all the clipping and lack of any story at all. Its not too bad and Pedro looked great. Monsoon was a freaking load and the Mongols were nothing special. Then again it was the 60s so how angry can I really get with it?
George Steele vs. Paul Orndorff
The hosts talk about how evil Heenan is here. He has a poster of Liz with him who Steele was obsessed with in a Beauty and the Beast thing. Bobby rips up the poster when George gets in. Yes lets tick off the madman that no one can control and is called ANIMAL. Steele chases Heenan and gets jumped by Orndorff who takes over to start us off. He stuff the pieces of the poster into Steeles face, again ticking off the guy called ANIMAL.
George gets going and the fans do with him. He stops for a buckle as Gorilla calls it a fetish. Gorilla Monsoon just said fetish. Thats not right. Were in MSG here if I forgot to mention that. Steele chases Heenan to the back and might not make it back in before the count. Theres a ton of trash in the ring. Ah there he is. Oh ok that trash was the poster.
Orndorff comes back in and hits Steele with something. Orndorff gets a cable to choke Steele but misses an elbow in the corner. Steele bites away on the arm and its an armbar now. Steele is a rather amusing character. George sets for the Flying Hammerlock but Heenan comes back with another poster. Steele gives chase with a chair and accidently hits the referee with it for the CHEAP DQ.
Rating: F. I have no idea what the point of this was, but this was terrible. I think it was a comedy/concept match, but it wasnt funny or interesting. The only way to grade this is as a failure and thats exactly what it was.
Womens Title: Fabulous Moolah vs. Lelani Kai
Since its sometime in the 1900s, Moolah is champion. Heenan is on commentary here with Gorilla which is always a good thing. Still in MSG here. Kai jumps her to start and the beating is on. This is your usual 80s womens match and nothing all that great. Moolah likely trained Kai so their styles are similar. Naturally Moolah is heel here.
Moolah sends Kai to the floor and after some basic offense does it again. Both to the floor now for some light brawling. Moolah gets a shot with a phone that is at ringside for some reason. Gorilla and I cant believe that it hasnt been a count out yet. Moolah is back in first and is jawing at the referee. Crowd is DEAD. Match is clipped from Kai in control to them circling each other.
Kai gets a cross body for two. This is one of those matches where time goes by but nothing at all happens. Leg lock gets us nowhere and Kai misses a cross body to give Moolah control again. The referee pulls Moolah off. Heenan goes on a sexist rant as Moolah yells at the referee. Kai gets the worst dropkick ever but the referee pulls her off too. Moolah kicks Kai into the referee and gets a suplex for the pin. Awful match.
Rating: D-. The referee thing was weird as hell here. Total meh match that went about five minutes too long. The crowd was dead and I was falling asleep during it. Ive sat through Superstars matches and Herb Abrams UWF and yet this was putting me to sleep. I think that sums things up rather well.
We get a retrospective on Fink wearing bad tuxes. Ok then.
Now we see Gene and Hogan training. This set up one of the worst tag matches of all time, which thankfully isnt shown here. This eats up 2-3 minutes.
WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Kamala
Yes Kamala is the focal point of this tape. Allow that to sink in a bit. Thinking this is in Philly but Im not sure. Ah make that Boston. Hogan hurts himself on a slam attempt and Kamala goes to work. I think you know the story here. Kamala tries some chops on the mat but here comes Hogan as he rolls out of the way. He fires away with lefts and drills Kim Chee for good measure.
Kamala drills Hogan as he goes after the manager and gets a shot with a foreign object. Hogan bleeds a bit but at this point even him suffering cant save this. We have five minutes left in this and I could go for some Benny Hill music to get us through it. Lots of choking by the darker skinned man. Nice bit of trivia: both of these two have put out albums.
Kamala goes up but Hogan crawls away so he climbs back down. This is painfully boring as theres no way Hogan doesnt win the match to end the tape. Oh and Gorilla has NEVER seen Hogan take this much of a beating before. Splash gets two and Hulk begins his seizure. If you dont know the rest of this match, youre an idiot.
Rating: D. Typical Hogan match to end this. Hogan matches in the 80s really were a dime a dozen. Thats whats kind of surprising about the Andre match: it was an extended match of what he did every night but it got 90,000+ to watch it. Again, this was the Kamala tape. Do I need to explain to you that this was bad?
Overall Rating: F+. There are some passable matches on here, but for 75 minutes and with the focus on Kamala, how into this could I get? It was awful and one of the least interesting shows Ive seen in a very long time. Nothing going on here at all and Im not complaining a bit that its over. Next show please.