AS81: Theron Daggershield vs. Mr. Butty
- Thread starter Harthan
- Start date
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This match has a 24 hour extension.
The promo begins with the sight of Old Glory fluttering in the breeze, the American flag outside a school before the camera switches inside to the office of a head teacher or principal, if you wish. As the camera pans around the office, it finally settles on the grave face of Mr. Butty, the man who returned to the WZCW last week with a big win over Corvus and Lexi Hayes, and he prepares to speak.
MR. BUTTY
Ladies and Gentlemen of the United States of America, I implore you to listen to the voice of reason. I beseech you to pay attention for I, Mr. Butty, have an important message that you need to hear. An important missive about the state of the youth of today and the failing education systems that are placing the very future of this once great country in severe jeopardy. America, I despair. I despair of what I see when I look around the classrooms of your schools and I despair when I look around the front rows here in the WZCW. Children, the future generations, descending into new levels of ineptitude and poor progress. America, it is time to fight back. It is time to address these issues and I am here to do just that. But first of all, I wish to show you something.
A title screen pops up
before we see the American President, Barack Obama, speaking in 2011 about education.
You learn how to learn. How to think critically and find solutions to unexpected challenges.
MR. BUTTY
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the words of your very own President Obama. The most powerful man in the world some call him. But tell me, America, would the most powerful man in the world make a statement like this and then allow a failing education system to mock his words? Would the most powerful man in the world talk about overcoming unexpected challenges and then allow terrible teachers and terrible schools to fail the very young people that they teach? President Obama says You learn how to learn. In a perfect world, President Obama is correct. In a perfect world, the young people of the United States of America would heed his words and think critically. They would face up to challenges and confront them without fear to find the solutions needed.
The camera zooms in on Buttys scowling face.
MR. BUTTY
They would not roll dice in order to make a decision.
You need to know how to gather facts and process information.
MR. BUTTY
Wise words indeed, Mr. President. So why do you continually allow the minds of the youth of America to be poisoned and tricked into believing that the world owes them a favour? Why do you allow them to believe that everything will come easily to them? The young people of America continue to follow their idols on television, in sports and on their games consoles, they are fed the notion that there is no need to gather facts and no need to process information. You have role models to millions of children across the United States of America that tell them that there is no need to process facts and information
Once again, the camera zooms in.
MR. BUTTY
because they can simply roll the dice?
The greatest rewards come not from instant gratification but from sustained effort and from hard work.
MR. BUTTY
Do you hear what your President is saying, America? He speaks the truth, he is a wise man but he is also the most foolish man who ever took charge of this once powerful nation, he is dragging it down to the depths of despair and you dont see it happening in front of your very eyes. President Obama speaks the truth but does not ensure that the truth is acted upon and he is destroying the future well-being of your sons and daughters. Sure, he speaks well in soundbites and thinks he knows all the answers, he is a metaphor for America itself, but he fails to grasp that actions speak louder than words. Right here in the WZCW, we have a product of this failed education system, a man who rolls a dice in order to make a decision. A man who spent his childhood immersed in video games and a fantasy world instead of spending time studying and working hard to improve himself. Is this the hard work you speak of President Obama?
You can learn how to be a better human being.
MR. BUTTY
Shawn Daggers you know him better as Theron Daggershield is sadly one of many examples of a mis-spent youth. A boy who sought solace in fantasy games because he could not face the fact that hard work and sustained effort is what you need to make it in this world. Now he competes here in the WZCW and panders to the crowd as some kind of role model for the youth of today. You might want to roll the dice and gamble with your own future, Daggershield, but how can you be allowed to get away with polluting the minds of the American youth? You are a nothing, sunshine, a failure in life. A deluded, moronic misfit who should never have been allowed to leave the education system until he confronted his ridiculous notions of what life is like in the real world.
Once more, the camera zooms in on Butty as he spits venomous comments out.
MR. BUTTY
However, there is a cure for this, America. Its people like Theron Daggershield that made me want to come to the WZCW, so-called role models who need to be taught a lesson and I am here to do just that. Whilst Shawn Daggers likes to promote a culture of laziness and an inability to face up to the problems you encounter, I am here to solve the problem and rid the WZCW of the wrestlers who are not worthy of your support. I told you all last week that the cure was coming. Lexi Hayes knows it. Corvus knows it. Now, Theron Daggershield, its time for you to realise it too.
THE CURE HAS ARRIVED!
I am Mr. Butty, I am the cure and I approve this message.
MR. BUTTY
Ladies and Gentlemen of the United States of America, I implore you to listen to the voice of reason. I beseech you to pay attention for I, Mr. Butty, have an important message that you need to hear. An important missive about the state of the youth of today and the failing education systems that are placing the very future of this once great country in severe jeopardy. America, I despair. I despair of what I see when I look around the classrooms of your schools and I despair when I look around the front rows here in the WZCW. Children, the future generations, descending into new levels of ineptitude and poor progress. America, it is time to fight back. It is time to address these issues and I am here to do just that. But first of all, I wish to show you something.
A title screen pops up
before we see the American President, Barack Obama, speaking in 2011 about education.
You learn how to learn. How to think critically and find solutions to unexpected challenges.
MR. BUTTY
Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the words of your very own President Obama. The most powerful man in the world some call him. But tell me, America, would the most powerful man in the world make a statement like this and then allow a failing education system to mock his words? Would the most powerful man in the world talk about overcoming unexpected challenges and then allow terrible teachers and terrible schools to fail the very young people that they teach? President Obama says You learn how to learn. In a perfect world, President Obama is correct. In a perfect world, the young people of the United States of America would heed his words and think critically. They would face up to challenges and confront them without fear to find the solutions needed.
The camera zooms in on Buttys scowling face.
MR. BUTTY
They would not roll dice in order to make a decision.
You need to know how to gather facts and process information.
MR. BUTTY
Wise words indeed, Mr. President. So why do you continually allow the minds of the youth of America to be poisoned and tricked into believing that the world owes them a favour? Why do you allow them to believe that everything will come easily to them? The young people of America continue to follow their idols on television, in sports and on their games consoles, they are fed the notion that there is no need to gather facts and no need to process information. You have role models to millions of children across the United States of America that tell them that there is no need to process facts and information
Once again, the camera zooms in.
MR. BUTTY
because they can simply roll the dice?
The greatest rewards come not from instant gratification but from sustained effort and from hard work.
MR. BUTTY
Do you hear what your President is saying, America? He speaks the truth, he is a wise man but he is also the most foolish man who ever took charge of this once powerful nation, he is dragging it down to the depths of despair and you dont see it happening in front of your very eyes. President Obama speaks the truth but does not ensure that the truth is acted upon and he is destroying the future well-being of your sons and daughters. Sure, he speaks well in soundbites and thinks he knows all the answers, he is a metaphor for America itself, but he fails to grasp that actions speak louder than words. Right here in the WZCW, we have a product of this failed education system, a man who rolls a dice in order to make a decision. A man who spent his childhood immersed in video games and a fantasy world instead of spending time studying and working hard to improve himself. Is this the hard work you speak of President Obama?
You can learn how to be a better human being.
MR. BUTTY
Shawn Daggers you know him better as Theron Daggershield is sadly one of many examples of a mis-spent youth. A boy who sought solace in fantasy games because he could not face the fact that hard work and sustained effort is what you need to make it in this world. Now he competes here in the WZCW and panders to the crowd as some kind of role model for the youth of today. You might want to roll the dice and gamble with your own future, Daggershield, but how can you be allowed to get away with polluting the minds of the American youth? You are a nothing, sunshine, a failure in life. A deluded, moronic misfit who should never have been allowed to leave the education system until he confronted his ridiculous notions of what life is like in the real world.
Once more, the camera zooms in on Butty as he spits venomous comments out.
MR. BUTTY
However, there is a cure for this, America. Its people like Theron Daggershield that made me want to come to the WZCW, so-called role models who need to be taught a lesson and I am here to do just that. Whilst Shawn Daggers likes to promote a culture of laziness and an inability to face up to the problems you encounter, I am here to solve the problem and rid the WZCW of the wrestlers who are not worthy of your support. I told you all last week that the cure was coming. Lexi Hayes knows it. Corvus knows it. Now, Theron Daggershield, its time for you to realise it too.
THE CURE HAS ARRIVED!
I am Mr. Butty, I am the cure and I approve this message.
Theron's Merry Band Of Misfits
[YOUTUBE]1eU0tRBHnE0[/YOUTUBE]
[YOUTUBE]1eU0tRBHnE0[/YOUTUBE]
Scene opens to a lounge in the Learning District of the town of Thunderbelle as a relaxed tune plays in the background and keeps playing through the following scenes. The room has a bright red carpet and orange walls. There are two Minotaur skull trophies hanging over the door at the left side of the room. To the right of the skulls is an ugly painting of a lion. Underneath that is a yellow recliner that Theron Daggershield is sitting in. Two aquatic elves are playing chess in the far right corner of the room, next to a stairway leading upstairs.
Theron: I can't believe I lost last round. Had I known it would come down to Dybbuk and myself in a singles match, I would have come up with a completely different strategy. I have to do better this round if I am going to have any momentum going into the Risky Raffle.
The sound of hooves can be heard as Keifasar the Necromancer rides into the lounge on Abduroff the horse skeleton, he waves at Theron as he enters the room.
Keifasar: So.... How did it go last round? Did my amazing holy water idea win you the match?
Theron: Nope. It ended up being a singles match between Dybbuk and myself. I lost the match! There, are you happy now!?
Keifasar: I've never been happy.
Theron raises his left eyebrow, then Keifasar makes a sarcastic grin and points to the ugly painting on the wall depicting a lion.
Keifasar: Just kidding!!!!
Theron looks behind him and notices that the painting of the lion is what Keifasar is pointing to. Theron faces forward again.
Theron: Why are you pointing at that ugly painting?
At that moment a halfling scholar walks over to Keifasar.
Halfling Scholar: Ummmm.... Sir? We do not allow pets in here, let alone.... whatever that is you're riding on.... Take it outside or I will have to ask you to leave.
Keifasar: How dare you talk about Abduroff like that!
Keifasar snaps his finger. The scholar tries to respond but no audible sound is heard. He frantically runs around trying to talk, failing each time. He runs out of the room.
Theron: So this round I am facing The Professor. He is a bardic gladiator who also teaches here at the Learning District.
Keifasar: Didn't that guy win a triple threat last round?
Sheshmish the Orc Swashbuckler and Kirilah the Paladin of Mystra walk down the stairs over to where Theron and Keifasar are. Sheshmish has a bottle of rum in his left hand.
Sheshmish: Arrr, captain! I just seen the weirdest thing! The halfling who be running this place just ran past us panicking. I asked the landlubber what his problem be, he glared at me and ran outside!
Theron: Keifasar cast a mute curse on that scholar because he tried to make Keifasar take Abduroff outside.
Kirilah rolls her eyes and sits down next to Theron. Sheshmish sits down on a yellow couch across from Theron before taking a sip from his bottle of rum.
Theron: To answer your question, Keifasar, yes he won his triple threat last round. He defeated the returning Elgold Taletreader and the newest member of the roster, Lauren the Paladin of Torm.
Keifasar: What's a Paladin?
Kirilah sighs and rolls her eyes again, she appears frustrated by her facial expression.
Keifasar: I'm just joking, Kirilah! Relax! Have some fun for once!
The room is silent for a moment, including the aquatic elves who are still playing chess by the stairs. The silence is broken by Abduroff snorting, Theron cracks his knuckles.
Theron: I'm not worried about The Professor at all. I can win this. He wouldn't be the first teacher that I outsmarted.
Sheshmish: Yarr, what do ye mean, captain?
Theron: Well, there was the time my Elven Literature professor told our class she would specifically look for questions to quiz us on that could not be answered in the Crag-Notes version of the tome we were reading. Little did she know, I knew about another way out.... Slope-Notes! I never opened that tome a single time and still passed the exams.
Sheshmish raises his rum bottle up high showing a look of approval in his face.
Sheshmish: Brilliant, captain!
Sheshmish takes a sip of his rum and places the bottle at his side.
Theron: Let's see.... What else.... Ah, yes. Then there was my Half-Elf professor from Humanoid Psychology. She had tests we took electronically. She was ready to flunk me, but the electronic format worked against her. It asked you if you wanted to re-try the test before printing it to turn in to her. So I take all the tests, I write down the correct answers on a sheet of paper, re-take the tests, and got a perfect score the second time around on all of them.
Keifasar: What did the teacher say?
Theron: Well, considering I only went to her lecture a grand total of twice that semester, once on syllabus day and once during finals week, let's just say I wasn't her favorite student. She was ready to flunk me, until I walked into her classroom the final week of the semester with a big stack of all her tests. "Here's my tests. I got 100's on all of them. Bye!" I said. She was furious, but had to give me an A.
Kirilah: Isn't that cheating?
Theron: Nope. There was nothing in her syllabus or the student handbook stating we could not take the tests twice.
Kirilah: I had an A in every class and actually earned my 4.0 GPA, unlike you.
Kirilah takes out a pink brush from a pink bag of holding she has at her side and starts brushing her hair.
Theron: Who said I had a 4.0? I had to have time to play Labyrinths & Leviathans and watch the World Gladiatorial Combat Federation shows. Studying wasn't my priority. Outsmarting my professors so that I didn't have to do the work was.
Kirilah: I have to say, it disappoints me that you do not find value in studying to legitimately earn a good education. I see your dedication to reading the Tome of Mystra has received a similar lack of attention.
Sheshmish: Tell us another tale, captain!
Theron: Hmmmm.... Ok, so my Dwarven History professor was never that fond of the remarks that back-row goof offs like myself would say if ever asked a question. He challenged me to make him laugh, and he'd give me a B for the semester without ever having to take a test. I accepted. He was rumored to have never laughed in over 40 years.
Keifasar: What happened?
Theron laughs to himself and smiles, before speaking again.
Theron: Countless puns, jokes, and sarcastic remarks failed. Then one day toward the end of the semester.... I finally got him. He was handing back one of the tests I never took. He told me I had one last chance to make him laugh. I go up to the front of the class, as my classmates looked on. I looked at the professor and told him I was going to make Peanut Butter sandwiches for him that day. Then I added that I brought a bottle of smooth Peanut Butter in case he was allergic to peanuts. The room was dead silent for about a minute, then he began to laugh hysterically. He laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.
Keifasar: You do know there's still peanuts in smooth peanut butter, right?
Theron: Of course. I was able to pretend I didn't know, and maintain a straight face. Thus, I earned a B in that class by doing nothing but tell jokes.
Kirilah: I would rather score a 100 in the class and earn it the old fashioned way.
She stops brushing her hair, and places the brush back into her pink bag of holding.
Theron: The point, Kirilah, is that if I outsmarted three of the strictest teachers at my Weaponmaster University in a classroom setting, just think what I can do to The Professor in gladiatorial combat, the setting where I am the one who has the advantage?
Kirilah: Fair enough. So, the real reason Sheshmish and I came looking for you is to provide an update regarding the investigation on infiltrating the lair of the Shar Cult's ruler.
Theron: Well?
Sheshmish grabs his bottle of rum for another sip, then looks toward Theron after he finishes drinking.
Sheshmish: I may be able to get us in with only four of the Mystrian artifacts, Captain!
Kirilah: As opposed to having to gather all nine, which I think we should, but destroying the cult is a higher priority.
Theron: Great. We only have three of them though.
Keifasar: The fourth is in the Blixt Tower in this region. We got chased out by Thunder Cultists. Don't you remember? Beardacus who you just recently faced is a Shar Shrine Leader there.
Theron: That's right!!!! I forgot. I got so caught up in that whole Vire Silverclaw situation that it completely slipped my mind. Then we went to play Snow Glider, and so much has gone on.
Kirilah: How about this then, what if I take the others to the tower and try to once more obtain the artifact. You stay here and win your match. I hope Mystra blesses you with a victory.
Theron: You're not going to watch my match, Kirilah? You always watch my matches.
Kirilah stands up.
Kirilah: No, Theron. Your new little friend can watch your match. That Lauren of Torm who you seem to like so much.
Keifasar: Oh, wow. That's akward. I'm going now.
Keifasar rides out on Abduroff. Sheshmish gets up, nearly dropping his bottle of rum in the process.
Sheshmish: Yarr! Wait for me, Keifasar! Don't leave me with Kirilah and the captain!
The orc makes his way out of the room to catch up to Keifasar. The aquatic elves remain deeply focused on their chess match, now being the only others still in the room besides Theron and Kirilah.
Theron: What's going on, Kirilah? She's just a co-worker who asked me for directions.
Kirilah: I want you to stay away from her. I don't like her!
Theron gets up and puts his arms around her. She appears a little less angry following his embrace.
Theron: I love you, Kirilah, and I want you to come watch me win. I'll dedicate this victory to you, and to Mystra!
She pushes him away gently, and sighs.
Kirilah: I need you to prove it to me that I can trust you. Stay AWAY from that girl.
Theron: Kirilah, I swear, in Mystra's name, you are the only woman who holds a place in my heart.
Kirilah: Actions speak louder than words.
She begins to walk past him, but then turns back to face Theron again. She takes out a letter from her bag of holding.
Kirilah: Before I go, I forgot to give these to you. Carrier gryphon left them with me when they could not find you.
Theron takes the letter and opens it to read it.
"Theron Daggershield, due to your record setting high score in the Snow Glider electronic simulator, you have been selected to be our guest of honor in a research panel. Meet with us on the week following your match with The Professor. Do not be late.
Sincerely,
(illegible doctor signature)"
Sincerely,
(illegible doctor signature)"
Theron puts the letter away.
Kirilah: I will attend your match, but it will be the last match of yours I ever watch if you go anywhere near Lauren again. Good luck in the match.
Kirilah exits the room. Theron watches her leave, before the aquatic elves who have been in the room this entire time finally speak.
Aquatic Elf 1: You better not let that one get away.
Theron walks over to the chess table where they have been sitting.
Theron: What are you talking about, and why were you listening to my private conversation?
Aquatic Elf 1: I was in your shoes once. I lost the love of my life over something stupid.
Aquatic Elf 2: Forget that bro, he's got bigger problems. He is about to face The Professor in the next gladiatorial event! I hate that guy, he's a teacher and I hate teachers! Theron, I hope you win that match for the sake of every student that any teacher ever made miserable!
Theron: You bet I will! I'm feeling quite confident. After having won recently against fierce opponents like Daniel "The Main Event" Jaguar or The Cutting Tool.... I have nothing to fear. The Professor on the other hand? He's way out of his element. This is no classroom. It's gladiatorial combat, and he's not facing a rookie or anyone returning after taking a hiatus. He's stepping in the ring with none other than The Warblade THERON DAGGERSHIELD!
Theron takes out his Falchion and the scene fades out as he shows off several flashy impressive slashing maneuvers for the aquatic elves. Fade to black.
- Status
