Issue #10: Latex & Booze
The scene begins with our green hero, Haven, walking down a sidewalk tucked in-between the occasional tree and lamp post. The WZCW Tag Team Championship hangs proudly around his waist. It has been less than year since Haven walked on the sidewalks of the Hero Academy campus. Now, he was back, not as a student, but as an alumni. Hyada made it absolutely clear to Haven that he wanted to give his full attention to passing the accelerated program, so Haven thought it best to occupy his time on the grounds of his alma mater while Hyada studied. The memories quickly began to flood in as Haven spotted several locations he once frequented with his fellow classmates.
Haven: Ah, nothing like a nice stroll around H.A.!
Suddenly, Haven walks up to a booth where a handful of odd looking fellows sit idly behind it.
???: Excuse me, sir!?
Haven: Who, me?
Haven looks over at a geeky looking college aged student with glasses on.
???: Yes, you. Hello, my name is Cornelius Firewire, Firewire for short. I am the president of the Unique & Talented Fraternity. We are currently looking for a sponsor-
???: Huzzah! Firewire, do you not know who that is?
Firewire: Libro, I am talking here.
Libro: But dude, this is Haven! The WZCW Tag Team Champion, Class of 2013!
Firewire, Libro and two others at the booth both make a sound of wonderment in unison.
Group: Oooh, aaaw!
Haven: Oh, yeah. That’s me! Haha.
Firewire reaches out and grabs Haven’s hand to shake it.
Firewire: Mr. Haven, we are big fans. You are practically a legend among my peers. In fact, we are all gearing up for a watch party to watch the next Ascension where you will take on Blade & Mick Overlast.
Haven: Uh, thanks.
Firewire: Pardon me, I am Firewire. This is Libro.
Firewire points over at a guy wearing a comic book shirt.
Firewire: Over here is Grub.
Firewire points over to a rotund guy with a smile of gold.
Firewire: And finally, this is Tumbler.
Haven looks down at the midget size man Firewire is pointing at.
Haven: Oh, like the websi-
Tumbler: NO, not like the website! My name existed before the website! Damn it! Every time!
Tumbler walks off fuming.
Libro: He’ll get over it. Short man syndrome.
Libro winks at Haven. Haven just smiles and nods.
Firewire: So, anyways. You are perfect for what we are looking for if you are interested. You see, we need a sponsor for the-
Suddenly, a group of college students in letter-men jackets come up and flip the booth that the UT fraternity are at. They all laugh and shout insults at the fraternity. One of the men is very large and has mutton chops. He holds up his arms and shouts.
???: BADGER DAN RULES! TIER 10 FRATERNITY RULES!
They all laugh as the UT fraternity cowers in fear. Haven shouts.
Haven: Hey! What do you guys think you are doing? Pick that back up.
The large man known as Badger Dan snorts and walks up to Haven and gets into his face.
BADGER DAN: BADGER DAN WANTS TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE, PIPSQUEAK!
???: Badger Dan! That’s enough.
Suddenly, a suave towheaded looking fellow walks up wearing the same letter-men jacket as the other Tier 10 Fraternity members.
???: Do you not know who this man is, boys? This is H.A. alumni, Haven. He has been traveling with WZCW and stopping crime internationally while holding that-
The suave college student points down at Haven’s tag team championship.
BADGER DAN: HIS CROTCH?
???: No, you oaf. The WZCW Tag Team Championship. Now, pick up UT’s booth.
As the other members of T10 begrudgingly pick up the booth and put everything back in order, the suave man introduces himself to Haven.
???: I apologize, my name is Tim Fencer IV. I am the president of T10.
Haven smiles as he shakes Fencer’s hand.
Haven: Wait a minute, I know you. Your father is the White Fencer!
Fencer: *chuckles* Yes, and so was his father, and his father’s father. And so will I be one day.
Haven is a bit starstruck.
Haven: Wow.
Fencer: Look, this is a crazy idea, but would you like to come to a T10 party tonight? I mean, we’ll have women in latex, booze, and did I mention women in latex?
Haven: A party? Uh-
Fencer: I mean, unless you are busy with your friends over there.
Haven peers over Fencer’s shoulders and looks at the pathetic group known as the UT fraternity.
Haven: You know, I actually just met them. Booze in latex sounds great. I mean, women in booze. I mean-
Fencer chuckles as he pats Haven on the pack and starts walking him down the sidewalk. The rest of the T10 fraternity follow. Haven peers back and sees the sad look on UT’s faces, but he just bites his cheek and tries to forget about it. He then looks up at Badger Dan as the group continues to walk.
Haven: Pardon me, but didn’t I go to school with you Badger Dan?
BADGER DAN: 8 YEARS RUNNING, COMPADRE! HAHAHAHA!
The group laughs as Haven just lets out a small chuckle as he doesn’t think it was that funny.
Fencer: Look, Haven. I’ll be frank with you. You are a local celebrity. Everyone at H.A. has been talking about you for the last year.
Haven: They have?
Fencer: Yes, they have. Just let this soak in your mind for a little bit, but I want you to think about becoming an official alumni sponsor of the T10 fraternity.
Haven: But, wouldn’t I have to be a member from when I was in college?
Fencer: No, my pal. We can always make a post-graduate induction.
Haven: Wow, I always wanted to join T10 back when I was here. I always heard the parties were awesome.
BADGER DAN: YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CLUE, BABY!
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The music is blaring as a horde of people are dancing in a large fraternity house. Multicolored lights are flashing everywhere as a DJ is set up on a small stage on the side of the house. We see several men in T10 jackets dancing with various girls. We also see Haven, who is being forced a drink by a girl dressed in green latex. She then proceeds to rub all over the belt on his waist. Haven is clearly drunk as he dances an awkward swagger. Despite being quite hammered, Haven has to double take the girl he is dancing with. He tries to speak loud enough over the music.
Haven: Wait, don’t I know you?!
The latex tight woman grinds up on Haven’s tag team belt. She doesn’t speak, but her face shows signs of drunkenness and perhaps a certain high on drugs. Suddenly, one of the guys from earlier that flipped UT’s table comes up and whispers in Haven’s ear.
Guy: Yo, bro. That is Green Bee. You know, the professor from Applied Sciences. Noice!
The guy pats Haven on the back sternly. Haven’s eyes get wide in response as he realizes one of his former professors is grinding on his belt. Haven looks up at the balcony where Fencer is peering down at the party. Haven raises his glass up towards Fencer and yells out.
Haven: THIS PARTY ROCKS!
Fencer raises his own glass in response of acknowledgement. Haven then proceeds to continue dancing with his former teacher. Fencer takes a sip of his drink as Badger Dan walks up behind him and looks down at Haven.
BADGER DAN: HE’S LOVIN IT, BABY!
Fencer just smiles as he takes another sip and peers over his cup to look down at Haven. His eyes glare with mystery. The screen goes black.
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The music fades out as we fade back in. Haven sits up as a rustling can be heard. He spots Green Bee gathering her belongings. She looks over to see Haven awake.
Haven: So, how would you grade me? Heh heh.
Green Bee smirks with arrogance.
Green Bee: Barely passing.
Green Bee flees out of the room with her things as Haven leans back in the bed.
Haven: So, just like all the other classes I took with you. Heh heh. Wait, what?
Haven sits up, but this time he sees Fencer, Badger Dan, and two others standing in the door way.
BADGER DAN: PROFESSOR GREEN BEE? NICE, BABY!
Guy: Noice!
Guy 2: NOIIIICE!
They all chuckle as Fencer proceeds to speak.
Fencer: How was it, Haven?
Haven leans back with a smile.
Haven: I mean, it was a little awkward seeing as it was my first time, but-
Fencer: I meant the party.
Haven sits up with a big smile.
Haven: Oh, it was awesome! When is the next one?!
Fencer: Haha, every night. We never close the doors here at T10. However, we do have a limit on our free trial.
Haven: Huh? Free trial.
Fencer: You see, we have a capacity amount we can only allow in here, so the list is very tight.
BADGER DAN: FIRE CODES, BABY. THE MAN KEEPING US DOWN.
Fencer: Right, but we do give special privilege to our members. They are guaranteed entry to each party.
Haven hesitates for a moment, but then speaks on impulse.
Haven: Well, then sign me up as a sponsor!
The guys in the doorway celebrate.
Fencer: Great! That’s awesome. However, there is one minor thing. Alumni or not, we do require a pledge from each new induction.
Haven: A pledge?
Fencer walks over to the bed and sits down.
Fencer: Yeah, and your pledge will be something simple.
BADGER DAN: WE’RE GONNA PRANK UT, BABY! OH, YEAH!
Haven’s smile turns to confusion.
Haven: Wait, why would you prank UT? I don’t know about this.
Fencer: Look, Haven. They’ve already pranked us. It’s just a retaliation prank. A harmless one between college rivals.
Haven hesitates some more. Fencer looks up at his boys, but then gets up from the bed.
Fencer: Look, we are meeting this Saturday at 2:00 A.M. outside of the UT house to execute it. It’s happening with or without you. Soak up the parties this week and then decide if you want to be a member have unlimited access. If so, show up and help us. Take the week to think about it, but let me just say that this offer is very exclusive. Come on boys, let’s go.
The boys head out as we see Haven contemplating in the bed. The scene fades out.
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We cut to a scene of Haven wearing thick sunglasses, covering his bloodshot eyes, as he sits outside with Hyada opposite of him at a small coffee shop. Haven looks over and sees Hyada frantically looking through a large book and jotting down notes. Haven breaks the silence as he stretches.
Haven: Gosh, I hate mornings.
Hyada looks up from his book with a “are you serious?” look.
Hyada: Haven, it is 2 in the afternoon. What have you been doing all week?
Haven wipes under his nose.
Haven: Nothing, bro. Just chillin with my homies.
Hyada stops and puts down his pencil.
Hyada: “Bro”? “Homies”? Who have you been hanging out with?
Haven snaps.
Haven: Look, Hyada. I wanted to come see you because I need advice. Let me just ask you this; If you had to do something bad, like really insignificantly bad, in order to gain a lot of good, would you do it?
Hyada: No, not at all.
Haven: But, what about the booze and latex?
Hyada: Huh?!
Haven: Look, this is exactly what I mean. I come to you for advice and you just give me riddles.
Hyada: What?! Are you an idiot? What are you talking about?
Haven stands up.
Hyada: Haven, where are you going?
Haven doesn’t respond.
Hyada: Look, I have to study, but our plane leaves tomorrow morning to head to our next location. We are going up against Blade & Mick Overlast. These two guys are not just two thrown together wrestlers. They have history together as a team. I looked it up during my study break. Ever heard of Sons of Destiny?
Haven retorts.
Haven: Ever heard of blah, blah blah?!
Hyada shoots Haven a very annoyed glare.
Hyada: Just promise me you’ll be there to get on the plane tomorrow morning. Once we start heading towards the venue, we will talk. For now, I just can’t take a break from this studying. Alright?
Haven: Fine. Check you later, bro.
Hyada rolls his eyes as the hungover, and possibly coked out, Haven walks off in anger.
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We cut to a shot of Fencer, Badger Dan, and two other guys from T10 on top of the UT Fraternity house. They are dressed in black sweats. A sky window covers the roof as one of the guys pops open the middle panel.
Fencer: Alright, now who is going down?
Haven: Need a hand?
Haven walks up to the group in his own black sweats, over his hero attire, and the WZCW Tag Team Title over his waist.
Fencer smiles as the rest of the group greets him with soft cheers.
BADGER DAN: I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T LET US DOWN, BABY!
Fencer: Badger Dan, quiet!
Badger Dan covers his mouth in an apologetic way.
Fencer: Good to see you, Haven. Want to do the honors of going down and setting off this stink bomb we constructed?
Badger Dan reaches in a backpack that he is wearing and pulls out a brown package.
Haven: Yeah, of course.
The group applauds his courage.
Fencer: Alright, put these special boots on. They’ll give you some bounce when we pull you back up.
Haven: Uh, okay.
Haven takes off his shoes and puts on the special boots. They then proceed to tie a rope around him. He gets ready to jump down with the stink bomb in hand. However, Fencer grabs his shoulder.
Fencer: Haven, want me to hold that for you?
Haven looks up and sees Fencer pointing. He is pointing at his championship belt.
Haven: Sure.
Haven unhooks his belt and hands it over to Fencer.
Haven: Thanks, Fencer.
Fencer: No problem, pal.
The group proceeds to lower Haven down into the UT house. As Haven gets to the ground, he hears a squish as his boots land on the floor. He finds this odd and tries to move his feet, but he is stuck. Haven wiggles around, but he can’t move. He looks up and is surprised to see the rope being thrown down. Haven yells up at T10.
Haven: Hey, what’s going on?!
Fencer yells down at Haven.
Fencer: Sorry, Haven. We decided you’re not really T10 material. Hey, but thanks for this, though.
Fencer holds up the sparkling WZCW Tag Team Championship.
Haven: You bastard!
BADGER DAN: T10 LOVES ITS TROPHIES, BABY!
The group laughs as Fencer winks at Haven.
Fencer: See ya, Haven.
They close the window panel as Haven wiggles around to get free.
Haven: Oh, gosh. Hyada is going to kill me. This can’t get any worse.
BOOOM!
The package Haven was holding blows up and he instantly gets tarred and feathered from the contents. Suddenly, the group of UT members from earlier come rushing in with the lights being turned on.
Grub: What’s going on?!
Firewire: We know how to fight!
Libro: Who is th- Oh, it’s Haven!
The group looks at the tarred and feathered Haven, who looks down in shame. However, his shame quickly turns into anger.
Tumbler: It was T10, wasn’t it?
Haven: How did you know?
Libro: You’re not the first one to get tarred and feathered.
Haven: They took my WZCW Tag Team Title too.
Firewire: Oh no, what are you going to do? You can't show up to your match against Blade & Overlast without your belt!
Haven wipes some feathers off his face.
Haven: I’m going to get it back, but for now I have to catch a plane. Do you guys have any cardboard and sharpies?
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The scene cuts to a shot of Hyada in a terminal. He is looking around for presumably his partner, and he finally catches some relief as he sees Haven running up. However, his relief is quickly turned into bewilderment. Haven runs up by picking feathers off his shoulder. However, Hyada’s biggest concern comes by looking at what is around Haven’s waist. It is a construction paper replica of a WZCW Tag Team Championship. Haven looks at Hyada’s face.
Haven: What?
Hyada: Just get on the plane. It’s too early to yell at you.
Haven walks past Hyada and heads for the check-in. Haven dawns a “I got away with it” face as Hyada walks behind him with his fingers pressing the inside parts of his eyes. The scene goes black.