And
time.
Drake Callahan collapses in exhaustion on a bench, resting a weight bar on the supports. He pants heavily, covered in sweat.
Not bad. Youre improving.
Hrrrrrrrrrng.
Joe raises an eyebrow in his direction.
You feel hurt?
Drake groans deeply again, but says:
No. Just
exhausted. Weve been at this for hours.
Joe shrugs his shoulders.
Oh. My mistake. I thought you wanted to win at Kingdom Come. Become a world champion, all that. I guess I was wrong about all that, hm?
Drake sighs and wipes his brow, struggling to lift his arms. With extraordinary effort, he sits upright on the bench.
You know that isnt true, Joe.
Really? Because youve been acting like it.
Its just
Just what? You want to go out drinking instead? You want to waste your life away in some bar?
That sounds lovely right about now, actually.
Joe smacks Drake in the back of the head.
Hey! I was just kidding
Im not. Are you serious about this or not?
You know I am. Its just
What? Its too hard?
Drake shakes his head.
No
its exhausting but its
its just not the way I did things before. I always went off drinking and partying and then just walked in and won, you know? I used to laugh and joke and mess around with Becky and that was enough. And now its training all the time, and thinking, and being professional, and
Im worried.
Joe chews on nothing for a moment, staring Drake dead in the eye.
So you think you had it right the first go around? The one that ended with you on the streets?
Drake runs his hand through his hair.
I dont know. This is how youre supposed to do it, I know that
but it just feels off.
Work that out on your own time. You want me here, or not?
Drake shrugs.
Yeah. I think this is right, Joe, I just need to
I dont know, think. Get drunk. Whatever.
Itd be useless to tell you I want you to cut that out, right?
Thats where I draw the line, Joe. Thats everything I am. Maybe things are different now, but a drinker is what I was, and what Im always going to be.
Joe looks like he wants to go on, but bites his tongue and shakes his head a little.
Whatever. It doesnt seem to be hindering your performance
that much, anyway. Maybe I can get you some sponsorships, or something. Ill think about it. Anyway. Were done here for today.
Really? I thought you wanted to go till four.
We are. Just not in the gym anymore. Ive gotten everything useful Im going to get out of you here. We worked your body out, time for the brain.
That sounds worse. Youre sure we cant go for a run? Lift boulders? Climb Mt. Everest?
You shouldn't be giving me ideas. But, no. Its time to think.
Joe curtly gestures for Drake to follow him into a small nearby room with a few chairs in it. He gestures for him to sit, and they both do so.
So. King for a Day.
He lifts a hand. As he counts off the names, he lowers his fingers one by one.
Rush. Baller. Tastic. Bomb. Constantine.
Drake nods solemnly. Joe turns his back to him and appears to think it over for a moment. Drake looks around for a moment, then subtly slips a flask out of a hidden pocket in his clothing. He unscrews the lid and takes a quick drink as Joe continues to stare at the wall.
What do you think?
I dont know. You tell me.
Joe continues to stare stoically.
Its going to be the most difficult match of my life, I know that.
Well, great job, sunshine, howd you work that one out?
Well, that degree from Princeford comes in handy every so often.
Princeford, eh?
The finest research university this side of New Connecticut.
The barest hint of a smile appears on Joes face, though he doesnt turn around.
You uh, went to school there, did you?
Oh, no, I just drank a lot there. Wound up with some guys diploma, though. Strange night, that was. Craziest party of my life. Giraffes, mangos, absinthe, all of them in places they certainly havent got any place being. I woke up three days later, clutching a diploma, sleeping under a newspaper in the park. I had a phone number on my arm, but when I called it, all I got was an Italian gentleman yelling into the phone.
Drake shrugs.
Anyway, Im a certified psychologist, and Ive got someones diploma to prove it.
He takes another deep drink from the flask and empties it. He pats down the rest of his body and turns up another one.
Alright, psychologist, so tell me: how do you read your competition?
Well, Rush kind of lost it last week. I think hes upset about, yknow, being so old.
Brilliant deduction, Doctor.
Oh, please, Joe, I never finished my PhD. It's my greatest regret.
Joe snorts and shakes his head.
Carry on.
Like I said, hes old, and hes had a heart attack, and uh, that probably means he isnt doing so hot in general. So hes angry. Problem is, hes also big, strong, and probably the most physically intimidating guy in the match. Hes got almost a foot and over a hundred pounds on me. So
I need to find a way to beat him.
Wear him out. Hes big, but hes not slow. Evade him, wear him out, get his heart pumping. Hell get gassed ,and you can move in. I want you try that this week. You have a rare opportunity here, getting to scope everyone out before things get serious.
Drake nods.
What about Baller?
Ballers arrogant. Uptight. Thinks too much of himself. Probably stems from a small
Whoa, there.
- a small family. What did you think I was going to say?
Uh, nothing.
So, it doesnt seem so tricky to me. I can outwrestle him and go toe to toe with him for agility. And Ive been bulking up in here, so
all I really need to do is get in his head a little bit, take him down, and hurt him.
Good. Good. Listen, though, dont show him the Last Call this week. It might be your only choice against Rush or Bomb, but Baller, you can take him out some other way. Dont give him a chance to scout you more than you have to.
Good idea.
Bomb, then?
Drake shrugs and sneaks another drink from the flask.
I got nothing on him.
Didnt you watch the tape I sent you?
I may have gotten distracted by the latest episode of My Little Pony.
You have got to be kidding me.
Listen, you laugh, but the mystery of Pinky Pies cake was VERY serious. The most compelling drama of the season. It deserves a Tony.
An Emmy?
That too! Im glad you understand.
Damn it, Drake. Bombs obvious, if you had just watched the damn tape. Cant handle agility. Go at him with your aerial moves and hes cake.
Drake rubs his chin. Seems too easy.
Watch the tape, and you can tell me. What about your partners? Tastic?
Complicated. He wrestles a lot like me, so
I dont know. We go in there classic style, see who the better man is. Itll probably help with this match, since we have a similar style.
He has a weakness. Cares too much about what people think of him. Always needs to be impressive, have the last laugh.
Joe turns around to catch Drake drinking deeply from the flask. He grins sheepishly and stashes it away, while Joe looks on disapprovingly.
Kind of like some other idiot I know.
So, uh, what about Constantine?
A control freak. King for a Day is going to be hell for him.
How do you figure?
Its six guys, flying around a cage together, all of them trying to sneak the pin in. Thats when you have to take him out when its chaotic. He wont have any idea what to do with himself. I guarantee it, hell try to isolate someone, focus on them, but hell get too wrapped up in them and you can take advantage. Probably with your favorite move.
The double reversed inverted 360 rotated inward flux gogoplata special?
What
I dont even
a roll up, you nitwit, a roll up.
Oh! Right, that too.
Drake beams and dusts his shoulder off.
I won a title with that move, you know.
The gogoplata special?
The what?
Never mind. This week, avoid Constantine. I dont want you working with him anymore than you have to. Hes going to be breaking you down, dissecting you with every chance he gets. Dont give him the chance.
Drake nods.
Well, thats about it.
One more man in the match.
Eh? Did they make it seven?
You, numbskull.
But
I want you to analyze yourself. Honestly.
Taken aback, Drake takes a moment.
Uh. Well, my primary weaknesses include my dashing good looks, my charming smile, and
A withering look from Joe stops Drake dead in his tracks.
Alright, alright. Im the smallest man in the match. You happy?
Good. Which means you need to turn that into an advantage. Fly around. Enjoy yourself. Dont get caught up in wrestling too much if you dont have to. Use it as a second option. Under no circumstances should you let yourself get trapped in a fist fight with someone too big for you, which is most everyone. Anything else?
Sometimes I see something shiny and I get distracted
Ive noticed. So focus, pay attention, and dont think about those damn ponies.
But Fluttershy is my spirit guide
Joe throws up his hands.
Alright, were done here, get out.
Drake smiles and leaps out of his chair.
Great. Im only 45 minutes late to meet Kate.