AS15: Pride of Toyota vs. Crash-Klinic

[Phoenix]

Crash-Klinic didn't have the best encounter against Heavy Artillery last week, but now they face some fresh competition against the returning Hunter Kravinoff and debutant Wasabi Toyota. Will the fresh new team make an impact or will the more experienced members of the roster show them that the Tag Division is no walk in the park?

Deadline is Tuesday 25th May 23:59 EST

 

[Coco]

Chicago, IL.

In the secluded woods behind Sal’s Pizza Shop, a great mass of flawless tanned flesh can be seen glistening in the summer moonlight. Jet black hair is tied in a ponytail which rests between the shoulder blades of the great naked mastodon who’s meditating peacefully in the calm dead of night, legs folded, wrists resting on his knees. Wasabi Toyota’s eyes are closed as he breathes in bliss and does his best to exhale the hardness brought on by his sordid past. Seemingly unbeknownst to the Matsumoto Mauler is the hooded figure emerging from the shadows behind him, dressed head to toe in black. The mysterious individual crouches behind Toyota and pulls back the hood to reveal Hunter Kravinoff. The man from Uganda has a look of admiration on his face as he leans in until he’s mere centimetres from the right side of Toyota’s neck. Kravinoff inhales deeply, enjoying the aroma he’s picking up.

Without opening his eyes, Toyota calmly makes an inquiry of the man behind him: Can I help you?

In one swift, agile motion, Kravinoff positions himself on one knee about a foot in front of Toyota. Toyota, still maintaining his state of calm, opens his eyes to see the always wired Kravinoff in front of him.

My body doesn’t make you uneasy?

Shame regarding one’s body is a societal affliction, one which I didn’t have the luxury of developing.

An awkward silence ensues as each man stares into the curious eyes of the other. Kravinoff then proceeds to look up and down Toyota.

Do you know how special you are?

Toyota blushes.

In what way?

Kravinoff spreads his arms and emphasizes his next three words very carefully. In every way.

He rests his arms and continues. Not only do you have the ability to impose your physical dominance on any living creature that should cross paths with you, but you also have the cognitive ability to make intelligent decisions in your quest to do so. You may take that for granted, but you have no idea how truly blessed it makes you.

Silence ensues once more.

Breathing heavily, Toyota says, I should probably put a towel on.

You didn’t feel uncomfortable in your skin during your interview with Kensworth last week. What’s different now?

I don’t know.

At this point, Toyota is clearly flustered as he rushes to grab the towel he left hanging on a nearby tree. He wraps it on the lower half of his body and takes a seat on a tree stump as Kravinoff sets himself once more on a single knee in front of the big man.

Perhaps it’s because Kensworth didn’t see you like I do. For the first time, I’m making you truly feel naked. I see inside of you, Wasabi Toyota. With the wealth of experience I have, I can understand you. Kensworth couldn’t possibly do the same.

Toyota blushes more deeply than before and crosses his arms over his breasts.

Can I tell you a story, Wasabi?

Sure.

In my formative years, I found myself roaming the plains in Africa where I came for the first time upon a beast of gargantuan proportions the likes of which I was unaccustomed to seeing. In terms you’d understand, I’d discovered the wonder of nature that is the elephant. Although the pride of apes who’d raised me had instilled in me the confidence to believe communicating intelligently with any animal was a goal well within my reach, I was about to learn otherwise. For hours at a time, I would pet this elephant’s trunk and grind against its leg as a sign of friendship. In return for my affectionate offering, I demanded, in the primitive grunts which comprised my communication skills at the time, that the elephant help me hunt a nearby pack of zebras. Not only did the elephant not acknowledge my order, it almost stepped on me several times. It had the brain of a worm rather than one becoming of a creature of its considerable stature.

Why are you telling me this?

I’ve approached WZCW management about entering the tag division and I want you to be my partner. Even though I've gone on to wipe out many a pack of zebras single handily, I’m still keen on the idea of aligning myself with a mastodon. The notion has consumed me for years. Now, I've found someone worthy of entering into such a relationship with. You have the mental prowess to make our partnership work in a way I could never make a partnership with an actual elephant function. I’ve already got a match set for us at Ascension against Crash-Klinic. I just need you to sign on the dotted line. Are you in?

What’s in it for me? I mean I know you’ll enjoy playing out a childhood fantasy that the jungle wouldn’t let you fulfill, but why approach me specifically?

Because last week on Meltdown, I saw something in you. I saw that craving for justice. You yearn for it...

Toyota’s look becomes one of absolute seriousness. Almost intensity. From under his breath, Justice...

You crave it...

Justice. Toyota said it much louder this time.

And in the tag division, you serve up justice to two people at a time.

Toyota then threw his arms in the air and let out a primal yes: JUUUUUUSSSTTTIIIICCEE!!

Kravinoff grins widely. You know it, buddy.

Toyota points at Kravinoff. I’m in!

Great. I’ve beaten Crashin before, so we should have no problem there. I’ve only got another 550 lbs of humanity with me this time to make sure he gets even more... justice.

Toyota licks his lips in anticipation.

Kurtesy is a man I’ve been waiting for a shot at for a loooooong time. The man flaunts his status as a psychiatrist like it’s something to be proud of, almost has though he thinks pandering to the weak minded and those with a case of blues is really worthwhile work. I'll admit that the man's gone farther with a B.A. than I would have imagined possible, but the man is still soft. While he was listening to lectures about Carl Rogers and empathy, I was stomping out my feelings so I could live to see tomorrow. Kurtesy has no idea what a true survival instinct looks like, but at Ascension, I’ll let him see mine first hand.

Who’s Carl Rogers?

One of the founders of the humanistic branch of psychology.

Why do you know that, Tarzan?

The awkward silence from the beginning of their interaction resumed once more.

I’ll see you at Ascension.

Yeah, see --

Before Toyota could finish that thought, Kravinoff had turned on his heel and run into the woods, back into the darkness from which he emerged. Toyota looked contemplatively into the night before turning back towards Sal’s Pizza Shop.

 

[Viola Moonlight]

In a darkened corner of his office, Steven Kurtesy sits emotionless on the corner equipping a bottle of Jack, business suit untidy. He brings his old friend to his lips... the warm soothing liquid comforting him, reminding him of better times...

...Teach is back up on his feet. He spots the situation Garth is in and climbs up the turnbuckle and hits the Avalanche Landslide on him. He goes for the cover as Phoenix runs in but Kurtesy takes him out, 1…….2……3

Anderson: Here are your winners and NEW WZCW Tag Team Champions, William Teach and Steven Kurtesy!

Cohen: No! What the hell just happened?!

Connor: We have new tag team champions, Jack. William Teach has beaten Second Coming for a second time and this one has awarded him with tag team gold with his debuting partner Steve Kurtesy!

Cohen: This can’t be happening! Why Teach? Why him of all people?!

Teach and Kurtesy embrace each other in celebration as Phoenix looks livid at the site of his knocked out partner being pinned. The ref gives the tag title belts over to the new champions who raise the belts high as the crowd starts chanting “Teach Us!”

Cohen: No, not that flaming chant again!

Phoenix stands outside with his hands on his hips, not sure what to make of the situation, he goes over and checks on Garth who’s still unaware of what has just occurred. Teach and Kurtesy leave and head up the ramp, celebrating with their belts held up...

The eyes of Steven become bloodshot with seething anger. Out of nowhere, Steven throws the bottle with all the strength he can muster at the wall, shattering the glass into millions of pieces. Kurtesy, overwhelmed with emotions, still remains exceptionally calm.

Kurtesy: My career is as broken as that bottle with pieces of my dream to reign atop the tag team division in shards.

Steven looks up to his desk where a figure is sitting in his chair observing him and writing down notes. The chair spins around to directly face Steven, with enough light cast upon the face to reveal it being Sandy Deserts.

Deserts: Hmmm, I see... and how does that make you feel?

Kurtesy smirks at the apparent role reversal.

Kurtesy: Irrelevant.... unable... inept... and it sickens me. There was a time when everything I did was watched by all the WZCW Universe with awe and anticipation. They were in full support of everything I said, everything I did. Wrestlers would not dare enter the tag team division because they were scared of what I would bring to the table...

Steven bows his head and closes his eyes, remaining freakishly calm and still.

Kurtesy: But William Teach forsaken me and what we accomplished together... I was forced to find another to follow my passions for the division. The only choice was Doug Crashin, and I had to begin the negotiations by saving him from being fired. Am I that resistible?

Sandy looks up and stops writing her notes as she is posed a difficult rhetorical question. Steven looks up too, but towards the window of his office emitting his reflection.

Kurtesy: Look at me... look where I am... confessing my sorrows over an addiction I thought I cured by suppressing my memories... and wrestling against an Ugandan baboon and a Japanese rookie whose weight indicates a previous career in pizza-eating contests. How am I supposed to be taken seriously in this match? C'mon, have you even pronounced their names and took a look at them? The epitome of stereotypes. I have the ability to outwit Hunter in the psychology warfare buried six feet under and I have the knowledge to understand that even though Toyota maybe built like one, he's got no gas tank...

If I win, who cares? Beat a team that has never teamed before... that'll ensure my spot as number one contender. If I lose, further embarrassment that is my current career. I'd set a new standard for the lowest credibility rating that this company has ever seen.

Concerned, Deserts gets up from her chair and takes a seat beside Kurtesy on the floor. Steven draws his attention elsewhere as Deserts places a hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him.

Deserts: I know its hard when you hit a low point in your wrestling career, I've been there too. That low point has stopped me from entering the ring forever, even though I desire to get back in there so much. That's just life Kurtesy, it's unfair.

Sometimes, you have to take a step back from reality and re-assess your goals... re-assess yourself. This course that's being run could just be a spout of unluckiness for you. You could ride the storm out and wait to see what's on the other side with Doug Crashin... or you could go back to the drawing board and start all over. The skills you possess are good enough for you to try it on your own... to go solo... and I'd be there by your side every step of the way to help guide you.

An awkward silence engulfs the room, as both think about what Sandy said. Eventually, Sandy gets up and walks to the door to exit the room, leaving Steven in a pool of his own thoughts. As he begins to focus, Sandy whistles at Steven as she opens the door. She forms her hands to make the love heart symbol to Kurtesy. A little shocked, Steven smiles and slightly nods at Sandy, acknowledging her.

Deserts: Just think about what I said Steven...

Sandy exits the room and closes the door behind her, smiling brightly... something she wishes she could say the same about her doctor.

 

[gd]

Wasabi Toyota seems somewhat uncomfortable and unsure as he drops his towel and goes back to meditating. He assumes the position and closes his eyes for a few moments, but he quickly gets up, unable to concentrate. Toyota picks up a tape recorder from a table to his left and takes a seat in an enormous, blue beanbag chair. He takes a deep breath, turns on the tape recorder, and begins to speak into it.

Part 2 of the Toyota Memoirs. I've just made what is likely going to be a career altering decision. I know all I've been preaching is how much I hate all those evil bastards, especially the commie ones, but I think I've just formed a partnership with one of them, Kravinoff. I am completely and utterly offended by the man. I hate how he shows no mercy for the innocent. How he takes pleasure in inflicting pain on others. How he doesn't have a reason to fight; he just does it for his own personal pleasure. It's simply disgusting.

Toyota turns his head and gags for amount, before regaining his focus.

This obviously brings the question, why would I team with this man? Why would I form a bond with someone who I despise so much. Someone who goes against everything I believe in? It's simple, really. You don't always have to put an animal down to quell his mean streak. Like I said when I first set out on this journey, I'm here to make a difference. I may be a wrestler, but all I really want to do is bring peace. My original goal was too big. I couldn't change the whole world, or even WZCW, at once. And I certainly couldn't do it alone. Kravinoff is the first step. I show him how dangerous his actions can be and I show him peace. I teach him my Buddhist principles. Once I'm able to get his life heading in the right direction, we got out together to work on the rest of the world. That's the reason I'm pairing up with Kravinoff. At least that's what I'd like to believe.

Toyota stares off into space for a few moments, the anguish obvious on his face.

A small part of me worries about this decision. It seems far too familiar to another decision in my life, when I decided to join the Yazuka. At first, I thought it was a great idea. Ling-Ling and all the other guys just seemed so perfect for me. I convinced myself there was nothing wrong with what I was doing. I fabricated reasons for joining in my head. I pretended all of my killings were justified. But deep down, I knew what I was entirely in the wrong. I have that same kind of feeling now. I had high hopes coming into WZCW, but I lost my first two matches. Kravinoff has been a dominant force. Teaming with him just to help further his career is not right at all, and I know it. That's not what I believe in. Are my reasons for joining Kravinoff just, or have a reverted back to my old, demonic self? I do truly believe I'm doing this for the right reasons, but I just can't be sure, and that pains me.

As much as I'd like to, I can't worry about my decision anymore. Kravinoff and I have a match this week, so my mission must continue immediately. Neither Crashin nor Kurtsey are respectable men. They're willing to harm others for their own enjoyment, whether it be Kurtsey toying with one of his poor, disturbed, innocent patients or Crashin flaunting his wealth while so many in our world suffer. Somewhere inside, I'd like to believe good men exist inside these scoundrels. Perhaps they just need to be beaten out. In their current state, Crashin and Kurtsey are nothing more than destructive cowards. They're the type of people I won't stand for. I must deliver justice to them. For myself, for all of their victims, even for Kravinoff. This is a huge match for me. I need this.

Toyota once again looks toward the stares with a blank stare before turning off the tape recorder. I small tear can be seen running down his cheek as he sits, immersed in thought.

 

[One Punch Doug Crashin]

We find ourselves inside a bar in a suburb of New York City. The sun is just starting to set. The outside of the bar is situated between a traffic light and we can see cars going by every few seconds. A Metallic Silver Mercedes E65AMG and bullet black G-class Mercedes pulls up to the front of the bar. The doors open and out come Doug Crashin who is wearing a bright orange tuxedo complete with Top Hat and Cane. Jason who is wearing a black suit, Sandy Deserts who is wearing a red pantsuit, and Kurtesy who is wearing a grey suit. The rather large bouncer greets the four and opens the door. The inside of the bar is quite the display. We have a DJ booth on the left side, the dance floor/stage in the middle. Restaurant tables that on each side of the dance floor. The bouncer comes back inside and walks to the four.

Bouncer: right on time Mr. Crashin. The bar’s been open for a few hours now. It’s actually good that you came now. There’s a party coming tonight.

Doug: Thank you very much my good man. You’ve always been a big help.

Kurtesy: Interesting place you got here Doug. Do you care to tell me why you brought us here?

Doug: Eh I just felt like we needed a break from all the training we do. Oh and by the way, this is the bar where I got my boy Jason here from.

Kurtesy: Really?

Jason: Yessir, was working as the head bouncer here before working as Doug’s personal assistant.

Doug: and this is a very high end classy place. Come, round is on me. *yells to the bar regulars* THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO! *they cheer* Hey Jerry?
Jerry the bartender: Yessir?

Doug walks over to the bar and sits down on the stool.

Doug: Scotch on the rocks my friend.

They drink for a few hours.

Doug *a little buzzed*: And so this guy then comes up to me after a show and starts to trash talk me. ME! Missher Incredible. I then punch the idiot in the face and send him flying 5 feet.

Kurtesy: HAHAHAHAHA! Oh that’s funny.

Doug: And the best part of this story is I never got sued!

Kurtesty looks at his watch

Kurtesy: Doug we need to go. Jason please carry him to the car.

Jason picks him up in a firemans carry and walk out the door to the cars.

Doug: did I tell you how much I loved you two?

Jason facepalms: if you throw up in the back seat I’m going to kill you.

The scene fades to black.