AS 122 - Matt Tastic versus Batti

[Da Prophet]

It’s been nearly two years since Matt Tastic held a championship while in WZCW. The last time he challenged for a title was a year ago at Unscripted ’16. The Hall of Fame wrestler gets a long overdue chance to add to his already impressive collection of achievements this Sunday when he faces Callie Clark for the Elite Openweight Championship. The champion has taken the round off but there is no rest for the number one contender. This week, Tastic faces the former Elite Openweight Champion in preparation. Will the new attitude of Matt Tastic show through this week against the loveable Batti? It’s been a rough week for Batti after being forced to fight her friend Tyrone Blades. She has earned a match against the Queen for a Day at Unscripted, an honour many believe Batti had in the bag until the final seconds of the KFAD match. Can Batti defeat a second Hall of Famer two weeks in a row and put some fear in the heart of Kagura?

RP Deadline Tuesday 24th October 23:59 (Central).

Extensions available upon request.

 

[Spidey Revivey]

Oh, hello there. Didn't see you scrolling down. As you can plainly see, I am a teddy bear. I'm not just any run-of-the-mill Teddy Ruxpin "stick a disk up my ass and I'll read to ya" Care Bear, though. No sir. I'm real, and I belong to the sweetest, most precocious legal aged chick you could meet. Ask Tyrone Blades.

I suppose since you're here I should tell you a story. If you have the time, pop a squat and set your mind at ease for a moment. I'm gonna need you to suspend your disbelief a bit due to the fact that you are listening to a plushie...who sounds like Patrick Stewart. Oh yeah, I'm Patrick Stewarting this up from now on. Made it so.

It all started at the Pepsi Cola factory. Why is this important? Well, two reasons:

• That was where I was made.
• Pepsi Cola is far superior to Coca Cola.

I was a prize for the contestant who could drink the most Wild Cherry Pepsi on Pepsi's grand stage area right across from the lobby. A school was touring that day, and even though Beatrice Otaku forged her mom's signature to ride the bus (excellent penmanship, btdubbs), Mrs. Fishstick, on-duty teacher who could tell the difference between a child's writing and an adult's, didn't care. She had stopped giving a shit a year close to retirement, as teachers often do. So little Batti Otaku boarded the bus, entered the contest, and drank herself into a sugary bender.

A Note For The Reader: Even though Pepsi is quite easily the best beverage one could digest, it is normally frowned upon to take in excessive amounts. That goes with anything, really. But I digress. Drink fair portions of Pepsi, friend. Or Mountain Dew. Or Mug even. But I advise not touching that mercury drymouth bullshit you would find Santa guzzling in those outdated white people commercials. Oh, don't get on to me for racism! You've seen what they're doing to the polar bears...some shuck and jive bullshit...

Now at that time Batti never watched anime. She was average, which as we all know is the worst thing a character from a wrestling roleplay can be. But when her lips touched that syrupy nectar of the gods, she became anime. Sailor Moon. Death Note. Full Metal Alchemist. Fairy Tail. You know, things that are good.

A Note For The Reader: Even though anime like Death Note is quite easily the best Japanese cartoon of all time, it is normally frowned upon to turn fiction into reality. Keeping a Death Note in a school locker is a big No-No. Dressing up like an emo on PCP is a No-No. I advise not imitating cartoons, or you'll wind up wearing a useless Dragon Ball Z scouter to a wrestling ring. Or naming a signature move after a Space Western that's not as cool as Cowboy Bebop. Or even Trigun.

I sat on a little podium, and even though it was pretty evident who won that day, she snatched me up before they announced her as the winner. The podium crashed to the ground and the poor girl had to be escorted out of the factory after that. Still under the influence, Batti found herself on top of the school bus.

She swung me around and hugged me. I never felt so alive. Her vibrancy washed over my stitched face and it made me happy. Like genuinely happy. Do you have any idea what it's like for an inanimate object to feel? To gain sentience in a little girl's embrace? To look through beaded eyes and hear from fluffy ears the joys of adolescence? Well, if you do, you're fucking sick dude. Get help. I'm a toy.

Her juvenile eyes beamed. "I'm gonna call you Captain Claws. We are gonna be best friends. I don't have many friends, so we can spend a lot of time together! We'll stay up late. Drink Pepsi. Gush over Tenchi Muyo and maybe I'll show ya my fighting moves that someday might be beneficial to the profession I'm in." She giggled. "Maybe one day against somebody who loves anime and soda like I do, though I already know in my 11 year-old heart that their taste is gonna be trash."

This is the part of the story where we take a giant ass leap into time - a narrative device in television and movies to show how a character has progressed since then, or how they haven't at all. In this case, it's the latter.

Batti Otaku is still riding the sugar rush, still besties with yours truly, and still thinks someone out there should be introduced to the glories of a proper soft drink. Today she learns who that is by reading the match card for Ascension 122.

"Well I'll be darned. Another Hall of Famer."

She nibbled on her thumb as she read the bio blurb that explained how Matt Tastic was now the Number One Contender to Callie Clark's Elite Openweight Championship. She sighed, probably wishing it was her going in to Unscripted against Tastic. But she couldn't retain, and she lost her rematch. No excuses, she often said. The past few weeks she did all she could to build herself back up, and came close at the 10th Anniversary Show in cementing her spot at the top. True story. But Kagura came through, and again Batti came short.

But so close...so damn close, as anyone who watched the match knows. What if she fought Kagura...that'd be a culture clash for the ages, no? Sorta sexy too, hot Japanese women fighting for dominance in a sweaty sport? Practically gravure idols, those two. Knowimean?

Eh I'm getting off-track. Batti is facing Matt, not the geisha. Unless he comes to the ring in a geisha outfit. Who knows? Dude wears a mask now. Maybe he'll go all Kabuki. All I'm saying is don't judge him if he wears a dress, Dagger. We ogle men in speedos, y'know. Lol. Oh yeah. I subscribe to Wrestlezone too. Came for the Book This!, stayed for The Writing Gallery. But once again, I'm off-track.

"If I beat the contender to the Elite Openweight Championship, maybe that will prove I deserve a second chance at reclaiming the title. Or maybe I can move up to the Eurasian, and then maybe the World. Surely can seek an audience with the 1st Queen For A Day. Beating two Hall of Famers in a month has to be impressive, no matter who ya are. Hmm."

She reached into her mini-fridge and grabbed a Pepsi Wild Cherry. This is fascinating for three reasons:

• I'm using this as a callback device in storytelling. Symbolizes her childhood and how back in 2005 the delicious drink was called Wild Cherry Pepsi. Bear with me. It's nostalgic.
• Still a better beverage than the alternative.
• It was in that moment her ex-boyfriend knocked on her apartment door.

"Please open up," the assgoblin whined, "Just for a moment."

Batti ignored him, as women with brass often do in these circumstances. I never understood what she saw in him. And how do you even pronounce his name? Rampart? Rampartẽh? Ram Party? What a gaggle of fuckwits his parents must have been.

My owner opened the can loudly and took a swig. Her eyes became dilated; her lips quivered. This was her drug. Sure, she'd smoke a little weed now and then, maybe do some iDosing or drink the occasional Chocolatini, but her true vice was Pepsi, particularly cherry flavored. She once tried a Cherry Coke and was sick for two days. Just par for the course when drinking sludge, really. Do you know you can use Coke to clean your toilet bowl? Google it.

He was still hammering on the door like some paraplegic drunk. Batti took out a VHS copy of Home Alone and slid it into her vintage VCR that she kept for inexplicable reasons. She found her tv remote and raised the volume up quite loudly.

It wasn't about Ramparte anymore. It wasn't even about Tyrone Blades at the moment. It was all about her and Matt Tastic, the wrestling veteran still out to prove himself. She held me under her arm as she played the previews.

She found herself talking to me the way she did when she was 11.

"I have my work cut out for me, but I'm young and hungry. What is Tastic-sama besides another man who feels he's owed something? The fans don't need another disgruntled old timer hogging the spotlight. They need something new. Something fun. Something Millennial. Kawaii. A E S T H E T I C."

She gave me a kiss on the top of my head. I suppose this is as good of a time as any to end my little story. Doubt we'll talk much in the future, as whimsical characters do tend to have a shelf-life. Things will get a bit more serious in the next RP, I guarantee you that much. For now, it's your ol' friend Captain Claws signing off and leaving you with the wide-eyed youngster, hot and ready to take the wrestling world by storm and bring in an era of pastels, unicorns, beach balls, and bakka bitches.

The Choice Of A New Generation, indeed.

[youtube]VIdcglNAEWU[/youtube]​

 

[ABMorales787]

Beard catches his breath, and follows his opponent to the outside. He nails Matt in the back with a forearm smash, before pulling him to his feet and sending him crashing back first into the barricade. Tastic sits stunned as Beard measures him. With a primal yell, he runs and smashes the smaller man with a running cannonball senton. The barricade breaks! The crowd begins to chant, showing their appreciation for the spot. Beard stumbles to his feet, and slowly pulls Matt to his. He grabs the smaller man and drives him backwards against the ring apron, before slamming him face first against the announcers table. He stops and slides back into the ring to reset the referees count. He grabs Tastic in a headlock position, and tries to suplex him on the outside, but Matt blocks by using his legs, before countering and taking out Beard at the knee. The big man cries out in pain before Matt floors him with a kick to the head. He slides back into the ring. He eyes the big man on the outside, before bouncing off the opposite side of the ring, and launching himself through the middle ropes with a tope suicida. The maneuver drives Beard backwards, sending him crashing against the announce table. His size and weight works against him as he can’t stop his momentum as he flips over the table, sending the commentators running from their seats.

Copeland: What a move by Matt Tastic! Beard couldn’t stop himself, and he flipped right over the table.

Cohen: The veteran instincts of Tastic taking over. He bet on the house earlier and lost, but he played his cards right this time.

The difference between a veteran and a rookie in the world of professional wrestling comes down to one thing. In the heat of the moment, as you battle, hitting each other with everything you have. As you toss each other around with all the brute force your body can muster, veterans always know what surrounds them and can keep their calm and know when to take advantage of a moment.

Matt eyes Callie Clark out of the corner of his eye. On top of having to damn near beat the Beard towards an inch of his life, he’s stuck having to listen to her catty attitude the whole time. She dares him to do something, and he responds by shooting a derogatory insult at her, which greatly annoys her.

Matt:Bi-hi-hi-hitch!

Callie: How dare you call me a bitch!

While rookies act on impulse and simply react to what's happening. Not thinking about the consequences of their actions.

Matt slides back into the ring as the referee continues to count….

3…

4…

5…

Beard stirs and slowly gets to his feet. He holds his back and starts to move forward. Matt watches in disbelief and grabs a steel chair out of the corner of his eye. He holds it up and brandishes it, begging Beard to reenter the ring.

7…

8…

9…

He rolls back into the ring, barely beating the count. Tastic is waiting for him. He smashes the chair over Beards leg. The big man screams in pain. He continues the assault, hitting Beard over and over again, taking out all his frustrations on the big man. Satisfied, he drags Beard towards the turnbuckle and quickly scales it. Standing on top, Matt takes a deep breath and jumps, nailing Beard with the Frog Splash! He makes the cover…

1…

2…

3…!

Copeland: Tastic gave Beard a brutal beating at the end there. Beard did all he could to save himself a count out loss.

Cohen: Maybe that would have been better than the alternative, Seabass. Both men had something to prove here tonight. I guess Matt made his louder and clearer.

Matt Tastic stands. He’s disinterested in the crowd, his music, or the referee, who raises his hand. Callie approaches the ring apron, and calls him a coward for his assault on Beard with the chair at the end of the match. Offended, Matt dares her to say that to his face. Callie slides into the ring and slings the Elite Openweight title around her shoulder. Matt gets in her face. She rears back and suddenly slaps him, leaving him stunned. She slides under the ropes, and eyes him as she leaves. She screams, “you’re a coward!” one last time as she walks up the ramp.

She called me a coward. What is a coward? A person who lacks the courage to face adversity. A rather stupid thing to call such a mayor rags to riches case such as myself, but that just shows how ignorant and blind this girl is. I do not discriminate but I never really targeted her. She was stupid enough to wave that Championship she holds across my face. And soon enough, it will be mine. But it seems my move had an unexpected side effect. I'm facing a bubbly, seemingly ignorant girl before I can face the bubbly, seemingly ignorant girl that holds a title. I'm fine with it. It's quite amazing how despite having so many one on one matches through my career, rematches are pretty rare. It's a funny business.

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I was called into the office of Chuck Myles following my match. I didn't know why at first. I just assumed it would be for yelling about something.

Myles: Mr. Tastic, we need to talk.

Matt: "We" implies I have something to say. Truth be told, I don't.

Myles: I say "we" because I expect witty retorts from you. I do not appreciate you saying "bitch" on TV and us having to censor it.

Matt: That's an issue? But the rampant violence and destruction is fine? You're kidding me, right? We had a guys strapped to a stretcher being thrown, Banks yells at the locker room, cars destruyed, but oh boy. I said "bitch". Hold the phone, brother.

Myles: I told you.

Myles stands up and sits on his desk, next to Matt who stands in front.

Myles: Listen, I didn't call you here to nag you about something dumb, but it's a rule so at least I had to call you out on it. I had you here for some good news.

Matt decides to sit on the desk, parallel to Myles who just turns to Matt with a confused look. Matt shoots him a trollish smile.

Matt: Go on. You owe me something.

Myles: Well, given your recent string of victories and your unexpected run in with Callie Clark, we felt it was in our best interest to grant you a match with Clark at Unscripted for the Elite Openweight Championship.

Matt goes from a trollish face to an arrogant smile. Finally, he's got what he wanted.

Matt: Wonderous. I'm outta here. I got what I want. Thank you very much, Mr. Myles. I greatly appreciate it. I expect a really nice bonus once I win that title. Bye now.

Matt backs away from the desk and tries to leave but Myles gets off too and calls Matt back.

Myles: Wait, wait. I have something else to tell you.

Matt stops and waits for Myles.

Matt: Well, what? Callie will not be here next week. But you will. We have set up a tune up match for you. You will be facing the former Champion, Batti. Try not to lose.

Matt looks on. He expects more from Myles. But doesn't get it.

Matt: .......ok? Anything else?

Myles: I think there's an interview for you. Ask Stacey tomorrow at Ascension or something. She wasn't very clear.

Matt: 'K.

We transition to the backstage area where Stacey Madison is standing by with the reigning Elite Openweight Champion, Callie Clark. Clark is taking up most of the camera shot and forcing Stacy as far left as she possibly can without actively shoving her to the side with full force.

Madison: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my guest – Callie Clark!

Clark: Uh, that would be the reigning WZCW Elite Openweight Champion, the most fabulous, most followed on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter out of the entire roster and the highest rated on the WZCW Wiki – Callie Clark. Geez, do I have to do your job for you also?

Stacey’s stare could kill, it’s ice cold, nevertheless she proceeds.

Madison: The world has been wondering since last night, why did you slap Matt Tastic?

Clark: That washed up loser, he is nothing more than a disgusting rat of the very division that caused the end of my sister’s wrestling career. A promising career cut short because of the Mayhem division and Matt Tastic, that sicko is someone who thrives off that environment. I saw it on Meltdown, I saw the devastation that took place and it made me sick to my stomach. I slapped him to remind Matt of his place in this company now. He is no longer the king of the Mayhem division, he isn’t winning titles, in fact he isn’t even close to even challenging for one.

Callie glances at her title belt.

Clark: I showed up on Meltdown to let the world know that the real stars are on Ascension. I carry the flag for this brand and Meltdown is nothing but a second-rate product so long as I reside on Ascension. I saw how barbaric they had to get last night to draw in a few viewers, Matt Tastic thrived in it and that’s utterly pathetic. I’ve spoken to Mr. Banks and put forward the idea that all Mayhem Rules matches be banned forever, in the best interest of myself and my fellow wrestlers.

Huge boos from the crowd as Callie smirks, it quickly fades as Matt Tastic steps into the shot.

Tastic: Shut the hell up.

Clark: What? You can’t talk to me like that! I’m the champion, this is my show.

Tastic: I don’t know who whines more, you or some of these smarks who chase me around at three in the morning at airports. Look, my head freaking hurts right now. I’ve had three coffees this morning alone and apparently, I’ve still got kidney stones to pass.

Madison: Kidney stones…

Tastic: It’s a long story, Stacey. Listen up kid, I’m not here to chat with you or offer advice. I don’t give a shit about what you dress up like or how many idiots follow you on the internet. You act like you’ve been here for years but you have barely had enough time to wet yourself. In that ring, I’ve lost more blood than flows through your entire body right now. I’ve got the scars to prove it!

Matt steps closer to Clark who looks a little freaked out.

Tastic: You did say one thing that was right, the mayhem division is my past. You know what is my future? That title belt on your shoulder, Callie. Washed up, am I? Three straight wins say otherwise and so does the general manager of YOUR show.

Clark: No, that can’t be right. You don’t deserve to be in the ring with you. People like you don’t get to share the ring with me!

Tastic: We’re going to be sharing the ring and the Elite Openweight Championship will be on the line whether you like it or not. At Unscripted, it’s you versus me and we’ll find out just how good you truly are.

Shocked by the revelation that Matt Tastic will challenge for the title at Unscripted, Clark storms out of the interview area and can be heard shouting the name of the general manager.

Connor: Breaking news, Matt Tastic has been named as the number one contender for the Elite Openweight Championship and will face Callie Clark for the title at Unscripted. What a turn of events we have seen.

Cohen: Three straight wins will get you into the thick of things and Tastic has seized his opportunity with both hands. It’s been a year since Tastic challenged for a title, the last time being Unscripted 2016 where he failed to capture the World Heavyweight Championship. He has lost matches at the last two Unscripted events and will surely want to put that streak to bed.

Connor: Regardless of that, ladies and gentlemen, big things are shaking here tonight. And now it is time to see another superstar who has recently returned. Our next match is upon us.

Following that bit, Callie leaves and Matt stands there proudly. Stacey pulls him over, mic still in hand.

Stacey: What the hell are you doing?! You couldn't tell me about that match so I could break the news? I would look like a great reporter.
Matt: ......Stacey, I don't know how to tell you this, but what the fuck would be the point of you breaking the news instead? There's a grand total of two of you and the other one doesn't have Tatty Bojangles. I think you'll be fine. Also, for the record, I couldn't give a damn about Mayhem Rules matches. I win them clean, I win the dirty. It's irrelevant to me.

The cameraman pulls Stacey in and talks to her as Matt crosses his arms and looks on.

Matt: Is he correcting you? Does Kensworth actually have boobs and we didn't know?

Stacey: Shut up. 3.... 2... 1. This is Stacey Madison with a special interview with the new #1 Contender to the Elite-

Matt: What the fuck?

Stacey: -Openweight Championship, Matt Tastic. Matt. You have been on a very refreshing streak of victories recently and now you have a big opportunity at Unscripted. But what's got you on this streak has been a recent change of attitude. May I ask what spurred this change?

Matt: I'm not having any of this, Stacey. I haven't changed attitude. I changed my focus. That's it.

Stacey: OK. What spurred you to insult Callie Clark at Meltdown then?

Matt: What the hell was she even doing there? "Checking Meltdown out"? What, she couldn't find a TV? She stuck her nose and I want gold, so I went after her. That's all there is to it. Are we done here? I'm out.

Stacey: No, wait!

Matt: Again with this. Now what?

Stacey: I have just been informed that you will be facing the former Elite Openweight Champion Batti at Ascension 122. Do you have any words about that?

Matt: *sigh* I knew that already. Here's the thing. Batti is a sweet girl. But just like Callie, she's ignorant. This is a girl who is constantly looking for an older man to cling to in some fashion. I don't want to make a dirty joke about that, but it writes itself. She's so attached to Ramparte. It reminds me of myself and Mikey who retired yesterday. Now I love Mikey to death. But focusing on him led me to lose in the Gold Rush and to lose to Mark Keaton. Batti is going nowhere as long as she spends her time clinging to Ramparty-sempai, Ty-dono and Saxton-sensei. Yeah, I know my Japanese honorifics. I used to be an anime enthusiast. But just like how I moved away from Mayhem, I moved away from that. If Batti wants to break out, I suggest she puts down the shitty kawaii waifu act. Because it's getting her nowhere and your waifu is trash, anyway.

Matt leaves and Stacey stands looking on.

Stacey: All those references just went over my head.