In a hotel corridor in a nondescript travel tavern. Backstage Bob is nervously looking around the corridor. He has a small piece of paper which he is comparing with each of the doors in the corridor. He peers at the paper and then finally comes to a stop at room 453.
He knocks.
No reply. A sigh from Bob.
He knocks again.
Still nothing, another sigh.
A final knock.
Bob: At least I tried, nobody can tell me off for this.
He turns to walk away, but as he does so the bolt on the door makes a sound. The door opens slowly, with a purpose to reveal Garth Black wearing a hotel dressing gown and the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship. Bob's face drops and he turns back to black.
Black: Can I help you, Bob?
Bob: Err.. Well, yeah. I've been sent to collect the WZCW Championship.
Black: And how does that affect me?
Bob's ashen face stared back at him with increasing pallor. He took a big gulp and continued.
Bob: Well, you're wearing it.
Black: Right.
Bob: And I need to take it back to Mr. Cooper for a photo shoot.
Black: Ok.
Bob: So can I have it?
Black: No.
Black slams the door in Bob's face. Bob knocks again, but there is no response. Bob pulls out his Nokia 3310 and dials the WZCW head office.
Bob: He said no....
What do you mean can I just take it?
Of course, Miss Serra.
I know, yeah.
Well can't you come down yourself then?
I know you're busy, he's just obviously not going to listen to me. He doesn't respect anyone.
I guess maybe Klamor?
Alright, I guess I'll try Jonny out.
Bob puts the phone down. He then dials Jonny Klamor's number.
Bob: Jonny?
It's Bob here.
No, Bob.
Bob, I've worked with you for 25 years, Jonny.
Yes, that's me.
No, I didn't enjoy it at all. Anyway, Miss Serra thinks you might be able to talk some sense into Garth Black. He's taken the World Heavyweight Championship and won't take it back.
Well, he seems to respect you more than the rest of us. Which isn't really saying much.
Ok, I'm at Hotel Travelado, fourth floor. See you in a bit.
Bob stared at the pictures in the corridor for two and a half hours until Klamor arrived. When he did, he showed him to the Garth's room.
They knocked
Black: Mmwmmwmmwww Wmmmmmwws wmwmw
Bob: I can't hear you through the door, you'll have to open it.
Garth swings open the door wearing a Titus Avison "Not My Champion" t-shirt, a pair of Bermuda shorts and the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship.
Black: I said, go away Bob, I'm not going to give you the title, oh hi Jonny.
Klamor: Hi Garth. Listen, I know that some things have seemed a little off to you recently, but you've already got the opportunity to win this belt for real, there's no honour in keeping it illegally now. Let Bob take it back, it's unfair to Cooper.
Black: Let me tell you about unfair, Jon. Unfair is not getting a rematch. Unfair is having to cash in my number one contendership on a programme that hasn't been aired for about 3 years two days after a battle with Tyrone Blades at Kingdom Come. Unfair is having the referee get in my way when I was about to win.
Life isn't fair, and I've already said, if Cooper wants this title he can come and get it off me on Meltdown. It's as simple as that. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to the evening buffet. So if you could move out of the way, I'd appreciate it.
Black barges past them and walks down to the hotel restauraunt. Klamor looks aghast, but Bob already has his phone out.
Bob: Becky?
Yes, of course, sorry, Miss Serra.
He won't budge.
Yes, Mr. Klamor is here. But he wouldn't listen to him either.
You're going to have to come down here.
I don't think that's fair we tried our best.
My mother is very proud of me, as it happens.
No, I don't think she wishes that at all.
There's no reason to be so rude Be.. Miss Serra.
He's away eating at the minute, but I'm sure he'll be back here in a bit.
The next hour in the corridor consists of nothing but Bob's excruciating attempts to make small talk with Klamor, the only interlude being Garth Black, full of chicken goujons and vol-au-vents, barging back past them into his room.
Eventually, Becky Serra arrives. She knocks on the door loud and repeatedly, until eventually, Black emerges wearing a sleeping cap, a Penguin onesie and the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship.
Becky: I'm going to need you to return the belt to Justin Cooper, Garth.
Black: Look, like I said to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee here, you're not getting it back. If Cooper wants it, he can come and get it off me at Meltdown.
Becky: You aren't even scheduled for Meltdown this week, Garth.
Black: I never am. Look, you can tell Cooper that I'll be there, if he wants the title back.
Becky: When are you going to accept that you're not the champion anymore?
Black: When there's a champion worth having. Cooper is a sellout, and he didn't beat me in our match. Cooper is a loser. He lost to Vee ADZ last week who's career successes include losing mid card title matches and err.. well... err... oh yeah, people asking what the letters stand for.
I know you guys have put me against him this week, I guess to prove some sort of point or something, but it's not going to happen. I'll beat him, just like I beat everyone I get a fair fight against. This conversation is over. I'll see Cooper at Meltdown, and then I'll beat Vee ADZ at Ascension.
He slams the door in their face. Becky looks at the door for a while, regains her composure and leads Jonny and Bob to the lift.