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Armageddon 1999
Date: December 12, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 15, 749
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
First off, who in the fuck named that place? I get the whole naming it after the company but you couldn’t come up with ANYTHING better than that? Anyway, welcome to the last show of 1999 and of the 1900s in the WWF. Austin is gone and Big Show shocked the world as he won the world title at Survivor Series.
This show is famous for two things. First of all, Vince wrestles a 30 minute match. Second, there is something here that you’ll never see on a WWE show again. Other than that there isn’t much here but this is an historic show so let’s get to it!
The opening video more or less doesn’t exist. Ok then.
Tag Team Battle Royal
Dudleys, Godfather/Mark Henry, Headbangers, Edge/Christian, Hardy Boyz, Acolytes, Mean Street Posse, Too Cool.
The Dudleys are out first and yell at Edge and Christian. They all get in a fight before the rest are here. The last man standing wins a tag title shot at the Rumble for his team. The Hardys get a big pop. Terri is with them and is ****ty and undesirable as ever. I love the Posse. I always did. Too Cool gets a solid pop too.
Wow the entrances took awhile for this. It’s individual elimination mind you. Rodney is out. These are hard to call so I’ll more or less be waiting until the end of things. The third member of the Posse keeps going in to cheat. Ok apparently if one guy is eliminated the partner is too. Headbangers are out.
Henry and Godfather are out. Like I said there’s no way to talk about what’s going on here since everything is just a mess. Edge and Christian get both of Too Cool out. It’s Edge and Christian, Dudleys, Acolytes and Hardys. In other words, the four best teams are left. D-Von and Christian go through the ropes and fight on the floor. D-Von pulls Edge out so it’s down to three. There was an affinity for the DDT in this era.
Jeff gets a What’s Up before it was named. Jeff’s crotch is the Promised Land apparently. Jeff takes 3D on top of that but Matt puts the Dudleys out so it’s Hardys vs. Acolytes. Jeff is up after all that inside of a minute. Sure why not. Bradshaw and Matt go out at the same time so they just let us have the other two go at it instead. Bradshaw goes back in anyway so guess how this goes.
Not as you would expect actually as Jeff puts Farrooq out but it’s not seem. Ok never mind as Matt is allowed back in. This needs to end like now. And so it does as Farrooq LAUNCHES Jeff out to win.
Rating: D+. Fast paced but boring as are most battle royals. The constant cheating etc at the end just got annoying too. This wasn’t very good but the crowd popped for most of the entrances so there we are. Not terrible but nothing great at all as this could have easily been done on Smackdown or Raw.
Lillian is with Kurt. Both are incredibly young looking here. He talks about the match he and Blackman lost to the Dudleys, leading to this.
Steve Blackman vs. Kurt Angle
This is Angle’s second PPV match or so, so guess what’s going to happen. Oddly enough they say he’s a REAL athlete. Kind of an odd thing to hear in a kayfabe company. Steve’s music cuts off the Three I’s speech. After a fast start, Blackman misses a middle rope headbutt to give Angle control. Crowd is bordering on dead here.
Angle is REALLY green here. He busts out a perfect moonsault which to this day has never hit. In a cool moment, Blackman puts Angle in a bow and arrow and gets counted down for two. I never would have thought for that. What is with the amount of DDTs here and lately? That’s just odd as hell.
The fans think this is boring. And now they think Angle sucks. Well they’re into a boring match so that’s a good sign for Angle. Blackman misses a Vader Bomb and Angle gets two off of it. This is a really basic match but it’s not bad. Angle wins with a belly to back suplex of all things. Post match Blackman beats him up with his knunchucks.
Rating: B-. You have to consider that Angle was a total rookie at this point. By today’s standards, this is awful. For a guy that’s been there a little over a month, this was fine. Angle was getting experience here and it helped a lot for him. This was ok but nothing that special. Still though it’s fun to see him this new.
We see some chick getting dressed behind a screen. She’s very curvy so I’m betting on Mae. We see a clip of Moolah shoving Ivory into a pool on Heat. Back to the shadow chick and it’s BB. She was a nurse character who had big boobs and was boring as hell otherwise. Cole talks to her and can’t talk.
Greg Norman, a golfer, is here. Tiger wasn’t a big deal yet.
Women’s Title: Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. BB vs. Ivory
This is an evening gown in a pool match. Mae and Moolah are referees. OK that’s fine. If they want to be involved in a non wrestling role, great. Just keep them out of the ring. This was a big deal because Kitty doesn’t wear underwear. Seriously, who wants to see Jackie in her underwear? And people wonder why no one takes this company seriously.
The other three force Ivory into the pool. They’re just splashing water on each other. Jackie falls out of her top much to my pain. Yeah she’s out already. King of course is loving this. Ok so the attempted murder begins already. And BB is out. Ivory tries to get her top off and fails. Kat gets booed for stopping her.
And Kat performs a Greco Roman Zipper Lock as JR calls it to get the win and the title. Post match she says they made her wear underwear so she strips anyway, and for the first and more or less only time in WWF history, there is legit nudity as you see her boobs clearly. This was SHOCKING at the time and gives new meaning to the term Pay Per View. Slaughter runs out with a towel to cover her up. Mae takes her clothes off and Sarge does the same thing.
Rating: A+. Just for having the balls to do something like that. This was a very different era.
Rikishi and Viscera are fighting the Hollies. Rikishi is a total newcomer here who for some reason was made top heel in about 9 months. He’s still Rikishi Phatu here. He was a serious character here, so this was a decent promo.
Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly vs. Viscera/Rikishi
Simple idea here: two guys calling themselves super heavyweights vs. two super heavyweights.¬¬ He’s hanging out with Too Cool already but is still serious so it’s bearable. Rikishi is just killing them both here. Tag for Viscera and it’s the same result. This is as much of a squash as you could ever ask for.
They get Viscera down though so there you are. Damn Hardcore could throw a dropkick. Hardcore hits a DDT but since this is pro wrestling and he’s a Samoan, you can guess how effective that is. Anyway, the I guess faces double team and just massacre them as Rikishi hits his AWESOME over the shoulder piledriver.
When he was debuting, this guy was all kinds of awesome. And then Viscera accidentally kicks him in the back of the head and literally sits there and watches him get pinned. Rikishi is up a second later which looks stupid as hell. The big guys fight afterwards and of course the Samoan wins for a bit before the big pull apart.
Rating: C. Seriously, what did you expect here? Again, this was a way to get Rikishi some in ring time and that worked fine. The ending set up his first feud so that gave him something to do. Nothing wrong here but it could have been on TV somewhere. Hard to really complain though as it’s like 4 minutes long and not bad or anything.
So we’re 45 minutes into this and I don’t think the title match or the HHH vs. Vince match has been mentioned at all. That’s odd.
Lillian is with Val. That’s a nice combination as they’re likely the two people from this era that I wanted to see naked the most. He says he’ll win the European title and hits on Lillian in Spanish which I understood. Hey I took like 12 years of Spanish so I’m glad it worked to an extent.
European Title: British Bulldog vs. D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis
Bulldog is the champion here. Yeah he was so obsessed with the world title that once he realized no one cared anymore he settled for the European Title. The Posse is with him of all people. Brown and Venis are both good so maybe they can make the terrible Bulldog (at this point) look decent. Long throws the Posse out. Well you knew there would be one triple threat somewhere on there.
Brown busts out a Taker Dive to take both guys out. The more I see of him the more I like him. Oh and Val is a face now. This is your standard triple threat match, complete with all of the double teams and constant reminders that the champion doesn’t have to be pinned to lose the title.
Brown goes for what would have been a SWEET springboard DDT but he slips and Venis takes over. Bulldog lets them fight, showing some intelligence for the first time in his career. In a cool spot, Brown and Venis do a double team Bulldog suplex. And of course the partnership is over in like 4 seconds.
Good to see that some things never change. Brown gets a NICE sunset flip powerbomb from the middle rope for two. That was nice. They’re doing a good job here of keeping things moving here which is nice. Bulldog hits the powerslam into the ropes so Brown can make the save for Venis. The Sky High and Low Down hit but Venis splashes Brown while he’s still on Bulldog for the pin. That would have hurt. Solid match.
Rating: B. I usually don’t like triple threats but this was pretty solid I thought. They worked pretty well together and while the title change didn’t mean much, it was still cool to see Brown and Venis out there despite the fact that their usefulness was coming to an end. Fun match though. Just keep in mind that those are two favorites of mine in there.
X-Pac makes rules for the cage match he has with Kane. Kane can’t escape but Pac can. Those are the rules mind you.
Kane vs. X-Pac
This is the blowoff to their feud that kept going and going. Tori is sexy to me and always has been. Pac has reached the point of annoying here so that explains a lot. No idea what I meant by that so don’t try to figure it out. Kane goes to the floor and gets Pac first thanks to Tori. Yes of course she turns on him eventually. A
nd of course Pac can’t do a damn thing to Kane. King spends the whole match making sex jokes about Kane. I could care less here even though Kane is one of my favorites. After Pac can’t do shit to Kane, here come the Outlaws with bolt cutters. The X-Factor hits on a chair they throw in and Kane is cuffed to the cage.
Many chairshots follow until Tori gets in the ring. X-Factor for the woman that he was sleeping with in kayfabe secrecy. Kane of course breaks the cuffs as Pac is leaving. In a cool spot, Pac is climbing down and Kane catches him on his shoulders and walks him back into the cage. I like that. After slamming the cage door on X-Pac’s head, Kane goes up to the top of the cage and hits his clothesline. A Tomestone gets the three and X-Pac is DEAD. Decent match, GREAT finish.
Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you end a feud. Kane had been trying to get his hands on that little twat waffle for months and he finally did. This is what matches like this should be like. I loved the ending here as Kane looked like a freaking monster and that’s what he was supposed to do. Great stuff.
We get a music video about Chyna vs. Jericho. Tonight is their second match.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna
We get a nice thing as Miss Kitty is wearing something close to what Chyna is wearing and both have titles that they hold in the same way. Not bad. This of course is the whole man vs. woman thing all over again but with Jericho instead of Jarrett, making it far better right off the bat. We start mostly on the floor with Chyna being slammed onto the table with a front face suplex.
Chyna hits the Andre spot as she’s tied in the ropes. She has a bad thumb so he goes for it of course, hitting the world’s first dropkick to the thumb. The cocky cover gets two. It’s been all Canadian here. Finally the Lionsault is (of course) blocked to get us closer to even. I cannot get into this match for the life of me. Actually the whole show fits that description. It’s been pretty good but I just can’t get into it at all. It’s picking up though which is odd as it was good already.
Chyna reverses a belly to back from the middle rope. Ok that’s what she was supposed to do but it didn’t exactly work. It got the closest two count I’ve ever seen though. Jericho gets the Walls and she taps. A bit odd since there wasn’t a lot of back work but I can go with it.
Rating: B-. Good match all around but like I said I’m just not into this show for some reason. Chyna wasn’t as good in the ring as she’s made out to be and you have to keep in mind that she was in there mainly with Jericho and Jarrett. How hard can it be to have passable matches with them? Either way, this was good stuff and the first title reign for Jericho. The first of ten. That’s freaking scary. They would become co-champions in awhile.
Jericho is with Cole and gets a POP. Yeah it was inevitable. Chyna comes up and legit shakes his hand. Ok then.
Tag Titles: Rock N Sock Connection vs. New Age Outlaws
Foley has the blue shirt on. That’s just odd looking. Fans are INSANE for the Rock. And now let’s talk about how Road Dogg used to be a Marine and knows what real war is like. We’re getting sympathy/cool facts about heels…why? Billy Gunn is worthless. He truly is. He and Rock have a staredown and Billy takes his shirt off.
Rock, having a brain, hits him while it’s over his face. Seriously, why am I supposed to give a fuck about this guy? Not bad so far but still just not that good. The Outlaws were on their last legs here and while they were still getting pops, they were about done. Shake Rattle and Roll gets countered by the Claw.
And we’re all on the floor now. Let’s hit the crowd since it’s still 1999. I’ve never gotten why Rock had his feud with Billy Gunn. Seriously, who booked that? Let’s go to the floor again since we haven’t done that in the last 40 seconds. In something you won’t see often, Road Dogg just punches Rock down in the corner. That was even weird to type let alone see. Dude, you won’t pretend to ass fuck the Rock! It was pretty obvious that the titles weren’t changing.
Seriously, Rock and Mankind not in the Rumble but fighting the Acolytes? Seriously? Yeah no way that was happening. Rock’s punches were always cool. I like them. Foley gets the quiet tag despite acting like it was hot. So more or less Foley is winning on his own here. He follows that up by pressing A and B at the same time and steals Road Dogg’s finisher. And there goes your referee. The Claw is put on but here’s Al Snow with Head to break that up.
Foley takes a bunch of hard shots to the head but keeps kicking out which is getting a solid reaction. Other than that the crowd seems a bit uninterested. Rock comes in and finally gets us a pop. Rock beats them up by himself but here’s Al Snow for the CHEAP DQ! He gets a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow for his troubles.
Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good and the crowd wasn’t into it at all. I think the ending was obvious and it led to Al Snow vs. Rock. Why? Anyway, this wasn’t worth much at all and it came off as just weak. The Outlaws were slipping and it didn’t work at all.
We recap Boss Man vs. Big Show. In essence, Boss Man pretended that Big Show’s father died. In fake reality his dad died a few days later. At the funeral, Boss Man showed up and attached the coffin to a car and dragged it away with Show riding along on it. Oh and he got his mother to admit that Big Show was a bastard. Sure why not.
WWF Title: Big Boss Man vs. Big Show
Should be a big match. This is for nothing more than to make Show’s reign not look transitional which it totally was. You have to remember that Show is still in shape and kind of slim here so he’s completely lethal. Prince Albert is with Boss Man here. He’s chokeslammed through a table in like a minute but it lets Boss Man get a step shot.
The fans think this is boring. To you new fans, here’s an idea of what Big Show from this era was capable of. He kicks out of a cover and NIPS UP. You read that right: The Big Show Nipped Up. A huge boot and the chokeslam end this in like 3 minutes. Show looked AWESOME here.
Rating: B. This is what it should have been. Big Show destroyed him and looked great doing it. He shrugged off weapons and everything Boss Man threw at him like it was nothing. This was great and it came off great. Total dominance and I loved it.
We recap HHH vs. Vince, which has been DX beating up Vince’s family and associates and culminating in the wedding. For those of you that don’t know, Stephanie was supposed to marry Test, but HHH came out and showed a video showing she was drugged and married in one of the most ridiculous moments ever.
This leads us to HHH vs. Vince where if HHH loses there’s an annulment. Oh and if HHH wins he gets a rematch for the title. Now if you don’t see the ending coming a mile away, you’re an idiot.
HHH vs. Vince McMahon
There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet damn that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.
You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as hell.
We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.
They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see a damn thing. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.
Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FUCKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s damn impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.
In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Fucking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.
We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking the fuck out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.
Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy shit chant comes out of course. Finally we get some damn blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a damn Night of the Living Dead zombie.
WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.
Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the damn McMahons. Damn she looks great here.
Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.
Rating: C+. Good show overall. As usual with this era there’s some stuff that makes limited sense but you take that with the territory. A lot of the stuff, including the tag match for some reason, never clicked at all. Even still though, entertaining show that’s worth checking out but not worth going out of your way to see.
There really isn’t any great match, but there isn’t anything that bad either. The tag match is on the Allied Powers DVD if you really want to see it for some reason and I think the main event is on Vince’s DVD. Good but far from great show. Entertaining though.
Date: December 12, 1999
Location: National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, Florida
Attendance: 15, 749
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
First off, who in the fuck named that place? I get the whole naming it after the company but you couldn’t come up with ANYTHING better than that? Anyway, welcome to the last show of 1999 and of the 1900s in the WWF. Austin is gone and Big Show shocked the world as he won the world title at Survivor Series.
This show is famous for two things. First of all, Vince wrestles a 30 minute match. Second, there is something here that you’ll never see on a WWE show again. Other than that there isn’t much here but this is an historic show so let’s get to it!
The opening video more or less doesn’t exist. Ok then.
Tag Team Battle Royal
Dudleys, Godfather/Mark Henry, Headbangers, Edge/Christian, Hardy Boyz, Acolytes, Mean Street Posse, Too Cool.
The Dudleys are out first and yell at Edge and Christian. They all get in a fight before the rest are here. The last man standing wins a tag title shot at the Rumble for his team. The Hardys get a big pop. Terri is with them and is ****ty and undesirable as ever. I love the Posse. I always did. Too Cool gets a solid pop too.
Wow the entrances took awhile for this. It’s individual elimination mind you. Rodney is out. These are hard to call so I’ll more or less be waiting until the end of things. The third member of the Posse keeps going in to cheat. Ok apparently if one guy is eliminated the partner is too. Headbangers are out.
Henry and Godfather are out. Like I said there’s no way to talk about what’s going on here since everything is just a mess. Edge and Christian get both of Too Cool out. It’s Edge and Christian, Dudleys, Acolytes and Hardys. In other words, the four best teams are left. D-Von and Christian go through the ropes and fight on the floor. D-Von pulls Edge out so it’s down to three. There was an affinity for the DDT in this era.
Jeff gets a What’s Up before it was named. Jeff’s crotch is the Promised Land apparently. Jeff takes 3D on top of that but Matt puts the Dudleys out so it’s Hardys vs. Acolytes. Jeff is up after all that inside of a minute. Sure why not. Bradshaw and Matt go out at the same time so they just let us have the other two go at it instead. Bradshaw goes back in anyway so guess how this goes.
Not as you would expect actually as Jeff puts Farrooq out but it’s not seem. Ok never mind as Matt is allowed back in. This needs to end like now. And so it does as Farrooq LAUNCHES Jeff out to win.
Rating: D+. Fast paced but boring as are most battle royals. The constant cheating etc at the end just got annoying too. This wasn’t very good but the crowd popped for most of the entrances so there we are. Not terrible but nothing great at all as this could have easily been done on Smackdown or Raw.
Lillian is with Kurt. Both are incredibly young looking here. He talks about the match he and Blackman lost to the Dudleys, leading to this.
Steve Blackman vs. Kurt Angle
This is Angle’s second PPV match or so, so guess what’s going to happen. Oddly enough they say he’s a REAL athlete. Kind of an odd thing to hear in a kayfabe company. Steve’s music cuts off the Three I’s speech. After a fast start, Blackman misses a middle rope headbutt to give Angle control. Crowd is bordering on dead here.
Angle is REALLY green here. He busts out a perfect moonsault which to this day has never hit. In a cool moment, Blackman puts Angle in a bow and arrow and gets counted down for two. I never would have thought for that. What is with the amount of DDTs here and lately? That’s just odd as hell.
The fans think this is boring. And now they think Angle sucks. Well they’re into a boring match so that’s a good sign for Angle. Blackman misses a Vader Bomb and Angle gets two off of it. This is a really basic match but it’s not bad. Angle wins with a belly to back suplex of all things. Post match Blackman beats him up with his knunchucks.
Rating: B-. You have to consider that Angle was a total rookie at this point. By today’s standards, this is awful. For a guy that’s been there a little over a month, this was fine. Angle was getting experience here and it helped a lot for him. This was ok but nothing that special. Still though it’s fun to see him this new.
We see some chick getting dressed behind a screen. She’s very curvy so I’m betting on Mae. We see a clip of Moolah shoving Ivory into a pool on Heat. Back to the shadow chick and it’s BB. She was a nurse character who had big boobs and was boring as hell otherwise. Cole talks to her and can’t talk.
Greg Norman, a golfer, is here. Tiger wasn’t a big deal yet.
Women’s Title: Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. BB vs. Ivory
This is an evening gown in a pool match. Mae and Moolah are referees. OK that’s fine. If they want to be involved in a non wrestling role, great. Just keep them out of the ring. This was a big deal because Kitty doesn’t wear underwear. Seriously, who wants to see Jackie in her underwear? And people wonder why no one takes this company seriously.
The other three force Ivory into the pool. They’re just splashing water on each other. Jackie falls out of her top much to my pain. Yeah she’s out already. King of course is loving this. Ok so the attempted murder begins already. And BB is out. Ivory tries to get her top off and fails. Kat gets booed for stopping her.
And Kat performs a Greco Roman Zipper Lock as JR calls it to get the win and the title. Post match she says they made her wear underwear so she strips anyway, and for the first and more or less only time in WWF history, there is legit nudity as you see her boobs clearly. This was SHOCKING at the time and gives new meaning to the term Pay Per View. Slaughter runs out with a towel to cover her up. Mae takes her clothes off and Sarge does the same thing.
Rating: A+. Just for having the balls to do something like that. This was a very different era.
Rikishi and Viscera are fighting the Hollies. Rikishi is a total newcomer here who for some reason was made top heel in about 9 months. He’s still Rikishi Phatu here. He was a serious character here, so this was a decent promo.
Hardcore Holly/Crash Holly vs. Viscera/Rikishi
Simple idea here: two guys calling themselves super heavyweights vs. two super heavyweights.¬¬ He’s hanging out with Too Cool already but is still serious so it’s bearable. Rikishi is just killing them both here. Tag for Viscera and it’s the same result. This is as much of a squash as you could ever ask for.
They get Viscera down though so there you are. Damn Hardcore could throw a dropkick. Hardcore hits a DDT but since this is pro wrestling and he’s a Samoan, you can guess how effective that is. Anyway, the I guess faces double team and just massacre them as Rikishi hits his AWESOME over the shoulder piledriver.
When he was debuting, this guy was all kinds of awesome. And then Viscera accidentally kicks him in the back of the head and literally sits there and watches him get pinned. Rikishi is up a second later which looks stupid as hell. The big guys fight afterwards and of course the Samoan wins for a bit before the big pull apart.
Rating: C. Seriously, what did you expect here? Again, this was a way to get Rikishi some in ring time and that worked fine. The ending set up his first feud so that gave him something to do. Nothing wrong here but it could have been on TV somewhere. Hard to really complain though as it’s like 4 minutes long and not bad or anything.
So we’re 45 minutes into this and I don’t think the title match or the HHH vs. Vince match has been mentioned at all. That’s odd.
Lillian is with Val. That’s a nice combination as they’re likely the two people from this era that I wanted to see naked the most. He says he’ll win the European title and hits on Lillian in Spanish which I understood. Hey I took like 12 years of Spanish so I’m glad it worked to an extent.
European Title: British Bulldog vs. D’Lo Brown vs. Val Venis
Bulldog is the champion here. Yeah he was so obsessed with the world title that once he realized no one cared anymore he settled for the European Title. The Posse is with him of all people. Brown and Venis are both good so maybe they can make the terrible Bulldog (at this point) look decent. Long throws the Posse out. Well you knew there would be one triple threat somewhere on there.
Brown busts out a Taker Dive to take both guys out. The more I see of him the more I like him. Oh and Val is a face now. This is your standard triple threat match, complete with all of the double teams and constant reminders that the champion doesn’t have to be pinned to lose the title.
Brown goes for what would have been a SWEET springboard DDT but he slips and Venis takes over. Bulldog lets them fight, showing some intelligence for the first time in his career. In a cool spot, Brown and Venis do a double team Bulldog suplex. And of course the partnership is over in like 4 seconds.
Good to see that some things never change. Brown gets a NICE sunset flip powerbomb from the middle rope for two. That was nice. They’re doing a good job here of keeping things moving here which is nice. Bulldog hits the powerslam into the ropes so Brown can make the save for Venis. The Sky High and Low Down hit but Venis splashes Brown while he’s still on Bulldog for the pin. That would have hurt. Solid match.
Rating: B. I usually don’t like triple threats but this was pretty solid I thought. They worked pretty well together and while the title change didn’t mean much, it was still cool to see Brown and Venis out there despite the fact that their usefulness was coming to an end. Fun match though. Just keep in mind that those are two favorites of mine in there.
X-Pac makes rules for the cage match he has with Kane. Kane can’t escape but Pac can. Those are the rules mind you.
Kane vs. X-Pac
This is the blowoff to their feud that kept going and going. Tori is sexy to me and always has been. Pac has reached the point of annoying here so that explains a lot. No idea what I meant by that so don’t try to figure it out. Kane goes to the floor and gets Pac first thanks to Tori. Yes of course she turns on him eventually. A
nd of course Pac can’t do a damn thing to Kane. King spends the whole match making sex jokes about Kane. I could care less here even though Kane is one of my favorites. After Pac can’t do shit to Kane, here come the Outlaws with bolt cutters. The X-Factor hits on a chair they throw in and Kane is cuffed to the cage.
Many chairshots follow until Tori gets in the ring. X-Factor for the woman that he was sleeping with in kayfabe secrecy. Kane of course breaks the cuffs as Pac is leaving. In a cool spot, Pac is climbing down and Kane catches him on his shoulders and walks him back into the cage. I like that. After slamming the cage door on X-Pac’s head, Kane goes up to the top of the cage and hits his clothesline. A Tomestone gets the three and X-Pac is DEAD. Decent match, GREAT finish.
Rating: B+. Now THAT is how you end a feud. Kane had been trying to get his hands on that little twat waffle for months and he finally did. This is what matches like this should be like. I loved the ending here as Kane looked like a freaking monster and that’s what he was supposed to do. Great stuff.
We get a music video about Chyna vs. Jericho. Tonight is their second match.
Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Chyna
We get a nice thing as Miss Kitty is wearing something close to what Chyna is wearing and both have titles that they hold in the same way. Not bad. This of course is the whole man vs. woman thing all over again but with Jericho instead of Jarrett, making it far better right off the bat. We start mostly on the floor with Chyna being slammed onto the table with a front face suplex.
Chyna hits the Andre spot as she’s tied in the ropes. She has a bad thumb so he goes for it of course, hitting the world’s first dropkick to the thumb. The cocky cover gets two. It’s been all Canadian here. Finally the Lionsault is (of course) blocked to get us closer to even. I cannot get into this match for the life of me. Actually the whole show fits that description. It’s been pretty good but I just can’t get into it at all. It’s picking up though which is odd as it was good already.
Chyna reverses a belly to back from the middle rope. Ok that’s what she was supposed to do but it didn’t exactly work. It got the closest two count I’ve ever seen though. Jericho gets the Walls and she taps. A bit odd since there wasn’t a lot of back work but I can go with it.
Rating: B-. Good match all around but like I said I’m just not into this show for some reason. Chyna wasn’t as good in the ring as she’s made out to be and you have to keep in mind that she was in there mainly with Jericho and Jarrett. How hard can it be to have passable matches with them? Either way, this was good stuff and the first title reign for Jericho. The first of ten. That’s freaking scary. They would become co-champions in awhile.
Jericho is with Cole and gets a POP. Yeah it was inevitable. Chyna comes up and legit shakes his hand. Ok then.
Tag Titles: Rock N Sock Connection vs. New Age Outlaws
Foley has the blue shirt on. That’s just odd looking. Fans are INSANE for the Rock. And now let’s talk about how Road Dogg used to be a Marine and knows what real war is like. We’re getting sympathy/cool facts about heels…why? Billy Gunn is worthless. He truly is. He and Rock have a staredown and Billy takes his shirt off.
Rock, having a brain, hits him while it’s over his face. Seriously, why am I supposed to give a fuck about this guy? Not bad so far but still just not that good. The Outlaws were on their last legs here and while they were still getting pops, they were about done. Shake Rattle and Roll gets countered by the Claw.
And we’re all on the floor now. Let’s hit the crowd since it’s still 1999. I’ve never gotten why Rock had his feud with Billy Gunn. Seriously, who booked that? Let’s go to the floor again since we haven’t done that in the last 40 seconds. In something you won’t see often, Road Dogg just punches Rock down in the corner. That was even weird to type let alone see. Dude, you won’t pretend to ass fuck the Rock! It was pretty obvious that the titles weren’t changing.
Seriously, Rock and Mankind not in the Rumble but fighting the Acolytes? Seriously? Yeah no way that was happening. Rock’s punches were always cool. I like them. Foley gets the quiet tag despite acting like it was hot. So more or less Foley is winning on his own here. He follows that up by pressing A and B at the same time and steals Road Dogg’s finisher. And there goes your referee. The Claw is put on but here’s Al Snow with Head to break that up.
Foley takes a bunch of hard shots to the head but keeps kicking out which is getting a solid reaction. Other than that the crowd seems a bit uninterested. Rock comes in and finally gets us a pop. Rock beats them up by himself but here’s Al Snow for the CHEAP DQ! He gets a Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow for his troubles.
Rating: D. This just wasn’t that good and the crowd wasn’t into it at all. I think the ending was obvious and it led to Al Snow vs. Rock. Why? Anyway, this wasn’t worth much at all and it came off as just weak. The Outlaws were slipping and it didn’t work at all.
We recap Boss Man vs. Big Show. In essence, Boss Man pretended that Big Show’s father died. In fake reality his dad died a few days later. At the funeral, Boss Man showed up and attached the coffin to a car and dragged it away with Show riding along on it. Oh and he got his mother to admit that Big Show was a bastard. Sure why not.
WWF Title: Big Boss Man vs. Big Show
Should be a big match. This is for nothing more than to make Show’s reign not look transitional which it totally was. You have to remember that Show is still in shape and kind of slim here so he’s completely lethal. Prince Albert is with Boss Man here. He’s chokeslammed through a table in like a minute but it lets Boss Man get a step shot.
The fans think this is boring. To you new fans, here’s an idea of what Big Show from this era was capable of. He kicks out of a cover and NIPS UP. You read that right: The Big Show Nipped Up. A huge boot and the chokeslam end this in like 3 minutes. Show looked AWESOME here.
Rating: B. This is what it should have been. Big Show destroyed him and looked great doing it. He shrugged off weapons and everything Boss Man threw at him like it was nothing. This was great and it came off great. Total dominance and I loved it.
We recap HHH vs. Vince, which has been DX beating up Vince’s family and associates and culminating in the wedding. For those of you that don’t know, Stephanie was supposed to marry Test, but HHH came out and showed a video showing she was drugged and married in one of the most ridiculous moments ever.
This leads us to HHH vs. Vince where if HHH loses there’s an annulment. Oh and if HHH wins he gets a rematch for the title. Now if you don’t see the ending coming a mile away, you’re an idiot.
HHH vs. Vince McMahon
There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet damn that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.
You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as hell.
We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.
They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see a damn thing. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.
Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FUCKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s damn impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.
In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Fucking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.
We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking the fuck out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.
Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy shit chant comes out of course. Finally we get some damn blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a damn Night of the Living Dead zombie.
WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.
Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the damn McMahons. Damn she looks great here.
Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.
Rating: C+. Good show overall. As usual with this era there’s some stuff that makes limited sense but you take that with the territory. A lot of the stuff, including the tag match for some reason, never clicked at all. Even still though, entertaining show that’s worth checking out but not worth going out of your way to see.
There really isn’t any great match, but there isn’t anything that bad either. The tag match is on the Allied Powers DVD if you really want to see it for some reason and I think the main event is on Vince’s DVD. Good but far from great show. Entertaining though.
