The sound of furious clicking echoes around the dank and dingy room, the latest of little cesspits that S.H.I.T has been dragged to with this strange man for its supposed own good, it had been warned that there was danger on every corner and that the bad people were just waiting for either The Machine or the Scientist to slip up. S.H.I.T could not understand the need to hide, as far as it was concerned it was the most dangerous thing ali..... in the World.
The clicking was coming from a computer mouse, this man had managed to acquire a decent PC and was usually occupied playing games or looking things up online, paying less and less attention to S.H.I.T. The Machine didnt care, it had matters of its own to attend to, Barbosa. Empire.
You see, he said, breaking S.H.I.Ts train of thou.... Programming, whatever it was. Now that the evil Fascists have invaded from the East, and here he indicates the screen of which there is a map of Europe covered in a range of different colours, the most prominent of which is the encroaching Gold on the far right, the only way the rest of us can survive is to join together, otherwise we will be destroyed. This is why I am allying with the Communist faction for this battle. Despite myself being a Capitalist.
S.H.I.T exists only to destroy!
He sighs and mutters to himself, I am a certified genius and I am stuck looking after this pile of bolts.
Because now we need each other to survive or we will be destroyed. As the old saying goes, 'My enemies enemy is my friend.' He continues, attempting to drive the point home. You see, the forging of Empires have always made for odd allies, because in this game" he indicates the screen again, "you either win, or you die! He glances sidelong at S.H.I.T, recent weeks would indicate that it is grasping the idea, but each and every time the name Barbosa is mentioned it draws the same reaction. The fists clench, sometimes it even says Destroy! less than a split second after the name had passed his lips. He needed a permanent method of control, this man/machine could be manipulated for short periods, Alhazred had found that out, as had Ty Burna, but nothing stuck, in the end it would fall into its old destructive habits. Dangerous, but often stupid.
He gives an exasperated sigh, fine then, take all three of them on by yourself. See how long it takes before they lay you to waste.
He had been researching a controlling method online for weeks now, a method discovered by a doctor from the Bethlem Royal Hospital, an age old technique that was made illegal due to it being considered cruel, but the Scientist had no time for niceties, he just needed that technique, which was locked away in the archives of that damn hospital. Luckily he had devised a plan, it just hinged on that damn Machine being able to do what it was told for long enough.
Bethlem Royal Hospital.
Theft.
That is why it was here. Sent on an errand to apprehend some information at this place, it had not been told what it was, it had been told where to find it, it had been told not to be seen at all costs. This was proving to be difficult as there was clearly another figure wandering around the archives, doing his best to avoid security by ducking and hiding. Through a crack in the box S.H.I.T watched whoever it was wandering around, whoever it was was searching for something, perhaps the same thing S.H.I.T was searching for. It was not to be seen, it must lie low, wait for the other to leave.
This would cause a problem, for two reasons, the other was acting as though he had all night and as he approached the box it was clearly S.H.I.Ts deranged nemesis, Barbosa, a Human would not be able to believe the coincidence.
Mission Protocol 1 overrides current instructions. Or in laymans terms S.H.I.T exists only to destroy.
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The door opens to the nasty little room, the sound of furious clicking still going strong, the Scientist takes a break from whatever computer activity he was undergoing to greet the newcomer, a short, dark haired, moderately well dressed man, with a nod of his head.
"Did It. . . He succeed?" Asked the moderately dressed man.
The reply comes back.
"No, in fact S.H.I.T managed to destroy it, during a fight."
This elicits a grunt of disgust from the other man.
"Another waste of resources, eh Gustav? Or whatever your going by now."
"Bedlam in the original Bedlam. Rather poetic." Said the Scientist, stroking his huge white moustache.
"Poetic? It takes us weeks to find a method to control that thing that might actually work, a way to acquire it which can't be traced back to us and that idiot in a box manages to destroy it. What was it doing? Fighting all the Security Guards?"
"Interestingly enough, it is quite important to know who it is fighting."
The moderately dressed man throws up his arms in mock surrender. "A homeless man, one of the inmates, how can it possibly matter?"
"Take a look." The Scientist turns his computer monitor to face the moderately dressed man and clicks a button with his mouse.
"Fap. . . I can't pronounce that." He said, "who is it?"
"I find it easier to say 'Barbosa'" he replied, "that is the person that S.H.I.T has been at odds with S.H.I.T for months now."
The man stares at the picture of the ultimate inmate, "what was he doing there?"
"You know our Machine rarely stops to ask questions, I do not know."
"Well, this is a bust then." Said the moderately dressed man, rubbing his face in a sure sign of stress.
"Wait, there is more."
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Barbosa manages to fight free of S.H.I.Ts grip and back off, S.H.I.T kicks the front of its box down in pursuit. It had expected Barbosa to come back swinging, instead what it got was an unusual response from this Killing Machine.
Manic: What are you? Some sort of Terminator? First you want to destroy us, then you save us, now you want to destroy us again?
The only word the Machine comprehended was destroy and Barbosa was giving S.H.I.T an opening to do just that.
Barbosa: Stop, you ridiculous automaton!
This little song and dance between us has gone on long enough. I am Barbosa former WZCW champion and I will not be treated like this. I will waste anymore time with a moronic specimen such as...
***CHOP!***
A Human would be unable to believe his luck, a chance to destroy his nemesis without them trying to fight back, S.H.I.Ts thoughts on the matter are far more plain and it seemed it was going to press its advantage anyway. Throwing Barbosa into just about anything it could, destroying much of the archive, heedless of the damage it was causing, in front of it its foe and nobody to tell it to stop.
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As the story unfolds the moderately dressed man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hipflask. "Boy, did I pick the wrong day to quit drinking?"
He takes a quick swig before the Scientist snatches it away from him, who instead himself takes a massive mouthful.
"Aah, not fine German Beer but it will do."
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A final throw creates separation between the pair and Barbosa uses this time to regain his composure. His posture completely changed from his earlier haughty appearance.
Barbosa: Stop... why are we still doing this?
S.H.I.T cocks its head, it had thought Barbosa had revelled in this. Both outbursts from before were wrong in their way, but at least his usual aggression was there before. This, this was even more wrong.
Barbosa: What happened the last time we did this to each other? Yes, part of us found it functional. Fun even. But where did it leave us? In a pile of rubble just waiting to be picked off by whichever wolves decided to pick up the scraps.
It left us vulnerable. Weak.
Weakness. The match at Unscripted had been necessary after all they'd gone through, but the end result had nearly ended with the destruction of them both. S.H.I.T had been attempting this very thing at first, but self preservation is apparently not unique to Humans. Willing to listen to what this different Barbosa had to say, S.H.I.T assumed a more passive stance.
Barbosa: These walls have seen over seven centuries of history. They have seen the rise and fall of numerous empires and rather than fight each other, we should be banding together to make sure that it sees the fall of another
While some wither and decay, collapsing under the weight of their own accomplishments and decrepitude, others are destroyed, wiped from history, ground into dust by those more powerful.
S.H.I.T takes another step forward, although less forceful than before.
Barbosa: Would you be ground into dust by those more powerful? Destroy us here, now, and you are all alone against them and you cannot hope to beat them by yourself.
It remembered how helpless it had been at the hands of Empire, tied up and left to die, in that moment it had done an odd thing, it had saved the man it was determined to destroy in an effort to save itself as well. Perhaps, perhaps this really was the man to stand side by side with and in a rare moment of shame S.H.I.T knew that this other had realised it first. This was why this fight had not escalated into a total war between the two.
This was best, because they both had a total war of medieval proportions at their doorstep.
It would have even relished the other man fighting back but in that moment it knew Barbosa had done the right thing. My enemies enemy is my friend is what the scientist had said. It seems the two Humans had the right of it, an endless quest to destroy would only result in S.H.I.T itself being destroyed by those more powerful. In the great game alliances must be forged and perhaps broken and the forging of Empires has always made for odd allies, the Fascists in the computer game united the Capitalists and the Communists. Bowen and Cooper have gone one better, theyve united Barbosa and S.H.I.T. Between them they could destroy an Empire.
S.H.I.T nods at Barbosa. Few words had been exchanged, but the words were not important, only the content and the outcome.
Looking around the archive it realised it had destroyed the section it was supposed to search, not giving a second thought to things it cannot change it turns to leave.
It perhaps detected a movement behind it, but something told it not to turn and face whatever it was.
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"Have we any idea what was said?" Asked the moderately dressed man.
"No." The Scientist replied simply.
"All we know is that, person whoever he is, succeeded where you've been failing all this time?"
The Scientist gritted his teeth at the word 'failing' but let it slide.
"Who'd have thought when I found you in that back alley all that time ago and hired you to work for us we'd have both ended up on the run from those same people, with a cardboard contraption that apparently can only be reasoned with by. . ."
"A deranged former mental patient?" The Scientist chips in helpfully.
"Hmm, can we still trust it?" he said thoughtfully.
"I don't know."
"Boy, did I pick the wrong day to stop sniffing glue?"
