Alright, Which One Of You Is It?

[Turd Ferguson]

From JR's blog:

"Some apparent whack job is emailing me to death, perhaps there are more than one, and is obsessed with me hooking him, I think it's a him, up with Mickie James. This isn't 'E-Harmony," pal, but a place to congregate and order BBQ products, etc. This person can't figure out why Mickie hasn't responded to his/her many, many attempts at reaching her. Duh. Did you ever think that just maybe you've scared the hell out of her? As Larry the Cable Guy might say, 'Let it go."

 

[ABMorales787]

Oh. Sorry. It was me. I was trying to contract her to a Country music label to form an all girl band called the Dickie Chix but the other girls got out of the trun... I mean got out of the deal.

 

[Coco]

Sorry Jim. This thing is I've noticed how much you enjoy getting in a self-depricating joke or two about your thick, meaty behind and I just sorta assumed we were welcome to contact you about all thick, meaty behinds.

 

[CH David]

If it is a poster from here, that has FalKon written all over it.

 

[Coco]

Wearing a Mickie avatar and posting in Mickie related threads doesn't mean he's the only one who wants a piece of that thick, meaty behind.

 

[J-Dogg]

Its FalKon.

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

5th of November, 2009. The day Coco started ending every single one of his posts with the words "thick, meaty behind".

Even posts about Hornswoggle.

 

[Mustang Sally]

And all of you assumed it was a guy who wrote to JR.

'Course, the way I have it here, it looks like Beth ate Mickie.


Which is possible.

 

[Coco]

You don't just eat Mickie. You cut it up, store it properly, and use it over the course of the winter. If it was Michelle McCool, maybe you could get through her in one sitting. But you can't do that with a girl like Mickie. She's got a thick, meaty behind.

 

[ABMorales787]

Wait, are you sure whoever it is wants the thick meaty behind, or the round soft and chicken filled belly?

 

[Turd Ferguson]

I got dibs on the thick, meaty vagina.

That's enough to last the entire winter.

 

[Mantaur Rodeo Clown]

You don't just eat Mickie. You cut it up, store it properly, and use it over the course of the winter. If it was Michelle McCool, maybe you could get through her in one sitting. But you can't do that with a girl like Mickie. She's got a thick, meaty behind.

So it begins.

 

[Coco]

 

[CH David]

Damn you GuyCompton. I wanted Mickie's pink taco. It appears a fight to the death will commence. On guard.

 

[Coco]

 

[Coco]

Wait, what?

 

[ABMorales787]

I call shotgun on the belly. I need a new pillow.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Hmm... apparently the guy is from Australia. LEAVE HER ALONE, FALKON.

Mickie's going to end up a lampshade in this guy's living room.

Posted by PWPIX on 11/04/2009
PWPIX.net reader Luke Hudson of Australia has asked me numerous times to post letters similar to the following on this very website in hope that it reaches WWE performerMickie James. While I have declined each time, I have finally to give in and post his most recent letter. Here is what Luke wrote:

heres a news report its not relly wrestling news but i have to do something pleases dont reject it or think its stalking mickie james because i am trying to do this in a good way this is a very deep love message to the one and only mickie james so be nice about this when you look at it you will hurt my feelings if you dont post it this story means everything to me

luke

hello

wwe wrestler mickie laree james is the love of my life and she means everything to me just to go out with her

would make me happy forever mickie james is my sweet hart i dont know why i love her so much i just do shes so

hot i will never find a another mickie james i cant live with

out her i will always be missing her everyday i need to be

with her its something i

want to do i want to have a family with her she wants a

family of her own so if she wants to have a baby i will

give her one she will love me for it i will make her happy i

dont want to hurt her i want to take care of her and love her i want to hold her in my arms and never let her go i

will do anything for her ever since i saw her i wanted to be

with her i know shes busy i understand that but if she

wants to be with someone i would love to mickie i am

crazy about you i think about you everyday and i cant get

you out of my mind im so in love with you pleases give me a chance to be with you i wont push you around i want

us to take it one step at a time i relly know wrestling means the world to you and i dont want to take

at away from you we will make it work out between us i

know its hard for you to keep a relationship and i promies this one will work out i have seen how man have treated

you and that makes me upset i dont want to do that to

you i know you want someone that will love you and not use you i know i can be a better man to you then the guys

before i know you dont know me in person but i want us to get to know each other first i dont love anyone eles i only love you and i will always love you even if we split up we will still be friends i will

never forget you i will always have you in my heart intill i die i will never be with anyone eles your my only baby your the greatest champon of all time i pick you out of all the other divas because your the most hottest woman in the world and you are a relly good wrestler

to the other divas they suck they cant wrestle iike you do im happy i found you i dont know who i would be in love with i just want somone hot iike you in my life we will try and do everything together i will take you places you want to go we will make the most of our time together and keep doing what you do best and that iswrestling i know you love it so much

and i dont want to see you leave it you have said it your self in the past

its your life and i dont mind that i want to see my mickie happy and not sad and if you let me i will make you even more happy cause i will do

everything and anything for you your to die for you are so pretty thats why i have falling in love with you every man as just look what they are

saying about you everybody wants to have you male and female i will do anything to have you in my life i need you pleases tell me you love me too i am someone that will never cheat on you i want to make you happy i love

everything about you your just so sexy i will give you a chance to think

about it first you can take your time i dont want to sound iike im stalking

you ok i am trying to do the right thing pleases mickie james when you see

this just say its sweet and come find me after you have read it
ok i understand my life is on the line here mickie james but i cant let you go

 

[The Doctor]

Oh God, it is FalKon.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"OI, Mickie, I'm going to do something now they used to do in Vietnam. It's called making a head on a stick."

I applaud anyone who gets the obscure movie reference.

 

[Coco]

REDRUM

REDRUM

REDRUM

 

[Christian Battlez]

Anyone remember that kid who met her at a Best Buy last year and passed out from actually meeting Mickie James and had to go to the hospital its definetly him. That or Kenny Dykstra...lol


Or Falkon!

 

[Turd Ferguson]

By the way, when JR calls you a "whack job", you have to take it to heart. The guy is friends with Lawler, who is an alleged pedo.

 

[Smackdown!]

Would you guys just leave Jim Ross the hell alone!

 

[Lee]

Would you guys just leave Jim Ross the hell alone!

*oooooooooh*