AF 5: Mr. Baller vs. Matt Tastic
- Thread starter Ty Burna
- Start date
- Status
?: Do you see? What a huge failure you really are?
A voice in a void of darkness echoes loud. A familiar voice to the man called Matt Tastic.
?: You had them. You really had them. But you chose to let your ego guide you. You somehow out-ego'ed the biggest egomaniacs in the company. Way to go.
Matt Tastic: Man, shut up! I don't need you on me like this. Go away.
?: You think that can get rid of me? My boy, I'm IN you. I am a part of you. Need me or not. I'm here. And you WILL hear me.
Matt: I can hear you all you want. But that doesn't mean you're right.
?: I'm not? I don't recall you winning your match.
Matt: Maybe. But I learned something from that.
?: Hah! What lesson could you have possibly have learned from that?
Matt: Sooner or later, if I stay clear, I'll reach my goals. I don't need your sick advise to win.
?: How do you figure that?
Matt: My performance this week. It was top notch. I went toe to toe with the man who won last years Lethal Lottery.
?: You still lost.
Matt: So?
?: SO?! SO?! You can't be serious.
Matt: I'm like a Super Saiyan. I get stronger from my losses. I keep gaining more and more strength. As time goes on, the more experience I get.
?: Super Saiyan?! How immature.
Matt: Sticks and stones. You misguided me last week. I won't let that happen again. I am the World's Greatest. But sick training and determination are not gonna get me there. Because if I did that, I'd end up like Ty Burna.
?: Really? How so?
Matt: I'd be at the top, but I'd also be one bitter piece of loathsome crap. And I'd never want to be like that again.
?: So you'd rather be a happy failure than a bitter success?
Matt: Pretty much, voice in the void.
?: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....................................!!!!!!!! Alright. You got me. You're right. Being bitter is not particularly fun.
Matt: The crowds. They loved me. They really do admire me despite my shortcomings.
?: They're fools, son. They associate with whoever they can relate to. You're a perfect match. Uncoordinated, easily distracted, often miserable, absent minded...
Matt: Cute. For a voice inside my head, you sure are supportive of me.
?: If you can't figure out why, you're a bigger fool than I thought.
Matt: It would be the first time you're right. I am a fool. Look at me. Week in and week out I lose. It all started spiraling down after I turned my back on a friend and all the fan's that followed me and looked up to me. I acted erratically at the first sight of decline in my career. And it dug me deeper. But I've cleared my mind. I'm not guided by selfish, erratic emotions anymore. Now, I'm guided by the enjoyment I get by going out and entertaining the fans. I can finally say I have a sense of accomplishment. Now screw you, I have stuff to do.
The mystery of the voice goes on however, as Matt seems to be waking up.
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Backstage at a house show, Matt Tastic finds himself in the locker room area dressing up for a match with Alisha close by.
Alisha: You know, you've been acting a tad weird since that loss to Toyota.
Matt: I have?
Alisha: Yes! You talk and moan in your sleep, you wake up in a cold sweat, you've trained uncontrollably, you yanked out an IV out of your arm, hell look at your arm!
Matt looks at his arm as a nasty black spot can be seen close to the elbow pit area.
Matt: You think it's infected?
Alisha: No kidding! Go to the EMT's for a moment and have them check that out. That cannot be normal at all.
Matt: Righto.
A moment of silence comes by with the two just sitting and thinking for a bit.
Matt: Alisha...
Alisha: Yeah...
Matt: Thanks. For always being there for me. You've stayed close by no matter what and never left when I turned on people. I appreciate you being there for me at every turn.
Alisha blushes.
Alisha: You're... You're welcome.
Matt gives a happy, gleeful smile as the camera fades.
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The scene opens with Matt standing tall with his arm heavily bandaged presumably from the infection mentioned earlier. He stands next to Becky Serra with an interview set in the background.
Becky: Well Matt. It took a while, but it seems tonight you scored a win.
Matt: I beat up 3 local guys, Becky. They weigh as much as I do.
Becky: Sounds like it was a challenge.
Matt: It's when you add up all three that they reach my weight, Becky.
Becky: Oh.
Matt: It's still a frustrating feeling. I may be in the Lethal Lottery match, I may be the first to qualify, but dammit to hell, why do I always come so close?
Matt sticks his good arm up to his face and with his thumb and index fingers motions for measurement. It's a very small measurement.
Matt: I was THAT damn close, Becky. That close to beating the #25 entry in the Lottery match and last years winner. Can you see it? Can you see the gap? After practically wrestling a 60 minute match in 10, I got zilch. It's a wonderful life. #1 For the win. ...f*ck....
Matt facepalms in slight frustration.
Becky: It's a shame. But cheer up. You're bound to bounce back eventually.
Matt: You're damn right. I'm just like a Super Saiyan, Becky. If I win, I'm strong. If I lose, I get stronger. That's the way of the Kickassery after all.
Becky: Showtime and Baller were tough opponents this week weren't they?
Matt: Yeah, they proved challenging. But I went in there and stood my ground. Firmly. Judge Sam Smith however you'd like, but I know my work was full throttle. I didn't skip a single beat. I had both Showy and Bally in the ropes. All it took for them to win though was a lousy 3 seconds.
Becky: You did have a very impressive showing.
Matt: Of course I did, Becky. Showy is just that. All Show. All his career, all he's done is lean on other people. Trevor Steele, Titus, Constantine, Stan Rogers and now Baller. If he doesn't have someone's help, he really isn't much. I'll admit Baller's come a long way. But he's still the same goof who was yelling "Believe That" next to a wannabe rapper. Remember those days? His partner's finisher was "Da Xtreme Knockout". "Da vad spelling, FTW". As good as he's gotten, he is still one cocky and clueless son of a b*tch. And I truly apologize to his mother. It's a figure of speech. I'm sure she's disappointed enough in her son as it is. I mean, wouldn't you be disappointed if your son loved playing with balls but wasn't in sports?
Becky: But wrestling's a sport.
Matt: Not anymore, Becky. It's entertainment. Get with the times. Think of the bad examples we'd be setting on our children. We'd be telling them it's OK to play with those round things. We'd be teaching them to have a palm tree haircut. We'd be teaching them bad linguistics is OK.
Becky cuts Matt's rant off...
Becky: Matt, are you homophobic?
Matt: ...umm... No? Why would I... be... homophobic?
Becky: Because you've been making some comments about Baller that go that way.
Matt: Well, I apologize then. It is kinda of an insult to compare him to homosexuals. They deserve better.
Becky: Do you support gay marriage?
Matt: Becky, quit changing the subject!
Becky: Sorry.
Matt: But it's just freakin' weird how he goes everywhere with a damn basketball. Shaq never did it. Jordan never did. Magic never did it. Why's the palm tree headed wrestler doing it? I mean, he eat's with it. He goes places with it. He probably showers with the damn thing. It's weird, Becky. It's just freakin' weird. We've seen him sitting on a bench before a match talking to the damn thing and rubbing it. Like if it was a lamp or Wilson from Cast Away or some shit. You get what I'm saying?
Becky: I guess. Hope he's housebroken though.
Matt: You mean the ball or the pineapple head? Or the fleas in his ridiculous hair? Ah, whatever. Moving on.
Becky: Well then, this week we got the answer as to what got into Wasabi Toyota that led to you almost getting injured. What are your thoughts on Toyota Wasabi being revealed as a member of Ty's Apostles?
Matt: It explains a lot. That Ty is one creepy dude controlling peoples minds and slapping bathrobes over them. Pretty weird how a guy who loves to create anarchy is the one who maintains order on the show though. You'd think the set's would be falling apart and the crowds would be on fire with Ty in charge. I mean, he does worship disorder and stuff.
Becky: It would seem his influence may have also reached S.H.I.T. too.
Matt: Watch your mouth, Becky. It's unbecoming of you. His influence is shit though.
Becky: No, no. I meant the wrestler.
Matt: Oh. Call Steve Jo... Wait a minute. Nevermind. Why's the bastard lovechild of Satan and Criss Angel so interested in ruling a damn wrestling company anyway? Isn't the Anti-Christ supposed to focus in... I don't know... the whole free world? But, whatever boners his wiener I guess.
Becky reacts to the comment by raising her head quickly and giving a disturbed look at Matt.
Becky: ...Alright then... weird... Your thoughts on Steven Holmes and Constantine attacking Gordito?
Matt goes from cheerful to deadpan serious in an instant.
Matt: Pretty mad about it, Becky. I am not proud of the stuff I did last year. Injuring Gordito after becoming jealous of him is easily one of the things I'm most ashamed of.
Becky: Why didn't you help?
Matt: It hurts, but... It's not my place, Becky. I can't just jump in like that. Otherwise, the locker room would've cleared out there.
Becky: But you still owe him an apology.
Matt: Yes, but I'd be interjecting myself in someone else's business. What if he doesn't want my help? But anyway Becky, I have problems of my own. I'm #1 after all.
Becky: But you'd be willing to help him in the Lethal Lottery match, right?
Matt: ............I guess. Though I wouldn't guarantee I'd help him to the end. Or anyone. I wanna win the damned thing too, you know.
Becky: What's your plan going into it? You are *giggles* #1 afterall.
Matt: Great. The cutey has jokes now. I'll be honest though.
Matt stops and inhales greatly. He holds his breath with a puffed up chest for a bit.
Matt: Idonthaveafreakinclue. *huff* Deliver Kickassery, I guess. Get back to me next week. Maybe I'll have a better, more elaborate answer by then.
Becky: OK then. I've got other interviews to make anyway. Good luck with your preparations then and see you next week.
Matt: Thanks Becky. Now if you don't mind, I have an infection to get rid of.
Becky walks off as Matt looks at his bandaged arm. Thoughts run through his head regarding the interviews.
Matt: Sons Of Destiny. The Apostles Of Chaos. Steven and Constantine. Damn, there's a lot of stuff brewing. All these teams forming up just weeks before the Lottery. Winning that thing is bordering on the impossible right now.
Suddenly, a familiar voice peeks inside Matt's mind.
?: That sense of doubt. I told you. You have no hope.
Matt raises his head suddenly as the voice echoes through his head, reacting to it. Matt goes from a somewhat uncaring look, to one of slight despair.
Matt: My conscience is eating me alive...
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Skipping ahead to some time later, Matt knocks at an office door.
?: Come in!
Matt opens the door slowly. He's aware the voice was Vance Bateman, but with Ty Burna also in charge, it's never wrong to be a bit careful.
Vance: Matt, sit down. I have good news and slightly better news for you.
Matt: Really? But what are you talking about?
Vance: See Matt, you still owe the merchandise department about 200 dollar for those masks you threw away.
Matt: ...yeah...
Vance: You also owe the billing department about 600 for the huge electric bills you've ramped up by staying in a closet at the central offices.
Matt: ...umm...
Vance: The janitor could use a tip too for cleaning up after you.
Matt: OK, this isn't sounding like good news right now.
Vance: Hold on, I'm getting there. Oh, there's also an endorsement with Burger King you cost us. That was about 300 bucks...
Matt: This could go on a while...
Vance: You have Gordito's medical bill to cover and... WAIT! That reminds me. William Teach's medical bill is also on your hands...
Matt: That's it. I need a soda...
Matt gets up and out of the room and heads to the hallway towards a vending machine. Vance is still listing stuff.
Vance: There's an unusual amount of fast food deliveries and porn downloads all under your name...
Eventually Matt returns with a Pepsi in his hand. Vance is still listing stuff.
Vance: There's a lawsuit from a Mr. McDonald's for defamation of character, 3 DUI's, which is odd, because I thought you didn't drink.
Matt: I don't.
Vance: Huh. Guess Alisha has been driving off with your license again.
Matt: Damn mask. Why'd I have to get a license with my picture wearing a mask?
Vance: However...
Matt: FINALLY!
Vance: The board of directors, me and Ty Burna...
Matt: That just sounds weird. Ty Burna and board of directors in the same sentence in agreement.
Vance: Tell me about it. Anyway, we've reached two agreements about you. Number one, this week you'll face Mr. Baller at Aftershock.
Matt: Balls to walls. I almost had him and Showy last week. I'll get him this time.
Vance: Number two, we found something for you to do so you can pay back the thousands you owe us.
Matt: Shit, really? What is it?
Vance: A promoting gig.
Matt: A what?
Vance: You will go to various places and promote WZCW. No payment though. In return, WZCW will pay for business related flights, hotel stays, 4 foods a day and land transportation for you and Alisha.
Matt: Wait, you all came up with this? Even Ty?
Vance: Well, Ty wasn't really paying attention. I mean he probably signed the contract just to get us out of the way.
Matt: Does main event level contracts really pay enough freakin' buy a show? That's counter productive.
Vance: I don't know where he got enough money to BUY Meltdown. But he did it.
Matt: He didn't say a thing?
Vance: Actually, he did make a comment when we were discussing you.
Matt: What was it?
Vance: "He calls himself the Worlds Greatest, but he doesn't bother to specify what's he the greatest at?" Then someone else went You're right! What if he was a great cook. Or a great comedian. Or a great spokesperson. He could really be the world's greatest. Well, close anyway. Brilliant idea, Ty. He'lll be our new spokesperson since Steamboat Ricky left."
Matt: His reaction?
Vance: *Pfft* He then turned up his music and just.. Fell asleep.
Matt: Regardless, it sounds like a pretty great gig. When do I start?
Vance hands a paper to Matt.
Vance: Here's your schedule for the month of February. For now, you'll be doing appearances locally wherever WZCW is to promote upcoming events at the arenas. In a few weeks you'll start flying to other places and fly back for TV tapings and 2 or 3 house shows.
Matt: Sounds pretty hefty.
Vance: It is. Your first appearance is this week at a radio talk show.
Matt: Hey! I have a TV taping scheduled and then I have to fly to Japan for an interview less than 24 hours later? How the hell can I do that? It's about a 25 hour flight.
Vance: It's a phone interview, goof.
Matt: Oh. Well then, guess I'm heading to Sanford, Florida for a radio interview. Hey, my dad used to live there.
Vance: Great then. I wish you good luck then and if you need anything, don't be afraid to call.
Matt: 'Kay then. Thanks too. I won't screw this up.
Vance: I hope...
Matt gets up and shakes Vance's hand and takes off with his schedule paper in hand. As he walks off, a familiar voice rears in Matt's head.
?: Can't wait to see you screw this up, international man...
Matt's expression goes from happy to worried near instantly.
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DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to KFCU Radio's "Power Lunch"! This is your host, DJ Sanders! Now for our first segment, as promised yesterday for all you wrestling fans, we will have an in-studio chat with the former multi-time Mayhem Champion Matt Tastic!
Matt enters the studio and sits in front of DJ Sanders. He puts on his headset and is set to speak.
Matt: Hello, Sanford! This is WZCW Superstar, Matt Tastic taking over your airwaves and ambushing your ears with Kickassery.
DJ: How electrifying. Now Matt. Let's get to the meat of this. This coming week, you have a match with Mr. Baller. A one on one match.
Matt: Baller is an athletic guy. He goes out every week and all that, but... He's not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.
DJ: How so?
Matt: Let's just say... We've seen it.
DJ: Come on. Give us some backstage stories.
Matt: OK. Funny story here. This was back in say... Last year. I was in my 4th Mayhem title reign and he was teaming with James Baker. You know, the Ghetto Stars.
DJ: Yeah.
Matt: When we do TV tapings, we normally all stay in the same hotel near the arena. So there was this one time we were in New York. I was eating in a local food court with Chris Beckford and a ref I believe. We were just chatting, nothing important. When Mr. Baller comes in running towards up. Giggling. You know, that giggling you do when you fart and no one noticed?
DJ: Yeah.
Matt: We're just eating there, but we can't ignore him cause he's right next to us with his damn basketball. He goes "guess what, dawgs". I look at him irritated and respond "what?". He's still giggling like an idiot and says "I was outside messing with the taxi drivers". Beckford get's a bit curious now and asks "What did you do?". This was Ballers response. With all the swagger he could dish out, he says "I told the drivers to take me to Jersey and gave them the money... *giggles* ...But I didn't get on!" Then he starts laughing all motivated and running around like if it was funny or cool.
DJ: Hahahahahaha!!! Really? He really did that?
Matt: I'm not sure if he was doing that or just saying it to get our attention, but the little dude sounded awfully motivated.
DJ: And what was your response?
Matt: "That's great Baller. Why don't you go to the Boroughs down the block? Play with your ball there."
DJ: That's just crazy.
Matt: I was thinking about getting advise from an expert on the field before I face Baller. But I'm not into that stuff, so I need to ask. Who'd you suggest?
DJ: I don't know. Shaq, maybe. He's a big wrestling fan too. Hell, Charles Barkley can give you some insider tips.
Matt: And here I was thinking Pamela Anderson or Eva Angelina would be better at the ball subject.
DJ: Wrong way there, Matt. Haha.
Matt: I love watching them, but that was just some turrible choices for this, I guess.
DJ: Hahahaha!
Matt: And there's the time with the Margarito/Cotto fight. Boy that was a doozy.
DJ: What happened?
Matt: We were organizing for the big fight. Food, ordering it and all that jazz.
DJ: OK.
Matt: Baller wanted to order the Pay-Per-View. We let him. Turrible mistake.
DJ: What happened?
Matt: We finish the show and all that. We shower, freshen up and stuff and head to the big locker room. There's pizza, soda, chicken, beer and a flatscreen. With PAPER, covering it.
DJ: Paper? Why?
Matt: You don't get it? He order "Paper-View".
DJ: Hahahahaha! That is "turrible". Did you get to see the fight?
Matt: Thank God for prelims, Sanders. That's all I've got to say.
DJ: Wow. Well anyway, you've also gotten a bit of a problem with the upcoming Lethal Lottery. You're the first entrant with an extended total of 25 participants.
Matt: I wouldn't call it impossible, Sanders. It can be done. Becky Serra of The 'Z's interviewers asked me the same thing. All I had in terms of a plan was to Deliver Kickassery.
DJ: Classic catchphrase.
Matt: But until I can shake off Baller, that's all I can think of. It's tough to think of something. You've got these "Destiny's Child"...
DJ: Son's of Destiny.
Matt: Righto. You've got Constantine and Steven Holmes and you've got your clan of bathrobe wearing weirdos under Ty Burna. And that's not counting the tag teams going in. It's got "Hard" written all over it. But I can feel it. There's a way through. I just need to find it, Sanders.
DJ: Well Matt, all I can say is good luck. But that's the end of this segment. After this we'll focus on other WZCW matters like what's it like in the ring, the injuries and the schedule and travelling and such. Stick with us, more Power Lunch after this!
Matt: But for now, I'll leave you with this number. It's Killswitch Engage, with their cover of Dio's "Holy Diver". The official theme song, of AfterShock. Catch me there this week when I face Mr. Baller and Deliver full on Kickassery on his ball loving behind.
[YOUTUBE]v-NJ2rUz2yQ[/YOUTUBE]
Matt leans on the equipment as the song plays. Thoughts on his matches go through his head as he tries to relax for a bit.
Matt: I can do this. And I'm so far having fun doing this.
?: I'm sure this distraction will cost you soon enough.
Matt: Guess we'll see...
A voice in a void of darkness echoes loud. A familiar voice to the man called Matt Tastic.
?: You had them. You really had them. But you chose to let your ego guide you. You somehow out-ego'ed the biggest egomaniacs in the company. Way to go.
Matt Tastic: Man, shut up! I don't need you on me like this. Go away.
?: You think that can get rid of me? My boy, I'm IN you. I am a part of you. Need me or not. I'm here. And you WILL hear me.
Matt: I can hear you all you want. But that doesn't mean you're right.
?: I'm not? I don't recall you winning your match.
Matt: Maybe. But I learned something from that.
?: Hah! What lesson could you have possibly have learned from that?
Matt: Sooner or later, if I stay clear, I'll reach my goals. I don't need your sick advise to win.
?: How do you figure that?
Matt: My performance this week. It was top notch. I went toe to toe with the man who won last years Lethal Lottery.
?: You still lost.
Matt: So?
?: SO?! SO?! You can't be serious.
Matt: I'm like a Super Saiyan. I get stronger from my losses. I keep gaining more and more strength. As time goes on, the more experience I get.
?: Super Saiyan?! How immature.
Matt: Sticks and stones. You misguided me last week. I won't let that happen again. I am the World's Greatest. But sick training and determination are not gonna get me there. Because if I did that, I'd end up like Ty Burna.
?: Really? How so?
Matt: I'd be at the top, but I'd also be one bitter piece of loathsome crap. And I'd never want to be like that again.
?: So you'd rather be a happy failure than a bitter success?
Matt: Pretty much, voice in the void.
?: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....................................!!!!!!!! Alright. You got me. You're right. Being bitter is not particularly fun.
Matt: The crowds. They loved me. They really do admire me despite my shortcomings.
?: They're fools, son. They associate with whoever they can relate to. You're a perfect match. Uncoordinated, easily distracted, often miserable, absent minded...
Matt: Cute. For a voice inside my head, you sure are supportive of me.
?: If you can't figure out why, you're a bigger fool than I thought.
Matt: It would be the first time you're right. I am a fool. Look at me. Week in and week out I lose. It all started spiraling down after I turned my back on a friend and all the fan's that followed me and looked up to me. I acted erratically at the first sight of decline in my career. And it dug me deeper. But I've cleared my mind. I'm not guided by selfish, erratic emotions anymore. Now, I'm guided by the enjoyment I get by going out and entertaining the fans. I can finally say I have a sense of accomplishment. Now screw you, I have stuff to do.
The mystery of the voice goes on however, as Matt seems to be waking up.
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Backstage at a house show, Matt Tastic finds himself in the locker room area dressing up for a match with Alisha close by.
Alisha: You know, you've been acting a tad weird since that loss to Toyota.
Matt: I have?
Alisha: Yes! You talk and moan in your sleep, you wake up in a cold sweat, you've trained uncontrollably, you yanked out an IV out of your arm, hell look at your arm!
Matt looks at his arm as a nasty black spot can be seen close to the elbow pit area.
Matt: You think it's infected?
Alisha: No kidding! Go to the EMT's for a moment and have them check that out. That cannot be normal at all.
Matt: Righto.
A moment of silence comes by with the two just sitting and thinking for a bit.
Matt: Alisha...
Alisha: Yeah...
Matt: Thanks. For always being there for me. You've stayed close by no matter what and never left when I turned on people. I appreciate you being there for me at every turn.
Alisha blushes.
Alisha: You're... You're welcome.
Matt gives a happy, gleeful smile as the camera fades.
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The scene opens with Matt standing tall with his arm heavily bandaged presumably from the infection mentioned earlier. He stands next to Becky Serra with an interview set in the background.
Becky: Well Matt. It took a while, but it seems tonight you scored a win.
Matt: I beat up 3 local guys, Becky. They weigh as much as I do.
Becky: Sounds like it was a challenge.
Matt: It's when you add up all three that they reach my weight, Becky.
Becky: Oh.
Matt: It's still a frustrating feeling. I may be in the Lethal Lottery match, I may be the first to qualify, but dammit to hell, why do I always come so close?
Matt sticks his good arm up to his face and with his thumb and index fingers motions for measurement. It's a very small measurement.
Matt: I was THAT damn close, Becky. That close to beating the #25 entry in the Lottery match and last years winner. Can you see it? Can you see the gap? After practically wrestling a 60 minute match in 10, I got zilch. It's a wonderful life. #1 For the win. ...f*ck....
Matt facepalms in slight frustration.
Becky: It's a shame. But cheer up. You're bound to bounce back eventually.
Matt: You're damn right. I'm just like a Super Saiyan, Becky. If I win, I'm strong. If I lose, I get stronger. That's the way of the Kickassery after all.
Becky: Showtime and Baller were tough opponents this week weren't they?
Matt: Yeah, they proved challenging. But I went in there and stood my ground. Firmly. Judge Sam Smith however you'd like, but I know my work was full throttle. I didn't skip a single beat. I had both Showy and Bally in the ropes. All it took for them to win though was a lousy 3 seconds.
Becky: You did have a very impressive showing.
Matt: Of course I did, Becky. Showy is just that. All Show. All his career, all he's done is lean on other people. Trevor Steele, Titus, Constantine, Stan Rogers and now Baller. If he doesn't have someone's help, he really isn't much. I'll admit Baller's come a long way. But he's still the same goof who was yelling "Believe That" next to a wannabe rapper. Remember those days? His partner's finisher was "Da Xtreme Knockout". "Da vad spelling, FTW". As good as he's gotten, he is still one cocky and clueless son of a b*tch. And I truly apologize to his mother. It's a figure of speech. I'm sure she's disappointed enough in her son as it is. I mean, wouldn't you be disappointed if your son loved playing with balls but wasn't in sports?
Becky: But wrestling's a sport.
Matt: Not anymore, Becky. It's entertainment. Get with the times. Think of the bad examples we'd be setting on our children. We'd be telling them it's OK to play with those round things. We'd be teaching them to have a palm tree haircut. We'd be teaching them bad linguistics is OK.
Becky cuts Matt's rant off...
Becky: Matt, are you homophobic?
Matt: ...umm... No? Why would I... be... homophobic?
Becky: Because you've been making some comments about Baller that go that way.
Matt: Well, I apologize then. It is kinda of an insult to compare him to homosexuals. They deserve better.
Becky: Do you support gay marriage?
Matt: Becky, quit changing the subject!
Becky: Sorry.
Matt: But it's just freakin' weird how he goes everywhere with a damn basketball. Shaq never did it. Jordan never did. Magic never did it. Why's the palm tree headed wrestler doing it? I mean, he eat's with it. He goes places with it. He probably showers with the damn thing. It's weird, Becky. It's just freakin' weird. We've seen him sitting on a bench before a match talking to the damn thing and rubbing it. Like if it was a lamp or Wilson from Cast Away or some shit. You get what I'm saying?
Becky: I guess. Hope he's housebroken though.
Matt: You mean the ball or the pineapple head? Or the fleas in his ridiculous hair? Ah, whatever. Moving on.
Becky: Well then, this week we got the answer as to what got into Wasabi Toyota that led to you almost getting injured. What are your thoughts on Toyota Wasabi being revealed as a member of Ty's Apostles?
Matt: It explains a lot. That Ty is one creepy dude controlling peoples minds and slapping bathrobes over them. Pretty weird how a guy who loves to create anarchy is the one who maintains order on the show though. You'd think the set's would be falling apart and the crowds would be on fire with Ty in charge. I mean, he does worship disorder and stuff.
Becky: It would seem his influence may have also reached S.H.I.T. too.
Matt: Watch your mouth, Becky. It's unbecoming of you. His influence is shit though.
Becky: No, no. I meant the wrestler.
Matt: Oh. Call Steve Jo... Wait a minute. Nevermind. Why's the bastard lovechild of Satan and Criss Angel so interested in ruling a damn wrestling company anyway? Isn't the Anti-Christ supposed to focus in... I don't know... the whole free world? But, whatever boners his wiener I guess.
Becky reacts to the comment by raising her head quickly and giving a disturbed look at Matt.
Becky: ...Alright then... weird... Your thoughts on Steven Holmes and Constantine attacking Gordito?
Matt goes from cheerful to deadpan serious in an instant.
Matt: Pretty mad about it, Becky. I am not proud of the stuff I did last year. Injuring Gordito after becoming jealous of him is easily one of the things I'm most ashamed of.
Becky: Why didn't you help?
Matt: It hurts, but... It's not my place, Becky. I can't just jump in like that. Otherwise, the locker room would've cleared out there.
Becky: But you still owe him an apology.
Matt: Yes, but I'd be interjecting myself in someone else's business. What if he doesn't want my help? But anyway Becky, I have problems of my own. I'm #1 after all.
Becky: But you'd be willing to help him in the Lethal Lottery match, right?
Matt: ............I guess. Though I wouldn't guarantee I'd help him to the end. Or anyone. I wanna win the damned thing too, you know.
Becky: What's your plan going into it? You are *giggles* #1 afterall.
Matt: Great. The cutey has jokes now. I'll be honest though.
Matt stops and inhales greatly. He holds his breath with a puffed up chest for a bit.
Matt: Idonthaveafreakinclue. *huff* Deliver Kickassery, I guess. Get back to me next week. Maybe I'll have a better, more elaborate answer by then.
Becky: OK then. I've got other interviews to make anyway. Good luck with your preparations then and see you next week.
Matt: Thanks Becky. Now if you don't mind, I have an infection to get rid of.
Becky walks off as Matt looks at his bandaged arm. Thoughts run through his head regarding the interviews.
Matt: Sons Of Destiny. The Apostles Of Chaos. Steven and Constantine. Damn, there's a lot of stuff brewing. All these teams forming up just weeks before the Lottery. Winning that thing is bordering on the impossible right now.
Suddenly, a familiar voice peeks inside Matt's mind.
?: That sense of doubt. I told you. You have no hope.
Matt raises his head suddenly as the voice echoes through his head, reacting to it. Matt goes from a somewhat uncaring look, to one of slight despair.
Matt: My conscience is eating me alive...
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Skipping ahead to some time later, Matt knocks at an office door.
?: Come in!
Matt opens the door slowly. He's aware the voice was Vance Bateman, but with Ty Burna also in charge, it's never wrong to be a bit careful.
Vance: Matt, sit down. I have good news and slightly better news for you.
Matt: Really? But what are you talking about?
Vance: See Matt, you still owe the merchandise department about 200 dollar for those masks you threw away.
Matt: ...yeah...
Vance: You also owe the billing department about 600 for the huge electric bills you've ramped up by staying in a closet at the central offices.
Matt: ...umm...
Vance: The janitor could use a tip too for cleaning up after you.
Matt: OK, this isn't sounding like good news right now.
Vance: Hold on, I'm getting there. Oh, there's also an endorsement with Burger King you cost us. That was about 300 bucks...
Matt: This could go on a while...
Vance: You have Gordito's medical bill to cover and... WAIT! That reminds me. William Teach's medical bill is also on your hands...
Matt: That's it. I need a soda...
Matt gets up and out of the room and heads to the hallway towards a vending machine. Vance is still listing stuff.
Vance: There's an unusual amount of fast food deliveries and porn downloads all under your name...
Eventually Matt returns with a Pepsi in his hand. Vance is still listing stuff.
Vance: There's a lawsuit from a Mr. McDonald's for defamation of character, 3 DUI's, which is odd, because I thought you didn't drink.
Matt: I don't.
Vance: Huh. Guess Alisha has been driving off with your license again.
Matt: Damn mask. Why'd I have to get a license with my picture wearing a mask?
Vance: However...
Matt: FINALLY!
Vance: The board of directors, me and Ty Burna...
Matt: That just sounds weird. Ty Burna and board of directors in the same sentence in agreement.
Vance: Tell me about it. Anyway, we've reached two agreements about you. Number one, this week you'll face Mr. Baller at Aftershock.
Matt: Balls to walls. I almost had him and Showy last week. I'll get him this time.
Vance: Number two, we found something for you to do so you can pay back the thousands you owe us.
Matt: Shit, really? What is it?
Vance: A promoting gig.
Matt: A what?
Vance: You will go to various places and promote WZCW. No payment though. In return, WZCW will pay for business related flights, hotel stays, 4 foods a day and land transportation for you and Alisha.
Matt: Wait, you all came up with this? Even Ty?
Vance: Well, Ty wasn't really paying attention. I mean he probably signed the contract just to get us out of the way.
Matt: Does main event level contracts really pay enough freakin' buy a show? That's counter productive.
Vance: I don't know where he got enough money to BUY Meltdown. But he did it.
Matt: He didn't say a thing?
Vance: Actually, he did make a comment when we were discussing you.
Matt: What was it?
Vance: "He calls himself the Worlds Greatest, but he doesn't bother to specify what's he the greatest at?" Then someone else went You're right! What if he was a great cook. Or a great comedian. Or a great spokesperson. He could really be the world's greatest. Well, close anyway. Brilliant idea, Ty. He'lll be our new spokesperson since Steamboat Ricky left."
Matt: His reaction?
Vance: *Pfft* He then turned up his music and just.. Fell asleep.
Matt: Regardless, it sounds like a pretty great gig. When do I start?
Vance hands a paper to Matt.
Vance: Here's your schedule for the month of February. For now, you'll be doing appearances locally wherever WZCW is to promote upcoming events at the arenas. In a few weeks you'll start flying to other places and fly back for TV tapings and 2 or 3 house shows.
Matt: Sounds pretty hefty.
Vance: It is. Your first appearance is this week at a radio talk show.
Matt: Hey! I have a TV taping scheduled and then I have to fly to Japan for an interview less than 24 hours later? How the hell can I do that? It's about a 25 hour flight.
Vance: It's a phone interview, goof.
Matt: Oh. Well then, guess I'm heading to Sanford, Florida for a radio interview. Hey, my dad used to live there.
Vance: Great then. I wish you good luck then and if you need anything, don't be afraid to call.
Matt: 'Kay then. Thanks too. I won't screw this up.
Vance: I hope...
Matt gets up and shakes Vance's hand and takes off with his schedule paper in hand. As he walks off, a familiar voice rears in Matt's head.
?: Can't wait to see you screw this up, international man...
Matt's expression goes from happy to worried near instantly.
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DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to KFCU Radio's "Power Lunch"! This is your host, DJ Sanders! Now for our first segment, as promised yesterday for all you wrestling fans, we will have an in-studio chat with the former multi-time Mayhem Champion Matt Tastic!
Matt enters the studio and sits in front of DJ Sanders. He puts on his headset and is set to speak.
Matt: Hello, Sanford! This is WZCW Superstar, Matt Tastic taking over your airwaves and ambushing your ears with Kickassery.
DJ: How electrifying. Now Matt. Let's get to the meat of this. This coming week, you have a match with Mr. Baller. A one on one match.
Matt: Baller is an athletic guy. He goes out every week and all that, but... He's not the sharpest knife in the kitchen.
DJ: How so?
Matt: Let's just say... We've seen it.
DJ: Come on. Give us some backstage stories.
Matt: OK. Funny story here. This was back in say... Last year. I was in my 4th Mayhem title reign and he was teaming with James Baker. You know, the Ghetto Stars.
DJ: Yeah.
Matt: When we do TV tapings, we normally all stay in the same hotel near the arena. So there was this one time we were in New York. I was eating in a local food court with Chris Beckford and a ref I believe. We were just chatting, nothing important. When Mr. Baller comes in running towards up. Giggling. You know, that giggling you do when you fart and no one noticed?
DJ: Yeah.
Matt: We're just eating there, but we can't ignore him cause he's right next to us with his damn basketball. He goes "guess what, dawgs". I look at him irritated and respond "what?". He's still giggling like an idiot and says "I was outside messing with the taxi drivers". Beckford get's a bit curious now and asks "What did you do?". This was Ballers response. With all the swagger he could dish out, he says "I told the drivers to take me to Jersey and gave them the money... *giggles* ...But I didn't get on!" Then he starts laughing all motivated and running around like if it was funny or cool.
DJ: Hahahahahaha!!! Really? He really did that?
Matt: I'm not sure if he was doing that or just saying it to get our attention, but the little dude sounded awfully motivated.
DJ: And what was your response?
Matt: "That's great Baller. Why don't you go to the Boroughs down the block? Play with your ball there."
DJ: That's just crazy.
Matt: I was thinking about getting advise from an expert on the field before I face Baller. But I'm not into that stuff, so I need to ask. Who'd you suggest?
DJ: I don't know. Shaq, maybe. He's a big wrestling fan too. Hell, Charles Barkley can give you some insider tips.
Matt: And here I was thinking Pamela Anderson or Eva Angelina would be better at the ball subject.
DJ: Wrong way there, Matt. Haha.
Matt: I love watching them, but that was just some turrible choices for this, I guess.
DJ: Hahahaha!
Matt: And there's the time with the Margarito/Cotto fight. Boy that was a doozy.
DJ: What happened?
Matt: We were organizing for the big fight. Food, ordering it and all that jazz.
DJ: OK.
Matt: Baller wanted to order the Pay-Per-View. We let him. Turrible mistake.
DJ: What happened?
Matt: We finish the show and all that. We shower, freshen up and stuff and head to the big locker room. There's pizza, soda, chicken, beer and a flatscreen. With PAPER, covering it.
DJ: Paper? Why?
Matt: You don't get it? He order "Paper-View".
DJ: Hahahahaha! That is "turrible". Did you get to see the fight?
Matt: Thank God for prelims, Sanders. That's all I've got to say.
DJ: Wow. Well anyway, you've also gotten a bit of a problem with the upcoming Lethal Lottery. You're the first entrant with an extended total of 25 participants.
Matt: I wouldn't call it impossible, Sanders. It can be done. Becky Serra of The 'Z's interviewers asked me the same thing. All I had in terms of a plan was to Deliver Kickassery.
DJ: Classic catchphrase.
Matt: But until I can shake off Baller, that's all I can think of. It's tough to think of something. You've got these "Destiny's Child"...
DJ: Son's of Destiny.
Matt: Righto. You've got Constantine and Steven Holmes and you've got your clan of bathrobe wearing weirdos under Ty Burna. And that's not counting the tag teams going in. It's got "Hard" written all over it. But I can feel it. There's a way through. I just need to find it, Sanders.
DJ: Well Matt, all I can say is good luck. But that's the end of this segment. After this we'll focus on other WZCW matters like what's it like in the ring, the injuries and the schedule and travelling and such. Stick with us, more Power Lunch after this!
Matt: But for now, I'll leave you with this number. It's Killswitch Engage, with their cover of Dio's "Holy Diver". The official theme song, of AfterShock. Catch me there this week when I face Mr. Baller and Deliver full on Kickassery on his ball loving behind.
[YOUTUBE]v-NJ2rUz2yQ[/YOUTUBE]
Matt leans on the equipment as the song plays. Thoughts on his matches go through his head as he tries to relax for a bit.
Matt: I can do this. And I'm so far having fun doing this.
?: I'm sure this distraction will cost you soon enough.
Matt: Guess we'll see...
After another victory for Mr. Baller, this time teaming up with Showtime David Cougar over Sam Smith and Matt Tastic, Cougar and Baller are seen shaking hands in the backstage area. Cougar then heads off towards his locker room, and Baller heads to his. Baller grabs a towel from a crewmember and begins to wipe the sweat off his face. With the towel covering his eyes, Baller is blinded yet continues to walk straight ahead, however, he does not notice Leon Kensworth, and brushes into him.
Baller: Watch where you walking Leon.
Leon: Sorry. I wasnt walking anywhere though you brushed into me.
Baller: You shouldve told me to stop then, what the heck is wrong with you? Its like you purposely let me walk into you, so you can interview the hottest superstar in WZCW right now and the next WZCW World Champ.
Leon: Well, no. If I saw you I wouldve told you to stop.
Baller: Dont flatter yourself Leon. We both know the truth here. But heck if its an interview you want, its an interview you will get.
Leon: Uhh ok.
Leon doesnt know what to ask Baller.
Baller: Whats the matter Leon? Cat got your tongue?
Leon: Yeah I guess. I mean there isnt much to ask you right now. I mean you didnt get the pinfall in your match this week, and you dont even have an opponent for next week yet. Plus you caught me a little off guard for this interview.
Baller sighs
Baller: I guess its off to find Becky then. She always has some dumb questions to ask anyways.
Baller begins to head off, but Leon quickly goes after him.
Leon: Wait up Baller. I think I can up with a few questions for you.
Baller: Its about time then Leon. What do you got for me?
Leon: Well you have won 4 or 5 matches in a row now, and seem to be on the best run of your career. Will this run have an effect on you come Lethal Lottery?
Baller: Absolutely Leon. When you are as talented as I am, and starting to rack up win after win after win, and gain as much confidence as I have then I am unbeatable. I know it and so do the other competitors. Then you add in the fact that I am the 25th and final entrant into said match and its a done deal. You might as well pencil me in for Kingdom Come now.
Leon: What was it like teaming up with Showtime for the first time in your career?
Baller: You really are reaching for questions here Leon. But anyways I dont like Showtime; I dont really like anybody here in WZCW. However, Showtime is like me in the fact that all he cares about is winning. I can respect that but that doesnt mean what Showtime wants is what he is going to get. Come Lethal Lottery there are no tag teams, there are no friends, just 1 vs. 24. Showtime wont have me to save him come Lethal Lottery.
Leon: Uhh Showtime picked up the win for your team this week.
Baller: Did you watch the match Leon? I put the team on my back, yeah Showtime got the win, he also did nothing else in that match. He stood on the outside and just watched me ball like I always do, and then just picked up the scraps. Besides its not like it matters, the match was never in danger against those two scrubs Sam Smith and Matt Tastic.
As Baller finishes that sentence, Leons ringtone for his cell phone goes off.
Baller: Way to stay classy Leon, having your cell phone going off during an interview.
Leon: Its from Ty Burna.
Baller: What does it say then?
Leon squints at the phone.
Leon: Tell that fool Baller that next week he is main eventing Aftershock 1 on 1 against Matt Tastic.
Baller: How the hell did he know I was talking to you?
Leon: I have no idea.
Baller and Leon then searching all around them for signs of Ty Burna, but ultimately they cant find any trails of Ty.
Leon: That is really weird. Well anyway what are your thoughts on your match this week?
Baller: Excellent.
Leon: Why is that excellent?
Baller: Its good practice. I dont get many main events in this company but come Kingdom Come there wont be much choice. Whether its Matt Tastic or Kurtesy the result will be the same. I will not lose come this week on Aftershock, Lethal Lottery or Kingdom Come. It is simply inevitable, and thats a damn fact. Tastic is entering first in the Lottery for a reason, and I am entering last for a reason. Because I pinned Tastic last month to earn that last spot.
I am better then him, I have beaten so many times over the past couple of weeks, and this week will be no different. I am too good for Tastic just like I am too good for everybody else in this damn business.
Aftershock is only the beginning of the main event era for the next WZCW World Heavyweight Champion, and you better believe that!
Baller walks off and heads to his locker room
Baller: Watch where you walking Leon.
Leon: Sorry. I wasnt walking anywhere though you brushed into me.
Baller: You shouldve told me to stop then, what the heck is wrong with you? Its like you purposely let me walk into you, so you can interview the hottest superstar in WZCW right now and the next WZCW World Champ.
Leon: Well, no. If I saw you I wouldve told you to stop.
Baller: Dont flatter yourself Leon. We both know the truth here. But heck if its an interview you want, its an interview you will get.
Leon: Uhh ok.
Leon doesnt know what to ask Baller.
Baller: Whats the matter Leon? Cat got your tongue?
Leon: Yeah I guess. I mean there isnt much to ask you right now. I mean you didnt get the pinfall in your match this week, and you dont even have an opponent for next week yet. Plus you caught me a little off guard for this interview.
Baller sighs
Baller: I guess its off to find Becky then. She always has some dumb questions to ask anyways.
Baller begins to head off, but Leon quickly goes after him.
Leon: Wait up Baller. I think I can up with a few questions for you.
Baller: Its about time then Leon. What do you got for me?
Leon: Well you have won 4 or 5 matches in a row now, and seem to be on the best run of your career. Will this run have an effect on you come Lethal Lottery?
Baller: Absolutely Leon. When you are as talented as I am, and starting to rack up win after win after win, and gain as much confidence as I have then I am unbeatable. I know it and so do the other competitors. Then you add in the fact that I am the 25th and final entrant into said match and its a done deal. You might as well pencil me in for Kingdom Come now.
Leon: What was it like teaming up with Showtime for the first time in your career?
Baller: You really are reaching for questions here Leon. But anyways I dont like Showtime; I dont really like anybody here in WZCW. However, Showtime is like me in the fact that all he cares about is winning. I can respect that but that doesnt mean what Showtime wants is what he is going to get. Come Lethal Lottery there are no tag teams, there are no friends, just 1 vs. 24. Showtime wont have me to save him come Lethal Lottery.
Leon: Uhh Showtime picked up the win for your team this week.
Baller: Did you watch the match Leon? I put the team on my back, yeah Showtime got the win, he also did nothing else in that match. He stood on the outside and just watched me ball like I always do, and then just picked up the scraps. Besides its not like it matters, the match was never in danger against those two scrubs Sam Smith and Matt Tastic.
As Baller finishes that sentence, Leons ringtone for his cell phone goes off.
Baller: Way to stay classy Leon, having your cell phone going off during an interview.
Leon: Its from Ty Burna.
Baller: What does it say then?
Leon squints at the phone.
Leon: Tell that fool Baller that next week he is main eventing Aftershock 1 on 1 against Matt Tastic.
Baller: How the hell did he know I was talking to you?
Leon: I have no idea.
Baller and Leon then searching all around them for signs of Ty Burna, but ultimately they cant find any trails of Ty.
Leon: That is really weird. Well anyway what are your thoughts on your match this week?
Baller: Excellent.
Leon: Why is that excellent?
Baller: Its good practice. I dont get many main events in this company but come Kingdom Come there wont be much choice. Whether its Matt Tastic or Kurtesy the result will be the same. I will not lose come this week on Aftershock, Lethal Lottery or Kingdom Come. It is simply inevitable, and thats a damn fact. Tastic is entering first in the Lottery for a reason, and I am entering last for a reason. Because I pinned Tastic last month to earn that last spot.
I am better then him, I have beaten so many times over the past couple of weeks, and this week will be no different. I am too good for Tastic just like I am too good for everybody else in this damn business.
Aftershock is only the beginning of the main event era for the next WZCW World Heavyweight Champion, and you better believe that!
Baller walks off and heads to his locker room
- Status
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