August 17th, 2013
Joey Sexton drops the mic and walks away, pumped full of adrenaline from delivering an electrifying promo, and blissfully unaware of what awaits him around the corner of the hallway. He rounds the corner and comes face to face with a mysterious man in a suit.
Sexton: Who the hell are you?
Mysterious Man: It doesn't matter who I am. All that matters is who you are. And I know who you are, Skip Rogers.
Joey stops dead in his tracks, and waits for what feels like a lifetime before responding.
Sexton (quietly): Skip Rogers is dead.
Mysterious Man: Indeed he is, but Joey Sexton is alive and well is he not? Our organization has been watching you for quite some time Mr. Sexton, and we are impressed with this metamorphosis you have undergone.
Sexton: Tell me your name.
Mysterious Man: My name is merely Ducard, but I speak for a man named Ra's al Ghul.
Sexton: ...
Mysterious Man: It's a Batman reference. Batman Begins.
Sexton: That still doesn't explain what this is about.
Mysterious Man: It's about you, Mr. Sexton. It's about your story.
Sexton: ...
Mysterious Man: Your story, Mr. Sexton. An epic quest of self discovery! An adventure spanning the globe! A tale of heroes and villains and sexual perversion the likes of which the world have never seen! The story of Joey Sexton must be told!
Sexton: What did you have in mind exactly...
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September 3rd 2013
A spotlight illuminates the center of the room, where Joey Sexton and the mysterious man are seated opposite one another. Several cameras surround the both of them, capturing what will undoubtedly be a groundbreaking television event.
Mysterious Man: Ladies and gentlemen I am being joined tonight by professional wrestler Joey Sexton, for the first part in our documentary series. Joey was recently awarded a full time contract with WZCW, the culmination of a journey--
Sexton: Let me stop you right there.
Mysterious Man: Very well.
Sexton: T
hat contract was merely another step in the journey, the culmination will be the WZCW World Heavyweight Championship.
Mysterious Man: Indeed. But an important milestone nonetheless. A milestone you have been working for years to achieve, training all over the world.
Sexton: Indeed.
Mysterious Man: I understand that on your travels you spent a considerable amount of time in Mexico, a country with a rich wrestling heritage.
Sexton: I worked for the legendary Mexican promoter Juan Manuel Rodrigo Lopez Juvitud Psicosis Super Crazy Guerrero, who of course once wrestled as Burrito Mask IV. Not to be confused with Burrito Mask 4, a legend in his own right.
Mysterious Mask: And in his promotion you took part in what was, at the time, the highest profile match of your career. A Hair vs. Mask Match against the extremely popular masked luchadore El Hombre Murciélago.
Sexton: And what a match it was.
Mysterious Man: Let's take a trip back now to Arena México, deep in the heart of Mexico City, Mexico, for this classic match from the career of Joey Sexton. Mexico.
Sexton: Ah yes, I remember it like it was yesterday...30 000 people in Arena México all chanting my name...
Mysterious Man: Does Arena México even hold 30 000 people...
Sexton: ...It did that night.
Announcer: ...EL HOMBREEEEE MURCIÉLAAAAAAAAGOOOOOOO!!!
The crowd roars in approval as the masked man extends his cape and begins his descent from the rafters of the arena. He is dressed in black from head to toe and appears almost demonic in nature, with horns on each side of his mask.
Sexton: During that time, I actually didn't wrestle under the name Joey Sexton. Since I was working in Mexico I wanted a name with more of a Latin flair, so I wrestled under the alias “Carlos Danger”.
Mysterious Man: Fascinating.
Sexton: It really helped me to win over the Mexican audience.
Joey Sexton enters to a loud chorus of boos. He circles the ring clapping his hands, as if to feed off of the energy from the crowd. He takes off the poncho and sombrero he wore to the ring, revealing a pair of extremely tight wrestling trunks with CARLOS plastered across the ass. He gets hit in the head with a piece of trash thrown by a fan.
Sexton: I also wanted to incorporate some of the Mexican lucha libre style into my repertoire, so I began using a new signature move.
Mysterious Man: To those who may be unfamiliar, the lucha libre style is known for being quite fast-paced and high-flying, with some incredibly intricate athletic moves.
El Hombre Murciélago rushes towards Sexton, and flips around behind him, looking for a headscissors takedown. Sexton catches him part way through the move and counters it with a side slam. He points towards the top turnbuckle, playing to the crowd, but is met with another cascade of boos. He climbs up to the top rope as his opponent slowly gets up to his feet. His opponent turns around as Joey flies off the top, soaring majestically through the air. The 16 000 fans in attendance hold their breath in anticipation, and proceed to let out a collective groan as Sexton connects with an axe handle.
Mysterious Man: Absolutely amazing.
Sexton: You know on that night I really learned that if you want to achieve success, sometimes you need to take risks. One of many valuable lessons from my travels over the years. In Japan I--
Mysterious Man: Would you say that this match was one of your all-time favourites?
Sexton: Definitely. My victory of El Hombre Murciélago was one of the defining moments of my early career, and that's why my upcoming match against Anthony Corvus on Aftershock 27 is so important.
Sexton turns and looks directly into the camera.
Sexton: Anthony Corvus, I am going to do to you exactly what I did to El Hombre Murciélago all those years ago in Mexico City--
Mysterious Man: Are you cutting a promo right now?
Sexton looks back at the Mysterious Man.
Sexton: Yeah, I though this would be a good lead-in.
Mysterious Man: For fuck sakes. Alright then.
Sexton faces the camera again. He takes out the mask of El Hombre Murciélago and holds it up to the camera.
Sexton: Corvus, when I look at you I can't help but think of El Hombre Murciélago. You wear black, you hide your face, and you think you're some kind of super hero. Well let me tell you something Corvus. El Hombre Murciélago wasn't a hero, and neither are you. The real hero is the Sexcellence of Sexecution, Joey Sexton. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm here to bring sexy back and I'm here to save WZCW. I'm the hero this company needs.
You know Corvus, my mentor once told me that to make yourself more than just a man, you must devote yourself to an ideal, and that's exactly what I've done. I'm devoted to the ideal that sex sells, and I have become more than just a man. I have become something else entirely...a legend, Anthony Corvus. Joey Sexton is a living legend.
Mysterious Man: Ha. Batman references.
Sexton: I thought you might like that.
Mysterious Man: Indeed.
Sexton: ...So you thought it was a good promo?
Mysterious Man: Yeah it was good.
Sexton: You're not just saying that right, like you actually though it was good.
Mysterious Man: Yeah really, I thought it was good, I'm not just saying that.
Sexton: You're sure?
Mysterious Man: Yeah I'm sure, it was good Joey, I swear to god--
Sexton: SWEAR TO ME!!!
Mysterious Man: Well played.