Bear Hug said:
Grizzly turns around, only to find Deedee slumped on the hood of his car. For the first time since they had met, the fiery female looked completely at peace... except for the snoring. Grizzly smiled, gently placed her on his shoulder and started the long walk back to his home.
Deedee wakes up alone on a massive mattress, her honey blonde hair smelling of smoke and diesel. Her stout legs swing over the logs that constitute the bed frame and she sits up. Her hands flail distractedly at a bedside table, giving her reason to pause.
No alarm clock, no reading glasses, no coffee-stained copy of Cosmo...
She is not at her own home.
This realisation hits her moments before the hangover does. She slumps back down on the bed, temporarily putting aside the social question of where she woke up in favour of the more pressing biological issue of her splitting headache. The oversized, downy pillow does provide her with some comfort as she clutches her forehead. Peering through the gap between middle and index fingers, she spots a faded piece of paper and a jug filled with a reddish liquid next to the bed.
Made your elf ass hum.
Fixed you Bloody. Marry bitch.
Broke fat into ridge swell.
Groggily she rubs her eyes, smearing her eyeliner even further. She gives the cryptic note another go.
Make yourself at home.
Fixed you a Bloody Mary pitcher.
Breakfast in the fridge as well.
After recalling a farmers market, meeting a gruff woodsman who turned out not to be Ultimate Red and a vague amount of liquorice-laced moonshine, Deedee stumbles to her feet. The vermillion rays seeping in through the cracks in the wooden walls are coming from the wrong side. It isn’t a beautiful daybreak. Instead, it is a setting sun.
*****
Whistling a merry tune,
Grizzly Bob swings open the heavy cabin door.
Grizzly: Home, sweet home...
The unfamiliar sight of a woman in his home greeted him, more so than the lady herself. Grizzly’s gruff chequered shirt hugged her loosely. Dwarfed by the flannel ensemble, the burly broad almost appeared dainty – except for the axe that she was brandishing.
Grizzly: Hello Deedee, looks like somebody’s been in my wardrobe. Raided my shed, too, by the looks of it...
Deedee: I needed a shower and a change of clothing. What’s a gal to do? Now you’ve got yerself some explainin’ to do, mister, before I cut off what’s botherin’ you!
Bob is taken aback by the sudden threat to his future offspring.
Grizzly: What’s on your mind?
Deedee: I wake up in a strange man’s cabin in the middle of nowhere with a rec’lection of how I got here that’s foggy at best. THAT’s what's on my mind! I swear, if you did sum’thin’ to me... I’m not the kind of trailer-skank that’d give the likes of you the milk for free without you buying the cow!
Bob doubles over and slaps his knee, bellowing with laughter.
Deedee: And WHAT, may I ask, is so gosh-darn funny?
Grizzly: You don’t remember?
Deedee’s eyes narrow even further. Axe in hand, she steps closer to Bob.
Deedee: I don’t remember WHAT?
Grizzly: We had a couple of drinks, you passed out on my truck, I carried you home on my shoulder like a sack of yams, tucked you in and I slept on the couch, next to Digger. He wasn’t crazy about sharing his bed, either. Apparently I snore.
Deedee: So that’s why my gut’s a li’l sore?
Grizzly: I swear I never laid a hand on you except to give you a place to sleep.
Deedee tosses the axe aside. Its handle falls limply to the floorboards. She studies Bob with her eyes and realises that there’s no deceit in him. Her full lips form first a smirk, then a giggle and soon she and Grizzly were sharing a hearty laugh.
Deedee: I mean... Imagine how I felt...
Deedee wipes a laughter-induced tear from her cheek.
Grizzly: I wouldn't dream of takin' advantage of a fine lady such as yourself. That's just not how we do things in my house.
Deedee: I should’a known. Look at you! We sure had fun, though, didn’t we?
As they fall silent once more, their smiling eyes meet.
Deedee: Say, where’d you sneak off to, anyway?
Grizzly: Told you I’m a workin’ man. Had myself a match.
Deedee: And?
Grizzly: It was fun. We stuck it to each other good.
Deedee tilts her head to one side.
Deedee: That’s not what I meant, pumpkin. How did it go?
Grizzly: Oh... that...
Grizzly lets out a giant sigh, as only a giant of his calibre can. His hairy chest swells, but retracts again.
Grizzly: I lost, but never you mind that. It was a helluva fight and the good folks who supported us got to see a big ol’ brawl.
The next silence would not be as satisfied as the first. Even in the sweaty mountain air, if felt cold somehow.
Grizzly’s grin gradually vanishes, but Deedee puts a gentle hand on his arm.
Deedee: You know, pork chop... You ain’t a good liar. Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?
Stoically, Grizzly nods at her.
Grizzly: Actually, it hasn’t been goin’ great for me. On a bit of a losin’ streak, to be honest.
Grizzly takes his leave of her and moves to his “kitchen” – an assortment of appliances, stacked on a high counter in his living room. His thumb finds the kettle’s switch.
Grizzly: Cuppa Joe?
While Bob fiddles with the cups and coffee, Deedee drapes herself onto a comfy rocking chair.
Deedee: Milk, no sugar.
Grizzly: First I had a huge match-up against a guy I respect – The Beard. We had some great scraps before and it culminated at Kingdom Come. You see, that’s the huge event every year-
Deedee: I know about Kingdom Come, silly.
Grizzly: Anyhow, it was a big contest that I lost. I also couldn’t go by the title “manliest man in WZCW” anymore. Normally I wouldn’t mind losin' a silly nickname like that, because my manhood don’t come from guzzlin’ beer and shootin’ guns, but every time they call him that, it reminds me of how I came in second and it stings a little, you know?
The water comes to a boil. Grizzly unplugs the device and pours two scoopfuls of instant coffee.
Grizzly: Then management creates the Gold Rush Tournament – winner gets a crack at the champ. My match gets switched last minute and I go up against Mikey Stormrage and I lose that too!
The milks swirls into the pitch black drink, before colouring it muddy.
Grizzly: All of a sudden, they tell me this week I’m back on Aftershock, right where I started and they send this new kid up against me. Really nice kid, by the way, but green as a John Deere on St Patrick’s Day. I’m thinkin’ to myself: “Golly, how did this happen?”
Deedee: I can understand that you’re not a broody kind of man who dwells on past mistakes too long, but you gotta acknowledge where you’ve been to understand where you are now.
Grizzly: I know, I know, but I don’t think I’ve EVER had such a rough patch.
Deedee: Well, Bobby Boy, then from here there’s but one direction and that’s up!
A certain change befalls Bob. His deep baritone picks up. Deedee notices.
Grizzly: Did you know that the next pay-per-view’s going to be called “Redemption”? Now, I’m not one for astrawl’gy an’ all that hocus pocus, but if Redemption isn’t a sign of things to come for ol’ Grizzly Bob...
Deedee: First things first, though...Who’s this new guy?
Grizzly: Theron Daggershield - he’s got guts, I’ll give him that! He has a strong sense of right and wrong and he genuinely likes doing good to help his fellow man... or dwarf. He's good people, even if he's a little off the deep end with all those geeky games. In his mind he’s a chivalrous knight on quests about princesses and monsters, magic and what not, but if that kiddo needs a dragon to face, ol’ Bob here is happy to oblige.
Grizzly looks disdainfully at his cup and takes an unflinching swig of the hot drink. Extremely interested in Grizzly’s change in attitude, Deedee clasps her fingers around the armrests of her chair.
Grizzly: You see, I’m hurtin’ right now. I’m a bear with an arrow in its backside. The way I figure, that makes me more dang’rous than I’ve ever been!
The southern woman jumps to her feet.
Deedee: Is that so, big guy?
He turns away from Deedee, mistaking her reaction for caution.
Grizzly: I didn’t mean to fright’n you, Dee, and it breaks my heart that a stand-up guy like Theron has to be at the receivin’ end of my temper, BUT I’M PISSED OFF, DAMMIT!
Grizzly’s fists hammer down on the counter. Glasses shake and spice bottles spill over. With his hands still pressed against the linoleum, he peers at Deedee from over his shoulder.
Grizzly: He’s in the real world now and all the dice rolls in the world ain’t savin’ him. HMPH! He’ll be in that ring with ME and when it’s just the two of us, there ain’t a soul alive that’d be able to save him from the ass-whoopin’ that’s comin’ to him. No amount of luck or charisma is gonna be comin' to his aid. In a fight, a man is only as good as the fight in his heart and the power of his arm!
Deedee fans her somewhat heaving chest.
Grizzly: No knights, no monks, no Houdini pixie dust in there... it’ll be just me, sluggin’ it out on his nerdy hide.
Deedee strides over to Grizzly. Though only through his peripheral vision, he was hypnotised by the metronomic wiggle of her hips. He swivels toward her, blushing a ripe red hue.
Grizzly: Now I feel silly, gettin’ all riled up like that in front’a you. My pappy always said: “Son, in the presence of a lady-“
His voice trails off as Deedee dips her index finger into her mouth. Plump, pouty lips cover it as she slowly pulls it out again. She touches Grizzly’s own lips with it, hushing him. At that moment, all of Grizzly’s pent-up frustration seeped away, if only for a moment. Deedee’s bronze skin, flushed cheeks and soft blue eyes had him at full attention. Right then and there, he didn’t have a care in the world.
Deedee: Don’t say another word, sweetie... or else I won’t be responsible for what happens after. If a rough... rugged... man gets all angry like that... That’s the fightin’ spirit I want to see!
Playfully, she curls one leg backwards and starts to topple towards Grizzly, forcing him to catch her in his burly arms. When he does, however, Deedee takes a step back, chuckling.
Deedee: My, oh my! It seems like I DO have you at full attention...
Deedee starts s******ing as Grizzly looks down.
Grizzly: Oh ho, lookout! Looks like I got a li’l TOO excited.
Grizzly clears his throat, unsuccessfully trying to alleviate the awkwardness of the situation.
Grizzly: So, uhhh... Let me drive you home?
Deedee: I think that might be for the best, hun.
Grizzly feels a firm new confidence as his heart courses blood through him.
Grizzly Bob is on the rise!
