AF 16: Mister Alhazred vs Jacoby Capone

[Showtime]

Deadline is 11:59pm Central Time, Tuesday 8th January. Extensions as per thread.​

 

[smizzy]

“Welcome back to Heartland News at Nine,” chirped news anchor Jeff Cunningham. Flashing a bright smile, Cunningham turned in his chair and motioned toward a man seated next to him and announced, “You probably recognize my guest here. Over the past five months, Jacoby Capone has been lacing up the boots and taking on the world’s finest wrestlers in the wrestling promotion, WZCW. In fact, you may recognize our guest even if you’re not a wrestling fan, because, Jacoby Capone, you’re from around these parts aren’t you,” chuckled Cunningham.
The camera focused on Capone. He was sporting a grungy shirt that read “Grizzly Bear.” His hair was wild and his face grim and uninterested. Jacoby’s head was hanging slightly, he looking at his hands in his lap. He quietly mumbled, “Yes.”
“Not too far from this very studio?”
“Yes.”
“Our local celebrity,” chuckled Cunningham. “It was only years ago when you were attending high school minutes from our studio. Now you’re achieving your dream of-“
Capone was not listening. He knew this interview would turn out to be a terrible idea when he agreed to it. The last thing he caught from Cunningham was “achieving your dream” and some nonsense about his new fame. This was funny to Capone considering when he arrived at the studio, half of the staff mistook him for an intern, not a local fame who was there for an interview.
Cunningham, who was struggling to get some momentum rolling for the interview touched his earpiece. The producers were urging him to change the questions up a bit.
“You began your career with an immediate impact winning your first two matches,” Cunningham stated. He wasn’t sure, but he thought Capone rolled his eyes at this.
The new subject was no help. Capone was recalling the events from the Unscripted PPV.

Jacoby Capone was watching the action from backstage in full wrestling gear. He was prepared to fight Chris K.O. He was convinced he would be put in the match. Then the announcement came; he wouldn’t get the shot.
“God damnit!”
Jacoby reared his fist back as if about to punch the brick the wall he’d been leaning on before he thought better of it. Truth was, Capone’s frustration had been building ever since he’d seemingly lost all moment he had from his debut. Capone at this point was as unhappy with his place in the company as anyone. Another opportunity had come, and he was shot down. Then another piece of news came to him: he would after all be on the night’s card in a tag team match against the New Church. His partner was to be Mister Alhazred. Tag team action hadn’t been kind to Capone so far in his career but he was so disappointed at the denial of facing Chris K.O. that he was at least content with an opportunity to go out and kick and blow some steam in the ring. As for his partner, it was what it was. Alhazred and Capone had yet to cross paths. ​

“Now Jacoby, you’re recent PPV performance didn’t quite end the way you’d wished, did it?”
Through clenched teeth, Capone replied with, “No.”

A helpless Capone staggered in the ring while Alhazred was walking away from the match. New Church proceeded to delivered a Final Judgment on Capone who could do nothing but lay on his back counting lights as the ref slapped a three count. Eventually, Capone recovered and returned to the back. He grabbed his bag from the locker room and huffed toward the parking lot. He threw his bag in the backseat then climbed in the driver’s seat and screeched off into the black of the night. ​

Capone lifted his head and stared at Jeff Cunningham. “No, Jeff, it did not.”
“I’m guessing yourself and Alhazred won’t ever be bus buddies-“
Capone cut him off. He didn’t know why was saying this, but it came pouring out of his mouth.
“I’ve spent five months in WZCW. Ever since I won my first two matches, I’ve felt out of place. Out-matched. Cheated. Disliked. UNWANTED! I spent three second on my back at Unscripted and all of that no longer seems important. Three seconds turned my career. Three seconds on my back informed me, I have an enemy. Alhazred caused me to lose match in a despicable manner.”

Capone’s headlights reflected off a posted street sign that read “45 mph.” The interior lights showed his speedometer at 80 mph. The stereos blasted heavy music with droning guitars and after being compiled on top of the roar of the car engine, it sounded like Capone was in the middle of a warzone.
Capone’s anger was restless. He slowed the car down and whipped into a parking garage. He reached in the backseat and took out his coat. He was going to go for a walk. After exiting the garage, he saw a dimly lit sports bar across the street. Capone wasn’t a drinker, but on this night, he crossed the street and entered the bar. He seated himself at a stool. The bartender walked up to take his order.
​

“Wow, good stuff here from Jacoby Capone. If you’re just tuning into Heartland News at 9, I’m joined by WZCW superstar, as well as local celebrity, Jacoby Capone. That was an exciting little speech you just delivered, Capone. Something tells me, we haven’t seen the last of you and Alhazred have we?”
“I have a match with him on Aftershock. And to be honest, Jeff. I don’t care if I’m on the card against Alhazred or not. In fact, if he were in this studio right now-“
“Haha,” giggled Cunningham. “Easy there, tiger. Lucky for Alhazred, he is not in fact in this studio at the moment, but as you mention, you do face off with him on Aftershock.”

Capone stared into his half-empty glass. The buzz of his phone broke his concentration. He exchanged the glass in his hand for the cellphone. After a short conversation, (the phone call was a rep from a local news station from back home that wanted to do a live interview with him) Capone drained the remnants of his glass, laid down a twenty and a ten on the counter walked out of the door. ​

“Tell us, Capone. What do you think it will take to win your match against Alhazred?”
“Win? Throw that win, loss bullshit out of the window,” Cunningham’s face went scarlet and he tugged at his collar. “If I cared about stats, I would play baseball. Whether I win or lose, I only wish to hurt Alhazred. I’m worked my ass off in this company and have got nowhere to this point while veteran’s like him get prance out of matches as they please. I’m going to hurt Alhazred damn it-“
“It was a pleasure, Jacoby, but unfortunatley we’re about out of time. Heartland News wishes you the best and the community is very proud of their local talent. Over to the weather forecast with Bob Reeves…”
The interview had come to an abrupt end. Jacoby exited the studio with its faculty very frustrated with how the interview turned out. This was okay with Capone though. He really only agreed to the interview because gave him an excuse to visit his family. He climbed into his vehicle and drove off the lot. To this point in his career, he’d given WZCW everything he had. It was true that Capone was unhappy with how his career was developing thus far, but tonight he was going to forget about all of that and reconnect with some forgotten faces. Maybe this would turn his luck around.

 

[red ass skull muhfukkah]

Leon Kensworth is standing in a small studio area, behind him is a picture of a baby giraffe. Alhazred is standing in the background talking on his cell phone. He's wearing his ring gear with a t-shirt with a mustache on it over it. He walks next Leon and pats him on the back.

Leon: I'm standing here with the mad professor himself: Mister Alhazred. Mister Alhazred, the last few months have been very interesting for you to say the least. You competed in the Elite X League, had a few scuffles with Barbosa and SHIT and last Sunday at Unscripted you...

Alhazred sticks his Power Glove directly in Leon's face, squishing his nose.

Mister Alhazred: Let me stop you write there Kittensworth because I know where this is going. Now Leon, you and I have known each other for almost two years now. My first interview in this company was with you over the phone before I challenged for the Eurasian Championship at the Lethal Lottery that year. Out of all the interviewers around here I always go to you first. Do you know why Kittensworth?

Leon: Um...because you like to bully me and I'm an easy target?

Alhazred laughing softly: Well that's part of it but no, it's because I feel like you know me best. I've spilled my guts to you countless times over the years, more than anyone else. I would go as far as to call you my friend.

He smiles and rubs Leon's shoulder.

Alhazred: So knowing all of that, I'm a bit offended by the path your questions were no doubt heading down. You were going to say that I have been insignificant as of late. That I have been apart of great things but was not great myself. You're right, it's the truth. I've been blinded these past few months trying to better my life with Missy, arguing with Missy and now trying to find Missy, but no more! No more Leon. Unscripted was a wake up call for old Alhazred, for you see I realized that while I talk a big game week after week I have done absolutely nothing. Sure I've picked up a few wins here and there, I pinned Ricky and Barbosa clean, but in the end what have I gained? Am I any further along my path of greatness because of those wins? No because every opportunity I have to capitalize on my momentum and do something, the rug gets pulled from underneath me. A cheap roll up by Baller in the Elite X League, losing to Triple X in the League finals, failing to put down the machine, and finally being forced to tag with Capone of all people. Sure it's easy for me to blame other people, blame my partners, blame the company but in the end I blame only myself for how far I've fallen. A few months ago I was on the cusp of breaking into the main event, warring with Barbosa, SHIT, Ricky, Mystique and Bowen. Now I'm stuck in the midcard of Aftershock. Well my climb back to the top starts here and now. Each rung of the ladder is my opponents and each one shall meet the same fate: my boot stepping on their face.

He turns his neck and cracks it.

Alhazred: The first rung on that ladder is the young Jacoby Capone. I feel sorry for him, so early in his career and so much potential, only to get his neck broken by the WVD and his body destroyed by my Power Glove. I went into Unscripted expecting to team with Baller, an actual credible member of the roster. When I get to the arena I learn Baller didn't show up and instead I'll be teaming with Jacoby Capone. I tried to reason with the young boy, I tried to at least plot strategy. I may not be the most highly decorated of competitors here but what I do know are multi-man matches. So I try to work with him, give him some pointers on how to take down the New Church, but no, that hipster fuck was to cool for the likes of me. His tiny, little brain couldn't comprehend what it would have meant for he and I to take down the New Church. He decided he knew more than me, he decided he didn't want me, he decided he didn't need me. Well, how did that work out for you? We could have walked out of Unscripted with a win over one of the top tag teams around but instead I walked out of that arena after knocking you out and you had to be carried out. The New Church made an example out of you, but you sit there and blame them for that assault, you only have yourself to blame. Your arrogance and stupidity backed you into a corner that you couldn't get out of and led to you being annihilated.

Leon: So, you'll be looking for revenge this week?

Alhazred glares at Leon and shakes his head.

Alhazred: Have you not been listening Leon? This is not about revenge, this match is not about Jacoby Capone, this match is about me! Before you interrupted me with your pointless question I was leading to my point. All that happened at Unscripted shows me why I have to destroy you Capone. You are what is wrong with this company, with society, with the youth. You are so far up your own ass and worrying about listening to bands no one else knows about and mustache tattoos on your finger that you fail to understand what you have been given. You had a chance to break from the monotony that has been your career and most likely your life thus far. But your selfishness and need to be the center of attention got the best of you and almost cost your career last Sunday. Am I a little pissed off you attacked me mid match? Sure but I already got my revenge for that. This match on Aftershock is more than revenge, it's a lesson. I am teaching you to not be such a dumb fuck and I am teaching the rest of the roster that Alhazred is back to true form. Alhazred is back on his path to greatness. Capone, if I didn't have a deep hatred for you and what you stand for I would almost feel sorry for what I am going to do to you. But please, when the match is over and your wondering to yourself is this wetness I feel all over my body sweat, blood or urine? Don't be mad at me. Know that it had to be done. I have to smash your face until it's unrecognizable for the good of WZCW and for the good of humanity.

Leon: Have you had any luck finding Missy?

Alhazred: No, we've reached a dead end at the moment and I myself won't be searching as much as I was. I want to save her and I want her back but the search has strayed me from my goals. Fats will be constantly on the lookout for information and I will lend my hand when I can. For now my only focuses are conquering WZCW and the destruction of Jacoby Capone. I have no time for Mister's games, I have no time for hide and seek, and I certainly have no time to be twiddling my thumbs waiting for something to happen. I only have time to break bodies and devour souls with my Power Glove. One day Missy will be found and she will join me in my greatness but for now I fight alone.

Leon looks at the picture of a baby giraffe behind him, Alhazred looks at it and laughs.

Leon: So what's up with the baby giraffe?

Alhazred: Gufflefuck, Leon, gufflefuck.

Leon: What is gufflefuck?

Alhazred: Oh you haven't heard? Gufflfuck is the act of fucking someone so hard they shit a baby giraffe. That's what I'm going to do to Capone on Aftershock. Metaphorically of course.

Leon: Well that is certainly interesting as usual Mister Alhazred. Thanks for your time and we look forward to your match on Aftershock.

Alhazred: Wait, wait, wait we're not done yet. Fats is in the back with a little friend of mine that was supposed to be brought out when I explained gufflefuck but Fats is an incompetent lump of shit who was probably too bust stuffing his face. Fats get out here and bring it with you.

Fats comes walking out a cheeseburger in one hand and a leash attached to a baby giraffe in the other. The giraffe becomes enraged out of nowhere and headbutts Fats in the stomach. Fats loses his grip on the leash and the baby giraffe is on the loose. It charges at Leon and headbutts him to the ground. It begins to stomp on Leon, Fats tries to get him off, Alhazred is standing to the side laughing. Leon begins to get bloodied and Alhazred becomes worried. He attempts to get the giraffe away from Leon but can't control him. Finally Alhazred turns on his Power Glove and punches the giraffe in the neck. Unaware of his own strength he breaks the neck of the animal and it falls to the floor. Everyone just stares at the dead giraffe for a moment.

Alhazred: That's gonna be you Capone!

scene fades to black.