AAA: Rey De Reyes 2015 In Honor Of Irma Osorno

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After 2 delays, it's finally on and OH MY GOD has this show taken a MASSIVE attendance hit. The original arena before the rain held 17,000. They have about 800 due to all the unfortunate delays. Alberto is in Australia due to contractual obligations.

Match #1: Venum and Luxdor vs El Apache and Carta Brava Jr.

 

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The faces are ridiculously small. They're barely classified as full-sized wrestlers.

 

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Carta Brava no-sells Trouble In Paradise. Way to go, sonny.

 

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Apache is basically the Bill DeMott of Mexico. Minus the racism and donuts.

 

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Venum and Luxdor win. With a freakin' Top Rope Chokeslam! He's a borderline midget!

 

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6 rows of fans. Wow. That's very sad. The announcers are rallying the fans, but man.

 

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What is Latin America's sick obsession with cross dressing wrestlers?

 

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Atomicos de Locura: Mamba/Mini-Abysmo Negro/Taya vs Mascarita Sagrada/Faby Apache/Pimpinela Escarlata

Taya is GORGEOUS. The only thing good about Pimpinela is his entrance theme. Celia Cruz.

 

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Oh crap, this isn't even the main card!

The ref is announced as the "Marc Anthony of pro wrestling" El Hijo Del Tirantes.

That's just awesome.

 

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Mascarita is in his 50's and moves like Rey Mysterio in his prime. That's insane.

 

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The ref gets kissed by a cross dresser and then a rather violent brawl between the two cross dressers breaks out. I don't get it. They say it's a culture thing, but Puerto Rico does it too and I certainly don't get it.

 

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Mascarita Fireman Carries Taya!! It looks like a 6 year old carrying his mother, that's insane some insane strength.

 

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Tirante yanks Pimpi so Pimpi has Abysmo Negro dropkicks by accident Tirantes. Roll up and the faces win because the ref is mad.

And the Perros Del Mal randomly show up for a beatdown.

 

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Well, there's our first card change. Pentagon Jr. will take on Rey Mysterio in a one on one match instead of the originally scheduled tag team match. Yup, that got me hooked.

 

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Fenix vs Fantasma Jr. (King Cuerno) is still on for the Cruiserweight Championship. And Fantasma is just gold on a mic. He needs to talk more in Lucha Underground.

 

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The announcers just cut a promo for an airline agency. Take note WWE.

 

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Match 3: Pirata Morgan Jr./Super Fly/Daga vs Super Nova/Bengala/Drago

Daga is back after a broken arm. He'd fit flawlessly in ROH. Super Nova is Texano Jr's brother. Thanks announcers. Drago is much more likeable coming out to Breaking Benjamin.

 

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This looks more like MITB than a 3 on 3.

 

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BOTCH. Bengala got dropkicked right in the face as his neck hit the mat.

 

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Daga is the only good thing in this match.

 

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The ref forgot weapons are legal. Drago wins it for the team with mist to the face and the whatchamacallit rollup of his. Mexican Muta, I guess.

 

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The prize for Rey De Reyes is a big, medieval sword and they've had it all show in the middle of the stage.

 

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Kazoos at wrestling events. Yup.

 

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Match 4: Cruiserweight Championship Fenix vs Fantasma Jr.

 

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Fenix has injured ribs. According to one of the commentators, it's because he slipped running away from a taco stand trying to steal. Meanwhile, Fantasma is the king of chocolates. Gettid?