18 Dumb Newspaper Headlines | WrestleZone Forums

18 Dumb Newspaper Headlines

Bernkastel

Reaper of Miracles
Actual Newspaper headlines

1.) Survey Finds Dirtier Subway's After Cleaning Jobs were cut

- from the New York Times

2.) Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

- form the Cornell Daily Sun

3.) Low Wages Said Key to Poverty

- from Newsday

4.) Malls try to Attract Shoppers

- from the Baltimore Sun

5.) Official: Only Rain Will Cure Drought

- from the Westport Herald News

6.) Teenage Girls often have babies fathered by men

- from the Oregonian

7.) Man Shoots Neighbor with Machete

- from the Miami Herald

8.) Tomatoes come in Big, Little, Medium sizes

- from the Dally Progress

9.) Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies

- form the Los Angeles Times

10.) Fee advice: Bundle up when out in the Cold

- from the Lexington Herald - Leader

11.) Economist use theory to explain Economy

- from the Collinsville Herald - Journal

12.) Bible Church's focus is the Bible

- from the Saint Augustine Record

13.) Lack Of Brains Hinders Research

- from the Columbus Dispatch

14.) How We Feel About Ourselves is the Core of Self Esteem, says Author Louise Hart

- from the Sunday Camera of Boulder, Colorado

15.) Fish Lurk in Streams

- form the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle

16.) Infertility unlikely to be passed on

- from the Montgomery Adviser

17.) Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking

- from the Hartford Courant

18.) Scientists see quakes in LA Future

- from the Oregonian
 
2.) Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

- form the Cornell Daily Sun

Wait, so the story about the stork is false?

3.) Low Wages Said Key to Poverty

- from Newsday

I thought it was always because the rich people took all the money, that was why poor people couldn't get more. Well I'll be damned.

4.) Malls try to Attract Shoppers

- from the Baltimore Sun

This is untrue. The mall in the nearby town always seems to attract pedos. I shop their often.. errr, I mean.. I've heard its a nice mall to stalk.. errr, uhm.. they have children's store.. shit, I mean, yeah.. shoppers.. they attra.. the story above is correct.

6.) Teenage Girls often have babies fathered by men

- from the Oregonian

So the lesbian couples that have babies.. didn't have them?

7.) Man Shoots Neighbor with Machete

- from the Miami Herald

I think this was also reported with the drive-by stabbing I read about.

9.) Man Run Over By Freight Train Dies

- form the Los Angeles Times

So did he catch his train?

10.) Fee advice: Bundle up when out in the Cold

- from the Lexington Herald - Leader

:disappointed: I had to pay to find out less is more in the summer.

12.) Bible Church's focus is the Bible

- from the Saint Augustine Record

That or cult followings one.

14.) How We Feel About Ourselves is the Core of Self Esteem, says Author Louise Hart

- from the Sunday Camera of Boulder, Colorado

I've always found that my self esteem comes from what others think of me, more than what I think of myself.

15.) Fish Lurk in Streams

- form the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle

So T.N.A. is a stream?

17.) Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking

- from the Hartford Courant

I always thought they promoted bikini models. I've never seen a single beer in an alcohol ad.
 

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