klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Battleground is on the horizon and the Authority seems to be reunited to help Seth Rollins defend his World Title against Brock Lesnar. This means Kane and Joey Mercury at the moment, as Lesnar injured Jamie Noble last week, meaning there aren't many obstacles for Lesnar to overcome to get to Rollins. Let's get to it.
The opening recap shows the ending of last week's show with Lesnar being laid out by the devastating forces of Kane, Mercury and Rollins. I'm so glad they had Lesnar get beaten up as he was getting way too close to feeling like something special and they needed to cut his legs out from underneath him. Well, maybe just the toes or so as Lesnar is going to be fine.
Here's the Authority, complete with the secret weapon of Noble, to open things up. This is officially Monday Night Rollins, because Rollins has been watching some old Nitro matches. Perhaps on the WWE Network for $9.99? He talks about the power in this city, which you attain by doing things no one else could do. Rollins did something that Cena and even the Undertaker couldn't do, as he conquered the conqueror last week. Suplex City was burned to the ground and Lesnar is now on his way to Japan.
That's what he deserves after what Lesnar did to Noble last week. We even get a quick Jamie Noble chant because these fans are that intelligent. They're quickly tossed aside though as Rollins demands that the fans show Noble the respect that he deserves. However, it's time for presents! Rollins has Apple Watches for everyone, likely fulfilling a product placement agreement. Kane is getting a bonus though. He debuted back in 1997 (that really shouldn't be brought up) and a lot of things have changed since then.
Bill Clinton was in charge, the internet was dial-up and Paul Heyman was fat and disgusting.....so not everything has changed. In all that time, Kane hasn't asked for a thing, so Rollins is sending him to.......Hawaii, complete with a picture saying Hawaii, thereby making this a complete copy of the segment where Rocky Maivia took over the Nation, giving the members watches and Faarooq a picture of Rocky himself.
As a hula dancer and ukelele player come out to complete the mood, Kane is looking forward to deciding which animal to throw into a volcano, but Rollins thinks they should team up to destroy Ambrose and Reigns in a No DQ tag match tonight. Rollins still isn't done though as he has a 2015 Cadillac for the Stooges to travel in. The guys celebrate as Rollins lists off the price and features. I was right about that product placement it seems. This goes on until Big Show comes out for his match.
The tag match later is presented by the new Terminator movie. I'm sure some people will get annoyed by this but it's money for the company in like 30 seconds. It's not the worst thing in the world.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Oh....yay. Miz is on commentary to cheer for Henry but Show pounds Mark into the corner with right hands (which are the size of typewriters according to JR), only to have Henry knock him down and hit a splash for two. Not that it matters as two big right hands knock Henry silly for the pin at 1:24.
Ryback (sans belt) hits the ring to take Show down with a shoulder to the leg. Miz runs in to kick Ryback in the jaw, so Ryback wants their match to happen right now.
Miz vs. Ryback
Non-title., but now Ryback has the belt. I know it doesn't mean as much today but it disappears? Miz tries to stomp him down but gets his head slammed into the mat for his efforts. Ryback whips him across the ring with authority (not THE Authority of course. Like they'd be involved with the Intercontinental Title), followed by a totally ridiculous FORTY SECOND delayed vertical suplex.
Miz bails to the floor but comes back with a short DDT for two, setting up a nice face pull. A chinlock goes nowhere but the Reality Check gets two more. That's it for Ryback as he comes back with a spinebuster but the threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz running for the countout (the rare three count countout before the referee just says screw it and ends the match) at 5:11.
Alicia Fox vs. Paige
Alicia comes out to the Bellas' music and has them at ringside. Paige takes her down into an armbar to start and drives a knee into the face for two. Some kicks in the corner don't bother Paige much as she hits a Thesz press, only to have the Bellas offer a distraction so Alicia can take over again as we go to a break. Back with Fox standing on the hair before we hit the chinlock.
As the fans start falling asleep due to the rest hold, the Bellas are right there with the COME ON (insert name here) shouting. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Paige and it's back to the chinlock. Two chinlocks in a match this show tells me that Fox has no idea where to go on offense. Paige comes back with her three clotheslines and a kick to the face for two. Nikki tries a distraction so Fox can roll her up, only to have Paige roll through (with nothing on Fox's arms, meaning there's no reason she didn't kick out) for the pin at 9:43.
Here's John Cena for the US Title Open Challenge (with the promo during the entrance instead of in the ring).....and here's Kevin Owens! I'll ignore Cole calling this a budding rivalry because Cole is that big of a schnook when he stops thinking.
US Title: Kevin Owens vs. John Cena
Owens drops to the floor after the Big Match Intros and says he'll just wait for Battleground. He'll take the US Title there, but maybe this man can do it instead.
US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena
Owens joins commentary, which should be entertaining stuff. Thankfully they're immediately talking about the Balor vs. Owens NXT Title match this coming Saturday. Cena starts with a headlock and monkey flip to send Cesaro into the corner, meaning it's time for a standoff. This time it's Cesaro putting on a headlock before planting Cena with a powerslam, followed by a crucifix of all things for two.
The AA is countered and Cesaro drops Cena with a right hand for another near fall. As usual, why make things more complicated than they need to be? Off to an abdominal stretch on the mat as Owens talks about having what it takes to be a real champion. A dropkick staggers Cesaro but he casually slugs Cena down and gets two off a crossface punch to the head.
Back from a break with Cesaro trying a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena kicks him away, only to take a big clothesline for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but opts for a catapult instead, only to have Cena bounce back into something similar to a springboard Stunner (it barely connected) for two of his own. Cesaro flips out of the AA and hits a massive Swiss Death for two more.
There's the STF but Cesaro rolls out, adjusts his legs and turns the hold over into the Sharpshooter. That was Hart vs. Perfect-esque. Cena makes a rope though and Cesaro's frustration is setting in. Owens: Cena is in trouble. Not as much trouble as he'll be in at Battleground but close enough.
The apron superplex puts Cena down again as Cole thinks this is going to be a match of the year candidate. It kind of loses its appeal if you keep saying it over and over again, which is why a lot of Cole's commentary gets old. And yes, I'm aware it's mainly him being fed lines. Cena gets two more off a tornado DDT and they slug it out until Cesaro tries a high cross body, only to have Cena roll through into.....actually not the AA as he spins Cesaro forward into a faceplant for another near fall.
Owens gets up and swings at Cole for praising Cena, who is dropkicked off the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Cena tries a sunset flip but has to settle for a sunset bomb for yet another two. There's a Neutralizer out of nowhere but Cena kicks out again. A spinebuster sets up the Swing (good idea to have a power move set it up. It's weird when he just grabs the legs) which sets up the Sharpshooter but Owens comes in for the DQ at 20:20.
Kevin powerbombs both guys and says if anyone is taking the title off Cena, it's going to be him. Owens comes off as such a jerk on commentary and I love it very much.
Tonight, Dolph Ziggler and Lana are going public. Oh man this is going to be bad isn't it?
We get what I think is the same recap that opened the show. That's quite the use of another three minutes.
Bray Wyatt pops up on screen with the ANYONE BUT YOU picture of Reigns. He wants Reigns to open his eyes to see the truth and close his mouth so no more lies can be spread. Wyatt wasn't his father's favorite because his father threw him away like a piece of trash. I wonder if IRS wrote that off his taxes. Wyatt has his wings back now though and Reigns knows everything Bray stands for. There will be no distractions at Battlegrounds because the insects that watch them every week are inconsequential. They're the yin to each others yang and Bray will be Roman's crown of suffering. Anyone but you Roman. Run.
Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Bo Dallas
JBL: We lucha on Monday nights! We get a clip of Rock's big surprise appearance at a house show over the weekend where he laid out Dallas, which is a GREAT advertisement for the house show circuit. It's the same thing as when they would occasionally have a title change and then turn it right back soon after. No it's not going to happen all the time, but make the people think it could and you can sell some more tickets.
Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked one flipping off the top rope into a wristdrag as JBL says the Dragons remind him of the APA days. Off to Cara vs. Dallas with Sin cranking on the arm, only to have Darren come in for his standing Earthquake splash for two. Titus comes in to throw Dallas around with ease, which is a really simple yet effective power move. Kalisto doesn't have the same luck as Bo knees him in the head to finally take over.
Back to Young for a chinlock as the match slows down. The belly to back suplex onto the apron plants Dallas again and the threat of a huge brawl sends us to a break. We come back with Woods holding Kalisto in a cobra clutch (that's a move that has gotten a lot more popular recently) but it's quickly off to Cara to flip around and kick Big E. in the head.
E. isn't in enough trouble to get caught in the Gut Check though as he shoves Young to the floor to take over. We get the rotating stomps before it's back to Bo for the chinlock. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Titus and everything breaks down. The Dragons hit big stereo dives, allowing Titus to hit a sitout spinebuster for the pin on Kofi at 14:35.
Here are Dolph and Lana for their big moment. Originally they weren't on the best of terms because Lana was just trying to get back at Rusev. Then things changed, Ziggler is a real man, and Lana cares for him. Rusev finally hobbles out with Summer Rae by his side. He never cared about Lana because kissing her was like kissing the ring post.
Ziggler cuts him off and calls Lana his girlfriend and violence is teased, but Summer grabs the mic and calls Lana a gold digger. She was with Rusev when he won the US Title, but as soon as that was gone, so was Lana. That's enough for Lana and the fight is on, with the fans seemingly very pleased when Lana's skirt comes up. The match could be a disaster but the moment wasn't bad.
Ambrose talks to some Terminators when Reigns comes in and assures Dean that he's ready. Dean is the only family Reigns has around here and they're ready to rage.
Neville vs. Sheamus
Before the match we get a cool video of Neville being turned into a comic book superhero. I actually said he wrestled like a superhero when I saw him at a house show a few months back so they really nailed the idea here. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock as the announcers debate Neville beating him in the King of the Ring. JBL: Nobody remembers who came second to Usain Bolt. Cole: We did. JBL: Well you're nobody.
Neville kicks him to the floor and Sheamus grabs the briefcase for comfort as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Regal Roll and a release suplex for no cover. Instead Sheamus just smiles like a bully is supposed to do. The fans think this is boring, so Sheamus puts his hand to his ear and slaps on a chinlock. Now THAT is a great heel move. No sarcasm there if it's not clear.
Neville kicks him in the face for a breather but Sheamus calmly hits three straight Irish Curses to regain control. Sheamus gets low bridged to the floor though, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Sheamus gets kicked in the head again but is still able to kick the ropes for a huge crash to break up the Red Arrow. The Brogue Kick ends Neville at 12:41.
Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett
Before the match, Barrett demands that all of his opponents must bow down to him. Swagger will have none of that so Barrett bails to the floor to start. Back in and Swagger throws him down with ease and gets the Patriot Lock with Barrett already in the ropes. Well he's a hoss you see so you can't expect that much intelligence. Jack runs into a knee in the corner and the Bull Hammer ends this at 1:47.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Seth Rollins
No DQ. The Stooges come out in the Cadillac. It's a brawl to start as it should be with Rollins quickly being knocked out to the floor. Kane gets double teamed but Rollins gets back in to shove Ambrose off the top rope. Back from an early break with Rollins holding Reigns in a chinlock and the partners on the apron, because WWE doesn't get what NO DISQUALIFICATION means. Reigns fights away from Kane and it's a double tag to bring in Ambrose and Rollins.
Dean quickly cleans house and knocks Rollins to the floor. It's weapons time with a table getting things started. As if the fans didn't love Dean enough already. The Stooges pull it away so Reigns comes back with a bunch of kendo stick shots to Mercury, followed by three straight Superman Punches to various evildoers. Speaking of evil, cue Bray Wyatt to take out Reigns, including a Rock Bottom onto the announcers' table. Dean can't fight them off alone though and it's a chokeslam and Pedigree for the pin at 11:45.
Post match Reigns saves Dean from a TripleBomb through the table but Kane chokeslams him down too. Reigns fights back again but is finally thrown through the table in the corner. Another Pedigree puts Reigns down, leaving Wyatt to come back in (where was he for the last eight minutes?) and hit Sister Abigail to end the show.
Results
Big Show b. Mark Henry KO Punch
Ryback b. Miz via countout
Paige b. Alicia Fox Rollup
Cesaro b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons b. New Day/Bo Dallas Sitout spinebuster to Kingston
Sheamus b. Neville Brogue Kick
King Barrett b. Jack Swagger Bull Hammer
Kane/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns Pedigree to Ambrose
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Rich Brennan, Corey Graves
It's the show before the big title match in Tokyo and we actually have a main event announced in advance. This week's big match is Samoa Joe/Finn Balor vs. Rhyno/Kevin Owens, which isn't exactly what the champ should be doing but it makes sense given the story. I can't imagine Owens is champion next week but I've been surprised before. Let's get to it.
The opening video is just a quick preview of the tag match.
Vaudevillains vs. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder
Gotch and Wilder start things off with Dash quickly shoving him into the corner for a tag off to Dawson. Well that was pointless. Simon gets a quick two out of the corner and it's off to English for a MANLY elbow. A back elbow and knee drop put Simon down and Dawson drives elbows into the face. The manliness starts running low though so it's off to English to squeeze the juice out of oranges and shave with broken glass. Or maybe for the Whirling Dervish from English for the pin at 3:07.
Becky Lynch has a hip flexor injury and will be out for a few weeks.
Baron Corbin vs. Tucker Knight
Knight looks a lot like Rusev. End of Days in 47 seconds.
The Vaudevillains and Enzo/Cass are in Regal's office. As you might expect, he snaps after about ten seconds of chattering. It's a #1 contenders match next week.
It's time for the last part of the Finn Balor documentary. Balor talks about loving how he spawns creativity from fans with their art. Some of the pictures are cool and I know I'm right because Sami Zayn agrees. We see the Finn Balor debut with Prince Devitt popping up on screen and how he knew the fans were accepting him.
The name is a combination of an Irish warrior named Finwick who went to war against the evil King Balor. The fact that his dad is named Finn didn't hurt either. Matt Bloom (Jason Albert, NXT trainer) says there wasn't much in ring stuff to teach him but he had to learn cameras. Balor says every entrance is a movie, which is an interesting way to look at it.
Quick talk about the Demon giving him more confidence before it's off to saying he's ready to take the title in Japan. A music video of him with some kids doing the Balor pose and everyone talking about how amazing Balor is ends this. These three parts are collected in an NXT special and I really, REALLY recommend you take the thirty minutes to watch it. These are some of the best documentaries WWE has ever done and they make me think Balor is ready for the WWE main event scene right now.
Eva Marie trained earlier today as Regal watched. That could be anywhere between a pleasant surprise to my mind exploding in shock to exactly the disaster a lot of people are expecting.
Emma vs. Carmella
The lack of caring for Carmella when Enzo and Cass aren't there is astounding. Feeling out process to start with Carmella taking her down in a headlock, followed by a hurricanrana out of the corner. Emma grabs the ropes (that's kind of lame) and puts on a bodyscissors for a bit. Carmella fights back and hits a running boot to the side of the head, only to be pulled down into the Emma Lock for the tap out at 4:12.
Bull Dempsey tries to break open a vending machine when Regal shows up to yell at him. The chocolate on Dempsey's lips don't make things any better.
Jason Jordan is annoyed at losing again last week so Chad Gable comes up to offer his services again.
Tyler Breeze vs. Tye Dillinger
Dillinger charges into a boot to start but slugs Breeze down to take over. Tye mocks the photos and the fans give him a ten, which hasn't been explained on NXT so far. A hurricanrana and right hands (straight out of Shawn Michaels' playbook) set up the Beauty Shot for the pin at 2:50.
Emma and Dana Brooke interrupt a Sasha Banks interview to admire the Women's Title. A challenge is thrown down and Sasha says she'll find a partner.
Rhyno/Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe/Finn Balor
Joe is billed at 302lbs which sounds bigger than you would think, but it's nice to just admit that he's a bigger guy. Rhyno and Joe slug it out to start with Joe taking over and nailing the jumping kick in the corner. Off to Balor vs. Owens with Finn dropkicking him down but being sent to the floor for daring to try a suplex. Back from a break with the champ holding Balor in a chinlock. That's really dull stuff so it's back to Rhyno for a delayed vertical suplex with some squats thrown in.
Points to Rhyno for picking things up a bit. Owens puts on another chinlock but makes sure to stick out his tongue to the crowd because he makes chinlocks something special. Some of the time at least. We get the Cena finishing sequence but Balor escapes the AA and makes the hot tag to Joe. Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster and Owens adds something resembling a Pop Up Powerbomb. It's back to Balor for a Pele though and the Gore nails the champ by mistake, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin on Owens (first time in NXT) at 12:40.
Results
Vaudevillains b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder Whirling Dervish to Dawson
Baron Corbin b. Tucker Knight End of Days
Emma b. Carmella Emma Lock
Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger Beauty Shot
Finn Balor/Samoa Joe b. Rhyno/Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Owens
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
This is a big special show called Bell to Bell, headlined by Ethan Carter III challenging Kurt Angle for the World Title. We're also coming off a pretty lackluster Slammiversary with the main story being Jeff Jarrett winning King of the Mountain and taking the newly created title to Global Force Wrestling. We also have a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Tag Team Titles so this is a packed show. Let's get to it.
The opening video looks at Angle's TNA career but tonight he's up against someone who has never lost. It's a simple video but it hits every point it needed to touch.
The Rising vs. Beat Down Clan
The losing team must disband, thank goodness. It's also a 4-3 elimination match with Hernandez/MVP/Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway/Mica/Eli Drake. MVP and Drew get things going with Galloway kicking him in the face and hammering away in the corner. Low Ki comes in and loses some skin off Galloway's chops. It's off to King vs. Mica with the former taking Mica down with ease for a bunch of right hands to the head. That's more aggression than you usually see from him.
The BDC starts taking over but Hernandez isn't pleased that he didn't get a tag. Ki gets a nice running start into the corner and kicks Mica in the head for the elimination. Back with Ki suplexing Galloway for two as this is very one sided so far. Drew quickly rolls over to the corner for the hot tag to Drake for some house cleaning, including a dive to take MVP down on the floor. Drake comes up favoring his knee though and it's time for the trainers. That's officially an elimination so it's Galloway vs. the entire BDC.
Hernandez gets things going for his team as the Pope talks about pork chops. They chop it out in the corner (dang maybe Pope is on to something) but it's quickly off to Ki, who accidentally kicks King in the head, allowing Drew to roll up Low Ki for the elimination, followed by a quick cover on King to get it down to 2-1. See, now that's logical thinking and doesn't make the whole match seem fake.
Drew gives Ki a shoulder breaker onto the steps, likely to write Ki off the show, only to walk into a Border Toss. MVP's Playmaker (or whatever he's calling that stupid move these days) drops Galloway again but he tells MVP to bring it, earning him a Drive By to the head for the pin at 16:45.
Post break, MVP is told that Low Ki is heading to the hospital for his shoulder. Oh yeah that's his way off TV.
Here's Magnus with something to say. He doesn't think much of James Storm and doesn't care that Storm's parents didn't give him enough hugs and kisses. That's an image I didn't expect to think of today. Storm played some mind games but what he forgot was the power of a man when his family is threatened. Magnus brings out Mickie James, who is totally fine after that near death thing. Mickie thanks Magnus for always being there for him because he's the man for her.
Cue Storm and Khoya, with the Cowboy saying he's here to talk to Mickie. He thinks Mickie should be be thanking him for not pushing her a little bit harder. Storm didn't want her in the Revolution, but rather to prove how easy it is to manipulate a woman. He could have any woman he wanted but Mickie doesn't seem to take too kindly to this line of thinking.
Mickie would love to take the bet that Storm can't find one woman to be on his side, because she and Magnus will fight the two of them anytime. This was a pretty awkward exchange but at least it gets Mickie back in the ring and maybe some fresh blood in the Knockouts division. One other thing: it's always amusing to hear the commentary reference a match happening but not being able to say who actually won.
Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Dirty Heels
The belts are vacant coming in and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match for the fifth match in a best of five series. I'm so glad this is it for these teams as I'm long past over caring about watching them fight. Oddly enough they say that Aries won but couldn't say who won between Storm and Magnus.
Davey and Aries fight into the corner to start before it's off to the partners with the Wolves taking over on Roode's arm. Back to Aries who takes Eddie down as they're clearly taking their time to start. An elbow to the back gets two on Eddie but he easily drives Aries into the corner for the tag. Things speed up a bit with some Wolves double teaming before Eddie suplexes Austin for no cover. Instead it's off to Davey vs. Roode with Richards putting on a kind of reverse Figure Four.
Ever the smart heel, Aries pushes the bottom rope towards his partner for the save. The Heels (stupid meta name) take over in the corner and start working on Eddie's leg to really slow things down. We hit the ten minute mark as the leg work continues. The Heels make a wish on Eddie's legs but he finally snaps off a hurricanrana to make the tag off to Richards. Davey takes over and everything breaks down with Bobby getting tied up in the Tree of Woe, setting up a swan dive into the corner (cool spot) for two.
We take a break and come back with just under twelve minutes to go and no score. Richards is in trouble and Aries' top rope ax handle to the floor makes it even worse. Edwards breaks up a cover with ten minutes to go. Davey breaks up a catapult into a forearm and stomps Roode down, finally allowing the tag off to Eddie. Edwards kicks Roode off the top and hits a backpack Stunner for a very close two. A jackknife cover gets another near fall on Roode and Eddie is stunned.
Now the catapult works with Aries adding a slingshot elbow drop for two of his own. The Last Chancery nearly gets a submission but Davey makes the save. It's not like that move EVER WORKS ANYWAY so I didn't get the drama. The double top rope double stomp gets a VERY close two on Aries and we hit five minutes to go. Roode plants Edwards with a spinebuster and Aries nails the 450 for the first fall with four minutes left.
The Heels get smart by throwing the Wolves to the floor to kill some time and Aries keeps up the intelligence with a suicide dive to take them both out. Eddie starts fighting back at the two minute mark and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo ties things up with about seventy five seconds left. Roode sneaks in with a belt shot to the head for two but Eddie counters the Roode Bomb into a rollup for the pin. The last ten seconds quickly run out and the Wolves get the titles back at 30:00.
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Brooke and Taryn get in a brawl to start as Kong stomps around the ring. The champ gets double teamed with Kong hitting a corner splash, sending Taryn running to the floor for a breather. Simple heel strategy at least. It's fine with Kong who chinlocks Brooke down and then swings her around by the throat. Taryn comes back in with a dropkick to Kong but she turns around and eats a dropkick from Brooke.
There's a chokeslam from Kong on the champ but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a quick beating. Brooke hits a pretty lame spear on Taryn as Josh wants the Dollhouse gone forever. Yes because the last thing we need are three good looking women on the show. Jade hits a quick Stunner over the top rope to daze Kong, setting up the Taryn Cutter for the pin at 4:44.
Post match the PLAYTIME IS OVER video comes on again.....and it's Gail Kim. Well of course it is, as it's been at least six weeks since she's been out there reminding us how SERIOUS this is and how she's a real wrestler. I know Kim is one of the best Knockouts ever (and probably the best ever) but she's basically the female Dean Malenko: incredibly talented, but the charisma of a frozen turkey dinner.
It's time for the big sitdown interview with the Jarretts. Here's the whole thing: the last eight days were shocking, there's a future between TNA and Global Force, and Jeff is excited about it. This wasn't even two minutes long.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle
Angle is defending and Carter is undefeated. After some Big Match Intros we're ready to go with the fans sounding pretty much behind the champ. Thankfully the bell rings after a break so we don't have to miss a bunch of time after a few opening seconds. I wish WWE would figure out that mentality. The fans start the dueling chants as we have a very basic standoff to get things going.
Angle takes him down into a wristlock but is all like SCREW YOU NECK TUMOR and starts busting out the suplexes. Carter is sent to the floor and gets suplexed out there as well with Kurt in all fired up mode. Back in and Carter scores with a clothesline for one and it's off to a chinlock. There's the Stinger Splash, followed by a TKO of all things (always loved that move) for two. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets DDT'd (DDP'd according to Josh) on the apron.
Back from a break with Carter holding a full nelson but Kurt easily powers out because neck surgeries mean nothing to him. Both guys are down off a clothesline but it's Kurt quickly up and busting out the suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered so it's time to roll some more Germans. Now the Slam gets two but Carter breaks up the ankle lock and sends Kurt to the floor. Tyrus finally gets involved with a clothesline but the 1%er is countered into another ankle lock.
That goes nowhere so it's back to the Germans because Kurt is really, really repetitive at times. Another Slam gets another two (remember that repetitive thing?) and it's back to the ankle lock, only to have the referee get bumped on the counter. Tyrus takes Angle out and the 1%er gets two more. Well at least they didn't go with the obvious ending. The monster tries to bring in a chair (because monsters need chairs) and gets ejected as Josh becomes a face announcer again by saying it's the right call.
Another 1%er is countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Carter actually makes the rope. I can't imagine there are more than five people that have gotten out of the grapevine version so well done there. Another Angle Slam is countered into a rollup to give Carter the title at 20:16.
Results
Beat Down Clan b. The Rising Drive By to Galloway
Wolves b. Dirty Heels Rollup to Roode
Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong and Brooke Taryn Cutter to Kong
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle Rollup
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
Battleground is on the horizon and the Authority seems to be reunited to help Seth Rollins defend his World Title against Brock Lesnar. This means Kane and Joey Mercury at the moment, as Lesnar injured Jamie Noble last week, meaning there aren't many obstacles for Lesnar to overcome to get to Rollins. Let's get to it.
The opening recap shows the ending of last week's show with Lesnar being laid out by the devastating forces of Kane, Mercury and Rollins. I'm so glad they had Lesnar get beaten up as he was getting way too close to feeling like something special and they needed to cut his legs out from underneath him. Well, maybe just the toes or so as Lesnar is going to be fine.
Here's the Authority, complete with the secret weapon of Noble, to open things up. This is officially Monday Night Rollins, because Rollins has been watching some old Nitro matches. Perhaps on the WWE Network for $9.99? He talks about the power in this city, which you attain by doing things no one else could do. Rollins did something that Cena and even the Undertaker couldn't do, as he conquered the conqueror last week. Suplex City was burned to the ground and Lesnar is now on his way to Japan.
That's what he deserves after what Lesnar did to Noble last week. We even get a quick Jamie Noble chant because these fans are that intelligent. They're quickly tossed aside though as Rollins demands that the fans show Noble the respect that he deserves. However, it's time for presents! Rollins has Apple Watches for everyone, likely fulfilling a product placement agreement. Kane is getting a bonus though. He debuted back in 1997 (that really shouldn't be brought up) and a lot of things have changed since then.
Bill Clinton was in charge, the internet was dial-up and Paul Heyman was fat and disgusting.....so not everything has changed. In all that time, Kane hasn't asked for a thing, so Rollins is sending him to.......Hawaii, complete with a picture saying Hawaii, thereby making this a complete copy of the segment where Rocky Maivia took over the Nation, giving the members watches and Faarooq a picture of Rocky himself.
As a hula dancer and ukelele player come out to complete the mood, Kane is looking forward to deciding which animal to throw into a volcano, but Rollins thinks they should team up to destroy Ambrose and Reigns in a No DQ tag match tonight. Rollins still isn't done though as he has a 2015 Cadillac for the Stooges to travel in. The guys celebrate as Rollins lists off the price and features. I was right about that product placement it seems. This goes on until Big Show comes out for his match.
The tag match later is presented by the new Terminator movie. I'm sure some people will get annoyed by this but it's money for the company in like 30 seconds. It's not the worst thing in the world.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Oh....yay. Miz is on commentary to cheer for Henry but Show pounds Mark into the corner with right hands (which are the size of typewriters according to JR), only to have Henry knock him down and hit a splash for two. Not that it matters as two big right hands knock Henry silly for the pin at 1:24.
Ryback (sans belt) hits the ring to take Show down with a shoulder to the leg. Miz runs in to kick Ryback in the jaw, so Ryback wants their match to happen right now.
Miz vs. Ryback
Non-title., but now Ryback has the belt. I know it doesn't mean as much today but it disappears? Miz tries to stomp him down but gets his head slammed into the mat for his efforts. Ryback whips him across the ring with authority (not THE Authority of course. Like they'd be involved with the Intercontinental Title), followed by a totally ridiculous FORTY SECOND delayed vertical suplex.
Miz bails to the floor but comes back with a short DDT for two, setting up a nice face pull. A chinlock goes nowhere but the Reality Check gets two more. That's it for Ryback as he comes back with a spinebuster but the threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz running for the countout (the rare three count countout before the referee just says screw it and ends the match) at 5:11.
Alicia Fox vs. Paige
Alicia comes out to the Bellas' music and has them at ringside. Paige takes her down into an armbar to start and drives a knee into the face for two. Some kicks in the corner don't bother Paige much as she hits a Thesz press, only to have the Bellas offer a distraction so Alicia can take over again as we go to a break. Back with Fox standing on the hair before we hit the chinlock.
As the fans start falling asleep due to the rest hold, the Bellas are right there with the COME ON (insert name here) shouting. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Paige and it's back to the chinlock. Two chinlocks in a match this show tells me that Fox has no idea where to go on offense. Paige comes back with her three clotheslines and a kick to the face for two. Nikki tries a distraction so Fox can roll her up, only to have Paige roll through (with nothing on Fox's arms, meaning there's no reason she didn't kick out) for the pin at 9:43.
Here's John Cena for the US Title Open Challenge (with the promo during the entrance instead of in the ring).....and here's Kevin Owens! I'll ignore Cole calling this a budding rivalry because Cole is that big of a schnook when he stops thinking.
US Title: Kevin Owens vs. John Cena
Owens drops to the floor after the Big Match Intros and says he'll just wait for Battleground. He'll take the US Title there, but maybe this man can do it instead.
US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena
Owens joins commentary, which should be entertaining stuff. Thankfully they're immediately talking about the Balor vs. Owens NXT Title match this coming Saturday. Cena starts with a headlock and monkey flip to send Cesaro into the corner, meaning it's time for a standoff. This time it's Cesaro putting on a headlock before planting Cena with a powerslam, followed by a crucifix of all things for two.
The AA is countered and Cesaro drops Cena with a right hand for another near fall. As usual, why make things more complicated than they need to be? Off to an abdominal stretch on the mat as Owens talks about having what it takes to be a real champion. A dropkick staggers Cesaro but he casually slugs Cena down and gets two off a crossface punch to the head.
Back from a break with Cesaro trying a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena kicks him away, only to take a big clothesline for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but opts for a catapult instead, only to have Cena bounce back into something similar to a springboard Stunner (it barely connected) for two of his own. Cesaro flips out of the AA and hits a massive Swiss Death for two more.
There's the STF but Cesaro rolls out, adjusts his legs and turns the hold over into the Sharpshooter. That was Hart vs. Perfect-esque. Cena makes a rope though and Cesaro's frustration is setting in. Owens: Cena is in trouble. Not as much trouble as he'll be in at Battleground but close enough.
The apron superplex puts Cena down again as Cole thinks this is going to be a match of the year candidate. It kind of loses its appeal if you keep saying it over and over again, which is why a lot of Cole's commentary gets old. And yes, I'm aware it's mainly him being fed lines. Cena gets two more off a tornado DDT and they slug it out until Cesaro tries a high cross body, only to have Cena roll through into.....actually not the AA as he spins Cesaro forward into a faceplant for another near fall.
Owens gets up and swings at Cole for praising Cena, who is dropkicked off the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Cena tries a sunset flip but has to settle for a sunset bomb for yet another two. There's a Neutralizer out of nowhere but Cena kicks out again. A spinebuster sets up the Swing (good idea to have a power move set it up. It's weird when he just grabs the legs) which sets up the Sharpshooter but Owens comes in for the DQ at 20:20.
Kevin powerbombs both guys and says if anyone is taking the title off Cena, it's going to be him. Owens comes off as such a jerk on commentary and I love it very much.
Tonight, Dolph Ziggler and Lana are going public. Oh man this is going to be bad isn't it?
We get what I think is the same recap that opened the show. That's quite the use of another three minutes.
Bray Wyatt pops up on screen with the ANYONE BUT YOU picture of Reigns. He wants Reigns to open his eyes to see the truth and close his mouth so no more lies can be spread. Wyatt wasn't his father's favorite because his father threw him away like a piece of trash. I wonder if IRS wrote that off his taxes. Wyatt has his wings back now though and Reigns knows everything Bray stands for. There will be no distractions at Battlegrounds because the insects that watch them every week are inconsequential. They're the yin to each others yang and Bray will be Roman's crown of suffering. Anyone but you Roman. Run.
Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Bo Dallas
JBL: We lucha on Monday nights! We get a clip of Rock's big surprise appearance at a house show over the weekend where he laid out Dallas, which is a GREAT advertisement for the house show circuit. It's the same thing as when they would occasionally have a title change and then turn it right back soon after. No it's not going to happen all the time, but make the people think it could and you can sell some more tickets.
Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked one flipping off the top rope into a wristdrag as JBL says the Dragons remind him of the APA days. Off to Cara vs. Dallas with Sin cranking on the arm, only to have Darren come in for his standing Earthquake splash for two. Titus comes in to throw Dallas around with ease, which is a really simple yet effective power move. Kalisto doesn't have the same luck as Bo knees him in the head to finally take over.
Back to Young for a chinlock as the match slows down. The belly to back suplex onto the apron plants Dallas again and the threat of a huge brawl sends us to a break. We come back with Woods holding Kalisto in a cobra clutch (that's a move that has gotten a lot more popular recently) but it's quickly off to Cara to flip around and kick Big E. in the head.
E. isn't in enough trouble to get caught in the Gut Check though as he shoves Young to the floor to take over. We get the rotating stomps before it's back to Bo for the chinlock. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Titus and everything breaks down. The Dragons hit big stereo dives, allowing Titus to hit a sitout spinebuster for the pin on Kofi at 14:35.
Here are Dolph and Lana for their big moment. Originally they weren't on the best of terms because Lana was just trying to get back at Rusev. Then things changed, Ziggler is a real man, and Lana cares for him. Rusev finally hobbles out with Summer Rae by his side. He never cared about Lana because kissing her was like kissing the ring post.
Ziggler cuts him off and calls Lana his girlfriend and violence is teased, but Summer grabs the mic and calls Lana a gold digger. She was with Rusev when he won the US Title, but as soon as that was gone, so was Lana. That's enough for Lana and the fight is on, with the fans seemingly very pleased when Lana's skirt comes up. The match could be a disaster but the moment wasn't bad.
Ambrose talks to some Terminators when Reigns comes in and assures Dean that he's ready. Dean is the only family Reigns has around here and they're ready to rage.
Neville vs. Sheamus
Before the match we get a cool video of Neville being turned into a comic book superhero. I actually said he wrestled like a superhero when I saw him at a house show a few months back so they really nailed the idea here. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock as the announcers debate Neville beating him in the King of the Ring. JBL: Nobody remembers who came second to Usain Bolt. Cole: We did. JBL: Well you're nobody.
Neville kicks him to the floor and Sheamus grabs the briefcase for comfort as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Regal Roll and a release suplex for no cover. Instead Sheamus just smiles like a bully is supposed to do. The fans think this is boring, so Sheamus puts his hand to his ear and slaps on a chinlock. Now THAT is a great heel move. No sarcasm there if it's not clear.
Neville kicks him in the face for a breather but Sheamus calmly hits three straight Irish Curses to regain control. Sheamus gets low bridged to the floor though, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Sheamus gets kicked in the head again but is still able to kick the ropes for a huge crash to break up the Red Arrow. The Brogue Kick ends Neville at 12:41.
Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett
Before the match, Barrett demands that all of his opponents must bow down to him. Swagger will have none of that so Barrett bails to the floor to start. Back in and Swagger throws him down with ease and gets the Patriot Lock with Barrett already in the ropes. Well he's a hoss you see so you can't expect that much intelligence. Jack runs into a knee in the corner and the Bull Hammer ends this at 1:47.
Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Seth Rollins
No DQ. The Stooges come out in the Cadillac. It's a brawl to start as it should be with Rollins quickly being knocked out to the floor. Kane gets double teamed but Rollins gets back in to shove Ambrose off the top rope. Back from an early break with Rollins holding Reigns in a chinlock and the partners on the apron, because WWE doesn't get what NO DISQUALIFICATION means. Reigns fights away from Kane and it's a double tag to bring in Ambrose and Rollins.
Dean quickly cleans house and knocks Rollins to the floor. It's weapons time with a table getting things started. As if the fans didn't love Dean enough already. The Stooges pull it away so Reigns comes back with a bunch of kendo stick shots to Mercury, followed by three straight Superman Punches to various evildoers. Speaking of evil, cue Bray Wyatt to take out Reigns, including a Rock Bottom onto the announcers' table. Dean can't fight them off alone though and it's a chokeslam and Pedigree for the pin at 11:45.
Post match Reigns saves Dean from a TripleBomb through the table but Kane chokeslams him down too. Reigns fights back again but is finally thrown through the table in the corner. Another Pedigree puts Reigns down, leaving Wyatt to come back in (where was he for the last eight minutes?) and hit Sister Abigail to end the show.
Results
Big Show b. Mark Henry KO Punch
Ryback b. Miz via countout
Paige b. Alicia Fox Rollup
Cesaro b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered
Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons b. New Day/Bo Dallas Sitout spinebuster to Kingston
Sheamus b. Neville Brogue Kick
King Barrett b. Jack Swagger Bull Hammer
Kane/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns Pedigree to Ambrose
Tuesday
Nothing.
Wednesday
NXT
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Rich Brennan, Corey Graves
It's the show before the big title match in Tokyo and we actually have a main event announced in advance. This week's big match is Samoa Joe/Finn Balor vs. Rhyno/Kevin Owens, which isn't exactly what the champ should be doing but it makes sense given the story. I can't imagine Owens is champion next week but I've been surprised before. Let's get to it.
The opening video is just a quick preview of the tag match.
Vaudevillains vs. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder
Gotch and Wilder start things off with Dash quickly shoving him into the corner for a tag off to Dawson. Well that was pointless. Simon gets a quick two out of the corner and it's off to English for a MANLY elbow. A back elbow and knee drop put Simon down and Dawson drives elbows into the face. The manliness starts running low though so it's off to English to squeeze the juice out of oranges and shave with broken glass. Or maybe for the Whirling Dervish from English for the pin at 3:07.
Becky Lynch has a hip flexor injury and will be out for a few weeks.
Baron Corbin vs. Tucker Knight
Knight looks a lot like Rusev. End of Days in 47 seconds.
The Vaudevillains and Enzo/Cass are in Regal's office. As you might expect, he snaps after about ten seconds of chattering. It's a #1 contenders match next week.
It's time for the last part of the Finn Balor documentary. Balor talks about loving how he spawns creativity from fans with their art. Some of the pictures are cool and I know I'm right because Sami Zayn agrees. We see the Finn Balor debut with Prince Devitt popping up on screen and how he knew the fans were accepting him.
The name is a combination of an Irish warrior named Finwick who went to war against the evil King Balor. The fact that his dad is named Finn didn't hurt either. Matt Bloom (Jason Albert, NXT trainer) says there wasn't much in ring stuff to teach him but he had to learn cameras. Balor says every entrance is a movie, which is an interesting way to look at it.
Quick talk about the Demon giving him more confidence before it's off to saying he's ready to take the title in Japan. A music video of him with some kids doing the Balor pose and everyone talking about how amazing Balor is ends this. These three parts are collected in an NXT special and I really, REALLY recommend you take the thirty minutes to watch it. These are some of the best documentaries WWE has ever done and they make me think Balor is ready for the WWE main event scene right now.
Eva Marie trained earlier today as Regal watched. That could be anywhere between a pleasant surprise to my mind exploding in shock to exactly the disaster a lot of people are expecting.
Emma vs. Carmella
The lack of caring for Carmella when Enzo and Cass aren't there is astounding. Feeling out process to start with Carmella taking her down in a headlock, followed by a hurricanrana out of the corner. Emma grabs the ropes (that's kind of lame) and puts on a bodyscissors for a bit. Carmella fights back and hits a running boot to the side of the head, only to be pulled down into the Emma Lock for the tap out at 4:12.
Bull Dempsey tries to break open a vending machine when Regal shows up to yell at him. The chocolate on Dempsey's lips don't make things any better.
Jason Jordan is annoyed at losing again last week so Chad Gable comes up to offer his services again.
Tyler Breeze vs. Tye Dillinger
Dillinger charges into a boot to start but slugs Breeze down to take over. Tye mocks the photos and the fans give him a ten, which hasn't been explained on NXT so far. A hurricanrana and right hands (straight out of Shawn Michaels' playbook) set up the Beauty Shot for the pin at 2:50.
Emma and Dana Brooke interrupt a Sasha Banks interview to admire the Women's Title. A challenge is thrown down and Sasha says she'll find a partner.
Rhyno/Kevin Owens vs. Samoa Joe/Finn Balor
Joe is billed at 302lbs which sounds bigger than you would think, but it's nice to just admit that he's a bigger guy. Rhyno and Joe slug it out to start with Joe taking over and nailing the jumping kick in the corner. Off to Balor vs. Owens with Finn dropkicking him down but being sent to the floor for daring to try a suplex. Back from a break with the champ holding Balor in a chinlock. That's really dull stuff so it's back to Rhyno for a delayed vertical suplex with some squats thrown in.
Points to Rhyno for picking things up a bit. Owens puts on another chinlock but makes sure to stick out his tongue to the crowd because he makes chinlocks something special. Some of the time at least. We get the Cena finishing sequence but Balor escapes the AA and makes the hot tag to Joe. Rhyno plants him with a spinebuster and Owens adds something resembling a Pop Up Powerbomb. It's back to Balor for a Pele though and the Gore nails the champ by mistake, setting up the Coup de Grace for the pin on Owens (first time in NXT) at 12:40.
Results
Vaudevillains b. Scott Dawson/Dash Wilder Whirling Dervish to Dawson
Baron Corbin b. Tucker Knight End of Days
Emma b. Carmella Emma Lock
Tyler Breeze b. Tye Dillinger Beauty Shot
Finn Balor/Samoa Joe b. Rhyno/Kevin Owens Coup de Grace to Owens
Impact Wrestling
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
This is a big special show called Bell to Bell, headlined by Ethan Carter III challenging Kurt Angle for the World Title. We're also coming off a pretty lackluster Slammiversary with the main story being Jeff Jarrett winning King of the Mountain and taking the newly created title to Global Force Wrestling. We also have a thirty minute Iron Man match for the Tag Team Titles so this is a packed show. Let's get to it.
The opening video looks at Angle's TNA career but tonight he's up against someone who has never lost. It's a simple video but it hits every point it needed to touch.
The Rising vs. Beat Down Clan
The losing team must disband, thank goodness. It's also a 4-3 elimination match with Hernandez/MVP/Kenny King/Low Ki vs. Drew Galloway/Mica/Eli Drake. MVP and Drew get things going with Galloway kicking him in the face and hammering away in the corner. Low Ki comes in and loses some skin off Galloway's chops. It's off to King vs. Mica with the former taking Mica down with ease for a bunch of right hands to the head. That's more aggression than you usually see from him.
The BDC starts taking over but Hernandez isn't pleased that he didn't get a tag. Ki gets a nice running start into the corner and kicks Mica in the head for the elimination. Back with Ki suplexing Galloway for two as this is very one sided so far. Drew quickly rolls over to the corner for the hot tag to Drake for some house cleaning, including a dive to take MVP down on the floor. Drake comes up favoring his knee though and it's time for the trainers. That's officially an elimination so it's Galloway vs. the entire BDC.
Hernandez gets things going for his team as the Pope talks about pork chops. They chop it out in the corner (dang maybe Pope is on to something) but it's quickly off to Ki, who accidentally kicks King in the head, allowing Drew to roll up Low Ki for the elimination, followed by a quick cover on King to get it down to 2-1. See, now that's logical thinking and doesn't make the whole match seem fake.
Drew gives Ki a shoulder breaker onto the steps, likely to write Ki off the show, only to walk into a Border Toss. MVP's Playmaker (or whatever he's calling that stupid move these days) drops Galloway again but he tells MVP to bring it, earning him a Drive By to the head for the pin at 16:45.
Post break, MVP is told that Low Ki is heading to the hospital for his shoulder. Oh yeah that's his way off TV.
Here's Magnus with something to say. He doesn't think much of James Storm and doesn't care that Storm's parents didn't give him enough hugs and kisses. That's an image I didn't expect to think of today. Storm played some mind games but what he forgot was the power of a man when his family is threatened. Magnus brings out Mickie James, who is totally fine after that near death thing. Mickie thanks Magnus for always being there for him because he's the man for her.
Cue Storm and Khoya, with the Cowboy saying he's here to talk to Mickie. He thinks Mickie should be be thanking him for not pushing her a little bit harder. Storm didn't want her in the Revolution, but rather to prove how easy it is to manipulate a woman. He could have any woman he wanted but Mickie doesn't seem to take too kindly to this line of thinking.
Mickie would love to take the bet that Storm can't find one woman to be on his side, because she and Magnus will fight the two of them anytime. This was a pretty awkward exchange but at least it gets Mickie back in the ring and maybe some fresh blood in the Knockouts division. One other thing: it's always amusing to hear the commentary reference a match happening but not being able to say who actually won.
Tag Team Titles: Wolves vs. Dirty Heels
The belts are vacant coming in and this is a thirty minute Iron Man match for the fifth match in a best of five series. I'm so glad this is it for these teams as I'm long past over caring about watching them fight. Oddly enough they say that Aries won but couldn't say who won between Storm and Magnus.
Davey and Aries fight into the corner to start before it's off to the partners with the Wolves taking over on Roode's arm. Back to Aries who takes Eddie down as they're clearly taking their time to start. An elbow to the back gets two on Eddie but he easily drives Aries into the corner for the tag. Things speed up a bit with some Wolves double teaming before Eddie suplexes Austin for no cover. Instead it's off to Davey vs. Roode with Richards putting on a kind of reverse Figure Four.
Ever the smart heel, Aries pushes the bottom rope towards his partner for the save. The Heels (stupid meta name) take over in the corner and start working on Eddie's leg to really slow things down. We hit the ten minute mark as the leg work continues. The Heels make a wish on Eddie's legs but he finally snaps off a hurricanrana to make the tag off to Richards. Davey takes over and everything breaks down with Bobby getting tied up in the Tree of Woe, setting up a swan dive into the corner (cool spot) for two.
We take a break and come back with just under twelve minutes to go and no score. Richards is in trouble and Aries' top rope ax handle to the floor makes it even worse. Edwards breaks up a cover with ten minutes to go. Davey breaks up a catapult into a forearm and stomps Roode down, finally allowing the tag off to Eddie. Edwards kicks Roode off the top and hits a backpack Stunner for a very close two. A jackknife cover gets another near fall on Roode and Eddie is stunned.
Now the catapult works with Aries adding a slingshot elbow drop for two of his own. The Last Chancery nearly gets a submission but Davey makes the save. It's not like that move EVER WORKS ANYWAY so I didn't get the drama. The double top rope double stomp gets a VERY close two on Aries and we hit five minutes to go. Roode plants Edwards with a spinebuster and Aries nails the 450 for the first fall with four minutes left.
The Heels get smart by throwing the Wolves to the floor to kill some time and Aries keeps up the intelligence with a suicide dive to take them both out. Eddie starts fighting back at the two minute mark and the powerbomb/Backstabber combo ties things up with about seventy five seconds left. Roode sneaks in with a belt shot to the head for two but Eddie counters the Roode Bomb into a rollup for the pin. The last ten seconds quickly run out and the Wolves get the titles back at 30:00.
Knockouts Title: Awesome Kong vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell
Taryn is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Brooke and Taryn get in a brawl to start as Kong stomps around the ring. The champ gets double teamed with Kong hitting a corner splash, sending Taryn running to the floor for a breather. Simple heel strategy at least. It's fine with Kong who chinlocks Brooke down and then swings her around by the throat. Taryn comes back in with a dropkick to Kong but she turns around and eats a dropkick from Brooke.
There's a chokeslam from Kong on the champ but the Dollhouse pulls her to the floor for a quick beating. Brooke hits a pretty lame spear on Taryn as Josh wants the Dollhouse gone forever. Yes because the last thing we need are three good looking women on the show. Jade hits a quick Stunner over the top rope to daze Kong, setting up the Taryn Cutter for the pin at 4:44.
Post match the PLAYTIME IS OVER video comes on again.....and it's Gail Kim. Well of course it is, as it's been at least six weeks since she's been out there reminding us how SERIOUS this is and how she's a real wrestler. I know Kim is one of the best Knockouts ever (and probably the best ever) but she's basically the female Dean Malenko: incredibly talented, but the charisma of a frozen turkey dinner.
It's time for the big sitdown interview with the Jarretts. Here's the whole thing: the last eight days were shocking, there's a future between TNA and Global Force, and Jeff is excited about it. This wasn't even two minutes long.
TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Kurt Angle
Angle is defending and Carter is undefeated. After some Big Match Intros we're ready to go with the fans sounding pretty much behind the champ. Thankfully the bell rings after a break so we don't have to miss a bunch of time after a few opening seconds. I wish WWE would figure out that mentality. The fans start the dueling chants as we have a very basic standoff to get things going.
Angle takes him down into a wristlock but is all like SCREW YOU NECK TUMOR and starts busting out the suplexes. Carter is sent to the floor and gets suplexed out there as well with Kurt in all fired up mode. Back in and Carter scores with a clothesline for one and it's off to a chinlock. There's the Stinger Splash, followed by a TKO of all things (always loved that move) for two. Angle misses a charge into the post and gets DDT'd (DDP'd according to Josh) on the apron.
Back from a break with Carter holding a full nelson but Kurt easily powers out because neck surgeries mean nothing to him. Both guys are down off a clothesline but it's Kurt quickly up and busting out the suplexes. The Angle Slam is countered so it's time to roll some more Germans. Now the Slam gets two but Carter breaks up the ankle lock and sends Kurt to the floor. Tyrus finally gets involved with a clothesline but the 1%er is countered into another ankle lock.
That goes nowhere so it's back to the Germans because Kurt is really, really repetitive at times. Another Slam gets another two (remember that repetitive thing?) and it's back to the ankle lock, only to have the referee get bumped on the counter. Tyrus takes Angle out and the 1%er gets two more. Well at least they didn't go with the obvious ending. The monster tries to bring in a chair (because monsters need chairs) and gets ejected as Josh becomes a face announcer again by saying it's the right call.
Another 1%er is countered into the ankle lock with the grapevine but Carter actually makes the rope. I can't imagine there are more than five people that have gotten out of the grapevine version so well done there. Another Angle Slam is countered into a rollup to give Carter the title at 20:16.
Results
Beat Down Clan b. The Rising Drive By to Galloway
Wolves b. Dirty Heels Rollup to Roode
Taryn Terrell b. Awesome Kong and Brooke Taryn Cutter to Kong
Ethan Carter III b. Kurt Angle Rollup