klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
Things are getting interesting around here with last week's show seeing Big Cass revealed as attacking himself to set up Enzo Amore. Why Cass didn't just attack Amore during a match isn't clear but that's life in WWE. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is in the house and planning to call out Samoa Joe. Let's get to it.
Here's Roman Reigns to open things up and the WE WANT STROWMAN chants are already out in full force. Reigns: If you let me get this out you might like this. He admits that he got choked out last week and Braun Strowman returned to pick the bones. The ambulance match is on and Reigns is ready to drive Strowman out of the building.
Cue an ambulance backing into the arena (I was hoping for a Scott Steiner cameo) so Reigns goes to investigate, only to find.....no one in the back. Instead Strowman jumps him from behind and throws Roman onto the stage. Braun isn't done with him though and throws Roman back off the stage and against the ambulance. Reigns gets tossed into the ambulance with the doors closed without much effort.
Elias Samson/Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boyz/Finn Balor
The good guys cut off what was going to be Samson singing with Sheamus and Cesaro, thereby making them villains. Matt and Sheamus start things off and it's quickly off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion. Sheamus and Cesaro are sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Balor kicking Cesaro in the ribs and actor Josh Duhamel on commentary. A basement dropkick gets two for Balor as we hear about Sheamus appearing in a movie with Duhamel.
As you might expect, the match is COMPLETELY ignored to talk about the movie with only Duhamel sounding interested in the action. Balor tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. That doesn't last long either as Jeff slips out and gets in the legdrop between Sheamus' legs, only to be sent into the corner as we take another break.
Back with Sheamus giving Jeff the Irish Curse, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Jeff escapes again and brings in Matt to take over on Samson. The Side Effect gets two with Sheamus making the save, only to have Balor get the hot tag to really clean house. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent outside for the big flip dive. Balor dropkicks Cesaro into the corner and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 17:28.
Goldust is ready to debut the Shattered Truth because it's the grand finale.
R-Truth vs. Goldust
Goldust has his own camera operator and is in his old gear. Truth gets jumped before the bell and laid out. No match.
Paul Heyman is talking about Samoa Joe when Joe comes up and grabs him by the throat. He lets Heyman go and says the Clutch is meant for Lesnar later tonight.
There's a gauntlet match later tonight to determine the #1 contender to the Women's Title. Bayley draws her number and seems pleased.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Their guests tonight: the Ball family of NBA fame. If you don't know who they are, just grit your teeth and bear through it. LaVar, the father, runs to the ring and lays down on the mat for a bit before introducing his son Lonzo, who was recently drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers.
Miz is ready to start a partnership with the Ball's Big Baller Brand but LaVar isn't having any of that. Miz is a bit too low for LaVar, who runs his mouth about how awesome he is even more and climbs onto the bottom rope. LaVar: BOY YOU BETTER STAY IN YOUR LANE OR THE HUNT IS ON AND YOU THE PREY!
A fight is nearly on and here's Dean Ambrose to interrupt, though LaVar keeps running his mouth. Dean is in a Big Baller Brand shirt because no one has bigger balls than him, plus he likes free t-shirts. That's it for the segment, likely before LaVar can say anything else that sounds ridiculous.
Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz
Joined in progress with Slater working on Axel before it's off to Rhyno vs. Miz. The announcers are burying the Big Baller Brand (fair enough as it's overrated and ugly) as Rhyno gets caught in the wrong corner. Axel charges into an elbow in the corner and gets his head clotheslined off, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.
Everything breaks down and the bad guys are all sent outside as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks to Slater. A neckbreaker to Axel and a heel kick to Miz are enough for the hot tag to Rhyno as everything breaks down. Axel gets in a cheap shot on Rhyno, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup for the pin at 10:22.
Long video on Enzo and Big Cass splitting up.
Here's Enzo for his big speech. Enzo says this is about the realest guys in the room. He's been trying to get hold of Cass all week, even calling his mother. The one thing he hasn't done is talk to Cass himself so get out here right now or he's not leaving the ring. This brings out Cass (with a slightly remixed version of the regular theme) to a hearty chorus of booing. Enzo knows that hurts him because he knows Cass better than anyone.
Words can cut you deep and he's already bled out. Cass said a lot last week and a bunch of them were right. Enzo has the biggest mouth in the world and it bites off more than he can chew but it was ok because he had Cass with him. Last week, Cass let out his aggression with a lot of passion, which Enzo has seen from him before. The last time Enzo saw it was when he woke up in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a pay per view. Enzo isn't letting him walk away before they become Tag Team Champions.
Cass takes the mic and says Enzo doesn't know when to shut up. After last week, he's never been so ashamed in his life. Yes Enzo is annoying and loud but that's just how he is. They're not going to change each other and they're brothers. Cass apologizes and they shake hands with Cass hitting the catchphrase. They walk up the ramp....and there's the big clothesline to Enzo. Cass asks the people if they want Enzo before tossing him down the ramp like a doll. That was a great speech from Enzo and Cass not caring is exactly the right call. I'd have had him kick Enzo in the face and leave without saying a word but this works too.
Post break Cass comes up to Corey Graves and tells him to stay out of his life, no matter what Graves has on Angle.
Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins
Hawkins starts fast and grabs a suplex before throwing on a chinlock. Rollins easily fights back and grabs a Sling Blade, followed by a Blockbuster. The springboard clothesline sets up the windup knee to the face for the pin on Hawkins at 2:59.
Bray Wyatt pops up to say Seth isn't being himself and on July 9, he'll take Rollins back where he belongs. So the match is confirmed.
Mickie James and Dana Brooke draw their numbers. Geez people pick up the pace a bit.
Post break, Banks draws her number.
Here's Paul Heyman to talk about Samoa Joe not fearing Brock Lesnar. Heyman could have taken a cheap shot at Joe in the back and been saved by everyone breaking it up but he'd rather have Lesnar do it himself. This brings out Lesnar but Joe grabs him from behind on the stage and puts on the Koquina Clutch. Lesnar turns purple but drives Joe into the video wall, only to get choked down again. The locker room comes out to break it up but Brock looks really shaken.
Again, this was VERY well done with one very special key: Lesnar fought back but got choked down again. That makes it look like Joe can take something from Lesnar instead of just getting the upper hand in a blindside attack. Joe does not have to win the title but just doing stuff like this to make him feel like a threat is exactly what they needed to be doing.
Neville vs. Lince Dorado
Non-title with Akira Tozawa at ringside. Neville kicks him to the corner to start and grabs an early chinlock. Dorado fights up and hits a flip dive through the ropes, only to get kicked in the head. The Rings of Saturn makes Dorado tap at 3:03.
Post match Neville is ready for the fight and Tozawa is happy to oblige but Titus O'Neil comes out to announce the Cruiserweight Title match for Great Balls of Fire. We'll find out if the Neville Level can contend with the Power of Tozawa.
Emma draws.
We look at the opening segment.
Heyman thinks Lesnar will lose if he gets choked out at Great Balls of Fire. As a promoter though, he loves his because it's set up perfectly. At the pay per view, Brock is going to hit the F5 and Samoa Joe is going to need smelling salts to be woken up. Joe is going to say that's what it's like to fight the Beast. Heyman: Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!
Nia Jax has drawn the final number and runs into Alexa Bliss, who knows what it's like to be judged, just like her. She wishes Jax luck but Nia says she doesn't need it.
Gauntlet Match
Six women involved total with two starting. Whoever wins the fall keeps going until all six are in with the last woman surviving getting a title shot at Great Balls of fire. Bayley is in at #1 and Nia Jax is in at #2. Bayley slugs away to start but is easily knocked into the corner for some choking. A missed charge lets Bayley hit a top rope elbow drop to a standing Nia's back but some kicks to the leg don't get her very far. Instead Nia kicks her into the corner and grabs the Samoan drop for the pin at 3:37. Mickie James is in third and we take a break.
Back with Nia blocking a sunset flip and grabbing a bearhug. Mickie slips out and kicks Nia out of the corner, followed by the top rope Thesz press for two. The spinning kick to the head staggers Jax but she runs Mickie over for the pin at 10:03. Dana Brooke is in fourth and the legdrop ends her at 11:02. Emma is in fifth and the Samoan drop gets rid of her at 12:31. That leaves Sasha Banks in sixth and she knocks Nia to the floor, only to have her suicide dive pulled out of the air. Sasha slips out and poses Nia, followed by the running double knees from the apron to take us to another break.
Back again with Nia holding a chinlock until Sasha fights up with the running knees in the corner. A very hard clothesline gives Nia two and she drops an elbow for the same. Nia takes out the leg and sends Sasha outside for a nine count before throwing on a bearhug. Sasha reverses into a guillotine (she's been watching those Bayley tapes) but Nia powers her up into a suplex slam.
The legdrop misses though and Sasha hits a hard running elbow to the face. A standing Banks Statement is easily broken up and there's another Samoan drop to send Sasha out to the apron. Nia pulls her up but gets caught in a modified Bank Statement with both of them on their knees, finally drawing the tap at 28:21.
Post match Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa is out as well but gets kicked in the face, allowing Sasha to hold up the title to end the show.
Results
Finn Balor/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Elias Samson Coup de Grace to Cesaro
Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz b. Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose Rollup to Rhyno
Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins Windup knee to the face
Neville b. Lince Dorado Rings of Saturn
Sasha Banks won a gauntlet match last eliminating Nia Jax
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2017
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It's ladies night with two major women's matches on the card. First up we have the second ever women's Money in the Bank ladder match as the WWE tries to fix the mess they made out of the first one just nine days ago. After that we have Lana challenging Naomi for the Women's Title in another Money in the Bank rematch. It's almost like they're just doing the same things twice for the sake of not having to come up with anything new. Let's get to it.
The opening recap looks at the Money in the Bank ladder match from the pay per view and the build to tonight with the theme of seizing opportunity when you get the chance. This is also used on the rest of the major stories going on around here.
Here's Daniel Bryan to hype up the ladder match and explain the concept, only to be cut off by Carmella. She goes on the same rant she went on last week, explaining the rules of the Money in the Bank match and saying she didn't break any rules. Carmella: How can you break a rule if there are no rules??? Other people have interfered in ladder matches and those results weren't changed. Bryan says he's heard this before and we're having the ladder match.
James Ellsworth tells the people to shut up and calls Bryan pathetic. He looks at Bryan and sees a coward who is staying out of the ring because of some fake injury. Daniel smiles and says he should just fire Ellsworth but instead just bans him from the entire arena for the rest of the night. Security comes out and drags him away as this opening segment wraps up after nearly fifteen minutes with really nothing new being done.
Hype Bros vs. Usos
Non-title but if the Hype Bros win, they get a future title shot. Zack and Jimmy start things off with an armdrag sending Uso down. It's off to both partners with Mojo clotheslining Jey to the floor for a dive from Ryder. Jey gets in a superkick though and we take a break. Back with Ryder missing a charge in the corner and Jimmy adding the Superfly splash for the pin at 5:42. Not enough to rate due to the break but the commercial seemed completely worthless as there was less than ten seconds of action after the break.
Post match the New Day comes out to challenge for the titles at Battleground. The Usos accept, in rhyme no less. Kofi rhymes a bit of his own and tromboning ensues.
It's Fashion Vice time with Ascension sitting in an interrogation room to be grilled by Breezango. Fandango holds up the stick figure drawing, which Konnor says isn't them. Fandango: You expect me to believe that? Because I do. He offers two tickets to paradise (as in Eddie Money tickets) in exchange for information but that goes nowhere.
Breeze pulls out the water guns....and offers them iced tea and a cheese platter. Konnor says it wasn't them and they were just at Money in the Bank to get a match. Noise is heard elsewhere and they leave to find their office trashed again. Fandango: Sweet Richard Simmons. There must be someone else so Breezango starts thinking. As they do, Ascension takes the concert tickets. That's better as Ascension was the lamest reveal they could have done.
Women's Title: Naomi vs. Lana
Lana is challenging and jumps Naomi during the Big Match Intros. The bell rings and Lana's sitout spinebuster gets two. So much for that as a finisher. Naomi kicks her in the head and hits the split legged moonsault to retain at 41 seconds.
Becky Lynch is ready to have a fair chance to win Money in the Bank.
Here's Aiden English to sing about how awesome he is. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off and we take a break. Back with Orton sitting in a chair, having RKO'd English during the commercial. We look back at Orton taking out the Singh Brothers last week (because we haven't had enough filler on this show yet) before Orton says he wants another shot at Mahal's title.
If he doesn't get it, he's going to beat Mahal up in the back. Then he'll beat Mahal up in the parking lot. Then he'll beat Mahal up in the airport. Then he'll beat Mahal up at next week's show too. At what point does Mahal file a restraining order? Here's Shane McMahon to keep Orton from going Mahal hunting by saying we can't have this. Orton is willing to be fired and go from city to city and spend all his money beating Mahal up.
Shane points out that the Singh Brothers did things that Orton has done before but he can sympathize with these feelings. The rematch is set for Battleground but there will be a stipulation chosen by Mahal. That's cool with Orton but here's Mahal to interrupt as well. Mahal says this is what's wrong with everything around here when Orton isn't worthy of a rematch. He mentions Great Khali being an inspiration (who he hated back in the day) and makes it a Punjabi Prison match. As luck would have it, there's a video all primed up and ready to go as soon as he says it.
AJ Styles and Kevin Owens come in to see Bryan with Owens saying AJ couldn't answer last week's Open Challenge because he's already been beaten. Styles makes an Anchorman reference which Owens doesn't get (I don't either as I only saw that movie once and didn't care for it. I'll wait here for you to gather your pitchforks.). Bryan has an idea: next week on the Fourth of July, we'll have a battle royal with the winner facing Owens for the title at Battleground.
Here are Mike and Maria Kanellis for their Smackdown debut, only to have Sami Zayn cut them off in just a few seconds.
Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin
Sami goes right after him to start and sends Corbin to the floor, only to get tossed into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Corbin still in control and grabbing a bearhug. Sami slips out and hits that hard clothesline of his and avoids a charge, sending Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin misses another charge and gets rolled up for two before driving Sami right back into the same corner. A headbutt puts Corbin down but he catches a charging Sami with End of Days for the pin at 8:11.
Shinsuke Nakamura says Corbin is scared of him and for good reason.
Charlotte vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Natalya
Money in the Bank. Everyone brawls on the floor to start, leaving Carmella to make the very early climb. Naturally it's very slow, allowing the other four to come in and stop her without too much effort. We're quickly down to Becky vs. Charlotte with Lynch being left alone, only to have Tamina come back to send her into the ladder. A not great looking Superfly Splash crushes Becky and we take a break.
Back with Natalya suplexing Charlotte but getting suplexed on the floor by Becky. Charlotte and Tamina fight over the ladder until Natalya makes a save and loads it up over Charlotte in the corner. Natalya starts to climb but Charlotte shoves her ladder up to make a ramp for the save. Carmella shoves the ladder over, only to take a pumphandle suplex from Becky.
Back from another break with Natalya climbing slowly enough that Charlotte can make a save. Everyone but Carmella gets shoved down but the other four are right back to lift the ladder up and carry it away from the case. Carmella dives onto Becky and Natalya, leaving Charlotte to drop Tamina again. Charlotte puts the ladder over Tamina and climbs but Carmella is back to grab her legs.
Tamina pushes the ladder up from the mat for another save and superkicks the air in front of Charlotte's face. A double powerbomb brings Carmella down but Natalya tries a Sharpshooter on Carmella. The announcers say it's to take the legs out, though HITTING HER WITH A LADDER might make more sense.
Natalya goes after Charlotte and fights her into the crowd.....and here's Ellsworth to climb the ladder. Becky shoves him over and crotches him on the top. Carmella makes another save and Becky hurts her leg on the landing. Carmella gives her a really bad chair shot to the back and climbs up for the briefcase at 24:29.
Results
Usos b. Hype Bros Superfly Splash to Ryder
Naomi b. Lana Split legged moonsault
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn End of Days
Carmella won Money in the Bank
Wednesday
NXT
Date: June 28, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness
It's a new taping cycle here and that means a major change in the commentary team. This time around Mauro Ranallo has taken over the lead play by play role which should help for tonight's main event. Tonight, Asuka defends her Women's Title against Nikki Cross in a Last Woman Standing match. Let's get to it.
The opening video looks at the Women's Title match and how Cross is a different kind of challenger.
Opening sequence.
Nigel welcomes Mauro to the announcers' team and we preview the title match.
Velveteen Dream vs. Hoho Lun
Lun kicks and strikes away to start, earning himself a boot to the face. Dream easily powers him up for a Jackhammer and the top rope elbow puts Lun away at 1:54.
Asuka was arriving earlier today when Cross jumped her car. Security made the save but Asuka got out for the staredown. Why the car didn't keep going when Cross was no longer in front of it isn't clear.
We look back a few weeks at Hideo Itami attacking Oney Lorcan until Kassius Ohno made the save.
The Authors of Pain and Heavy Machinery are in William Regal's office where he makes a Tag Team Title match in two weeks.
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan
Lorcan knocks him into the corner at the bell.....and Itami's nose is bleeding so badly that the match is stopped at 1:19, about 60 seconds of which was Itami being checked.
We recap Roderick Strong vs. Bobby Roode with some clips from Strong's bio videos from a few weeks back. Strong has a newborn son and wants the NXT Title to complete his family but Roode laughs off the idea of Strong moving up that fast because Strong isn't on his level. Roode then went a step further by making a bit of a pass at Strong's wife, officially sending Strong over the edge.
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan
Itami has his nose taped up and kicks Lorcan in the jaw at the bell. A running knee to the back of the head knocks Lorcan even sillier and we take a break with Oney down on the floor. Back with Lorcan hitting his running European uppercuts and a Blockbuster gets two. The GTS is broken up and Itami snaps the throat across the top. Lorcan goes down holding his knee but the GTS finishes him off anyway at 6:45.
Post match Itami calls Ohno out....but here's Sanity to go after both of them. Itami is thrown out side (where he lands on Lorcan) as Alexander Wolfe and Killian Dain leave Ohno laying. Wolfe says we need to get rid of these false friendship and Eric Young knows how to do so.
Women's Title: Asuka vs. Nikki Cross
Asuka is defending and this is Last Woman Standing. Nikki gets beaten up against the ropes and out to the floor but Asuka's baseball slide gets caught in the ring skirt. She hammers on the champ and builds up a pile of chairs as we take a break. Back with Asuka not being able to suplex Nikki onto said pile but getting sent into the steps instead. Nikki goes into the steps again but Asuka sends her into them as well.
It's trashcan time and that means an ECW chant. Asuka puts the can over Nikki's head and kicks away, followed by a missile dropkick for good measure. They fight over a chair with Asuka being sent outside, only to have Nikki dive into a knee to the head. Another pile of chairs is stacked up in the ring and Nikki is slammed off the top onto the pile for a seven count.
We take another break and come back with Asuka kicking her in the chest, drawing laughter from Nikki. Cross grabs four straight fisherman's neckbreakers (because she's a bit crazy and actually acts like it for a change) but Asuka is up at nine. Nikki grabs the belt but gets it kicked back into her own face.
She's up at eight and laughing even more before blocking a suplex to the floor. A powerbomb onto the pile of chairs on the floor gets nine on the champ. They stagger up the ramp with Asuka hitting the hip attack off the stage for nine. Nikki picks her up and hits a hanging swinging neckbreaker off the barricade for a sick thud. She's up at nine again and Nikki is looking crazier than usual. A spinning backfist sends Nikki staggering into the back and it's table time.
Nikki sets one up near the announcers' table and grabs a ladder to make things worse. They both climb the ladder and Asuka superplexes her through the announcers' table for a huge crash and the HOLY S*** chant. Nikki is DONE and Asuka beats the count at nine to retain at 26:00.
Medics come out to check on a smiling Nikki to end the show.
Results
Velveteen Dream b. Hoho Lun Top rope elbow
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan went to a no contest when Itami was injured
Hideo Itami b. Oney Lorcan GTS
Asuka b. Nikki Cross Superplex through the announcers' table
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
Things are getting interesting around here with last week's show seeing Big Cass revealed as attacking himself to set up Enzo Amore. Why Cass didn't just attack Amore during a match isn't clear but that's life in WWE. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is in the house and planning to call out Samoa Joe. Let's get to it.
Here's Roman Reigns to open things up and the WE WANT STROWMAN chants are already out in full force. Reigns: If you let me get this out you might like this. He admits that he got choked out last week and Braun Strowman returned to pick the bones. The ambulance match is on and Reigns is ready to drive Strowman out of the building.
Cue an ambulance backing into the arena (I was hoping for a Scott Steiner cameo) so Reigns goes to investigate, only to find.....no one in the back. Instead Strowman jumps him from behind and throws Roman onto the stage. Braun isn't done with him though and throws Roman back off the stage and against the ambulance. Reigns gets tossed into the ambulance with the doors closed without much effort.
Elias Samson/Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Hardy Boyz/Finn Balor
The good guys cut off what was going to be Samson singing with Sheamus and Cesaro, thereby making them villains. Matt and Sheamus start things off and it's quickly off to Jeff for Poetry in Motion. Sheamus and Cesaro are sent to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Balor kicking Cesaro in the ribs and actor Josh Duhamel on commentary. A basement dropkick gets two for Balor as we hear about Sheamus appearing in a movie with Duhamel.
As you might expect, the match is COMPLETELY ignored to talk about the movie with only Duhamel sounding interested in the action. Balor tries to fight out of the corner but gets caught in an over the shoulder backbreaker. That doesn't last long either as Jeff slips out and gets in the legdrop between Sheamus' legs, only to be sent into the corner as we take another break.
Back with Sheamus giving Jeff the Irish Curse, which the announcers actually acknowledge. Jeff escapes again and brings in Matt to take over on Samson. The Side Effect gets two with Sheamus making the save, only to have Balor get the hot tag to really clean house. The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus is sent outside for the big flip dive. Balor dropkicks Cesaro into the corner and the Coup de Grace is good for the pin at 17:28.
Goldust is ready to debut the Shattered Truth because it's the grand finale.
R-Truth vs. Goldust
Goldust has his own camera operator and is in his old gear. Truth gets jumped before the bell and laid out. No match.
Paul Heyman is talking about Samoa Joe when Joe comes up and grabs him by the throat. He lets Heyman go and says the Clutch is meant for Lesnar later tonight.
There's a gauntlet match later tonight to determine the #1 contender to the Women's Title. Bayley draws her number and seems pleased.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Their guests tonight: the Ball family of NBA fame. If you don't know who they are, just grit your teeth and bear through it. LaVar, the father, runs to the ring and lays down on the mat for a bit before introducing his son Lonzo, who was recently drafted by the Los Angeles Lakers.
Miz is ready to start a partnership with the Ball's Big Baller Brand but LaVar isn't having any of that. Miz is a bit too low for LaVar, who runs his mouth about how awesome he is even more and climbs onto the bottom rope. LaVar: BOY YOU BETTER STAY IN YOUR LANE OR THE HUNT IS ON AND YOU THE PREY!
A fight is nearly on and here's Dean Ambrose to interrupt, though LaVar keeps running his mouth. Dean is in a Big Baller Brand shirt because no one has bigger balls than him, plus he likes free t-shirts. That's it for the segment, likely before LaVar can say anything else that sounds ridiculous.
Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz
Joined in progress with Slater working on Axel before it's off to Rhyno vs. Miz. The announcers are burying the Big Baller Brand (fair enough as it's overrated and ugly) as Rhyno gets caught in the wrong corner. Axel charges into an elbow in the corner and gets his head clotheslined off, allowing the tag off to Ambrose.
Everything breaks down and the bad guys are all sent outside as we take a break. Back with Miz hitting the YES Kicks to Slater. A neckbreaker to Axel and a heel kick to Miz are enough for the hot tag to Rhyno as everything breaks down. Axel gets in a cheap shot on Rhyno, allowing Dallas to grab a rollup for the pin at 10:22.
Long video on Enzo and Big Cass splitting up.
Here's Enzo for his big speech. Enzo says this is about the realest guys in the room. He's been trying to get hold of Cass all week, even calling his mother. The one thing he hasn't done is talk to Cass himself so get out here right now or he's not leaving the ring. This brings out Cass (with a slightly remixed version of the regular theme) to a hearty chorus of booing. Enzo knows that hurts him because he knows Cass better than anyone.
Words can cut you deep and he's already bled out. Cass said a lot last week and a bunch of them were right. Enzo has the biggest mouth in the world and it bites off more than he can chew but it was ok because he had Cass with him. Last week, Cass let out his aggression with a lot of passion, which Enzo has seen from him before. The last time Enzo saw it was when he woke up in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a pay per view. Enzo isn't letting him walk away before they become Tag Team Champions.
Cass takes the mic and says Enzo doesn't know when to shut up. After last week, he's never been so ashamed in his life. Yes Enzo is annoying and loud but that's just how he is. They're not going to change each other and they're brothers. Cass apologizes and they shake hands with Cass hitting the catchphrase. They walk up the ramp....and there's the big clothesline to Enzo. Cass asks the people if they want Enzo before tossing him down the ramp like a doll. That was a great speech from Enzo and Cass not caring is exactly the right call. I'd have had him kick Enzo in the face and leave without saying a word but this works too.
Post break Cass comes up to Corey Graves and tells him to stay out of his life, no matter what Graves has on Angle.
Seth Rollins vs. Curt Hawkins
Hawkins starts fast and grabs a suplex before throwing on a chinlock. Rollins easily fights back and grabs a Sling Blade, followed by a Blockbuster. The springboard clothesline sets up the windup knee to the face for the pin on Hawkins at 2:59.
Bray Wyatt pops up to say Seth isn't being himself and on July 9, he'll take Rollins back where he belongs. So the match is confirmed.
Mickie James and Dana Brooke draw their numbers. Geez people pick up the pace a bit.
Post break, Banks draws her number.
Here's Paul Heyman to talk about Samoa Joe not fearing Brock Lesnar. Heyman could have taken a cheap shot at Joe in the back and been saved by everyone breaking it up but he'd rather have Lesnar do it himself. This brings out Lesnar but Joe grabs him from behind on the stage and puts on the Koquina Clutch. Lesnar turns purple but drives Joe into the video wall, only to get choked down again. The locker room comes out to break it up but Brock looks really shaken.
Again, this was VERY well done with one very special key: Lesnar fought back but got choked down again. That makes it look like Joe can take something from Lesnar instead of just getting the upper hand in a blindside attack. Joe does not have to win the title but just doing stuff like this to make him feel like a threat is exactly what they needed to be doing.
Neville vs. Lince Dorado
Non-title with Akira Tozawa at ringside. Neville kicks him to the corner to start and grabs an early chinlock. Dorado fights up and hits a flip dive through the ropes, only to get kicked in the head. The Rings of Saturn makes Dorado tap at 3:03.
Post match Neville is ready for the fight and Tozawa is happy to oblige but Titus O'Neil comes out to announce the Cruiserweight Title match for Great Balls of Fire. We'll find out if the Neville Level can contend with the Power of Tozawa.
Emma draws.
We look at the opening segment.
Heyman thinks Lesnar will lose if he gets choked out at Great Balls of Fire. As a promoter though, he loves his because it's set up perfectly. At the pay per view, Brock is going to hit the F5 and Samoa Joe is going to need smelling salts to be woken up. Joe is going to say that's what it's like to fight the Beast. Heyman: Goodness, gracious, GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!
Nia Jax has drawn the final number and runs into Alexa Bliss, who knows what it's like to be judged, just like her. She wishes Jax luck but Nia says she doesn't need it.
Gauntlet Match
Six women involved total with two starting. Whoever wins the fall keeps going until all six are in with the last woman surviving getting a title shot at Great Balls of fire. Bayley is in at #1 and Nia Jax is in at #2. Bayley slugs away to start but is easily knocked into the corner for some choking. A missed charge lets Bayley hit a top rope elbow drop to a standing Nia's back but some kicks to the leg don't get her very far. Instead Nia kicks her into the corner and grabs the Samoan drop for the pin at 3:37. Mickie James is in third and we take a break.
Back with Nia blocking a sunset flip and grabbing a bearhug. Mickie slips out and kicks Nia out of the corner, followed by the top rope Thesz press for two. The spinning kick to the head staggers Jax but she runs Mickie over for the pin at 10:03. Dana Brooke is in fourth and the legdrop ends her at 11:02. Emma is in fifth and the Samoan drop gets rid of her at 12:31. That leaves Sasha Banks in sixth and she knocks Nia to the floor, only to have her suicide dive pulled out of the air. Sasha slips out and poses Nia, followed by the running double knees from the apron to take us to another break.
Back again with Nia holding a chinlock until Sasha fights up with the running knees in the corner. A very hard clothesline gives Nia two and she drops an elbow for the same. Nia takes out the leg and sends Sasha outside for a nine count before throwing on a bearhug. Sasha reverses into a guillotine (she's been watching those Bayley tapes) but Nia powers her up into a suplex slam.
The legdrop misses though and Sasha hits a hard running elbow to the face. A standing Banks Statement is easily broken up and there's another Samoan drop to send Sasha out to the apron. Nia pulls her up but gets caught in a modified Bank Statement with both of them on their knees, finally drawing the tap at 28:21.
Post match Kurt Angle comes out to congratulate Sasha. Alexa is out as well but gets kicked in the face, allowing Sasha to hold up the title to end the show.
Results
Finn Balor/Hardy Boyz b. Cesaro/Sheamus/Elias Samson Coup de Grace to Cesaro
Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas/Miz b. Heath Slater/Rhyno/Dean Ambrose Rollup to Rhyno
Seth Rollins b. Curt Hawkins Windup knee to the face
Neville b. Lince Dorado Rings of Saturn
Sasha Banks won a gauntlet match last eliminating Nia Jax
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: June 27, 2017
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It's ladies night with two major women's matches on the card. First up we have the second ever women's Money in the Bank ladder match as the WWE tries to fix the mess they made out of the first one just nine days ago. After that we have Lana challenging Naomi for the Women's Title in another Money in the Bank rematch. It's almost like they're just doing the same things twice for the sake of not having to come up with anything new. Let's get to it.
The opening recap looks at the Money in the Bank ladder match from the pay per view and the build to tonight with the theme of seizing opportunity when you get the chance. This is also used on the rest of the major stories going on around here.
Here's Daniel Bryan to hype up the ladder match and explain the concept, only to be cut off by Carmella. She goes on the same rant she went on last week, explaining the rules of the Money in the Bank match and saying she didn't break any rules. Carmella: How can you break a rule if there are no rules??? Other people have interfered in ladder matches and those results weren't changed. Bryan says he's heard this before and we're having the ladder match.
James Ellsworth tells the people to shut up and calls Bryan pathetic. He looks at Bryan and sees a coward who is staying out of the ring because of some fake injury. Daniel smiles and says he should just fire Ellsworth but instead just bans him from the entire arena for the rest of the night. Security comes out and drags him away as this opening segment wraps up after nearly fifteen minutes with really nothing new being done.
Hype Bros vs. Usos
Non-title but if the Hype Bros win, they get a future title shot. Zack and Jimmy start things off with an armdrag sending Uso down. It's off to both partners with Mojo clotheslining Jey to the floor for a dive from Ryder. Jey gets in a superkick though and we take a break. Back with Ryder missing a charge in the corner and Jimmy adding the Superfly splash for the pin at 5:42. Not enough to rate due to the break but the commercial seemed completely worthless as there was less than ten seconds of action after the break.
Post match the New Day comes out to challenge for the titles at Battleground. The Usos accept, in rhyme no less. Kofi rhymes a bit of his own and tromboning ensues.
It's Fashion Vice time with Ascension sitting in an interrogation room to be grilled by Breezango. Fandango holds up the stick figure drawing, which Konnor says isn't them. Fandango: You expect me to believe that? Because I do. He offers two tickets to paradise (as in Eddie Money tickets) in exchange for information but that goes nowhere.
Breeze pulls out the water guns....and offers them iced tea and a cheese platter. Konnor says it wasn't them and they were just at Money in the Bank to get a match. Noise is heard elsewhere and they leave to find their office trashed again. Fandango: Sweet Richard Simmons. There must be someone else so Breezango starts thinking. As they do, Ascension takes the concert tickets. That's better as Ascension was the lamest reveal they could have done.
Women's Title: Naomi vs. Lana
Lana is challenging and jumps Naomi during the Big Match Intros. The bell rings and Lana's sitout spinebuster gets two. So much for that as a finisher. Naomi kicks her in the head and hits the split legged moonsault to retain at 41 seconds.
Becky Lynch is ready to have a fair chance to win Money in the Bank.
Here's Aiden English to sing about how awesome he is. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off and we take a break. Back with Orton sitting in a chair, having RKO'd English during the commercial. We look back at Orton taking out the Singh Brothers last week (because we haven't had enough filler on this show yet) before Orton says he wants another shot at Mahal's title.
If he doesn't get it, he's going to beat Mahal up in the back. Then he'll beat Mahal up in the parking lot. Then he'll beat Mahal up in the airport. Then he'll beat Mahal up at next week's show too. At what point does Mahal file a restraining order? Here's Shane McMahon to keep Orton from going Mahal hunting by saying we can't have this. Orton is willing to be fired and go from city to city and spend all his money beating Mahal up.
Shane points out that the Singh Brothers did things that Orton has done before but he can sympathize with these feelings. The rematch is set for Battleground but there will be a stipulation chosen by Mahal. That's cool with Orton but here's Mahal to interrupt as well. Mahal says this is what's wrong with everything around here when Orton isn't worthy of a rematch. He mentions Great Khali being an inspiration (who he hated back in the day) and makes it a Punjabi Prison match. As luck would have it, there's a video all primed up and ready to go as soon as he says it.
AJ Styles and Kevin Owens come in to see Bryan with Owens saying AJ couldn't answer last week's Open Challenge because he's already been beaten. Styles makes an Anchorman reference which Owens doesn't get (I don't either as I only saw that movie once and didn't care for it. I'll wait here for you to gather your pitchforks.). Bryan has an idea: next week on the Fourth of July, we'll have a battle royal with the winner facing Owens for the title at Battleground.
Here are Mike and Maria Kanellis for their Smackdown debut, only to have Sami Zayn cut them off in just a few seconds.
Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin
Sami goes right after him to start and sends Corbin to the floor, only to get tossed into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Corbin still in control and grabbing a bearhug. Sami slips out and hits that hard clothesline of his and avoids a charge, sending Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin misses another charge and gets rolled up for two before driving Sami right back into the same corner. A headbutt puts Corbin down but he catches a charging Sami with End of Days for the pin at 8:11.
Shinsuke Nakamura says Corbin is scared of him and for good reason.
Charlotte vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Natalya
Money in the Bank. Everyone brawls on the floor to start, leaving Carmella to make the very early climb. Naturally it's very slow, allowing the other four to come in and stop her without too much effort. We're quickly down to Becky vs. Charlotte with Lynch being left alone, only to have Tamina come back to send her into the ladder. A not great looking Superfly Splash crushes Becky and we take a break.
Back with Natalya suplexing Charlotte but getting suplexed on the floor by Becky. Charlotte and Tamina fight over the ladder until Natalya makes a save and loads it up over Charlotte in the corner. Natalya starts to climb but Charlotte shoves her ladder up to make a ramp for the save. Carmella shoves the ladder over, only to take a pumphandle suplex from Becky.
Back from another break with Natalya climbing slowly enough that Charlotte can make a save. Everyone but Carmella gets shoved down but the other four are right back to lift the ladder up and carry it away from the case. Carmella dives onto Becky and Natalya, leaving Charlotte to drop Tamina again. Charlotte puts the ladder over Tamina and climbs but Carmella is back to grab her legs.
Tamina pushes the ladder up from the mat for another save and superkicks the air in front of Charlotte's face. A double powerbomb brings Carmella down but Natalya tries a Sharpshooter on Carmella. The announcers say it's to take the legs out, though HITTING HER WITH A LADDER might make more sense.
Natalya goes after Charlotte and fights her into the crowd.....and here's Ellsworth to climb the ladder. Becky shoves him over and crotches him on the top. Carmella makes another save and Becky hurts her leg on the landing. Carmella gives her a really bad chair shot to the back and climbs up for the briefcase at 24:29.
Results
Usos b. Hype Bros Superfly Splash to Ryder
Naomi b. Lana Split legged moonsault
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn End of Days
Carmella won Money in the Bank
Wednesday
NXT
Date: June 28, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness
It's a new taping cycle here and that means a major change in the commentary team. This time around Mauro Ranallo has taken over the lead play by play role which should help for tonight's main event. Tonight, Asuka defends her Women's Title against Nikki Cross in a Last Woman Standing match. Let's get to it.
The opening video looks at the Women's Title match and how Cross is a different kind of challenger.
Opening sequence.
Nigel welcomes Mauro to the announcers' team and we preview the title match.
Velveteen Dream vs. Hoho Lun
Lun kicks and strikes away to start, earning himself a boot to the face. Dream easily powers him up for a Jackhammer and the top rope elbow puts Lun away at 1:54.
Asuka was arriving earlier today when Cross jumped her car. Security made the save but Asuka got out for the staredown. Why the car didn't keep going when Cross was no longer in front of it isn't clear.
We look back a few weeks at Hideo Itami attacking Oney Lorcan until Kassius Ohno made the save.
The Authors of Pain and Heavy Machinery are in William Regal's office where he makes a Tag Team Title match in two weeks.
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan
Lorcan knocks him into the corner at the bell.....and Itami's nose is bleeding so badly that the match is stopped at 1:19, about 60 seconds of which was Itami being checked.
We recap Roderick Strong vs. Bobby Roode with some clips from Strong's bio videos from a few weeks back. Strong has a newborn son and wants the NXT Title to complete his family but Roode laughs off the idea of Strong moving up that fast because Strong isn't on his level. Roode then went a step further by making a bit of a pass at Strong's wife, officially sending Strong over the edge.
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan
Itami has his nose taped up and kicks Lorcan in the jaw at the bell. A running knee to the back of the head knocks Lorcan even sillier and we take a break with Oney down on the floor. Back with Lorcan hitting his running European uppercuts and a Blockbuster gets two. The GTS is broken up and Itami snaps the throat across the top. Lorcan goes down holding his knee but the GTS finishes him off anyway at 6:45.
Post match Itami calls Ohno out....but here's Sanity to go after both of them. Itami is thrown out side (where he lands on Lorcan) as Alexander Wolfe and Killian Dain leave Ohno laying. Wolfe says we need to get rid of these false friendship and Eric Young knows how to do so.
Women's Title: Asuka vs. Nikki Cross
Asuka is defending and this is Last Woman Standing. Nikki gets beaten up against the ropes and out to the floor but Asuka's baseball slide gets caught in the ring skirt. She hammers on the champ and builds up a pile of chairs as we take a break. Back with Asuka not being able to suplex Nikki onto said pile but getting sent into the steps instead. Nikki goes into the steps again but Asuka sends her into them as well.
It's trashcan time and that means an ECW chant. Asuka puts the can over Nikki's head and kicks away, followed by a missile dropkick for good measure. They fight over a chair with Asuka being sent outside, only to have Nikki dive into a knee to the head. Another pile of chairs is stacked up in the ring and Nikki is slammed off the top onto the pile for a seven count.
We take another break and come back with Asuka kicking her in the chest, drawing laughter from Nikki. Cross grabs four straight fisherman's neckbreakers (because she's a bit crazy and actually acts like it for a change) but Asuka is up at nine. Nikki grabs the belt but gets it kicked back into her own face.
She's up at eight and laughing even more before blocking a suplex to the floor. A powerbomb onto the pile of chairs on the floor gets nine on the champ. They stagger up the ramp with Asuka hitting the hip attack off the stage for nine. Nikki picks her up and hits a hanging swinging neckbreaker off the barricade for a sick thud. She's up at nine again and Nikki is looking crazier than usual. A spinning backfist sends Nikki staggering into the back and it's table time.
Nikki sets one up near the announcers' table and grabs a ladder to make things worse. They both climb the ladder and Asuka superplexes her through the announcers' table for a huge crash and the HOLY S*** chant. Nikki is DONE and Asuka beats the count at nine to retain at 26:00.
Medics come out to check on a smiling Nikki to end the show.
Results
Velveteen Dream b. Hoho Lun Top rope elbow
Hideo Itami vs. Oney Lorcan went to a no contest when Itami was injured
Hideo Itami b. Oney Lorcan GTS
Asuka b. Nikki Cross Superplex through the announcers' table