klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Jacob Novak was released. This is proof there is a higher power out there. Michael Tarver and three other developmental guys are gone too.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
This is a three hour show and billed as WWE All-Stars. The guest GM for the night is Steve Austin so expect some extra fans to be brought in because of him. Its also the final show before Capitol Punishment so the final push towards that should happen tonight. Cena and Truth will probably interact a good deal tonight which should be entertaining. Lets get to it.
Cena vs. Punk in the main event. Oh joy. The graphics are from the All-Stars game.
Heres Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual. Miz says hes the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week. Then again you would have to be a moron to know that. You know, like Alex Riley. The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001. No it wasnt but well let that slide.
Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up theres Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight. Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is. Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things. The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.
Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil. Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say. Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that hes got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday. Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no. Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling. Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.
Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows whats good for him hell get out of here right now. Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that its not Mizs time to be a hero. Miz finally leaves to solid heat. Heres Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again. Del Rio does his usual intro and says its time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.
He talks about destiny of course and Austin isnt all that impressed. He says hes not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future. Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rios skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.
Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio
The bell is after the break. Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two. Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm. Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands. Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but cant hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope. Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50. Not much at all here.
Alberto still wont let go and heres Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto. Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo. Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go. Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.
Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.
Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan
They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start. Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes. The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus. Cole keeps ignoring Lawlers jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved. Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan. Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.
Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me. Theyre so basic but they look good and convincing. Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save. Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them. Jackson takes Barrett down again and heres Cara. Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45. Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.
Back and heres Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon. And heres R-Truth to end that. Theyre all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently. He wants to try but hes going to become the new champion on Sunday. Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesnt work. Truth grabs him and .hugs him. Ok then. Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Awesome! Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and heres Austin on the big screen. Truth has a match later with John Morrison! Hes back! Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves. Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.
Santino Marella vs. Sheamus
The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy. Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner. Not that any of them hit but hes trying at least. Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two. Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.
Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline. High Cross doesnt work and he loads up the Cobra. Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra! Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50. Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.
Orton is up next.
We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.
Heres Orton to a fairly tame reaction. And Ortons mic doesnt work. He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk. He wont punt him or try an RKO. All he wants to do is talk. Orton says dont make him come back there. He might go to the papers otherwise.
Christian pops up on the screen and says hes earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him. He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here. The fans cheer, so of course hes not coming. Orton says Edge isnt here which is a shame. Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.
That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt. Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp. Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save. Theres an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently. He wont wrestle tonight so the GM says go home. If Orton doesnt chill hes stripped of the title. Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves. It wasnt a big charge so its ok I guess. Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.
Christian vs. Rey Mysterio
Booker jumps in on commentary here. Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday. Havent we seen that a lot recently? I guess thats the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense. Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors. And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over. Off to the chinlock which doesnt last long. Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up. Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey .and its a DQ? The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that? Id bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all. Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk. Rey dives on him instead and heres Nexus. Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down. 619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker. Killswitch leaves Rey laying.
Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up. She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday. Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate. Dolph doesnt want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him. Austin says hes just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises. So are they split up or not?
R-Truth vs. John Morrison
We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth. And theres no Morrison. The music plays again and theres no Morrison. Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself. Truth says hell bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back. To the back we go and someone is out cold. SHAZAM! Its Morrison, still down and holding his neck. Maybe hes not back yet. Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match. Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case. Truth has the funniest psycho face youll ever see as we go to break.
Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston
No pyro for Swaggers pushups. Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess theyre still together. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow its Dolph getting the cover. Odd indeed. Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two. Vader Bomb misses though and its off to Bourne.
Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but theres the ankle lock. Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot. Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger. Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55. Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.
Back and its time for Pipers Pit. Yep, Piper is drunk. Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring. Heres Miz to say really. Miz says hes the next Piper, Piper says theres never going to be another Roddy Piper. Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least hes been WWE Champion. He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.
Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live. Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World. Piper says lets talk about the future, like this Sunday. Heres Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend. Piper says that gave him self respect. Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.
Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first? Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about. Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS! That was great. Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME. Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now. Miz says hell put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now. Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000? Austin pops up and says do it. Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee. Hilarious as well as good segment here.
Roddy Piper vs. The Miz
Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes. Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper. Riley pulls him off and here they go. Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.
Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.
Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn
If this goes past two minutes Ill be stunned. Kelly and Brie start but its off to Melina or Rosa and theres the big brawl almost immediately. Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and were done at 1:25. Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.
Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night. They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks. This was totally pointless.
We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him. Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer. Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy. Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer. They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol. Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer. Punk: Can you say the alphabet backwards? Austin: I can whip you backwards. Huge pop for that. No Nexus at ringside tonight.
Heres Austin for a major announcement. He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail. Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it. Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end. The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw. Austins watch says theres some time left so as of right now hes still the GM.
Next week Austin wont be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week its all about the power of the people. Theyll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewers Choice from when Bret was GM last year. The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off. DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER! He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving. Oh wait hes back to have some beers.
Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing. This one is Smackdown themed. The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Theres a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time. Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance. This is the first time weve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but its mainly booing. The dueling chants are going strong quickly. Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere. Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and its a stalemate. Cena tries the fishermans suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a break.
Back with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch. Oh and Cole is back on commentary. Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe. Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he cant make it last as Punk gets the rope. Leg lariat gets two for Punk.
Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner. Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence. He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor. Why dont more people get that? Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down. Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but heres Truth to annoy a fan. He offers a sip of water for the fans hat. The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.
Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash.
Results
Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldnt break the cross armbreaker
Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes Springboard Crossbody to Barrett
Sheamus b. Santino Marella Texas Cloverleaf
Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio
Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Air Bourne to Swagger
Roddy Piper b. The Miz Schoolboy
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina K2 to Mendes
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.77, the same as last week.
NXT
Date: June 14, 2011
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
Tonight is week fifteen, matching the longest season (season 1) of this show so far. With the recent arrest of Lucky Cannon, theres a chance hes gone tonight. That was definitely shocking news. Not that he got arrested. It was shocking that someone actually knew who he was. My money is on someone not named OBrian going home tonight because someone hates me. Anyway lets get to it.
The opening video is about Lucky Cannon and his interaction with Maryse over the course of the season. Also last week the $3,500 purse Cannon got her was destroyed thanks to that pesky leprechaun. If that was read out of context, it might make you think wrestling fans are really stupid for watching this product. By reading it in context, we know for fact that theyre stupid for watching this.
Maryse brings out the rookies. Oh and Striker is there with her. Cannon is here with a different coat. OBrian is here with no apparent reason. Young is here with the hair that will not die. ONeil is here with no Pro due to the attack by Truth last night. Wait Striker just said eliminations, as in PLURAL!!! Oh Im all aflutter now. The Redemption standings are as follows: ONeil has nearly double what the other three combined have. Maryse dashes my hopes by saying its just one elimination tonight.
The challenge is Talk the Talk and you get thirty seconds to say who should be eliminated. Cannon says ONeil for riding the coattails of his pro. He has no charisma and wont draw money. The show is all about him apparently. ONeil makes fun of Cannons robe and says hes smart. Cannon has won nothing apparently and is just running behind Maryse. Can you blame him though? Still a bad promo, but far better than anything ONeil has ever said.
OBrian says Young should be gone because hes had his opportunity already. Young blew his chance and has already main evented Summerslam. Thats a very good point and proof why Young either should be on the main roster or should be fired, depending on where you stand. Young says hes the best and that they should just give him the crowd now. YES! LISTEN TO THIS MAN! Young jumps OBrian and leaves. Think thats our main event? We do the judging and Young gets the loudest pop actually but they call it a tie with ONeil. ONeil does clearly get the biggest pop on the second try so I can live with that.
Darren Young vs. Yoshi Tatsu
This has the potential to not suck. Tatsu works on the arm a lot and thats about it for the start of this. Remember when Tatsu was this hot thing on ECW? How in the world has he fallen that far that fast? Were three and a half minutes into this now and theres been nothing but the arm work so far. Tatsu fires off some chops in the corner so Young punches him in the face.
Dropkick sends Young to the floor but he catches a DDT on the apron to Tatsu to take over. Here comes JTG as we take a break. Back with Young holding a front facelock and JTG is on commentary now. Regal gets on JTG about various things and it stuns me that people actually liked JTG at some point. Chinlock goes on by Young as this isnt incredibly interesting.
Regal and JTG do their usual schtick and its kind of funny as always. Young hits the chinlock some more to waste even more time. How is it possible that this show is already halfway over? Tatsu breaks the hold and takes Young down to start his comeback. Some kicks abound and up he goes. And speaking of go, there goes my feed. By the time its back Yoshi is hammering away with nothing but strikes. What a shock. Double knees in the corner and a spinwheel kick get two. Shining Wizard gets two. Yoshi goes up but Chavo distracts him, allowing Young to pull him off the top for the pin at approximately 13:50.
Maryse tells Lucky that her purse can be repaired. Lucky says hell take care of it and she says she gave the purse fixers Luckys credit card. Ok then.
Titus ONeil vs. Lucky Cannon
Pre-match, Cannon promises to beat up Horny when he gets back. Power vs. speed for lack of a better term here. Titus throws him around so Cannon runs. In old school heel fashion, Cannon gets a shot in to Titus as he comes back in and takes over. Apparently ONeil is distracted due to the lack of small green clothed men. I give up. Legdrop gets two for Cannon. Chinlock goes on and the fans arent all that thrilled. Lucky does the dog bark as this needs to end. Titus starts his comeback and hits a clothesline and theres the dog bark. Clash of the Titus ends this at 6:46.
In one of the only funny lines of the night, Todd says elimination is next. One of these four superstars dreams are crushed tonight and its all your fault WWE Universe!
Elimination time and Lucky is gone in 4th place. The reactions are great here, with Striker looking STUNNED. No real shock due to what happened this weekend (he was arrested for impersonating a police office of all things) but rather annoying because OBrian is STILL around. Hopefully this ends soon though. Lucky says he should be on Smackdown instead of on here and Titus leads us in the goodbye song. Maryse says she appreciates the stuff but the purse was a fake and slaps Lucky to end the show.
Results
Titus ONeil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Darren Young b. Yoshi Tatsu Slam off the top rope
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Clash of the Titus
Lucky Cannon was eliminated in 4th place
Wednesday
Orton has a legit concussion and is considered a game time decision for the PPV.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: June 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Were past Slammiversary now and on the way to Victory Road. Tonight we apparently also begin the Bound For Glory Series which is a competition between 12 people that I guess well hear the details of tonight. Also we have a new world champion in the form of Mr. Anderson who has a #1 contender in the form of Kurt Angle. Finally we also get to begin the build for the Victory Road PPV which is an X-Division themed show involving some people being brought in from the past and outside as well. Lets get to it.
We open with a highlight package of Slammiversary with post match soundbytes from a lot of the guys. Jarrett says its over with Angle when he says its over.
Anderson is here with the title and what looks like a black eye. Theres a bunch of stuff in the ring such as a basketball goal, a pinball machine, a stripper pole, some food and beer kegs. This is his championship reception. Anderson says he doesnt need anyone in the back or the fans. There are five people that are important to him: his niece, his wife, me, myself and I.
Heres Gunner to crash the party. He talks about how Anderson asked him for help last week and wants a title match as his reward. Anderson thanks him but says Gunners services are no longer required and he wishes him the best in all of his future endeavors. Gunner has a hick accent. Anderson says no because there are more deserving people than Gunner. Hes thirsty apparently and pours a beer for himself which of course goes into Gunners face. Gunner puts him through the table of food to end the segment.
The Bound For Glory series is for the title shot at BFG. Thats a nice prize.
Sting is here.
D-Von vs. Hernandez
This stems off a match on Xplosion where D-Von beat Anarquia and was beaten down post match, only for Pope to make the save. Hernandez jumps him to start thanks to Sarita distracting the referee. D-Von gets a clothesline for two and spears Hernandez coming out of the corner to keep his advantage.
D-Von has slimmed down a bit apparently. Pope saunters out and sits next to D-Vons family, allowing Hernandez to roll up D-Von for two. Thesz Press by D-Von and heres Mexican America to run in for the DQ at 1:52. Well this was pointless. Pope makes the save after D-Vons sons insist he do so. They have a weird staredown post match.
Anderson storms into Bischoffs office and says Eric needs to control Gunner. Eric says no because Anderson turned down Immortal awhile ago. Its Anderson vs. Gunner, presumably tonight. Ah yes its tonight.
Kurt is here with his kids.
After the break heres Kurt, minus his kids. Did he leave them with Abyss in daycare or something? Angle talks about how you dont just put a gold medal on the line on a whim. He says that in 1996 he trained very hard and managed to make the Olympic team and even won a gold medal to represent his country. Angle says he wants to do it again and is trying out for the 2012 Olympic wrestling team at the age of 43. Thats legit from what I understand.
Heres Jarrett who says its not over yet. He says this started with a handshake in Pittsburgh so lets end this tonight. Jeff says that the company cant hold both of them. He wants one more match and doesnt care if it means leaving the country or moving to Mexico. Well he is going to be at AAAs biggest show of the year this weekend so theres some truth to that.
Angle says Jeff should have more honor than this and needs to just leave. Jeff apparently says that there was nothing going on with him and Karen and he lied so Jeffs word means nothing. If Jeff can get a document together by the end of the show saying hell go to Mexico if he loses, Kurt will see him in the parking lot tonight. The FINAL BATTLE was four days ago right?
Well explain the BFG Series next.
Ok so heres the deal. There are 12 people in it and the winner is in the BFG Title Match. Points can be won in any kind of match on any TNA show, including house shows. Heres how the scoring works:
Submission: 10 points
Pin: 7 points
Count Out: 5 points
DQ Win: 3 points
Draw: 2 points
DQ Loss: -10 points
The top four compete at an unspecified date and the winner gets the title shot at the biggest show of the year. RVD vs. Samoa Joe is the first match tonight.
Eric Young is talking to Matt Morgan about how he needs to get ready for his TV Title match tonight. Morgan says he needs to get ready for the BFG Series. If any match counts for that, why not beat Young at the same time? Anyway, Young says it has to be a TV star he faces for the TV Title. Morgan says an executive producer here used to be on a sitcom so go find him.
Apparently theres going to be a 12 man tournament with the winner getting a contract at the PPV.
Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash vs. Jimmy Rave
This is part of the aforementioned tournament apparently. Rave has the way old Christian style see through shirt. Aries wants a test of strength with either guy. Next week there are going to be three new X guys apparently. Aries is sent to the floor and Rave takes over on Kash. Aries comes back in and that goes nowhere as Kash pulls him to the floor. Kash tries a springboard but jumps into a spear by Rave for two. Aries cleans house and sends them both to the floor to set up a suicide dive to take them both out.
BIG Austin Aries chant starts up as its pretty clear that hes the biggest deal here. Kash takes both guys out with a huge spinning dive. Back in the ring Kash and Aries slug it out with Kash getting two. Aries breaks up a Rave cover and plants him with a brainbuster to end this at 4:25.
Knockout Tag Titles: Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher vs. Sarita/Rosita
Sarita and Velvet start us off. Mexican America has been sent to the back apparently. Velvet sends her flying and its off to Rosita and Tessmacher. The challengers dominate for awhile so its off to Sarita again. This is your standard Knockouts match, in that theyre nice to look at but at the same time its a lot of yelling and not much on the wrestling. Tessmacher looks incredible in those little shorts but she cant wrestle that well at all. Everything breaks down but as the challengers want a double suplex, heres ODB to distract Velvet. The champs double team Tessmacher and a flip splash by Rosita gets the pin at 3:52.
Post match ODB and Velvet yell at each other a lot and heres Jackie freaking Moore for the double beatdown on Velvet. Oh joy. The girls beat up security and Velvet for a long while until they get split up.
Jarrett signs the contract with Hogan for later and Hogan calls him the King of Kings. Jeff leaves and Sting pops up. On the 14th of July its the rematch, the show after Destination X. Sting believes him and Hogan says theres a history between them that no one knows about. Sting asks if theres a shred of the old Hogan left. Sting rants about Hogans legacy in WCW and the catchphrases and Hogans legacy that hes leaving for Brooke and Nick (Hulks kids) which sets Hogan off.
Hogan throws him out and Sting freaks out, saying hes not ready to leave. He goes insane, yelling at Terry, asking if Terry wants to wear a mask. Sting gets the paint from last week and paints on Hulks face while pushing him into the corner. Sting shouts about making the choice and we finally see Hogan with paint all over his face. WEIRD segment to say the least.
Jackie and ODB rant about cleaning up the division and Velvet jumps ODB. This results in the heels yelling a lot and sounding very annoying.
Austin Aries says hes going to make the X-Division matter again. Eric Young pops up and tries to start a TV Title match with the interviewer. He superkicks him and gets a pin with Aries counting. Oh it was Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years.
Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe
This is billed as a dream match. Ok then. The bell is after a break. Joe takes over to start but RVD reverses into a body press for two and hits the floor. Joe catches a slingshot dives into a belly to belly for two in a solid looking spot. RVD avoids a shot in the corner and hits a spinwheel kick to the face of Joe in the corner. Monkey flip out of the corner doesnt work though as Rob lands on the apron, only to get clotheslined across the top to the floor. Suicide elbow takes RVD out again and Joe is in full control.
They change some reversals in the ring and Joe crushes Rob into the corner. Joes skin is blood red for some reason. Kick to the back of the head gets two for the Samoan. Joe fires some LOUD chops but runs into a boot in the corner. Rob tries a spinning cross body but Joe goes old school and just moves out of the way of it, letting Rob crash. I love it when he does that.
Knee drop gets two and we hit a modified chinlock. RVD fights out of it and gets a Stunner to set up a superkick. Rolling Thunder gets two. Joe counters a leapfrog of all things but walks into the spin kick of Van Dams. Release Rock Bottom out of the corner takes Rob down again and Joe loads up the Musclebuster. Rob blocks it so Joe tries a superplex instead. Van Dam breaks it up and the Five Star ends this at 9:10 to give Rob seven points.
Gunner is getting medical attention from earlier and says he doesnt like anyone.
Gunner vs. Mr. Anderson
Gunner has Bischoff with him but Bischoff heads to the back rather quickly. Non-title here. Interesting note about Anderson here as his first title match is on July 14, meaning there wont be a world title match at Destination X. After a brief run around outside Anderson gets that neckbreaker of his for two. Off to the chinlock about 90 seconds in with the champion in control. Anderson has a bit of a gut on him.
More shots to the back of the head and then Anderson just hammers away. He slams Gunner but misses a Swanton Bomb. Gunner fights back and gets a belly to back suplex for two. Theres a big bandage on Gunners nose so I guess he got cut from the cup earlier. Rolling firemans carry slam gets two for Anderson so he hammers away a bit more. And now Anderson calls down the mic. He announces that hes still world champion and walks into the F5 for the pin at 8:45.
Steiner vs. Ray next week in a BFG match. Steiner rants about not knowing how to do anything other than beat people up. He has no sugar for Ray and cant play the guitar either. This is one of those so insane its funny promos from Steiner.
Ray says not to crack jokes. This match has the potential to be either the biggest trainwreck of all time or a pretty awesome brawl.
Time for the parking lot brawl with the circle of cars and wrestlers out there. Do you win by pin I guess? Angle takes him down with relative ease and hammers him. This is shot like a fight instead of a match and Angle grabs an armbreaker. Jeff fights out of it and its almost all Kurt so far. Jeff sends him into a car and Ray yells him on.
Jeff says hell never leave TNA (again) and tells Kurt to go to train for the Olympics before hitting the Stroke on the concrete. Angle gets up as Jeff leaves and they go at it some more. Angle Slam onto a car and Angle chokes him with his shirt. Say adios Jarrett! Jeff is done and Angle leaves. Ray says Jeff enver gave up. Jarrett wakes up and says adios to end the show.
Results
D-Von b. Hernandez via DQ when Mexican America interfered
Austin Aries b. Jimmy Rave and Kid Kash Brainbuster to Rave
Rosita/Sarita b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher Flip Splash to Tessmacher
Rob Van Dam b. Samoa Joe Five Star Frog Splash
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson F5
Jacob Novak was released. This is proof there is a higher power out there. Michael Tarver and three other developmental guys are gone too.
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 13, 2011
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Long Island, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole
This is a three hour show and billed as WWE All-Stars. The guest GM for the night is Steve Austin so expect some extra fans to be brought in because of him. Its also the final show before Capitol Punishment so the final push towards that should happen tonight. Cena and Truth will probably interact a good deal tonight which should be entertaining. Lets get to it.
Cena vs. Punk in the main event. Oh joy. The graphics are from the All-Stars game.
Heres Miz to open the show looking awesome as usual. Miz says hes the all time WWE All-Star because he won in the main event on the flagship show last week. Then again you would have to be a moron to know that. You know, like Alex Riley. The crowd does the WHAT thing and Miz makes fun of them for it, saying it was cool in 2001. No it wasnt but well let that slide.
Miz calls out Austin and wants to know why every time he looks up theres Austin or Rock or someone from the Attitude Era trying to steal his spotlight. Austin owes him an apology apparently and here he is. Austin gets in his face about his suit and his hair and various other things. The night the Tough Enough cast debuted Miz came out here and ran his mouth, talking all kinds of trash.
Austin actually gives him some credit for being a silver tongued devil. Miz tries to say something but Austin cuts him off, saying stop talking while Austin has something to say. Austin talks about Alex Riley and says that hes got something, saying that he might be a bigger star than Miz someday. Miz wants to know if he can talk yet and Austin says no. Austin asks if Miz is going to take Riley out on Sunday and then grabs him by the tie, saying that Miz and Riley need counseling. Austin is going to provide it tonight with one Rowdy Roddy Piper tonight in this very ring.
Austin turns away slightly and says if Miz knows whats good for him hell get out of here right now. Miz backs off slowly and Austin slowly turns around on him, saying that its not Mizs time to be a hero. Miz finally leaves to solid heat. Heres Alberto in wrestling gear to cut off Austin again. Del Rio does his usual intro and says its time for Austin to pass the torch to Del Rio.
He talks about destiny of course and Austin isnt all that impressed. He says hes not much of a fortune teller but says that he sees bad things for Del Rio in the future. Ever since Del Rio injured Big Show with his car, Del Rio has had everyone ready to bash Del Rios skull in, so tonight the opening match is Del Rio vs. Kane.
Kane vs. Alberto Del Rio
The bell is after the break. Kane takes over to start and gets his low dropkick for two. Del Rio goes straight for the arm of course, hitting the Codebreaker to the arm. Kane fights out of an arm hold and goes up for the clothesline but crash lands. Del Rio gets the cross armbreaker but cant hook it all the way and Kane gets to the rope. Del Rio holds onto it for the five count and the DQ at 2:50. Not much at all here.
Alberto still wont let go and heres Big Show, SPRINTING to the ring to take out Alberto. Del Rio runs so Show kills Ricardo. Kane has to choke Big Show to get him to let go. Austin pops up to make Big Show vs. Del Rio at the PPV.
Ricardo was taken away on a stretcher during the break.
Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase vs. Sin Cara/Ezekiel Jackson/Daniel Bryan
They to the light again as Cara and Rhodes start. Off to Bryan quickly though who hammers on Rhodes. The former Legacy takes Bryan down and here comes Barrett for a battle of Nexus. Cole keeps ignoring Lawlers jokes which might be in the best interest for all involved. Barrett gets a crescent kick to the ribs and a pumphandle slam for two on Bryan. Barrett drills Cara but Bryant gets the hot tag to run through Barrett.
Here come the slams which are starting to grow on me. Theyre so basic but they look good and convincing. Torture Rack goes on but Legacy comes in for the double team save. Jackson tosses them over the top and tosses Bryan on top of them. Jackson takes Barrett down again and heres Cara. Slingshot crossbody ends this at 3:45. Cara might have been legal for 10 seconds total.
Back and heres Horny firing t-shirts to the crowd using a cannon. And heres R-Truth to end that. Theyre all little Jimmy and Jennys apparently. He wants to try but hes going to become the new champion on Sunday. Horny shoots him with a shirt and that doesnt work. Truth grabs him and .hugs him. Ok then. Truth shakes his hand and KICKS HIM IN THE FACE. Awesome! Truth does his psycho talking to Horny and heres Austin on the big screen. Truth has a match later with John Morrison! Hes back! Truth stomps on Horny again and leaves. Lawler comes in to check on the leprechaun.
Santino Marella vs. Sheamus
The bell rings very quickly with no entrance for either guy. Santino fires some kicks off to get Sheamus into the corner. Not that any of them hit but hes trying at least. Sheamus takes his head off with a clothesline and hammers away, getting another clothesline for two. Cravate goes on for a bit and then Sheamus rams him into the buckle.
Santino Italians Up and that gets him nowhere, other than in the path of another clothesline. High Cross doesnt work and he loads up the Cobra. Brogue Kick misses and Santino gets the Cobra! Naturally it gets like one and the Brogue Kick hits before Sheamus puts on a Texas Cloverleaf for the submission at 2:50. Not much, but cool to see a new finisher.
Orton is up next.
We get the same video from Smackdown of Christian drilling Orton with the title.
Heres Orton to a fairly tame reaction. And Ortons mic doesnt work. He wants Christian here right now and that he only wants to talk. He wont punt him or try an RKO. All he wants to do is talk. Orton says dont make him come back there. He might go to the papers otherwise.
Christian pops up on the screen and says hes earned his spot, unlike Orton who has had everything thrown on him. He polls the fans, asking if they want him to come out here. The fans cheer, so of course hes not coming. Orton says Edge isnt here which is a shame. Edge has been carrying Christian for 17 years so he could carry him to the ring.
That seems to be enough and here comes Christian in a new shirt. Here he is in the arena but he stops on the ramp. Orton goes after him but Christian makes the save. Theres an E-Mail which says Orton has a concussion apparently. He wont wrestle tonight so the GM says go home. If Orton doesnt chill hes stripped of the title. Randy tries one more charge at Christian but leaves. It wasnt a big charge so its ok I guess. Austin pops up on the screen and makes Christian vs. Rey Mysterio next.
Christian vs. Rey Mysterio
Booker jumps in on commentary here. Mysterio vs. Punk on Sunday. Havent we seen that a lot recently? I guess thats the rubber match in this mini-series so it makes sense. Rey speeds things up to start and sends Christian down with a headscissors. And never mind as Rey takes him down with a clothesline to take over. Off to the chinlock which doesnt last long. Christian sends Rey over the top and to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Christian holding a chinlock as Rey tries to fight his way up. Christian goes into the corner and steps on Rey .and its a DQ? The bell rang at 5:40 but seriously, what the heck was that? Id bet on a legit accident because that made zero sense at all. Christian goes after Rey post match but Rey knocks him off the top and sets for a splash, but here comes Punk. Rey dives on him instead and heres Nexus. Rey avoids the Killswitch and knocks Christian down. 619 to Christian is blocked by Ryan who kills him by ramming him into the post and hitting a backbreaker. Killswitch leaves Rey laying.
Austin is on the phone when Vickie and Dolph come up. She shouts EXCUSE ME at him and asks for a US Title shot for Dolph on Sunday. Austin says ok on one condition: he drops Vickie as his associate. Dolph doesnt want to do it but Austin goes into a speech about DiBiase being his manager and Dolph reluctantly drops him. Austin says hes just having fun with them and leaves while Vickie makes funny noises. So are they split up or not?
R-Truth vs. John Morrison
We get a quick recap of Morrison being injured by Truth. And theres no Morrison. The music plays again and theres no Morrison. Truth says get out here and says Morrison need to unscare himself. Truth says hell bring the fight to Morrison and goes into the back. To the back we go and someone is out cold. SHAZAM! Its Morrison, still down and holding his neck. Maybe hes not back yet. Truth says all the Little Jimmys came here to see a great match. Truth leaves and then comes back, crushing Morrison with an anvil case. Truth has the funniest psycho face youll ever see as we go to break.
Video on Dolph Ziggler before his match.
Dolph Ziggler/Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston
No pyro for Swaggers pushups. Vickie is with Dolph here so I guess theyre still together. Dolph and Kofi start us off. Kofi jumps around a lot and hits a jumping back elbow yet somehow its Dolph getting the cover. Odd indeed. Off to Swagger who gets a belly to belly for two. Vader Bomb misses though and its off to Bourne.
Bourne gets some sweet jumping shots and a rollup on Swagger gets two but theres the ankle lock. Evan rolls through it, only for Dolph to grab his foot. Bourne kicks him in the head while Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise to Swagger. Picture perfect Air Bourne ends this at 2:55. Just a quick match and not enough to grade but this was fine.
Back and its time for Pipers Pit. Yep, Piper is drunk. Piper talks about Mania 2 where he dropped Mr. T in this ring. Heres Miz to say really. Miz says hes the next Piper, Piper says theres never going to be another Roddy Piper. Piper calls Miz a Roddy Piper wannabe which Miz denies, saying at least hes been WWE Champion. He also actually won in the main event of Wrestlemania.
Miz says he was on Real World and makes fun of They Live. Piper says he never saw Real World because he was busy living in the Real World. Piper says lets talk about the future, like this Sunday. Heres Riley, who says that Miz never was his friend. Piper says that gave him self respect. Miz points out the hypocrisy of Piper getting annoyed with someone for that when he mistreated Bob Orton for all those years.
Gorilla Monsoon, King Kong Bundy, Mean Gene are all in the bottom of a well so who do you save first? Miz has no idea what Piper is talking about. Just when you think you got all the answers, I CHANGE THE QUESTIONS! That was great. Piper says Riley beating him will be AWESOME. Riley says Piper can beat Miz right now. Miz says hell put up $1000 that he can beat Piper right now. Piper gets all nervous due to the age and says how about $5000? Austin pops up and says do it. Both guys are putting up five grand and Alex Riley is guest referee. Hilarious as well as good segment here.
Roddy Piper vs. The Miz
Piper is in tights and a t-shirt while Miz is in street clothes. Miz hammers away and Piper gets a sleeper. Riley pulls him off and here they go. Piper grabs a schoolboy for the pin at 1:06.
Some Divas are going to be on the Price is Right.
Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina vs. Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn
If this goes past two minutes Ill be stunned. Kelly and Brie start but its off to Melina or Rosa and theres the big brawl almost immediately. Kelly hits the K2 on Rosa and were done at 1:25. Three out of the fourteen were actually legal.
Post match Eve gets on the mic and says the Tony Awards (Broadway) were in New York last night. They get in a line and to the Rockette kicks. This was totally pointless.
We recap the ending to Tough Enough last week where Vince Slapped Andy and Austin stunned him. Andy is in the back with Austin and they share a beer. Punk comes in and makes fun of Andy. Austin asks Andy to leave and offers Punk a beer. They do the WHAT sequence over various types of alcohol. Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer. Punk: Can you say the alphabet backwards? Austin: I can whip you backwards. Huge pop for that. No Nexus at ringside tonight.
Heres Austin for a major announcement. He thanks the crowd but is cut off by an E-Mail. Cole sounds scared to death to have to read it. Austin is sick of the GM, who says that all good things must come to an end. The anonymous GM will be back next week on Raw. Austins watch says theres some time left so as of right now hes still the GM.
Next week Austin wont be the GM but next week there will be another three hour Raw and next week its all about the power of the people. Theyll make all the matches and stipulations, I guess like Viewers Choice from when Bret was GM last year. The GM keeps sending E-Mails and Austin gets ticked off so he chases Cole off. DOWN GOES THE COMPUTER! He pours beer on it and runs over it with the ATV before leaving. Oh wait hes back to have some beers.
Capitol Punishment ad with the press conference thing. This one is Smackdown themed. The jokes are kind of funny but at the same time the idea to get them here is really old.
CM Punk vs. John Cena
Theres a five minute overrun tonight apparently so this has a good deal of time. Punk sits down in the middle of the ring after his entrance. This is the first time weve seen Cena all night and he gets a solid reaction but its mainly booing. The dueling chants are going strong quickly. Punk goes behind Cena and that gets him nowhere. Punk tries the GTS and Cena tries the AA but neither work and its a stalemate. Cena tries the fishermans suplex and gets countered into being draped over the ropes as we take a break.
Back with Cena hammering away but walking into an old school abdominal stretch. Oh and Cole is back on commentary. Punk hits a huge dive to the floor and then with a Savage point to the roof he hits something that kind of almost resembled a double axe. Off to a bodyscissors which Cena reverses into the STF but he cant make it last as Punk gets the rope. Leg lariat gets two for Punk.
Punk keeps his advantage, hitting the clothesline in the corner. Cena reverses the bulldog though and sets the ending sequence. He tries the shoulder block and Punk uses one of his Zen counters that he learned in his tours of Japan by calling on his ancient martial arts training: he ducks, sending Cena flying to the floor. Why dont more people get that? Cena does the same to the springboard clothesline and both guys are down. Cena starts his comeback and hits the Protoplex but heres Truth to annoy a fan. He offers a sip of water for the fans hat. The distraction lets Punk hit the GTS for the pin at 14:00.
Truth hits Cena with the bottle of water post match and takes the belt with him after talking some trash.
Results
Kane b. Alberto Del Rio via DQ when Del Rio wouldnt break the cross armbreaker
Ezekiel Jackson/Sin Cara/Daniel Bryan b. Wade Barrett/Ted DiBiase/Cody Rhodes Springboard Crossbody to Barrett
Sheamus b. Santino Marella Texas Cloverleaf
Rey Mysterio b. Christian via DQ when Christian would not stop choking Mysterio
Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston b. Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler Air Bourne to Swagger
Roddy Piper b. The Miz Schoolboy
Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Gail Kim/Natalya/Beth Phoenix/AJ/Kaitlyn b. Tamina/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Maryse/Bella Twins/Melina K2 to Mendes
CM Punk b. John Cena GTS
Tuesday
Smackdown got a 1.77, the same as last week.
NXT
Date: June 14, 2011
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal
Tonight is week fifteen, matching the longest season (season 1) of this show so far. With the recent arrest of Lucky Cannon, theres a chance hes gone tonight. That was definitely shocking news. Not that he got arrested. It was shocking that someone actually knew who he was. My money is on someone not named OBrian going home tonight because someone hates me. Anyway lets get to it.
The opening video is about Lucky Cannon and his interaction with Maryse over the course of the season. Also last week the $3,500 purse Cannon got her was destroyed thanks to that pesky leprechaun. If that was read out of context, it might make you think wrestling fans are really stupid for watching this product. By reading it in context, we know for fact that theyre stupid for watching this.
Maryse brings out the rookies. Oh and Striker is there with her. Cannon is here with a different coat. OBrian is here with no apparent reason. Young is here with the hair that will not die. ONeil is here with no Pro due to the attack by Truth last night. Wait Striker just said eliminations, as in PLURAL!!! Oh Im all aflutter now. The Redemption standings are as follows: ONeil has nearly double what the other three combined have. Maryse dashes my hopes by saying its just one elimination tonight.
The challenge is Talk the Talk and you get thirty seconds to say who should be eliminated. Cannon says ONeil for riding the coattails of his pro. He has no charisma and wont draw money. The show is all about him apparently. ONeil makes fun of Cannons robe and says hes smart. Cannon has won nothing apparently and is just running behind Maryse. Can you blame him though? Still a bad promo, but far better than anything ONeil has ever said.
OBrian says Young should be gone because hes had his opportunity already. Young blew his chance and has already main evented Summerslam. Thats a very good point and proof why Young either should be on the main roster or should be fired, depending on where you stand. Young says hes the best and that they should just give him the crowd now. YES! LISTEN TO THIS MAN! Young jumps OBrian and leaves. Think thats our main event? We do the judging and Young gets the loudest pop actually but they call it a tie with ONeil. ONeil does clearly get the biggest pop on the second try so I can live with that.
Darren Young vs. Yoshi Tatsu
This has the potential to not suck. Tatsu works on the arm a lot and thats about it for the start of this. Remember when Tatsu was this hot thing on ECW? How in the world has he fallen that far that fast? Were three and a half minutes into this now and theres been nothing but the arm work so far. Tatsu fires off some chops in the corner so Young punches him in the face.
Dropkick sends Young to the floor but he catches a DDT on the apron to Tatsu to take over. Here comes JTG as we take a break. Back with Young holding a front facelock and JTG is on commentary now. Regal gets on JTG about various things and it stuns me that people actually liked JTG at some point. Chinlock goes on by Young as this isnt incredibly interesting.
Regal and JTG do their usual schtick and its kind of funny as always. Young hits the chinlock some more to waste even more time. How is it possible that this show is already halfway over? Tatsu breaks the hold and takes Young down to start his comeback. Some kicks abound and up he goes. And speaking of go, there goes my feed. By the time its back Yoshi is hammering away with nothing but strikes. What a shock. Double knees in the corner and a spinwheel kick get two. Shining Wizard gets two. Yoshi goes up but Chavo distracts him, allowing Young to pull him off the top for the pin at approximately 13:50.
Maryse tells Lucky that her purse can be repaired. Lucky says hell take care of it and she says she gave the purse fixers Luckys credit card. Ok then.
Titus ONeil vs. Lucky Cannon
Pre-match, Cannon promises to beat up Horny when he gets back. Power vs. speed for lack of a better term here. Titus throws him around so Cannon runs. In old school heel fashion, Cannon gets a shot in to Titus as he comes back in and takes over. Apparently ONeil is distracted due to the lack of small green clothed men. I give up. Legdrop gets two for Cannon. Chinlock goes on and the fans arent all that thrilled. Lucky does the dog bark as this needs to end. Titus starts his comeback and hits a clothesline and theres the dog bark. Clash of the Titus ends this at 6:46.
In one of the only funny lines of the night, Todd says elimination is next. One of these four superstars dreams are crushed tonight and its all your fault WWE Universe!
Elimination time and Lucky is gone in 4th place. The reactions are great here, with Striker looking STUNNED. No real shock due to what happened this weekend (he was arrested for impersonating a police office of all things) but rather annoying because OBrian is STILL around. Hopefully this ends soon though. Lucky says he should be on Smackdown instead of on here and Titus leads us in the goodbye song. Maryse says she appreciates the stuff but the purse was a fake and slaps Lucky to end the show.
Results
Titus ONeil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Darren Young b. Yoshi Tatsu Slam off the top rope
Titus ONeil b. Lucky Cannon Clash of the Titus
Lucky Cannon was eliminated in 4th place
Wednesday
Orton has a legit concussion and is considered a game time decision for the PPV.
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: June 16, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Were past Slammiversary now and on the way to Victory Road. Tonight we apparently also begin the Bound For Glory Series which is a competition between 12 people that I guess well hear the details of tonight. Also we have a new world champion in the form of Mr. Anderson who has a #1 contender in the form of Kurt Angle. Finally we also get to begin the build for the Victory Road PPV which is an X-Division themed show involving some people being brought in from the past and outside as well. Lets get to it.
We open with a highlight package of Slammiversary with post match soundbytes from a lot of the guys. Jarrett says its over with Angle when he says its over.
Anderson is here with the title and what looks like a black eye. Theres a bunch of stuff in the ring such as a basketball goal, a pinball machine, a stripper pole, some food and beer kegs. This is his championship reception. Anderson says he doesnt need anyone in the back or the fans. There are five people that are important to him: his niece, his wife, me, myself and I.
Heres Gunner to crash the party. He talks about how Anderson asked him for help last week and wants a title match as his reward. Anderson thanks him but says Gunners services are no longer required and he wishes him the best in all of his future endeavors. Gunner has a hick accent. Anderson says no because there are more deserving people than Gunner. Hes thirsty apparently and pours a beer for himself which of course goes into Gunners face. Gunner puts him through the table of food to end the segment.
The Bound For Glory series is for the title shot at BFG. Thats a nice prize.
Sting is here.
D-Von vs. Hernandez
This stems off a match on Xplosion where D-Von beat Anarquia and was beaten down post match, only for Pope to make the save. Hernandez jumps him to start thanks to Sarita distracting the referee. D-Von gets a clothesline for two and spears Hernandez coming out of the corner to keep his advantage.
D-Von has slimmed down a bit apparently. Pope saunters out and sits next to D-Vons family, allowing Hernandez to roll up D-Von for two. Thesz Press by D-Von and heres Mexican America to run in for the DQ at 1:52. Well this was pointless. Pope makes the save after D-Vons sons insist he do so. They have a weird staredown post match.
Anderson storms into Bischoffs office and says Eric needs to control Gunner. Eric says no because Anderson turned down Immortal awhile ago. Its Anderson vs. Gunner, presumably tonight. Ah yes its tonight.
Kurt is here with his kids.
After the break heres Kurt, minus his kids. Did he leave them with Abyss in daycare or something? Angle talks about how you dont just put a gold medal on the line on a whim. He says that in 1996 he trained very hard and managed to make the Olympic team and even won a gold medal to represent his country. Angle says he wants to do it again and is trying out for the 2012 Olympic wrestling team at the age of 43. Thats legit from what I understand.
Heres Jarrett who says its not over yet. He says this started with a handshake in Pittsburgh so lets end this tonight. Jeff says that the company cant hold both of them. He wants one more match and doesnt care if it means leaving the country or moving to Mexico. Well he is going to be at AAAs biggest show of the year this weekend so theres some truth to that.
Angle says Jeff should have more honor than this and needs to just leave. Jeff apparently says that there was nothing going on with him and Karen and he lied so Jeffs word means nothing. If Jeff can get a document together by the end of the show saying hell go to Mexico if he loses, Kurt will see him in the parking lot tonight. The FINAL BATTLE was four days ago right?
Well explain the BFG Series next.
Ok so heres the deal. There are 12 people in it and the winner is in the BFG Title Match. Points can be won in any kind of match on any TNA show, including house shows. Heres how the scoring works:
Submission: 10 points
Pin: 7 points
Count Out: 5 points
DQ Win: 3 points
Draw: 2 points
DQ Loss: -10 points
The top four compete at an unspecified date and the winner gets the title shot at the biggest show of the year. RVD vs. Samoa Joe is the first match tonight.
Eric Young is talking to Matt Morgan about how he needs to get ready for his TV Title match tonight. Morgan says he needs to get ready for the BFG Series. If any match counts for that, why not beat Young at the same time? Anyway, Young says it has to be a TV star he faces for the TV Title. Morgan says an executive producer here used to be on a sitcom so go find him.
Apparently theres going to be a 12 man tournament with the winner getting a contract at the PPV.
Austin Aries vs. Kid Kash vs. Jimmy Rave
This is part of the aforementioned tournament apparently. Rave has the way old Christian style see through shirt. Aries wants a test of strength with either guy. Next week there are going to be three new X guys apparently. Aries is sent to the floor and Rave takes over on Kash. Aries comes back in and that goes nowhere as Kash pulls him to the floor. Kash tries a springboard but jumps into a spear by Rave for two. Aries cleans house and sends them both to the floor to set up a suicide dive to take them both out.
BIG Austin Aries chant starts up as its pretty clear that hes the biggest deal here. Kash takes both guys out with a huge spinning dive. Back in the ring Kash and Aries slug it out with Kash getting two. Aries breaks up a Rave cover and plants him with a brainbuster to end this at 4:25.
Knockout Tag Titles: Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher vs. Sarita/Rosita
Sarita and Velvet start us off. Mexican America has been sent to the back apparently. Velvet sends her flying and its off to Rosita and Tessmacher. The challengers dominate for awhile so its off to Sarita again. This is your standard Knockouts match, in that theyre nice to look at but at the same time its a lot of yelling and not much on the wrestling. Tessmacher looks incredible in those little shorts but she cant wrestle that well at all. Everything breaks down but as the challengers want a double suplex, heres ODB to distract Velvet. The champs double team Tessmacher and a flip splash by Rosita gets the pin at 3:52.
Post match ODB and Velvet yell at each other a lot and heres Jackie freaking Moore for the double beatdown on Velvet. Oh joy. The girls beat up security and Velvet for a long while until they get split up.
Jarrett signs the contract with Hogan for later and Hogan calls him the King of Kings. Jeff leaves and Sting pops up. On the 14th of July its the rematch, the show after Destination X. Sting believes him and Hogan says theres a history between them that no one knows about. Sting asks if theres a shred of the old Hogan left. Sting rants about Hogans legacy in WCW and the catchphrases and Hogans legacy that hes leaving for Brooke and Nick (Hulks kids) which sets Hogan off.
Hogan throws him out and Sting freaks out, saying hes not ready to leave. He goes insane, yelling at Terry, asking if Terry wants to wear a mask. Sting gets the paint from last week and paints on Hulks face while pushing him into the corner. Sting shouts about making the choice and we finally see Hogan with paint all over his face. WEIRD segment to say the least.
Jackie and ODB rant about cleaning up the division and Velvet jumps ODB. This results in the heels yelling a lot and sounding very annoying.
Austin Aries says hes going to make the X-Division matter again. Eric Young pops up and tries to start a TV Title match with the interviewer. He superkicks him and gets a pin with Aries counting. Oh it was Jason Hervey from the Wonder Years.
Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. Samoa Joe
This is billed as a dream match. Ok then. The bell is after a break. Joe takes over to start but RVD reverses into a body press for two and hits the floor. Joe catches a slingshot dives into a belly to belly for two in a solid looking spot. RVD avoids a shot in the corner and hits a spinwheel kick to the face of Joe in the corner. Monkey flip out of the corner doesnt work though as Rob lands on the apron, only to get clotheslined across the top to the floor. Suicide elbow takes RVD out again and Joe is in full control.
They change some reversals in the ring and Joe crushes Rob into the corner. Joes skin is blood red for some reason. Kick to the back of the head gets two for the Samoan. Joe fires some LOUD chops but runs into a boot in the corner. Rob tries a spinning cross body but Joe goes old school and just moves out of the way of it, letting Rob crash. I love it when he does that.
Knee drop gets two and we hit a modified chinlock. RVD fights out of it and gets a Stunner to set up a superkick. Rolling Thunder gets two. Joe counters a leapfrog of all things but walks into the spin kick of Van Dams. Release Rock Bottom out of the corner takes Rob down again and Joe loads up the Musclebuster. Rob blocks it so Joe tries a superplex instead. Van Dam breaks it up and the Five Star ends this at 9:10 to give Rob seven points.
Gunner is getting medical attention from earlier and says he doesnt like anyone.
Gunner vs. Mr. Anderson
Gunner has Bischoff with him but Bischoff heads to the back rather quickly. Non-title here. Interesting note about Anderson here as his first title match is on July 14, meaning there wont be a world title match at Destination X. After a brief run around outside Anderson gets that neckbreaker of his for two. Off to the chinlock about 90 seconds in with the champion in control. Anderson has a bit of a gut on him.
More shots to the back of the head and then Anderson just hammers away. He slams Gunner but misses a Swanton Bomb. Gunner fights back and gets a belly to back suplex for two. Theres a big bandage on Gunners nose so I guess he got cut from the cup earlier. Rolling firemans carry slam gets two for Anderson so he hammers away a bit more. And now Anderson calls down the mic. He announces that hes still world champion and walks into the F5 for the pin at 8:45.
Steiner vs. Ray next week in a BFG match. Steiner rants about not knowing how to do anything other than beat people up. He has no sugar for Ray and cant play the guitar either. This is one of those so insane its funny promos from Steiner.
Ray says not to crack jokes. This match has the potential to be either the biggest trainwreck of all time or a pretty awesome brawl.
Time for the parking lot brawl with the circle of cars and wrestlers out there. Do you win by pin I guess? Angle takes him down with relative ease and hammers him. This is shot like a fight instead of a match and Angle grabs an armbreaker. Jeff fights out of it and its almost all Kurt so far. Jeff sends him into a car and Ray yells him on.
Jeff says hell never leave TNA (again) and tells Kurt to go to train for the Olympics before hitting the Stroke on the concrete. Angle gets up as Jeff leaves and they go at it some more. Angle Slam onto a car and Angle chokes him with his shirt. Say adios Jarrett! Jeff is done and Angle leaves. Ray says Jeff enver gave up. Jarrett wakes up and says adios to end the show.
Results
D-Von b. Hernandez via DQ when Mexican America interfered
Austin Aries b. Jimmy Rave and Kid Kash Brainbuster to Rave
Rosita/Sarita b. Velvet Sky/Miss Tessmacher Flip Splash to Tessmacher
Rob Van Dam b. Samoa Joe Five Star Frog Splash
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson F5