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Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Braun Strowman will be out up to six months after elbow and shoulder surgery.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
This could be an interesting show as the roster is freshly back from Europe, meaning there could be some severe jet lag issues. The other major issue at the moment is Braun Strowman, whose recent surgery will put him out until November instead of early July as originally thought. Tonight we might find out who is going to take his place. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns beating down Braun Strowman and putting him on the shelf for a long time.
Opening sequence.
Here's Kurt Angle to open the show. He talks about Strowman's injury and says we need a new name at the top of the card to challenge Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title. Therefore, we're going to have an extreme five way at Extreme Rules for the #1 contendership with Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns facing off for the shot.
This brings out Reigns to say he's the Big Dog, Balor to say he never lost the Universal Title and that he beat Reigns, Joe to say he's shown his worth through his actions, Wyatt to say everyone will fall, cower and run and Rollins to say he wants to fight. Joe obliges him and it's a huge brawl with Balor hitting a big flip dive and leaving everyone laying. This was EXACTLY what they needed to do as they've set up the match with a clear goal and dealt with the next few months without missing a beat. That's as good as it could have been done.
Post break Rollins, Reigns and Balor are all fired up so Angle makes some matches for later tonight: Rollins vs. Wyatt and Reigns vs. Balor.
Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is in a shirt for some reason and gets stomped down in the corner. Jeff's dive over the top is easily caught though and Sheamus sends him into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a hard knee to the jaw for two but Jeff dropkicks him out of the air and gets two off a Twisting Stunner. Sheamus kicks Matt off the apron but walks into the Twist of Fate, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 8:36.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox
Banks beat her last week but Fox had her shoulder up at two. Fox kicks her in the face for two to start and hits that great looking northern lights suplex for two. Sasha can't get the Bank Statement and seems to hurt her leg on the way down. Back in and Fox hits the ax kick for the completely clean pin at 3:02.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Ambrose is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Miz bails to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting his running clothesline in the corner, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with a suicide dive, followed by a bulldog for two back inside. Miz misses a running charge in the corner, followed by the top rope standing elbow to give Dean two more.
The rebound lariat is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the very close near fall, giving us a shocked look from Miz. Dean sends him outside again so Miz hides behind Maryse, only to have Dean dive anyway. Maryse offers a distraction but the low blow is blocked, allowing Dean to kick Miz low for the DQ at 12:02. Dean looks stunned at the DQ for some reason.
Balor says Roman's yard is in his universe.
Here's Alexa Bliss for a chat. Bliss rips on Newark a bit before talking about what it's like to be a winner. When you're smarter than everyone else and more dominant than everyone else, winning just comes easily. If you're a failure, say what. Crowd: WHAT! Bliss: My point exactly. If she had entered Miss USA last night, she would have walked off with the crown. Bliss: So Miss USA: you're welcome.
Cue Bayley to interrupt though she knows Bliss doesn't care what she says. Bayley is invoking her rematch clause at Extreme Rules but Bliss needs to make it clear that it won't be extreme pogo sticking. Bliss talks down as only she can and suggests Bayley leave the championships to the adults. A dropkick puts Bliss on the floor but she snaps Bayley's throat on the ropes and comes up with a kendo stick. One heck of a shot to the back sends Bayley outside and Bliss poses with the title. Heck of a segment from Bliss here, who is still on fire.
Angle is on the phone with Sami Zayn when Miz comes in to complain about what Ambrose did. Kurt gives him a rematch at Extreme Rules but Miz wants a match where the title can change hands on a countout or a DQ. Maryse yells at Angle in French so Angle uses some high school French to say he's a gold freaking medalist. Cue the Drifter to scare Miz and Maryse off. Angle: Can I help you? The Drifter leaves.
Neville/TJP vs. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries
I would have expected this to headline 205 Live. TJP charges into a boot to the face to start and the heels are sent outside for a flip dive. Back with Neville in control on Aries and sending him outside. Aries fights out of a chinlock (fans: CM PUNK!) and claps his hands around TJP's ears, allowing the tag off to Gallagher. Jack mixes it up a bit his week with some suplexes for two and everything breaks down. Aries' bad knee gets taken out but he's still able to hit a top rope ax handle. It sounds like the fans are chanting for Derek Jeter as TJP hits the Detonation Kick for the pin on Gallagher at 9:42.
Bayley is banged up when Angle comes in to say the rematch will be a regular match. That's not what Bayley wants though so Angle makes it a kendo stick on a pole match.
Golden Truth fires each other up.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Before the match we see the full opening video of Reigns and Strowman again. Reigns starts fast by throwing Balor around the ring, only to get kicked in the face twice in a row. Roman misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post, followed by a HARD running kick to the face. A double stomp to the back knocks Reigns even sillier as this has been almost one sided so far.
Back with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick to send Balor ribs first into the post. Reigns fires off the clotheslines in the corner and gets two off a sitout powerbomb. The bad shoulder gives out off another powerbomb attempt though and Balor hits a good looking double stomp. The Sling Blade drops Reigns but a Superman Punch is good for two. Balor kicks him down again, only to have the Coup de Grace broken up. The spear gives Reigns the clean pin at 14:36.
The lights go out and the announcers are surprised when it's Bray Wyatt on screen. Wyatt wants to slay Lesnar. Oh and he'll beat Rollins too.
Seth Rollins says he slayed the King so he can slay the Beast.
Golden Truth comes out for a match but Goldust turns on Truth and beats him down. Goldust: That's what's up.
Enzo Amore vs. Apollo Crews
Enzo talks about being from New Jersey but Titus O'Neil comes out and does his own version of the signature entrance, complete with a bit of the dance. Cass says hang on a second because the plans have changed.
Big Cass vs. Titus O'Neil
Titus is in a suit and beats Cass down but stops to take the belt off. Enzo offers a distraction though and a big boot ends Titus at 1:15.
Enzo takes a selfie with Crews, who enziguris him post match. That only kind of felt like a heel turn.
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast and sends Bray outside for a.....dive. Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Wyatt still in control and grabbing a superplex. Another Rock Bottom is broken up though and....let's have a graphic for the pay per view match IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MATCH.
Anyway Seth tosses him to the floor for a.....dive before Bray hits one of the hardest clotheslines I've ever seen. Another Rock Bottom gives Bray two but Seth gets in his low superkick for the same. Bray gets tossed outside (third time) for a top rope....oh you get the idea by now but Samoa Joe comes in for the most obvious DQ in recent memory at 14:13.
Bray and Joe beat on Rollins until Wyatt hits Joe with Sister Abigail to end the show.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus Swanton Bomb
Alicia Fox b. Sasha Banks Ax kick
Miz b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose kicked him low
Neville/TJP b. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries Detonation Kick to Gallagher
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor Spear
Big Cass b. Titus O'Neil Big boot
Seth Rollins b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when Samoa Joe interfered
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2017
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We're back stateside with the go home show for Sunday's Backlash. We have a few matches announced as it's Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton and a first time ever match between Jinder Mahal and AJ Styles. I put it in the quotes because while it's the first time the match has ever happened, I really don't know if that's worthy of mention it never happening before. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Kevin Owens' Highlight Reel with Kevin emphasizing that the original host will NEVER, EVER be seen here again. After a clip of the Chris Jericho beatdown, Owens introduces his guest in French, only to have AJ Styles (not the guest) interrupt on his own. He never did well in French class but on Sunday, he's taking the US Title and bringing it back to the USA. Styles is ready to fight not but here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to interrupt. Mahal is supposed to be the guest and doesn't seem pleased. The three all talk trash but Owens runs from AJ.
AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal
Owens is on commentary. Feeling out process to start without much of note to start. Jinder sends him to the apron though and AJ scores with a slingshot forearm to a kneeling Mahal. Some kicks to the chest have Mahal rocked and AJ follows up with a shortened Phenomenal Rush. A hard knee drops AJ though and we take a break.
Back with Jinder working on a chinlock for a good while. AJ fights up and crotches him on the top before dropkicking Jinder out of the air. Another forearm has Jinder in trouble but he kicks AJ in the face for two. Owens keeps cheering for Mahal but shouldn't he want the match to go on as long as possible so AJ can be hurt even more?
The fireman's carry into the flip neckbreaker gives AJ two but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Owens to hit AJ in the knee with the belt. Somehow the referee doesn't wonder why AJ has down and hurt his knee. The cobra clutch slam (the Kalas, Punjab for finish) gives Mahal the pin at 15:45.
It's Fashion Files time with more pictures and Post-It notes stuck to the walls. Breeze comes in with a blond wig and taped on mustache, whom Fandango praises for his expertise as a master of disguise. Tyler has found a number of fashion felonies, including EVERY BARON CORBIN shirt being a wolf design. The Usos are scary but their hair is like a mop. Breeze takes off the mustache, asking what in Versace's name is he wearing. They load up a high five but Breeze says freeze frame, leaving them both hanging in the air.
Randy Orton is ready for Mahal.
Breezango vs. Colons
Joined in progress with Breeze fighting out of some trouble and getting two on Epico. The cousins keep him in trouble though and Primo grabs an armbar. Breeze avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Fandango to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Falcon Arrow gives Fandango the pin at 3:18.
Post match the Usos come out to say they'll win on Sunday because this is the Uso penitentiary. They'll remain vicious and give you stitches and that's not paranoia.
Here's Shane McMahon for a contract signing for Sunday's six woman tag. Natalya uses her uncle's catchphrase and signs while Tamina and Carmella sign without saying anything. Becky laughs off the idea of being offered a spot on the team and can't wait to slap all three of them. Naomi tries to dub the team Royal Glow Fire and threatens to snatch them bald. Charlotte promises a win but after that she's coming for the crown.
Ellsworth cuts Shane off and says he can take care of himself. Shane has no idea what he's talking about but it's clear that Becky is staring at Ellsworth. Neither Charlotte nor Becky has a shot him though and Carmella is coming for his title. A fight nearly breaks out so Shane makes Carmella vs. Naomi for right now.
Carmella vs. Naomi
Non-title. Joined in progress with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and a running forearm in the corner. Naomi misses a knee drop though and gets sent face first into the mat. The threat of the Rear View sends Carmella outside and Ellsworth gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Carmella running away from some kicks and screaming a lot.
Naomi shuts her up with a dropkick, only to have Carmella kick her in the face and send her outside. The champ fights up again and hits a jawbreaker but Tamina and Natalya break up a cover, meaning it's a double ejection. Charlotte and Natalya get in a fight with them first though and Naomi goes over to kick Tamina in the back. The distraction lets Carmella grab a rollup for the pin at 11:21.
Dolph Ziggler has been watching all the Shinsuke Nakamura footage he can find in WWE but there's nothing to see. Instead, here's a Ziggler highlight package. Ziggler can't wait to beat Nakamura.
Sami Zayn has been granted a match with Baron Corbin for Backlash (That wasn't official yet?) because he thinks Corbin feels threatened by him. Corbin jumps him from behind and says stay down.
Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin
Non-title. They shove each other around to start with Corbin popping Orton in the jaw to take over for the first time. One heck of a clothesline gives Baron two and we take a break. Back with Orton missing a middle rope knee drop and getting caught in a chinlock. Corbin hammers him down again and some posing gets quite the negative reaction from the fans.
Baron says the people's reaction is why he's hurting Orton but he misses a charge into the corner. JBL keeps calling both of them great closers as Orton hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is broken up and Deep Six gives Baron a close two. Back up and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 13:20.
Post match Mahal comes out for a distraction so the Singh Brothers can come in for the attack. Mahal holds up the title to end the show.
Rusev never appeared despite being advertised.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. AJ Styles Kalas
Breezango b. Colons Falcon Arrow to Primo
Carmella b. Naomi Rollup
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin RKO
Wednesday
NXT
Date: May 17, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips
It's the go home show for Takeover: Chicago and that should mean a hard sell towards the show. The card currently has five matches, which is the norm for most of the Takeover specials. I'm not sure what to expect tonight but there's always the chance that the show can be a lot of fun. Let's get to it.
Bobby Roode arrived earlier today.
Opening sequence.
Drew McIntyre vs. Sean Maluta
Drew does his kneel in the corner until the bell for a good visual. Maluta gets driven into the corner to start but slaps Drew in the chest a few times. That just earns him an even harder chop, followed by a big throw across the ring. Maluta comes back with something like a middle rope Codebreaker for one, only to get thrown into the corner for some rapid fire right hands. Drew has a heck of a mouse under his right eye as he just knocks Maluta silly with a headbutt. The Claymore (or whatever it's called here) ends Sean at 3:22.
McIntyre isn't worried about having Wesley Blake's attention and challenges him to a match for next week.
We look back at Hideo Itami defeating Roderick Strong last week to become #1 contender. After the show went off the air, Sanity ran in to beat Strong down again. In the back, Strong told William Regal that he wanted Sanity.
Eric Young can't believe that Strong, who has a new baby, wants Sanity at Takeover. If Strong wants to lose everything, he's on.
We get a video package on Hideo Itami's NXT debut back in 2014. I never would have guessed it was that long ago. That shoulder injury really did take him out for a long time.
We run down the Takeover card.
Video on Tyler Bate defeating Pete Dunne to become the inaugural United Kingdom Champion and the build to their rematch.
The Velveteen Dream is coming.
Video of Itami at the big Wrestlemania XXXI weekend house show where he hit the first GTS. That's the moment where I had to get to an NXT show no matter what.
Strong vs. Young is confirmed for Takeover.
Earlier today, Asuka was in a car and wouldn't answer anything, saying next question until asking if the interview was over. She's kind of awesome as a heel, though she stops to take a picture with fans as she arrived at the arena. After she leaves them though, she doesn't seem pleased with what she had to do.
Lacey Evans vs. Sonya Deville
That would be Macey Estrella vs. Daria Barenato. Sonya doesn't waste time by hitting her in the face to start before throwing on a bodyscissors. The gloves come off and Sonya pounds the ribs with right hands. Lacey comes back with some shots to the face and a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as Sonya hits a standing Shining Wizard for the pin at 3:02.
We look at Itami putting Roode to sleep.
Kassius Ohno vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Ohno still looks ridiculous with the basketball jersey and trunks. Almas lays on the mat for an early rest before flipping over Kassius into a standoff. The threat of the elbow sends Almas outside but Kassius is fine with kicking him in the jaw. Almas gives him one of his own though and we take a break.
Back with Almas chopping him down in the corner and throwing on a cross armbreaker over the ropes. A missile dropkick to the arm gets two but the kickout is switched into a Fujiwara armbar. The running knees in the corner stun Ohno but he blocks a slap and hits some bicycle kicks to get a breather.
Ohno misses a moonsault though and a Nightmare on Helm Street gives Almas two. The backflip kick to the head drops Kassius again and the double knees connect in the corner. A reverse tornado DDT of all things gives Almas two and it's time to be shocked. Back to back rolling elbows end Almas at 13:51.
Last week Itami became #1 contender.
Here's Roode for the big closing speech. He got knocked out (while wearing a $5000 suit) with a GTS and that's never going to happen again. This Saturday he'll be in his ring gear ready to go because that's what he does every single night. Itami keeps getting hurt and coming back and getting hurt and coming back. Roode didn't even know Itami was still employed here. Cue Itami but Regal and security hold him back. That only lasts so long though as Hideo charges in anyway and gets in a few shots. Security breaks it up but Itami gives one of them a GTS. Roode tries to charge in but gets put to sleep to end the show.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Sean Maluta Running kick to the face
Sonya Deville b. Lacey Evans Standing Shining Wizard
Kassius Ohno b. Andrade Cien Almas Rolling elbow
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
We're back to Orlando as Impact is featuring the X-Division again, this time in an Ultimate X match. Other than that we have the fallout from Alberto El Patron winning the GFW World Title last week, which is now the top story in the promotion as Lashley doesn't seem to defend his TNA World Title anymore. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of LAX disrespecting the fallen Decay and promising to win the GFW Tag Team Titles. The Veterans of War came out to clean house. We also see a clip of El Patron winning the title.
Preview of Ultimate X.
Opening sequence.
GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: LAX vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.
So the Impact Tag Team Champions are in this tournament too? Didn't they learn anything from the WCW/NWA Tag Team Title mess in 1992? It's a brawl to start with LAX being sent outside for stereo moonsaults from Kid and Jr. Back in and Ortiz stomps on Kid in the corner until a crossbody drops the champ.
A Death Valley Driver connects on Laredo but Jr. tagged himself in so there's no count. Everything breaks down with Garza getting beaten down, including a few cheap shots from Homicide. It's nice for him to earn his check like that. Or the pile of office supplies that TNA probably used to pay him.
Santana kicks Garza in the back for two but he tells LAX to stop so he can strip.....and they're nice enough to let him. After that ridiculous moment, Laredo comes in to speed things up. Santana and Laredo clothesline each other and we take a break. Back with Ortiz getting catapulted into a superkick, followed by a Lionsault for two. Diamante grabs a hurricanrana to take out Garza, leaving Laredo Kid to take a Canadian Destroyer and the Sweet Sweeper for the pin at 12:02.
JB's fans mock Josh but there's no JB in sight.
Magnus comes up to Bruce Prichard in the back and wants to know what's going on around here. Why is Bruce messing with Magnus' career? Bruce says Magnus is out of the picture now (so much for rematch clauses) but Magnus promises to do something about it.
Video on Laurel Van Ness bringing in Kongo Kong (who she found.....somewhere) to take care of Braxton Sutter and Allie.
Kongo Kong vs. Braxton Sutter
Sutter ducks the fat man offense to start and slips out of a powerslam. That's about it for him though as a belly to belly crushes Braxton. Kong shouts a lot as Laurel is playing with lipstick. Braxton avoids the Cannonball in the corner and hammers away but can't drop the big man. Clotheslines and a bicycle kick don't put him down so Kongo splashes him in the corner, followed by an Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 3:20.
Post match KM and Sienna come in and beat on Sutter while Allie is forced to watch. Mahabali Shera comes in for the save. Did I mention they're going to India for tapings soon? Sutter issues a challenge for a tag match next week.
We look back at last week's X-Division triple threat with Andrew Everett getting the win.
Matt Sydal loves the competition around here.
Video on the history of Ultimate X. This is cool, but it would be nicer if I believed any of these people had a chance of moving up the ladder to the main event scene.
Karen Jarrett makes Eddie Edwards/Alisha vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love for next week. Magnus walks by and doesn't pay any attention to her.
We look at EC3 whipping James Storm. That was quite the segment.
Ethan Carter III vs. James Storm
Well that's.....sudden. Magnus is on commentary. Storm brings in his own strap but opts to clothesline Carter in the corner instead. The referee pulls Storm away so Carter can hit him from behind to really take over. Ethan is smart enough to go after the injured back before switching to the knee for no logical reason.
We hit the chinlock for a bit as the announcers discuss who may or may not be a stooge. A running knee to the back sends Storm outside but James gets in a kick to the side of the head. Magnus won't let him use the strap though, drawing out Prichard to eject him. Back from a break with Carter working on a half camel clutch and slapping Storm in the back. That has no effect either so Storm grabs a neckbreaker, only to get crotched on top. The TK3 drops Storm and it's strap time but Carter shoves the referee for the DQ at 14:55.
Carter whips the referee but Storm makes the save, only to have Magnus come in and beat him down. That's not cool with Carter so he argues with Magnus. Bruce Prichard comes out again and makes a triple threat for next week. Prichard isn't done yet as he tells Carter to go find his testicles, earning himself a shove to the mat.
Spud is coming for Swoggle next week.
GFW Women's Title: Sienna vs. ODB
ODB is challenging. Sienna wastes no time in throwing her to the floor before they trade splashes in the corner. The head shoves into the crotch have Sienna in trouble but the middle rope Thesz press misses. Sienna pounces her for the pin at 2:45. This was nothing.
The announcers bicker until JB comes out, carrying a microphone. JB has hired an attorney and he's back around here full time. The attorney is Joseph Park, who I believe we established WASN'T A REAL ATTORNEY BECAUSE HE'S ABYSS. JB is back on commentary so Josh bickers with Park, who he calls Abyss. Park: You get my insides burning just like my aunt's famous chili. A challenge is issued for a tag match if Josh can find a partner for Slammiversary. We have to listen to this build for another SIX WEEKS. Josh leaves to find a partner now and JB takes his place.
We look back at Patron winning the title last week.
Patron is happy to have won and praises Magnus' skill.
X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett
Low Ki is defending and this is Ultimate X, basically meaning a ladder match where you have to crawl across ropes instead of climbing in the middle. The champ is in a suit again and kicks away to start but gets sent into the metal structure that holds the cables when he tries to get the belt. Everett scores with the Frankendriver but Lee shoves both of them off the apron and into the barricade.
Back from an early break with Low Ki down, leaving Lee to send Everett into the corner again. Lee throws the champ outside again as the announcers ignore the match to talk about what we're seeing next week. Everett is alone in the ring so of course he goes with a springboard shooting star press instead of grabbing the title. For some reason Low Ki is up first so Everett dropkicks him down.
Lee throws a chair to knock Everett off the ropes....but it bounces back and hits him in the head too. Low Ki gets back in and punches the chair into Lee's face, only to eat the standing double stomp. Somehow the champ is up first again and he takes off the jacket to make things even more serious.
Everett ties him up in the structure but here's Gregory Helms with a super swinging neckbreaker to drop Everett again. Lee stands on Helms' shoulders and goes for the belt but OF COURSE Low Ki is back up for the save. The champ goes to the top of the structure and drops through the middle, knocks down both challengers and retains the title at 17:15.
Results
LAX b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. Street Sweeper to Kid
Kongo Kong b. Braxton Sutter Emerald Flowsion
James Storm b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter hit the referee
Low Ki b. Andrew Everett and Trevor Lee Low Ki pulled down the belt
Braun Strowman will be out up to six months after elbow and shoulder surgery.
Monday Night Raw
Date: May 15, 2017
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., Corey Graves
This could be an interesting show as the roster is freshly back from Europe, meaning there could be some severe jet lag issues. The other major issue at the moment is Braun Strowman, whose recent surgery will put him out until November instead of early July as originally thought. Tonight we might find out who is going to take his place. Let's get to it.
We open with a long recap of Roman Reigns beating down Braun Strowman and putting him on the shelf for a long time.
Opening sequence.
Here's Kurt Angle to open the show. He talks about Strowman's injury and says we need a new name at the top of the card to challenge Brock Lesnar for the Universal Title. Therefore, we're going to have an extreme five way at Extreme Rules for the #1 contendership with Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, Bray Wyatt, Samoa Joe and Roman Reigns facing off for the shot.
This brings out Reigns to say he's the Big Dog, Balor to say he never lost the Universal Title and that he beat Reigns, Joe to say he's shown his worth through his actions, Wyatt to say everyone will fall, cower and run and Rollins to say he wants to fight. Joe obliges him and it's a huge brawl with Balor hitting a big flip dive and leaving everyone laying. This was EXACTLY what they needed to do as they've set up the match with a clear goal and dealt with the next few months without missing a beat. That's as good as it could have been done.
Post break Rollins, Reigns and Balor are all fired up so Angle makes some matches for later tonight: Rollins vs. Wyatt and Reigns vs. Balor.
Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Sheamus is in a shirt for some reason and gets stomped down in the corner. Jeff's dive over the top is easily caught though and Sheamus sends him into the barricade as we go to a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a hard knee to the jaw for two but Jeff dropkicks him out of the air and gets two off a Twisting Stunner. Sheamus kicks Matt off the apron but walks into the Twist of Fate, followed by the Swanton for the pin at 8:36.
Sasha Banks vs. Alicia Fox
Banks beat her last week but Fox had her shoulder up at two. Fox kicks her in the face for two to start and hits that great looking northern lights suplex for two. Sasha can't get the Bank Statement and seems to hurt her leg on the way down. Back in and Fox hits the ax kick for the completely clean pin at 3:02.
Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Ambrose is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Miz bails to the floor though and we take a break. Back with Miz hitting his running clothesline in the corner, followed by the YES Kicks. Dean comes back with a suicide dive, followed by a bulldog for two back inside. Miz misses a running charge in the corner, followed by the top rope standing elbow to give Dean two more.
The rebound lariat is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the very close near fall, giving us a shocked look from Miz. Dean sends him outside again so Miz hides behind Maryse, only to have Dean dive anyway. Maryse offers a distraction but the low blow is blocked, allowing Dean to kick Miz low for the DQ at 12:02. Dean looks stunned at the DQ for some reason.
Balor says Roman's yard is in his universe.
Here's Alexa Bliss for a chat. Bliss rips on Newark a bit before talking about what it's like to be a winner. When you're smarter than everyone else and more dominant than everyone else, winning just comes easily. If you're a failure, say what. Crowd: WHAT! Bliss: My point exactly. If she had entered Miss USA last night, she would have walked off with the crown. Bliss: So Miss USA: you're welcome.
Cue Bayley to interrupt though she knows Bliss doesn't care what she says. Bayley is invoking her rematch clause at Extreme Rules but Bliss needs to make it clear that it won't be extreme pogo sticking. Bliss talks down as only she can and suggests Bayley leave the championships to the adults. A dropkick puts Bliss on the floor but she snaps Bayley's throat on the ropes and comes up with a kendo stick. One heck of a shot to the back sends Bayley outside and Bliss poses with the title. Heck of a segment from Bliss here, who is still on fire.
Angle is on the phone with Sami Zayn when Miz comes in to complain about what Ambrose did. Kurt gives him a rematch at Extreme Rules but Miz wants a match where the title can change hands on a countout or a DQ. Maryse yells at Angle in French so Angle uses some high school French to say he's a gold freaking medalist. Cue the Drifter to scare Miz and Maryse off. Angle: Can I help you? The Drifter leaves.
Neville/TJP vs. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries
I would have expected this to headline 205 Live. TJP charges into a boot to the face to start and the heels are sent outside for a flip dive. Back with Neville in control on Aries and sending him outside. Aries fights out of a chinlock (fans: CM PUNK!) and claps his hands around TJP's ears, allowing the tag off to Gallagher. Jack mixes it up a bit his week with some suplexes for two and everything breaks down. Aries' bad knee gets taken out but he's still able to hit a top rope ax handle. It sounds like the fans are chanting for Derek Jeter as TJP hits the Detonation Kick for the pin on Gallagher at 9:42.
Bayley is banged up when Angle comes in to say the rematch will be a regular match. That's not what Bayley wants though so Angle makes it a kendo stick on a pole match.
Golden Truth fires each other up.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Before the match we see the full opening video of Reigns and Strowman again. Reigns starts fast by throwing Balor around the ring, only to get kicked in the face twice in a row. Roman misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post, followed by a HARD running kick to the face. A double stomp to the back knocks Reigns even sillier as this has been almost one sided so far.
Back with Reigns hitting the apron dropkick to send Balor ribs first into the post. Reigns fires off the clotheslines in the corner and gets two off a sitout powerbomb. The bad shoulder gives out off another powerbomb attempt though and Balor hits a good looking double stomp. The Sling Blade drops Reigns but a Superman Punch is good for two. Balor kicks him down again, only to have the Coup de Grace broken up. The spear gives Reigns the clean pin at 14:36.
The lights go out and the announcers are surprised when it's Bray Wyatt on screen. Wyatt wants to slay Lesnar. Oh and he'll beat Rollins too.
Seth Rollins says he slayed the King so he can slay the Beast.
Golden Truth comes out for a match but Goldust turns on Truth and beats him down. Goldust: That's what's up.
Enzo Amore vs. Apollo Crews
Enzo talks about being from New Jersey but Titus O'Neil comes out and does his own version of the signature entrance, complete with a bit of the dance. Cass says hang on a second because the plans have changed.
Big Cass vs. Titus O'Neil
Titus is in a suit and beats Cass down but stops to take the belt off. Enzo offers a distraction though and a big boot ends Titus at 1:15.
Enzo takes a selfie with Crews, who enziguris him post match. That only kind of felt like a heel turn.
Bray Wyatt vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins starts fast and sends Bray outside for a.....dive. Bray Rock Bottoms him onto the barricade though and we take a break. Back with Wyatt still in control and grabbing a superplex. Another Rock Bottom is broken up though and....let's have a graphic for the pay per view match IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS MATCH.
Anyway Seth tosses him to the floor for a.....dive before Bray hits one of the hardest clotheslines I've ever seen. Another Rock Bottom gives Bray two but Seth gets in his low superkick for the same. Bray gets tossed outside (third time) for a top rope....oh you get the idea by now but Samoa Joe comes in for the most obvious DQ in recent memory at 14:13.
Bray and Joe beat on Rollins until Wyatt hits Joe with Sister Abigail to end the show.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Sheamus Swanton Bomb
Alicia Fox b. Sasha Banks Ax kick
Miz b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose kicked him low
Neville/TJP b. Jack Gallagher/Austin Aries Detonation Kick to Gallagher
Roman Reigns b. Finn Balor Spear
Big Cass b. Titus O'Neil Big boot
Seth Rollins b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when Samoa Joe interfered
Tuesday
Smackdown
Date: May 16, 2017
Location: SNHU Arena, Manchester, New Hampshire
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We're back stateside with the go home show for Sunday's Backlash. We have a few matches announced as it's Baron Corbin vs. Randy Orton and a first time ever match between Jinder Mahal and AJ Styles. I put it in the quotes because while it's the first time the match has ever happened, I really don't know if that's worthy of mention it never happening before. Let's get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with Kevin Owens' Highlight Reel with Kevin emphasizing that the original host will NEVER, EVER be seen here again. After a clip of the Chris Jericho beatdown, Owens introduces his guest in French, only to have AJ Styles (not the guest) interrupt on his own. He never did well in French class but on Sunday, he's taking the US Title and bringing it back to the USA. Styles is ready to fight not but here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers to interrupt. Mahal is supposed to be the guest and doesn't seem pleased. The three all talk trash but Owens runs from AJ.
AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal
Owens is on commentary. Feeling out process to start without much of note to start. Jinder sends him to the apron though and AJ scores with a slingshot forearm to a kneeling Mahal. Some kicks to the chest have Mahal rocked and AJ follows up with a shortened Phenomenal Rush. A hard knee drops AJ though and we take a break.
Back with Jinder working on a chinlock for a good while. AJ fights up and crotches him on the top before dropkicking Jinder out of the air. Another forearm has Jinder in trouble but he kicks AJ in the face for two. Owens keeps cheering for Mahal but shouldn't he want the match to go on as long as possible so AJ can be hurt even more?
The fireman's carry into the flip neckbreaker gives AJ two but the Singh Brothers offer a distraction, allowing Owens to hit AJ in the knee with the belt. Somehow the referee doesn't wonder why AJ has down and hurt his knee. The cobra clutch slam (the Kalas, Punjab for finish) gives Mahal the pin at 15:45.
It's Fashion Files time with more pictures and Post-It notes stuck to the walls. Breeze comes in with a blond wig and taped on mustache, whom Fandango praises for his expertise as a master of disguise. Tyler has found a number of fashion felonies, including EVERY BARON CORBIN shirt being a wolf design. The Usos are scary but their hair is like a mop. Breeze takes off the mustache, asking what in Versace's name is he wearing. They load up a high five but Breeze says freeze frame, leaving them both hanging in the air.
Randy Orton is ready for Mahal.
Breezango vs. Colons
Joined in progress with Breeze fighting out of some trouble and getting two on Epico. The cousins keep him in trouble though and Primo grabs an armbar. Breeze avoids a charge though and the hot tag brings in Fandango to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Falcon Arrow gives Fandango the pin at 3:18.
Post match the Usos come out to say they'll win on Sunday because this is the Uso penitentiary. They'll remain vicious and give you stitches and that's not paranoia.
Here's Shane McMahon for a contract signing for Sunday's six woman tag. Natalya uses her uncle's catchphrase and signs while Tamina and Carmella sign without saying anything. Becky laughs off the idea of being offered a spot on the team and can't wait to slap all three of them. Naomi tries to dub the team Royal Glow Fire and threatens to snatch them bald. Charlotte promises a win but after that she's coming for the crown.
Ellsworth cuts Shane off and says he can take care of himself. Shane has no idea what he's talking about but it's clear that Becky is staring at Ellsworth. Neither Charlotte nor Becky has a shot him though and Carmella is coming for his title. A fight nearly breaks out so Shane makes Carmella vs. Naomi for right now.
Carmella vs. Naomi
Non-title. Joined in progress with Naomi hitting a Thesz press and a running forearm in the corner. Naomi misses a knee drop though and gets sent face first into the mat. The threat of the Rear View sends Carmella outside and Ellsworth gets ejected. We take a break and come back with Carmella running away from some kicks and screaming a lot.
Naomi shuts her up with a dropkick, only to have Carmella kick her in the face and send her outside. The champ fights up again and hits a jawbreaker but Tamina and Natalya break up a cover, meaning it's a double ejection. Charlotte and Natalya get in a fight with them first though and Naomi goes over to kick Tamina in the back. The distraction lets Carmella grab a rollup for the pin at 11:21.
Dolph Ziggler has been watching all the Shinsuke Nakamura footage he can find in WWE but there's nothing to see. Instead, here's a Ziggler highlight package. Ziggler can't wait to beat Nakamura.
Sami Zayn has been granted a match with Baron Corbin for Backlash (That wasn't official yet?) because he thinks Corbin feels threatened by him. Corbin jumps him from behind and says stay down.
Randy Orton vs. Baron Corbin
Non-title. They shove each other around to start with Corbin popping Orton in the jaw to take over for the first time. One heck of a clothesline gives Baron two and we take a break. Back with Orton missing a middle rope knee drop and getting caught in a chinlock. Corbin hammers him down again and some posing gets quite the negative reaction from the fans.
Baron says the people's reaction is why he's hurting Orton but he misses a charge into the corner. JBL keeps calling both of them great closers as Orton hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is broken up and Deep Six gives Baron a close two. Back up and the RKO gives Orton the pin at 13:20.
Post match Mahal comes out for a distraction so the Singh Brothers can come in for the attack. Mahal holds up the title to end the show.
Rusev never appeared despite being advertised.
Results
Jinder Mahal b. AJ Styles Kalas
Breezango b. Colons Falcon Arrow to Primo
Carmella b. Naomi Rollup
Randy Orton b. Baron Corbin RKO
Wednesday
NXT
Date: May 17, 2017
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness, Tom Phillips
It's the go home show for Takeover: Chicago and that should mean a hard sell towards the show. The card currently has five matches, which is the norm for most of the Takeover specials. I'm not sure what to expect tonight but there's always the chance that the show can be a lot of fun. Let's get to it.
Bobby Roode arrived earlier today.
Opening sequence.
Drew McIntyre vs. Sean Maluta
Drew does his kneel in the corner until the bell for a good visual. Maluta gets driven into the corner to start but slaps Drew in the chest a few times. That just earns him an even harder chop, followed by a big throw across the ring. Maluta comes back with something like a middle rope Codebreaker for one, only to get thrown into the corner for some rapid fire right hands. Drew has a heck of a mouse under his right eye as he just knocks Maluta silly with a headbutt. The Claymore (or whatever it's called here) ends Sean at 3:22.
McIntyre isn't worried about having Wesley Blake's attention and challenges him to a match for next week.
We look back at Hideo Itami defeating Roderick Strong last week to become #1 contender. After the show went off the air, Sanity ran in to beat Strong down again. In the back, Strong told William Regal that he wanted Sanity.
Eric Young can't believe that Strong, who has a new baby, wants Sanity at Takeover. If Strong wants to lose everything, he's on.
We get a video package on Hideo Itami's NXT debut back in 2014. I never would have guessed it was that long ago. That shoulder injury really did take him out for a long time.
We run down the Takeover card.
Video on Tyler Bate defeating Pete Dunne to become the inaugural United Kingdom Champion and the build to their rematch.
The Velveteen Dream is coming.
Video of Itami at the big Wrestlemania XXXI weekend house show where he hit the first GTS. That's the moment where I had to get to an NXT show no matter what.
Strong vs. Young is confirmed for Takeover.
Earlier today, Asuka was in a car and wouldn't answer anything, saying next question until asking if the interview was over. She's kind of awesome as a heel, though she stops to take a picture with fans as she arrived at the arena. After she leaves them though, she doesn't seem pleased with what she had to do.
Lacey Evans vs. Sonya Deville
That would be Macey Estrella vs. Daria Barenato. Sonya doesn't waste time by hitting her in the face to start before throwing on a bodyscissors. The gloves come off and Sonya pounds the ribs with right hands. Lacey comes back with some shots to the face and a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as Sonya hits a standing Shining Wizard for the pin at 3:02.
We look at Itami putting Roode to sleep.
Kassius Ohno vs. Andrade Cien Almas
Ohno still looks ridiculous with the basketball jersey and trunks. Almas lays on the mat for an early rest before flipping over Kassius into a standoff. The threat of the elbow sends Almas outside but Kassius is fine with kicking him in the jaw. Almas gives him one of his own though and we take a break.
Back with Almas chopping him down in the corner and throwing on a cross armbreaker over the ropes. A missile dropkick to the arm gets two but the kickout is switched into a Fujiwara armbar. The running knees in the corner stun Ohno but he blocks a slap and hits some bicycle kicks to get a breather.
Ohno misses a moonsault though and a Nightmare on Helm Street gives Almas two. The backflip kick to the head drops Kassius again and the double knees connect in the corner. A reverse tornado DDT of all things gives Almas two and it's time to be shocked. Back to back rolling elbows end Almas at 13:51.
Last week Itami became #1 contender.
Here's Roode for the big closing speech. He got knocked out (while wearing a $5000 suit) with a GTS and that's never going to happen again. This Saturday he'll be in his ring gear ready to go because that's what he does every single night. Itami keeps getting hurt and coming back and getting hurt and coming back. Roode didn't even know Itami was still employed here. Cue Itami but Regal and security hold him back. That only lasts so long though as Hideo charges in anyway and gets in a few shots. Security breaks it up but Itami gives one of them a GTS. Roode tries to charge in but gets put to sleep to end the show.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Sean Maluta Running kick to the face
Sonya Deville b. Lacey Evans Standing Shining Wizard
Kassius Ohno b. Andrade Cien Almas Rolling elbow
Thursday
Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero
We're back to Orlando as Impact is featuring the X-Division again, this time in an Ultimate X match. Other than that we have the fallout from Alberto El Patron winning the GFW World Title last week, which is now the top story in the promotion as Lashley doesn't seem to defend his TNA World Title anymore. Let's get to it.
We open with a recap of LAX disrespecting the fallen Decay and promising to win the GFW Tag Team Titles. The Veterans of War came out to clean house. We also see a clip of El Patron winning the title.
Preview of Ultimate X.
Opening sequence.
GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: LAX vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.
So the Impact Tag Team Champions are in this tournament too? Didn't they learn anything from the WCW/NWA Tag Team Title mess in 1992? It's a brawl to start with LAX being sent outside for stereo moonsaults from Kid and Jr. Back in and Ortiz stomps on Kid in the corner until a crossbody drops the champ.
A Death Valley Driver connects on Laredo but Jr. tagged himself in so there's no count. Everything breaks down with Garza getting beaten down, including a few cheap shots from Homicide. It's nice for him to earn his check like that. Or the pile of office supplies that TNA probably used to pay him.
Santana kicks Garza in the back for two but he tells LAX to stop so he can strip.....and they're nice enough to let him. After that ridiculous moment, Laredo comes in to speed things up. Santana and Laredo clothesline each other and we take a break. Back with Ortiz getting catapulted into a superkick, followed by a Lionsault for two. Diamante grabs a hurricanrana to take out Garza, leaving Laredo Kid to take a Canadian Destroyer and the Sweet Sweeper for the pin at 12:02.
JB's fans mock Josh but there's no JB in sight.
Magnus comes up to Bruce Prichard in the back and wants to know what's going on around here. Why is Bruce messing with Magnus' career? Bruce says Magnus is out of the picture now (so much for rematch clauses) but Magnus promises to do something about it.
Video on Laurel Van Ness bringing in Kongo Kong (who she found.....somewhere) to take care of Braxton Sutter and Allie.
Kongo Kong vs. Braxton Sutter
Sutter ducks the fat man offense to start and slips out of a powerslam. That's about it for him though as a belly to belly crushes Braxton. Kong shouts a lot as Laurel is playing with lipstick. Braxton avoids the Cannonball in the corner and hammers away but can't drop the big man. Clotheslines and a bicycle kick don't put him down so Kongo splashes him in the corner, followed by an Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 3:20.
Post match KM and Sienna come in and beat on Sutter while Allie is forced to watch. Mahabali Shera comes in for the save. Did I mention they're going to India for tapings soon? Sutter issues a challenge for a tag match next week.
We look back at last week's X-Division triple threat with Andrew Everett getting the win.
Matt Sydal loves the competition around here.
Video on the history of Ultimate X. This is cool, but it would be nicer if I believed any of these people had a chance of moving up the ladder to the main event scene.
Karen Jarrett makes Eddie Edwards/Alisha vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love for next week. Magnus walks by and doesn't pay any attention to her.
We look at EC3 whipping James Storm. That was quite the segment.
Ethan Carter III vs. James Storm
Well that's.....sudden. Magnus is on commentary. Storm brings in his own strap but opts to clothesline Carter in the corner instead. The referee pulls Storm away so Carter can hit him from behind to really take over. Ethan is smart enough to go after the injured back before switching to the knee for no logical reason.
We hit the chinlock for a bit as the announcers discuss who may or may not be a stooge. A running knee to the back sends Storm outside but James gets in a kick to the side of the head. Magnus won't let him use the strap though, drawing out Prichard to eject him. Back from a break with Carter working on a half camel clutch and slapping Storm in the back. That has no effect either so Storm grabs a neckbreaker, only to get crotched on top. The TK3 drops Storm and it's strap time but Carter shoves the referee for the DQ at 14:55.
Carter whips the referee but Storm makes the save, only to have Magnus come in and beat him down. That's not cool with Carter so he argues with Magnus. Bruce Prichard comes out again and makes a triple threat for next week. Prichard isn't done yet as he tells Carter to go find his testicles, earning himself a shove to the mat.
Spud is coming for Swoggle next week.
GFW Women's Title: Sienna vs. ODB
ODB is challenging. Sienna wastes no time in throwing her to the floor before they trade splashes in the corner. The head shoves into the crotch have Sienna in trouble but the middle rope Thesz press misses. Sienna pounces her for the pin at 2:45. This was nothing.
The announcers bicker until JB comes out, carrying a microphone. JB has hired an attorney and he's back around here full time. The attorney is Joseph Park, who I believe we established WASN'T A REAL ATTORNEY BECAUSE HE'S ABYSS. JB is back on commentary so Josh bickers with Park, who he calls Abyss. Park: You get my insides burning just like my aunt's famous chili. A challenge is issued for a tag match if Josh can find a partner for Slammiversary. We have to listen to this build for another SIX WEEKS. Josh leaves to find a partner now and JB takes his place.
We look back at Patron winning the title last week.
Patron is happy to have won and praises Magnus' skill.
X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett
Low Ki is defending and this is Ultimate X, basically meaning a ladder match where you have to crawl across ropes instead of climbing in the middle. The champ is in a suit again and kicks away to start but gets sent into the metal structure that holds the cables when he tries to get the belt. Everett scores with the Frankendriver but Lee shoves both of them off the apron and into the barricade.
Back from an early break with Low Ki down, leaving Lee to send Everett into the corner again. Lee throws the champ outside again as the announcers ignore the match to talk about what we're seeing next week. Everett is alone in the ring so of course he goes with a springboard shooting star press instead of grabbing the title. For some reason Low Ki is up first so Everett dropkicks him down.
Lee throws a chair to knock Everett off the ropes....but it bounces back and hits him in the head too. Low Ki gets back in and punches the chair into Lee's face, only to eat the standing double stomp. Somehow the champ is up first again and he takes off the jacket to make things even more serious.
Everett ties him up in the structure but here's Gregory Helms with a super swinging neckbreaker to drop Everett again. Lee stands on Helms' shoulders and goes for the belt but OF COURSE Low Ki is back up for the save. The champ goes to the top of the structure and drops through the middle, knocks down both challengers and retains the title at 17:15.
Results
LAX b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. Street Sweeper to Kid
Kongo Kong b. Braxton Sutter Emerald Flowsion
James Storm b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter hit the referee
Low Ki b. Andrew Everett and Trevor Lee Low Ki pulled down the belt