Week of 5/14/2018 - 5/20/2018

Discussion in 'The Weekly Wrestling Review' started by klunderbunker, May 21, 2018.

  1. klunderbunker

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    Monday Night Raw
    Date: May 14, 2018
    Location: 02 Arena, London, England
    Commentators: Corey Graves, Booker T., Michael Cole

    We’re over in England for a taped show as WWE’s never ending spring tour continues. It’s still the Money in the Bank qualifying season to go with one or two other stories. This time around that includes Seth Rollins defending the Intercontinental Title against Kevin Owens in an already answered open challenge. In addition to that though we have the fallout from Jinder Mahal attacking Roman Reigns and costing him a qualifying match last week. Let’s get to it.

    We open with a recap of the NBC Up Fronts today with Nia Jax challenging Ronda Rousey. More on this later.

    Here’s Roman Reigns to get things going with some Wrestlemania sized booing. I know the UK crowd only gets to see him a few times a year so they have to get it all in (what a failing concept) while they can. Reigns says he got ripped off last week and this time it wasn’t because of WWE management. He wants Mahal out here right now to make up for last week but here’s Kurt Angle to interrupt.

    Angle says Jinder won’t be coming out here right now and the fans are NOT happy. Reigns isn’t pleased and it’s made even worse when Angle says Jinder will be in a Money in the Bank qualifying triple threat tonight. That’s fine with Reigns as Angle can just make it a four way. That’s a no as well because Reigns isn’t getting another qualifying opportunity. Reigns gets that and goes to find Jinder himself, earning a Goodbye Song from the fans.

    We cut to Reigns in the back (more booing) and he finds Mahal, who throws the Singh Brother at him like a projectile. The brawl is on with both guys being thrown into stuff and then fighting back into the arena. Reigns hits a Superman Punch on the stage but Angle and security break it up.

    Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens

    Rollins is defending. Owens goes with right hands to the ribs to start and pounds away in the corner. Some kicks to the ribs get Rollins out of trouble and put Owens on the floor for a suicide dive. Owens pulls it out of the air and tosses him into the post, setting up a backsplash for two inside.

    Back from a break with Rollins escaping an apron powerbomb and hitting a Falcon Arrow on the apron (that’s a new one) to knock them both down on the floor. It’s Rollins up first with some suicide dives but his own ribs look a little banged up. Back in and the springboard clothesline drops Owens again but a hard DDT gives Owens two. A clothesline gets the same as Rollins is more surviving than hanging in there at this point.

    The Swanton hits raised knees and there’s the low superkick. The Revolution knee gets two but Seth’s frog splash hits knees as well, allowing Owens to get two off a small package. Owens goes up with Rollins trying the running superplex into the Falcon Arrow, only to have Owens hit his swinging superplex instead. That’s quite the counter and the surprise worked well. As they come back in, Rollins scores with a Stomp out of nowhere to retain at 14:55.

    We go to the NBC Up Fronts with various WWE names, including an interview with Ronda Rousey. Nia Jax came up and challenged her at Money in the Bank, with Rousey accepting. The match is official. I mean, it’s also stupid to go this way, but it’s official.

    Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel come into Angle’s office, dub themselves the B Team (Dallas: “The B stands for BEST!”), and ask for a title shot. Angle points out that they’ve never actually won a match. Dallas says the Miztourage hasn’t done very well but the B Team is undefeated. Angle gives them a match to prove themselves if they’ll leave him alone. Works for me, as they’re still funny together.

    Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Baron Corbin vs. No Way Jose vs. Bobby Roode

    Corbin wastes no time in sending Jose outside but Roode punches away to take over. There’s a Blockbuster for two and we take an early break. Back with Corbin knocking Jose off the apron but going after him this time to continue the beating. Roode decks Corbin and Jose is finally able to get in some offense, including a middle rope crossbody for two. The spinebuster gets two on Jose and Roode goes up for a clothesline to take him down again.

    The GLORIOUS pose looks to set up the DDT but Corbin offers a distraction, allowing Jose to clothesline Roode to the floor. Corbin keeps up the clothesline train with a running version off the apron. The chokebreaker drops Jose for two and Deep Six gets the same on Roode. Jose makes a save and Corbin is sent into the post but the Glorious DDT puts Jose away at 10:43.

    Owens wants a rematch with Rollins but Angle says no. That’s fine with Kevin, who pulls out his phone to call Stephanie McMahon. Angle goes in to see Jinder, who begs him to postpone the match. That can’t happen because tonight is the last night for qualifying matches on Raw, which doesn’t sit well with Mahal.

    B Team vs. Breezango

    B Team has homemade shirts, which are just white shirts with a B drawn in Sharpie. Bo rolls Breeze up for two to start and strikes a B TEAM pose. Breeze gets two off some rollups so the B Team takes a breather. Back in and Breezango hits a dropkick but Axel takes him down. Both Axel and Dallas take turns with elbows but a missed attempt allows the hot tag to Fandango. Booker complains about Fandango’s pants as he gets two off a powerslam to Axel. Bo comes back in and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo is good for the pin at 3:45.

    Post match the B Team can’t believe what just happened but promise to win the titles.

    Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

    Moon headscissors Logan to start but Sasha tags herself in from behind and gets two off the running knees. Sasha drops Logan again and it’s a big staredown as we take a break. Back with Morgan getting suplexed and Sasha working on a wristlock. Morgan gets in a middle rope faceplant to drop Sasha and we hit a cross arm choke.

    Riott comes in but gets sent into the post, followed by a rollup for two on Morgan. The kickout sends Banks into the corner for the tag to Natalya and even more silence from the fans. Everything breaks down and Logan gets backdropped to the floor, followed by the running knees (now called the Meteora) from Sasha. Moon dives onto Riott, leaving Natalya to Sharpshooter Morgan for the tap at 14:23.

    Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler don’t like Finn Balor and Braun Strowman. Why not? Eh, they need something to do.

    Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

    Non-title. Wilder armdrags Matt to start, which has Matt so flabbergasted that he declares it WONDERFUL, earning a standing ovation. Cole makes fun of the Woken deal as the B Team is watching in the back. Bray uppercuts Dawson to set up the backsplash, followed by a running headbutt/belly to back suplex combination for two. Wilder makes a blind tag and Revival starts in on the knee. A missed charge allows the hot tag to Wyatt and it’s a release Rock Bottom to plant Dawson. The Twist of Fate hits Wilder and the Kiss of Deletion (the double Downward Spiral) ends Dawson at 4:47.

    Here’s Sami Zayn to say that Prince Harry looks like him. That brings him to Bobby Lashley of all people, who is Mr. jacked up and intense. Lashley was gone for ten years and then made his return when Sami made his return to Raw. We see a still of Lashley’s delayed vertical suplex on Sami and that’s what gave him Vertigo. Sami busts out a doctor’s note (and reading glasses of course) which explains Vertigo to the fans. All of Sami’s recent issues have been because of that suplex and Sami can’t believe that Lashley is getting cheered.

    We see a clip of the sitdown interview last week and Sami thinks Lashley wants to be him. The interview makes Sami think Lashley is hiding something so he got on Facebook to talk to Lashley’s sisters. They were nothing like what Lashley described and Lashley isn’t quite the person that he portrays himself to be either. Next week, the sisters will be here to show what Lashley really is.

    Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James vs. Bayley

    Bayley gets knocked outside and we take a break less than thirty seconds in. Back with Bayley still getting double teamed and having her comeback cut off. As is customary, Mickie turns on Bliss with a rollup for two but they still get together to kick Bayley down. A double high crossbody gives Bayley an opening and a double Stunner over the ropes makes thins even worse.

    Mickie gets dropped face first on the top rope but she’s still able to break up Bliss’ sunset flip. They all slug it out from their knees with Bayley getting the better of it, including ducking a shot so Bliss hits James. The Bayley to Belly gets two on Bliss with Mickie making the save. Mickie and Bayley fight on the floor but the distraction lets Bliss DDT Bayley for the pin at 9:09.

    We recap the opening segment.

    Mahal is cleared to compete...so Reigns spears him through a wall.

    Post break, Angle says the match must go on.

    Finn Balor/Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre/Dolph Ziggler

    Ziggler and Balor start things off with a basement dropkick putting Dolph down. McIntyre comes in and wants to face Strowman, who comes in for what could be a heck of a showdown. But of course he tags straight back out to Ziggler and we take a break. Back with Balor knocking Ziggler to the floor but getting tripped by McIntyre. A neckbreaker sets up a chinlock before it’s back to McIntyre for a hard knee to the ribs.

    Finn gets over for the tag to Strowman so house can be cleaned, including the heavy forearm to Ziggler’s chest. A very hard charge sends Strowman shoulder first into the post so Balor tags himself back in. There’s a Sling Blade to set up the Shotgun dropkick, allowing Finn to go up top. McIntyre breaks it up so Strowman runs him over, leaving Ziggler to pull Balor down for the pin at 12:27.

    We see the Jax/Rousey segment again. I’m hoping this is some NBC mandate.

    Angle is on the phone with Stephanie and has a replacement for Jinder. Someone has called her though and now they’re getting another opportunity.

    Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Elias vs. Bobby Lashley vs. ???

    It’s Owens of course and he helps pound Lashley down it the corner. Lashley gets tossed and we take an early break. Back with Owens sending Lashley into the steps and dropping a backsplash on Elias for two. Lashley is back up as the fans chant for Bobby’s sisters. Elias sends Lashley outside and let’s stop for a song! He even has someone holding his mic while he plays the guitar but has to stop to knee Owens in the face.

    Back in and Owens breaks up the vertical suplex on Elias so Lashley suplexes both of them at once. The fans still want to Walk With Elias and a sitout powerbomb to Owens has them rather pleased. Lashley makes a save and plants Elias but here’s Sami to pull him to the floor. Back inside, the frog splash ends Elias to send Owens on at 13:12.

    Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens – Stomp
    Bobby Roode b. Baron Corbin and No Way Jose – Glorious DDT to Jose
    B Team b. Breezango – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination to Fandango
    Sasha Banks/Natalya/Ember Moon b. Riott Squad – Sharpshooter to Morgan
    Bray Wyatt/Matt Hardy b. Revival – Kiss of Deletion to Dawson
    Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James and Bayley – DDT to Bayley
    Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman – Slam off the top to Balor
    Kevin Owens b. Bobby Lashley and Elias – Frog splash to Elias


    Date: May 15, 2018
    Location: 02 Arena, London, England
    Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

    It’s the second night in London and this time around...it’s still mainly about Money in the Bank. Tonight will see more qualifying matches, but more importantly we’ll be getting AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura, with the winner getting to pick the stipulation for their title match at Money in the Bank. Let’s get to it.

    We get a quick recap of Styles vs. Nakamura.

    Here’s Daniel Bryan for a chat with Renee Young to get things going. She can barely get her questions in though as the DANIEL BRYAN chants are a bit too loud. After they die down a bit, Bryan talks about how he lost last week and no one likes losing. He’s back and willing to scratch and claw his way to the top because he wants to be WWE Champion. Cue Big Cass to mock Bryan, saying that he was Bryan’s first major setback since his return to WWE. Yeah he tapped out at Backlash, but only so he could get out of the hold to keep beating on Bryan even more.

    Cass takes credit for Bryan’s loss to Rusev last week and says Bryan will never be able to do anything without a seven foot shadow following him. He gets in the ring so Bryan goes straight for the knee with a series of kicks before wrapping it around the post. Referees come out but but can’t stop Bryan from hitting a chop block and slapping on a heel hook. Good segment, now get Bryan on from Cass.

    Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: New Day vs. The Bar

    Miz is no commentary and the winning team gets to pick one member to enter the ladder match. Woods goes nuts to start and scores with a dive on Sheamus, followed by a Disaster Kick on Cesaro. Some double teaming takes him down though and it’s off to a break. Back with Woods in trouble as Sheamus knees him in the face to give Cesaro two. Woods sends Cesaro to the apron though and the hot tag brings in Big E. for some suplexes. Well some dancing too but at least it’s followed by the Warrior Splash...to Sheamus’ knees. So much for the dancing offense.

    A double DDT gets two on Big E. and Cesaro grabs a Sharpshooter. Woods comes in for the save and gets in his own DDT for two. A wheelbarrow faceplant slams Cesaro into the mat so Sheamus comes in for a save this time around. Big E. spears Sheamus through the ropes, leaving Woods to drop the elbow for the pin on Cesaro at 9:25.

    The Bludgeon Brothers look at various teams and say friendship is a disease. They’re waiting.

    Paige is on the phone with Carmella and says she can’t have a horse drawn carriage entrance. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville come in and say Mandy is going to Money in the Bank. Paige says not so fast because tonight, she can have a qualifying match. That’s not cool with Sonya, who wants one too. Paige gives them both a match against Becky Lynch, which makes them think it’s a handicap match because they’re not that bright. Paige spells it out for them and they seem a bit nervous.

    AJ Styles is thinking about a pole on a pole match. Or maybe a bullrope inferno Hell in a Cell match. Renee: “That’s the one where the referees dress up as Elvis right?” AJ: “...No. That’s a step too far Renee.” Nakamura may not remember English but AJ knows the international language of forearm to face.

    Andrade Cien Almas vs. Jake Constantino

    Must be Rico’s cousin. Jake gets in an armdrag before being knocked into the corner for the running knees. The hammerlock DDT ends Constantino at 1:19.

    Post match Vega says she isn’t impressed because they’re here to take over.

    Rusev Day are in the back to insult London. Aiden English has a new song for when Rusev wins Money in the Bank but Lana comes in to says she’s in a qualifying match next week too. They’ll dominate Smackdown on Rusev Day. The tension between Lana and English was gone here, almost to the level of Lana’s accent being gone.

    It’s time for the Royal Mellabration and she has a town crier to introduce her. Some beef eaters bring out the title and here’s Carmella to come to the ring where there’s a big leopard print pillow for the title. Carmella orders them to cheer for her but then complains about the silence. These people will cheer for a baby outside of a hospital and now they won’t give her the same treatment? She’s champion so she’s better than everyone else and lists off a bunch of names beneath her. Cue Paige to announce Carmella vs. Asuka at Money in the Bank. Asuka comes out and Carmella panics as she leaves.

    Nakamura can’t understand Renee’s questions. He’ll win tonight.

    Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Becky Lynch vs. Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

    Mandy lets the other two fight and then jumps Becky from behind. A rollup gets two on Sonya and the argument takes us to a break. Back with Sonya hammering on Becky but a Bexploder gets her out of trouble. Mandy tries to steal the pin and gets thrown down by Sonya, who sends her to the floor.

    Becky gets the better of a slugout and goes up, leaving Mandy to put Sonya in an electric chair. A missile dropkick to Mandy brings them both down but Sonya breaks up the Disarm-Her. Sonya gets kicked down again though and the Disarm-Her makes Mandy tap at 8:00 to send Becky to Money in the Bank.

    Samoa Joe doesn’t like Big Cass targeting people smaller than him so he’ll target Cass next week in their qualifying match. He doesn’t care how big Cass is because he can be put to sleep.

    The Iconics play a word association game and say Billie will beat Lana next week in the qualifying match.

    AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

    Non-title with the winner getting to pick next week’s stipulation. The battle over a wristlock doesn’t go anywhere so AJ dropkicks him down to pick up the pace a bit. A slingshot forearm to the floor has Nakamura in more trouble but he posts AJ for a breather. Back from a break with Nakamura kicking AJ against the ropes and choking in the corner. Good Vibrations sets up a running kick to AJ’s face and we hit a dragon sleeper.

    AJ fights out and puts Nakamura on top for a Pele. The running seated forearm drops Nakamura again and AJ nips up as the pace quickens. The belly to back faceplant gets two but a spinning kick to the face rocks Styles. Nakamura gets two off the Landslide (Samoan driver) but misses the running knee in the corner.

    He’s fine enough to break up a springboard though and a kick to the ribs sends AJ to the apron. Kinshasa misses but AJ can’t get the Calf Crusher. The sliding knee gets two but Kinshasa is blocked with a spinwheel kick. The Phenomenal Forearm nearly hits the referee and Nakamura claims a low blow. That’s enough of a distraction to set up Kinshasa for the pin on Styles at 17:30.

    No stipulation is picked to end the show.

    New Day b. The Bar – Top rope elbow to Cesaro
    Andrade Cien Almas b. Jake Constantino – Hammerlock DDT
    Becky Lynch b. Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville – Disarm-Her to Rose
    Shinsuke Nakamura b. AJ Styles – Kinshasa


    Date: May 16, 2018
    Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
    Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson

    We’re a month away from Takeover: Chicago and that means we need a card. If there’s one thing NXT is capable of doing, it’s putting together a card in a hurry. There’s a bunch of stuff already set up and that’s enough to build a show in just a few weeks. If nothing else you can probably set up Gargano vs. Ciampa II. Let’s get to it.

    Opening sequence.

    Johnny Gargano’s music starts but it’s Tommaso Ciampa instead for a swerve. He says that he’s won the war with Gargano because Johnny has been broken and dispatched. Now there is only Ciampa. This brings out Candice LeRae to say that she’s done. She’s done putting up with the man who stood next to her and her husband on their wedding day. All Ciampa has to remember is that Gargano was better than him.

    Ciampa says that Johnny may be better than him, but he’s more of a man than Gargano. That’s why Johnny sent Candice out here to do this for him. Candice talked about their wedding and it made Tommaso wonder how she was marrying Gargano. That earns him a slap to the face and Ciampa walks away. I know NXT is smart enough to not consider turning LeRae, but that’s what it felt like they were planting seeds for here.

    Brandi Lauren vs. Lacey Evans

    Lauren appeared in TNA as Ava Storie. Evans sends her into the corner for a chop and punches her down, setting up a picture perfect middle rope moonsault. A hard right hand (the Woman’s Right) is good for the pin on Lauren at 1:23.

    Post match Kairi Sane runs out and spears Evans, who bails from the threat of an Insane Elbow.

    We look back at Ricochet and Velveteen Dream’s exchange last week.

    Aleister Black says if Ricochet thinks he’s the one and only, come prove it. He’s ready for them both.

    Dakota Kai doesn’t know what’s up with Nikki Cross, who pops up with her own phone like a reporter and asks when Kai will be facing Shayna Baszler. As usual, Cross sounds like a psycho and says fight over and over.

    Velveteen Dream vs. Ricochet

    The fans like both of these guys, even as Ricochet works on an armbar. Dream can’t nip out of a headscissors so they trade headlocks instead. Back up and Dream armdrags him to the floor but Ricochet slides in for an enziguri. The threat of a dive has Dream sliding back in and landing right in front of Ricochet in the superhero pose. They fight into the corner and here’s Lars Sullivan to jump Ricochet for the DQ at 3:43, though they’ll call it a no contest because he beats Dream up a few seconds later.

    Lars beats them both up and, indeed, it’s announced as a no contest.

    Kona Reeves vs. Raul Mendoza

    Reeves cranks on the arm and runs Raul over before going more aggressive with a bunch of stomping in the corner. A falling middle rope elbow hits Mendoza (ala Ted DiBiase, who Mauro was comparing Reeves to at the time) and it’s off to a cobra clutch, which can’t be a coincidence. Raul breaks out with a jawbreaker and an enziguri but Reeves kicks him out of the air. The Hawaiian Drop puts Raul away at 3:47.

    Ricochet is trying to get into Regal’s office when Dream shows up to do the same. They both want Sullivan and go into the office together.

    Heavy Machinery talked about eating steaks with their mothers on Mother’s Day when they ran into TM61, who make fun of Machinery eating too much. A match is set up for next week. Otis says anyplace anytime, but I think he means at Full Sail and he’s specified a time.

    Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch/Pete Dunne vs. Undisputed Era

    Strong bails from Dunne to start and it’s off to O’Reilly vs. Burch. Danny takes him to the mat without much effort and grabs a headlock. O’Reilly gets him into the corner and it’s time for the rotating villainous knees to the ribs. They start in on the arm but Burch slips out of a fireman’s carry and drags Strong to the corner for the tag to Dunne. It’s time to start cranking on the arm and goes for the fingers, even as everyone else comes in.

    The Brits break all the fingers at once and Undisputed Era bails to the floor...for no break actually. Back in and Dunne gets double teamed to shift control again and NOW Strong is willing to come in and hammer away. Cole drives a knee into the back and O’Reilly comes back in to stay on the arm. Dunne finally flips out of a suplex attempt and it’s off to Lorcan for the fired up comeback. A running Blockbuster puts Cole down and there’s a running flip dive to take the others out.

    Everything breaks down and Burch gets two off a clothesline. Dunne gets sent outside though and it’s a fireman’s carry backbreaker into a running kick to Burch’s chest for two. With everyone else on the floor, Burch snaps off a Crossface on O’Reilly. Everyone else comes back in and Dunne armbars Cole while Lorcan gets a half crab on Strong.

    Roderick kicks Lorcan off and the domino effect finally breaks up the Crossface. Dunne and Cole fall to the floor and the regular teams slug it out inside. O’Reilly hits Cole by mistake though and Lorcan Blockbusters both of them at the same time. A wheelbarrow DDT ends Strong at 11:22.

    Next week: Dream/Ricochet vs. Sullivan in a handicap match.

    The Brits want the belts to end the show.

    Lacey Evans b. Brandi Lauren – Woman’s Right
    Ricochet vs. Velveteen Dream went to a no contest when Lars Sullivan interfered
    Kona Reeves b. Raul Mendoza – Hawaiian Drop
    Danny Burch/Oney Lorcan/Pete Dunne b. Undisputed Era – Wheelbarrow DDT to Strong


    Impact Wrestling
    Date: May 17, 2018
    Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
    Commentator: Josh Matthews

    Last week’s main event wasn’t the most interesting as it left us without many places to go in the World Title scene. Pentagon Jr. easily dispatched Eli Drake and likely only has a rematch with Austin Aries to go. Other than that, it’s hard to say where things are going to go around here. Let’s get to it.

    The opening video looks at the big stories, including Brian Cage’s World Tour, the X attacker and Sami Callihan jumping Don Callis last week.

    Opening sequence.

    Tag Team Titles: DJZ/Andrew Everett vs. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner

    Drake and Steiner are defending. Everett and Drake start things off but DJZ comes in for an early double spinebuster. Steiner gets in a shot to the back though and a neckbreaker drops DJZ. The belly to belly (not butterfly Josh) suplex gets two and it’s back to Drake to drive DJZ into the corner.

    Steiner’s super Samoan drop plants DJZ but not well enough as a kick to the face allows the hot tag to Everett. Everything breaks down and Drake tries the Gravy Train on DJZ but a Codebreaker from Everett sets up a Code Red for a rather creative near fall. Drake breaks up Everett’s springboard but Steiner chairs Drake in the head by mistake. A quick standing shooting star from Everett is good for the pin at 6:22.

    Post break the new champs celebrate and say it’s been a long road for the both of them. They’ve been a team for ONE WEEK. I know that’s not exactly what they were going for but it was a bad line.

    Madison Rayne is here for commentary for the next match.

    Tessa Blanchard vs. Kiera Hogan

    Kiera jumps Tessa right after the bell (nothing wrong with that) and Madison approves. Unfortunately that means Madison was doing commentary, which really isn’t her strong suit. Tessa is right back with a forearm and a hanging Downward Spiral to really take over. The trash talking begins but Kiera comes back with forearms and a step up Fameasser for two. That’s it for Kiera though as a cutter and a hammerlock DDT are enough to give Tessa the pin at 4:06.

    Post match Blanchard stays on Hogan but Madison comes in for the save.

    Earlier today Grado and Katarina accused Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong of being the X attacker. Jacobs threatened Grado with Kong so Katarina set up the match.

    We recap Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards, focusing on Sami’s series of attacks on various people, which drove Eddie over the edge.

    Pentagon Jr. is ready for tonight’s tag team main event because he’s brought the Chocolate Champion (I don’t get it either) El Hijo Del Fantasma.

    Kongo Kong vs. Grado

    Can they just destroy each other? Oh and we’re never getting an explanation for how Grado is allowed back are we? Grado walks away from him to start before his right hands have no effect. A single uppercut drops Grado and a belly to belly gets two. Grado’s punches and Bionic elbow don’t do much but a top rope shoulder puts Kong down for a second. That’s about it though as a hard slam sets up the top rope splash for the pin on Grado at 3:34.

    Post match Katarina bails as Grado gets hit with the steps but Moose comes out to break up another attempt.

    LAX runs into the Cult of Lee, who laughs about Konnan being gone. I’m sure a match is coming.

    Tommy Dreamer tried to talk Eddie out of the street fight but Eddie won’t hear it. This ends when Sami has no blood left.

    Eddie Edwards vs. Sami Callihan

    Street fight from House of Hardcore. Eddie wastes no time and attacks him before the bell, including a kick to the face. A suicide dive knocks Sami into the barricade and there’s something metal to the head. Josh gives us a full history of Sami being all evil until Sami gets in a pipe shot to the ribs. Eddie knocks a spike out of Sami’s hands but a Death Valley Driver on the ramp cuts Eddie off. They head to the ring (which they haven’t been in yet) and Eddie DDTs him on the apron, allowing them to finally get inside.

    A kendo stick duel goes to Eddie as Josh compares this to Dreamer vs. Raven. At least they’re just saying what they’re doing this time. Sami spits in Eddie’s face and goes low, setting up Get Outta Here for two. Two chairs are set up and a Falcon Arrow onto them gives Sami two more in what I thought was the finish. Back up and the Boston Knee Party gives Eddie the pin at 10:10.

    Post match Eddie chokes him with the bat until security comes out for the save. Dreamer comes out to stare at him as I wonder how well an Eddie heel run could go. Just don’t have him join Sami in some nonsensical turn.

    From Destiny World Wrestling in Canada.

    Brian Cage vs. Facade

    Thankfully Josh gives us a quick bio on Facade, which is still more than when Cage beat the Noah World Champion last week. Facade gets thrown around to start and a powerbomb against the post makes things even worse. For some reason the cameras are staying on a wide shot, which isn’t the best look for a wrestling show. Some chops in the corner have Facade in trouble and a swinging full nelson slam gets two. We’re clipped to a pumphandle faceplant getting two on Facade, followed by a sitout Alabama Slam for two. Weapon X is good for the pin at 7:50 shown.

    From No Surrender 2011, Austin Aries beats Brian Kendrick.

    Earlier today, KM praised Fallah Bahh on his weight loss. Next up, hair care. And a tie over bare chest. Bahh tried to hit on Kiera Hogan.

    We recap the night.

    We run down the card for next week and Under Pressure, two weeks from now. Aries will challenge Pentagon Jr. for the World Title in the main event.

    We go to a cemetery where Su Yung and the undead bridesmaids are burying Rosemary. They drop the casket and set it on fire as Yung hisses. Nothing else is said.

    El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. vs. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal

    Sydal and Fantasma start us off in a preview of next week’s title match. A headlock takeover gets Fantasma out of early trouble and it’s a standoff. Fantasma snaps off a hurricanrana and a double tag gives us Aries vs. Pentagon. The champ says CERO MIEDO and gets bopped on the chin. A kick to the ribs cuts Aries off and it’s time to go for the arm, sending Aries to the floor and us to a break.

    Back with Pentagon superkicking Aries from the apron and Fantasma’s suicide dive getting caught on the ropes. Pentagon takes Aries back inside and grabs a chinlock, followed by What’s Up with Pentagon as D-Von and hitting a dropkick instead of a headbutt. A wheelbarrow Codebreaker combination gets two on Sydal but he’s right back up with a jawbreaker/backbreaker combination to both masked guys.

    Aries’ slingshot corkscrew elbow keeps Fantasma in trouble and a top rope ax handle rocks him again. Sydal knees Aries in the face though and the hot tag brings in Pentagon for the Sling Blades. Fantasma’s cutter drops Sydal but Matt hurricanranas him off the top. Pentagon Jr. breaks up the shooting star with a superkick and the Thrill of the Kill gives Fantasma the pin on Sydal at 19:05.

    Andrew Everett/DJZ b. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner – Standing shooting star press to Drake
    Tessa Blanchard b. Kiera Hogan – Hammerlock DDT
    Kongo Kong b. Grado – Top rope splash
    Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Boston Knee Party
    Brian Cage b. Facade – Weapon X
    El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. b. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal – Thrill of the Kill to Sydal







    Quick Results

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    Impact Wrestling
    Andrew Everett/DJZ b. Eli Drake/Scott Steiner – Standing shooting star press to Drake
    Tessa Blanchard b. Kiera Hogan – Hammerlock DDT
    Kongo Kong b. Grado – Top rope splash
    Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Boston Knee Party
    Brian Cage b. Facade – Weapon X
    El Hijo Del Fantasma/Pentagon Jr. b. Austin Aries/Matt Sydal – Thrill of the Kill to Sydal

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