klunderbunker
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As always, quick results are available at the bottom of the page.
Monday
The main thing today other than the TV shows of course would be that there is a new TNA show called ReAction where from what I can tell they do nothing but show clips of Impact. I have no desire to watch the same stuff again so no recap of it.
Impact
Date: April 12, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Tonight: Velvet Skye vs. Angelina Love, Team 3D vs. The Band!
We open with Jarrett in the ring saying he’ll get an answer from Sting. He goes into the rafters and finds Sting. He proceeds to whip that crow ass and shouting for answers. The lights go out and when they come back Sting has a bat. Down goes Jarrett from various shots. Team Hogan makes the save. I guess Hogan himself was too busy.
We go to Team Flair who want to destroy Hulkamania. Yeah I’m stunned too. Roode vs. Hardy and AJ/Wolfe vs. Pope/Abyss later.
Team 3D and Jesse Neal say they just came from Hogan’s office and it’s a New York Street Fight right here in Orlando!
We come back with the match in progress.
Team 3D/Jesse Neal vs. The Band
It’s just a big old random brawl of course with no real flow or anything like that. Hall is in street clothes. I wonder why. I think Waltman is clean shaven now. Apparently the street fight is Team 3D’s trademark. They’re dominating here so expect them to lose. This is total dominance as we’re setting for our second Whazzup.
It’s table time. And here’s Bubba the Love Sponge to give the heels the win as X-Pac hits an X-Factor on Brother Ray through a table. Eric Young runs out with a hockey stick for the save. No reason why he wasn’t in the match but it’s TNA. Young challenges Nash for Lockdown.
Time for a break.
Hogan is waiting on Bischoff. Eric is talking to Flair. This is like a weird romantic comedy minus the comedy.
Shannon Moore vs. Kaz
Remember: Kaz is the #1 contender and Moore is just being a whiny bastard about it. Decent technical sequence to start us off. Wait…aparently there’s a triple threat next month and BOTH guys are number one contenders. This company makes my head hurt. In a funny spot, Kaz gets whipped in and grabs the hair to stop it.
Team 3D vs. Hall/Waltman is made for the PPV. Yep because that’s a match I want to see in a cage. Kaz looks like CM Punk. This is a decent little match if nothing else. And Williams is here to stare at them. Scratch that he’s doing commentary now. This anti-X Division stuff is simply yet effective booking. And we go to a time limit draw. Ok then.
Velvet Skye says tonight isn’t a title match but this Sunday there’s a match with the Beautiful People vs. Tara and Love where if the faces win they win the tag titles but if anyone pins Love they get the Knockouts Title. Why am I surprised by this? The leather and lace match is a twist on a bra and panties match.
Hogan yells at Bischoff about various things. Bischoff says nothing is going on. And here’s Jay Lethal to waste more of out time.
Angelina talks about Velvet. Tara comes in to bitch.
Pope and Abyss like their match tonight.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye
Shockingly, this is a bra and panties match. Or not as Velvet changes it while she’s on the ramp. Apparently Love is going to be handcuffed and spanked instead. Seriously just have them make out instead. Drop the pretenses. After a commercial it’s time for this idiocy.
Love gets blasted with the title belt and it’s now an I Quit match. Hmm so it’s an I Quit match with one person having their hands tied behind their back. Where have I seen this before? Lacey comes out and falls out of her top but Tara makes the save. No handshake though.
And Abyss is attacked by someone we don’t see. Ok then.
Hogan checks on Abyss who was hit by a car. Seriously is it 1999?
Morgan apparently has named Amazing Red his partner.
Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Matt Morgan/Amazing Red
Ok then. Red doesn’t actually get a belt to wear. Back from break and there’s a video apparently of Abyss being run down. My money is on Bischoff. Fans are WAY behind the Guns here. Morgan comes in and of course dominates. Morgan leaves before coming back in. Red gets a Code Red just before Morgan can get the Hellevator. Red gets beaten up and nearly the kick like Hernandez got but the Guns make the save.
Abyss is STILL down in the parking lot. Seriously, how long does it take to fucking pick him up?
We see the surveillance footage. They say it’s clear who it is. No it isn’t. It looked like someone with blonde hair but in various things I’ve read I’ve heard Flair, Styles, Wolfe and Bischoff.
Robert Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
Decent little match but Jeff totally gives up the ending segment by looking up the ramp to see if Storm is coming yet or not. The Swanton wins it. Storm blows a fireball in his face which at least on my TV wasn’t shown. RVD comes out for the save and gets beaten down too.
Highlight video of Anderson vs. Angle. At least they didn’t just reair the ladder match with different commentary.
Pope is worried about Abyss. Lethal is annoying again. Apparently he’s the new partner.
Dog the Bounty Hunter is here.
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero
And here’s Beer Money to beat up Jay Lethal. If it gets him off my TV I’m happy. Hogan blasts Wolfe with a chair so it’s Dinero vs. Styles. Sure why not. This lasts a few moments until Flair gets a belt shot to Pope. Hogan and Flair (shocking I know) stare each other down to end the show.
Results
The Band b. Team 3D/Jesse Neal – X Factor through a table
Kaz vs. Shannon Moore went to a time limit draw
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Amazing Red b. Motor City Machine Guns – Code Red
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode – Swanton Bomb
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero went to a no contest
Raw
Date: April 12, 2010
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: David Hasselhoff
Orton vs. Batista tonight.
The guest host comes out to a huge reaction. Yeah it’s way overdone but he’s a bigger deal in Europe I guess. He sings his own entrance theme. Ok then. The fans like him if nothing else and he’s got a good presence. He makes Swagger vs. Orton for Extreme Rules. Ok then.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Maryse
I’d bet anything on Eve winning the belt here since that always happens in England. Eve misses a moonsault. Eve gets a rollup counter to win the title as I’m right.
We recap Otunga leaving Cena last week.
ShowMiz have something to say. Show thinks they could be a special tag team. Miz says they’re special. Apparently they’re the best team ever. And here’s BRET FREAKING HART. Old school fans never get tired of that. He says he knows of a few better tag teams: the British Bulldogs and the Hart Foundation.
That sounds like a good match. And for those that haven’t seen them, yes they were great matches. The Hart Dynasty is here and want a title match. Scratch that: David Hart-Smith wants a match with Miz and if they win they get the shot at Extreme Rules. Deal. Oh and if he loses, Bret has to declare ShowMiz the greatest team ever.
Miz vs. David Hart-Smith
There’s not much to say here. It’s not a great match and it ends with Show interfering so Miz can hit his finisher for the win. Hart has to make a declaration next week.
We recap Otunga’s Raw again. He’s with Batista and the Animal doesn’t seem to like him. Hoff shows up. This is idiotic. Cena vs. Otunga tonight. Hoff sounds rather intoxicated.
Carlito vs. Evan Bourne
Uh…ok. Odd but ok. It’s very short and the Shooting Star Press ends it.
John Cena vs. David Otunga
Seriously, what are you expecting here? Otunga taps to the STFU.
There’s a Divas triple threat later tonight.
Sheamus vs. HHH at Extreme Rules in a street fight.
Sheamus comes out and talks about how tough he is. Kofi comes out and says there’s a match right now. Kofi at least looks competent here. That’s a major improvement over last week if nothing else. Sheamus hits him in the ribs with a monitor for the DQ. Ok then. He lands a big kick after the match and says that’s what he’s going to do to HHH.
Carlito says he’ll quit if he isn’t traded. Kozlov says he wants competition.
Orton says he’ll beat Batista and Swagger.
Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim vs. Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall
This is a Babewatch match or something. In short, it’s a way to have them in Baywatch swimsuits and make jokes that were stupid in the mid 90s. Santino is the guest referee. They all come out in slow motion. Seriously, do you need a recap here? Nikki gets a small package on I think Rosa for the pin.
BUT WAIT! Santino is choking on his whistle and needs mouth to mouth! It’s Hornswoggle of course so he hits the Tadpole Splash off the top to get the whistle out of Santino’s throat. I lost intelligence due to that.
Batista vs. Randy Orton
They start with your traditional brawl where both guys hit each other a lot. Orton hits his accelerated stomp which makes it somewhat less idiotic. We go to a commercial after Orton’s shoulder hits the post. This is your standard main event fight but it’s pretty good so far. We hit the floor for awhile but Batista can’t put him through the announce table.
Orton goes off and hooks the elevated DDT. Batista gets up and catches him with that epic spinebuster. He does his rope shaking thing and walks into the RKO! Cover but Swagger hits the ring and beats the hell out of Orton. It’s Cena for the save though. He locks on the STFU and Batista is out. Cena counts to ten himself and we go off the air.
Results
Eve Torres b. Maryse – Rollup – NEW Diva’s Champion
Miz b. David Hart-Smith – Skull Crushing Finale
Evan Bourne b. Carlito – Shooting Star Press
John Cena b. David Otunga – STFU
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Disqualification
Bella Twins b. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim and Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall – Small Package
Randy Orton b. Batista – DQ – Swagger interference
In other news, Smackdown is moving to a new network, in this case Syfy sometime this fall.
Tuesday
NXT will be leaving SyFy in October. Not sure if that means it is over or if it is just moving, but it won’t be the same either way.
Ratings for this week:
Impact - .8
Raw – 3.2
NXT
Date: April 13, 2010
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
We open with a recap of last week’s show and primarily the keg run. Slater got beaten up badly by Kane last week. We have four weeks before the next pole and the first cut. I’m actually looking forward to that. That surprises me if nothing else. The theme song is growing on me. That can’t be a good sign. Screw it it’s a catchy song.
The Rookies come out in order starting with last.
Darren Young
Michael Tarver
Skip Sheffield
David Otunga
Heath Slater
Justin Gabriel
Wade Barrett
Daniel Bryan
The ropes are yellow. Well that’s different. Tarver says he’s the pressure and whether he wins or loses he will not lose. Yeah it’s a stupid line. Otunga gets some decent heat. He talks about fighting the WWE Champion and that makes him more awesome than they are.
Gabriel says something about the Royal Rumble. Yeah that was odd. He says maybe he could do better against Cena. I like that modesty there. Apparently we’re getting a promo contest. The crowd will act as judge. Yeah that’s REALLY fair. The prize tonight is your own entrance theme. That’s….actually a very cool idea. Everyone gets a topic and everyone has to give a 30 second speech. Fair enough. Remember: This is NOT a popularity contest.
Bryan goes first. His topic: Passion. Shame it’s not honor. He talks about the Daniel Bryan Manliness Meter. Striker gets booed for interrupting him. Apparently passion is an 8 on the Manliness Meter and HE LOVES ENGLAND!
Wade, getting a decent pop, is second and his topic is blasé. No literally that’s what Striker says. He isn’t blasé apparently and he’s better than them all. This wasn’t awful. Not exactly good buWadt not bad I guess.
Gabriel’s topic is flowers. Flowers? Well ok then. South Africa gets booed. He doesn’t like flowers. Ok to be fair this is a REALLY odd topic. Yeah that was bad.
Slater’s topic is cereal. He starts off energetic if nothing else and gets booed. He asks what kind of topic is cereal. He’s totally right.
Otunga is 6th with the topic of sleep. Seriously, passion, blasé, cereal and sleep? What in the hell is going on here? He doesn’t sleep apparently and can sleep when it’s over. Yeah this was bad.
Sheffield gets rainbows. Oh how I hate this segment. He doesn’t talk about them at all and plays to the crowd. Smart I guess.
Tarver is 7th. Please go fast. He gets itchy. Is that a character or something? He has a….something over his mouth which about halfway through he pulls down. The fans chant something which Cole says means “Who Are You?” Tarver literally says nothing.
Young gets toothpaste. Let the English stereotypes begin. Yep I was right. He asks if that’s PG. IWC explodes in 3…2...1. This was bad. Tarver grabs the mic and says nothing of note.
We go to the crowd response and Sheffield gets a POP. It’s him and Barrett in a tie so we have a talk off with thirty seconds each to talk about bubblegum. Sheffield says he was robbed last week after listing some brands. Yeah this isn’t rigged at all. Barrett Oh ok Barrett gets his own subject, which is wind. He talks about the winds of change which he is. That’s actually very nice. Yeah of course Barrett wins.
Christian vs. Barrett later.
We recap Raw. Ok then. Should be noted we’re 25 minutes into the show at this point.
We go over the Extreme Rules card to waste more time. Ok I get that the show is more or less dead in SIX MONTHS but this is ridiculous.
Now we recap Young/Punk from Friday. At least that resembles something to do with the show. But of course it’s about Rey and Punk instead. Why am I surprised?
Young appeals to Punk for another chance. Gallows vs. Young later. Gallows gets a nice joke in by calling Young a Punk. Punk’s reaction cracked me up, but I love Punk. If Young loses his head is shaved.
Let’s head to commercial at 10:30 with NO MATCHES YET.
Wade Barrett vs. Christian
Barrett – 4-3
Barrett gets no intro. Did he just stand there the whole time? Jericho running around on the floor is always amusing. Crowd is DEAD. Christian hits his springboard plancha to the floor as we hit a commercial. Back with Jericho yelling at Christian. Must be mad still about Mania 20. Carlito and Tarver are watching. Wow those two are pitiful. Christian hits a jumping back elbow from the middle rope, proving that he’s awesome. Slater cheats to save Christian so the Killswitch ends it.
We get a clip of David Otunga on Access Hollywood. That’s kind of cool. This humanized Otunga a bit which is good.
Miz is here and blasts Daniel Bryan. That match is going to be huge since they’re keeping Miz hot on Raw. Miz overacting here is hilarious.
Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal
Bryan – 0-7
Naturally Regal gets an EPIC pop. Ok not so epic but good. Sheffield is with him and Miz is here too. We get a Joey Styles reference. Ok then. Every smark in the world is orgasming at the moment. Bryan hooks his guillotine -and Regal gets a nice counter into a suplex. A Knee Trembler ends it very quickly. Post match Miz jumps Regal and beats down Bryan.
Ok, it’s 10:56 and we have Gallows vs. Young left. So of course we hit a commercial!
Darren Young vs. Luke Gallows
Young – 4-2
Gallows’ music is kind of bad ass. I don’t see any chance Young loses here. Gallows is of course dominating here. Matt Hardy and Gabriel are in the back scouting. And Young gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin to go to 5-2. The fans chant for Punk as he raises Young’s hand and glares at Gallows.
Results
Wade Barrett wins a talk off to get his own theme song.
Christian b. Wade Barrett - Killswitch
William Regal b. Daniel Bryan – Knee Trembler
Darren Young b. Luke Gallows - Rollup
Wednesday
In a sad note, Canada’s Greatest Athlete, Gene Kiniski passed away today at the age of 81. He was awesome.
NXT’s rating was a 1.0.
Thursday
So apparently Jim Cornette sent an e-mail to Terry Taylor saying he wanted to murder Vince Russo. TNA lawyers sent him a letter saying to chill or he’s get charges brought against him or something. You can’t make this stuff up.
Friday
So apparently due to a volcano going off in Iceland, we’re not sure if the guys are going to be able to get home for the shows this week. There have been some very funny stories about how awful the traveling has been so far and things are looking bad actually.
Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2010
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
Jericho opens things up by saying how unfair it is that Orton gets a title shot when he’s not on this show. Jericho is definitely showing personality more lately which is a great thing as he needs to lighten up a bit. I still want a Jericho face title reign. He wants Teddy Long to resign. Well since Long has been GM for like EVER that’s not happening.
Edge is here too. He says Jericho doesn’t deserve anything but Edge does. Edge really doesn’t have anything to say here. He got his shot and lost at Mania. And here’s Long. What the hell is a mack militant anyway? Apparently Jericho gets a rematch tonight. Ok then. And it’s a triple threat match. Did you expect anything else?
Back from commercial and Drew McIntyre is here with his amazing entrance. Apparently he’s fighting here.
Drew McIntyre vs. Kane
Drew wonders why the people don’t like him. I wonder if Kane jobs here. Kane beat Drew at one point but it was expunged from his record. We actually get a reference to Kane’s house burning down. Apparently the glove he wears is the last remnant of his childhood. Ok sure why not?
Drew tries to leave but Matt is here to throw him back in. For the first time ever, that’s a DQ. So in other words, Matt will likely get the IC Title out of this even though Kane gets the win. Both guys get chokeslams for their troubles.
Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
Before the match Dolph, who has a very clear voice, apologizes to Josh “sincerely”. Truth’s entrance is cool at least. Truth thinks Ziggler wasn’t sincere. No really, you think??? I still don’t see the massive appeal of Ziggler. I will give them credit for pushing a move like the sleeper though. Ziggler gets the worst looking sleeper that I’ve ever seen for awhile before finally getting it on at a passable level and that’s it. Wow a clean win. I’m surprised.
Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool
Damn it Michelle stop the pony tail. Striker, stop with the stupid names. They’re not amusing anymore. They try to say Michelle is better than Trish or Lita. That’s very amusing. I still wonder what the point of Vickie is in this team. Michelle uses her legs for the most part which is the best way to go when they’re that long I guess. Mickie this the Thesz Press off the railing which is a cool looking spot if nothing else.
There’s your interference and it allows a big boot to the head of Mickie for the pin. Post match Michelle goes for a beatdown but Beth makes the save and almost chases them through the crowd. That showdown is going to be rather stupid. Damn Vickie ruins that visual completely.
Gallows says he can beat Young and shave his head. Can we give Punk and Gallows a win of some kind? Punk comes in and says they fight in the ring, not in the back.
CM Punk/Luke Gallows/Darren Young vs. Hardy Dynasty/Rey Mysterio
So Young is competing on a main roster to improve his chances of being on a main roster? Got it. Miz is here on commentary…for no apparent reason. Oh wait they had that interaction on Raw. Never mind. Why do I have a feeling the faces win here? Oh that’s right: because great heel characters like Punk can’t ever win anything. They say Mysterio can pick any team he wants.
That gives him the option of the Hart Dynasty or….somebody help me out here! This is really about Miz more than anything else which is…odd but whatever. Punk and Rey are getting the most ring time which is good as they’re the best workers but at the same time the same time they’re keeping the four that need the ring time out of there. Back from commercial and it’s Rey and Young in there instead.
It’s so cool seeing how the table is more or less covered by Miz’s titles. That’s just awesome. Punk and Kidd are in there now which is an interesting pairing if nothing else. Punk kicks Hart-Smith’s head off but it gets two. And then the fucking 619 sets up the powerslam for the pin on Punk. Damn it Vince, STOP JOBBING PUNK OUT!!!
Jericho says he wants to be world champion again. Barrett agrees. Riveting television there.
Caylen Croft vs. JTG
Wow all of a sudden I really don’t like JTG. I didn’t like him before but now I really don’t like him. I think it’s because it means we will likely have to put up with Shad vs. JTG in the feud that no one wants to see at all. And yep there’s Shad. JTG’s offense is the kind where there are far more flips and twists than there need to be as they do little to make the moves better.
After winning with a spinning neckbreaker, Shad of course runs in and beats him down. I really hate this feud or lack thereof. JTG fights back. Just end it on Superstars. Or maybe in a parking lot in the south Bronx at 3am. The homeless people there will be more interested than the audience.
Edge says exactly what a face challenger going into a triple threat title match would be expected to say.
We recap Raw because that’s what we do on Smackdown.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho
I really don’t want to watch this as there’s no way the title is changing a week before a PPV, but it’s still cool to hear those words before a match start. They’ve been fighting about ten minutes so far and there’s been nothing of note really. And honestly, why would there be? There is zero chance of anything of note happening.
Granted it could be that I hate triple threats but I couldn’t care less here. Jericho hooks the Walls on Edge. Scratch that and put Swagger in Edge’s place. Grisham wants to know if Edge is three seconds away from his tenth world title. 1. 2. 3. No he isn’t good to know I can help you out Grisham.
Everyone hits their secondary finisher for a two count. Edge gets the Spear but Swagger makes the save. That’s enough to get the pin on Jericho to keep the title. Swagger hits his powerbomb on Edge and leaves. Jericho beats Edge up even more and smashes his ankle to close the show.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Kane via DQ – Matt Hardy interference.
Dolph Ziggler b. R-Truth – Sleeper Hold
Michelle McCool b. Mickie James – Big Boot
Hart Dynasty/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Darren Young/Luke Gallows – Running powerslam
JTG b. Caylen Croft – Spinning Neckbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho and Edge – Edge Spear
Saturday
In an update on the Iceland stuff, the Smackdown guys are out of Europe and will be in America in time for Raw. Unless things change, we’ll have the Smackdown guys and the Raw guys that didn’t make the trip work on Monday so Raw may be a bit odd but something will indeed happen. Better than nothing I guess.
Sunday
So the Raw guys are STILL stranded so it looks like Monday Night Smackdown. Eh with how things have been since Mania and a month or two beforehand, is anyone going to notice?
Lockdown
Apparently Doug Williams isn’t here due to the volcano and Sean Waltman isn’t here due to being a colossal dick. Good to know. There will be a match where the winner gets Williams’ place in the title match. Ok then.
Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm
Both guys are in Lethal Lockdown later so I guess this is a warm up match? Remember that everything is in a cage tonight. The arena looks full and great. Can’t beat that. Isn’t the point of a cage match to be, you know, in the cage? RVD beats Storm up on the floor because he can I guess. He’s busted open when we get into the cage. Cage looks great. Everything looks great actually. Definitely the best crowd and best looking show they’ve put on that I can remember.
It’s ALL Van Dam here so I’d put money on him losing somehow. I love the holes in the cage that can be used to see in. It helps with the camera work tremendously. Split legged moonsault connects but no cover. Ok then. Storm spits beer in Van Dam’s face and hits a DDT for two. Superkick is countered into the Frog Splash (it makes sense in context) for the pin. Nice opener.
Hogan talks about how Team Hogan has been getting beaten down pretty badly lately. He says you don’t run people over with a car. That’s true. You use a Semi Truck Brother! Hogan says that if his team gets destroyed he might leave TNA. Hmm I wonder if that’s foreshadowing.
We get a bonus Xscape match where the winner is in the triple threat later.
Xscape match: Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick
So the idea here is just to get out of the cage first. Ok then I guess that works. It’s a Lockdown staple so that’s fine. I guess the tag match these four were supposed to have isn’t happening which is the best I think. It turns into a total spot fest of course but did you really expect much else? That’s what the X Division is supposed to be though.
Also this is FAR more logical than the tag match would have been. Also this is more logical than a 6 man match which would have been a total clusterfuck. This is rather short with Homicide winning. My stream was messing up here but I saw most of it. Homicide wins after the Gringo Killer. Yeah that’s a great name to use.
Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young
Young has to win here but he won’t because of the Band. Young is wearing some kind of green tights. Ok then. Apparently Hogan has told Hall that he has to get a partner tonight or he goes it 2-1. Ok then. I say that a lot. Nash is dominating for the most part here but Young is getting some stuff in.
That’s fine with me as they’re going with the traditional formula to get to the Young comeback. No problem there. And Nash just hits the powerbomb to completely kill Young’s credibility. This show is a success even if nothing else happens.
We recap the Women’s Title insanity to get us here.
Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love
Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still. Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for.
Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.
Tara destroys Angelina post match, I think turning heel.
Team Flair and mainly Flair talks about how this is Flair country. Flair gets in his first funny line since being in TNA by saying that JB annoys him. That’s hilarious. He’s out of his wheelchair now. I have no problem with him doing the talking for all of them actually. Also he just cuts a promo rather than screaming like a crazy man. AJ says exactly what he would be expected to say.
X Division Title: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore
If Moore wins, this show sucks. They should have just gone with a one on one number one contenders match but I can go with this I guess. No belt here since it’s in Europe I guess. I’d bet on that being used in an angle which would make sense at least. They double team Homicide to start. Apparently they don’t take kindly to qualifiers in these here parts.
Taz points out that he’s a former wrestler. That’s a good thing actually as a lot of people might not know that actually. If you started watching post 2002-03, you’ve likely never seen a Taz match. Homicide hits Eddie’s triple suplex. Scratch that as he doesn’t get through the trio. Homicide hits a SICK double Diamond Cutter off the top but can’t get the pin. Nice spot there. Taz says he opened up a can of Whoop Ass.
He and Tenay laugh like idiots. Ok then. We hit the near fall portion as everyone is making saves. It’s clichéd but it still works incredibly well. Pretty solid stuff so far in here. After a near Gringo Killer, Kaz hooks more or less a reverse piledriver for the pin. He had Homicide on his back and dropped down. That was sweet.
Pope says that AJ isn’t styling at all. Then he talks about a restaurant. Was that good or not? I’m not sure.
Team 3D vs. The Band
It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match to be fair. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked. We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight.
That makes sense at least. If the Waltman thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better. We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.
We recap Anderson vs. Angle which needs to be blown off for good tonight.
Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson
This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.
Anderson accidently leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it. There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good.
Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. That should be a bad porn movie title. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it. He goes for the door but stops. Damn it Kurt don’t be fucking stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too.
Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. If Sly caught that thing I’ll drive to St. Louis and do nothing more than likely. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage. Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it.
Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check. We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out before walking out. GREAT match.
Angle says he’s taking some time off but when he comes back he’s winning the TNA Title.
We recap Pope/AJ, meaning they’re putting Hogan/Flair over the title match. I shake my head at that but the cage match buys them a lot of points.
TNA World Title: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles
Hebner throws Flair out to start. If he stays gone, then sweet. We get the big match intros which it should get. Tenay thinks that Flair being gone helps Pope. You can’t buy commentary like that people! We start off rather well. One good thing about Styles is he can work just about any style you ask him to. Pope can move out there so this is a solid looking match.
Also, this is a good thing as you have two smaller guys with limited muscles in the title picture. That’s a legit alternative to WWE. AJ hits the forearm and the 450 but goes to the top of the cage and misses. Solid match so far. The double knee hits and gets two. AJ reaches through the cage and grabs a pen from the camera guy. Uh, ok. And he jabs Pope in the eye to set up the Styles Clash for the pin.
We cut to the back and Bischoff is JUST GETTING HERE. Was he fly fishing in Iceland or something? Doesn’t say a word.
It’s time for Lethal Lockdown! The rules are just like WarGames but you can win by pin also. No mention of the cage top this time.
Lethal Lockdown
Team Hogan: Abyss, Jeff Hardy, RVD, Jeff Jarrett
Team Flair: Sting, James Storm, Robert Roode, Desmond Wolfe
Apparently Abyss is tougher than Austin. Robert Roode starts for the heels. Remember, if Team Hogan loses then Hogan leaves. In the words of Jeff Hardy’s old music, don’t you see the righting on the wall? Apparently Abyss has a hairline fracture of his hip. Sure why not? These matches are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly clusterfucks for the most part. The faces win the toss based on RVD winning earlier which is STUPID but whatever.
Van Dam is in second. So the faces beat up Roode for awhile because that makes perfect sense right? Van Dam is busted open from the previous match he had tonight. Wolfe is in next. Great to see jobbers getting PPV time. Jarrett comes in to make it 3-2 as I continue to shake my head at the booking of the main event. Storm ties it up. Again, there just isn’t much to talk about in between the periods really. Van Dam is nice and bloody.
We’re down to Sting and Hardy for those keeping score. And there’s no Hardy. Check the stairwells. Yep Sting got to him. And here’s Sting. Ah ok they are doing the roof with weapons thing. That’s a nice touch. Ok so now pins and submissions are legal. It’s a weapons clusterfuck at this point now as you would expect as we kill time before the finish. Jarrett gets knocked to the floor and Beer Money follows them.
And it’s thumbtack time. Abyss takes a beer bottle to the head to stop that though. I’d love to see someone sue for assault of something. What a great heel move that would be. And now it’s time for Hardy. Jarrett gets a guitar shot from the top followed by a 5 Star to Wolfe. Sting gets chokeslammed onto the tacks and Jeff goes up top.
He’s able to beat up both of Beer Money after being hit by a baseball bat. Sure why not. And of course there’s a table on top of the cage. Why not? Jeff climbs a ladder and splashes Storm on top of the cage to….a mild pop. And there’s Flair’s music. Ok then. Damn it here comes Hogan too. Flair is BITING ABYSS’ HAND TO GET THE RING OFF! That is hilarious! Bischoff comes out now and he throws knucks to Hogan who beats up Flair.
And he takes his shirt off to fall onto the tacks. Sure why not. And Abyss gets the pin on Wolfe of course. Why have anyone but the jobber job I guess? The faces pose to end the show and the week.
Results
Rob Van Dam b. James Storm – Five Star Frog Splash
Homicide b. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin and Brian Kendrick – Escaped Cage
Kevin Nash b. Eric Young – Jackknife Powerbomb
Beautiful People b. Tara and Angelina Love – Belt Shot/Rollup
Kazarian b. Homicide and Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
Team 3D b. The Band – 3D
Kurt Angle b. Ken Anderson – Escaped Cage
AJ Styles b. D’Angelo Dinero – Styles Clash
Team Hogan b. Team Flair – Black Hole Slam on Wolfe
Quick Results
Impact
The Band b. Team 3D/Jesse Neal – X Factor through a table
Kaz vs. Shannon Moore went to a time limit draw
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Amazing Red b. Motor City Machine Guns – Code Red
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode – Swanton Bomb
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero went to a no contest
Raw
Eve Torres b. Maryse – Rollup – NEW Diva’s Champion
Miz b. David Hart-Smith – Skull Crushing Finale
Evan Bourne b. Carlito – Shooting Star Press
John Cena b. David Otunga – STFU
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Disqualification
Bella Twins b. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim and Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall – Small Package
Randy Orton b. Batista – DQ – Swagger interference
NXT
Wade Barrett wins a talk off to get his own theme song.
Christian b. Wade Barrett - Killswitch
William Regal b. Daniel Bryan – Knee Trembler
Darren Young b. Luke Gallows – Rollup
Smackdown
Drew McIntyre b. Kane via DQ – Matt Hardy interference.
Dolph Ziggler b. R-Truth – Sleeper Hold
Michelle McCool b. Mickie James – Big Boot
Hart Dynasty/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Darren Young/Luke Gallows – Running powerslam
JTG b. Caylen Croft – Spinning Neckbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho and Edge – Edge Spear
Lockdown
Rob Van Dam b. James Storm – Five Star Frog Splash
Homicide b. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin and Brian Kendrick – Escaped Cage
Kevin Nash b. Eric Young – Jackknife Powerbomb
Beautiful People b. Tara and Angelina Love – Belt Shot/Rollup
Kazarian b. Homicide and Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
Team 3D b. The Band – 3D
Kurt Angle b. Ken Anderson – Escaped Cage
AJ Styles b. D’Angelo Dinero – Styles Clash
Team Hogan b. Team Flair – Black Hole Slam on Wolfe
Monday
The main thing today other than the TV shows of course would be that there is a new TNA show called ReAction where from what I can tell they do nothing but show clips of Impact. I have no desire to watch the same stuff again so no recap of it.
Impact
Date: April 12, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Tonight: Velvet Skye vs. Angelina Love, Team 3D vs. The Band!
We open with Jarrett in the ring saying he’ll get an answer from Sting. He goes into the rafters and finds Sting. He proceeds to whip that crow ass and shouting for answers. The lights go out and when they come back Sting has a bat. Down goes Jarrett from various shots. Team Hogan makes the save. I guess Hogan himself was too busy.
We go to Team Flair who want to destroy Hulkamania. Yeah I’m stunned too. Roode vs. Hardy and AJ/Wolfe vs. Pope/Abyss later.
Team 3D and Jesse Neal say they just came from Hogan’s office and it’s a New York Street Fight right here in Orlando!
We come back with the match in progress.
Team 3D/Jesse Neal vs. The Band
It’s just a big old random brawl of course with no real flow or anything like that. Hall is in street clothes. I wonder why. I think Waltman is clean shaven now. Apparently the street fight is Team 3D’s trademark. They’re dominating here so expect them to lose. This is total dominance as we’re setting for our second Whazzup.
It’s table time. And here’s Bubba the Love Sponge to give the heels the win as X-Pac hits an X-Factor on Brother Ray through a table. Eric Young runs out with a hockey stick for the save. No reason why he wasn’t in the match but it’s TNA. Young challenges Nash for Lockdown.
Time for a break.
Hogan is waiting on Bischoff. Eric is talking to Flair. This is like a weird romantic comedy minus the comedy.
Shannon Moore vs. Kaz
Remember: Kaz is the #1 contender and Moore is just being a whiny bastard about it. Decent technical sequence to start us off. Wait…aparently there’s a triple threat next month and BOTH guys are number one contenders. This company makes my head hurt. In a funny spot, Kaz gets whipped in and grabs the hair to stop it.
Team 3D vs. Hall/Waltman is made for the PPV. Yep because that’s a match I want to see in a cage. Kaz looks like CM Punk. This is a decent little match if nothing else. And Williams is here to stare at them. Scratch that he’s doing commentary now. This anti-X Division stuff is simply yet effective booking. And we go to a time limit draw. Ok then.
Velvet Skye says tonight isn’t a title match but this Sunday there’s a match with the Beautiful People vs. Tara and Love where if the faces win they win the tag titles but if anyone pins Love they get the Knockouts Title. Why am I surprised by this? The leather and lace match is a twist on a bra and panties match.
Hogan yells at Bischoff about various things. Bischoff says nothing is going on. And here’s Jay Lethal to waste more of out time.
Angelina talks about Velvet. Tara comes in to bitch.
Pope and Abyss like their match tonight.
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye
Shockingly, this is a bra and panties match. Or not as Velvet changes it while she’s on the ramp. Apparently Love is going to be handcuffed and spanked instead. Seriously just have them make out instead. Drop the pretenses. After a commercial it’s time for this idiocy.
Love gets blasted with the title belt and it’s now an I Quit match. Hmm so it’s an I Quit match with one person having their hands tied behind their back. Where have I seen this before? Lacey comes out and falls out of her top but Tara makes the save. No handshake though.
And Abyss is attacked by someone we don’t see. Ok then.
Hogan checks on Abyss who was hit by a car. Seriously is it 1999?
Morgan apparently has named Amazing Red his partner.
Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Matt Morgan/Amazing Red
Ok then. Red doesn’t actually get a belt to wear. Back from break and there’s a video apparently of Abyss being run down. My money is on Bischoff. Fans are WAY behind the Guns here. Morgan comes in and of course dominates. Morgan leaves before coming back in. Red gets a Code Red just before Morgan can get the Hellevator. Red gets beaten up and nearly the kick like Hernandez got but the Guns make the save.
Abyss is STILL down in the parking lot. Seriously, how long does it take to fucking pick him up?
We see the surveillance footage. They say it’s clear who it is. No it isn’t. It looked like someone with blonde hair but in various things I’ve read I’ve heard Flair, Styles, Wolfe and Bischoff.
Robert Roode vs. Jeff Hardy
Decent little match but Jeff totally gives up the ending segment by looking up the ramp to see if Storm is coming yet or not. The Swanton wins it. Storm blows a fireball in his face which at least on my TV wasn’t shown. RVD comes out for the save and gets beaten down too.
Highlight video of Anderson vs. Angle. At least they didn’t just reair the ladder match with different commentary.
Pope is worried about Abyss. Lethal is annoying again. Apparently he’s the new partner.
Dog the Bounty Hunter is here.
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero
And here’s Beer Money to beat up Jay Lethal. If it gets him off my TV I’m happy. Hogan blasts Wolfe with a chair so it’s Dinero vs. Styles. Sure why not. This lasts a few moments until Flair gets a belt shot to Pope. Hogan and Flair (shocking I know) stare each other down to end the show.
Results
The Band b. Team 3D/Jesse Neal – X Factor through a table
Kaz vs. Shannon Moore went to a time limit draw
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Amazing Red b. Motor City Machine Guns – Code Red
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode – Swanton Bomb
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero went to a no contest
Raw
Date: April 12, 2010
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Host: David Hasselhoff
Orton vs. Batista tonight.
The guest host comes out to a huge reaction. Yeah it’s way overdone but he’s a bigger deal in Europe I guess. He sings his own entrance theme. Ok then. The fans like him if nothing else and he’s got a good presence. He makes Swagger vs. Orton for Extreme Rules. Ok then.
Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Maryse
I’d bet anything on Eve winning the belt here since that always happens in England. Eve misses a moonsault. Eve gets a rollup counter to win the title as I’m right.
We recap Otunga leaving Cena last week.
ShowMiz have something to say. Show thinks they could be a special tag team. Miz says they’re special. Apparently they’re the best team ever. And here’s BRET FREAKING HART. Old school fans never get tired of that. He says he knows of a few better tag teams: the British Bulldogs and the Hart Foundation.
That sounds like a good match. And for those that haven’t seen them, yes they were great matches. The Hart Dynasty is here and want a title match. Scratch that: David Hart-Smith wants a match with Miz and if they win they get the shot at Extreme Rules. Deal. Oh and if he loses, Bret has to declare ShowMiz the greatest team ever.
Miz vs. David Hart-Smith
There’s not much to say here. It’s not a great match and it ends with Show interfering so Miz can hit his finisher for the win. Hart has to make a declaration next week.
We recap Otunga’s Raw again. He’s with Batista and the Animal doesn’t seem to like him. Hoff shows up. This is idiotic. Cena vs. Otunga tonight. Hoff sounds rather intoxicated.
Carlito vs. Evan Bourne
Uh…ok. Odd but ok. It’s very short and the Shooting Star Press ends it.
John Cena vs. David Otunga
Seriously, what are you expecting here? Otunga taps to the STFU.
There’s a Divas triple threat later tonight.
Sheamus vs. HHH at Extreme Rules in a street fight.
Sheamus comes out and talks about how tough he is. Kofi comes out and says there’s a match right now. Kofi at least looks competent here. That’s a major improvement over last week if nothing else. Sheamus hits him in the ribs with a monitor for the DQ. Ok then. He lands a big kick after the match and says that’s what he’s going to do to HHH.
Carlito says he’ll quit if he isn’t traded. Kozlov says he wants competition.
Orton says he’ll beat Batista and Swagger.
Bella Twins vs. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim vs. Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall
This is a Babewatch match or something. In short, it’s a way to have them in Baywatch swimsuits and make jokes that were stupid in the mid 90s. Santino is the guest referee. They all come out in slow motion. Seriously, do you need a recap here? Nikki gets a small package on I think Rosa for the pin.
BUT WAIT! Santino is choking on his whistle and needs mouth to mouth! It’s Hornswoggle of course so he hits the Tadpole Splash off the top to get the whistle out of Santino’s throat. I lost intelligence due to that.
Batista vs. Randy Orton
They start with your traditional brawl where both guys hit each other a lot. Orton hits his accelerated stomp which makes it somewhat less idiotic. We go to a commercial after Orton’s shoulder hits the post. This is your standard main event fight but it’s pretty good so far. We hit the floor for awhile but Batista can’t put him through the announce table.
Orton goes off and hooks the elevated DDT. Batista gets up and catches him with that epic spinebuster. He does his rope shaking thing and walks into the RKO! Cover but Swagger hits the ring and beats the hell out of Orton. It’s Cena for the save though. He locks on the STFU and Batista is out. Cena counts to ten himself and we go off the air.
Results
Eve Torres b. Maryse – Rollup – NEW Diva’s Champion
Miz b. David Hart-Smith – Skull Crushing Finale
Evan Bourne b. Carlito – Shooting Star Press
John Cena b. David Otunga – STFU
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Disqualification
Bella Twins b. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim and Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall – Small Package
Randy Orton b. Batista – DQ – Swagger interference
In other news, Smackdown is moving to a new network, in this case Syfy sometime this fall.
Tuesday
NXT will be leaving SyFy in October. Not sure if that means it is over or if it is just moving, but it won’t be the same either way.
Ratings for this week:
Impact - .8
Raw – 3.2
NXT
Date: April 13, 2010
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews
We open with a recap of last week’s show and primarily the keg run. Slater got beaten up badly by Kane last week. We have four weeks before the next pole and the first cut. I’m actually looking forward to that. That surprises me if nothing else. The theme song is growing on me. That can’t be a good sign. Screw it it’s a catchy song.
The Rookies come out in order starting with last.
Darren Young
Michael Tarver
Skip Sheffield
David Otunga
Heath Slater
Justin Gabriel
Wade Barrett
Daniel Bryan
The ropes are yellow. Well that’s different. Tarver says he’s the pressure and whether he wins or loses he will not lose. Yeah it’s a stupid line. Otunga gets some decent heat. He talks about fighting the WWE Champion and that makes him more awesome than they are.
Gabriel says something about the Royal Rumble. Yeah that was odd. He says maybe he could do better against Cena. I like that modesty there. Apparently we’re getting a promo contest. The crowd will act as judge. Yeah that’s REALLY fair. The prize tonight is your own entrance theme. That’s….actually a very cool idea. Everyone gets a topic and everyone has to give a 30 second speech. Fair enough. Remember: This is NOT a popularity contest.
Bryan goes first. His topic: Passion. Shame it’s not honor. He talks about the Daniel Bryan Manliness Meter. Striker gets booed for interrupting him. Apparently passion is an 8 on the Manliness Meter and HE LOVES ENGLAND!
Wade, getting a decent pop, is second and his topic is blasé. No literally that’s what Striker says. He isn’t blasé apparently and he’s better than them all. This wasn’t awful. Not exactly good buWadt not bad I guess.
Gabriel’s topic is flowers. Flowers? Well ok then. South Africa gets booed. He doesn’t like flowers. Ok to be fair this is a REALLY odd topic. Yeah that was bad.
Slater’s topic is cereal. He starts off energetic if nothing else and gets booed. He asks what kind of topic is cereal. He’s totally right.
Otunga is 6th with the topic of sleep. Seriously, passion, blasé, cereal and sleep? What in the hell is going on here? He doesn’t sleep apparently and can sleep when it’s over. Yeah this was bad.
Sheffield gets rainbows. Oh how I hate this segment. He doesn’t talk about them at all and plays to the crowd. Smart I guess.
Tarver is 7th. Please go fast. He gets itchy. Is that a character or something? He has a….something over his mouth which about halfway through he pulls down. The fans chant something which Cole says means “Who Are You?” Tarver literally says nothing.
Young gets toothpaste. Let the English stereotypes begin. Yep I was right. He asks if that’s PG. IWC explodes in 3…2...1. This was bad. Tarver grabs the mic and says nothing of note.
We go to the crowd response and Sheffield gets a POP. It’s him and Barrett in a tie so we have a talk off with thirty seconds each to talk about bubblegum. Sheffield says he was robbed last week after listing some brands. Yeah this isn’t rigged at all. Barrett Oh ok Barrett gets his own subject, which is wind. He talks about the winds of change which he is. That’s actually very nice. Yeah of course Barrett wins.
Christian vs. Barrett later.
We recap Raw. Ok then. Should be noted we’re 25 minutes into the show at this point.
We go over the Extreme Rules card to waste more time. Ok I get that the show is more or less dead in SIX MONTHS but this is ridiculous.
Now we recap Young/Punk from Friday. At least that resembles something to do with the show. But of course it’s about Rey and Punk instead. Why am I surprised?
Young appeals to Punk for another chance. Gallows vs. Young later. Gallows gets a nice joke in by calling Young a Punk. Punk’s reaction cracked me up, but I love Punk. If Young loses his head is shaved.
Let’s head to commercial at 10:30 with NO MATCHES YET.
Wade Barrett vs. Christian
Barrett – 4-3
Barrett gets no intro. Did he just stand there the whole time? Jericho running around on the floor is always amusing. Crowd is DEAD. Christian hits his springboard plancha to the floor as we hit a commercial. Back with Jericho yelling at Christian. Must be mad still about Mania 20. Carlito and Tarver are watching. Wow those two are pitiful. Christian hits a jumping back elbow from the middle rope, proving that he’s awesome. Slater cheats to save Christian so the Killswitch ends it.
We get a clip of David Otunga on Access Hollywood. That’s kind of cool. This humanized Otunga a bit which is good.
Miz is here and blasts Daniel Bryan. That match is going to be huge since they’re keeping Miz hot on Raw. Miz overacting here is hilarious.
Daniel Bryan vs. William Regal
Bryan – 0-7
Naturally Regal gets an EPIC pop. Ok not so epic but good. Sheffield is with him and Miz is here too. We get a Joey Styles reference. Ok then. Every smark in the world is orgasming at the moment. Bryan hooks his guillotine -and Regal gets a nice counter into a suplex. A Knee Trembler ends it very quickly. Post match Miz jumps Regal and beats down Bryan.
Ok, it’s 10:56 and we have Gallows vs. Young left. So of course we hit a commercial!
Darren Young vs. Luke Gallows
Young – 4-2
Gallows’ music is kind of bad ass. I don’t see any chance Young loses here. Gallows is of course dominating here. Matt Hardy and Gabriel are in the back scouting. And Young gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin to go to 5-2. The fans chant for Punk as he raises Young’s hand and glares at Gallows.
Results
Wade Barrett wins a talk off to get his own theme song.
Christian b. Wade Barrett - Killswitch
William Regal b. Daniel Bryan – Knee Trembler
Darren Young b. Luke Gallows - Rollup
Wednesday
In a sad note, Canada’s Greatest Athlete, Gene Kiniski passed away today at the age of 81. He was awesome.
NXT’s rating was a 1.0.
Thursday
So apparently Jim Cornette sent an e-mail to Terry Taylor saying he wanted to murder Vince Russo. TNA lawyers sent him a letter saying to chill or he’s get charges brought against him or something. You can’t make this stuff up.
Friday
So apparently due to a volcano going off in Iceland, we’re not sure if the guys are going to be able to get home for the shows this week. There have been some very funny stories about how awful the traveling has been so far and things are looking bad actually.
Smackdown
Date: April 16, 2010
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Matt Striker, Todd Grisham
Jericho opens things up by saying how unfair it is that Orton gets a title shot when he’s not on this show. Jericho is definitely showing personality more lately which is a great thing as he needs to lighten up a bit. I still want a Jericho face title reign. He wants Teddy Long to resign. Well since Long has been GM for like EVER that’s not happening.
Edge is here too. He says Jericho doesn’t deserve anything but Edge does. Edge really doesn’t have anything to say here. He got his shot and lost at Mania. And here’s Long. What the hell is a mack militant anyway? Apparently Jericho gets a rematch tonight. Ok then. And it’s a triple threat match. Did you expect anything else?
Back from commercial and Drew McIntyre is here with his amazing entrance. Apparently he’s fighting here.
Drew McIntyre vs. Kane
Drew wonders why the people don’t like him. I wonder if Kane jobs here. Kane beat Drew at one point but it was expunged from his record. We actually get a reference to Kane’s house burning down. Apparently the glove he wears is the last remnant of his childhood. Ok sure why not?
Drew tries to leave but Matt is here to throw him back in. For the first time ever, that’s a DQ. So in other words, Matt will likely get the IC Title out of this even though Kane gets the win. Both guys get chokeslams for their troubles.
Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth
Before the match Dolph, who has a very clear voice, apologizes to Josh “sincerely”. Truth’s entrance is cool at least. Truth thinks Ziggler wasn’t sincere. No really, you think??? I still don’t see the massive appeal of Ziggler. I will give them credit for pushing a move like the sleeper though. Ziggler gets the worst looking sleeper that I’ve ever seen for awhile before finally getting it on at a passable level and that’s it. Wow a clean win. I’m surprised.
Mickie James vs. Michelle McCool
Damn it Michelle stop the pony tail. Striker, stop with the stupid names. They’re not amusing anymore. They try to say Michelle is better than Trish or Lita. That’s very amusing. I still wonder what the point of Vickie is in this team. Michelle uses her legs for the most part which is the best way to go when they’re that long I guess. Mickie this the Thesz Press off the railing which is a cool looking spot if nothing else.
There’s your interference and it allows a big boot to the head of Mickie for the pin. Post match Michelle goes for a beatdown but Beth makes the save and almost chases them through the crowd. That showdown is going to be rather stupid. Damn Vickie ruins that visual completely.
Gallows says he can beat Young and shave his head. Can we give Punk and Gallows a win of some kind? Punk comes in and says they fight in the ring, not in the back.
CM Punk/Luke Gallows/Darren Young vs. Hardy Dynasty/Rey Mysterio
So Young is competing on a main roster to improve his chances of being on a main roster? Got it. Miz is here on commentary…for no apparent reason. Oh wait they had that interaction on Raw. Never mind. Why do I have a feeling the faces win here? Oh that’s right: because great heel characters like Punk can’t ever win anything. They say Mysterio can pick any team he wants.
That gives him the option of the Hart Dynasty or….somebody help me out here! This is really about Miz more than anything else which is…odd but whatever. Punk and Rey are getting the most ring time which is good as they’re the best workers but at the same time the same time they’re keeping the four that need the ring time out of there. Back from commercial and it’s Rey and Young in there instead.
It’s so cool seeing how the table is more or less covered by Miz’s titles. That’s just awesome. Punk and Kidd are in there now which is an interesting pairing if nothing else. Punk kicks Hart-Smith’s head off but it gets two. And then the fucking 619 sets up the powerslam for the pin on Punk. Damn it Vince, STOP JOBBING PUNK OUT!!!
Jericho says he wants to be world champion again. Barrett agrees. Riveting television there.
Caylen Croft vs. JTG
Wow all of a sudden I really don’t like JTG. I didn’t like him before but now I really don’t like him. I think it’s because it means we will likely have to put up with Shad vs. JTG in the feud that no one wants to see at all. And yep there’s Shad. JTG’s offense is the kind where there are far more flips and twists than there need to be as they do little to make the moves better.
After winning with a spinning neckbreaker, Shad of course runs in and beats him down. I really hate this feud or lack thereof. JTG fights back. Just end it on Superstars. Or maybe in a parking lot in the south Bronx at 3am. The homeless people there will be more interested than the audience.
Edge says exactly what a face challenger going into a triple threat title match would be expected to say.
We recap Raw because that’s what we do on Smackdown.
Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Jack Swagger vs. Chris Jericho
I really don’t want to watch this as there’s no way the title is changing a week before a PPV, but it’s still cool to hear those words before a match start. They’ve been fighting about ten minutes so far and there’s been nothing of note really. And honestly, why would there be? There is zero chance of anything of note happening.
Granted it could be that I hate triple threats but I couldn’t care less here. Jericho hooks the Walls on Edge. Scratch that and put Swagger in Edge’s place. Grisham wants to know if Edge is three seconds away from his tenth world title. 1. 2. 3. No he isn’t good to know I can help you out Grisham.
Everyone hits their secondary finisher for a two count. Edge gets the Spear but Swagger makes the save. That’s enough to get the pin on Jericho to keep the title. Swagger hits his powerbomb on Edge and leaves. Jericho beats Edge up even more and smashes his ankle to close the show.
Results
Drew McIntyre b. Kane via DQ – Matt Hardy interference.
Dolph Ziggler b. R-Truth – Sleeper Hold
Michelle McCool b. Mickie James – Big Boot
Hart Dynasty/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Darren Young/Luke Gallows – Running powerslam
JTG b. Caylen Croft – Spinning Neckbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho and Edge – Edge Spear
Saturday
In an update on the Iceland stuff, the Smackdown guys are out of Europe and will be in America in time for Raw. Unless things change, we’ll have the Smackdown guys and the Raw guys that didn’t make the trip work on Monday so Raw may be a bit odd but something will indeed happen. Better than nothing I guess.
Sunday
So the Raw guys are STILL stranded so it looks like Monday Night Smackdown. Eh with how things have been since Mania and a month or two beforehand, is anyone going to notice?
Lockdown
Apparently Doug Williams isn’t here due to the volcano and Sean Waltman isn’t here due to being a colossal dick. Good to know. There will be a match where the winner gets Williams’ place in the title match. Ok then.
Rob Van Dam vs. James Storm
Both guys are in Lethal Lockdown later so I guess this is a warm up match? Remember that everything is in a cage tonight. The arena looks full and great. Can’t beat that. Isn’t the point of a cage match to be, you know, in the cage? RVD beats Storm up on the floor because he can I guess. He’s busted open when we get into the cage. Cage looks great. Everything looks great actually. Definitely the best crowd and best looking show they’ve put on that I can remember.
It’s ALL Van Dam here so I’d put money on him losing somehow. I love the holes in the cage that can be used to see in. It helps with the camera work tremendously. Split legged moonsault connects but no cover. Ok then. Storm spits beer in Van Dam’s face and hits a DDT for two. Superkick is countered into the Frog Splash (it makes sense in context) for the pin. Nice opener.
Hogan talks about how Team Hogan has been getting beaten down pretty badly lately. He says you don’t run people over with a car. That’s true. You use a Semi Truck Brother! Hogan says that if his team gets destroyed he might leave TNA. Hmm I wonder if that’s foreshadowing.
We get a bonus Xscape match where the winner is in the triple threat later.
Xscape match: Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick
So the idea here is just to get out of the cage first. Ok then I guess that works. It’s a Lockdown staple so that’s fine. I guess the tag match these four were supposed to have isn’t happening which is the best I think. It turns into a total spot fest of course but did you really expect much else? That’s what the X Division is supposed to be though.
Also this is FAR more logical than the tag match would have been. Also this is more logical than a 6 man match which would have been a total clusterfuck. This is rather short with Homicide winning. My stream was messing up here but I saw most of it. Homicide wins after the Gringo Killer. Yeah that’s a great name to use.
Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young
Young has to win here but he won’t because of the Band. Young is wearing some kind of green tights. Ok then. Apparently Hogan has told Hall that he has to get a partner tonight or he goes it 2-1. Ok then. I say that a lot. Nash is dominating for the most part here but Young is getting some stuff in.
That’s fine with me as they’re going with the traditional formula to get to the Young comeback. No problem there. And Nash just hits the powerbomb to completely kill Young’s credibility. This show is a success even if nothing else happens.
We recap the Women’s Title insanity to get us here.
Knockout’s Title/Tag Titles: Beautiful People vs. Tara/Angelina Love
Ok so it’s your standard two singles wrestlers vs. tag champions. You know the rules I’m sure. Yep Tara is gorgeous. Velvet and Angelina start us off. Taz is rather annoying on commentary to say the least. Some nice double teaming from the BP there. Make jokes amongst yourselves. Tara pulls an Angle and totally misses a moonsault. Good to see that the accuracy is there still. Angel is better in the ring than she’s given credit for.
Madison takes the Widow’s Peak but Velvet makes the save. Lacey gets in somehow and drills Tara in the head with a belt to give Madison Rayne the Knockout’s Title. So that’s two straight title changes with the champion not getting pinned. Ok then. I do love the BP being the focus of the division. That’s intelligent and not sarcastic actually.
Tara destroys Angelina post match, I think turning heel.
Team Flair and mainly Flair talks about how this is Flair country. Flair gets in his first funny line since being in TNA by saying that JB annoys him. That’s hilarious. He’s out of his wheelchair now. I have no problem with him doing the talking for all of them actually. Also he just cuts a promo rather than screaming like a crazy man. AJ says exactly what he would be expected to say.
X Division Title: Homicide vs. Kazarian vs. Shannon Moore
If Moore wins, this show sucks. They should have just gone with a one on one number one contenders match but I can go with this I guess. No belt here since it’s in Europe I guess. I’d bet on that being used in an angle which would make sense at least. They double team Homicide to start. Apparently they don’t take kindly to qualifiers in these here parts.
Taz points out that he’s a former wrestler. That’s a good thing actually as a lot of people might not know that actually. If you started watching post 2002-03, you’ve likely never seen a Taz match. Homicide hits Eddie’s triple suplex. Scratch that as he doesn’t get through the trio. Homicide hits a SICK double Diamond Cutter off the top but can’t get the pin. Nice spot there. Taz says he opened up a can of Whoop Ass.
He and Tenay laugh like idiots. Ok then. We hit the near fall portion as everyone is making saves. It’s clichéd but it still works incredibly well. Pretty solid stuff so far in here. After a near Gringo Killer, Kaz hooks more or less a reverse piledriver for the pin. He had Homicide on his back and dropped down. That was sweet.
Pope says that AJ isn’t styling at all. Then he talks about a restaurant. Was that good or not? I’m not sure.
Team 3D vs. The Band
It’s Hall and Nash in case you missed it. And it’s not a cage match anymore but a St. Louis Street Fight where falls count anywhere in the building. Uh, sure why not. This actually is a major match to be fair. They start on the ramp and the Outsider’s Edge is blocked. We’re in the crowd already. 3D said no one came to see a match but rather a fight.
That makes sense at least. If the Waltman thing is legit, good riddance. The crowd is definitely making this show much better. We’re back in the ring now with D-Von all by himself. What’s Up hits on Hall. 3D through the table ends this. This was almost a squash match. Well I didn’t expect that one at all.
We recap Anderson vs. Angle which needs to be blown off for good tonight.
Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson
This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.
Anderson accidently leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it. There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good.
Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. That should be a bad porn movie title. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it. He goes for the door but stops. Damn it Kurt don’t be fucking stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too.
Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. If Sly caught that thing I’ll drive to St. Louis and do nothing more than likely. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage. Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it.
Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check. We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out before walking out. GREAT match.
Angle says he’s taking some time off but when he comes back he’s winning the TNA Title.
We recap Pope/AJ, meaning they’re putting Hogan/Flair over the title match. I shake my head at that but the cage match buys them a lot of points.
TNA World Title: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles
Hebner throws Flair out to start. If he stays gone, then sweet. We get the big match intros which it should get. Tenay thinks that Flair being gone helps Pope. You can’t buy commentary like that people! We start off rather well. One good thing about Styles is he can work just about any style you ask him to. Pope can move out there so this is a solid looking match.
Also, this is a good thing as you have two smaller guys with limited muscles in the title picture. That’s a legit alternative to WWE. AJ hits the forearm and the 450 but goes to the top of the cage and misses. Solid match so far. The double knee hits and gets two. AJ reaches through the cage and grabs a pen from the camera guy. Uh, ok. And he jabs Pope in the eye to set up the Styles Clash for the pin.
We cut to the back and Bischoff is JUST GETTING HERE. Was he fly fishing in Iceland or something? Doesn’t say a word.
It’s time for Lethal Lockdown! The rules are just like WarGames but you can win by pin also. No mention of the cage top this time.
Lethal Lockdown
Team Hogan: Abyss, Jeff Hardy, RVD, Jeff Jarrett
Team Flair: Sting, James Storm, Robert Roode, Desmond Wolfe
Apparently Abyss is tougher than Austin. Robert Roode starts for the heels. Remember, if Team Hogan loses then Hogan leaves. In the words of Jeff Hardy’s old music, don’t you see the righting on the wall? Apparently Abyss has a hairline fracture of his hip. Sure why not? These matches are always hard to comment on as they’re mainly clusterfucks for the most part. The faces win the toss based on RVD winning earlier which is STUPID but whatever.
Van Dam is in second. So the faces beat up Roode for awhile because that makes perfect sense right? Van Dam is busted open from the previous match he had tonight. Wolfe is in next. Great to see jobbers getting PPV time. Jarrett comes in to make it 3-2 as I continue to shake my head at the booking of the main event. Storm ties it up. Again, there just isn’t much to talk about in between the periods really. Van Dam is nice and bloody.
We’re down to Sting and Hardy for those keeping score. And there’s no Hardy. Check the stairwells. Yep Sting got to him. And here’s Sting. Ah ok they are doing the roof with weapons thing. That’s a nice touch. Ok so now pins and submissions are legal. It’s a weapons clusterfuck at this point now as you would expect as we kill time before the finish. Jarrett gets knocked to the floor and Beer Money follows them.
And it’s thumbtack time. Abyss takes a beer bottle to the head to stop that though. I’d love to see someone sue for assault of something. What a great heel move that would be. And now it’s time for Hardy. Jarrett gets a guitar shot from the top followed by a 5 Star to Wolfe. Sting gets chokeslammed onto the tacks and Jeff goes up top.
He’s able to beat up both of Beer Money after being hit by a baseball bat. Sure why not. And of course there’s a table on top of the cage. Why not? Jeff climbs a ladder and splashes Storm on top of the cage to….a mild pop. And there’s Flair’s music. Ok then. Damn it here comes Hogan too. Flair is BITING ABYSS’ HAND TO GET THE RING OFF! That is hilarious! Bischoff comes out now and he throws knucks to Hogan who beats up Flair.
And he takes his shirt off to fall onto the tacks. Sure why not. And Abyss gets the pin on Wolfe of course. Why have anyone but the jobber job I guess? The faces pose to end the show and the week.
Results
Rob Van Dam b. James Storm – Five Star Frog Splash
Homicide b. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin and Brian Kendrick – Escaped Cage
Kevin Nash b. Eric Young – Jackknife Powerbomb
Beautiful People b. Tara and Angelina Love – Belt Shot/Rollup
Kazarian b. Homicide and Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
Team 3D b. The Band – 3D
Kurt Angle b. Ken Anderson – Escaped Cage
AJ Styles b. D’Angelo Dinero – Styles Clash
Team Hogan b. Team Flair – Black Hole Slam on Wolfe
Quick Results
Impact
The Band b. Team 3D/Jesse Neal – X Factor through a table
Kaz vs. Shannon Moore went to a time limit draw
Angelina Love vs. Velvet Skye went to a no contest
Matt Morgan/Amazing Red b. Motor City Machine Guns – Code Red
Jeff Hardy b. Robert Roode – Swanton Bomb
AJ Styles/Desmond Wolfe vs. Jay Lethal/D’Angelo Dinero went to a no contest
Raw
Eve Torres b. Maryse – Rollup – NEW Diva’s Champion
Miz b. David Hart-Smith – Skull Crushing Finale
Evan Bourne b. Carlito – Shooting Star Press
John Cena b. David Otunga – STFU
Kofi Kingston b. Sheamus – Disqualification
Bella Twins b. Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim and Rosa Mendes/Jillian Hall – Small Package
Randy Orton b. Batista – DQ – Swagger interference
NXT
Wade Barrett wins a talk off to get his own theme song.
Christian b. Wade Barrett - Killswitch
William Regal b. Daniel Bryan – Knee Trembler
Darren Young b. Luke Gallows – Rollup
Smackdown
Drew McIntyre b. Kane via DQ – Matt Hardy interference.
Dolph Ziggler b. R-Truth – Sleeper Hold
Michelle McCool b. Mickie James – Big Boot
Hart Dynasty/Rey Mysterio b. CM Punk/Darren Young/Luke Gallows – Running powerslam
JTG b. Caylen Croft – Spinning Neckbreaker
Jack Swagger b. Chris Jericho and Edge – Edge Spear
Lockdown
Rob Van Dam b. James Storm – Five Star Frog Splash
Homicide b. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin and Brian Kendrick – Escaped Cage
Kevin Nash b. Eric Young – Jackknife Powerbomb
Beautiful People b. Tara and Angelina Love – Belt Shot/Rollup
Kazarian b. Homicide and Shannon Moore – Reverse Piledriver
Team 3D b. The Band – 3D
Kurt Angle b. Ken Anderson – Escaped Cage
AJ Styles b. D’Angelo Dinero – Styles Clash
Team Hogan b. Team Flair – Black Hole Slam on Wolfe