klunderbunker
Welcome to My (And Not Sly's) House
Monday
Smackdown got a 2.24, up from the rating the live broadcast got.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they're just kind of here and they're usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It's also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let's get to it.
We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it...along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.
The nominees are:
JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock
It's JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out...and here's Cole to cut him off because that's what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole's is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn't need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there's music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.
Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.
Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they're paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the..... DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*
The nominees are:
Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne's shooting star off the ladder
Gee I wonder what's going to win. If you can't figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.
Big Show vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett says what he'll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he's going to do to Orton. After a break we're joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There's a table set up at ringside now. There's also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show's head on the table.
Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands....and wins by DQ at 1:38? It's going to be one of those nights isn't it?
Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He's in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.
There aren't any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is.....CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.
Punk comes out with....a mannequin? It's got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says.....OH MY GOODNESS IT'S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it's Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It's set to a song that I've heard before but can't place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk's behalf and does a decent impression of him.
Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she's still hot. I don't think half the people know who she is.
The nominees are:
Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth's top rope Glam Slam to Eve.
Of course it goes to Kelly because she's supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.
Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it's o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.
HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.
HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer...and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.
He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he'll show the world that he's right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he'll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.
Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They'll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what's going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it's whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.
Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.
Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn't last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.
Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.
Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.
HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he's relieved of his duties.
Edge's retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.
Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he's not here. But he said he'd never leave! We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don't because he didn't have time for that either. This is worse than JR's rap. He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.
Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton
Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We're in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.
This is your usual main event style tag match: it's the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk's kick to the head of Miz can't get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can't hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.
Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.
Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here's Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.
The nominees are:
The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.
Mark Henry says he'll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.
Here's Sheamus but he's interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That's it. There's a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.
Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:
Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena
Ace comes out and accepts for him because he's banged up.
Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.
We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That's cool.
Mark Henry vs. John Cena
This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn't going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.
Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don't put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he's in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he's wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it's thrown out at we'll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There's Cena's match for Sunday I guess.
Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.8 overall. The regular 2 hours got a 3.0.
Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We're still stateside for this and it's probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don't mean anything and that's fine. This is about the people in the audience and that's fine. This was taped Sunday night so don't expect any references to last night. Let's get to it.
We're in an arena this year.
The President gives his usual message about this show.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here's the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.
Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There's an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.
Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she's beautiful.
Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.
Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.
Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.
A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.
Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn't going to last long. There's the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.
Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.
Hugh Jackman loves the troops.
The Bellas visit West Point.
Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos
Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it's off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.
The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.
Celine Dion loves the troops.
George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.
Video on Nash vs. HHH.
Booker joins in on commentary.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
Bryan's ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.
Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there's a Spinarooni
Carson Daly loves the troops.
Mary J. Blige performs.
Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.
Robin Williams loves the troops.
The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They're videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn't have a video in this.
Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.
Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico
Rosa is with the non-champions and she's still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there's a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.
Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.
Nickelback performs again. This time it's a new song called When We Stand Together.
Christina Aguliera loves the troops.
Here's Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He's in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.
Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre
Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can't get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he's Sheamus and he's fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.
Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.
Regis Philbin loves the troops.
Mary J. Blige performs again.
Bradley Cooper loves the troops.
Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show
Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn't legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I've ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here's the big showdown.
Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.
Punk fights off Henry and here's your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.
Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.
Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry AA to Henry
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 14, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
We're almost to the end of the year and we're in the ninth month of this show. This show could have been a whole pregnancy by this point. After last week, it appears we have a second good guy rookie in the form of Derrick Bateman. Given that he's been one of the most worthless characters in recent memory, that can't really be a bad thing. Let's get to it.
If this show is the search for the next breakout star, how dim is this star that it's taken them this long to find it?
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu
Reks says the two of them aren't rookies and they'll never beg for support from dirty North Carolinians. Trent calls them grumpy and Yoshi tells Reks to wash his hair. That's the latest chant and according to Striker, it'll be trending. Just....no. Tyler gets double teamed to start but Yoshi takes too much time on the top and is slammed down. Yoshi gets beaten down by both guys as Striker tries to get Hawkins nickname over as And 1.
Not very hot tag brings in Trent who beats on Hawkins and hits a top rope cross body for two. Barretta doesn't get to be on TV much and has a pretty basic cruiserweight style, but he's very smooth out there. Speaking of smooth, Trent spins out of what looked like a slam attempt into a rollup on Hawkins for the pin at 4:00.
Percy Watson has a talk show now. Let's get this over with. The subject is the saga of Bateman/Curtis/Maxine. We get a LONG video on the whole thing, concluding with Maxine ending the engagement last week. Here's Bateman and Percy asks him if there's anything going on between Bateman and Maxine's mama. Bateman says that's insane, just like all women.
Cue Curtis who shows a still of Derrick kissing the finger of Maxine's mom as it's against his lips. Curtis talks about how JTG said that he and Maxine left together and that wasn't true. Cue JTG and Watson asked why he said that. JTG says Curtis paid him to do it. Curtis denies this and JTG leaves. Cue Maxine now who says she's tired of all this stuff. Bateman: That girl is so crazy, how can you not want to spend the rest of your life with her? Curtis: She doesn't like you man. Bateman drops Curtis and leaves. Watson laughs and Curtis goes after him. Striker makes the match for later.
Jey Uso vs. JTG
No Siva Tao which makes me sad. Basic back and forth start as Striker seems to agree with Bateman's statement that all women are crazy. Josh: You're still single right? Absolutely nothing to talk about in the first few minutes of this. JTG controls with his usual really basic stuff. He's just not effective as a heel, mainly because he's nothing special at all as far as a character or from a looks perspective. Jey comes back and hits a superkick for the pin at 3:34.
Earlier today in Striker's office (he has an office???) Titus came in to apologize but the challenge to Young is still on. I don't know why this segment existed.
Slammys recap eats up some time.
Bateman goes up to talk to Maxine and says that before the show is over, he'll marry her. Curtis comes up after Bateman leaves and kisses her. She tries to slap him but says they'll get physical after the match.
Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis
STRIKER STOLE MY BABY JOKE!!! He said we could have a baby by the end of the season. So Matt Striker thinks like me? I'm not sure I like that. Watson takes over to start and drops a leg for two. Curtis fights back with a single arm suplex for two. Curtis works on the arm a bit and then Percy hits a dropkick to break that up. There's another and make it three. Jumping clothesline hits but he hurts his arm on it. Never mind though as he hits an overhead belly to belly release. Flipping splash gets two. Curtis gets up and hits a Falcon's Arrow for the pin at 4:10.
Titus comes out for his showdown with Young. You know, their at least 8th fight this season. He's in a suit for this one so maybe this isn't a match? He apologizes to his sons for not being perfect and losing his cool last week. Young cuts him off, also in street clothes. Titus says he doesn't have Young's resume but he's out here working every week.
Young says he's just an ex-football player. Titus says this has nothing to do with that and runs down a list of a bunch of ex-football players, like DiBiase Senior, Ron Simmons or Rock. Titus says he's going to leave and this is done. Young calls him a failure and shoves him. A brawl ends the show. Titus leaves him laying and isn't happy about it.
Results
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Falcon's Arrow
Smackdown got a 2.24, up from the rating the live broadcast got.
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 12, 2011
Location: Norfolk Scope Arena, Norfolk, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
It's the Slammys! I used to love these things when I was a kid and they were so campy and entertaining. Now they're just kind of here and they're usually a way to have some minor stories set up for the next few weeks/months. The main event tonight is Cena vs. Henry, which somehow is a pretty big showdown. It's also the go home show for TLC, which is kind of a minor aspect given the three hour nature of this. Let's get to it.
We open with a Slammy presentation. This is for the Tell Me I Did Not Just See That Moment of the Year. Booker presents it...along with Horny. Horny has an afro wig and keeps doing chest bumps with Booker.
The nominees are:
JR dancing
Santino almost winning the Royal Rumble
A fan throws water at R-Truth
Miz impersonates Rock
It's JR dancing. I can live with that as that was pretty awesome. JR comes out...and here's Cole to cut him off because that's what Cole does. Cole says JR is fat and Booker calls him a loser. Strap in people: Cole vs. Booker can go on for HOURS. Booker says JR can beat Cole in a rap off. Cole's is awful and I think everyone expected that. JR says he doesn't need music. His actually has something resembling a rhythm to it and there's music to it anyway. And then he stops rhyming all together. Guess who the fans say win. This very well may have been the worst opening in the history of professional wrestling.
Oh and JR does a Spinarooni. Ok more like he looks like he has a heart attack and convulses on the mat for a bit.
Here are Foley and Ted DiBiase Senior to present the Holy Censored Moment of the Year. This pairing is about as awesome as anything in the history of, ahem, Mankind. They try to figure out why they're paired together. DiBiase says that he is an ordained minister. Foley: So if that makes you the holy, then I guess that makes me the..... DiBise: *EVIL LAUGH*
The nominees are:
Sheamus powerbombs Sin Cara through a ladder
The RKO to a leaping Christian onto the steps
The ring breaking
Evan Bourne's shooting star off the ladder
Gee I wonder what's going to win. If you can't figure this out, you fail. Show comes out to accept and thanks the Sports Entertainment Academy of Arts and Sports. He thinks the World Heavyweight Championship would look good next to the Slammy. Nice little promo for the match on Sunday and for his match which is next.
Big Show vs. Wade Barrett
Barrett says what he'll do to Orton at TLC will earn him that award Big Show just won. Then again that award is for something unexpected and everyone knows what he's going to do to Orton. After a break we're joined in progress with Barrett on the floor trying to get up. There's a table set up at ringside now. There's also a chair and a ladder. Barrett avoids going through the table and hits a big boot to put Show's head on the table.
Show gets up as Barrett is ready to jump and then the bald man breaks the table. With Barrett on the apron on the outside, Show chops him in the chest and knocks him into the ring. Barrett goes to the floor and brings in a chair. Show knocks it out of his hands....and wins by DQ at 1:38? It's going to be one of those nights isn't it?
Of all people, the Road Dogg is doing this one. Yes, that Road Dogg. He's in a DX shirt and is doing the Pipe Bomb of the year, which I think is the weird moment of the year.
There aren't any real nominees but more along the lines of a bunch of R-Truth moments plus a hand full of others. This is just a big comedy montage for all intents and purposes, which is a great reminder of some stuff, namely Punk and Truth. The winner is.....CM Punk. Ok I can live with that.
Punk comes out with....a mannequin? It's got a blonde wig and a t-shirt that says.....OH MY GOODNESS IT'S A DYNAMIC DUDES SHIRT!!!!! Punk says that he wants to talk about something tonight that is a special cause. This person works behind the scenes and is incredibly boring, just like this mannequin. Naturally it's Johnny Ace and Punk has a tribute video. It's set to a song that I've heard before but can't place. We get Dynamic Dudes clips in there too which makes this worth a smile. After the video Punk is trying not to crack up. He accepts the award on Punk's behalf and does a decent impression of him.
Lita is here to present the Divalicious Moment of the Year. Yep she's still hot. I don't think half the people know who she is.
The nominees are:
Natalya putting the Sharpshooter on Eve and I think Alicia.
Kelly winning the Divas Title.
Kharma destroying Michelle.
Beth's top rope Glam Slam to Eve.
Of course it goes to Kelly because she's supposed to be some kind of female hero or something. Beth comes out to take the award from her and gets slapped.
Santino presents the OMG Moment of the Year. The Bellas are with him and they look good in those red dresses. After an argument over whether it's o-m-g or OMG (pronounced like a word), here are the nominees.
HHH tombstones the Undertaker.
Rock Bottom to Cena at Mania.
The Walk Out.
Punk Leaves With The Title.
HHH wins. Are you freaking kidding me? He makes his big return with the hammer...and walks to the ring without his award. HHH says the real OMG moment was having Taker carried out for the first time in his career. He says the Undertaker is no more. HHH takes credit for ending the Streak. Are you kidding me? We get the video of Nash hitting him with the hammer a few months ago.
He says that maybe their 16 year relationship was based on lies and this Sunday all the lies and deceptions end. On Sunday he'll show the world that he's right and that Nash is simply done. Well he was done 13 years ago. Do we really need a match for that? HHH leaves and implies he'll hit Santino with the hammer but lets him run instead.
Otunga and Tony Atlas are here for the Trending Superstar of the Year. Tony does the laugh as Otunga tries to be serious. The award goes to whichever superstar listed is trending on Twitter the fastest. Get this over with. They'll be in a fatal fourway with the winner of the match meaning nothing but the first to be trending winning the Slammy.
Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder
Or is the winner of the match the winner of the award? Do they have any idea what's going on here? Ryder and Bryan send the champs to the floor and hit stereo dives as we take a break. Back with Ryder and Bryan squaring off and they change the rules AGAIN, saying that it's whoever trends first. THEN WHY HAVE THE MATCH??? Bryan and Ryder have a decent back and forth segment with them hitting cross bodies to put them both down.
Rhodes and Ziggler tease a staredown but think better of it so they can stomp the good guys. They get in a shoving match and Bryan tries to steal a pin. Rhodes and Bryan have a LONG pinfall reversal sequence but Bryan is sent to the floor. Ryder follows him and Ziggler tries to roll up Rhodes. Alabama Slam to Dolph gets two. They take a second break with Cody standing tall.
Back with Rhodes having Ryder in a Figure Four which doesn't last long. Rhodes charges into some knees in the corner but Dolph breaks up the Broski Boot. Everyone is in the ring and everyone goes down. Beautiful Disaster hits Ziggler for two and Bryan goes off with the rapid fire kicks to Cody. Bryan goes up but gets crotched. Ziggler gets drilled by Ryder but stops Ryder as he goes up. Both heels hit superplexes and everyone is down again. Rough Ryder to Ziggler, Cross Rhodes to Ryder, LeBell Lock to Rhodes, Sleeper to Bryan, Zig Zag to Bryan and that gets the pin at 15:22.
Ryder wins the award, because the match was pointless. He gets a Zig Zag for his efforts.
Christian returns to present Game Changer of the Year. He gives himself courageous moment of the year first of all. This is for one moment that changes everything. Here are the nominees.
HHH telling Vince and the pink jacket that he's relieved of his duties.
Edge's retirement speech.
Kevin Nash returns.
Rock and Cena making the main event of Mania a year early.
Cena and Rock win, as they probably should. Cena says he should only get half of the credit for this and introduces Rock. Oh wait this is a live show so he's not here. But he said he'd never leave! We do have a satellite clip though. Oh wait no we don't because he didn't have time for that either. This is worse than JR's rap. He apologizes for Team Bring It for not bringing it. However, this makes the award mean more because Rock is going to see this soon and hopefully it fires him up even more. This award is for changing the game for a year, but at Mania they change the game forever.
Alberto Del Rio/The Miz vs. CM Punk/Randy Orton
Punk vs. Miz starts us off. Off to Del Rio vs. Orton quickly and the Viper gets beaten down by both heels. We're in standard tag formula mode quickly tonight. Punk gets a hot tag quickly and cleans house but the GTS is broken up, allowing Miz to guillotine Punk on the ropes as we take a break. Back with Punk backsliding Miz for two. Del Rio comes in and works over the arm a lot.
This is your usual main event style tag match: it's the same formula with one guy getting beaten down for a long time until the other big face comes in off a hot tag and cleans house to set up the ending. The Finale and the GTS are countered but Punk's kick to the head of Miz can't get the tag. Barrett runs in through the crowd to take out Orton. Miz can't hit the corner clothesline but he counters the GTS into the Finale for the clean pin on Punk at 12:42. Forget what I said about the formula I guess.
Miz and Del Rio beat up Punk post match and he gets put in the armbreaker using the ladder.
Vickie presents A-Lister of the Year. And here's Goldust to present with her. He says she wears more makeup than she does.
The nominees are:
The Muppets
Hugh Jackman
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
And it goes to Snooki because the WWE is stupid. She gives a pre-recorded message.
Mark Henry says he'll do more to Big Show Sunday than he has already.
Here's Sheamus but he's interrupted by Jinder Mahal. Ok then. He rambles for awhile and gets his head kicked off. That's it. There's a referee there but there was no bell and no cover or anything.
Rey Mysterio comes out to present Superstar of the Year. The nominees are:
Orton
Miz
Henry
Punk
Del Rio
Cena
Ace comes out and accepts for him because he's banged up.
Second Coming video. The word control flashes on the screen to end this.
We hear a story about a soldier in Afghanistan that hugged Vince when she saw him and opened her phone to show him her son with a WWE Title belt. Her son and husband are in the front row. That's cool.
Mark Henry vs. John Cena
This is due to Cena costing Henry a win last week over Ryder. The bell rang at 1055 so this isn't going to last long. We go to a break less than a minute in. Back with Henry in control,. Cena tries a slam but falls backwards. Off to a neck vice but Cena suplexes his way out of it. He hits the Shuffle but collapses on an AA attempt which gets two for Mark. Henry calls Cena Mr. USA I think.
Cena avoids a powerslam and hammers away but the shoulders don't put Henry down. Instead Cena jumps into a bearhug and he's in trouble. He escapes for a few seconds and hits the Slam but falls down afterwards. Then some fire goes off and KANE is back. He has a modified version of the old music and looks like he's wearing a metal mask. He chokeslams Cena and I guess it's thrown out at we'll say 9 minutes. The mask looks ridiculous, but he takes it off post chokeslam to reveal a more traditional one. There's Cena's match for Sunday I guess.
Results
Big Show b. Wade Barrett via DQ when Barrett used a chair
Dolph Ziggler b. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes and Zach Ryder Zig Zag to Bryan
The Miz/Alberto Del Rio b. Randy Orton/CM Punk Skull Crushing Finale to Punk
John Cena vs. Mark Henry went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Tuesday
Raw got a 2.8 overall. The regular 2 hours got a 3.0.
Tribute to the Troops 2011
Date: December 13, 2011
Location: Fort Bragg, North Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
This is the show that is now a tradition and is still pretty awesome. We're still stateside for this and it's probably a lot easier that way. The matches here don't mean anything and that's fine. This is about the people in the audience and that's fine. This was taped Sunday night so don't expect any references to last night. Let's get to it.
We're in an arena this year.
The President gives his usual message about this show.
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett
Pretty big match to start things off with. Orton takes over to start and we get a Slammys reference. Maybe the commentary was recorded later? Barrett pounds him down to take over and a big boot puts Randy on the apron and gets two back in the ring. Pumphandle slam gets two. Barrett goes up and Orton gets in a set of punches and a superplex for two. Here's the comeback and it starts with the powerslam. Elevated DDT is countered and they go to the outside. The DDT on the floor is countered and they brawl to a double countout at 5:57.
Barrett beats Orton up post match and loads up a table. Orton gets in a dropkick and sets up the table. Otunga of all people runs out for the save and he beats on Randy for a bit. There's an RKO for him and he goes through the table via a big powerbomb.
Nicole Kidman loves the troops. My goodness she's beautiful.
Jake Gyllenhall loves the troops.
Barrett says he has the psychological advantage over Orton. The only voice Orton will hear is a table breaking in half.
Nickelback performs Burn it the the Ground. Awesome song live.
A group of superstars jump out of a plane, which is what the specialty unit at Fort Bragg does.
Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder brings out Sgt. Slaughter to counteract Ziggler. Ryder hits a middle rope dropkick for two. Swagger comes back with a powerslam for two but Zack pops off some punches. This isn't going to last long. There's the Broski Boot but the Rough Ryder is countered. Ryder is sent to the floor and Ziggler gets in a shot. Slaughter hits the Slaughter Cannon to put him over the announce table. Swagger beats down Sarge and steals the Ryder headband he was wearing. Back inside the Vader Bomb misses and the Rough Ryder ends this at 3:45.
Slaughter puts on the Cobra Clutch post match.
Hugh Jackman loves the troops.
The Bellas visit West Point.
Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos
Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it's off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.
The Muppets love the troops and show more personality than other celebrities combined.
Celine Dion loves the troops.
George Wallace, a comedian, does a brief routine.
Video on Nash vs. HHH.
Booker joins in on commentary.
Daniel Bryan vs. Cody Rhodes
Bryan's ribs are still taped. Rhodes goes straight for them, dropping the ribs onto the corner and taking over quickly. Off to a surfboard and Rhodes stomps him down in the corner. The commentary is all about Booker and Cole, which is a bit more understandable due to Booker facing Rhodes on Sunday. A clothesline puts Cody on the floor but Bryan jumps into a kick to the ribs. Booker checks on Bryan and pops Cody in the jaw, allowing Bryan to get a rollup in the ring for the pin at 4:35.
Booker beats on Cody a bit post match and there's a Spinarooni
Carson Daly loves the troops.
Mary J. Blige performs.
Air Boom runs into Miss USA and does the Boom Boom Boom.
Robin Williams loves the troops.
The Dancing with the Stars winner, a veteran, says the troops are cool. He judges some of the wrestlers dancing. They're videos of guys in the past and Eve gets the high score despite having nothing on Layla. Granted she didn't have a video in this.
Hornswoggle does the announcing for this.
Air Boom vs. Primo/Epico
Rosa is with the non-champions and she's still gorgeous. Kofi vs. Epico to get us started. Epico and Primo are real life cousins. Off to Bourne very quickly and he does his usual high flying stuff to fire the crowd up. Epico takes over and works on the back of Kofi but there's a tag to Bourne who comes in with a rana. Everything breaks down and a Backstabber by Epico ends Bourne at 2:59. I guess there are your next champions.
Matthew McConaughey loves the troops.
Nickelback performs again. This time it's a new song called When We Stand Together.
Christina Aguliera loves the troops.
Here's Christian looking like he fell out of a building. He's in agony but is here to celebrate the Canadian Army. Cue Sheamus to glare at him.
Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre
Drew actually comes out second and gets a full entrance. Sheamus beats him up but can't get the Celtic Cross. Drew gets in a few shots but Sheamus remembers he's Sheamus and he's fighting Drew McIntyre so he takes Drew down and a Brogue Kick ends this at 2:15.
Jimmy Fallon loves the troops.
Regis Philbin loves the troops.
Mary J. Blige performs again.
Bradley Cooper loves the troops.
Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry vs. John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show
Punk vs. Miz to start us off. Off to Cena who gets a bit reaction. He and Punk do some nice double team stuff and Punk messes up a bit and covers Miz at the same time Cena does. I think he legit forgot he wasn't legal. Not a big deal but kind of funny. Off to Show who hits one of the hardest sounding chops I've ever heard. Del Rio comes in very slowly. Henry comes in about four seconds later and here's the big showdown.
Henry gets the better of it and slams Show for two. The heels take turns beating on Show and Henry comes back in for a bearhug. Show fights out of it and hits a superkick. Double clothesline and both guys are down. Off to Miz vs. Punk with the champion taking over. Punk and Show do the Snuka/Andre move for the elbow to set up the Anaconda Vice but Del Rio comes in for the save.
Punk fights off Henry and here's your real hot tag to Cena. He hits the suplex on Henry and I guess it must be the camo that makes no one able to see him. Everything breaks down and we get the usual ending to this show where all of the faces hit their finishers for the pin, with Cena hitting the AA on Henry to officially end it at 9:20.
Cena thanks the roster (which is all on the stage) and all of the troops for what they do. Nothing wrong with that.
Results
Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett went to a double countout
Zack Ryder b. Jack Swagger Rough Ryder
Maria Menounos/Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox b. Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix Sunset flip to Phoenix
Daniel Bryan b. Cody Rhodes Rollup
Epico/Primo b. Air Boom Backstabber to Bourne
Sheamus b. Drew McIntyre Brogue Kick
John Cena/CM Punk/Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio/The Miz/Mark Henry AA to Henry
Wednesday
NXT
Date: December 14, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews
We're almost to the end of the year and we're in the ninth month of this show. This show could have been a whole pregnancy by this point. After last week, it appears we have a second good guy rookie in the form of Derrick Bateman. Given that he's been one of the most worthless characters in recent memory, that can't really be a bad thing. Let's get to it.
If this show is the search for the next breakout star, how dim is this star that it's taken them this long to find it?
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu
Reks says the two of them aren't rookies and they'll never beg for support from dirty North Carolinians. Trent calls them grumpy and Yoshi tells Reks to wash his hair. That's the latest chant and according to Striker, it'll be trending. Just....no. Tyler gets double teamed to start but Yoshi takes too much time on the top and is slammed down. Yoshi gets beaten down by both guys as Striker tries to get Hawkins nickname over as And 1.
Not very hot tag brings in Trent who beats on Hawkins and hits a top rope cross body for two. Barretta doesn't get to be on TV much and has a pretty basic cruiserweight style, but he's very smooth out there. Speaking of smooth, Trent spins out of what looked like a slam attempt into a rollup on Hawkins for the pin at 4:00.
Percy Watson has a talk show now. Let's get this over with. The subject is the saga of Bateman/Curtis/Maxine. We get a LONG video on the whole thing, concluding with Maxine ending the engagement last week. Here's Bateman and Percy asks him if there's anything going on between Bateman and Maxine's mama. Bateman says that's insane, just like all women.
Cue Curtis who shows a still of Derrick kissing the finger of Maxine's mom as it's against his lips. Curtis talks about how JTG said that he and Maxine left together and that wasn't true. Cue JTG and Watson asked why he said that. JTG says Curtis paid him to do it. Curtis denies this and JTG leaves. Cue Maxine now who says she's tired of all this stuff. Bateman: That girl is so crazy, how can you not want to spend the rest of your life with her? Curtis: She doesn't like you man. Bateman drops Curtis and leaves. Watson laughs and Curtis goes after him. Striker makes the match for later.
Jey Uso vs. JTG
No Siva Tao which makes me sad. Basic back and forth start as Striker seems to agree with Bateman's statement that all women are crazy. Josh: You're still single right? Absolutely nothing to talk about in the first few minutes of this. JTG controls with his usual really basic stuff. He's just not effective as a heel, mainly because he's nothing special at all as far as a character or from a looks perspective. Jey comes back and hits a superkick for the pin at 3:34.
Earlier today in Striker's office (he has an office???) Titus came in to apologize but the challenge to Young is still on. I don't know why this segment existed.
Slammys recap eats up some time.
Bateman goes up to talk to Maxine and says that before the show is over, he'll marry her. Curtis comes up after Bateman leaves and kisses her. She tries to slap him but says they'll get physical after the match.
Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis
STRIKER STOLE MY BABY JOKE!!! He said we could have a baby by the end of the season. So Matt Striker thinks like me? I'm not sure I like that. Watson takes over to start and drops a leg for two. Curtis fights back with a single arm suplex for two. Curtis works on the arm a bit and then Percy hits a dropkick to break that up. There's another and make it three. Jumping clothesline hits but he hurts his arm on it. Never mind though as he hits an overhead belly to belly release. Flipping splash gets two. Curtis gets up and hits a Falcon's Arrow for the pin at 4:10.
Titus comes out for his showdown with Young. You know, their at least 8th fight this season. He's in a suit for this one so maybe this isn't a match? He apologizes to his sons for not being perfect and losing his cool last week. Young cuts him off, also in street clothes. Titus says he doesn't have Young's resume but he's out here working every week.
Young says he's just an ex-football player. Titus says this has nothing to do with that and runs down a list of a bunch of ex-football players, like DiBiase Senior, Ron Simmons or Rock. Titus says he's going to leave and this is done. Young calls him a failure and shoves him. A brawl ends the show. Titus leaves him laying and isn't happy about it.
Results
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson Falcon's Arrow