Star Wars: The Force Awakens
- Thread starter Jane
- Start date
The Butcher
ð¶
My dad works at Nintendo Disney so here's the inside scoop:
The black guy is Leia's son from an affair she had with Lando Calrissian.
Chewbacca has seen so much war that he now has crippling PTSD. It's hinted at that he commits suicide in the next movie.
Luke Skywalker has been living in seclusion, not because of anything Force related but because he can't get over the thought of having sex with his own sister.
The ethnic cleansing of the Gungans was a rousing success.
How accurate are the rumors of an Ewok Sith Lord?
The Butcher
ð¶
I trust my sources.
The Butcher
ð¶
I didn't care about Episodes II & III and showed my disinterest in similar fashion.
I really, really don't care this time, though.
Last time I went to the first screening of a movie was the Dark Knight Rises. It was a nightmare. Not making that mistake again. I'm gonna wait till Star Wars has been in cinemas for 5 weeks, then go see in the least popular cinema in town. Because alone with a giant screen is how movies are supposed to be watched, dammit.
A new Star Wars you say? Funny, I hadn't heard.
I know I'll see it at some point, only question is when. Probably wouldn't have bothered to shell out the dough to see it in theaters but I just came into a lot of money recently so fuck it, I'll probably catch it sometime in the next few weeks. I've already seen Episodes I, III, and VI in theaters so might as well keep it up. I'm excited about it but not like....as excited as I'd be for a new Halloween or Friday the 13th movie. Still fairly excited.
I know I'll see it at some point, only question is when. Probably wouldn't have bothered to shell out the dough to see it in theaters but I just came into a lot of money recently so fuck it, I'll probably catch it sometime in the next few weeks. I've already seen Episodes I, III, and VI in theaters so might as well keep it up. I'm excited about it but not like....as excited as I'd be for a new Halloween or Friday the 13th movie. Still fairly excited.
99% on Rotten Tomatoes. Shocking, really. I figured it would get good reviews but I wasn't expecting this.
The Butcher
ð¶
Careful, guys. The bar is set at Revenge of the Sith.
Nate DaMac
Fuck erbody but me
Have never seen a Star Wars movie. Unless you count the Family Guy spoofs.
Alex
King Of The Wasteland
That's my second favourite one (don't judge me)
I might see it at some point. Trouble is I work the crap shifts at work and probably won't have anyone to go with unless they pity me and see it again.
Seriously? I don't understand how anybody could enjoy that movie.
The Butcher
ð¶
Not really the best of either franchise right there. They fell between the ass cheek of Family Guy fans and the ass cheek of Star Wars fans, landing firmly in crack territory. That's either just above shit or right in it depending on which way you're wiping. I mean, I don't know who more obviously didn't give a shit by their third installment, Seth MacFarlane or Harrison Ford.
They followed the plot of the three movies pretty well, though, so you could watch the new one and not be completely lost.
From when I got my first after-school job in the late 1990s to more recently than I'd like to admit, George Lucas and Vince McMahon have taken my money and set it ablaze while daring me to give them more. I'm in no position to judge anyone.
Mock? Sure. Tease? Absolutely; but no judging here.
I thought it was easily the best of the prequels. The ending was quite memorable.
Plus, you know, murdering dozens of children with your lightsaber, always a plus.
The Butcher
ð¶
Yes they are. We've softened with time, and the new one brings goodwill to the franchise, but they're awful.
As films they're pitiful. Overly kinetic cartoons with live actors Roger Rabbit'ed in with soap opera direction, dialogue, and acting.
As parts of the series they're pablum. They contradict the originals and add nothing to Anakin Skywalker that inference didn't do better.
They really aren't. They're not "bad" films. They just could never compare to the hype or nostalgia of the originals. But shit like Jar Jar Binks really, really made them an easy target to shit on. Hayden Christensen's acting didn't help much either.
So basically aside from the CGI, they're just like the original trilogy then? Because it had those last three things in abundance in all of them. We as a society have blinders on sometimes when it comes to beloved franchises like this, but the original trilogy is every bit as "soap opera" as the prequels, I mean Jesus the whole "Luke I am your father!" thing is basically a soap opera trope right out of the Days of Our Lives. Nostalgia juggernaut that the original trilogy is, there's a reason Alec Guinness thought the original was fairytale rubbish and he was only there for a paycheck.
The original trilogy are good films, but George Lucas isn't Orson Welles and Star Wars ain't exactly The Third Man. They're special effects driven fantasy films.
