Star Wars- The Last Jedi Review by Jeff Deliverer of Mail. *SPOILER WARNINGS!* I'm going to reveal spoilers so don't read this if you haven't seen the movie yet! Star Wars The Last Jedi is the first Star Wars I've watched in the theatres since Return of the Jedi in 1983, that wasn't yesterday. At $6.34 for a Sprite at the canteen, I can see why I try to avoid going to the movies. This one I couldn't resist, I adored most of Force Awakens and wanted to see where the story would go from here. We start Last Jedi with The Resistance fleeing The First Order and it's a fantastic opening with Poe Cameron attacking a Dreadnaught with bombers and the like. This sets in motion a space chase not unlike The Millenium Falcons race to escape The Empire in Empire Strikes Back. The First Order have -tracked- The Resistance fleet after they went through hyperspace and now are peppering their shields...waiting for them to ....ahem...run out of gas. Snoke's Capital Ship is 50 times bigger than a Star Destroyer but they can't decimate a little ship in their path 1/1000th their size? Come on! Oh well...thats not really a big deal...moving on... Meanwhile Luke and Rey continue their scene from the end of Force Awakens, he takes the lightsaber and then tosses it over his shoulder and walks away. Luke has given up on the Force and is playing hermit the crab on this very inhabited island full of adorable little space chickens and alien housekeepers. The story continues and we learn Luke had failed Kylo Ren, saying the dark side was so strong in him that he struggled to not do something about it..ect ect. He trains Rey, she has a quick moment of the dark side calling her. It scares Luke. Kylo Ren and Rey start talking in force face time conversations. Time for a side quest?!?? Why not!? The movie has a 2.5 hour run time. Easily 30 minutes could be shaved off and the following shitty scenes could have easily been removed from Star Wars and would have absolutely ZERO IMPACT on the main story. Finn and his new girl pal (Forgot her name) plan up in secret with Poe to go on a quest to a casino on some planet to get a special code breaker to help them turn off the tracking device on Snoke's Capital ship. If Finn completes this quest he can unlock special green pants for future scenes! (Kidding) Anyway....they go to this all to Earth-like casino with goofy looking aliens in it, goofy looking CGI Jurrassic Park horses and whatnot all to say that these are people that fund the entire war. Not needed ....at all. Anyway, they get captured and here's Benicio Del Toro who's trying to channel a quasi Lando Calrissian/Han Solo esque character with a slight speech impediment...A.K.A trying too fucking hard. They escape and with purpose of destroying the casino sybollically and freeing the alien horse prisoners they make it to a stolen ship with BB8.....it hurts me to even write what I saw there. The whole scene SHOULD have been left on the cutting room floor, it was so bad. The CGI Dinohorses were terrible looking and it was all pointless as fuck. Anyway....that side quest ultimately has a final boss. Phantasma (SP)...Finn kills her. Bye bye Phantasma lol. Oh well, as least she looked really cool. Phew!!! Back to the main story! Ren attacks the fleet in a really cool scene which leads to a stupid as shit scene. Princess Leia is killed, sucked out to space. A fitting end to ....wait...nevermind, she can fly! Princess Leia can survive the cold of space on her skin and fly like Superman. John Williams takes this opportunity to pipe in his Superman theme as she tucks her arm behind her back and flies back to the ship with a cocky expression. Kidding....on the John Williams part. Yes, she really did survive space and fly back to the ship! Lol! Rey surrenders to the First Order ala Luke from Return of the Jedi. She is brought before Snoke by Kylo Ren. Rey tries to kill him with Ren's lightsaber after Snoke spins her around with the Force easily. He seems all powerful as he puts her in a force lock and she's in extreme pain. He wants Luke Skywalker. Now, 10 seconds later, he wants Kylo Ren to execute her? Wait a second....why not torture her to make Luke want to come rescue her ala Han's torture in Empire? What is the entire point of bringing her there just to off her? Why not try and turn her? Why not just crush her with the Force if you just wanted her dead this whole time? It makes zero sense! If you thought that made no sense..... Kylo Ren goes into his speal that he did before killing Han Solo while Snoke tells him to turn his lightsaber towards her and kill her...meanwhile, he's turning the saber Ren brought next to Snoke's arm rest and ignites it! He calls it back to his hand, effectively chopping Snoke in half and killing him! Extremely cool moment and followed by an awesome Ren and Rey vs The Red Guards, probably my favorite part of the film here. Poor Snoke though. So powerful and we have no idea where he came from and what his story was. Just Fart noise dead before he reached any kind of potential. After the great fight Kylo Ren reveals that he is still bad and wants Rey to join him. He reveals the truth of Rey's parents...they were just a couple of nobody's who dumped her off and died in a desert somewhere???? That was a shit end to that mystery eh? Anyway, Poe and Leis pal had this mutany story going and they eventually abandon ship to a nearby planet, Leai's pal does a fantastic sacrifice by going into hyperspace and taking out The First Order Capital ships in a wonderful scene. Final battle is similar to the Battle of Hoth from Empire without the snow. We get a heart swelling Millenium Falcon save and multiple tie fighter explosions through a mine that was a joy to witness in 3D. Then Luke shows up. He gets shot by every machine outside. But he walks out of the smoke and wipes off a fleck from his shoulder for a funny moment. Ren fights him. But soon learns it's just Force FaceTime Luke and he's stalling so the Resistance can escape. Fuck off. I hated when he did this shit in the novels and never expected them to do it here. Then he vanishes ala Obi Wan Kenobi on his little island. Fuck off again, seriously. We get a shot of one of the little kid slaves still holding his super special Resistance ring he got in a box of Kelloggs Frosted Star Wars Flakes and bam. Movie over. Soooo scared to kill any main good guys off. Resorting to killing off the best actor in the movie and blew off Snoke like he was a Stormtrooper. What a waste of potential! Why not this instead: Luke is brought before Snoke. He is forced to his knees and savagely turned to the Dark Side right in front of Rey. Luke tries to kill Rey but Kylo Ren stops him, reveals that Rey is Luke's daughter somehow. Luke struggles to understand this, Snoke orders The Red Guard to kill Rey and Ren, they escape after a fight. Dark Luke and Snoke continue as the fucking No.1 and No.2 bad guys in the series. Kylo Ren rejects joining the Resistance and takes off to form a third faction somewhere. It's better than what they did, even though the Kylo Ren actor was really good in this film. I suppose they wanted to wipe the slate clean in a way and go on with Star Wars with this new generation without Luke and whatnot. But it's a big waste of Mark Hamill IMO. He was SO good in this movie that I mentally begged him to turn to the Dark Side so we could see him again in the next movie. If that's it for Phantasma and Snoke (It most likely is) then what a waste of time they were. Especially Snoke. What is the whole point of introducing such a powerful character in the series only to just snuff him out halfway through? Anyway.... 7/10 It gets high marks for some incredible, amazing scenes that stand out as some of my favorites in all the Star Wars movies. It really loses points for that fucking terrible Side quest to the casino and some odd choices in the direction of the series....and the flying Princess.