REMINDER: Sex Is Only Worthwhile In A Committed Relationship

Discussion in 'The Bar Room Archives' started by Cena's Little Helper, Oct 21, 2013.

  1. Cena's Little Helper

    Cena's Little Helper Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    Not because emotions make sex better (it doesn't), but because your girlfriend will eventually let you in without that complete killer of all pleasure known as latex.
     
    #1
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  2. Poop Master Flex

    Poop Master Flex Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    Raw dog is the way to go, latex just fucks everything up.
     
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  3. George Steele's Barber

    George Steele's Barber Advertise Here $9.95/month

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    I thought this was about the butt.

    Butt yeah, rubbers are awful (but practice safe sex kids).
     
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  4. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    I'm not as worried about picking up, say, crabs as I am about getting a girl pregnant. So even if we're both clean, I wrap up like a champ.
     
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  5. Miko

    Miko WATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER!?

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    Just use clingfilm, mate. Does the same job, easier to apply, thinner so you feel more and you can buy a whole roll for the price of a pack of rubbers.

    Have I mentioned the advantages of using shampoo as lube?
     
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  6. Tastycles

    Tastycles Turn Bayley heel

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    The pill is free in my country.
     
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  7. Miko

    Miko WATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER!?

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    So is chlamydia, one can only hope that isn't an issue in a committed relationship.
     
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  8. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    This is a real story:

    The ANC (the ruling party over here) was the topic once of cross-dressing comedian Pieter-Dirk Uys in his Evita Bezuidenhout guise. He's an AIDS-activist and as such he's quite involved in projects that bring spread the discourse about HIV.

    So as he was using the little celebrity he has to visit one of the many, many impoverished, AIDS-ridden rural communities in my beautiful country, he noticed something - attached to the crates of condoms they were handing out were small instructional pamphlets indicating how to put on and dispose of the condom. The problem, however, was that it was STAPLED to the packet containing the condom, meaning it punctured the condom itself.

    In an interview he did concerning the matter his words were: "The government didn't just donate ten thousand free condoms, they donated ten thousand death sentences."
     
    #8
  9. Lowdown

    Lowdown Ooh baby I like it roooaaaaw!

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    It's still good to have jimmy hats even if she says she's on the pill. But I have to disagree. Sex in a non-committed relationship is great so long as the lady is good at what she does and you're feeling her (no pun intended). Plus there's no worries of having to answer to who else you've been schtumping.
     
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  10. Mighty NorCal

    Mighty NorCal SHALL WE BEGIN?

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    All girls do. Not eventually. The first time I have sex with them(well, HAD, but yea)


    I disagree on the emotional part though. Sex when you are really, truly into someone is ten times more intense, and memorable.
     
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  11. Nate DaMac

    Nate DaMac Fuck erbody but me

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    You can get rid of chlamydia. Much easier and cheaper than getting rid of a fetus.
     
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  12. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    Phrasing...
     
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  13. Big Nick Dudley

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    Condoms are awful.



    I still use them every time.
     
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  14. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    You HAVE to, bro, unless you're trying to have children or if either you or your wife/partner can't have kids.
     
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  15. Miko

    Miko WATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER!?

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    Wearing a condom (or clingfilm) is easier than getting rid of chlamydia, and you know what they say about herpes. Besides, you might enjoy that fetus one day, I've heard they're delicious.
     
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  16. Fire Marshall Bill

    Fire Marshall Bill Let me show ya somethin!!!

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    If you can't control your shit well enough to pull out in time, I feel bad for you.

    That said, if you're going to go that route with someone whom you're in a relationship, it's good to get the full spectrum of tests done for both your sakes.

    If you're going to go that route with someone you've just met, you're stupid.

    I fucking hate condoms. I get the impression I'll hate death and disease more.
     
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  17. George Steele's Barber

    George Steele's Barber Advertise Here $9.95/month

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    This thread has single handedly sent sex education back about 29 years.
     
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  18. Dirk

    Dirk Ayatollah of Coca-Cola

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    :lmao:
    Post-vasectomy LD...
     
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  19. Lowdown

    Lowdown Ooh baby I like it roooaaaaw!

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    It's all about protecting your interest. Sex without a condom is better, but he'll you're ejaculating regardless. Wrap that bad boy up and you'll still be good to go with someone else.
     
    #19
  20. Mighty NorCal

    Mighty NorCal SHALL WE BEGIN?

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    its all about moment killing, though. Nothing better than having a gir in the middle of blowing you, then grabbing her by the the throat, and throwing her backwards onto the bed (or, at times, floor, or table) and slamming it to her. (what? You guys dont do that?)


    Aint tryin to stop for a dongbag.
     
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  21. Mighty NorCal

    Mighty NorCal SHALL WE BEGIN?

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    Also, some people just cant get off with a condom. It would take me for fuckin' EVER with one on, the girl would start complaining about pain, and so I would have to uncloak to try and expedite the process.
     
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  22. The Dragon Saga

    The Dragon Saga Whale in a Teardrop

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    My second last girlfriend had some health problems when she was younger, it wound up being an infection which had to be dealt with surgically, and just before I met her a doctor had told her she was infertile. While it's shitty and shes had some issues since then, mostly due a depression brought on by this the sole positive of it for me was we didn't need protection. Sure, from STD's and shit but I keep myself clean as can be and she was a clean freak in a half. Only person I've ever met who showered three times a day no matter what.

    Sad story but it had a silver-ish lining.
     
    #22
  23. George Steele's Barber

    George Steele's Barber Advertise Here $9.95/month

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    That thread (may it rest in peace) is a better advocate for abstinence than the Catholic Church could ever dream up.
     
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