Hyorinmaru
Sit Upon The Frozen Heavens
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R-Awakening Elite Openweight Championship: Callie Clark (c) vs Mikey Stormrage (Cage match)
- Thread starter Hyorinmaru
- Start date
- Status
Richard Blonoff
Make America Rassle Again
"Busy week, you ready for all this?"
Matt and I were walking the path to the school. It was still pretty warm out here. I heard back home the temperatures were finally starting to drop, but here on the island it was still in the mid eighties with a fair bit of humidity. The long walk to get the mail each day was a workout in and of itself.
"I've been ready. You are the one who has been AWOL the last few weeks."
"I've been tending to the school while waiting on medical clearance."
"That lack of medical clearance didn't stop you from laying out Vega the other night. They still fining you over that?"
Matt nodded his head.
"Yup. Ten thousand even. Enough to rebuild a nightclub."
I had no idea what he was talking about. He was probably just being a dick. Matt was a dick fairly often.
"I'm telling you man, that temper of yours, it's an issue."
"Nah. Name one time when it got me in trouble. I mean other than last week."
"You got us DQed once before Kingdom Come. You got me beat up by Keaton and Triple X...I mean Xander by charging off after them and having me fall into an obvious trap. You got into a shouting match with Vega backstage and got booked into a match where you have nothing to gain. Those are just examples in the last couple months."
"Okay, maybe I have a tiny problem."
"Tiny? Dude when we took our company physicals post Kingdom Come, your blood pressure was like thirty points higher than mine, and I'm three hundred and fifty pounds."
"Three sixty one according to that physical."
"More for you to love. Don't think i don't read those fan fics on the internet. I also saw you watching Yuri on Ice the other day"
"Dude! I am not g...."
"Whatever. You are still my life mate regardless."
"Forgive me for this, but speaking of sexuality, you have a pretty big match yourself. Elite Openweight Title, in a cage. You ready for that?"
"Am I ready to watch Callie Clark in a cage? Bet your fine Latin ass I am."
"It's been years since you were in a cage match though."
"Don't remind me. That match was the single most embarrassing moment in WZCW history."
"You almost had it won, then TSA came down with that net gun...."
"I SAID DON'T REMIND ME!"
"It was funny. I've heard of dolphins getting caught in nets, but never whales!"
I shoved Matt before racing to the door and trying my best to keep him locked out. Just some good old fashioned hetero horseplay.
A group of students began to gather the central ring as Matt and I walked back inside the school. He called me over and we climbed onto the apron of one of the rings. The majority of the students sat or took a knee, a few kept standing. Matt signaled for them to calm down.
"We want to thank you all for choosing to further your career in this business with us. It hasn't been smooth the entire ride, and a time or two Mother Nature has thrown us a curve ball, but these last couple of months have been great. When Mikey and I started this, we had no idea we would get the turn out we did. For us, this is about more than killing free time or making extra money, its about us taking the next step in our storied careers and passing on Hall of Fame knowledge onto the next generation. This has been a great experience for all of us. That said, we hope you all understand that there will be no classes the next week while Mikey and I are in Florida for R-Awakening."
There were a few groans, but most of the class seemed to understand.
"As we announced late last week, classes would also end early today as my wonderful friend here has been chosen to be the first plus sized cover model for GQ Magazine and they want to do the shoot here."
A hand quickly shot up.
"Wasn't Jonah Hill the first overweight man on the cover?"
"Actually Mr. Hill lost that title once his weight began to constantly flux."
The voice from the back of the room answered before Matt or I could. It was the director of the shoot.
"Well looks like that is gonna wrap things up today. Just remember that Matt and I don't actually fly out until tomorrow so if you guys have any questions for us before the week off, feel free to call or text. Otherwise enjoy the week. If you are one of the lucky students who we have arranged a local booking for, the details will be in your email. Thank you all again for sticking with us through the early hiccups."
The students all stood and made small talk. We told they they were welcome to stick around to watch the shoot if they wished. I walked to grab a snack while Matt helped clear some space for the shoot.
I grabbed a burrito, but the director slapped it from my hand.
"What are you doing? You have to look fit for this shoot!"
I looked at her confused.
"I thought the whole point of me being on the cover is to promote body positivity right? Like you wanted a plus sized man, you picked me because I am plus sized and successful and want to show size shouldn't hold you back right? So why does it matter if I eat a burrito? I literally have burritos and tacos to thank for like, half of my fame."
"No, we don't give a shit about any of that. We just want to get a fat guy on the cover up try to one up Cosmo after they put Tess Holliday on their cover."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that actually."
"You already signed the contract, you are locked into this. If you don't follow through, we can sue you and your employer for breach of contract."
I let out a sigh and hung my head. Alright, just give me a few minutes to prep for this mentally.
I felt conflicted. I had made most of my career on the fact that I was heavy, but still a good athlete. Was I the fastest guy on the roster? No. But few guys could out muscle me and despite my size I was deceptively quick. My entire childhood, I felt like my size held me back, but once I got to the world of WZCW, I felt like my size worked in my favor. I wanted people to know that no matter your size or shape or color that you should never let it hold you back. I wasn't comfortable simply being used as a marketing scheme. I had no choice though. I was contractually obligated.
We went through with the shoot. I did my best, though my heart wasn't in it. I'd done cereal commercials, game commercials, voice over work, all the promo shoots for WZCW, but this was different. This had no heart.
When the shoot was finished I slumped against a nearby wall.
"What's going on man?"
I didn't bother to look up at Matt.
"So it turns out this shoot isn't about body positivity, its just about trying to one up Cosmo and piggyback off their plus sized model controversy. I thought this was gonna make a difference, turns out it's all just a ploy to increase sales and get eyes on the product."
"Since when are you afraid of free corporate promotion? You literally named us after the Taco Bell slogan."
"It's different. I love Taco Bell. I don't love being made to feel ashamed of who I am or ashamed of my size."
"Dude, you are almost four Callies. Do you know what sort of advantage that is going to give you in that cage? When you enter that cage, its like a jungle, and when you rumble in that jungle their ain't no room for the civilized. You have to get in there and throw that weight around to make sure you survive. Bring home another title to Kick Ass Academia. Look at those kids, they look up to us. You can't let one corporate bitch ruin your outlook. Look where I was when you came along. Fuck. Look at your entire career. You overcome all the bullshit. You see the good in everyone. Even if it is buried deep down, you dig and dig until you find it, then you use that big back and giant shoulders to lug that shit back to the surface. You bring us out of the dark. You did it with damn near everyone you have come across, and I know you tried with Callie. And I know you aren't gonna quit trying. So for now, just swallow this shit, use it as motivation. Get some revenge for her kicking you in the dick on live TV, and take her fucking title! I know you want to bring the good out of her, but honestly she is gonna need to be torn down before you find that good."
I looked up, but I wasn't exactly feeling what Matt had to say.
"I don't know man. I look at Callie, and I see a lot of myself. Those people she surrounds herself with, they are just hanging on for the ride. I've been there. I still am in some ways. Those people, they are gonna leave her when times get tough. You know me man, that ring, that is my home. There are seven billion people here with us floating around the sun, and I've never felt like any of them or the world we float on makes much sense. You put me in that twenty by twenty square though, and the world just clicks for me. All those wins, all those accolades, the titles, this Hall of Fame ring, I'd give it all back if it just meant I could live a normal life, to live with a quiet mind, to get back all the things I lost in pursuit of this. That's why I want to change her, to make her see that good inside her. Because one day, those people will leave. And those titles, those accolades, they aren't going to feel that void she will feel."
"Well why don't you feel her void another way. I know you Mikey, I know it has crossed your mind."
I just shook my head at him.
"It actually hasn't once. I'm gonna tell you a secret, never shared this with anyone. Growing up, when we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, all the other kids had a ton of answers. A baseball player. A cop. A doctor. A chef. You name it. My answer, my answer was to be in love. I was always told that wasn't the point of the question, but my whole life I wanted to be in love. I had that once, before my career really took off. Then as I got more and more successful, more and more time went into this, and it drove us apart. Since that day, I've been trying to fill that hole in my heart. All the titles, the endorsements, the money, the accolades, they don't come close. All the groupies and ring rats, still nothing. I'm happier here with you and Grandpa than I had been in years, but it still isn't the same. Since I got here though, there was been one girl that I feel weird around. I get those butterflies when I see her. I just want....."
"You're talking about Katherine aren't you?"
I shot a look at him.
"How did you know?"
"Dude, I'm kinda of dumb, but I'm not oblivious or blind. I've seen the way you look at her. How you rush to give her extra attention in class. How you go easy on her in the ring, like you are afraid to hurt her. How you are afraid to touch her anywhere she might object to. I figured it out pretty quickly. Plus you are the only two white people here. Seems kinda like it was bound to happen."
He was right. I just sort of nodded my head at her.
"I don't know what to do about it though. So I just sorta live with the feelings and don't act on them."
"You don't know what to do? The man who urges people to Live Mas doesn't know what to do? Dude, just take a chance! You are fucking great. Worst that happens is she says no, but believe me hermano, she won't."
I gave a small laugh at him.
"You know this is why people question our sexuality right?"
Matt just shrugged.
"Well that and we shower together."
"That was a one time occurrence!"
"Eh, it will happen again one day. But look at her over there. You think people have never given her shit about her look? She's whiter than you, she is covered in tattoos. She has gauges and piercings. She carries herself with a confidence I've rarely seen though. I've seen that same confidence in you."
I stood and pulled Matt in for a hug.
"Thanks. I appreciate you brother."
I walked over and stood on one of the trunks the camera crew had brought in for the shoot. I called the remaining students, Katherine included, around me.
"Before you all go, I have something I want to tell you. Remember these words.
'Illegitimi non carborundum'
It means don't let the bastards grind you down. Look at me. I am almost four hundred pounds. I look like I don't shower or shave. I'm messy and gross. My whole life I have been told I am too fat, too slow, too stupid, too ugly to succeed in the world. Despite my many flaws, I have found success. I have been to the mountain top. It took me a little longer than most, but I got there. I want you all to know, no matter what obstacle is put in front of you, that you can do it too. Don't let the world tell you what you can and can't do. The only limits places upon you should be the ones you put there yourself. I look out at you and I see the potential for greatness in all of you. Fuck what they tell you. I'm telling you today, the fat and skinny. The young and old. The ugly and beautiful (I made sure to smile at Katherine as I said this). Black or white...or in the case of most of you, brown. You can all do it if you set your heart to it. Fuck anyone who tells you different. I am proof that you can do it. So over the next week, remember those three words, and tell anyone who tries to get you down to eat a bag of dicks."
I hopped down and made my way out to my car. If I had a mic I would have dropped it before I got down.
Matt and I were in San Juan to catch our flight out of Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport to fly to Florida. A Pitbull song was playing on a nearby radio and Matt was grumpy.
"I'm telling you, all his music is the same. It's awful. I hate him."
"So forgive my ignorance on this, but how come he gets to say the n-word?"
He just looked at me puzzled.
"Okay so black people get to say it, I get that. Pitbull is Cuban though. Fat Joe says it though and he isn't black, he is Puerto Rican. Same with Big Pun back in the day. DJ Khalid is Palestinian and says it. I just wanna know where the line is drawn. Like I've lived in Puerto Rico a few months now, so do I get the n-pass?"
"You should probably just drop this."
"Look dude I'm curious. It just seems like a good filler word. I listen to a lot of rap, and sometimes I am singing along and I have to ask myself if its okay for me to say it. What if I don't use the hard 'r' version? Maybe I could just...."
I just cut off by my phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Stormrage, we are sending you a preview of your cover for the upcoming GQ. Please check your email and confirm you have received it."
I pulled up my email app and told her it was in my inbox and she promptly hung up. I opened it and showed Matt.
"You think they would have used a better photo. Plus who did the text headings? It looks like a cheap online program."
I shrugged my shoulders.
"You still worried about Callie?"
I shook my head.
"Nah. I thought about it last night. To fight the abyss, one must know it. Callie and I are two sides of the same coin. In a different life, we could have been best friends."
"The abyss? Aren't you making this way deeper than it needs to be."
"Nah. Plus abyss sounds like a bitch and Callie is a bitch so I'm rolling with it."
Matt laughed a little as he put his bag through the x-ray machine. I hated dealing with TSA, but as anyone who watched my last cage match will know, this TSA wasn't the biggest pain in the ass TSA had ever been for me.
Matt and I were walking the path to the school. It was still pretty warm out here. I heard back home the temperatures were finally starting to drop, but here on the island it was still in the mid eighties with a fair bit of humidity. The long walk to get the mail each day was a workout in and of itself.
"I've been ready. You are the one who has been AWOL the last few weeks."
"I've been tending to the school while waiting on medical clearance."
"That lack of medical clearance didn't stop you from laying out Vega the other night. They still fining you over that?"
Matt nodded his head.
"Yup. Ten thousand even. Enough to rebuild a nightclub."
I had no idea what he was talking about. He was probably just being a dick. Matt was a dick fairly often.
"I'm telling you man, that temper of yours, it's an issue."
"Nah. Name one time when it got me in trouble. I mean other than last week."
"You got us DQed once before Kingdom Come. You got me beat up by Keaton and Triple X...I mean Xander by charging off after them and having me fall into an obvious trap. You got into a shouting match with Vega backstage and got booked into a match where you have nothing to gain. Those are just examples in the last couple months."
"Okay, maybe I have a tiny problem."
"Tiny? Dude when we took our company physicals post Kingdom Come, your blood pressure was like thirty points higher than mine, and I'm three hundred and fifty pounds."
"Three sixty one according to that physical."
"More for you to love. Don't think i don't read those fan fics on the internet. I also saw you watching Yuri on Ice the other day"
"Dude! I am not g...."
"Whatever. You are still my life mate regardless."
"Forgive me for this, but speaking of sexuality, you have a pretty big match yourself. Elite Openweight Title, in a cage. You ready for that?"
"Am I ready to watch Callie Clark in a cage? Bet your fine Latin ass I am."
"It's been years since you were in a cage match though."
"Don't remind me. That match was the single most embarrassing moment in WZCW history."
"You almost had it won, then TSA came down with that net gun...."
"I SAID DON'T REMIND ME!"
"It was funny. I've heard of dolphins getting caught in nets, but never whales!"
I shoved Matt before racing to the door and trying my best to keep him locked out. Just some good old fashioned hetero horseplay.
A group of students began to gather the central ring as Matt and I walked back inside the school. He called me over and we climbed onto the apron of one of the rings. The majority of the students sat or took a knee, a few kept standing. Matt signaled for them to calm down.
"We want to thank you all for choosing to further your career in this business with us. It hasn't been smooth the entire ride, and a time or two Mother Nature has thrown us a curve ball, but these last couple of months have been great. When Mikey and I started this, we had no idea we would get the turn out we did. For us, this is about more than killing free time or making extra money, its about us taking the next step in our storied careers and passing on Hall of Fame knowledge onto the next generation. This has been a great experience for all of us. That said, we hope you all understand that there will be no classes the next week while Mikey and I are in Florida for R-Awakening."
There were a few groans, but most of the class seemed to understand.
"As we announced late last week, classes would also end early today as my wonderful friend here has been chosen to be the first plus sized cover model for GQ Magazine and they want to do the shoot here."
A hand quickly shot up.
"Wasn't Jonah Hill the first overweight man on the cover?"
"Actually Mr. Hill lost that title once his weight began to constantly flux."
The voice from the back of the room answered before Matt or I could. It was the director of the shoot.
"Well looks like that is gonna wrap things up today. Just remember that Matt and I don't actually fly out until tomorrow so if you guys have any questions for us before the week off, feel free to call or text. Otherwise enjoy the week. If you are one of the lucky students who we have arranged a local booking for, the details will be in your email. Thank you all again for sticking with us through the early hiccups."
The students all stood and made small talk. We told they they were welcome to stick around to watch the shoot if they wished. I walked to grab a snack while Matt helped clear some space for the shoot.
I grabbed a burrito, but the director slapped it from my hand.
"What are you doing? You have to look fit for this shoot!"
I looked at her confused.
"I thought the whole point of me being on the cover is to promote body positivity right? Like you wanted a plus sized man, you picked me because I am plus sized and successful and want to show size shouldn't hold you back right? So why does it matter if I eat a burrito? I literally have burritos and tacos to thank for like, half of my fame."
"No, we don't give a shit about any of that. We just want to get a fat guy on the cover up try to one up Cosmo after they put Tess Holliday on their cover."
"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that actually."
"You already signed the contract, you are locked into this. If you don't follow through, we can sue you and your employer for breach of contract."
I let out a sigh and hung my head. Alright, just give me a few minutes to prep for this mentally.
I felt conflicted. I had made most of my career on the fact that I was heavy, but still a good athlete. Was I the fastest guy on the roster? No. But few guys could out muscle me and despite my size I was deceptively quick. My entire childhood, I felt like my size held me back, but once I got to the world of WZCW, I felt like my size worked in my favor. I wanted people to know that no matter your size or shape or color that you should never let it hold you back. I wasn't comfortable simply being used as a marketing scheme. I had no choice though. I was contractually obligated.
We went through with the shoot. I did my best, though my heart wasn't in it. I'd done cereal commercials, game commercials, voice over work, all the promo shoots for WZCW, but this was different. This had no heart.
When the shoot was finished I slumped against a nearby wall.
"What's going on man?"
I didn't bother to look up at Matt.
"So it turns out this shoot isn't about body positivity, its just about trying to one up Cosmo and piggyback off their plus sized model controversy. I thought this was gonna make a difference, turns out it's all just a ploy to increase sales and get eyes on the product."
"Since when are you afraid of free corporate promotion? You literally named us after the Taco Bell slogan."
"It's different. I love Taco Bell. I don't love being made to feel ashamed of who I am or ashamed of my size."
"Dude, you are almost four Callies. Do you know what sort of advantage that is going to give you in that cage? When you enter that cage, its like a jungle, and when you rumble in that jungle their ain't no room for the civilized. You have to get in there and throw that weight around to make sure you survive. Bring home another title to Kick Ass Academia. Look at those kids, they look up to us. You can't let one corporate bitch ruin your outlook. Look where I was when you came along. Fuck. Look at your entire career. You overcome all the bullshit. You see the good in everyone. Even if it is buried deep down, you dig and dig until you find it, then you use that big back and giant shoulders to lug that shit back to the surface. You bring us out of the dark. You did it with damn near everyone you have come across, and I know you tried with Callie. And I know you aren't gonna quit trying. So for now, just swallow this shit, use it as motivation. Get some revenge for her kicking you in the dick on live TV, and take her fucking title! I know you want to bring the good out of her, but honestly she is gonna need to be torn down before you find that good."
I looked up, but I wasn't exactly feeling what Matt had to say.
"I don't know man. I look at Callie, and I see a lot of myself. Those people she surrounds herself with, they are just hanging on for the ride. I've been there. I still am in some ways. Those people, they are gonna leave her when times get tough. You know me man, that ring, that is my home. There are seven billion people here with us floating around the sun, and I've never felt like any of them or the world we float on makes much sense. You put me in that twenty by twenty square though, and the world just clicks for me. All those wins, all those accolades, the titles, this Hall of Fame ring, I'd give it all back if it just meant I could live a normal life, to live with a quiet mind, to get back all the things I lost in pursuit of this. That's why I want to change her, to make her see that good inside her. Because one day, those people will leave. And those titles, those accolades, they aren't going to feel that void she will feel."
"Well why don't you feel her void another way. I know you Mikey, I know it has crossed your mind."
I just shook my head at him.
"It actually hasn't once. I'm gonna tell you a secret, never shared this with anyone. Growing up, when we were asked what we wanted to be when we grew up, all the other kids had a ton of answers. A baseball player. A cop. A doctor. A chef. You name it. My answer, my answer was to be in love. I was always told that wasn't the point of the question, but my whole life I wanted to be in love. I had that once, before my career really took off. Then as I got more and more successful, more and more time went into this, and it drove us apart. Since that day, I've been trying to fill that hole in my heart. All the titles, the endorsements, the money, the accolades, they don't come close. All the groupies and ring rats, still nothing. I'm happier here with you and Grandpa than I had been in years, but it still isn't the same. Since I got here though, there was been one girl that I feel weird around. I get those butterflies when I see her. I just want....."
"You're talking about Katherine aren't you?"
I shot a look at him.
"How did you know?"
"Dude, I'm kinda of dumb, but I'm not oblivious or blind. I've seen the way you look at her. How you rush to give her extra attention in class. How you go easy on her in the ring, like you are afraid to hurt her. How you are afraid to touch her anywhere she might object to. I figured it out pretty quickly. Plus you are the only two white people here. Seems kinda like it was bound to happen."
He was right. I just sort of nodded my head at her.
"I don't know what to do about it though. So I just sorta live with the feelings and don't act on them."
"You don't know what to do? The man who urges people to Live Mas doesn't know what to do? Dude, just take a chance! You are fucking great. Worst that happens is she says no, but believe me hermano, she won't."
I gave a small laugh at him.
"You know this is why people question our sexuality right?"
Matt just shrugged.
"Well that and we shower together."
"That was a one time occurrence!"
"Eh, it will happen again one day. But look at her over there. You think people have never given her shit about her look? She's whiter than you, she is covered in tattoos. She has gauges and piercings. She carries herself with a confidence I've rarely seen though. I've seen that same confidence in you."
I stood and pulled Matt in for a hug.
"Thanks. I appreciate you brother."
I walked over and stood on one of the trunks the camera crew had brought in for the shoot. I called the remaining students, Katherine included, around me.
"Before you all go, I have something I want to tell you. Remember these words.
'Illegitimi non carborundum'
It means don't let the bastards grind you down. Look at me. I am almost four hundred pounds. I look like I don't shower or shave. I'm messy and gross. My whole life I have been told I am too fat, too slow, too stupid, too ugly to succeed in the world. Despite my many flaws, I have found success. I have been to the mountain top. It took me a little longer than most, but I got there. I want you all to know, no matter what obstacle is put in front of you, that you can do it too. Don't let the world tell you what you can and can't do. The only limits places upon you should be the ones you put there yourself. I look out at you and I see the potential for greatness in all of you. Fuck what they tell you. I'm telling you today, the fat and skinny. The young and old. The ugly and beautiful (I made sure to smile at Katherine as I said this). Black or white...or in the case of most of you, brown. You can all do it if you set your heart to it. Fuck anyone who tells you different. I am proof that you can do it. So over the next week, remember those three words, and tell anyone who tries to get you down to eat a bag of dicks."
I hopped down and made my way out to my car. If I had a mic I would have dropped it before I got down.
THE NEXT DAY
Matt and I were in San Juan to catch our flight out of Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport to fly to Florida. A Pitbull song was playing on a nearby radio and Matt was grumpy.
"I'm telling you, all his music is the same. It's awful. I hate him."
"So forgive my ignorance on this, but how come he gets to say the n-word?"
He just looked at me puzzled.
"Okay so black people get to say it, I get that. Pitbull is Cuban though. Fat Joe says it though and he isn't black, he is Puerto Rican. Same with Big Pun back in the day. DJ Khalid is Palestinian and says it. I just wanna know where the line is drawn. Like I've lived in Puerto Rico a few months now, so do I get the n-pass?"
"You should probably just drop this."
"Look dude I'm curious. It just seems like a good filler word. I listen to a lot of rap, and sometimes I am singing along and I have to ask myself if its okay for me to say it. What if I don't use the hard 'r' version? Maybe I could just...."
I just cut off by my phone ringing.
"Hello?"
"Mr. Stormrage, we are sending you a preview of your cover for the upcoming GQ. Please check your email and confirm you have received it."
I pulled up my email app and told her it was in my inbox and she promptly hung up. I opened it and showed Matt.
"You think they would have used a better photo. Plus who did the text headings? It looks like a cheap online program."
I shrugged my shoulders.
"You still worried about Callie?"
I shook my head.
"Nah. I thought about it last night. To fight the abyss, one must know it. Callie and I are two sides of the same coin. In a different life, we could have been best friends."
"The abyss? Aren't you making this way deeper than it needs to be."
"Nah. Plus abyss sounds like a bitch and Callie is a bitch so I'm rolling with it."
Matt laughed a little as he put his bag through the x-ray machine. I hated dealing with TSA, but as anyone who watched my last cage match will know, this TSA wasn't the biggest pain in the ass TSA had ever been for me.
Skairipa Matrix
3 Time Elite Openweight Champion
#QueenOfTheCage
Sometime Last Week: MegaCon in Tampa, Florida, Early Morning
Sometime Last Week: MegaCon in Tampa, Florida, Early Morning
I had arrived at the con plenty early, and my table was all set up with an hour to go before doors opened for VIP's. Of course I always do this, because that's the best time to shop! After all who wants to deal with annoying losers getting in your way while you look at things? Even before I was super famous I hated that about comic cons. Plus I was about to be stuck dealing with Mikey all day thanks to our terrible boss, and I knew I would be swarmed by fans, so now was my time to look around at the vendor booths and find all the best stuff. Away I went to do some shopping.
I first walked through all the funko pop stands, because obvi I need me them exclusives! My best score was the San Diego Comic Con exclusive glow in the dark Nearly Headless Nick, sure it was 150 dollars, but that's nothing for someone with as much money as me, if they had two I would have bought them both, oh well. Even though I'm totes a Slytherin, Nearly Headless Nick always was my favorite ghost. After buying a couple other less special pops, I made my way over to a booth that had mystery boxes, I don't know what it is about mystery boxes but they're so damn tempting! I saw they had ones for just about every theme you could think of from Harry Potter to Marvel to DC to Game of Thrones and many more. As I was thinking about which box I may want, the girl working the booth walked over, and instantly I could tell by the look on her face, she was a fan. Of course she was, everyone is. But she was starstruck, could I use this to my advantage? Let's find out.
Oh my god you're Callie Clark! I didn't know you were gonna be here, are you one of the guests? I'm such a big fan.
What kind of big fan doesn't have my post notifications turned on so she can make sure she sees every single thing I post!? Or if she does have post notifications on, why does she not rush to her phone every single time she gets a notification!? Hmph.
Yeah I'm signing autographs for a few hours today, I tweeted it out but I guess you missed it.
Of course I had to throw a little shade.
Yeah I've been busy setting up the booth here, barely had time to even look at my phone today.
She chuckled, I did too even if I didn't find it funny. After all I had to play nice if I wanted to try and get free stuff. I'm not stupid after all.
Will you be stopping by the table for an autograph later?
Oh I have two already at home, but maybe. After all I don't have one from you on a picture of you holding the Elite Championship yet. Did you bring it with you?
Of course I did, where I go, it goes. I just left it with one of the workers here, it needed polishing.
I grinned, I think she might have thought I was joking since she laughed, but it wasn't a joke. If he didn't wanna polish my baby then he shouldn't have asked if there was anything he could do for me, let's just hope he gets my coffee order right and he makes my baby shine for pictures today.
So I've met you before then? Or did you buy the pictures online?
I raised an eyebrow, she didn't look familiar but I don't remember most of the fans anyway, after all most say and do the same things, which makes them blend together.
Yeah I met you both times, once at New York Comic Con and once at one in California. I doubt you remember me but I was the one who gave you the custom pop of yourself and a drawing I did of you and Gabi.
Ugh Gabi, I still wasn't talking to her and was still a bit of a sore subject. After hearing her say that though, she did ring a bell. After all it's not often fans are giving me gifts, and that pop of me was pretty cool, even if it wasn't an official one, another thing I'll have to get done myself I guess. I didn't remember her name still, but that didn't mean I couldn't act like I fully remembered her.
Ohh yeah I remember you now! That pop is on my shelf at home still, and that was a really good drawing. Didn't you ask me to follow you on twitter for your birthday this year?
Oh my god yes!
I could see her blush in embarrassment, normally I don't follow fans but I was in a good mood, and might have been drunk when I did it. Besides I muted her awhile ago anyway, so it's not like I even have to see whatever crap she tweets. I was totes getting a free mystery box out from this girl, one way or another.
I'm surprised you remember me, but that's pretty cool. You know I really hope you beat Mikey Stormrage, you know everyone is saying you two should just be friends because of how similar your interests are?
I rolled my eyes.
Ew! I will never be his friend. We might have some similar interests but he's far too immature for me. Besides he's everything that's wrong with nerd culture! I mean look at him! When you think of a stereotypical nerd, you picture him! The fat slob guy who likes fart and penis jokes, probably plays dungeons and dragons, probably lived in his parents house until Tastic took him to live with him, hell he's probably still a virgin who crushes on anime girls!
I shook my head in disgust.
Me? I'm everything right with nerd culture. I'm not just a stereotype, in fact I'd say Mikey and I are basically total opposites outside of liking nerd culture. Wouldn't you?
I raised my eyebrow, and she quickly nodded in agreement.
Totally. But you know how people are, they get something in their head and that's how it is, no matter what anybody says.
Ugh I know, what's your name again?
Sam.
That's right, I was thinking that and just couldn't remember for sure.
Hell no I didn't remember her name, but I needed her to think I did. But now let's see if Sam here wants to give me a deal.
So um, are you looking to buy one of these boxes? Since you were checking them out before I came over.
Maybe, how much are they?
50. But for you, let's say 40.
Ten dollars off already, oh yeah.
Hmm not bad, can you do 2 for 50?
I watched with annoyance as she shook her head, how dare she tell me no! Nobody tells me no!
No, but I do offer people 2 for 90 usually, so maybe 2 for 85?
Now she wanted to charge me 5 dollars more than it would have been originally! What the hell! I guess she's not as starstruck as I thought she'd be, dammit. I guess I have to give her props for being savvy with her business, it's how I've managed to make bank before at cons. Suddenly, I got an idea.
How about 60, and I'll give you a free autographed picture, and I'll take a picture with you, letting you hold MY Elite Championship? And that's special because I don't let anybody else hold it.
I could see her mulling it over, so I shot her a friendly smile, a smile that can win over anybody. Finally she nodded her head, HA! I won!
Okay yeah I can do that, it would be pretty cool to hold the belt for a picture, which two you want anyway?
Hmm let's go....Marvel and DC. Might as well get the best of both worlds right?
Good choices.
She grabbed the two boxes, and handed them to me as I handed her 60 bucks.
Thanks, let me go drop these off at my table and get my belt back, and I'll be back over.
I carried the boxes away, feeling proud of myself for the great deal I talked her into. But really it was a win-win I say, she gets another priceless autograph from me, AND a special photo op, I get 40 bucks off goodies. I thought about screwing her over and not coming back to the table, but she'd probably find me, plus I'm not THAT mean, at least not to my superfans. Besides, I didn't pay for the pictures I have with me, and I can make Bobo, or Bilbo, or whatever that loser's name was, polish my championship again later if I want to get her grimey hands washed off it. Now to hope these boxes have some good swag for me. This will make dealing with Mikey later much easier though.
The Day After Ascension: Callie's Hotel Room, Ocala, Florida
I was officially past Ascension, and finally I didn't have to play nice with Mikey, we were back where we belonged, being enemies. I had changed into my pajamas for the night as I was watching some Syfy movie on the hotel TV, Sid laying next to me on the bed, I chuckled as I thought back to Ascension, and the brilliant ruse I pulled on Mikey.
I still can't believe that loser thought he could perv on me all day at comic con, try to get in my head by coming out dressed as Gabi, and worst of all, come for MY title, and I'd really hug him! HA!
I shook my head, as Sid looked at me, confused by the sudden talking, but after a moment he decided to ignore it and put his head down.
Of course I acted like I would, I had to sucker him into the trap. But boy did that feel good, kicking him right in the balls, and smashing him across the face with my championship. At least now he knows that's the closest he'll EVER get to holding this, at least until I'm done with it.
I picked up my Elite Championship off the night stand next to me, and held it up proudly.
You and I are a great pair aren't we? It's a shame the bosses don't just accept that and keep trying to take you away from me. Together, we've done great things, and we have many more great things left to do still don't we?
I smirked and put it back down on the night stand. A few minutes later as I was beginning to actually get into the plot of the movie, my phone began ringing, it was Bates, and to my surprise he was trying to facetime me, I guess he finally got with the times and learned how it works, good for him. I answered and upon seeing his face pop up on the screen, smiled and waved to him.
Hey Bates! How's it going?
Oh it's going alright, getting chilly up here in New York. How's Florida? That's where you are currently correct?
Yup! Nice and warm here, but after this next show we're going back to New York for a round, and what good timing it'll be too since I'll be fresh off an amazing victory in my cage match with Mikey Stormrage! I bet the city is gonna throw a championship parade for me!
I smirked and chuckled, sadly they probably won't, but really they should. I am their greatest champion since Derek Jeter after all. And really it's only a matter of time until I become a bigger hero in New York than him.
Well I wouldn't expect that, but you'll have a warm welcome back here like always of course. Although I hear you and your sister aren't getting along right now?
I nodded, of course she told Bates about it, probably expects him to fix the problems.
No we aren't, she tried to embarrass me and I'm not happy about it. And before you say anything, I still don't wanna talk to her.
I shook my head sharply.
Maybe I'll consider talking to her when I'm in New York, but I make no promises. Now is that what you called me for? Or did you have something else to talk to me about?
Bates shook his head.
No no, you girl's having an argument is hardly my problem, you're not children anymore. I called because I know you have a big title defense coming up and you haven't messaged me yet about which costume you need me to send you to wear for your match. Besides the fact I just wanted to check in with you, as I know you've been busy with shows, travel, cons, and have had Sid with you for awhile.
Sid perked up at hearing his name, and poked his head over in front of the phone to investigate. I laughed at that as did Bates, who said hello to him and waved. I pulled Sid back from the phone and onto my lap before speaking up again.
Well first off I'm doing well, as is this good boy.
I scratched Sid behind the ear like he likes, and kept talking.
But I did kind of forget about a costume didn't I? But hmmm let's see, it's October now right? I think it's time to get into the Halloween spirit don't you? Send me the Chucky costume. Oh and while you're at it, send me my other horror costumes, I need options for the rest of my matches this month after all.
Certainly, do you want your Freddy Kruger one too? Since you already wore it over the summer? I know you've yet to wear the same costume twice.
Hmm...nah you can leave that one there. I have enough other ones to choose from that I don't need to repeat that one. Besides I've gone this long without any repeats, I can't start now!
I shook my head.
Not until I have to. Anyway you'll overnight those to me? I'll text you the address.
Of course, you know I'll make sure they get to you as soon as possible. So how are you preparing for this match anyway? Facing a hall of famer, that won't be easy. Even if it's one who tends to joke around.
Pfft the only thing I'm worried about is the size difference, that might limit my moveset a bit. But on the bright side, no way is that fat ass gonna be able to carry that 500 pounds of weight over the top of the cage! And would he even fit through the cage door? Well okay maybe, I mean he has to enter the cage to begin with so they'll probably make sure it's wide enough.
I laughed at my own bad joke, but Bates shook his head and looked serious.
Sure that might be an advantage but you forget, he could still win by pinfall or submission, you can't overlook him. I mean this is a former world champ you're in the ring with, and you likely only made him mad with your actions on Ascension.
I'm not overlooking him, and I don't care how mad he gets. Nobody is taking my championship. I busted my ass to earn it back after Lynx stole it, and then I shocked the world when I retained it at Kingdom Come despite the odds. But I've seen plenty of Mikey's matches Bates, I know him well. Plus it's not like I haven't beaten hall of famers, I made Matt Tastic my bitch months ago after all.
I smirked proudly and went from laying down to sitting up on the bed. Deep down I knew I was going to be in for a hell of a fight against Mikey, but I was ready for whatever he could throw at me, and this was a chance for me to add another big name to the list of my victims. I mean sure I do own a triple threat victory over him, but that's not nearly as sweet as being him one on one would be. Plus I don't consider that a full victory.
Yes I know you've beat Tastic, and of everyone else you've beat, quite the impressive list you have going. But I just don't wanna see you overlook someone because of the way they look, I'd argue Mikey is just as tough as you. After all he's been through quite a few wars over the years hasn't he?
Yeah, I'll give him that much. He's tough, and he's been through a lot. But between you and me, I don't think his mind is fully on this match. He's probably still heartbroken over Eve Taylor, and now he's got his wrestling school in Mexico to worry about too, along with everything else. Me? My only focus is beating him, and proving once again to all the haters that I am every bit as good as I say I am.
Bates nodded as he listened to me, I appreciated his concern but I've done my preparations already, I know what I'm going up against. I know this might be the toughest match I've had since that Mayhem Rules match with Matt Tastic, which be tee dubs, still needs to be banned, but there was nothing more I could do to prepare.
You know if you ask me, I bet if a few things were different, maybe in an alternate universe, you two would be friends. After all you do have a good number of things in common.
Why does everybody keep saying that!?
Ugh, I am nothing like him. Sure we both probably watch some of the same shows and movies, but he is extremely annoying, a disgusting pig, and an immature idiot! If there's a universe where him and I are friends, it's a universe where Callie is a loser who needs to grow the hell up, I would never wanna see that universe.
I shook my head and shuttered in disgust, as Bates simply smiled a bit before responding.
Okay, well I wish you luck Callie, I know you'll give it everything you have to win and I hope that's enough and I hope you don't get hurt, I know a steel cage match can be pretty dangerous. Are you worried about the cage itself?
I stopped to think for a moment, until now that hadn't really crossed my mind. I had put all my focus onto Mikey but Bates had a point. I was going to be locked inside a 15 foot steel monster, and getting slammed into it was going to hurt. A lot. Maybe I had better see what I'm up against before hand.
I guess I haven't really thought about it, but yeah I'd say I'm a little worried. I know it's gonna hurt getting thrown into it, or off it. Plus I've never been in a cage match, I don't know what to expect with it.
Yes I expect it's quite different being in a cage match than watching one, you'll need to make sure your shoes are good for climbing it if you plan to do that.
Yeah well that much is the least of my worries. But maybe you have a point, maybe once the cage is all set up I'll get to the arena early and check it out, see what I'm up against.
I shrugged.
Hell, maybe I'll come up with a fun new way to hurt Mikey with it while I'm checking it out.
I grinned and let out a little chuckle, as Bates raised an eyebrow at me.
If you say so, but I'd hope you don't try to hurt him...
Bates, if it means keeping my championship, I'd break him in half.
I looked at him with a cold stare, it was cruel but it was true. Being a champion means everything to me and I would stop at nothing to stay champ.
But I'd much rather win in about 5 minutes than have some long war with him, so we'll see what happens. I'm gonna let you go though so I can watch this movie starting, I think it's the latest Sharknado movie and you know how I love those movies.
Yes I know, you still have all of them saved on the DVR.
And don't you delete them!
We said our goodbyes and both hung up as I laid back down and got under the covers of the bed as I settled in to watch the movie before I'd go to bed. I had one last thing to do before my match, and it would be a few days before I could do it. So I guess in the meantime I'd enjoy a couple days off here, maybe I'll go to the parks, after all I never have been to Harry Potter World. Soon would it be time to play inside the cage, and I already had a whole bunch of ideas how I was going to hurt Stormrage in route to beating him yet again, and continuing my reign as the Elite Queen.
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