No Other HQ Has Swaggah Like Us

Discussion in 'Campaign Headquarters' started by Coco, Apr 9, 2012.

  1. Coco

    Coco Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    [​IMG]

    Look at that picture. No, stop looking at this paragraph. I want you to really look at that picture. It's okay. I can wait. You given it a nice, thorough gander? Good. Now what's wrong with it? Well that's obvious: Jack Swagger is the World Heavyweight Champion. It's disgusting, isn't it? I know you smarky types tend to be wild about words like "honour," and "legacy," and "deserving." And a photo like this probably makes you vomit in your mouth. Yes, we've all heard Jack Swagger speak. And while he's probably an intelligent person once you get to know him, the way he fumbles the ball verbally often leads me to think he's a high-functioning lobotomy survivor. You see that enthusiasm he has for push-ups and that battle he regularly wages with the English language? I knew a kid like that in high school. Nicest guy in the world. Really helped me find my way around a weight room. But I always knew that if he were to achieve his dream of being a world champ in the WWE, he'd have to overcome some serious obstacles. And Jack Swagger has done just that. Austin never had to win those battles. Hogan never had to win those battles. And while my knowledge of the old school is lacking, I think that Gelgarin would tell us all that Thesz never had to win those battles. Swagger is the ultimate underdog, a man who made it farther than he ever should in life (although really, he did that when he made if past the fourth grade; lol, Oklahoma). Want to upset the establish order? Then let's put one more accomplishment under Swagger's belt: WrestleZone Tournament winner.

    Sure, that entire paragraph could have been about Scott Steiner (okay, maybe not the aside about Oklahoma...). But it wasn't. Because Swagger caught the Double Whammy by being Bland-As-Hell to boot. And yet there have been times where the man still overcame that and got nuclear, World Championship level heel heat that he had no right to be receiving. Steiner getting that kind of reaction doesn't seem so bizarre. But anyone other than a speech therapist giving Jack Swagger any sort of attention just seems so foreign and unnatural. He's achieved the impossible. Surely he's to be rewarded for it.

    Swagger for WZT2012 Winner
     
    #1
  2. Coco

    Coco Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    Wrestling's first openly furry world champion? I'll leave it to the scholars to say.

    [​IMG]
     
    #2
  3. Mr. Artistic guy

    Mr. Artistic guy Better Off This Way

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    Given that Bret Hart was also bland as hell before Swagger was causing microphones to drown in saliva, I need a reason why I shouldn't vote for the most dreary there is, was and ever would have been (McGuillicutty is still employed, I presume..)
     
    #3
  4. The Talon

    The Talon Occasional Pre-Show

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    Damn, tough luck.
     
    #4
  5. Big Nick Dudley

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    1997 called. It wants you to shut up, and watch.

    I can't promise I'll end up voting for Jack, but I'll try.
     
    #5
  6. PsychoBlack

    PsychoBlack Damn it feels good to be a Taylor!!

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    It's so much funnier that this is coco's thread
     
    #6
  7. Pay Per Ghost

    Pay Per Ghost squashed Disco Inferno to become

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    One of the best heels I have seen.



    Something Swagger wasn't. Segue! So no I can't sorry. Rock's the crush this year baby.
     
    #7
  8. Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam Rear Naked Bloke

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    #8
  9. Coco

    Coco Mid-Card Championship Winner

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    One good day out of 365 does not an overdog make.
     
    #9
  10. Uncle Sam

    Uncle Sam Rear Naked Bloke

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    I had another one lined up but some prick deleted it off YouTube. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to sabotage me.
     
    #10

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