My idea for Star Wars 9.

Discussion in 'The Writing Gallery' started by Albert T, Jan 9, 2018.


Do you think this is a good idea for Star Wars 9?

  1. Yes

  2. No

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  1. Albert T

    Albert T Occasional Pre-Show

    Nov 7, 2012
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    I’ve watched the recent “Star Wars” movies and, despite feeling that they are beautifully filmed, believe that the new pictures lack the ingenuity of the original trilogy. “The Force Awakens” was a retread of the original and didn’t add very many new ideas. “The Last Jedi” was a marvelously photographed cobbling of the memorable parts of “The Empire Strikes Back” and “The Return of the Jedi”. I liked the prequels, despite the bad acting and the dismal dialogue, and I see those films as being very imaginative and creative, which I haven’t always found to be the case with the new pictures.

    I’m going to write an outline of what I think Disney should make for the third picture in the sequel trilogy. I won’t go into explicit detail on every-thing, but I will give a reason for why some-thing is happening. All right, here we go.

    Star Wars
    Episode IX
    Victory Of The Force

    The picture starts with the “Millennium Falcon” having been captured and loaded onto the pirate ship “Slaughter”, where they are being taken to the planet of Noirion, the epicenter of the criminal syndicates of the Outer Rim. Leia has been put into carbon freeze already and the only remaining members of the Resistance/Rebellion, on account of the attack on the ship to ensure a successful claiming of the Falcon are, Rey, Finn, Rose Tico, Poe Dameron, BB-8, C3-PO, R2-D2, LT. Connix, Chewbacca and the Porg.

    Aboard a First Order Star Destroyer, Kylo Ren battles a mutiny that is led by General Hux. Ren is eventually defeated when Hux unleashes Snoke’s secret apprentice, who was hidden on Kanos, known as Kylo Dread. Dread has several Kylo apprentices, who are Force-sensitive beings known as the Rade (who are armed with darksabers that have a red hue around the black blade), he trained while in hiding. Dread is also flanked by a small army of Pratorian Guards. Ren escapes the battle with the Rade and the Pratorian Guards and flees through space, until he is captured by a pirate ship and taken to Noirion.

    Kiio forces Rey, Kylo Ren, Finn and Chewbacca to fight in the Capatheon, a massive mechanized arena where people are clad in armor and do battle. After several bouts, Finn fights Captain Phasma, who was able to escape her fiery doom with the help of the hacker “DJ” (Benicio Del Toro’s character from “The Last Jedi”). As this happens, Poe and “DJ” are helping Lando Calrissian and his spawn Brock and Maya, free the prisoners on Noirion, chief among them are the members of the Rebellion that had seemingly abandoned the Rebels at the end of “The Last Jedi”, including an ill Boba Fett (he survived the Sarlacc pit as he did in the Expanded Universe) and Maz Kanata (captured after her blaster fight in the last movie). After Finn loses to Phasma, Rey and Ren are put into a death-match, where the two have their lightsaber fight. At the climax of the battle, Rey incapacitates Ren and, with his throat at her blade’s end, refuses to kill him. Kiio activates his gladiator droids and sends them to fight the pair, in an attempt to appease the crowd. Rey/Ren conflict serves as a distraction for the heroes to sneak into the control tower of the prison, where they release said prisoners and lead a revolt on the city. With the revolution being televised to all of the planets left in the galaxy, Rose has “DJ” hack into the television signal. Rose urges the people of the galaxy to make one last stand against tyranny. The galactic citizens attack the First Order armadas that have colonized their planets until the FO troops retreat. The heroes begin their escape, but not before trying to rescue Leia, who is still frozen in carbonite. Kiio destroys Leia and her soul (secretly) merges with Connix. Phasma joins the heroes and kills Kiio. Kylo Ren joins with the heroes, seeking revenge on Hux and Kylo Dread.

    Luke visits Rey and tells her they need to travel to Eliquoth in the unknown region, which is where the First Order is now going with every soldier they have. The heroes and the prisoners inform the rest of the Rebellion that they are going to Eliquoth and give them the coordinates. Realizing that the hyper-drive on the Falcon is broken, Poe, Finn, Rose and Chewbacca take BB-8, C3-PO and R2-D2 to Troydaria to quickly find a replacement for the mechanism necessary to fix it (the other people are aboard the ships they appropriated while escaping Noirion, so they are continuing the trek to Eliquoth) Poe and the crew battle a demented droid army that has conquered the planet, led by the mad droid Vector-6 while finding the part (the planet specializes in used technology [including old droids], and builds new items as well). The crew makes their escape and, after installing the new part, also activates a new item they found on Troydaria: a cloaking device, which scramble signals that would make it easy to track a ship during hyper-space (this can also be used for other ships as long as they have access to the code necessary include them).

    The ships soon arrive on Eliquoth and the heroes are welcomed by Danth Vior, who brings them to a temple dedicated to teaching the Force. Rey learns that Eliqouth is the origin planet of the Jedi and that both the first Lightsaber, made of a white Kyber crystal, and the Darksaber, with its black Kyber crystal, are held and protected in their main temple. These Jedi do not believe in the religion that the popular version has taught for thousands of years, but in the virtues that Luke actually spoke of in “The Last Jedi”. The Jedi have hidden on Eliquoth because they are pacifists. We learn that the first true Jedi Knights (not simply the scholars of the Force now living on Eliquoth) were armored warriors that arose to fight a tyrannical threat on Eliquoth. The first Jedi Knights were Rorar Qane, Manatath Kor, Brusius Veng, Varnasas Tror, Alkona Nier, Zakeer Zala and Darth Vader. The seven knights vanquished their foe, Kanaan Venkal, and his army of Pratorian warriors (the ones that protected Snoke in “The Last Jedi”). Vader eventually proclaimed himself the king of the Jedi and attempted to conquer the galaxy with his disciples, the Sith. Vader was defeated and his remaining disciples were scattered throughout the galaxy, forever banished from Eliquoth (this is why Emperor Palpatine named Anakin “Darth Vader”, as he saw the chosen one as being the rebirth of the Sith, not simply his next apprentice).

    Several revelations are disclosed during this period of the picture, including:

    1. The Knights of Ren are on Eliquoth as a form of voluntary exile, due to their guilt in destroying the new Jedi.
    2. Captain Phasma is a Jedi and native of Eliquoth. Tenilla Phasma, which is her full name, is a descendant of the lineage of Kah-No Dai, the first Jedi. Phasma secretly married a Jedi named Hahnoris Pane and they had a child. Pane became obsessed with killing the child, as he foresaw a dark future for it. Phasma killed Pane and fled the planet with her child.
    3. Captain Phasma is Rey’s mother. Phasma hid herself and Rey on Kendor, a planet in the unknown region, and lived there until the First Order raided the planet for children to train for their army. Phasma had a friend named Rigoro Ti take Rey to Jakku, where one of Rigoro’s clients (Rigoro is a trader) Ungar Plunk (the same fat alien from “The Force Awakens”) agrees to hide her, for a fee. Phasma was tortured into becoming an officer in their ranks, at Supreme Leader Snoke’s insistence, due to her Jedi training.
    4. Kah-No Dai is the first Skywalker. Kah-No Dai’s kin lived on Eliquoth, until Wii-Nau Dai, one of his descendants, left Eliquoth to seek fame and fortune. Wii landed on Tattooine and she eventually married Pako Skywalker, who gave her a daughter named Shmi. Shmi gave birth to Anakin Skywalker, despite there being no father. Shmi was ostracized for this abominable sin and considered an acolyte of evil.
    5. Danth Vior was Hahnoris Pane’s father and Rey’s grandfather.
    6. “DJ” is Boba Fett’s estranged son, Guro Fett. Boba sold his son into slavery, which Guro escaped. Guro became cynical of society and rejected his Mandalorian heritage, as well as his Kaminoian heritage (he’s got a lot of dead uncles).
    7. The Clone Troopers were destroyed when they rebelled against Emperor Palpatine, for the clones were distraught over the murder of the Jedi. This is why the cloning program is abandoned in the later films, because the science proves to be flawed.
    8. Finn’s parents are alive on Eliquoth, their names are Lorcos Bane and Meyana Bane and Finn’s real name is Danis Bane (but they’ll still call him Finn, any-way).
    9. Ben Solo and Rey Phasma are cousins, due to the Skywalker lineage.
    10. Luke had a daughter, named Kira Skywalker, who was hidden on Eliquoth by the Knights of Ren after Ben destroyed the temple. Kira was training to be a Jedi as well. Kira is around the same age as Rey.
    11. Luke’s wife is on Eliquoth as well. Luke’s wife escaped the melee at Luke’s temple with Kira and, after running from the First Order for many months, fought with the Knights of Ren, who Luke’s wife had turned from the Dark Side, so they could all escape to Eliquoth. Luke’s wife’s name is Mara Jade (why mess with a good thing).

    Ben meets with Connix in a secluded part of the planet and Connix reveals that Leia resides in her body. Ben and his mother speak to each other and mother forgives son. The souls of the great Jedi of the past surround them, to escort Leia to the Netherworld of the Force. Luke and Anakin embrace Ben, until Han Solo, his father, is able to appear, where he forgives his son for murdering him. Ben’s guilt is absolved and he is ready to redeem himself in battle.

    The First Order arrives at Eliquoth and prepares their battalion for war. Captain Phasma takes the Millenium Falcon, along with her daughter Rey, Finn and Ben, in his Kylo Ren armor, to Kylo Dread’s Dreadnaught, where Dread expects Phasma to command his army into battle. Phasma urges her army to remember where they came from and to understand the power they have over these few officers of the First Order. Already contemplating a possible rebellion against their masters for many nights, the Stormtroopers refuse to fight the Rebels any longer. Kylo Dread reveals that he has a contingency plan in place, with an entire droid army, led by the mad droid Vector-6, amassing behind the First Order fleet. The Rebels and the First Order battle the droid army with the following happening:

    1. Finn kills General Hux.
    2. Captain Phasma, Kylo Ren and Rey kill many of the Pratorian Guards, while fighting the Kylos.
    3. Lando is killed while he pilots a massive ship into a commanding droid ship.
    4. Guro dons his Mandalorian armor and destroys many droids.
    5. Poe destroys Vector-6 (first his ship, then in a quick fist fight atop Poe’s ship as it nearly crashes on Eliquoth).
    6. Maz Kanata dies after eviscerating several droid ships.

    Kylo Dread’s ship lands on Eliquoth and takes the corpse of Snoke to the Jedi temple, where they combine it with the Kyber crystals from the two Saber (original Lightsaber and Darksaber) and resurrect Snoke, who morphs into a more formidable opponent, Kenaan Venkal. Venkal is simply one of many identities that Snoke has had over many millennia, and is actually Shra-Nal, an ancient entity that has manipulated countless beings so as to cause chaos in the universe. Shra-Nal feeds on evil and becomes stronger for it. Shra-Nal corrupted Palpatine (the murder of Darth Plageus), Anakin’s premonitions of Padme’s death, Luke’s desire to kill Ben Solo and tempting Ben Solo to the dark side. Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren engage the Rade and Shra-Nal in battle, where only Dread, Shra-Nal and Ren remain. Dread unmasks Ren as Rey, when Phasma, Mara and Kira come to her aid. Shra-Nal wounds Mara and Kira and kills Phasma. Suddenly, seven armored Jedi Knights wearing the ceremonial armor of the seven first Jedi Knights enter the fray, including Ben Solo wearing the armor of Darth Vader (James Earl Jones is doing the voice in this picture, because if it ain’t broke then don’t fix it [the armor will look more like battle armor than a breathing apparatus with a cape]). Darth Vader kills Kylo Dread while Shra-Nal kills the other six knights. Darth/Ben is mortally wounded by Shra-Nal. Rey finally destroys Shra-Nal ending the fight and the war. Ben dies and is reunited with his family. The galaxy celebrates the end of the war, while Rey takes her place as a leader in the Jedi.

    Well, there it is. Thanks for reading and have a great day.
  2. The Life Of Pablo Ren

    The Life Of Pablo Ren I know my name/avi/sig don't match.

    Jan 16, 2013
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    I respect the effort you put in, and there are some things that I like but overall it all seems a bit too convoluted and "convenient".

    A Hux led mutiny is something that I 100% think we're gonna see at least attempted in 9 but I don't think Hux is gonna have access to any sort of secret Snoke apprentice. And the name "Kylo Dread" is that like... a clone of Kylo or something? Or does Snoke just call all of his apprentices, Kylo? At first I thought maybe you just confused Kylo's name/title, like his name is Kylo but his title is Ren but that's probably not the case.

    Also, there was a theory a while back about Phasma being Rey's aunt and there was some evidence to support that in the Phasma novel that came out a few months back (which is canon) but the timeline just doesn't add up.
  3. George Steele's Barber

    George Steele's Barber Advertise Here $9.95/month

    Dec 7, 2010
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    That was well written and certainly creative. I'm especially impressed with the character names. I always found it to be such a chore coming up with names in writing and settling for the names.

    Unfortunately it just doesn't work as a movie. This would impossible to follow for a viewer. Dead, not dead, relative this, relative that. History on top of history. This could possibly work in a novel where the author could narrate the reveals but as a movie it is too complex to follow.

    Otherwise, here are the things I like:
    1. Leia in carbonite - there is not going to be any satisfying ending to Carrie Fisher's story. They had a chance with The Last Jedi but stuck with the plan for that movie. I think it was a nice thing to do for Carrie. That all said, I like this idea. It's more creative than saying Leia was killed between episodes in the title scroll and is a cute nod to Jedi and her relationship with Solo.

    2. Billie Dee - great to have him back. Colt 45s for everyone.

    3. The mutiny - I like the idea of splitting Hux and Ren. Hux is just the pussy to want his own group.

    4. The congregation - I like how you have brought all the major players together.

    What I don't like:

    1. Too many new characters - going back to my original point. This is too much and too complicated for a movie. Especially one that is building off two/eight other movies. I don't know if I can get emotionally invested in all these new characters. Plus too much returning from the perceived dead. While I like the way you bring the players together, having more coincidentally in place is too much.

    2. Kylo - he's too far gone. It helps that you kill him during the end but he has gone too far. There is no coming back for him. I recognize that there was a chance for him to find Vader like redemption but that has passed.

    3. Phasma - let her be dead. Sure she did not fulfill our hope for her but at this point let's just forget about her and move on. She is not worth bringing back for the sake of it.

    4. Jedi don't fuck - the magic and wonder for a little kid watching these movies is that Luke seemingly came from nowhere. Sure we learn that isn't true and it is a powerful reveal. But what we later learn is that Jedi are taken from their families at a young age to train. They don't have attachments which makes total sense. Look at what Anakin's attachment to his mother and Padme did to him.

    So all these relatives are tough to swallow. Sure the force is passed by blood but the Jedi don't want things that way and Luke and Kenobi would have respected that.

    So overall, I think you did a nice job presenting your ideas. I just don't think they work as a movie. Keep trying though.
  4. Albert T

    Albert T Occasional Pre-Show

    Nov 7, 2012
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    Thanks for the ideas. I've also been considering some of my own, including altering some characters and seeing if I find too many coincidences in the story.

    Kylo Dread is meant to be an original character that Snoke had trained on the side, for those who might have thought it was another attempt at doing a clone story again.

    The "Jedi don't fuck" thing is funny, but most people aren't going to have a problem with the relatives, as long as its presented properly.

    As long as I don't put Jar Jar Binks in than I think I'll avoid getting my head blown off.

    Thanks for the suggestions and I'll put a revised version on here at a later time.

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